>Day The Ultimatum in Equestria
>*BEEP! MOTHERFUCKER! BEEP!*
>Fucking alarm clock
>Slam the off button
>Get up and go for the shit, shower, and shave schedule (actual order is optional)
>Get dressed hand head for the refrigerator to get yourself a glass of orange juice
>Hear the 3 soft knocks on the door, identifying that it's that time again
>Do so and head outside 
>No one is there
>You thoroughly look around and shrug it off
>Now you just crouch down to pick up the newspaper
>As the paper is being raised, a walkie talkie slips out
>You send the newspaper under your left arm with a glass juice at hand
>Picking up the walkie talkie with your right hand you ponder
>"Ah, you're up, good morning, lovely."
>You immediately recognize the soft voice on the other side of the damn plastic communicator
"OK, I know that's you Shy, get out here and we can talk."
>"Darn!"
(Recommend listening: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZ3Z6FRvaLw)
>A bush rustles in the distance and walks out is a familiar pink flowing mane and yellow body
>She's still quite a distance, so you still use the gray brick to talk to her
"Alright, what is todays guess?"
>You spot her raise hers up
>"It will be with a simple question and then I will say what it is today,"
>Already knowing what it might be, you stay silent for her to finish on what she will ask
"Will you let me h-have th...that m-money d...dick?"
>Of course...
>Your body reacts by dropping your shoulders
>You raise your right arm up and yell into the box office
"For fucks sake, NO!"
>You notice that her head tilts and all you can see is just the pink hair covering her head
>She raises her wireless rectangle
>"I'm afraid that we've come to our fetish for today."
>You exhale in discuss on what it will be and drop your head forward
>Only to realize a red dot on your chest
>Weird, especially that this is a clean shirt
>You attempt to wipe it off, but your hand goes right through it
>Having the keen instinct that this is Lemonshade's work, you raise the walkie talkie up
"What's going on, Shy?"
>As you look up and directly at her, she does that same to you, only with the stare of a thousand fucks to give
>"Are ultimatum's your fetish?"
>Another dot appears on your chest
"Wha- Flutteshy, what are these?!"
>You may not notice, but that is a shit-eating grin she's giving off
>"Oh, those? Just some of my "associates" helping me out."
>A third red dot appears on your torso
"What do you mean-"
>"HEY THERE NONNY!"
>Another voice sparks out in the box
>"Pinkie! We're supposed to say incognito!"
>And another, sounds like a smart ass
>"Everyone hush! They can hear us!"
>And another, it's a prestigious tone
>"Will you guys shut up!?"
>Now a tomboy speaks up
>You just stand there listening to the feud
>Taking a stand, you intervene by trying to talk
"Any more friends listening, Shy?"
>Everyone goes silent, and you hear one walkie talkie go on
>"No... that's all of us," says a quiet toned voice
>You're in question on why the one with a hard on for ahpples isn't here
>Must be busy with her work, as usual
>Twilight: "Alright then Anon, care to surrender?"
>You scoff from such a bullshit assertion
"Right, like I'm afraid at some laser pointers. I'm calling at your bluffs."
>A fourth light comes on and aims at your chest
>FlutterShy: "On the contrary, they're more than fancy lights. Give our friend an example, Dash"
>The fourth light quickly swerves to your orange juice at hand, and a loud snap sound is made
>A shining object is hurling towards it and collides right through
>Your hand is pushed back with your body and you topple from the force
>Laying on the ground, you wonder what was that
>You quickly grab your walkie talkie and newspaper too look at the damage
>Shattered glass and splattered OJ is in a wide range on the side of you
"Looking at your wall next to the small destruction is a giant dragon dildo
>The worst part is, when you examined it
>It is an actual dragon dick, stuffed and sharpened
>How were they able to get this
>Better question is on how they would get weaponry or even how to use it!
>Fuck it, all that matters is getting out of this contention
>A risky idea pops in your head
>You pretend to drop some of the stuff
>As you pick the newspaper and walkie talkie it back up, you grab a well-shaped shard
>Pressing the "talk" button, you try to reconsider this
>But it's too late now
"Shy... you win. I surrender."
>You are able to see the mare perks up her ears and wings
>She gets on the line, breathing heavily as she talks
>"Yes! YES! Take the lights off girls!"
>Slowly, one by one the lights go off
>3 of the 4 lights are off, one is still guided on the mid center of your torso
>Twilightlicious: "Dash, get that light off!"
>Rainbow: "I don't trust this guy, I was expecting him to give a fight."
>Rara: "He just surrendered, isn't that just enough?"
>Cunt: "Still, I don't know about it"
>Shy:  “Let it go, Dash. He’s mine.”
>A groan of agony is heard, and so is a faint switch
>You look at your chest
>Not a red light is on you
“That’s better.”
>A line goes on
>”Alright, honey. Mama’s coming over!”
>Oh, fuck. Right.
>You see her flapping her wings and darts right for you
>Grabbing the newspaper out, you quickly roll up the shard in it and hold it in your right hand
>Come get me, bitch
>She’s charging at you with high speeds and makes a valiant leap
>You feel a soft landing on your chest
>She wraps her hind legs around your waist and hugs you
>The psychotic mare gives you an impassioned on the cheek
>You sand there, letting her snuggle you
>And slowly wrap your arms around her, waiting for the right moment
>”So, ready for some lovin’ sweetie?”
>You snicker at her statement
“Actually, now that I think of it,”
>She darts her bollixed face at you
“I’m ready to re-negotiate.”
>The newspaper is dropped, leaving the glistening piece of glass exposed
>Raising it to her in your arms and forcing her around
>”EEP!”
>You approach the weapon to her throat and wait
>Immediately 4 lights target at you and the light yellow mastermind
>They scatter around for an open body part
>The stone box is crowded with chatter
“Press the button.”
>She does so, leaving it on speaker and whimpering
“Alright! Ready to give up?”
>It goes silent for a moment
>Someone activates their talker
>”Not even! I like a challenge anyway!”
>One laser heads higher on your torso, until you can’t see it
>Another line is activated
>”Rainbow! Don’t do it!”
>You start to break a sweat
>”Why?! I was right about him!”
>No shit, may want to put that on your resume and send that to the Wonderfags
>”If you do, he will flinch and cause damage to her! Haven’t you’ve been paying attention on my lectures?!”
>A brief silence happens on the line, only to be heard is your hostage whimper
>”Uhh, right, yeah. Well… maybe I’ve slept a little.”
>Multiple groans of disappoint can be heard
>”OK, darling. No need to make any hasty movements. What do you want?”
>Looks like the ace in the sleeve worked
“All I want is to get back in my home.”
>Some whispers are heard as your captive sniffles
>You grow impatient from the suspense
“I haven’t got all day, ladies!”
>Tension rises from a pause of silence
>”FlutterShy, what do you think?”
>She holds tears as she tries to say something
>”J-Just… let him… go….”
>Another stillness fills the sound waves
>Clicks can clearly be heard, identifying that the lights are off
>”Alright, Nonny. They’re no more!”
>Bookworm: ”Just give our friend back.”
>You slowly back to your door
>Confirming its existence by laying your back against the smooth oak finish
>You drop the fragment and let go the mare by throwing her to the ground
>She stands on her hooves before she makes contact and attempts to charge at you
>Slamming the door, another slam is heard, followed by a thump
>You inspect the door to see a dragon dildo has penetrated the door halfway
>”Come on, Anon. These are only to stun you, for now.” Says the knowledge p0ny
>Rushing to the bookshelf, you push it and lean it against the door
>Sadly, it won’t hold for long
>Running upstairs to your bedroom, you duck when passing your window when another shot is fired
>Luckily, you barrel roll past it
>”Darn it, he anticipated my shot!”
>Kicking your master bedroom door down, you head for the closet and scavenge for what you’re looking for
>A riot shield custom made by the Royal Guard for Anti-Rape purposes and 2 flash grenades
>And you thought that this would never be of a special occasion
>Heading back down, you hear the door being breached by multiple shots
>Heading in a crouching position, you prepare for the worst
>The door breaks, and a pony is seen flying in
>”Give me that nice DONG!”
>As the Pegasus moves like thunder, you hit her at the right moment
>She hits your shield, only to give off a goofy look viewed by the plastic barrier
>The silly p0ny slides downward and tumbles to the ground
>Success!
>You jump over her and right to outside, still having the plastic guardian in front of you
>Three simultaneous breaking sounds are heard
>All three hit your shield, causing you to fall back on your ass
>You carefully trace the shots
>One came from the boutique, another from Sugar Cube Corner, and the last from the fucking tree in town
>Wait, that’s three, where’s-
>Another shot is made, this one is hard and makes a dent on your shield
>It came from the only cloud in the sky
>”What setting did you put that on, Dash?” Says the intellectual one
>”I set it on penetrate.” The sky blue bitch replies
>”But FlutterShy said we’re not allowed to use that mode!” A party animal exclaims
>FlutterShy, are we able to switch into the dastardly mode now?”
>You turn around to see the animal lover standing up and look at you in a threatening manner
>She raises her communication shit and speaks softly
>”Girls, you may use it… if it’s fine with you.”
>3 swift clicks are heard on your end
>Time to leave!
>Pulling a flashbang, you toss it to the ground in front of you and close your eyes tightly
>Only a loud ping sound can be immediately heard
>Opening your eyes, you still have your sight, while the others are dazed, making random shots around you
>You run off, lacing the shield on your back and think what can be a sanctuary
>Then you realize the orange ahpple picker
>Maybe the Southern mare can help you!
>Quickly heading for her barn, a shot just misses you
>It came from an upward direction
>Looking up, a shadow is casted on you and a spark comes from it
>It wasn’t lightning, but another dildo smacking against your artificial savior
>The impact leaves a small crack, but you still run
>A few seconds pass as the cloud is still on your tail
>Another dead on shot hits your shield, leaving a bigger crack besides it
>”Keep on him, Dash! I want that monkey penis, NOW!”
>A loud reloading sound is made
>You hesitate on grabbing your spare spark grenade
>Your ONLY spark grenade
>Without a second thought, you close your eyes and toss it in the air
>It  hits the cloud and ignites in the process
>A fire is sounded and whiffles you by
>Seems like through sheer luck has saved you this far
>Heading into the tree lines, you lose them
>But they’re still picking up the trail, better hurry on
>Out of breath and losing motivation, a big barn is shown in a distance
>With all of your strength, you give one last effort to making it
>You see that orange colored mare moving a cart full of apples inside and resting it there
(Recommend: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MgOKY28XtSY)
>Right behind her, you rush into the barn
>The orange colored tinted p0ny notices you and tries to talk
>"Howdy there, Anon! What are yo-"
>As you struggle to push the barn door, you cut her off
"Just help me close this!"
>She runs up to you and wit her help, it closes the door with ease
>You breathe for precious air as the Southern mare stares at you with a mystify look
>"Alrighy, care to explain?"
>In a quick amount of time, you explain your exigency of a morning
>She stands there, in awe of what she just heard
>The door slightly opens
>”You think he’s in there?” whispers an eminent voice that can be heard on your talker
>”I know it… I can smell him.” A nervous voice calmly replies
>The door is then yanked open and stands is 5 colorful p0nies
>You cower behind the labor worker
“AJ, talk some sense into your friends!”
>She turns around to face you
>With a shifted look of a crooked smile crossed on her face
>”I have ah better idea.”
>She gets out her lasso and ties your arms together
“What the he-“
>She pulls on it, making you lunge forward
>”Ya don’t know how boring it can be here, especially when it’s ya own brother!”
>Eugh… maybe too much to hear
>”Now that you’re here, I’h can finally try a new taste”
>You look over to the other five who are now surrounding you
>”Ah, don’t worry; I’m sure all of us are going to have a great time.”
>”I go first, this is my idea.” Says the banana colored mare
>”That may be, but I strategized the entire thing!” exclaims the teacher lover
>”Yeah, but I kept a good eye on him!” shouts the multi-colored hair bitch
>All of them are now in as feud on who gets first dibs on your dick
>You  crawl slowly out of the group and run out before they could spot you
>Heading back to your house, you repair your door and keep the dragon stuffed dick as a constellation prize, a memorial of what could have been in your anus by
>Fucking FlutterShy