Begin pastebin
>It's a lovely night in Equestria
>And you've stumbled upon Carousel Boutique.
>With your darkness-stained fist, you knock on the door.
>As if on cue, the lovely lady, Rarity, opened it and graced her eyes upon your visage for the first time.
>"B-Buhhh..whaa?"
"Everyone asked who I'd be until I put on this mask."
>She can barely comprehend you, Bane, the reckoning of Equestria.
>"W-What are you?"
"It doesn't matter what I am. What matters is my plan."
>She struggles to come up with a response. But the most she can muster is..
>"I-If I take that...thing...off, will it hurt?"
>You smirk.
"It would be extremely painful..."
>She forces a smile.
>"W-Well it's a good costume."
"For you, Rarity."
>"PFFFFFFFFFFAAHAHAHAHAHA-"
>You could hear Rainbow Dash inside the Carousel Boutique, laughing her ass off.
>By the way, you are Anon. Day Nightmare Night in Equestria.
>And you've successfully baneposted Rarity.
>10/10
>She scowls.
>"Really? You too?"
"Yep," you say in your normal voice.
>Well, 'normal' as in 'masked normal'. Gotta keep the mask and all.
>"I've gotten too many ponies in Dark Knight costumes tonight, Anon. You can't seriously think I'm not annoyed-"
>"Well," Rainbow Dash called from inside, "it was worth seeing your face when that happened."
>She wheeled around towards 'Top Cunt', who was less of a cunt than usual.
>"Rainbow, darling, you must keep still. Your costume is tearing at the seams, it NEEDS to be fixed. Whatever would happen if it tore up in the middle of Nightmare Night?!"
>"Oh come on, Rarity. It's flexible."
>rarara scowl intensifies.gif
>"For you, maybe-"
>She paused.
>"Oh for pony's sake."
>You chuckled.
>"Now you got ME doing it."
"The fire rises, My Lady."
>If all of Earth's men and women got together and scowled simultaneously, Rarity's scowl would surpass the combined scowling they'd have to offer. 9/10 you're impressed
>"Look, Anon, go bug Pinkie Pie or something. She's probably having too much fun as that Catpony or something-"
>Kek
>You wouldn't be surprised.
>See, one day Rainbow Dash tried to find your stash of porn.
>You're not a dumbass so the folder was password protected on your computer, the latter of which Rainbow didn't know how to use
>But what she did find was your pirated copy of The Dark Knight Rises.
>She LOVED it.
>As in she gushed over every second and, when you caught her and kicked her out of your house, she begged you to let her stay and watch the rest of the movie.
>And then it spread all across Equestria because of how much she gushed about it.
>And then you became a millionaire-
>no
>The publisher became a millionaire.
>Because fuck humans, right?
>But that's old news. Time to crash Pinkie Pie's party.
>With no survivors.
>You waltz into Sugarcube Corner; the NOT!Halloween party was already underway
>You scanned the surroundings
>Applejack was helping with confections.
>Pinkie Pie was having a cider-drinking contest with- HOLY SHIT Princess Luna?!
>And to cap it off, you saw SEVERAL fillies dressed up either as Batman, Bane, Catwoman, CIA Man, etc
>Damn it felt good to bring Batman to Equestria
>"Hey, Bane!"
>You look down.
>Spike in particular's actually dressed up as Dr. Pavel. Noice.
"Spike, my brother."
>"Yo. Say, uh, when you get a chance, Twilight wanted to see you."
>Huh??
"Alright. Lemme guess, I'm in trouble."
>"Nope, she just wanted to stop and say hi."
>Ah
"Alright. I'll be up in a second."
>"Alright, have fun tonight!"
>You look back at Ponk.
>Holy shit how is Pinkie Pie still sober?
>Well, fuggit. You go upstairs to go bug Twilight.
>Knock-knock, bretheren, it's Equestria's reckoning!
>Door opens, and-
>O-Oh.
>Standing in the door is Twilight, in one of the sexiest pony-harem outfits you've ever seen.
>U-Unf..
>"Happy Nightmare Night, Anon!"
>Again, dat outfit
"H-Hey, Twilight."
>She smiles.
>God dammit this was even u-unfier.
>Is that even a word?
>It should be.
>She apparently noticed, as she gave a scowl.
>"I've gotten that kind of sweating from every stallion I've seen tonight. I KNOW it's because of the outfit."
>And she drew her body closer to yours..
>Her body clad in gold garments meant for ponies who'd fit in an Egyptian harem or something
>F-Fuck..
>"And you know what I said to them, right, Anon?"
"N-No?"
>Then she did it.
>She did the thing...
>"Boop!" she smiled as she booped your nose
>Oh.
>Fuck she DIDN'T
>Bitch don't do that to you
"Twilight you fucker don't boop my nose."
>She giggled.
>"You're silly when you're turned on, Anon. Statistics proves it."
>You turned your Bane voice on
"BUT I'M EQUESTRIA'S RECKONING!"
>She rolls her eyes.
>"Suuuure you are."
>Fucking Ponies sometimes.
"AAAAAAAAnyway, whatchu want?"
>She sat down on the bed.
>"Well, I figured we could do some reading tonight, if you're interested?"
"What, do you really want me to study on Halloween?"
>She raised her eyebrow. "Halloween?"
>Shit
"NIGHTMARE Night, sorry."
>"Well, no. This was actually a book meant for reading only on this day."
>She hovers the book over, and you scan the title.
"Ahem...'Ravendoe's Accursed Book of Horrors' Yikes, that name though. Kill it with fire, Twilight!"
>"NO!"
>Kek
>You almost forgot how butthurt Starbutt got about damaging books.
"YES, TWILIGHT, THE FIRE RISE-"
>TWACK
"OW!"
>That bitch just hit you with the book!
"I was JOKING, Twilight, calm down."
>She rolls her eyes.
"Anyway, this is a spellbook, right?"
>"Actually no. It's more of a compiled assortment of stories and poems that all have a theme of being scary."
>Ohhhh boy.
>Spooky time.
>Rev up those skeletons
>You open the book.
>Sure enough, on every page there's text that's either strange poems or strange stories.
>Stranger than Writeslut's, even.
>"I actually haven't read it yet, so I figured we could start reading it together."
"Cool."
>The two of you start looking through the book. None of them were spooky enough to read aloud...
>"OOoh! Here's a good one."
>Speak of the devil.
>"'The will to laugh is a will for good, to take that away is to sour the mood....' I guarantee you Pinkie Pie would hate not being able to laugh."
"Yeah, no kidding. Alright, Starbutt, my turn."
>You start skimming through the pages to find a good one to read.
>Lessee...
>Aha!
"Get a load of this:
"To where the ties bind, the weaver unweaves.
"And to where they seam, the tailor leaves.
"Therefore, to unravel the tailor, to unravel what gleams,
"Unbind the unbinding and unseam the seams."
>Dafuq was this?
"Okay yeah this is getting to be creepypasta tier."
>"Creepypasta? What's that?"
>Oh shit you never talked about that with her.
"Back on Earth, we have this long-standing 'thing' where innocent-seeming things, like video games, end up unleashing unspoken horrors, of murder, curses, insanity, and fates worse than death."
>The look on her face is priceless.
>"That's horrible! Who would do this sort of thing?"
"The story-writers, that's who. It's basically a modern-day ghost story."
>She sighs in relief.
>"Bet you anything Rainbow Dash would love it."
>A shit-eating grin forms on your face.
"Bat you anything?"
>She groaned. "Give me the book, Anon."
>She took her book back and started scanning through the pages.
>"Huh, let's see...
>"A dog and a cat hate each other nonstop,
>"A cat and a dog hate themselves on top.
>"...that doesn't make any sense."
"You're telling me. Vague as fuck."
>She smirked.
>A sexy smirk
"A-Alright, fess up. What made you decide on that outfit?"
>"Well, I've been doing a bit of reading on Saddle Arabian culture, and historically, ponies who wear this kind of clothing were actually highly regarded by the common folk. They're the Saddle Arabian equivalent of nobles over there."
"Hmmm, very nice. I've never been, so it just looks like something a harem dancer would wear."
>"You're not the first to think of that. They don't do that anymore, unfortunately, because of a boom in silk-trading over in Neigh-jing that afforded them better clothes."
>Heh
"Well again, you look good in it."
>"You and the rest of Ponyville, Anon."
"Well if it's the truth-"
>She rolled her eyes again.
>"Anyway, it's your turn to read something."
>Alright.
>Time to man up.
>You skip every other page to see what was the final creepy-ass story
>ohohohoooo
"Oh this is golden!"
>"What?"
"Ahem...
"The soul is a wonderful thing, and a very powerful thing.
"Without the body, the heart and soul free themselves from the earth.
"Without the heart, the body and soul turn vile and rampage upon the earth...
"But without the soul, the body and mind cease to live, and therein is how the pony dies."
>Hoooooooly shit.
"Now THAT is a creepy-ass story."
>You look back towards Twilight.
>Her pupils were dilated and unblinking.
>As if she were struck by an unimaginable fear.
"Uhhh, Twilight?"
>She blinked.
>K there we go.
>"O-oh, sorry Anon. Just...yeeeesh, that's creepy."
"Happy Nightmare Night, Starbutt, welcome to creepville."
>She sighed. "I mean, it's not like it's real or anything, right?"
//Famous last words
"Heh, probably."
>She closed the book right there and then.
>"Well, I think I'm gonna go downstairs and party."
>She started heading towards the stairs leading back down.
>She turned back to look at you, and winked.
>"You're welcome to join if you want."
>You smiled.
"Alright."
>And on that note, you're still Equestria's Reckoning.
>So you have to crash this party, with no survivors.
...
>Hours later, you're at home, stuffed.
>You were dared to eat a shitton of candy.
>Shit's good.
>Somehow Ponk survived the drinking contest with Princess Luna
>Somehow Ponk WON the drinking contest
>Somehow LUNA passed out.
>You'll never doubt that Pinkie Pie can hold her liquor.
>It's gonna be funny in the morning for her.
>You can already imagine it.
>But on that note, you take off your costume and start getting ready for bed.
>Y'know, it was good seeing Twilight again.
>The two of you had a good time.
>Maybe you'll be able to bug her again in the future, who knows?
>But for now, your BIGGEST concern is bed.
>The snore rises.
>ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
...
>Day Alarm clock in Equestria
>It's no longer Nightmare Night, and you're no longer Bane.
>You're Anon.
>And you hate this FUCKING alarm clock.
>You groan as you start to blindly reach for the alarm clock.
>You put it on fucking snooze, and you start to get out of bed to fulfill your daily shit-shower-shave
>Only to find that you can't.
>Opening your eyes, you soon find that you have a pony on your lap.
>Wat.
"Allo?"
>"Urrrgggnn..." you hear her- you're sure it's a her -groan.
>Okay you're awake now.
>And that is definitely Twalot.
>"Murrnninnn Anonn..." she mumbles.
"Alright, quick question."
>"Mmm?"
"What are you doing in my house?"
>"...well, I..."
>C'mon, Starbutt, this ain't rocket science.
>"Well, I-I was resting on your lap?"
>No shit sherlock
"Why?"
>"I have no idea what came over me last night. I think I had a...kind of a need to lay on your lap."
"Oh, really?"
>"Yes. I think what happened was I had a dream last night that you were in. I don't remember what happened exactly, but it was a good dream..."
>Another thing you'll need to pester Luna about today holy shit
>"But if it's any condolence, all data I've accumulated up to now proves that your lap is comfy."
>Comfy?
"Okay, Twilight, I appreciate you trying to suck up to me but one, I just woke up, two you just broke and entered my house to lie on me, and three I have work in the morning. So I'd appreciate it if you got off my lap."
>She flinched at your grumpy morning rant, but got off immediately.
"Thank you."
>"You're welcome, Anon."
>You FINALLY get up and start heading towards the bathroom.
>Time to shit-shower-shave it up.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ku2380c-lE4
>AHhhhhhhhh..
>That shower felt good
>You finish your shaving and leave the bathroom..
>...only to find Twilight Sparkle still there.
"Twilight?"
>"Yeah?"
"What are you still doing here?"
>"...."
>Oh for fuck's sake.
>"Well, I was gonna walk out with you, if that's fine."
>You're more alert, but at this point you're so done.
"That's fine, but remember, I need to be at work, so it was good seeing you but I need to be on my way."
>She nods. "That's fine."
>Once you get your clothes on (you had to shoo her out of the room because muh privacy) you leave, with Twilight just behind you.
>Onwards and upwards to Carousel Boutique.
>As you're walking towards Rarity's, you notice Twilight's STILL following you.
"Uh, Twilight?"
>She looks up at you and smiles. "Yes?"
"I'm actually not kidding when I say I need to work."
>"O-Oh. Right. S-Sorry."
>She stuttered that sorry. Not super at all.
>Damage control the fuck out of this.
"No, it's fine. You're still good."
>She takes a moment to breathe and smile.
>Ponies r weird
"But don't you have a schedule you need to do?"
>She flinched. "OH NO!"
>She hastily brought out her checklist and schedule to see what was on the agenda.
>"OH NONONONONO, I NEED TO SEE FLUTTERSHY, I SAID I WAS GONNA HELP OUT WITH THE STRANGE CREATURE SHE FOUND IN THE FOREST LAST NIGHT!"
>Yeah, that was a thing, apparently.
>She scurries off towards Fluttershy's cottage.
>Better her than you, at any rate.
>Alright, Rarity's work ethics take 2. Action.
>RING-A-LING MOTHERFUCKER IT'S THE X IN THE Y
>"AH!"
>Hoo boy did your obnoxious ringing startle Rarity finally?
"Oh, sorry. Didn't mean to scare you."
>"N-No, it's not you. Well it is, but it's not. Does that make any sense?"
>Wat
"No. What's going on?"
>"Well, you see, I-I've been having a nuisance of a trouble this morning, and I can't QUITE figure this out."
>60 kiloWAT.
"What's the matter?"
>"Well, it's...I'm trying to make a dress but I just can't get the seams right!"
>You think you broke a lightbulb with that many wats.
"Alright, let's see what you got."
>"NO! I simply cannot let ANYPONY bear eyes to this disaster-"
"Well I'm not a pony, and I'm sure it'll be fine."
>Rarity pauses, then nods. She hands you the dress-in-progress.
>Yikes.
>It's as if the binding of this dress tried to come undone on their own.
>Fucking christ.
"Well, it seams you're right."
>"ANONYMOUS!"
"Oh come on, that was a good pun."
>She glares at you. "No, it really wasn't."
>Tough crowd.
"Well, I guess start from scratch and keep the binding and seams in place?"
>"Anon, this is my FOURTH dress I've done that with."
>...
>Oh.
>"I'm at wit's end, here. I think I might be going crazy."
"You're telling me."
>You're secretly afraid of Rarity going psycho on you.
"Well, is there anything I can do right now?"
>"Unfortunately, not at this time. We'll just have to work harder at it tomorrow."
>Sighhhhh
"Alright, byyye."
>You start to leave, only to find a mass of white fur on your head.
>AUGH WHITE CAT
"AGUASDUSAHDUA OPAL GERROFFAMEE!"
>"NYA! NYA! NYA!" it meowed as it kept pawing your head.
>"Opalescence! Get off of Anonymous this INSTANT!"
>Opal glanced at her owner for a second, and sheepishly leapt down.
>Fucking cats. GOD.
>"I'm dreadfully sorry, Anonymous."
"It's fine. Just that I'm not a cat person. Well, I'm outta here."
>She nods, and you leave the Carousel Boutique.
>Fucking Christ.
>So Rarity was having a BSOD, Opal hated you now, and you were left with nothing to do for until your job at Sugarcube Corner.
>Hmmmmm...
>Rarity having dress problems?
>You feel as if you may have actually predicted it, as if it were a sense of deja vu...
>...
>Nahhhhhh.
>You decide to go bug Pinkie Pie early.
>Why not?
>KNOCK KNOCK, WHO'S THERE, IT'S THE FUCKING POLICE
>Door opens and-
>WAUGH BLUE HORSE
>"ANON?! Oh thank GOODNESS it's you! Come in, quickly!"
>Uh okay
>You enter the building to see what the matter is.
>"Okay, so...Pinkie Pie has, well...she's had to take a sick day today."
>Oh NOOOOOO
"Really?"
>"Yes. She's feeling...rather ill at the moment. But right now we need a helping hoof- er, 'hand' at the register."
>Okay so you're doing your job early.
"Alright."
>Great.
>So much for bugging Ponk.

-----------------

>Day Working in Equestria
>Actually it's about three hours later.
>You were NOT prepared for this.
>You're on the last remaining half-hour until Pinkie's shift is over.
>Thankfully, you're almost done.
"Hi welcome to Sugarcube Corner what can I get for you today good lady?"
>The mare at the counter, Bon Bon you think it was, had a decent wat face.
"Sorry, mixing up my greetings today. What can I do you for?"
>"Well, I'd like to purchase a mint ice cream with chocolate chip."
>OOoooh, Mint?
"Sure! Will that be all for you?"
>"That's all."
"Alright, that'll be..."
>You ring it up at the counter...
"That'll be 7 bits."
>"Hmm, not bad."
>She grabs her wallet and delivars.
>You call to the back.
"OI. WE GOT AN ORDER FOR A 'MINT' ICE CREAM WITH CHOCOLATE CHIPS!"
>"GOT IT!"
>You turn back to Bon Bon
"Alright, it'll be here shortly."
>"Thanks, Anon."
"No problem."
>She takes a seat at a nearby table, and you look down at your next custome-
>"Heyyyyy, Anon..."
>oh FUCK no
>Okay, backstory time.
>Months ago there was some conflict between you and the CMC regarding your lack of cutie mark.
>They wanted you to join their club, because they wanted you to get your cutie mark, because 'no pony should go cutie mark less!'
>You had to sit down and explain to them why humans don't have cutie marks.
>They tried to rope you into their misadventures anyway.
>You barely escaped, but apparently escaping led Diamond Tiara, their arch-nemesis, into forming a crush on you.
>So she made it routine to visit Sugarcube Corner every time during your shift and use whatever remaining allowance (if any) to buy something so she could hit on you.
>Which you'd be fine with except she's underage.
"H-Hi, miss, what can I do for you?"
>"You..." she mumbles.
"Excuse me?"
>"Oh! Uh, I'd like a banana split sundae with chocolate sauce and jimmies."
>Well, that and she calls sprinkles 'jimmies'.
>That rustles your OWN jimmies.
"You mean sprinkles?"
>"Yes, of course Anon~"
>C'mon...
"Will that be all for you?"
>"I'd also like two blueberry muffins, and...hmmm."
>Problem is, she's got a shitton of allowance.
>Mr. Filthy Rich be damned.
>"And I'd like a glass of fine milk."
>You're not even certain fine milk is a thing-
>You glance at the clock
>YES!
>YESSSSS!
"Well, is that all?"
>C'moonnnnnnn
>"Yes. That'll be all for now."
>YESS
"That'll be 30 bits."
>She doesn't even skip a beat. She's got this price pinned down.
"WE GOT A BANANA SPLIT WITH CHOCOLATE AND SPRINKLES, TWO BLUEBERRY MUFFINS AND A GLASS OF MILK-"
>"Ahem."
"EXCUSE ME, 'FINE MILK'."
>"COMING RIGHT UP!"
>And with that, you're done for the shift!
>FREEDOM FROM DIAMONDBUTT-
>"Hold up," you hear from Mr. Cake.
>Oh no
"What?"
>"It's technically your actual shift now."
>NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
>"I mean, if you don't want to keep working that's fine-"
>OKAY YES! GOTTA GO FA-
>"-but Pinkie's still sick, so we'll pay double for today."
>...
>Okay maybe 60 bits/wk instead of 40 isn't too bad.
>Fuck tiarabutt though
>While her order's being taken care of, she's just content to sit at the front of the line.
"Uh, excuse me, Miss-"
>"Oh, Anon, you're so coy~"
>Fucking hell
"I don't want to be rude, but you're holding up the line."
>You take a glance behind her.
>She's the only one in line.
>FUCK.
>"I don't see anypony behind me."
>FUCK SHIT
>"Sooo, it's just you...and me..."
>RING-A-LING MOTHERFUCKER IT'S THE SMELL OF SUCCESS
"And that pony right there! Ayyyyy, welcome to Sugar...cube...corner."
>You had to draw that name out. Why?
>Fucking Fluttershy.
>Ohhhhhh boy this was not good.
>Thankfully Twilight was with her.
>Phew.
"Oh boy."
>"H-Hii, Anon," breathed Fluttershy.
>Your dick's gonna get raped today, isn't it?

Of course it is - Anon

"Hey there, Flutters. Sooo, how's the new thing you found?"
>"The new thing Fluttershy found is adorable, Anon~" Twilight squeed.
>oh boy
"Adorable?"
>"Yes! It's the most adorable thing ever seen in Equestria. Why, we have Mr. Snugglekins with us right now!"
>She brought up the creature she found in the woods, and-
>pic related (corgi pic)
"I...uhhhh.."
>"A-Anon?" stuttered Twilight. "Are you okay?"
>You needed a moment to let it sink in.
>...
>There we go.
"OMIGOSH IT'S SO ADORABLE I WANNA KEEP IT AND HUG IT AND PET IT AND IT'S SO ADORABLE AAAAA-"
>"Anon, you love it?"
>YES YES YES YES YES YES
>You swooned in how adorable it was

>"W-Well," Twilight explained, "Fluttershy found it in the forest, and we don't know what it is or how it got here-"
>WAIT WAHT
"Hold up you don't know what a CORGI is?"
>They looked at each other to verify.
>FOR FUCKS SAKE YOU TWO
"A corgi, is what this thing is, it's a different breed of dog that's usually very common, and it's-"
>"Well, we've never seen a corgi before, so, we weren't sure what to make of it," Twilight sheepishly admitted.
>"It's very, VERY cute, though!"
"I'm convinced that whoever created our universe created life, and then created the one creature to roam the earth that's made to be adorable, and made it a dog."
>We shared a giggle. The corgi yipped.
>SO FUCKING ADORABLE
"Buuuuuut as much as I'd like to stay and pet the corgi, I have to-"
>What happened next came without warning.
>"aaaaaaaaaaaaaanNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNN!"
>OH SHIT
>A HUGE MASS OF PINK AND MAGENTA FUR CAME RACING DOWN THE STAIRS AND ONTO YOUR GREEN BODY
>AUGH PINK HORSE
"Holy CRAP Pinkie what the heck!?"
>"ANON! YOU GOTTA HELP ME! I THINK I'M GOING CUH-RAAAAZY!"
"...more than you already are?"
>"NO! LIKE, YOU GOTTA TELL ME A JOKE, PLEASE!"
>Pic related. (watt.gif)
"Uhhhhh..I'm not-"
>"JUST DO IT!"
>Okay uh
"So a horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'Hey.' The horse says, 'Sure!'"
>Fluttershy looks mildly confused. Twilight bursts out laughing.
>Ponk on the other hand takes a deep breath as if she's ready to laugh...
>...and it never comes.
"...oh come on Pinkie, it wasn't THAT bad was it?"
>"NONONO! IT WAS GREAT! JUST THAT...I CAN'T LAUGHHHH!"
>She breaks down, crying over this fact.
>U-Uhhhh
"W-Well why don't I tell a different joke? M-Maybe that'll work!"
"Why should you never trust an egg with your secrets?...They're always the first to crack!"
>Again, Twilight laughs. Fluttershy giggles slightly.
>Still nothing from Ponk.
>Huh.
"Maybe it's because of your super hangover from last night."
>"Except I didn't get drunk, Anon! I told youuuu!"
>You called bullshit.
"That's what they all say, miss-"
>"Anon," Twilight interjected, "they've tried. She simply will not get drunk."
>Okay you're wondering how the fuck alcohol works on her.
>U-Uhhh
"Well, let's see..."
>Oh this joke's a killer!
"What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating in a swimming pool?"
>You pause for dramatic effect.
>"Well?"
"Bob."
>Fluttershy and Twilight burst out laughing.
>...
>And still nothing from Pinkie Pie.
"Wow, you really are in a pickle."
>"I k-know, and it's driving me crazy!"
"I can definitely see why Mr. and Mrs. Cake had me fill in for you this morning."
>"Wait WHAT?!"
>uh oh
>"Oh nonononono, Anon, you sit back and enjoy your day! I'll manage the lunch shift!"
>Fucking what
"But I'm-"
>"Uh uh uh, no buts! Let Auntie Pinkie take care of-"
>"PINKIE!" Twilight shouts suddenly.
>Whoa.
>Das a loud Starbutt
>"Pinkie, if Anon wants to keep his job, he can do so! Don't go in and try to steal other ponies' jobs!"
>"But but but-"
>"No buts! I'm sure Anon here is happy with what he's doing, and you have no right-"
>for fucks sake Starbutt
"TWILIGHT."
>She pauses her rant for a second to look up at you.
>Yes, up.
>Yes, you're taller than her.
>Not sure why that was worth mentioning.
"Me and Pinkie Pie have different shifts. She's not taking up my job, if anything I've taken up HER job. We're fine, alright?"
>Twilight paused, and looked as if she'd been told off by a parent.
>Today is National Wat Day.
>"O-Oh...I'm really, really sorry Anon."
"Hey, it's fine. Just..don't wig out about her. She's your friend, right?"
>She nods.
"But hey, at least I get off in time for lunch."
>Pinkie salutes, and gets up to the register.
>Alright, what do you want for lunch...?
>"Oh, uh, girls?" Pinkie pops in to ask.
>"Yeah, Pinkie?" asked Twilight.
>"Do you all mind taking the adorablest puppy ever outside? I mean it's ADOWABLE, but Sugarcube Corner has a pretty strict no pets allowed policy in the dining area."
>Okay bullshit
"Explain Gummy, then."
>She gives you a 'are you fuckin' serious Anon' look.
>Oh
>Right
"Right, sorry. No teeth."
>"I'll order, Anon," stated Twilight. "You two tell me what you want."
>Hmmm
"I could go for a grilled cheese right now."
>Time to test the theory of grilled cheese.
>"And how about you, Flutters?"
>"W-Well, um...I-I'll just have a f-flower sandwich right now, if that's okay with you..."
>Classic Fluttershy.
>"Alright, I'll be out in a bit."
>You would stay and chat with Ponk, buuuut...no dogs allowed.
>So you end up going outside with Fluttershy.
>Alone and unprotected.
>She thought the same thing, and started up the conversation. "Well, Anon?"
"Well..what?"
>"Are corgis your fetish?"
>It's as if she doesn't know what a fetish is and is starting to list things you like
>For an innocent rapist she's at least determined.
"You found my weakness, correct. But you haven't found my fetish. Sorry, Flutters."
>She feels kind of down. "Awwww..."
"You have to understand, I'm saving my D for someone else. I mean you're cute and all-"
>"You're saving it for Twilight, aren't you?"
>Uhhhh
"No, of course not. Why her in particular?"
>"W-Well...she..."
>She blushed.
>"S-She..."
"Spit it out, Fluttershy."
>"S-She said she couldn't stop thinking about you while we were at the cottage. And- And she kept talking about how much she loved cuddling with you last night and how much you-"
"WHOA, UH..."
>Okay yeah no you can't be doin' with this.
"Fluttershy, she told you about that?"
>She whimpers in response.
"Okay, look, she might have been sleepwalking; I was surprised to find a Purple pone on my lap when waking up."
>"O-Oh, so you're not.."
"No. We're not."
>She gives a weak smiles
>uh oh
"At least, not yet. Again it might change but, y'know."
>"A-Alright...but she said she loves you."
>WHOAAAAAAAA
"S-She did?"
>"Yeah....just don't tell her I told you, alright? I-I mean, if that's fine with you.."
"Sure. But..."
>This was too awkward to think about.
"I'm a little taken aback."
>The corgi, still in Fluttershy's arms, nuzzles up to her.
>D'awwwwwwww
>The doors to Sugarcube Corner open, and Twilight's got the food in convenient carrying boxes.
>"I've got lunch, everypony! Who's hungry?"
The two of you find a nearby picnic table to sit at
>UNLOADAN LUNCHEON
>GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICH GET
>FLORAL SANDWICH GET
>LUNCH FOR TWI-
>wait
>there's no lunch for Twilight
"Uh, Twilight?"
>"Yes, Anon?"
"There's no food in here for you."
>She blinks.
>"That's fine. I'm not hungry."
>You glance at the clock on the top of Town Hall
"It's 10 after 1:00, you gotta eat something."
>"...well, okay. If you insist," she smiled, putting emphasis on 'you'.
>You split up half of your grilled cheese and give it to her on a napkin.
>And you take your first bite.
>Muncha-muncha
>Okay seriously
>Grilled cheese is one of those personalized foods
>No restaurant is able to make a GOOD Grilled Cheese.
>It's okay at best.
>The BEST Grilled Cheese is either made by your parents or at home.
>Mostly it's the familiarity of family that makes the sandwich good
>This curse is still in place with a Cake Family Grilled Cheese, unfortunately
>But the dynamics of Equestrian food being automatically better than that of Earth made this sandwich pretty good.
"Mmmmmm..."
>You can't help but moan at how good it is
>"Mmmmmmmmmmm..." Twilight mimicks as she ate her half.
"Enjoying it, huh?"
>"MMhmm! (guuulp) I'm glad you shared it with me, Anon!"
>You keep munching on your sandwich
>Ooookay, you can't help but notice Twilight staring at you while eating.
>Not at the sky, not at Fluttershy, you.
>Yeesh, Fluttershy wasn't kidding when she said Twilight had a little crush on you.
>Ooooof, this might not be good
>Princess privilege could ruin your chances with Rarity.
"Is something the matter, Princess?"
>She blinked.
>"O-Oh, nothing. Just, y'know, staring at you, is all."
"Not what I asked. I mean, I noticed, but is there a reason?"
>She blushes furiously.
>"W-Well, yes. I just...kinda think you look nice today."
>She bit into another part of her sandwich.
>Okay you gotta admit.
>Crush-light Sparkle is kiiiinda cute.
>Then she nuzzled up against your arm.
>Okay forget 'kinda', she IS cute.
>You forego scratching her behind the ears. That's a puppy thing, not a pony thing.
>'but it's puppy luv, faget'
>Oh stuff it, Junior
>'but anonnnnnnnn'
>"Am I cute, Anon?"
>W-WELL
>UHH
"Kinda- er, well, maybe- I uhh yes."
>She smiles.
"I mean not as cute as the corgi, but still very cute."
>I mean you weren't gonna lie to her
>But you didn't want to hurt her feelings
>That corgi was great compe-
>ACK
>Now her head was working its way into the palm of your hand.
>You take your hand away, 
"No. Petting is a pet thing, Twilight, not a pony thing."
>You'd never thought you'd see the day that you would say that to a pony.
>"Really?"
"Yeah. And you are not a pet."
>You'd never thought you'd see the day that you would say that to a pony either.
>"Aww..but I'm still cute, right?"
"Yep."
>She nuzzles in your arms.
>Pony is for nuzzling.
>Not for petting.
>Remember that now, Anon.
>You glance at your watch/phone/electric brick
>It's 1:20
>Okay, what's special abou-
>OH SHIT
"Uh, okay, I gotta head out."
>"Why?" asked both ponies.
"Applejack asked me to work with her on the farm today, and I said I'd be over there by 1:30!"
>"Really?" asked Twilight.
"Yes, really. You two have fun with Mr. Huggykins or-"
>"Snugglekins," corrected Flutters.
"Whatever. I gotta go!"
>And with that, you race towards Sweet Apple Acres at a speed that would make former you proud.
>"Where y'all been?"
>God dammit
>It's 1:33 right now
>Fuckin' Appul Pone and her work ethic
"I've been busy."
>"Busy? With whut?"
"Work."
>"Work?"
"Yeah. Got held up by lunch, but that's taken care of."
>"Uh huh..."
"Eeyup."
>She scowled for a moment.
>"Well, so long as yer here. We got a commission ta get cider sent over to Manehattan, and we could mighty use yer help."
>Ah, that would explain the short notice thing.
"Alright-y then."
>She brings you over to the machine.
>It's a literal hamster wheel.
>Not that you mind, hamsters are cute.
>But the wheels aren't.
>"Big Macintosh's on chaperone duty for the Cutie Mark Crusaders today, so he can't run th' wheel today. You on the other hoof..."
>Welp
>Time to get started
>You start running on the wheel like the gerbil you are
>How does the wheel feel?
>You recall the days of playing Super Paper Mario.
>Chapter 2, part 3. You were forced to operate a gerbil wheel to power a mansion over a broken vase
>This was like that, except you were actually running, not controlling a character who ran
>So basically it was fucking tiring.
>At least it worked in turning the apples into cider.
>Pony magic, you swear.
>"YA HOLDIN' UP ALRIGHT, ANON?" called Applejack.
"YEAH! I'M REALLY FEELING IT!" you called back
>She chuckle-snorted
"THOUGH I CAN DEFINITELY SEE WHY BIG MAC DOES THIS INSTEAD OF ME."
>"YER ALRIGHT, ANON! KEEP AT IT!"
"MA'AM YES MA'AM!"
>You keep running. Those apples won't ciderize themselves.
>Applejack turned towards the farm proper, and called out something.
>You couldn't quite hear her.
"WHAAAAT?"
>"AH SAID AH'M HEADIN' OUT TO GIT THE BOTTLES READY! Y'ALL KEEP RUNNIN'!"
"YES MA'AM!"
>Well fuck, she's even got the bottles set up.
>As you run, you wonder how apple cider is considered alcoholic.
>From what you can gather it's just turning apples into juice.
>Is there something in the machine that distills the less savory parts of the apple juice into cider?
>Is there something they put in afterwards?
>You'll have to ask Applejack about it later.
>But you're dead certain it's not-
>"Hiiii Anon!"
>WAUGH PURPLE HORSE-
>You nearly jump at the sound of Twilight's voice.
"WHOA UH- HI TWILIGHT BUSY DOING STUFF CAN'T TALK RIGHT NOW" you call in a bit of a panic
>She noticed the machine you were operating.
>"Anon, why is she having you run around this wheel?"
"WELL REMEMBER WHEN I (GASP) SAID I WAS GONNA (GASP) HELP JACKIE OUT (GASP) TODAY?"
>She frowns
>"Yeah?"
"WELL (GASP) THIS IS HOW I'M (GASP) DOING IT."
>She gasps.
>"ANON! That's horrible!"
>Wait wat
"WELL I MEAN (GASP) I CAN (GASP)-"
>You slow down on the wheel
>Gotta catch your breath
"W-Well I mean Big Mac was-"
>Oh fuck she's not even paying attention to you.
>Turns out Applejack had just returned with the bottles.
>"Shucks, Twilight, didn't expect to see you here today? What can ah-"
>"Jackie, what gives?!" Twilight growls.
>Uh oh
>"...what gives what?" asked Applejack, obviously confused.
>"Why are you doing THIS-" she gestured to you on the wheel. "to him?!"
>Oh no.
>Applejack chuckled.
>"Because he's strong enough t' operate it an'-"
>"WELL I DON'T LIKE IT!" Twilight shouted.
>Welcome to Ponyville, the town that doesn't even.
>At this point, Applejack's no longer smiling.
>"Well ah mean, he's the only-"
>"APPLEJACK YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER THAN TO KEEP ANONYMOUS AS A PACKMULE."
>Twilight mad
>Not the good kind of mad because it can actually get you in trouble.
>"Now see here-"
>"NO, JACKIE, YOU SEE HERE!"
"SHUT UP. BOTH OF YOU."
>Both of them stop talking.
"Okay, look, Twilight. Big Mac is on chaperone duties with the Crusaders, I'm helping operating the machine, and that's fine-"
>She has this look on her face that reveals a lot about her.
>That she fucked up and she's feeling sorry about it.
>Kinda like how you were as a child. Minus being a horse and all that.
>"But-"
"No buts. I'm getting paid for it, and it's not even that difficult. Applejack, as you can see, uhhh.."
>You don't know how to explain it to farm horse.
"I guess Twilight has a bit of an affliction with me right now, if you know what I mean."
>Applejack takes a moment to let that sink in. Then, she smirks.
>"So y'all are datin', am ah right?"
>W-what?
>Twilight smiled.
>"Yes. Yes we are."
>W-WHAT
"UH I MEAN KINDA SORTA NOT REALLY-"
>Applejack laughed. "Ah can tell y'all like each other. Shoot, Anon, ah thought you'd go for Pinkie."
>Oh for fucks sake Applejack.
"N-No, I thought I'd go for-"
>You feel a nuzzle on your arm. Applechuckle intensifies
>You blush.
"W-Well I mean she was on my bed when I woke up."
>"..."
>That Applejack silence.
>Oh GOD NO
>"On yer bed. When y'all woke up."
>Okay
>Applejack demoted to worst pony
"NO!"
>SHIPPERS DESTROY LIVES
>YOU SHOULD KNOW THIS, APPLE HORSE
>"Well I love him, Jackie!" Twilight squees.
>Okay so it's not a secret that Twilight loves you.
>Fuck keeping it a secret.
>"Well ah'm proud, Twilight," Applejack smiled. "Ah'm sure y'all will get along real good."
"Yeah..."
>You hope this doesn't get posted somewhere.
>You already dread the shipping that will occur.
>Okay okay enough bullshit
>You start back on the wheel.
>"Anon!" yelped Twilight.
>Oh.
>Right.
>You are not a packmule.
"Oh come on, Twilight. I'm getting paid for this!"
>You start running.
>Gotta grind dem apples.
>Alright, you've got a good rhythm going!
>Suddenly the wheel starts turning faster.
>Uh
>Apparently Twilight started running WITH you.
"UH HI TWILIGHT WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
>"IF YOU'RE GONNA DO IT, I'M GONNA HELP YOU! NO PONY SHOULD HAVE TO DO THIS ALONE."
>Fuck it, you're too busy running to care.

>Four hours later
>WHEW...
>Fucking A-team effort!
>You and Twilight managed to get all the 'cider' ready.
>Applejack smiled.
>"Ah reckon that's plenty 'o cider for the whole party! Great work, y'all!"
>You gave a very smug grin.
>Twilight gave a very similar grin.
>Smugmind.
>You check your watch.
>Well shit, it's about 5:40!
>You check your stomach.
>Grrrllllll
>'Anonnnnnnn'
>'Feeeed meeeeee'
"Welp, I'm hungry. Gonna grab a bite to eat."
>You start heading towards the nearest place to eat before Applejack sops you.
>"Now wait there jus' a sec. Ah can fix y'all something at the farm if y'all would like."
>Hmmm
"Sure!"
>"Sure!"
>Dinner at Jackie's sounds delicious.

>Let it be known, all throughout the world, that Applejack makes the BEST haysteaks ever.
>That is a FACT.
>Granted you're not a pony and hay is not something you would eat normally
>But god damn it these Ponies make the BEST food
>You munch on your haysteak as Twilight nuzzles in your arms.
>Big Mac had come home with the Cutie Mark Crusaders; no dice on their cutie marks, however.
>He did agree with Applejack that you two were dating.
>Which you totally weren't.
>B-Baka.
>Guuulp!
>Ahhhh, best haysteak ever.
>Hmmm
>Applejack said she was gonna grab seconds, but you didn't want to ask seconds of her.
>She's already TOO hospitable.
>Twilight said she wasn't too hungry.
>Maybe if Twilight's not feeling hungry you can have her leftovers.
>You look down at Twilight's plate.
>...holy smokes she wasn't kidding.
>She had not touched her entire dinner.
"Uh, Twilight?"
>"Yes, Anon?" she smiled.
"Well, I noticed you hadn't eaten your dinner."
>She looked down at her plate.
>"Hm, I haven't, Anon."
>Okay no seriously Starbutt.
"Can you please eat for once? You're starting to worry me."
>Her smile fades for a moment, before reforming into a nod.
>"Yes, Sir."
>W-WHAT?!
>okay Anon, keep your composure
"'Sir'? What's this 'Sir' business about, then?"
>She lost her smile again. It didn't reform as she tried to reason her stance.
>"I'm sorry, am I not allowed to call you that?"
>Okay now she's just screwing with you.
>'lel that's asking for a dickin'
>no shut up boner
>'make me'
"N-No, that's fine. Just, it caught me off guard, that's all."
>Bullshit.
"I mean coming from a Princess of Equestria, that is."
>She sighs.
>"But it just feels...it just feels kind of 'right' calling you 'Sir', Anon."
>Wait she's serious?
>'this is why you listen to me, Anon'
>no fuck you Boner-
>ANONYMOUS. FOCUS.
"I- no. It's kind of -not- alright."
>She tilted her head, as if a dog had been told something confusi-
>NO. No pet talk.
>This is pony.
>Think as if she's a pony.
>'>rape'
>oi, knock it off
"I mean, not to downplay myself here but you're a Princess of Equestria, one of THE most important ponies in the entire world to some. And me? I'm just a regular old jerk."
>...wow, maybe pet talk woulda been better.
>Nahhhh
>"Anon, don't talk about yourself that way..." she said, trying to soothe you.
"I mean, I try to be irregular sometimes, but really, you don't need to think highly of me. You try to have me think of you as a normal pony, I'll ask the same of you. So enough with this 'Sir' business."
>She nods.
>"Alright, Anon.."
>She nuzzled on your shoulder again.
>A fucking dorable.
"You still gotta eat, though."
>She nodded, and said "Yes, Anon."
>You were amazed at how quickly she ate.
>She must've been hungry at that moment.
>You notice a slight purring from the other side of the room.
>Since when did Applejack get a cat?
>You look towards that end.
>It's just Winona lying on top of a dresser.
>At this point you'll have enough wats to power all of Manehattan.
>"Wow, Twilight," you hear Applejack say, "y'all must really be hungry tonight."
>"Thanks, Jackie."
>Great, now Twilight's copying your nickname for Applejack.
>Soon she'll be calling pink horse 'Ponk'.
"Hey, Applejack. Gotta big question."
>"What's the matter, sugarcube?"
>You point towards Winona.
"So what's up with Winona today?"
>She grimaces. "Ah dunno what's gotten into her today? Seems like she decided today she'd be lazy or somethin'. Don't make a lick o' sense if you ask me."
>HMMMMMMMMMMMMM
>IT REALLY FEELS LIKE YOU'RE FORGETTING SOMETHING VERY IMPORTANT FROM YESTERDAY THAT MAY HAVE HAD CONSEQUENCES TODAY.
>...
>Nahhh, now you're just being paranoid.
>Welp, it's about that time.
"I'm gonna head out, Applejack. Got a relatively busy day tomorrow."
>You were gonna head out with Rainbow Dash tomorrow at 8 in the morning to get some jogging in.
>At her request.
>And by request I mean she forced you.
>"Alright, see ya, Non!"
>You put your empty plate up and head out the door.
>"Heyyyy, there's the 'only human in Equestria' I'm looking for."
>Oh great. Top Cunt.
>You peek down. Turns out Spike is with her as well.
>Not surprising considering-
>Oh yeah.
>Almost forgot.
"Hey there, Dashie."
>She smirked.
>"So a little birdie told me you and Twilight had a sleepover last night."
>You scowled.
"If by sleepover you mean I found her on my bed this morning completely by chance, then yes."
>Spike gave a smug grin.
>"So the fire rises, right?"
"Yes, brother, the fire-"
>wait what
>NO.
"WAIT, NO!"
>The dragon and the pegasus give a hearty chuckle.
"Uggghhhh, I got enough teasing from Applejack today, lay off!"
>Spike grins. "Awwww, cheer up, Anon. If you two love each other, that's great news!"
>Blushing does not help your case.
>"Besides," chuckled Rainbow Dash, "maybe she can use this to finally stop being such an intro-birdie."
"Introvert."
>"Same thing."
>You were tempted to lecture her on the difference between an intro-bird and an introvert.
>But you're ass-tired right now.
"You know what, no. I'm headed back home for the night. See you tomorrow, Rainbutt."
>"See you- wait what?"
>You rush home to avoid the butthurt.
>Maaaaan she can be butthurt if you make her.

>You're at home.
>And you're just about done getting ready for bed.
>Got your pajamas and everything.
>KNOCK KNOCK FUCKER IT'S THE FUCKIN' WEAVER
>You answer the door.
>It's actually not the Weaver, it's Twilight.
"Uhhh, hi Twilight?"
>"Hello, Anon."
>Okay you don't even.
>You let her in, because what the fuck else were you supposed to do?
>But you might as well ask.
"What are you doing here this late at night?"
>"Just going with you back to your place."
>Well that doesn't explain anything.
"No I mean, aren't you going back to the castle?"
>"Nah."
>This was adorable at first, but this needs to stop.
"Okay look, Twilight, I understand you like me and all, but you have a huge-ass castle you live in, with a much comfier bed than mine."
>"...no, I think your bed's the comfiest."
>U-Unf.
"I'm serious here."
>"I'm serious too."
>Fucking hell.
>Okay cop-out, Anon, you need the sleep.
"Isn't Spike worried about you?"
>"He already knows I'm with you."
>DAMMIT.
"Do you even have your stuff?"
>"Don't need them now."
>FFFFFFFFFFFFFF
"Twilight, you need to understand, this is likely the second night in a ROW you'll have slept at my place."
>She smiles.
>"Well it's a good place to sleep, Anon~"
>...you know what.
>Fuck it.
"Alright, alright."
>She squeed, and followed you to the bedroom.
>...
>Boner.
>'ya fucker, ya better let me fuck 'er'.
>Contain your spaghetti.
>I'll try.
"Well, at any rate, I'm gonna head to bed. You're welcome to join me, if you want."
>You pomf onto the bed to prove your point.
>She nods, and plops onto the bed as well.
>You turn off the bedlamp, just for nighttime.
>And now...
>ZZZZZZ
>"Anon?"
"Hmmm?"
>"Do you, uh....do you want to..."
"Forgive my bluntness but are you asking if I'd like to have sex with you?"
>She grinned. "Yes!"
>'theres ur answer fuckwad'
"I mean if you're just assuming that's what I want you literally don't have to-"
>"But I want to!"
>well fuck it
"Alright."
>Twilight yelped in surprise as you bring the purple alicorn closer to your body.
>She stared into your eyes for a few seconds, and smiled.
>You could no longer contain it.
>The two of you share a passionate, heart-warming kiss.
>And that kiss evolved into a full-fledged sexual intercourse
>Your dick, uncontained by your pajama pants, started working its way into Twilight's vagina.
>"Eeep!"
"O-Oh! Uhhh"
>Think quickly.
"Did you want me to stop?"
>"No! K-Keep going!"
>You take that as a sign.
>So you start dicking her.
>Your penis thrusting inside of her, bring you pleasure and bringing what seems to be pleasure to Twilight as it penetrates her cunt.
>You try not to blow your load too early.
>Gotta enjoy it while it lasts.
>"Ahhhnnn...Anonnnnn..."
>Now this.
>This is the sound of a lustful Alicorn.
>One that loved you sooooo much she was willing to flirt with you all day just to get your dick inside her.
>You're not sure whether it's what she always wanted but it's incredibly arousing.
>And her mouth.
>She gives an incredible mouth-to-mouth for a pony
>Gotta keep it in as long as possible...
>U-Unf, it's harder than it sounds.
>"Anonnnnnn...mmmff..p-please..."
"Please...what?"
>Her eyes look into yours, almost pleading for relesae.
>"P-Please cummmmm..."
>U-Unnnf.
"H-Hold on.."
>"Pleeeeeeeeeeasee...."
>You can't hold it in.
>Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuckkkkkkkkkkkk
>Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh....
>...
>Fuck that felt good...
>"Hahhhhh...hah..."
>Damn, that tired her out.
>That good dicking tired a princess out.
>You wheeze..
>It tired YOU out as well.
>Better get some sleep.
"Alright, hahhh...Twilight, can you get off of me?"
>She lazily rolls onto the other side of the bed.
"Thanks."
>"You're welcome."
>You slowly drift your eyes to sleep.
>"Anon?"
>Not so fast.
"Hmmm?"
>"A-Am I....Am I a good pony?"
>???
>You're not sure how to fully respond to that.
>...
"Yeah."
>She smiles weakly.
"Get some sleep, Twlight. I gotta be up by 6 tommorow, so alarm clock will bug you by then."
>Her eyes lazily flutter to sleep.
>God damn this pony was adorable.
>You yawn, and your eyes follow suit.
>And as you slowly fade from the world of the awake, you don't even notice Twilight whisper these words.
>"I'm a good pony....thank you, Master..."

>Day breakfast in Equestria
>Still be Anon
>You wake up groggily to the smell of pancakes in the kitchen.
>You look to your side.
>Twilight had already woken up.
>That girl needs to get some sleep sometimes.
>You look towards your clock.
>It's 5:45.
>IT'S NOT EVEN TIME YET.
>FUCK
>...
"Hrnnngh.."
>You slumber out of bed and turn the alarm clock to a preemptive snooze.
>"I'm making breakfast for you, Master!"
>You don't even hear that last part you're too fucking tired.
>So you decide to do your daily routine.
>Shit.
>Shower....
>...
>Ahhhhhhhhh, that felt good.
>After drying off, you get ready to shave
>Dat scraggy look does not look good
>"You done in the shower, Master?"
"Yeah, it's all you-"
>THEN the fact of what she said hit you.
"Master?"
>Uh oh.
>You put off taking a shave to check up on Twilight.
>There she is, in the kitchen, with a god damn collar on.
>Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-
>Errrrrrrrrrrr-
>You don't even-
>Okay, maybe you're imagining this.
>"What's wrong, Master?"
>FUCK you weren't imagining things!
"W-Well, I'm a little surprised. Did you just call me 'Master'?"
>She smiled.
>"Yes, Master. I'm your slave, right? And a slave's gotta address her master as such."
>Holy shit what.
"No, that can't be right. You're a princess, Twilight, not a slave."
>She shook her head.
>"I was told I was a princess. But a princess can't be below Master, so I decided to not BE a princess."
>Fucking CHRIST.
>Okay this was getting out of hand.
>Now this is just borderline freaky.
>...waiiiiit a minute.
"....pfffffffffahahahahahaha!
>You burst out laughing.
>Of fucking course.
>Twilight laughs along with you.
"Ahahahahaha...nice try, Starbutt."
>She cringed as you called her your affectionate nickname.
>"W-what's wrong, Master? Did I do something wrong?"
>Oh she's determined, alright.
"You clever pony. You're messing with me early in the morning, to try and get a prank on me to get me to freak out."
>"I would never do that, Master!"
"Pfft, you're doing it right now, with this whole 'slave' thing!"
>She blinked.
>"Master, I truly AM your slave!"
"Suuuure you are."
>You saw this way before with Rainbow Dash.
>She tried to get you to think one night that she was your eternal slave.
>And you just worked with it, right until she got you in position for the overall prank.
>She was called TOP CUNT for a reason, is what you're saying.
>But NOOOOOOOOOOPE, you're not falling for that again.
>"Master, I WANT to be your slave!"
>She's breaking down. Kek.
>"If you want, I will prove to you that I'm your loyal slave."
>Apex kek
"Heh, alriiight."
>Now what would Twilight, in all her life, NEVER do?
>Hmmmm
>Not '>rape', that's already been done last night.
>How about...
"Stay there for a second."
>"Yes Master."
>Her voice is just so campy that it's unbelievable.
>If you didn't think this was a prank before, it certainly was now.
>You go to grab something from your shelf.
>A dictionary, to be precise.
>Bringing it back over, you call to her.
"See this?"
>She looked up at what you'd brought over.
>"Yes Master. Is that a dictionary?"
"Websters, features a metric ton of words and their definitions at the very least."
>You open the book, and turn it to a random page.
>Section F, why not?
>You point at that page.
"I want you to rip this page out."
>You're 99% certain she's not gonna do it.
>In the 1% you're not certain she's gonna be extremely horrified about-
>"Yes Master," she smiled.
>And you watched in horror as she tore the entire page, without hesitation or fear, out of the book, and cast it aside.
>Holy shit.
>Holy fucking shit.
>No way.
>This was unreal.
"Y-You.."
>"I've ripped the page out, like you've asked, Master."
>This was not Twilight.
>She wasn't kidding.
>Something fucked up.
>And that something looked up at you and squeed.
>"Am I a good pony, Master?"
>W-WHAT
>okay okay.
>Damage control.
>You DON'T want her to be this way, it's creepy and you don't like it
>But you don't want to upset her.
>Uhhh
"Y-yes. You are."
>She grins. "Thank you, Master~"
>You might have made things worse.
"Wait hold on, what made you decide, out of the blue, to make yourself my slave?"
>She pauses for a moment, as if considering how she wanted to answer your question.
>"Well...I had this dream the night before. I couldn't remember it at the time, but now I fully remember what it was."
>Oh, right.
>THAT dream.
>Oh shit so this was a gradual process.
>"It was about how good you made me feel, about how good it would be to become your loyal slave, and how bad being free was. I didn't see it then, and if I did I didn't believe it. But every time I was with you, I started to understand more and more. That letting you decide things for me was exciting, that you complimenting me was the greatest honor, that letting you tell me what I had to do was about the best thing I could achieve in my life."
>Oh shit.
>"And I had that dream again, and THIS time, I fully embraced it. I fully embraced being your slave. Because nothing else is better than obeying my Master."
>Ohhhhhhhhh shit.
>Celestia is gonna kill you if she finds out.
>Maybe she's lenient. Killing is almost unheard of in Equestria.
>Banished to the moon at best.
"S-So...you've been feeling this way for how long?"
>"About a day now, but all I needed was a day. Because with you, Master, with me as your slave, nothing else matters."
>Okay yeah no.
>Now you feel even worse about the teasing Applejack and Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy and all the others did yesterday.
>Now that THIS was why she was acting that way.
"I don't know what happened that made you act this way but-"
>Wait.
>Oh shit.
>OH shit oh shit oh shit-
>"...Master?"
>If this is what you think it is you may have fucked up beyond all redemption.
"Twilight?"
>"Yes, Master?"
>FFFFFFFF
"We're gonna have to go to the castle."
>She tilted her head, probably confused.
>"Isn't this our castle?"
>FUCKS SAKE
"No, the one you live in."
>"So this one, Master."
>FFFFFF
"I'm talking about the one that looks like a tree, Twilight."
>"Ohhhhh. That castle. Yes Master."
>Okay now you just need to cover your ass the whole way.
"But before we head there, I'm gonna have to make a few temporary changes for until we get there."
>"Changes?"
"Yes. For one, you can't call me 'Master'."
>She gasps. "W-What?"
"You sprung this on me without warning, I can't go out in public with the Princess of Equestria calling me her master."
>"But you ARE my Master, and I'm not a Princess, I'm a slave!"
"The others.."
>This was headache inducing.
"The others haven't been made comfortable with that yet. So it's just...we'll have to work with it. But until I say otherwise, do NOT call me 'Master'. Do you understand?"
>"Yes Ma-...Yes, Anon."
>Okay.
>This was gonna be incredibly nerve-racking.
"Second, you can't speak to anyone if they ask you what's going on, because they're not comfortable with your submissive side yet."
>Because they're not comfortable with you being a goddamn slave.
"Third..."
>You reach down to take off her collar...
>...but it's fucking stuck.
"Third...I'll just have to take this..."
>AGAIN IT'S FUCKING STUCK.
"Why is this collar stuck, Twilight?"
>"It's my collar. It's meant to permanently show that I'm your slave, Master."
>UGHHHHHH
>FUCK IT
>You grab a coat from who the fuck knows where.
>A random, shitty-ass coat.
>So long as it covers it up.
"Put this on."
>"Yes, Master."
>She does so, and adjusts her collar so that it's visible.
>Twilight are you fucking serious.
"Twilight, really. Hide the collar."
>"But Master-"
"No buts. Again, we need to make their acceptance...gradual."
>More like not at all.
>You're already in deep shit as it is.
>She reluctantly nods and hides her collar within the coat.
>Okay, you're all good to go.
"Stay there. I'll be back in a second."
>"Yes, Master."
"AND STOP CALLING ME MASTER."
>"Y-Yes Mas- er... Anon!"
>You race to the other room to get your clothes on.
>Some underwear, some pants...a shirt is okay but not needed...
>Now your shoes..
>ALRIGHT!
>You're good to go!
>You race back to the other room.
"Alright, Twilight. Ready?"
>"Yes Mas-"
>you raise your eyebrow.
>"Er....yes, Anon!"
>She gives a weary smile.
>Okay. Anon. Focus.
>You're gonna get this fixed. You're gonna figure out what's going on. You're not gonna let her be your slave.
>You open the front door so she can exit.
>...and somehow Pinkie Pie was waiting for you there.
>"HIIIIIIII, NONNY!"
>AUGH PINK HORSE
"U-UH HI PINKIE PIE YOU'RE HERE WAY EARLY-"
>She smiles and giggles.
>Oh shit she finally got her laughing back!
>"I GOT MY LAUGHING BACK, ANON! I'M SUPER SUPER HAPPY THAT, HEHEHE..THAT I CAN LAUGH AGAIN!"
>YESSSSS THIS WOULD BE GREAT NEWS IF YOU WEREN'T IN THE MIDDLE OF A NATIONAL CRISIS.
"That's great, but uh I gotta run gotta take Twilight back to Friendship Castle, there's something I need to do-"
>You motion Twilight to start running.
>And the two of you bolt.
>RUN
>RUN LIKE YOU'VE JUST GOT DONE TRAINING
>RUN YOU FUCKER
>As you're running, you hear an insane giggling.
>HOLY SHIT PINK HORSE IS FAST
>"WHAT'S WITH ALL THE RUSH, ANON?"
"WELL IT'S KINDA IMPORTANT BUT I CAN'T TALK ABOUT IT RIGHT NOW."
>"WHY NOT? SURELY YOU CAN TALK ABOUT IT WITH YOUR AUNTIE PINKIE?"
"FIRST OF ALL I'M PRETTY SURE MY AUNT WASN'T-"
>"IS PINKIE PIE YOUR AUNT, ANON?" called Twilight.
>FUCKING HELL
"NO!"
>"C'MON, NONNY! CAN'T YOU TELL ME?" pleaded Ponk.
>If there were a time for Ponk to be best horse this was not the time.
"I CAN'T. IT'S KIND OF BULLSHIT, AND I NEED TO DO THIS WITH TWILIGHT ALONE."
>With that, Ponk slowed down a bit.
>You're at the edges of Ponyville.
>You can just see the castle in the distance.
>RUN YOU FUCKER
>You only stop once you're certain you're inside the castle.
>Then you close the door.
>Phew...
>You rest your hand on top of Pinkie's back
"Well that was a good workout.."
>Wait
>Pinkie?
>"Beat you!"
>FUCK
>Okay shit.
>You can't pull your bullshit in front of Ponk
>You don't want to reveal what's going on in front of her
>But she's Pinkie Pie.
>She'll be determined.
>You take a look around.
>Spike apparently just got up, and he's probably wondering 'what the fuck?!'.
>You sigh..
"Alright, Pinkie Pie? Look, I messed up. Can I get you and Spike to Pinkie Promise me not to tell anyone just yet?"
>"Sure! Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!"
>The two of them went through the motions of the Pinkie Promise.
"Okay. So..."
>You take off the coat, revealing the collar.
>Obviously they gasped.
"Remember how Spike was saying we were lovebirds?"
>They nodded.
"Well she was starting to think, for whatever reason, that she was my slave, and...Twilight."
>Twilight looked up at you
"Can you explain just what was going on?"
>She squeed.
>"Yes, Mas- er..."
"The jig is up. You have to explain in full detail."
>She nods and explains everything she told you.
>Once she was done, you elaborate.
>"I think I know why this is happening. Something we did the other night might have-"
>"Uhhh, is it just me," interrupted Spike, "or is Twilight's cutie mark acting up?"
>What
>You look down at Starbutt's cutie mark.
>That is not a Starbutt.
>It's instead pulsating, changing from the star to a collar and chain.
>holy shit
>UHHHH
>Spike and Ponk glared at you.
>"Care to explain, Anon?"
"I was getting to that. Spike, do you still have Twilight's copy of 'Ravendoe's Accursed Book of Horrors'?"
>"Yep."
"Where is it?"
>He leads you, Pinkie, and Twilight upstairs to where it's been left.
>It was there since last night.
>And...uh oh.
>It's glowing.
>Shit, it WAS.
"I need to check a few things."
>"Yes Master."
>Pinkie and Spike cringed.
>You scan the pages to figure out which ones were the glowiest
>'The will to laugh is a will for good, to take that away is to sour the mood.' was glowing a mild orange.
>HEY WAIT
"Okay, I think what happened was this was an ACTUAL spellbook, and we may have inadvertently cast a couple of spells from it."
>"Okay?"
"This includes one that takes the will to laugh away-"
>"HEY! So THAT'S why I couldn't laugh yesterday!"
>Ohhhh boy.
>So the signs were there all along.
>You check the other pages.
>The tie poem was glowing orange..
>Hoo boy
>Forget Celestia killing you, RARITY was gonna do worse to you if she found out.
>The dog and cat poem was orange.
>Well, that explains a lot.
>You skip to the very last page
>The soul poem was glowing a radiant silver, unlike the other pages.
"So THIS," you pointed towards the page so the others could see, "is the main offender."
>You can already imagine the president telling you that "NOW YOU FUCKED UP."
>"So..." Spike gulped, "what do we do?"
"Well first of all, Spike, I'm gonna have to have you send a letter to Princess Celestia."
>"Princess Celestia? She's out of the country meeting with some delegates in South Unicorea."
"Tell her that this is extremely important. She probably knows how to undo the curse; Twilgiht probably knows herself but she's...well.."
>She's nuzzling up against you as you're saying that.
>The fuck, man?
"..y'know. Tell her that I had no idea this was happening and that I specifically didn't know it was a spellbook at the time, and I'm just as shocked as she's gonna be."
>He nods, and gets to writing.
>Meanwhile..
"Pinkie, go round up the others. Each and every one of them. Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Fluttershy, and...(gulp) Rarity."
>She salutes, and rushes out the door to find them.
>"Master?"
>you flinched.
>"Anything I can do to help?"
>Uhhhh
"No, you're fine."
>She smiled.
>"I'm a good pony, right Master?"
>You normally thought these signs of affection would be adorable.
>But not today.
>Not during a national crisis.
"Twilight, look. We're gonna get you fixed, it's gonna be okay, you're not gonna keep thinking you're a slave."
>Her smile faded. "W-What...?"
"I mean it. I like you, you're a good friend, but you are not a slave."
>"M-Master.."
"I'm serious. You can't live your whole life like this. This spell..."
>You sighed.
"This spell's doing something to your mind and body that could ruin both your life and the lives of others. You're the Princess of Friendship, remember?"
>"But I don't care about being a princess. I want to be your slave, Master."
>Don't do this to me.
"Twilight, I-"
>"Master, I WANT you to be my Master. I WANT you to order me to help you with everything, I WANT you to make me feel good..."
>You look down at her flank.
>That collar and chain cutie mark is now much more visible, and is slowly starting to overcome the Star.
>At this point, Twilight's starting to cry. Tears started flowing from her eyes, dripping onto the floor as she pleads with you.
>"I-I WANT you to tell me that I'm a good girl...I-I want to BE your good girl.."
>N-No.
"Twilight. That spell. I can't-"
>FWOOOSH.
>"Aaaaaand sent!"
>Welp, letter's sent to Celestia.
>Twilight could only stare at Spike. Aghast at what he'd done.
>Then she looked at you, with the same horrified expression.
"I'm sorry."
>You hear a LOUD magical surge from outside.
>ohshit
>"Anonymous, please come here. And bring the book with you."
>Yikes, Celestia was FAST.
"C-Coming, Princess."
>You grab the book and walk out the front door.
>Her mane flowed like it always did, but her face.
>She was pissed. You already knew why.
>You closed the door behind you so as to not upset Twilight.
"Look, I did not mean to-"
>"Do you have the book?"
>You give it to her.
>"I'm going to guess you used the LAST spell found in the book, correct?"
>You nod.
"Again, if I'd known it was a spellbook, I wouldn't have used it to begin with."
>"I'd rather you not have touched it. At all."
>Your heart sinks.
>She's extremely pissed.
>"But, I'm very grateful that you and Spike told me in ITS infancy. Perhaps we can kill IT while it's growing."
>IT?
"Wait, hold up, have you dealt with this before?"
>She glares at you.
"Er, if you don't mind me asking."
>She sighed. "Yes, I indeed have. And it's a horrible part of my history that I don't like talking about."
"Then tell me, so we can fix this."
>"...Anonymous, are you at all familiar with the history of Ravendoe?"
"All I know is, he's the dick that wrote this spellbook."
>"You use the term 'dick'. I don't like using that word to describe any pony. However, that term is putting it MILDLY."
>Oh shit
>"Ravendoe was a sorcerer, an Earth Pony who could wield unicorn magic, and created what are among the only spells to be cast by non-magic users. He was an innovator for his time. However, his thirst for power and intellect far outshone his sense of morality, and he started crafting spells, spells that tore away the essence of many. His last spell, this 'Soul Spell', he called it. It was what exposed him for what he was, a monster."
"Soul Spell? That's the one I cast."
>"This spell is a virus. A worm that works its way into the soul of a pony, and feeds them thoughts. Thoughts of obedience towards a master, thoughts of praise from this master, thoughts of being cuddled, being loved, being cared for by this master, who takes the form of the pony who casts this spell. They are comfort food, meant to keep the mind from noticing as the spell strips them of their memories, their thoughts, their emotions, every little thing that made them free, every little detail that made them alive."
>Hooooly shit.
>So it was much worse than you thought.
>"The first time I had to fix this spell, there were a group of three ponies. Ponies who had entered Ravendoe's thrall by force, who'd become subject to this spell. It remained on their mind for weeks, but by the time I'd known, the spell became near permanent. Once I'd learned of what he did, I rushed to where he was, and banished him to a far away place, where he would never see the light of day. Those three ponies...even after I'd restored their memories, they chose to toss all that aside and started calling for their 'Master'. I had to dig three early graves just to let the remnants of their soul pass on...I'm not even sure they did. So I hope you'll forgive my bluntness, but I'd rather you had told me that night."
>Your heart sank.
"S-So...the spell. Is it-"
>"Thankfully, it's not permanent, and it's a very quick cure. And only a day or two into this, so with any luck, there won't be many lingering effects."
>Okay, thank GOD.
>"But I will ask of you this: do not encourage her any further after this curse has lifted."
"Alright."
>With that settled, you enter the room, where Twilight's in a fetal position.
>She looked up at her mentor, and flinched.
>"M-Master, who is this?"
"Twilight, this is Princess Celestia. Your mentor. Don't you remember?"
>She paused for a moment. "N-No..."
>Holy shit how fast did this spell work?!
"Twilight I trust her with all my heart. So I don't want you to worry about her. She's good."
>Twilight reluctantly nodded, and Celestia moved forward, preparing to cast the spell.
>You looked away as she cast it, and when you heard were Twilight's pained screams resulting from it tears formed in your eyes...
>"...it is done."
>You looked back towards the two alicorns.
>Twilight was knocked out. Out fucking cold.
>Her cutie mark had returned to normal.
"So...when is she gonna wake up?"
>"She'll come to, momentarily. Again, I must thank you for being responsible enough to let me know."
>You sigh.
>"TWIIIILIIIIIGHT!" you hear from outside, and what should come bursting in than Rainbow Dash herself.
>She flew in, blurred past you and towards the passed out purple horse.
>"Twilight? You okay?!"
>She didn't respond; you forgot Pinkie had gone to get everyone.
>Then, Blue Fast turned towards you.
>MAAAAAAAAAAN she was pissed
>"What the BUCK, Anon?! WHY did you-"
>"Rainbow Dash," Celestia scolded, "it's been taken care of. I've already scolded him enough...and I'm just as dampened by this as him."
>"...o-oh. Okay."
>Soon, the others started walking in, and you explained, in greater detail, what had happened.
>Yes, including the other spells.
>They were understandably upset by what you'd did, but at least they understood it was an accident.
>Rarity did thump you for casting the 'ties and knots' poem.
>"Anonymous."
>You looked up at Celestia. Shit wasn't over yet.
"Yeah?"
>"I want you to do me a favor," here she handed you the book, the very horror that had caused this mess. "and burn this book."
>You nod.
"Wait, why me?"
>"When she wakes up, she will no doubt have lingering effects. You have to sever your ties with her, so it has to be you."
>You sighed.
>Celestia, you're making things harder than it needs to be.
>"Urrgghhhh...."
>Well, Twilight's waking up.
>You look back over there, to see what's going on.
>"W..where am I?...where.."
>Then she gasped, as every memory that she had and will continue to have flew back into her.
>"No...."
>"Twilight, you're awake!" gasped Pinkie Pie.
>The purple alicorn looked at her pink friend. "P-Pinkie..."
>"Glad to see you're back," Rainbow smirked. "You kinda...took a little vacation."
>"Vacation from rational thought, might ah add," deadpanned Applejack. "But the good news is, yer safe!"
>"W-Well...I'm sorry to hear a-about what you went though," Fluttershy cried. "B-But you don't need to worry now.."
>Twilight looked all across the faces of her friends.
>But you noticed she didn't have the comfortable expression
>"Applejack, Rainbow Dash...Fluttershy, Rarity. T-Thanks for...thanks for being here."
>"Darling, is there anything we can do for you?"
>She weakly pointed past her friends.
>At you.
>Oh boy.
"U-Uh, hi Twilight."
>"G-Good morning, Master."
>Uh oh.
>This must be the 'lingering effects' Celestia was talking about.
"No. Not 'Master'. Anon."
>"Mast...Anon."
>You held the book in your hand.
>"Anon, a-are you okay?"
>You shake your head.
"No, I'm not. I've done you wrong, Princess."
>God dammit you were not ready for these feels.
"I'm really sorry about what I've done. And...I dunno if you'll ever forgive me, but I don't think I can forgive myself. Just, stay strong, Princess Twilight."
>You get up to go ahead and start the fire in the fireplace.
>"A-Anon, please...please.."
"...please what?"
>"Please tell me I'm a good pony."
>F-Fucking hell
>"T-Tell me how much of a good pony I am, because...because-"
>"Twilight," scowled Celestia.
>This sudden intrusion made Twilight jump, and she nearly cowered at Celestia's regal appearance.
>"He's not your master. You are Twilight Sparkle, the Princess of Friendship."
>"N-No! You're wrong, Anon IS my Master, he's here to-"
"No. I'm not," you say with a stern voice.
>Twilight looked up at you. A face of horror could be seen on her face.
"I can't in good conscience be your Master. I'm just...Anon."
>You look towards the fireplace.
"And I'm very sorry."
>Tears flowed from her eyes as you held the book in her hand.
>She knew what you were about to do.
>"N-No! Anon, the thing you read last night! Y-You have to read it! You have to make me a good-"
>You felt a magical aura surround the book.
"No!"
>Without thinking you throw the damned piece of binding and paper into the fire.
>Twilight was dead-silent as the accursed book of horrors burned to ashes.

To Be Continued...














Golden ending
Anon: The books magical energy releases and spreads to every pony in ponyville as it was destroyed in the fire. Anon now has an army of mares who bow to his every whim and he lived happily ever after.
Next: http://pastebin.com/N1CstDGU