>prince anon has a crush on raven.
>raven is of two sides, on the one hoof this is her bosses son and its probably just based on the fact she's the most prominent and supportive female in his life that isnt his mother.
>on the other hoof, he's very good natured and also happily lets her indulge in her coltish desire to play dress up with his wardrobe for both day to day and formal functions.
The time he tried on a copy of her outfit and accidently gave her a particular look over the rim of the glasses is burned into her memory
>celestia just thinks the whole thing is adorable and teases them both about it.






>Twilight takes Anon's flirting a little too literally, is happy to help him find a relevant book when he says he wants to study interspecies relationships.
>Pinkie starts checking through her recipe book for a good one when Anon talks about putting a bun in the oven.
>Rainbow is convinced that Anon is just joking around and acting like 'one of the gals' and couldn't possibly actually be interested in her, that's just preposterous. He can't possibly know what it means to touch her wings like that, he's just trying to help out like a good friend.
>AJ thinks he's just tuckered out from a hard day's work, and is just trying to be helpful when he offers his leg as a pillow under the shade of a tree







>"Okay, these are the controls"
"Uh..."
>You are Anon, and horse-human language is weird.
>It's spoken pretty much the same as English is, only it has a few words that only exist in this world, and one or two grammar rules are different.
>You can handle that.
>You gotta figure out how to use "Flink-blop" in casual conversation, sure, but it's doable.
>But the written language is garbage.
>It's bullshit.
>Imagine if the Finish tried to write English after staring blankly at a few English books, and then they handed it over to to the Germans.
>The Germans added a bunch of gendered words, and then they handed it over to the French.
>The French went "fuck it" and just flipped everything left-to-right.
>That's human-horse written language.
>You are Anon, and you are staring at a TV screen full of GIBBERISH.
>Sunset, meanwhile just rolls her eyes at you and smiles fondly.
>It's the sort of smile that shows that she's enjoying spending time with you, even if she has to be patient and explain things to you.
>It's the smile that means she likes all of you, not just part of you.
>"Alright, up-up."
>She makes a "up and at'em" gesture with her hands, and you stand up from the couch, controller still in hand.
>Sunset slides over to where you were sitting and spreads her legs wide.
>"Sit back down, big guy."
>You hesitantly sit back down between her legs, but you don't lean back.
>The women here might be built more solidly than the ones back home, but you don't want to ruin this moment by knocking the wind out of her.
>After a moment, Sunset wraps her legs around your waist, wraps her arms around your middle, and rests her chin on your shoulder.
>She rests her hands over your own, and guides your fingers to the different buttons.
>"This is the jump button. And this one is the sprint button. And this one..."
>You are Anon, and you're in for a very cozy vidya session.
>Especially when she starts nuzzling your neck and planting kisses on it when you start doing well.






>Her chat realizes before she can.
>It's like the 'Trump Can't Read' meme but it is a LOT sadder.
>To them.
>To anon, it's just annoying. Maybe he can get away with saying he's foreign?

>Sunset realizes that Anon can't read on-stream while she's playing with him, thanks to a few words from chat
>The look of shock on her face is heart-breaking
>Chat explodes with sentiments of support and links to language centers in her city
>Sunset feels like a failure for never finding out before now

>Anon actually just needs glasses, but he's too much of a stubborn asshole to admit it
>The reason he's seemingly literate is because he's can't see the words very well
>Chat notices the squinting, but they decide to fuck with Sunset
>"Sunny, I think your bf can't read"
>Sunset decides to test this and asks him to read something for her
>He doesn't want to look like a squinting asshole in front of her and the stream, so he makes an excuse not to read it
>The look of shock and concern on her face is priceless
>"Oh my god, my boyfriend can't read."
>Chat's fucking dying





>"W-Welcome to Twilight's Fetish Fun."
>"Today--hmm~ Today we're going to be doing something a little different."
>"As you all know--squeeze these tits harder, hon--it's No Jill July."
>"I can't--oh fucccccck--masterbate, just like a lot of you."
>"Today I want to see if there's a way to work around it."
>"Not by having sex, even though I'd like to bounce on my boyfriends big dick, but by other means."
>"I've researched--oh, you're asking for it, Anon. Oh you're asking for it--some interesting methods."
>"The first I'd like to try is musk play."
>"Apparently, having a young, hung stud rubbing and slapping his dick against your face can drive some girls over the edge."
>"Lets see if that theory is sound, shall we?"

>tfw while lewd, Twilight does have a lot of informational videos about sex
>From step-by-step guides to even things about protection and even hygiene
>Sometimes there's not even lewd, just Twi standing in front of a chalkboard or her naked boyfriend, pointing stuff out
>tfw it actually helps a lot of young girls dipping their toes into lewdness practice safe sex
>tfw her channel is a top viewer on Horse Hub
>tfw her mom is so very fucking proud






>For the longest time, the Cult of Ponthulu thought they'd never be able to summon their dark lord into the mortal realm.
>After all, the ritual to do so required a live human sacrifice, and just where in the world were they supposed to get one of those?
>Ponyville, apparently, as one of their loyal members report.
>Thus how Anon found himself tied down to a stone slab, limbs splayed and heaving chest bared.
>Panicked gaze flitting from one robed pony to the next, he begged and pleaded for his life, though it did not carry over the droning chants of the Cult.
>"Now, my fellows! It is finally time to welcome our great lord, Ponthulu to our world so that she might usher in a new world order! Each of us shall no doubt hold a position of power under her reign!"
>"Ponthulu Be Praised!"
>"Sister Pie, since it was you who secured for us the legendary human that has made this glorious event possible, you shall have the honor of draining his blood for the ritual."
>"Oh, ah, Okey-dokey!"
>The pink mare adjusts her hood before stepping forward and accepting the knife, moving to stand over Anon's prone form.
"Pinkie! You can't do this! We're friends!" Anon begs. "I shared my mother's snicker doodle recipe with you! Does that mean nothing?"
>"I'm really sorry, Nonners, but I gotta do this for Ponthulu," she says sadly. "I'm one of her chosen followers, blessed with her power just like Granny Pie before me."
>She holds the knife high, eyes squeezed shut as Anon starts hyper-ventilating.
>Blade gripped in both hooves, it stays there, shaking.
>"Sister Pie? What are you doing? Spill the human's blood already!"
>"Yeah, I haven't got all night!" A voice calls from the crowd. "I've got to be back in Manehatten by morning to open the boutique!"
>Pinkie bites her lip and grinds her teeth.
>Finally, she deflates with a sigh.
>"I'm sorry, Moondancer. I just can't do it. He's a colt! And even though Granny told me to always walk the path of Ponthulu, she also told me never to hit a colt!"
>"Blasphemous! Ponthulu will surely punish you for this!"
>The unicorn yanks the dagger from Pinkie's grip and bumps her out of the way.
>"I'll do it, then!" Levitating the blade high, she stares coldly down at the human, who whimpers, lower lip quivering.
>Tears form in his eyes.
>Her stony expression falters.
>"Um, on second thought. Why should I hog the glory for myself?" Moondancer starts, eying the crowed with forced dignity. "I'm a generous leader. Surely there is one among you eager for the honor of beginning the ritual."
>There's a lot of shuffling hooves and mumbling.
>"Come on, who wants to cement themselves in Ponthulu's good graces for all eternity? Fathomless riches? Limitless power? It could all be yours, and all you have to do is kill this... this colt."
>None step forward for several long seconds.
>Then Pinkie moves.
>"You've changed your mind?!" Moondancer asks.
>The pink mare shakes her head and scuffs the dirt with a hoof.
>"Um, no. It's just... if no pony is gonna cut Anon's heart out and feed it to the nether flames... Can I just untie him and take him back to his place? I mean, we were gonna have a movie night before I drugged him with that cupcake."
>"Oh? A human movie? What are those like?" a voice from the crowd asks.
>"Yeah? Does he got any good ones?"
>"Probably just a bunch of colty romance stuff... C-can I come watch it with you two?"
>"Hey! I want to see the movie, too!"
>"We're gonna need popcorn!"
>"Movie night at Anon's house!"
>And thus, Anon found himself sitting on his living room couch, a dozen robed mares surrounding him on all sides as they watch Treasure Planet, his fingers idly running through Pinkie's mane as they all enjoy the film.
>Even Moondancer, who was acting like a grump, couldn't help but watch the screen in awe

>In the Space Between Spaces, a giant green hoof smacks into a crystal orb showing this.
>"Curses! It was so close to being mine!" screams the tentacle faced mare. "I almost had that human dick!"






>Anon was well involved in the supernatural world back home, so Equestria doesn't rattle him much.
>Kinda nice in fact. Now if only these little horses weren't so sexist and blind to how he can defend himself.
>No matter how much he tells them he's taken and just waiting for his "mare" to show up, the never believe him. "What mare would leave her stallion alone so long?" They ask.
>But he DID leave someone back home, someone furious that random magic of all things took what belongs to them.
>Who did he leave? An ageless cosmic horror that Anon was brave enough to give the D.
>It takes time, but the void-borne who bonded to the human who interested it so builds power and rips the fabric of space, jumping to Equestria.
>It did not discover love just to have it suddenly ripped away.
>Tracking it's human will take time in such a magic saturated land, so the shadowy elder god assumes the form of a mare after confirming that they are female.
>It, or rather she (her human is fond of referring to her as female even in her normal form, so female she shall be) slowly triangulates her human to a town called Ponyville.
>Naturally, the human and disguised elder god are thrilled to be reunited, throwing everyone for a loop since he really did have a mare on the way. The few with the teats to still try him are quickly sent scampering like fillies by the mystery mare.
>But in Twilight, the new """mare""" makes her Alicorn Evil Sense™ go haywire. It's way worse than Discord, Chrysalis, or even Tirek.
>But like many times before, no one believes her that the mare courting the human is a demon in disguise, writing her fear off as jealousy.
>But unlike before, this is the one time her fear is largly unfounded.
>And so goddess of magic and god of dark butt heads over exotic dick.







>Ponies do not normally communicate through song or consider music to be literal interpretations of how the singer is feeling, because then the music industry just plain wouldn't exist, and that would be dumb
>...except for l-lewd things
>Ponies are only fertile a few weeks during the spring, and unicorns are fertile even less than that
>The trade-off for magic is a bitch sometimes.
>So, to ponies (and ESPECIALLY unicorns), sex really is sacred
>And since songs are a cultural phenomena, where ponies in the street will break into song and dance, singing about sex is considered very intimate
>It's done with the understanding that it's meant for a specific target, and that those who hear it are the ones who are meant to hear it
>So when you end up singing something l-lewd in the shower and Twilight overhears it, she is understandably flustered about it
>You wonder why she's a bit more touchy-feely than usual, but you're not going to complain when Twilight begins to sit in your lap or drape herself over you when you lie down






>there's a difference between music and singing to ponies
>music is something you do with instruments to make a pretty sound
>singing is when you're just so filled up with a emotion that it comes pouring out of your mouth in a melody
>Anon's ipod is like finding a species out there who are emotional voyeurs and want to listen in to the lewdest heart songs imaginable






>Waifu has nightmares of having to chase off a bunch of sheath-sniffing mares from her multiple precious innocent colts

>Luna has nightmares about protecting not only her many precious little angels, but also defending the honor of the royal house from the degenerate nobility that would like nothing more than to corrupt (you)r children into tools to be used against their family
>threatens to relapse into Nightmare Moon, but not due to a lack of attention
>rather, she wants the power that came with it
>it's sweet temptations are whispering in her ear about how no one would dare sully the honor of her sons if she just gave in
>and worst of all, it's starting to sound like a pretty good idea





>After Anon convinces the ponice that he did indeed not know potatoes were poisonous, showing that he could even eat them himself, much to their worry, and his marefriend agreed not to press charges, he was free of the attempted murder charge.
>And as long as he gave a list of names of all the vendors he went through to get the poison, he wouldn't face charges for purchasing and possessing potatoes without a permit.
>All that was settled two days later, and he went back to the hospital to see the mare he had nearly killed.
>When he first stepped through the door, it took him a solid minute to look at the form on the bed restfully sleeping.
>Instead, he took time to look around the room and all the gifts that had already been sent in.
>Cheerilee's students really loved her, and it made his heart ache to see how his actions hurt more than just the mare of his dreams.
>He steps closer to the bed, and sees a large card bigger than his head propped open on the nightstand.
>It's covered in too much glitter and decorations to be anything but tacky, but the names of every foal in her class, as well as some of the older fillies and colts who had recently moved passed her class made it heart warming.
>"I really do have the best students, don't I?" a tired voice asks, getting Anon to jump a little.
>He looks over with wide-eyes at the gentle expression of the teacher, face appearing slightly gaunt and with large bags under her eyes.
>Looking at her makes him both sick for what he had done, and happy to see her conscious after he nearly ensured she'd never be awake again.
"Cheery..." he breathes.
>"Hello, Anon. How have you been?"
>He can't help but snort at that.
"Me? Fine. Not in jail for after what I did to you... I'm so sorry."
>She shakes her head and reaches out.
>"Oh, don't be like that," she says, waving him closer. "It was an accident, right? We all makes mistakes."
"Not ones that nearly get ponies killed," he mumbles, as he kneels and holds her hoof.
"You'd be surprised," she answers. "But we poneis are made of tougher stuff. Especially us earth ponies."
>She puffs her chest out some and tries to look tough.
>"It'll take more than some cheesy root vegatables to take this mare down."
>She only holds the serious expression for a few seconds before they both crack a smile and laugh.
"Still," he continues. "I should have looked into it, especially after all the hoops I had to jump through to get the damned things."
>He sighs tiredly.
"I had blinders on, only caring about impressing your with my cooking. I was stupid."
>"But you've learned something, right?" she questions, patting his hand with her other hoof. "Learning from our mistakes is important."
>"I'm not exactly one of your little students, Cheery," he replies.
>"You don't stop learning just becuase you arne't in a classroom anymore," she says seriously, expression firm before lightening again. "And besides, as far as impressing me with your cooking, consider your grade an A+ there."
"Excuse me?"
>"I had no idea poison could be made to be so tasty. That has to take some real culinary skills."
>Anon sniffs, eyes going teary.
>then his arms are around her, and he's crying into her shoulder.
"I'm so sorry, Cheeriliee. You're so wonderful. You deserve better than a idiot like me."
>"Agree to disagree," she says quitetly as she returns the hug.
>After a few minutes, Anon pulls back wipes at his eyes.
>SHe dabs at the corner of hers and smiles at him.
>"So... doctors say I'll be good to go tomorrow. They've had me on a diet of broth and crackers while I recovered, and I can't wait for some real food."
"I don't think I'm ready to try cooking again," Anon says. "How about dinner at that restaurant you like?"
>"That sounds wonderful."
>They both smile and go quiet, merely enjoying each other's company for the next ten minutes before a group of fillies and colts show up to visit their teacher.
>When they see Anon, there's a way cry, and he's buried in foals.

>Anon and Cheerilee sit at the table set outside the restaurant, trying to enjoy the nice weather and each other's company.
>Cheerilee still looks tired, the walk here having taken more out of her than she'd like to admit.
>Meanwhile, Anon is trying to use a fork to scratch at a spot beneath his wrist cast, his skin still littered with bruises in the shape of foal bites.
>Cheerilee and some nurses acted as fast as they could to save the human, but a pack of twelve angry foals can do a lot of damage in sixty seconds.
>"Beautiful day," Cheerilee mentions, getting Anon to look up.
"Oh, ah, yeah, definitely. Rainbow and her team really outdid themselves."
>"They did," Cheerilee agrees with a nod, smiling and doing her best not to look over at the rustling bush as young voices whispered back and forth.
>Anon does his best to pretend not to notice the glint of sunlight off of the binocular lens pointed at him.
>He places the fork down and fidgets with his silverware.
>When he goes to straighten the butter knife, and rustling and whispers pick up, and his hand quickly moves away from the dull instrument.
>They'd ask the little ones to leave after ensuring that Anon wasn't dangerous, but they wouldn't hear any of it.
>They were at the hospital that morning to escort Cheerilee home when Anon arrived, and it was all he could do to convince them not to go for a round two on him and let him walk with them.
>And so the couple decided it was better to merely let the foals think they were unnoticed and see that Anon meant no harm to their teacher.
>The food arrives, and the waiter places their dishes in front of each of them.
>A bowl of tomato soup and a grilled cheese for Anon, and a large, fresh berry salad for Cheerilee with a tall glass of lemon iced tea on the side.
>Cheerilee licks her lips and grabs a fork in her hoof, ready to dive into the first real meal she's had in days, but is halted by a young voice.
>"WAIT!"
>Suddenly, some of her students come running out of the bush, green paints sloppily smeared on their faces and leaves laced into their manes.
>"We have ta taste test your food for poison!" one calls, scrambling up onto a chair another had pushed over with his head. "It could be poisoned!"
>"Wha-? But Anon didn't even make this!" Cheerilee tries to argue even as the fork is snatched from her grasp.
>"He could have used his coltish charm to convince the cook to slip it in!" A filly accuses up at Anon, who has his hands held up in a placating gesture.
"I really didn't..." he tries, but clamps his mouth shut when a different foal growls at him, barring her teeth.
>Pony bites hurt.
>The filly with one front hoof propped up on the table stabs a forkful of leafy greens up and into her mouth, chewing loudly before taking several more bites to make sure she got some of everything.
>Dropping the fork and wiping her lips, she leans far and hooks Cheerilee's glass, pulling it over for a deep gulp.
>Placing it down, she burps and smacks her lips a few times.
>"Hmm... I didn't taste any poison," she says, looking at Anon suspiciously. "Okay, I don't think he tried anything. Come on gals-"
>"Ahem..."
>"And colt, back to the stakeout!"
>The foals retreat as fast as they came, leaving the couple to stare after them, then down at Cheerilee's meal, a third now missing.
>She sighs dejectedly, and Anon looks at his own food.
"You want half of my sandwich?"
>"Well, if you wouldn't mind, I am still pretty hung-"
>"WAIT!"





>Anon doesn't have dinner on the table when his herd gets home from work
>Cue non-consensual cuddle session and a boop-circle
>Anon falls asleep in a pile of warm ponies, and his herd feels terrible for what they did to Anon
>The next day, Anon receives various guilty gifts from his mares
>"Cuddles AND a box of chocolates? Everything's coming up Anon!"

>Cadance noticed how much punishment Anon can take without complaining
>she decides to do her duty as Princess of Love and matches him up with the most abusive mares in Equestria to keep them contained
>she'd feel guilty but Anon seems to be having the time of his life

>Anon has a friend and his herd over for dinner when, to their shock, he boops one of his mares in front of the entire table
>She hadn't done anything but make a harmless joke, and yet he held his second hoof spider to her nose for a full second before retracting it
>The unstallionlike behavior would be appalling if the level of brutality hadn't rendered them unable to think
>They can only watch in horror as the mare in question slaps Anon's arm away and latches around his neck to force a hug out of him
>She delivers six rapid-fire boops to his nose before pressing her muzzle to his and forcing him to share breath with her, all while Anon, disturbingly, giggles like a schoolcolt
>The rest of Anon's mares, rather than stop the violence unfolding before them, are attempting to look anywhere except at the two as if nothing was happening
>Anon's friend and his herd spend the rest of dinner in awkward silence, quickly finishing their meal and making up an excuse to leave early
>They immediately find the nearest Cadenzan priestess and report the mutual abuse so that the herd may work out their troubles before it becomes worse





>RGREqg, but Canterlot high is a horse-christian private school
>through authorial fiat, horse-mormon Sunset ends up there too
>somehow this doesn't come up at all during morning prayers or something like that
>no-hooves m6 all have their eyes on (you)
>they all know this and, unspokenly, decide that they're all going to marry (you), like horse-god intended
>things go as planned for the most part, with only handholding being the most extreme occurence
>however, things go awry when Sunset ditches the plan and proposes to (you), and (you) say yes
>the others feel distraught and betrayed, they were planning on going to horse-heaven with (you), all eight of you arm in arm!
>no, clearly this is a test from horse-god
>they must convert (you) and Sunset and make you realize the error of your ways before this degenerate pagan monogamous wedding can go through!

>"Honey, the heathens are at the door again. Get my gun!"
"They're your friends, Sunny."
>"...Yeah. Well, in that case, get the bb gun. I'm driving them off!"
"The one that shoots plastic or metal balls?"
>"Metal. Pinkie stole my chicken sandwich the other day at lunch and this is gonna be payback."


>horse-catholic Fluttershy getting too excited on her first date with you
>now she has to make an honest man of you and get married
>not exactly a bad thing, seeing as that was the plan all along
>she just hopes the other girls aren't too angry that she couldn't control herself and defiled you before your wedding day
>and let's just say a shy girl like her's not exactly eager to meet your parents, inlcuding your many gun polishing moms






>Yu-gi-oh rgreqg
>Anon avoids the autistic call of the cards out of fear of being involved in stereotypical anime shenanigans
>he makes friends with the main 7 but stays out of the spotlight
>eventually Anon is forced to duel
>Anon uses meta techniques
No one goes woah
>people treat it more like he committed a war crime
>Anon is snatched up by the government to be tested on/ used as a weapon to fight pone-isis
>main 7 have to go save their husbando before his fragile male spirit is shattered by the horrors of card wars






>Anon wants to go on a date with Zecora
>But he hasn't had a moment to colt himself up in months
>Zigglet pack decides to try and help their father woo over the Everfree Rhymesayer
>Ziggy tries to write a love song that Anon can sing to Zecora to confess his love
>Zsa Zsa, the coltish filly that she is, tries to help Anon put together an outfit for him. But first, she needs to do the laundry.
>Zulu, the eldest sibling, is a marely mare who enlists Zara and Zak to scope out Zecora and make sure she'll be a good mare for her father.
>Zarathushtra is a months-old filly, so she can't directly help out Anon
>She's an incredibly intelligent filly, though, and tries to help Anon win Zecora over by showing off his foal-chasing legs
>something something not RGRE enough






>Anon has glasses
>He's fucking blind without them
>Actually blind
>As in, the information his eyes are sending to his brain is pretty much useless to him
"Oh, neat, I see a bunch of moving out-of-focus green things. I guess those are trees, but I only know that because I just walked outside and then took off my glasses."
>Fucks off into Equestria
>Loses his glasses
>Can't find them because everything 6 inches away from his face is just a blur
"I'm never finding those again, am I? They could be 3 feet to my left and I'll never know."
>Wanders into town by following what he's reasonably sure is a dirt path
>"Well, it's square boxes, so I'm not in the forest any more."
>A bunch of weird color blobs are moving around
>He can hear people talking, so he knows he's not alone
"Hello? Can anyone help me? I'm los-I lost my glasses and I can't see a thing. Can someone tell me where I am? Please?"
>The colour blob things surround him
>"What is that thing?"
>>"Oh, is he lost?"
>>>"Maybe we should go get Twilight!"
>>>>"D'aww, look at him! He's got cute little foal eyes! I wanna hug him!"
>Anon can see that the blobs are four-legged creatures
>...and that's it
"Did somebody paint their dogs? Why would they DO that?"
>"D-Did he say dogs?! Does he see diamond dogs?!"
>>"Daisy, calm down!"
>"DON'T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN LYRA WHAT IF WE'RE ABOUT TO BE BESET UPON BY A BUNCH OF MUTTS"
>Eventually, Anon realizes that nobody is playing a prank on him, and nobody is hiding while pretending their dogs are talking
>Twilight volunteers to house and take care of him
>Anon just wants to get a new pair of glasses
>Unfortunately, Ponyville is too small a town to have a dedicated optometrist
>On top of that, ponies rarely need their vision corrected in a way that isn't just casting a spell on them
>And Twilight is enjoying the idea of a cute guy relying on her.
>The way he rests his hand on her head so that he won't get lost makes her kokoro go doki doki, and she doesn't want this to stop






>Anon cooks naked in his house because comfy
>Doesn't use too much oil, but wears that apron one of his stallion friends gave him just in case
>Frilly as hell, but actually sized for him and supposedly completely functional too
>He almsot feels like he could defuse bombs in it
>Just having a gay old time
>Unbeknownst to him, a filly watches from a nearby window
>Absolutely believes that he knows she's there, but is just teasing her
>Nearly loses conciousness in arousal when Anon bends over to pick something up






> Starlight Glimmer does it again
> This time, she accidentally shunts her O&O group into the parallel reality that is their current campaign 
> Luckily, it was during some downtime, so they don't have to immediately defend themselves
> So while Starlight tried to figure out how to get back, the party enjoys the company of the butlers they hired to maintain their base
> It's a once in a lifetime opportunity to be groomed and pampered by real hyumins, and the butlers are more than happy to comply
> Anon, Glimmer's personal butler, is feeling left out
> He doesn't distract her from her work, he well knows not to disrupt the concentration of a working mage
> But he does hover just in her peripheral vision, brush held in delicate fingers, cheeks pink with anticipation and desire
> Starlight is sweating 
> There is a very real possibility that if she takes a break, she will absolutely melt in his hands
> The GM made him entirely out of her fetishes
> Long legs
> Devoted, yet professional butler
> Visible bulge in his pants that shifts with every step
> Toned musclecolt that can overpower her physically
> Prone to bouts of orchisteria, which her character usually cures by giving him a good magicjob





> Complete manlet Anon in RGRE
> Tired of being called cute and receiving condescending headpats
> Starts a Ewetube channel
> Gets drunk and sings songs for videos, using some shota drawing for the picture 
> Mares worry they are on a horse FBI watch list for listening to an obviously drunk and underage colt
> Horse FBI agents have already investigated him
> A team of agents are currently formulating strategies to court the troubled Anon





>Anon works in the castle, under Raven
>Raven has a daughter from a previous marriage, which ended shortly after her daughter's birth when her husband tragically passed away
>Raven knows she works long hours and that putting her little filly in daycare would mean spending very very little time with her, so she received Celestia's permission to bring her daughter to work with her
>Anon is on unofficial filly-watching duty when Raven has to go to private meetings that she can't bring her daughter with her
>She pretends to be like her mommy and "orders" Anon to go get juice boxes for her
>Anon usually spends his breaks chatting with Raven about what her daughter got up to while she was away
>Daughter begins to see Anon as a father figure
>Something something RGRE
>Something something parent trap
>Something something Raven's daughteru goes to Celestia to help






>RGREqG
>Anon's tossed into high school girl world post-BoTB
>Temporarily de-aged, etc etc.
>He's overcome by the urge to listen to terrible emo music and feels an odd compulsion to explain to authority figures around him that it's not a PHASE, mom!
>The Sirens have been (at least temporarily) humbled by their defeat, and Anon thinks they're pretty chill
>He know he's going to be going back to proper Equestria in a number of months, so he's not too concerned with what he does in this horse-human world
>...except for the matter that he has no home
>He pulls a Shimmer at first, living in the gym (in a room that Celestia has unofficially re-purposed to be used as a temporary bedroom by teenaged vagabonds)
>Anon's willing to put up with the Sirens, which is something just about zero of the other students are willing to do
>In short, they become surprisingly good friends
>tl;dr they invite Anon to live with them
>They have money and a house, and Anon has neither of those things
>But once Anon moves in with them, the dynamic changes
>Aria seems almost outraged that Anon believes that he's on equal footing with her, because she remembers the days at sea when she and her pack had first pick of whichever mate they wanted
>She expects food to be made, messes to be cleaned, and is secretly impressed at how much booze Anon can put away
>Adagio tries to change and live in the present, but this mostly means she takes on the attitude of a business man from the 1950s or 1940s who has to let women work in his store for the first time
>She's confused, doesn't quite understand how to treat Anon, is firm and acts with the authority of the leader of her pack despite Anon not belonging to it, but she's trying
>Sonata is just pleased to have a new friend, and quickly decides that Anon is too pure for this dyke earth.
>They plan to to back to Equestria together
>Things are going smoothly until the humane 6 suspect that they're mistreating him, and decide to do something about it

>Rarity huffs and stuff her Yu-Gi-Oh hards back into her pocket.
>"I was more than willing to accommodate Anonymous in my home. I'm sure I would have been able to convince my father and mother to allow him to sleep in our guest room, but..."
>She crosses her arms and glares off to the side.
>"...Sweetie Belle told me that that wouldn't be appropriate because I hardly knew him."
>Rarity sighs and lets her arms slide back down to her sides, and her shoulders slump.
>"It appears I have trodden clumsily over yet another social convention that doesn't make any sense at all. The poor darling is without food and shelter, but apparently he would have felt uncomfortable if I offered both."

>For the last few weeks the Humans 6 are suspicious about Anon’s situation with the sirens
>Anon always denies every insinuation or accusation of abuse, but that did little to reduce Sunset and crew suspicions
>They finally hit the last straw when Anon appear with a sprained ankle and some bruises on his arm
>He told the girls that he only trip on the stairs and fell over
>None of them believed him
>Hamane 6 go to the Dazzlings house to confront them and rescue Anon
>Entering the house they are met by the three sirens and a anon wearing an apron and holding a plate of cookies
>Rarity pulls a Yu-Gi-Oh deck and challenge the Dazzlings to a match over Anon custody
>The rest of the humane 6 facepalms
>Sonata pulls a deck of her own and accept, bumping up the challenge to a proper shadow game
>The rest of the Dazzlings facepalms

>At first, it's embarrassing
>It's two teen girls (or one teen girl and one near immortal siren) shouting at each other as though they're in intense battle... as they play a children's card game
>But then it gets interesting
>They both sound legitimately excited about it, and soon enough everyone is gathered around them, watching with baited breath
>It's like you're a kid again, watching that shitty anime show

>the sheer power of Spergity and Sonata's combined autism channels their magic into the card game
>illusionary monsters appear just like in the anime
>Spergity and Sonata even do extra weeby summon chants like in the Japanese version of the anime






>You watch as the clouds part
>The sun shines brighter, nearly blinding you
>In the light there is a figure in the sky
>It's large, with massive white wings
>After a few seconds, you see that it is a figure
>A woman
>A goddess
>Perfect, flawless, beautiful beyond words
>The mere sight of her brought you to your knees
>With a flap of her wings, she gently lowered onto the ground in front of you
>The smile on her face as she looked at you filled you with utter joy
>A poet should have been here
>The goddess cleared her throat, reaching behind her and producing a piece of paper
>Your wonder and awe waned for a moment as she looked at the paper
>"Hello there young man. What does that ass do?" she asked, looking at the paper, then at you, then at the paper again. "Would you like to dab on this fly pussy?"
>Wat?
"Wat?"


>Luna is hiding on top of a cloud
>Very poorly, since anyone looking up would be able to see her
>"Sister, remember to ask if his buttcheeks clap like a bass beat!" she called. "Tell him you can stuff twenty marshmallows in your mouth! Dab woman! For harmony's sake, DAB!"







>The Sunset's swapped places.
>both we're unsatisfied with life, both sought something different.
>The unicorn became a human, and the human became a unicorn.
>They agreed to help each other with the swap. Coached each other on how to act so as not to give the game away, and what to expect from their new bodies, etc.

>The formerly human Shimmy meets Anon in Ponyville.
>She's initially surprised that there's a human here, from what the other Sunset told her, the enchantments on the mirror didn't allow it.
>Anonymous, shitposter that he is, quickly derails the conversation into an argument. And unlike most ponies, Shimmy has never been one to back down from conflict."
>"Why would I want to be a pony? I have thumbs, your argument is invalid."
"I have magic you idiot. who needs fingers when you have telekinesis!"
>"It's not the same. And now you look like a stuffed animal."
"Fuck you, I'm adorable!"
>"I bet you were a horse girl. Asked for a pony every Christmas."
"So what if I was? That's totally normal for a girl."
>"I think you mean totally crazy. Every horse girl I've ever met was certifiably insane, some of them just hid it better than others."
"I'm not crazy!"
>"TF is a shit fetish."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
>"It means you're here because you had a craving for horsecock. And the only reason you're bothering me, is because you can't score with the flamboyantly fabulous stallions in this crazy bizzaro world. Well I'm sorry, but I prefer Anon Jr. just the way he is."
>Sunset glares at him.
"Did I mention I'm a lazerhorse now? How about I give you a demonstration. I'm a good sport, I'll give you a five second head start."

>Off to the side, a pony shakes their head. "They both need to get laid."







Anon comes over with his laptop or whatever the fuck, because he was on his way to class or some dumb shit. So he still has some of his worlds games installed on it, a few of his worlds movies and maybe some cbrs and epubs.

But that's it, the entire extent of his worlds culture, and he was never sure what to do with it.

Does he delete it on the off chance someone finds it and sees what it truly is.

But after a while and being with Sunset he's for the most part forgotten about that.

One night though, after not being able to sleep he pulls out his computer and boots up a game from his world, there is a big difference between the worlds. It would seem that this world he is in, has far less violence in their media. He blames this Friendship power Sunset talks about all the time.

Deciding he wants to share in his worlds culture, he boots up Sunset's stream, since she keeps her passwords on sticky notes next to the monitor, like a scrub. He still loves her to bits though. Seeing some of the regulars hop on and some other, the chat is quickly filling with questions.

Is this some late night session by Sunset and if so, why is only her boyfriend here.

"Hey gals, Anon here, I know, normally I sit on the couch or in the background and nap while Sunnybunny plays. But... I was having trouble sleeping and wanted to play a game I haven't in a while. So I thought I'd do a super secret stream for you all." He shushes as he puts his index finger to his lips.

He boots up his laptop and for a moment, the stream gets weird, because he's on an entirely different operating system than any other computer on the planet, benefit, it's nigh unhackable and can't get viruses, downside, it makes running programs super annoying.

But he makes it work, he's got the stream connected and boots up the game. Amnesia: The Dark Descent.

He turns back to the camera, I used to love horror games as a kid, anything to try and scare me. I love this game though.

The girls watching Sunset's boyfriend play one of the most horrifying games they'd ever seen has a ridiculously high viewer count.

the next day Sunset tries to start streaming again and her account is suspended pending review for content.

The mods can't decide what to do about Anon, he didn't break any rules, but they can't find a single record anywhere online about the game he was playing and why it was so damn terrifying.

Rumors spread about Anon's cursed library of games that are horrifying and have no origin.

>By some miracle, the mods decide to not ban Sunset’s channel, mainly due to the rise in notoriety of Anon’s late night stream
>Poor Sunset doesn’t learn about his “nightly activities”, much to the pleasure of her chat, who delight in keeping the secret streams secret
>Every time Sunset streams following Anon’s nightly stream, the chat is filled with memes from before, which Anon reads out and chuckles at while Sunset remains confused
>Unfortunately, the jig was up one night, after a particularly scary jump scare led Anon to yelp, waking up Sunset






>The days before his wedding were some of the funnest Shining Armor had with his fiance.
>Not to say Cadence was boring, but she never really understood O&O or his shield collection.
>Then, suddenly, that last week, she totally got into it.
>She was like an entirely different pony, and the role playing they did...
>Not the sexy kind like usual.
>She actually was really spazzy about that and saying they should wait until they're married, which was weird.
>There was a reason Shining wasn't wearing white for the ceremony.
>But her DM'ing was great.
>She did a different voice for every NPC, and did them well.
>How she could have so many talents he didn't know about after the years of dating was a surprise, but not as much as her perfect old stallion voice.
>Before those games, Shining never thought he could have so much fun in a solo O&O campaign.
>He was eager to get his sister and Spike in on the action after the wedding.
>Right up until ponies started saying he was mind-controlled and Cadence turned into a bug.
>When the dust finally settled and Queen Chrysalis was defeated, Shining laid in bed with his new wife after some good-old lovemaking.
>"Hey, Cady...?"
>"Yes, Shiny?"
>"You want to play some O&O with Twilight, Spike, and me?"
>"Oh honey, you know that just isn't my thing. Haven't we been over this."
>"Sigh... Yeah, sorry."
>He rolls over and shuts his eyes, thinking of the campaign he'd likely never get to finish now

>Cadence starts to become jealous of how much time Shining Armor is spending with Chrysalis.
>Honestly, it might not be so bad if they were going out on dates or even screwing while excluding her.
>At least that's the kind of herding favoritism she's used to dealing with in her occasional relationship counseling.
>No, in fact, she's the main receiver of that hot pony dick her husband is packing, and most romantic outings are between them while Chrysalis does whatever it is changelings do in the basement.
>No, what bothers her is that, whenever they aren't having sex or going out, Shining and Chrysalis spend every minute together down in the changeling's cave, playing O&O or BattleMallet, or some other tabletop game Cadence doesn't understand.
>She intends to rectify this, however, as she demands she gets to join their O&O game.
>Shining agrees happily, and Chrysalis with false cheer and thinly veiled ire.
>It takes an hour to make her character sheet, and she nearly falls asleep several times as the two nerds try to explain the rules, the changeling groaning whenever she asks an apparently stupid question


>Cadence admittedly never played things like O&O because she didn't want to ruin her total Stacy status.
>In her teenage years, she was head of so many sports teams, class president, and all around cool mare in school.
>It was no wonder she bagged the hottest stallion in the class, and frankly, she found his janefilly ways adorable.
>A stallion liking nerdy things is cute, after all.
>A mare liking nerdy things just makes her a nerd, though.
>And it was a notion she could never really shake even after graduation.
>Now that she's finally playing it though, and the absolute nerdiness of it all is ignored, she's starting to see why her herdmates like the game.
>"I want to drink the blood from the severed head of the enemy!"
>"What? Why!?"
>"Because I'm metal like that," Candy replies with a glint in her eye. "Now let me drink that blood."
>Chrysalis gulps.
>"R-roll for constitution."

Cadance realizes that she can be evil... WITHOUT CONSEQUENCES!!!

>They start a new session on an evil campaign, a pseudo pvp with twilights good side
>as chrysalis is dming, she slowly comes to realize she was never really all that bad
>The fact that cadance found a way to legitimately use babies as a projectile to tie up magic and arial units was nothing short of genius
>Deep inside, she is so happy that cadance was worried about appearances






What if horses are interested in absolutely different games and would just scratch their heads.
>All the strategies have absolutely rudimentary warfare, but the diplomacy system takes twenty advanced tutorials to get a hold of. Like, you do attack with your units, but only after you cross-reference thirty treaties and check on your cultural influence levels. Even in realtime.
>Mirror's Edge is a genre-defining title like Doom, and by the horse-2019 the first-poneson runner has gone through so many epochs that it's not funny.
>Earthquestrian army pours hundreds of horse-millions into advanced black-AIouija chatbots to power their recruitment tool: the counterintelligence operative simulator, in which you have to talk people into blabbing out their secrets and allegiances. The Homme Fatale DLC is the most awaited release of horse-2020







>Be Anon
>You get stuck for life in RGRE
>At first was nice, but you quickly grow bored with your current state
>To Spice the things up you put the bigger pair of socks your are able to found and start to play villain
>You know the main 6 or the princesses will eventually defeat and “reform” you
>yfw you succeed with your plan of conquest because you are not an idiot
>yfw you have no idea on what to do now

>The princesses show up after you "capture" them
>They refuse to leave because they believe you have taken measures to ensure they cannot escape
>You have not
>They're eating all your food, and they've begun to sleep in bed with you to ensure you don't do anything dastardly while they slumber
>It takes you a few weeks to realize they are courting you and never took you seriously as a villain to begin with
>They just roll their eyes when you voice this realization and snuggle closer to you
>"Typical airheaded colt... but we love you anyway."





>anon streams reading human books
>ponies are not going "WOW" but are intrested in diffrence between human and pony literature
>chat just became a memy literature club
>after reading Orwell chat began compare Celestia to a Big Brother
>it was all fun and games until Celestia herself showed up in chat





>"Don't listen to those FILTHY Celesticites, Anon."
>"One man, one woman, that's what Cadenza wishes. That's what harmony wishes."
>"I'm going to give you and only you my love. All of it. Forever and ever."
>"Anything else is a sin."
>Be Anon
>This is really sweet
>You almost don't want to tell her the horse she worships is a peetzer-loving knucklehead with as much tact as a wrecking ball






>Anon was never entirely comfortable with how weather works in Equestria
>having bad weather be a bureaucratic fuck-up instead of bad luck doesn't make it less annoying
>and storing winter in boxes up in the attic to be spread out on the ground for a season and then put away again is just weird
>when Luna took him along for a tour of the old ruined royal estates he was surprised and delighted by the Everfree forest
>sure it might be full of monsters and weird magic but at least here nature is natural
>bemused but pleased that he found something that makes him happy Celestia and Luna give him the project of restoring the Castle of the Two Sisters as a royal residence and culturally significant site
>that it got him closer to Ponyville for Rarity to court him was a benefit he kept to himself

>Anon meets up with Fluttershy to take care of things in the area
>she's on speaking terms to all the monsters so she can shoo them away from the building sites
>she's initially intimidated by having royalty drag her along through a spooky forest but they quickly bond over shared experiences from their lives
>people can be cruel to people who don't speak up
>Rainbow Dash's gossip about them gives ponies entirely the wrong idea about what they're doing in the forest
>Rarity is hopping mad
>That scoundrel Fluttershy is impugning her fiance's honor!
>there's only one way to respond to such an insult
>a duel!
>next day Anon and Fluttershy set out to shoo the Cockatrice away from the worker's barracks when Rarity bursts out of the bushes where she lay in wait
>her hair is a mess, she's splattered with mud and there's a plastic thing on her foreleg
>with a manic gleam she brandishes a deck of childen's trading cards and declares that it's time to duel
>Anon sighs, takes out his loaner deck from his saddlebags and gives it to Fluttershy






>anon is incredibly depressed, but thanks to some magic bullshit he was able to charge his laptop
>reading stories over the ponenet, he tells stories from his world
>his selection of stories is limited, he never downloaded a lot of the ones he liked, but he tries
>due to the war focus, it is believed that he is of a warrior culture
>reading some star wars EU books, its thought that he is similier to the mandilorians in religion and some culture due to his comments of "some people were like this back home"
>his odd mannerisms make many think he is trying to integrate himself, and never wearing armor or carrying his ceremonial weapons is apart of that
>cue many stallions and mares trying to get him to act out his old warrior culture, and stop veiling his peoples history
>anon does not realize any of this and is just excited that he can shoot a gun again




>A thousand year passed and Anon fade to history, and history fade to legend
>Anon succeeded with his projects and eventually was persuaded by his herd to take some students
> After he passed his projects were kept by his students and by Twilight
>They advanced much beyond his work, but he is still credited as the original creator and the one who gave the ponies the secrets of high technology, the way of the machine
>Due the proximity he had with the princesses and the stories and rumors around him, Anon was viewed as something more than a simple engineer and the father of the Ponies of Iron “tribe”
>Respect for a great historical figure slowly turn into veneration through the centuries, and for some, in worship
>The entity who taught them how to restore sight to the blind and flight to the lame
>For most ponies Anon is figure similar to discord, but instead of chaos he is viewed as the embodiment of Knowledge and Technology who will eventually return to lead ponykind to another great jump forward
>In this days only the Princesses and the original “daughters” of Anon remember the man he was







>Be Doctor ChemSi, one of the many doctors in the secret underground base underneath Canterlot
>You were standing side by side with your coworker Doctor Sassy Hooves
>Mugs of coffee in hoof, both of you were staring at a strange creature
>Well, not REALLY strange
>You've seen some horse apples while working here
>It looked like a skinny minotaur
>It had weird paws on it's legs
>Flat face
>was wearing a scandalous amount of clothing
>Maybe a 2/10 on the weirdness scale
"So... what the hay is this, Sassy?" you asked, sipping your joe
>The unicorn shrugged
>"No idea. The extraction team picked him up in her majesty Princess Celestia's chambers."
"He?"
>"Yeah, we just got finished with his physical."
"He dangerous? Any anomalous abilities?"
>"We did find a couple of things. He has iron in his blood."
>Weird, but you've heard of weirder
>"Magic also seems to have an odd effect around him. Kinda like a Discordian field. It's like he's been bathing in chaotic energies for a good long time."
"That's not good."
>"Eh, I don't think it'll be bad. The second we put him back in his containment he settled down when we brought in those oreos.
>Both of you supped your coffees, watching as the creature when to town on them
>He was making a triple stacked
>You didn't care for that much filling, but to each their own
>"Also, I just reread the data. He seems to be the lewdest creature in existence."
>Your brow furrowed
"Pardon?"
>"That thing right there is the lewdest being in all of creation, as far as we can tell," Sassy said
"Even moreso than those succi ponies?"
>"When we brought him into the facility they started acting up, trying to escape. They seemed really nervous about. And yes, much more so. At least ten times."
>She hoofed you some papers
>"Official, we measured him at 69.9 per measured lewd
>You whistled
"That'd kill a Changeling
>"That'd kill a HIVE of Changelings," Sassy replied. "You know, we found him petting Princess Celestia."
"No way."
>"Her highness also said that her kissed her on the snoot and played with her hooves while rubbing her belly. If we hadn't extracted him when we did he might have gotten into bed with her and snuggled her while brushing her mane."
>You shook your head, looking the creature up and down
"Is he wearing socks?"
>"Yep," Sassy said
"What a bucking slut."
>"What a bucking slut is right, sis."
>This wasn't an easy job, but somepony had to do it






>It's not their fault, darkeness in Equestria is a corrupting force.
>Stallions are extra sensitive to this very corruption.
>This is partly why they are culturally spoiled and smothered with love and affection, from multiple sources, and why Mono relationships make ponies wary.
>When Anon comes into the picture, he gets more and more angry the more mares smother against him and keep him from soing stressful things, including having alone time to relax.
>Anon learns why, and is pretty fed up.
>He makes some chaos boy armor out of wood bits, EVA foam, and face paint and terrorizes the ponies by really spooking them.
>He makes the best evil rant ever and "escapes after his attempt to kidnap the princess" then goes on a month long vacation while everything stews.
>Alternitavely he does take the princess and fucks her stupid to releave that stress

>Anon is not immune to this corruption.
>He is just, from years of experience, very good at saying "No." to his darker impulses.
>Doesnt stop it from having a very visible effect on his body, he cant exactly just turn off his thoughts and some of those mares are getting VERY pushy, but at least he isnt running around kicking them in the shins NO MATTER HOW MUCH THEY MIGHT DESERVE IT.
>So despite looking like a Dark Overlord™ that's crawled from the burning depths of the damned to lay waste upon the land, he's still a decent enough guy to come to his old buddy Cranky's wedding when he got the invitation






>"M-Mr...."
>You looked down to see a babby horse
>The colt is snuggling, tears in his eyes
>"I... I lost my daddy," he said, using a wing to wipe his nose
>You stare down at the small creature
>Sighing, you picked him up, lifting him high into the air
>The colt, still sniffling, covered his ears
"HEY! WHO'S KID IS THIS?"
>Every horse in the market jumped
>Dozens of eyes turned toward you, then toward the foal you held aloft
>One older stallion looked around
>"Potluck! You get your little fanny over here!"
>"Daddy!" the colt shouted
>You cocked an arm back, launching him through the air like a football
>His wings extended, stopping the SICK spiral you had
>His dad was able to catch him with a wing
>"Thank you, Anonymous!" he yelled
>Just like that, the market was once again moving






Bandit husbando shiny may rub off on his mares and they may stop their life of villiany, but their own shenanigans would rub off on him too.
Maybe he still makes it to captain of the guard but he's a bit more....lax with the criminal side of things, his wives have connections and the like, maybe encourages the underbelly of canterlot to be a bit more 'above board' in exchange for leniency or occasionally looking the other way if a particularly stuck up noble's window gets broken.

Also it's amusing as hell to think of Chrysalis trying the wedding plan again when the marriage of Princess Cadence and Anonymous is announced, impersonating one of the Guard captain's herd in order to bypass the defences, only to get her flank kicked by the other mares when she doesnt know the old secret hoof shake.






>Starswirl is uncomfortable with the role alicorns play in modern equestria
>the three tribes offered the crown to Celestia and Luna because they trusted them in particular to be their protectors and a neutral party to disputes between the tribes
>they weren't asking to set the fourth tribe above them
>hell, the succession used to just be that Celestia was in charge if Luna died, and Luna was in charge if Celestia died
>if they were both out of the picture there was no plan to give the crown to the next wingy-horny who came along
>but if he tries to talk to modern ponies about this they just laugh him off as a hysterical colt who went insane because he didn't have foals before his testicles shriveled up






>humans are the most reclusive race on Equus
>their even sex distribution and lack of magic made them targets of abuse and colt-snatching in the old days
>humans responded by withdrawing into the back of beyond and defending their new homeland with lethal force
>in pony stories human colts fill the role of amazons, handsome violent creatures to either be put in their place by marely protagonists or there for a bit of coltdom
>human kingdom becomes disturbed by the sudden build-up of alicorns
>you go from centuries of just Celestia to them having five of the horrid godlings in less than thirty years?
>even human tech can't deal with alicorns dropping stars on their houses
>King Damnatio Memoriae settles on one thing he's willing to give up to secure peace between his country and that war-monger Celestia
>Prince Anonymous, his youngest and least promising son






> Caramel, for all that he is a willful and whimsical stallion, is easily manipulated
> The monthly villain only has to talk with him for five minutes and Caramel is a staunch supporter of Smashing Piggybanks or whoever
> The Elements regularly employ Anon to deal with him, as well as any other stallions swayed to side of evil
> After a few repetitions, Anon persuades them to pay him if he manages to keep Caramel from joining the evil team
> From then on, Anon would tell Caramel little white lies to sabotage the recruitment
"Oh, was that Hood Wink that just talked to you? I heard she say you would look good in socks, once you lost some weight."
"Zeeb Neeb is speaking to you from behind the grave? Just ignore her, the legends tell of how she never used a coaster for her drinks."






>Anon's reputation is already tanked thanks to being striped
>Anon loves his fillies more than anything, though, and he doesn't care that their mothers are pieces of trash
>Anon suspected something was up with their diets when their teething went differently than his few stallion friends described their own foal's teething was like
>They mostly hang out with Anon because they think it's empowering to be a single father, and they believe Anon is the ultimate strong independent stallion who don't need NO mare
>Before any of the other teeth come in, four little sharp points try to break through the flesh, which causes his fillies great distress
>It's not until a doctor's visit happens for mild malnourishment that Anon realizes that their diets are much closer to his own than they are to a pony's or a zebra's
>Anon knows why his reputation is dead, and he knows that his foals are on thin ice already as it is
>He openly buys meat because it's not like he gives a shit about what ponies think of him by now, but he keeps it a secret that his fillies eat meat as well
>This goes well until none other than Princess Twilight Sparkle notices that Anon is buying much more meat than usual.
>She's been studying him (with his permission, of course) ever since he arrived in Equestria, but her interest had waned when she thought Anon was just some trashy stallion who got foals dumped on him from a missing mother
>But her interest is piqued again, and she discovers that his fillies eat meat now as well
>"Th-They're not pure zebras, or a typical half-pony half-zebra! They're a new, unique hybrid!"
>Twilight offers some well-needed money to study Anon's foals, which he agrees to as long as it's as noninvasive as possible
>So, that translates to Anon and his fillies having a meeting with Twilight once a week where she talks to them, asks about their diet, how certain things make them feel, and does basic things like measuring their heartbeat or listening to their breathing
>These meetings start out as very formal and very professional
>Soon enough, Anon starts to prepare for the meetings by making coffee or tea, which Twilight appreciates
>After a while, Twilight brings over a few young foal's books to keep Anon's fillies entertained while she talks to them or has to single one of them out
>After that, Anon provides snacks, and the two of them spend 15 minutes before she begins just talking about whatever's going on in their lives
>She's concerned that Anon can make ends meet, and she's always happy to help out any way that she can
>Twilight starts looking forward to these meetings and starts brings toys with her, having become fond of Anon and his fillies
>The fillies, meanwhile, are always happy to see Twilight
>She's the only consistent female figure in their lives, and they're young enough that they slip up once in a while and call her "mommy"
>Twilight, being somewhat of a sperg, didn't realize that she was developing feelings for Anon until a meeting was cut short for some reason, the fillies left the house, and she found herself making out with Anon on his living room couch
>She and Anon officially become an item, and she treats the zebra fillies as though they were her own
>Rarity, despite her Canterlonian disposition about zebras, thinks that it's all very romantic
>Applejack just tries not to bring it up in conversation
>Anon's happy to have someone he can rely on, and the fillies are just thrilled to have a mom
>something something happy ending






>Anon and Twilight end up moving to Canterlot for reasons
>Almost zero zeebs there, so it's like moving into a predominantly white gated neighborhood
>Have a foal together, it's a boy
>The zebra foals absolutely adore their little half-brother and do everything they can to protect him
>Years go by, and Anon and Twi's colt is a teenager and decides to start dating
>The mare who's interested in him gets (gently) pulled aside by Anon's zebra daughters
>Given that most Canterlonians can go their entire lives without even SEEING a zebra, this is very alarming for the mare
>"I'm going to get mugged, aren't I?"
>They tell her in no uncertain terms that she had better not be planning on breaking their brother's heart
>"W-Wait, how in the world are you his sisters?! You're.... y-you're, well... I mean...."
>Anon's zeeb daughteru's just glance at teach other and then grin widely at their half-brother's marefriend
>Their four pointy canines glint in the sunlight, just like their brother's do too
>"...oh."
>>"Papa's got a big heart, and we inherited that too. Never make our brother cry, alright?"






>Back and Celestia and Luna's day, courtship and lovemaking were very much different than modern days
>It was Renaissance romance turned up to eleven
>Poetry, making up songs, writing anonymous novels, hundreds of pages long, describing beauty
>In their day the height of courtly love and romance would be for a woman to take her gentlemen to her bedchambers, kneel by him while he sat on the edge of the bed, and sing his praises
>A kiss before asking the head of the household to court a boy was seen as scandalous
>Seeing a boy's shoulders would usually see that boy thrown out of his home to wander the streets as nothing more than a two-bit whore
>Because of her banishment, Luna had no idea about how romance and sex in these modern times work
>Celestia, devastated after her sisters departure, gave up on relationships of an intimate nature
>Focusing solely on her duties as a ruler, she didn't notice the world change around her
>Now, after their retirement, both sisters would like to start dating
>You want to bury your face between those sunny thighs
>Celestia didn't even fucking know what cunninglis is
>All she wants to do is write you poetry and challenge any that besmirch your name to armed combat
>Luna wants to be scandalous, wanting to sneak into your chambers at night for her novel about how your eyes sparkle in her moonlight
>If she plays her cards right, she might hold your hand for a moment before you scurry away, embarrassed