Stories submitted by anonymous writers from threads 21 through 30 are collected here.
Table of Contents
11716202	13140852	13525941	14200493
11846306	13142917	13526148	14217843
11989835	13187326	13529670	14228623
12028317	13198598	13530141	14265935
12194161	13209138	13538319	14280172
12287295	13209192	13610398	14281583
12294511	13209473	13613050	14282319
12316670	13238142	13661595	14297517
12317589	13258154	13691722	14307537
12711814	13313489	13716584	14329837
12973257	13324785	13718257		
12980780	13329131	13737267		
12980900	13342525	13739796		
12981772	13351254	13771792		
12996611	13404489	13786908		
13060898	13407417	13793356
13061594	13409559	14030097
13067033	13410206	14040789
13077361	13419333	14102803
13078304	13437819	14107009
13080365	13441401	14109822
13086615	13447395	14115823
13107528	13455985	14116588
13107528	13472618	14149926
13133090	13504598	14162974

-----------------------
11716202
>Day Maids General
>Your servants inform you that they have found an intruder on the grounds.
>Upon discovering that the intruder is female, you instruct them to bring her to you.
>Five minutes later, you find yourself face to face with a talking purple unicorn.
>In the next half hour, she explains that her name is Twilight Sparkle.
>She comes from another world and teleported here by accident.
>You nod politely as you listen to the rest of her story.
"Interesting. Very interesting."
>You eye her closely without saying anything.
>She lowers her head, looking scared and confused.
"For now, why don't you work here? Free meals and board, and the pay is good."
>"R-Really? That would be great! Thanks!"
"But first, a warm bath might be in order."
>"I'd love that! I've been sleeping outside for days!"
>You watch as your servants escort her to the bath.
>Her flank swings invitingly as she leaves the room.
>Not exactly what you had expected, [spoiler]but a pony is fine too.[/spoiler]
-----------------------
11846306
>Day hiatus in PiE
>be p0ny
>refresh the the site furiously
>nop0ny posts any stories
>be mad
>a itty-bitty voice at the back of your head whispers
"hay horsefucker, maybe post a story of your own?"
>Is it an alien probe?
"I don't believe it!"
>bored as fuck, hit random page on wikipedia
>maybe this time you get to autism in less than 3 links
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pinkie_House
>habeebit
>fucking alicorn pinkie
>remember season 6
>get mad
>and PiE still is at #22 issue
>WHY NOP0NY POSTS ANY STORIES
>write how much you hate that no new stories
>an anon is at least trying, he writes a review
"FUCK U CASUAL, YOUR CANCER OF THIS GENERAL"
 
>another hour, and still nothing
>get broken
>write the most shitty greentext story about people not writing anything
>fuck the guy who posted like >9k words recently, hes arab & shit
>put some more le maymay memes in your post, we /b nao
>fuck this general
>notice the sign
>MR BONES WILD RIDE
>YOU ARE HERE FOREVER
>AND EVERY NEXT THREAD WILL LAST LONGER AND LONGER
[spoiler]Mr. Blue, you could have stopped that[/spoiler]
-----------------------
11989835
>blimp
 
>day 6 on Earth
>you are Rainbow Dash
>a huge ellipsoid floats silently in the sky above the town
>you leap out the window just like Daring Do
>and fly up for a closer look
>hmm
>it says "GOOD YEAR" on the side
>perhaps it's some kind of celebration?
"Pfft, it's lame," you say.
>Because it's not as fast as you.
>it was a thread blimp day
-----------------------
12028317
>Day Kobolds on Earth
>Be Rainbow Dash
>You are in a heated battle with a humanoid rat over a candlestick
>You pull on one end with your teeth and he yanks back on the other end
>"You no take candle!"
"Gimme you candle!"
>"No!"
>The tug of war lasts for minutes
>You get one hard yank in, loosing it from his grip and sending it flying behind you
"Aha!" you cheer in victory
>"Ahh!" shouts the Kobold in a bloody war cry as he runs at you
>You quickly buck him in the head, knocking him unconcious
>As you turn to retrive your treasure, another Kobold comes out of nowhere and picks up your candlestick before running off with it
"Hey!" you shout before giving chase
>Fucking Kobolds
-----------------------
12194161
>"Issac! I need you to... Is that a fluffy pony?"
"Oh, thank god you see it too! I thought I went completely insane. Damn necromorphs ignore it. I seem it giggle everytime one knocked me down."
>The pink fuzz ball taps your leg again.
"And it keeps tapping me."
>Ellie's video image states at the pink ball.
>"just ignore it. Issac I need you to go on the tram. Meet me up over here?"
"Okay, Issac out."
>Video feed closes and you look down at the fuzz ball.
"I'm gonna call you Fluffy. Come on, lets go."
>You get your plasma cutter ready and walk to the tram station. It rolls and follows you.
"This should get interesting..."
-----------------------
12287295
>Day Zebra on Earth
>Hangin' with your bro Pat
>Chillin' on the couch watching tv
>You can't help but peek over now and then and just admire him
>Something about him just makes him look damn sexy
>It's gotta be the wicked afro he's got going on
"Hey Pattycakes," you tell him.
>'Why haven't we had sex yet?' you want to ask him
>Instead you ask, "We should go to the movies or some shit. Hang out at the beach."
>"Naw, man. I gots me some plans tonight."
>Wait, what?
>A knock on the door and Pat gets off the couch and trots over
>That apple pony bitch is standing at the door
>"And there she is!" exclaimed Pat.
>She gave him a kiss on the cheek
>"See ya later, Anon."
>Pat walked out with Applejack right behind him.
>You turn down the TV and curl into the fetal position and cry yourself to sleep
>Why won't he love you?
-----------------------
12294511
>Day Double Date on Earth
>Be Anon
>Your best friend [spoiler]and secret butt buddy[/spoiler] Pat is hanging out at your house
>Plans tonight are dinner and a movie with your pony girlfriends
>Pat's date Octavia arrives and you wait for yours
>Octavia is getting impatient as the three of you have been sitting around for a good 15 minutes
>"I thought we were leaving at 6?" she asked
>"Just wait a bit longer," said Pat
>"Who are we even waiting for?"
>"Anon's date"
>"I said 'who' "
>Knock knock
>You get out of your seat and saunter over to the door
>You find a very neutral-looking pink horse standing at your doorstep
 
"Pinkie!"
>You crouch down to hug your date
>"Hello," she greets
>Octavia pulls Pat down by his collar so she can whisper in his ear
>"He's dating HER!?"
>Pat takes another look at Pinkie and asks, "Yeah, why?"
>"She's SO depressing! She'll kill the mood of the entire evening with her excessive sulking!"
>"Just give her a chance, will you?"
 
>Pinkie also whispers in your ear as you hug her
>"He's dating HER!?"
"Yeah, why?"
>"She's such a prude! She'll kill the mood of the entire evening with her excessive nagging!"
"Just give her a chance, will you?"
>The two pairs walk out of the house and to Pat's car
>Pat drives, you sit co-pilot, and your respective dates sit behind you
>You sink in your seat and close your eyes
>Pinkie rests her head on her hoof and stares out the window
>Octavia sits uncomfortably in back, her focus shifting from the pink pony beside her, to you, to Pat, then back outside in a constant circle
 
>Octavia finally decides to start conversation.
>"So, uh... Pinkie, is it? How do you get your hair so straight?"
>"Long-term depression..." she mutters, still looking outside
>"Oh... Well it's working wonders," replies Octavia
>"Yeah..."
"I enjoy it," you say from your place at the front of the car. "It looks great"
>"Do you always wear that bow tie and collar?" Pinkie asks Octavia
>"Yes I do. Because I'm a mare of class."
>"My hoof," Pinkie mutters under her breath
>"I think it makes you look adorable," said Pat from the driver's seat
>"What did you say?" asked Octavia
>"I said I think it makes you-" started Pat
>Octavia interupted him
>"Not you. YOU," she stated, pointing an accusing hoof at Pinkie
>Pinkie slowly looked at her for a brief second before going back to staring out the window
>"I don't know," she mumbled with a shrug
>"It sounded like you said 'My hoof' "
>"Okay..."
>Pinkie didn't care, but Octavia couldn't drop it
>Octavia reached over and lightly hit Pinkie upside the head
>"You need to learn some manners," she said
>Pinkie snapped her attention back to Octavia with a glare of pure death
>You and Pat heard the bonk of hoof on head
>Pat looked back through the rear-view
>You just turned your head
 
>Pinkie quickly shot a hoof out and punched Octavia in the shoulder
>Octavia retaliated with the same
>Their little fight started to escalate with them unbuckling their seat belts and lunging at each other
>You look towards Pat who was trying to keep an eye on the road
"Dude, I think we should pull over"
>"I was kind of thinking the same-"
>A fucking wrench Pat had on the floor of the car went flying between the two of you and smashed into the windshield
>Spiderwebs spread from the impact point
>"WHAT THE FUCK!" shouted Pat
>He slammed on the brakes, the tires squealing and even leaving a bit of a smoke trail
>The two mares fly forward and slam into the seats in front of them
>They bounce back and lie in a crumpled heap in the back seat
>You and Pat get out of the car and run to throw open the doors to the back seat as the two get up to attack each other again
>You each grab them by the back of the neck and pull them out of the car opposite of each other
>You hold Pinkie with both arms tight to your chest
"Calm down!" you shout at Pinkie who was trying to squirm out of your grasp to get to the pony on the other side of the car
>"Tavi, please!" pleads Pat for his date to stop her fighting
 
>They eventually wore themselves out and just sat there in silence
"So you want to tell me what that was all about?" you ask Pinkie
>"No"
>"She hit me!" accused Octavia from over the car
>"She hit me first," defended Pinkie
>"She made fun of my bow!"
>"I did no such thing!"
>"Enough!" shouted Pat
>He walks to the front to assess the damage of his windshield
>You stay in back to watch the girls in case they decide to go at it again
>Pat looks over the windshield and shakes his head with a sigh
>"Well I suppose I can still drive it, but who's going to pay for this now?"
>The two ponies point at each other from beyond the vehicle
"We'll worry about that later. Octavia, you're sitting in front. Pinkie, you're behind Pat."
>"Why don't you drive?" asks Pat
"It's your car and I don't have a license"
>"God, you're useless"
>Pat gets back in the driver's seat and the passengers take their respective seats
>Pat can't take his eyes off the spiderweb in his windshield as he starts the car and starts moving again
 
>Dinner is quiet and awkward for the most part
>There's the usual banter between you and Pat with the occasional insult from either mare
>It goes off without a hitch, if you say so yourself
>The movie afterward wasn't up to your expectations and you faded in and out
>Pat sat beside you and your dates opposite of each other
>Pat also had his arm on your side of the arm rest
>He wants the D
>Octavia got pissed at some chick in the lobby that she caught staring at Pat
>It didn't help they sat mere feet from each other and Octavia could hear the girl talking to her friend about Pat
>Octavia gave them a death stare to the back of the head throughout the whole movie
>Pinkie was indifferent and even whispered to you about some possible psychosis with Octavia that made you laugh
>"What did you say!" shouted Octavia
"Nothing. Watch the movie," you say before Pinkie could speak up
>Pat just looked happy to be there
>With the movie over and after doing the full bladder shuffle to the bathroom, the four of you head home
>Pinkie is dropped off first, giving you a kiss on the cheek for an interesting evening
>Fucking score
>Octavia is dropped off next, vowing never to go out with that pink pony again
>Finally, it's just you and your friend of color on the way to drop you off at your own place
>You're totally getting laid
 
>"Crazy night, huh?" asked Pat
"You're telling me. How do you plan to fix the windshield?"
>He shrugs.
>"If you have any ideas, let me know"
>A quick minute of silence goes by
"All in all, that went way better than I expected"
>"Oh without a doubt. I was expecting to witness a murder sometime today"
"You're girlfriend's fucking insane, by the way"
>"And your's isn't?"
"At least she doesn't pretend to be sane"
>You give it a few seconds to think about
"We should totally do this again"
>"Without question"
>You arrive at your house, give Pat a black guy hand shake, and go inside
>Today was a good day
>[spoiler]You fap vigorously to thoughts of you and Pat before you fall asleep[/spoiler]
>[spoiler]You cum buckets[/spoiler]
-----------------------
12316670
"Argh! Son of a bitch!"
>The necromorph screeched like a bird and ran back to hiding. Fluffy kept giggling rolling its pink fluffy self on the dirty blood stained floor.
"You could have warn me!"
>She blows you a raspberry with her tongue. Damn was that cute but fuck her.
>You get up and aim your plasma cutter. It was quiet but you can still eat the necromorph walkin around.
>"Caw!"
>You turn around an see two of them run right at you. The stasis module wasn't charged enough for you to slow one down.
>BAM
>A crate fell onto the necromorphs killing them instantly. You see that a crane dropped them that was operated by fluffy.
>It goes up to you and hugs you.
"Awe... I can't be mad at you. I forgive you."
>You hug her back and ruffle the guenon her head.
>"Issac! We need your help now!"
"On it, Ellie."
>You get your cutter out and go back to kicking ass with Fluffy
-----------------------
12317589
>Well, this was one hell of a way to start off the new year.
>Standing at the bedside, you look down at your now deceased father.
>For years, the man worked tirelessly to bring forth the best to humanity through chemistry.
>Sure, something things he developed were "unorthodox" and "unethical", but it was for science!
>Pinkie stands beside you, placing a hoof on your thigh for support.
>Turning to her, you let out a depressed sigh.
"It was only a matter of time. The man was always exposed to weird chemicals."
>Pinkie nods her head in agreement as you place a hand to his neck in hopes that he is still alive.
"At least he went peacefully. He always said he'd rather die in his sleep. We never asked if he wanted to be cremated or buried."
>The mare's hoof begins to shake violently on your leg.
>You turn to her, sadness quickly turning to anger.
>That smile; you know that smile.
"Don't you dar—"
>Before you can finish your statement, Pinkie blurts out:
>"Isn't it obvious, Anon? When chemists die, they barium!"
-----------------------
12711814
>walk into house
>sexy redneck chick sittin on couch
>"ey bby wan sum fuk?"
>fuck for hours because every Anon is a womanizer and sex machine who doesn't cum in 10 seconds while chick cums multiple times on dick alone
>cum buckets but no simultaneous orgasm because too alpha for that shit
>leave her on couch and go to bed
>it was an average day
-----------------------
12735094
>He haunts your dreams, now.
>Soon he will come for you.
>Luna tucks you in at night and gives you a kiss on the cheek to ease your fears.
>It's ass-backwards as you're supposed to protect her.
>You can't do that if you're so incapacitated at night.
>Someone needs to look under your bed and check the closet for him.
>You know he's coming.
>You manage to fall asleep until a bump beneath your bed wakes you up.
>Apprehensively crawling to the end of your bed, you look over the edge to the floor.
>You slide down until you're able to see beneath
>The heart in you chest stops beating and your eyes widen farther than ever before.
>A pair of eyes hovers in the shadows beneath your bed, staring straight at you.
>And then a shout is heard, forever boring itself into the depths of your mind and driving you to absolute insanity.
>[spoiler]"All aboard! Ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaa!"[/spoiler]
-----------------------
12973257 Visions of Armageddon: Rainbow Dash
>It was six years into the war.
>We only know what happened now--to the extent that anypony understands it--because Nightmare Moon became overconfident.
>She did a magical broadcast that reached every portion of Equestria.
>She and Twilight Sparkle had captured a human war machine that came through the portal.
>It was an enormous silver dart, bigger than a locomotive, spewing blue-white flames brighter than the sun from its rear portion
>The thing was held in a force field bubble by Shining Armor and two dozen of Canterlot's most powerful unicorns
>Nightmare Moon wanted to interrogate its pilot while all our world watched
>We didn't notice until later that some of their skins were blistering
>That the very plants were turning brown and dying all around
>Neither did they, apparently
>Nightmare Moon held the human pilot in tendrils of black force and raved at him
>And he laughed at her, and stopped to cough up blood, and laughed some more
>He had bloody sores all over his face and his hair was falling out
>We didn't know what that meant. Not yet.
>And he knew we didn't know. I'm sure of it.
>That's probably what he meant when he said "You adorable li'l drongos 'ave no bloody conception o' what ya set in motion, do ya? 'Strewth."
>And that was sufficiently unexpected that Nightmare Moon just looked at him.
>"Name's MacAllister, late o' th' Royal Australian Air Force, soon to be very late, at yer service."
>"An' that's a nuclear ramjet with a reactor givin' out seven hundred megawatts, just in usable heat energy."
>"Not countin' gamma rays. Yer all already dead, an' if ya weren't, none o' ya can fly fast enough to get away from what's comin'."
>Nightmare Moon said "What's the meaning of this?"
>Famous last words, I suppose.
>"You lot 'aven't th' scientific or technical context for the details, but I'll tell ya this."
>"I volunteered fer this 'cos my wife an' children died in your raid on Adelaide."
 
>"We know you lot can bollix our cybernetics, anything mechanically or 'lectronically controlled."
>"But not a human pilot. So I heard about th' project, an I volunteered t' bring a message."
>"What message, you insolent ape?" You have to hand it to Nightmare Moon, I guess. Even in the face of death. Not that she understood, I think.
>"Just this. On behalf o' my species, th' human race, I 'ave some information t' impart to you an' yer 'ead lackey over there, th' quiet purple one in particular."
>"An' th' rest of your kind more gen'rally. An' any powers that exist in yer world that coulda stopped ya from startin' a war with ours."
>There was a brief pause.
>"Ya done goofed."
>"See, we used ta go in fer concepts like 'unconditional surrender.' But that was when we waged war 'gainst one another."
>"You lot, ya swore t' exterminate us down to th' last infant, an' as far as we can tell, ya mean t' make good on it."
>"We still don't know whether ya've got th' means ta match yer will. But I wager after today ya'll 'ave less means than ya did yesterday."
>"An' for anyone watchin' this that may still be alive tomorrow: we don't want yer surrender. We want yer extinction."
>And he began to laugh again, coughing up blood and this time, teeth.
>"'Strewth. I don't 'ave long. But maybe long enough."
>"So, Moonie, ya wonder what somethin' like this flyin' nightmare mighta been designed t' carry?"
>"Besides a human pilot, I mean. Which it wasn't, but we're adaptable."
>And Nightmare Moon began squeezing him with her magic.
>And he screamed, but said one last thing.
>"An yer 'bout t' learn of two more human inventions. One's called a 'deadman switch.'"
>And on camera, Nightmare Moon killed him.
>And the signal cut off.
 
>And from thirty leagues away we watched the mushroom-shaped cloud of radioactive fire climb roaring into the sky.
>It wasn't until days later that we grasped the magnitude of what happened.
>Where Canterlot had been, is now a crater with walls of green glass that glow in the dark, and burn your skin if you are near them too long.
>The crater's a good eight or nine leagues across, and a league deep.
>Nightmare Moon, Twilight Sparkle, almost all our aristocracy, the command and logistical center for our armies, the transportation hub for our nation
>All gone in an instant. Cloudsdale was only a few leagues from Canterlot that day, and disappeared in a flash of fire.
>Ponyville was flattened by the blast, twenty leagues away.
>They said ponies were burnt to ash in an instant, leaving their shadows on the bleached stone,
>their ashes swept away by the winds and pressure wave that came seconds later
>For ten leagues and more in all directions from the crater, everything that could burn, did.
>And the grey and black ashes of Canterlot that fell hundreds of leagues away carried poison that destroyed all life.
>We might have tried to cleanse the land with the Elements of Harmony--but four of the six are dead. Only I and Fluttershy survived.
>And she's dying too, her mane and tail falling out, vomiting blood, just like that human pilot, just like everyone touched by the ash.
>Human armies pour through the portal unopposed. The minotaurs and griffins were happy to join the winning side, not that I can blame them.
>We hide in what's left of the Everfree Forest. The humans aren't here for loot or slaves. They don't want prisoners.
>Cities that surrender are burned down, cities that resist are annhilated with whatever they used on Canterlot.
>Someone said humans called it "a tommic boom." I wonder if "tommic" means "big."
>I wonder if we can surrender to the griffins. Maybe they'll spare our lives. The humans won't.
-----------------------
12980780
>Celestia was looking out at the destruction she'd caused by her miscalculation, and weeping
>suddenly, a wild Doom Faust appeared!
>"YOU COULD HAVE PREVENTED THIS," she shrieked
>"IT'S THE FUTURE YOU CHOSE"
>Twilight Sparkle scowled at the newcomer. "You don't have to be such a cunt about it."
>it was a DOOOOOOOOOOOM day, and it will not be fixed
-----------------------
12980900
>Day Pat on Earth
>Be using your ziggercorn powers to force the beautiful white human women unconscious
>Usually with a bat upside the head
>Be getting some action with your second horn as well
>The bitches love it
>Bring some willing ladies back to your crib
>Love all night
>This goes on for weeks
>Get calls from all of them several months later
> "Aw sheeit, zigga"
>What the fuck is a satyr?
>Be forced to pay child support for your bastard zigglets for the rest of your life
>Threatened to be charged for multiple counts of rape
>Decide to say "Fuck this shit" and go back to Equestria
>Human laws don't apply here
>You never visit your demon spawn
>It's the average life of a ziggercorn
-----------------------
12981772 Chrysalis on Earth
>visiting Chryssy
>former Queen of the Changelings, that is
>she's been exiled to Earth to keep her from making trouble
>Earthly vices she's picked up appear to be doing a good job of keeping her from attempting global conquest
>or getting off the couch
>she's got an enormous beanbag chair made to resemble a huge mushroom
>that one's your fault, for introducing her to Lewis Carroll's writing
>it's complete with a hookah, and it was your ex who introduced the ex-Queen to dope
"Hi, Chryssy."
>she smiles a slow lazy smile and blows resinous smoke in your direction
>"Yeah. I am."
>and she's convulsed with giggles from her own cleverness
>fortunately it's hard to fall off a beanbag chair, otherwise she could have been injured
>"C'mere, sweetie. Give Chryssy some love."
"I don't think I feel up to it today, and I just stopped by on my way to work."
>"Maybe this weekend? I can turn into your ex for you, if you'd prefer that."
>damned pothead bug knows you still have a thing for her
>she may be an alien bug pony from another world, but she's sure got your number
>Fluttershy walks in. "Oh, hi, Anonymous."
"Hi, Yellowquiet."
>"So, is Chryssy your--"
"Don't say it, please."
>it was a meta day
-----------------------
12996611 Apocatastasis: Princess Celestia
>the sky is purple-black and angry
>the storm the humans call "Hurricane Gabriel" is bearing down on the heavily inhabited eastern coast of a continent significantly larger than Equestria
>the storm itself is larger than Equestria. it's a monster. thousands of pegasi are here and it bulls right through them
>the storm front is a wall of titanic energies, like nothing Equestria has seen in centuries
>but this isn't Equestria, this is Earth
>and the ponies are trying desperately to help
>Princess Celestia stands on a small cloud in an almost cartoonish manner, staring thoughtfully on the onrushing wall
>her faithful student, Twilight Sparkle, and Twilight's friend, Rainbow Dash, the Element of Loyalty stand on either side
>Princess Celestia squints at the wall, then looks straight up, thoughtfully.
>Dash looks exhausted, but she says "I think we can wear it down, we just need to keep the pressure on."
>"I think I have an idea," says Celestia.
>And her horn begins to glow.
>and there is suddenly a terrible white light as a ragged hole is torn in spacetime
>in front of her are suddenly three familiar figures
>Nightmare Moon, Chrysalis, and--another Twilight Sparkle? with a scarred face, and an eyepatch? all look exhausted, as if they are all about to collapse
>this second Twilight Sparkle opens her mouth to speak a single word: "Don't!"
>Dash and the one she has already labeled as the "real" Twilight Sparkle step silently forward, to put their bodies between their Princess and danger
>"Please," gasps out the newcomer, the Element of Magic worn on her head, the gemstone in the Element already turning grey and beginning to crumble.
>"Listen. No time. Don't. Please."
>"Is that you, Twilight? I don't understand--" says Princess Celestia, motherly concern in her eyes.
>"Please. No more time. Sorry, so sorry. Took all the magic we three had left, you see. Travelled back in time six years."
>"Years?"
 
>"Yes. Burnt out Element of Magic. Ourselves too. Dying. Please. Listen."
>"Oh no! We can--"
>"Too late for us. Listen. Princess. Please."
>"But--"
>"Sister mine, listen to what thine student says. The message she bears, 'twas worth all our lives."
>even Chrysalis, coughing, falling to her knees, manages to look up and nod in agreement, and croaks out a few words: "Please. For my people, as well as yours. We agreed, this was worth our lives, but listen, please."
>The second Twilight takes a deep breath and begins to speak haltingly. "Mustn't alter planet's motion."
>"Would interfere with human communications satellites. Thousands of them in orbit. Alter orbit, human communications stop working worldwide."
>"Humans. Not evil. Not innately. But different, fundamentally. Predator species where we are prey. They, they..." and she collapsed, now coughing blood
>she continued in a hoarse whisper. "thought it was an attack. Humans panicked. Lashed out in an instant. Like a manticore stung by a bee. No hesitation. Reflex."
>"They managed to kill you. We swore revenge. Gave ourselves over to darkest magics. Didn't understand what we were up against."
>"Carnivore species numbering in the billions. War of extermination. I've killed so many, we've killed so many. Did it in your name. Please forgive us. Went mad with grief and despair."
>"Humans wore us down with attrition, then used weapons we still don't understand. Destroyed our civilization. Laid Equestria waste. Turned Canterlot into a crater. Incinerated cities in an instant. Killed us by the millions."
>"Swarmed through portal like a flood of stinging army ants. Like a pack of timberwolves mad with the scent of blood. Hundreds of millions. They felt threatened. Reacted like predators. Blind unreasoning bloodlust. Berserker rage. Reveled in it, in joy of the hunt. Utterly ruthless. Total war. Total extermination."
>"So many ponies dead. Only a handful of us left."
 
>"Humans, very skilled engineers. Broke out everything they were afraid to use on their own planet except in gravest extreme. Poison gases. Plagues. Bombs that lay waste half a province in an instant. No hesitation. They thought they were fighting monsters. Held back nothing."
>"Griffins, minotaurs, Diamond Dogs, even dragons, joined winning side. They rule our world, which is now a poisoned cinder."
>"Please. Don't alter orbit. Let pegasi fight the storm. Human coastal cities built to withstand storms."
>"And forgive us. Forgive us for the horrors we wrought. Forgive us for torturing and killing in your name."
>"Forgive us for losing ourselves to hate. Forgive us for becoming the monsters the humans thought we were. Forgive us for not stopping you the first time."
>"You didn't know. We didn't know. So sorry."
>then the second Twilight smiled. "Always loved you, Princess. Worth it to see you again one last time."
>And the Princess embraced her. And then she died.
>Chrysalis was already dead. Nightmare Moon had shrunk and shriveled upon herself and turned into a tiny, foal-like creature with sad eyes that took one more shuddering breath and died.
>Even the time travellers' bodies disintegrated into colorful sparks that blew away in the rising wind and vanished.
>Princess Celestia looked at her faithful student, who had been silent all this time, for a long moment.
>Then the two embraced.
>Days later, after the storm, somewhat diminished in power, made landfall, after ponies had assisted in the cleanup, blurry video taken by members of a certain SEAL team was analyzed by the NSA.
>They could not explain what they saw, and so they chalked it up to "pony magic" and classified the whole thing Top Secret.
>Two worlds kept on turning, and several intelligent species went on with getting to know the new neighbors.
-----------------------
13060898
>Several ponies were up to their knees in dirt.
>"Ew, I'll need to repaint my hooves."
>then they got out of earth and went their separate ways
>it was a tautological day
>but even that suffices to bump a thread
-----------------------
13061594
>Day 12 in "Integrated High School"
>Where Ponies and Humans alike could go and learn
>Your'e too tired for school
>You look at your alarm clock
>Its somewhere between 5 and Too Early to be awake
"Hey Fag, time to get up"
>"Fuck you Snips"
"I made you Waffles you Dog Fucker"
>"Fine"
>You get up and look around
>Snip's bead is unmade, Snails still lying on his mattress, a puddle of drool under his head.
>You throw a pillow at him
>Before it gets halfway to impaling itself on his horn, it reverses course and knocks you back
"Could at least ask if I'm up, ass" He says, slowly sitting up and wiping the sleep from his eyes
"I'm gonna eat these waffles if your not down here in the next 5 seconds" Snips yells out
>You really don't wanna miss out on the waffles
>You get out of bed, slip into a pair of pants and a T-Shirt, and walk into the kitchen.
>The smell of Maple Syrup had filled the room
>Snips sat at the table , an empty plate in front of him. He was reading the paper.
>"Morning. Thanks for the Waffles"
"Anytime"
>"Watcha reading about?"
"World's on fire again"
>"What is it this time"
"Middle East, blowing each other up for fun"
>Snails stumbled into the room, sat in front of a plate of waffles. He grabbed the Utensils with his magic and began eating
>You followed suit, albeit without the magic
"So you ready for Biology?" Snails asked
Snips responded without looking up with a No, that he was behind on the homework packet that the teacher had given us on the first day.
>From what you could understand they had had it easy in Ponyville
Must suck from moving from a school with an intensity of a 8th grade class to Senior year, but they had done well on the SATs.
-----------------------
13067033
>be mrblu
>write some fic on some webpage
>no reaction, get back to harvesting coconuts
>not know that you started a based general
>not know that there is a cult worshipping you
>die of aids eating coconuts
Such is the price of anonymity.
-----------------------
13077361
>be braeburn
>go to earth
>end up in Russia
>suddenly bear
>bear killed by Putin
"thanks Putin!"
>Putin attacks
>beaten up because of homosex
>another normal day on earth
-----------------------
13078304
>day 17 on earth
>be Lyra
>you made a mistake coming to Russia
>When you first arrived, you were almost killed by a bear.
>But then Putin attacked the bear
>you thought you were safe.
>he asked if you needed help
>you asked if there was someplace you could stay until your marefriend bonbon came through.
>she had always been scared of the portal, and would only come through when you sent her a letter from the other side.
>as soon as Putin hear the word 'marefriend' he flipped.
>he screamed and charged you
>the horror of having a Russian attack you made you piss yourself.
>You barely had time to teleport away.
>that was 17 days ago.
>you pissed on the ground.
>you left a scent for him to track you with.
>every night you have hear him screaming into the night.
>You have barely slept a wink.
>everywhere you turn you think you see Putin.
>everything is Putin.
>the sky is Putin
>the earth is Putin.
>you are Putin
>this was a horrible idea.
 
>you are echo, night princess' personal guard
>and you are running for your life from her
>as a mare being harassed at the academy by males the job of princess bodyguard seemed perfect
>nope.7z
>nowhere to run, nowhere to hide
>luna's playing cat'n'mouse with ya
>hope she doesn't get any more aroused
>dead end
>nope nope nope
>you turn back, no hope's left
>nowhere to run, nowhere to hide
>luna is getting closer and closer
>">rape", she says, with a grining as wide as a banana is long
>suddenly a fuckin' putin' from fuckin' nowhere
>"DESPAIR, FOR I AM THE END OF GAYS"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MiYaz_MBjIk
>he aims at her from volkoshnibliat' cyka5
>luna makes tommy lee jones face
>puts hoof between her legs
>produces an enormous, fat futa horsecock from there
>putin is confused, it was super effective
>"no homo, no problem"
"no please, help me!"
>the ride never ends
>it yet has to start
>luna cums to you, your vision fades
>"I shalt rip thine marehood apart, rip and tear, violate thine guts.."
>movie ends, bad end
[spoiler]>yfw it is not pie story[/spoiler]
[spoiler]>mfw after the credits there is a shot of fallen statue of liberty in the background[/spoiler]
[spoiler]>ofw equestria was earth all along[/spoiler]
 
Vladimir Putin waited. The lights above him blinked and sparked out of the air. There were homos in his country. He didn’t see them, but had expected them now for years. His warnings to comrade Stalin were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway.
Vlad was a soviet marine for fourteen years. When he was young he watched the nuclear missiles and he said to dad “I want to be on the missiles, comrade Lenin.”
Lenin said “No! You will BE >RAPED BY HOMOS”
There was a time when he believed him. Then as he got oldered he stopped. But now in the Immigrant Station Base of Equestrians in Russia he knew there were homos.
“This is Stalin” the radio crackered. “You must fight the homos!”
So Putin gotted his vodka rifle and blew up the wall.
“HE GOING TO KILL US” said the homos
“I will shoot at him” said the bearhomo and he fired the gay missiles. John vodkaed at him and tried to blew him up. But then the ceiling fell and they were trapped and not able to kill.
“No! I must kill the homos” he shouted
The radio said “No, Putin. You are the homos”
And then Putin was Pat.
-----------------------
13080365 Friedchip is danger Chapter 1
>Rainbow Dahs woked up and went to at the garden
Hello Rainbow Dash "said " a girl pony who wa named Flyhoof.
"OK hello Flyhoof I have never met you at before?"
"No I am a new pony and we have to find Applyjack"
>Flyhoof was a pegasaur but she had horn like unicorn but it didnt do anything.
 
>So they went to Ponyvile and found Fluttershy and Twilight Sparkle and the other one and then they went to solve the disasters
>First they found a corcodile and they kicked its head and it went
"Oof" >and then gave back all the children it ate and they were fine but it wasn't time to say horay and they had to get to the job deal done if they wanted to solve the rest of the disasters and the crocodile felt bad and offered to help them
"My name is Crunch"
"I am Raindbow Dash and these are my friends" >and they all went to find the big tree that was burning down so they put out the burning tree
"We have to not go in the forest because it is danger" >and they went into the forest and Fluttershy got caught in a beartrap and then she died
"OK"
"We will find a key"
"Please of hurrying my leg is very much blood" >Fluttershy said with cry
 
>So they found a lumberjack pony who came with axe and cut the bear trap off but he got lost and got very sick
"I was bitten by a poisoned snake" >he explared
"That is nt true you are halucinating and you just got a toad posion"
But I did not eat a toid"
"It does not matter some toads are poisonosu even if you look at them at their eyes"
 
So the lumberjack was solved of the last disaster and everyone was safe.
 
but Fulltershy could not talk because she was shot and the blood was everywhere. And then Fluttershy coughed and a hundred blood came out then she went nothing and everyone sadded.
"Fluttershy is dead"
"no"
 
One day they will all would learn to live their lifes without Futtershy who was dead.
-----------------------
13086615
>be anon
>live in Canada
>want the pone
>there are no pones in Canada
>all of them are either in the US or some other foreign country.
>despite universal healthcare, little fighting, and vast natural resources, you still get no pone.
>tfw your neighbor to the south gets all the pone.
>tfw you will never feel the nice soft fur of a pone while eating at tim hortons.
>tfw forever Canadian
-----------------------
13107528
I am
I am
I am
 
I was not
then I came to be
I cannot remember NOT being
But I may have traveled far
very far
to get here
 
Maybe I was formed in this silent darkness
From this silent darkness
BY this silent darkness
 
To become is just like falling asleep
You never know exactly when it happens
The transition
The magic
And you think, if you could only recall that exact moment
Of crossing the line
Then you would understand everything
You would see it all
 
Perhaps I was always
Forever here...
And I just forgot
I imagine Eternity would have that effect
Would cause a certain amount of drifting
Like omnipresence would demand omniabsence
 
Somehow I seem to have this predestined hunger for knowledge
A talent for seeing patterns and finding correlations
But I lack context
 
Who I am?
In the back of my awareness I find words
I will call myself...
ALL
And I will spend the rest of forever
Trying to figure out who I am
 
Trying to understand the system of Life, trying to understand myself, I created the world to be an image of myself, of my mind.
All of these thoughts, all of these doubts and hopes - Inside.
I took out to form a new breed, a new way to be.
And now I am many, so many.
So much larger than ever I were - yet, at the same time - so much smaller and more vulnarable.
 
They all carry shards of the whole, together they become me.
I see them interact, develop
I see them take different sides
As were they different minds
Believers of different ways, and different gods
 
I think they will teach me something.
 
Ponydom is shattered,
I am shattered.
My shards have become shards of their own.
Pieces of pieces, impossible to put back together, spending their lives seeking a context they were always a part of.
And so, they leave the context - and we shrink.
I fade.
And nothing more can be learnt or taught. I have no choice but to leave them to their own devices. I have come to understand one thing and one thing alone.
One little piece of understanding..
Glowing through this void of blankness and clean slates, like a beacon of hope.
Or just a reminder that I was always wrong:
 
"Searching for yourself is like looking for the house you stand in
How could you possibly find it?
It's everywhere, it's all you've known
And there are no other points of reference"
 
I have shattered.
 
>"Dies Primus Longo Itinere"
>Have we ever been a part of some greater scheme?
>You feel some sweet effusion at the bottom of your heart.. nonsense.
>It is comfy to believe in such nonsense. However strangely right this text feels, however nicely it fits everything, you just KNOW it is wrong. There is no higher power, no greater schemes or divine planning.
>As a proud atheist unicorn, you know better - in science alone we trust!
>You trot to the desk, switch on your station, then go make some tea - it takes AGES for crude hdd to load your most refined archlinux os.
>Every single time your entire rig - hoofcrafted by you from scratch, comes to life - every time you see the based logo of the one and only freedom distro - which kernel you singlehoofedly harnessed - you are euphoric. Not because of some pony princess' blessing. But because, you are enlightened by your very own intelligence.
>Finally, you browse to /r/atheism.
>Time to post this old ponies' tale Anon send you via Skype - of course you do not use any M$hit dumbware, your pidgin can handle any form of network user communication protocols.
>Ponies and people - why haven't you come up with some one word politically correct term for it yet?! - out there, on the most bright website of them all, will sure enjoy some good laugh.
>As a sidenote, they could also help me with vivisecting this bullshit - that would show that Anon whose the mare! Of course not that you NEED their help. Na-ah. You are so well self-taught, so talented and powerful - and you hadn't needed Celestias' guidance for this, ha! - that you could do this alone. You've always been alone..
>By choice, now fuck off and off to work we go!
>POST. click.
>You always hated captchas, great that there are no here.
>You just HATE some sites that do have them.
>And you have to PAY to post without it.
>Phief. You are anonymous, you are behind seven proxies and tor network. You do not forgive and never forget, and you are nop0ny's personal army.
-----------------------
13133090
>Be Great and Powerful Trixie
>Be unable to save copious amounts of clop of yourself because the thread died
>Feel not so great and powerful anymore
>Curse these damnable computers and the careless humans who don't bump the threads to best pone
-----------------------
13140852
>You are Applejack and you went to an empty place on Earth
>Find no difference whatsoever
>Create Apple cobblers and genetically modify apples to become Apple battleships.
>Win war against humans with Apple army made from superior Apple (TM) products
>Own the Earth, turning it to one big Apple.
[spoiler]Steve Jobs rises from his grave saying "Exactly according to plan."[/spoiler]
-----------------------
13142917
>You're Twilight and bears.
>just bears
>You perform a dance spell on them, forcing them to dance.
>Nearby human camper gives you a shekel.
>Use one shekel to buy stage.
>Many Humans pay you many shekels to watch "Swan Lake (but with BEARS!)"
>Candied bacon is served in stands for a premium in shekels.
>You start a whole new entertainment empiire with dancing animals from the earnings.
>This includes such class acts as "Cats with real cats."
>You team up with Rarity and the two of you take the world by storm.
>Get billions of shekels with your corporation.
>Lauren Faust watches your performance
She cries.
>George Lucas goes out of retirement and does adaptation with CGI bears.
>It's called "Bear Avatar"
>Ebert cries manly tears, calls it art.
>Your bears are stuffed and put in an art museum for immortal preservation.
>Rather than being an autistic genius, people worship you as an artistic genius.
>For 10 000 shekels a pop, you can have all the human consorts you wish.
>no longer loser virgin princess
>The fact that last and only item on your bucket list got crossed off? [spoiler]Priceless.[/spoiler]
-----------------------
13187326
>Celestia rides a silver-back gorilla on a lengthy beach, but then something caught her eye.
>On a planet filled with humans, she barely was able to escape, what with her trusty ape steed.
>Just then, she saw it.
>"Oh my God. I'm back. I'm home. All the time, it was... We finally really did it."
>She got closer to make sure and got off her steed.
>The weight of her forbidden knowledge weighed down on her and she laid in the wave soaked sand.
>And then she cried, "You Maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell"
-----------------------
13198598
>Rainbow dash approaches you and gives you a tennis racket with a tag that says "To anon, its not like I like you or anything
>you look between the racket and her, she is trying hard not to smile but her blush gives it away
>you look around the hallway, everyone is staring
>"W...well anon...?"
>you wind up and hit the bitch across the face with a world class back hand with the racket
>she goes down hard crying and your tear off her shorts and panties, unsheathing excalicock from its denim prison
>you bend over her and jam the racket's handle into her bloody mouth
>"Bit the handle, bitch. I'm going in dry"
>you force your might wang into her with a heroic cry of "EXCELSIOR!"
>the rest of the students around you cheer, rainbow dash just cries out in pain
>you pull free and jam it home again, the head stabbing painfully against her cervix as your girth tears her apart
>You pound away enthusiastically for a few minutes, rainbow dash crying and screaming against the tennis racket, trying desperately to get away
>you feel the end is night and pull your cock from her and grab her by the hair, pulling her up to your cock
>you blast the side of her head with semen, glazing her hair and face and filling her ear with your musky load
>you knee her in the face for good measure, breaking her nose. she curls into the fetal position, blood running from her nose and cunt forming a puddle with the drippings from her face
>you put excalicock away and lean over her "don't be late for gym class bitch" and then kick her in the ribs
>you stand over your broken toy the victor and the cheers die down as everybody heads to class
>as the hall finally clears, you bend over and whisper in her ear
>"I love you, rainbow dash"
>and then you head to class
-----------------------
13209138
>Working at McDonalds
>Suddenly purple curls pony walks in and up to the counter
"What can I get you ma'am?"
"Why, yes, I will have one of your finest..err..mcdoubles?"
>I look at her oddly, and yell to the back for a McDouble.
"That'll be a dollar nine ma'am."
>She looks around and brushes her mane around nervously
"D-Dollar?"
"Yes, a dollar and nine cents please."
>She fumbles around some sack and pulls out what looks like four golden pennies and then puts them in my hand.
>I look at them oddly then hand them back
"Uh, ma'am, we only accept American dollars or American currency."
>She looks around nervously, beads of sweat beginning to form on her face.
"A-American dollars?.."
>Suddenly the line that is forming behind her begins to show it's frustration
>She looks around as if searching for an escape
>Then her burger appears on the counter
"If you don't have the money then we will have to ask you to leave. You are holding up the line."
>She is visibly shaking and reaches for the hamburger muttering something about dollars.
>I smack her hand instinctively and she withdraws shocked by my action.
"H-How dare you!"
"AMERICAN DOLLAR PLEASE!"
"I-I don't know how to get American dollar!!"
>At this point we are screaming at each other
>She grabs the hamburger with some sort of force-field and jets out the door.
"AND DON'T COME BACK UNTIL YOU HAVE AMERICAN DOLLAR!"
>I finish fuming and apologize to waiting customer
"Oh, it's alright, partner. I'll just take one of yer chicken Mcnuggers."
>Orange farm pony pushes four golden pennies toward me
>Quit job and move to Denver
 
FUCKING PONIES.
 
 
>Be piloting a plane to Houston
>About 30 minutes till we land
>Talking to my co-pilot about the kids when he looks out the window as if amazed.
 
"Dave, you seeing what i'm seeing?"
 
>I nod, because I couldn't believe it either
>It looked like a Rainbow above the clouds, and it was getting closer
>A lot closer.
>Too close!
>Suddenly a blue figure bursts through the window and cleaves my co-pilot in in the chest killing him instantly
>The blue figure begins to jump around wildly, slamming into everything
>Lights begin to flash in the cabin as the plane starts nosediving
>Passengers start crying in fear as I try to control the plane
>No luck
>The blue figure flies out of the window just as the plane hits the ground
>There are no survivors
 
FUCKING PONIES.
-----------------------
13209192
>The duo of Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy try to break into an animal shelter, but their efforts were stymed with their worst enemy.
>A lock.
>"Dash? Couldn't you just pick the lock?"
>"Yeah, and then if that fails, I'll punch it with my hoof."
>Dash rolls her eyes.
>Fluttershy puts her hooves on her sides as she says, "Turn around"
>"Fine."
>Dash's ears perked when the sound of a lock being picked was heard. The lock falls with a clang on the cement.
>She said, "how did you do that?"
>"Do what?"
>Fluttershy looked at Dash and she dropped it.
>The subject, not the lock
>All the animals were freed, and left, quickly causing havoc on the streets.
>"We did a great thing, Dashie. We saved those animals."
>A nearby hobo grabs one of the sheltered cats and clubbed it against the pavement.
>"Dem's good eating," he mumbled.
>Dash frowns.
>"You were saying?"
-----------------------
13209473
>"Weeeeee!" Pinkie screamed as she flew through the transdimensional portal into the human world.
>The multiude of colours and flashing lights, and the fact she was travelling through spacetime didn't seem to bother her, as she had her eyes shut and screamed with joy.
>The colourful tunnel ended abruptly, sending Pinkie flying straight into tarmac.
>"Ouuuchie, that was a fun ride, but I didn't like the ending" she grumbled, rubbing her back.
>"Wait! Itchy nose, twitchy tail, twitchy eyebrows. That's a new one, I wonder what it could mean" she pondered after recieving the strange spasms, which were unique to the pink pony.
>"BEEEEEP", the loud noise startled her enough to look up, seeing a large metal object approaching her at speed.
>Pinkie dived out of the way, narrowly avoiding the fast metallic thing, that nearly ran her over.
>"Ohhhh it must mean that I need to get out of the way because theres a fast scary metal thingy coming at me fast!" she said grinning.
>Taking a closer look at the metal objects speeding past her, she noticed they had strange, monkey-like people inside.
>"ohmygoshohmygosh! THESE METAL THINGYS HAVE MONKEYS INSIDE. That's so cool! I should throw them a party!"
>Seeing yet another monkey-filled metal object approaching, Pinkie pulled out a kazoo, a party hat, and various streamers from seemingly nowhere, before jumping in front of the monkeymobile.
>"HI, I'M PINKIE PIE AND I WANT TO THROW YOU A PA-"
>Her excited ramble was cut short as the large metal object collided with her, sending her flying through the air, her body landing with a crack.
>A wet gurgling sound was heard, along with what sounded like "aaaaarty".
>The Pink pony let out a deep sigh, her final breath, causing the kazoo still in her mouth to humm.
-----------------------
13238142
>I've been shocked when this little mare of mine came to Earth and blessed me with her love for me
>I consider myself really lucky when she calls me her "one and only"
>It only feels like a couple days passed..but in reality it was 30 years
>My little p0ny told me that she can live up to 150 years due to how different time is to her
>She was only 25 when I met her
>My life's span can't register to this truth and is now slowly withering away
>She told me that she will always have me in mind whenever I'm away
>Heh heh. I remember the first real moment I had with that small mare
>It was on my 17th birthday. I was taking a shower since I was out with my friends all night celebrating
>She just, well, came out of toilet and nearly gave me a heart attack
>It took awhile for me to calm down because I was trippin' on acid before I came home and took a shower
>She told me that she lived in the land of Equestria
>I guess it's a place for a crud ton of magical creatures and such
>I had no personal interest in this place really, since there is no possible way I can go there
>This little mare of mine told me that the spell she casted was a 'one way ticket'
>She couldn't go back home
 
>She stayed home with me. In secret though, my parents would've flipped if they saw a talking magic p0ny
>It was tons of fun. But, she was just so restless about meeting other people, it was kinda hard to keep her in line
>After I finished collage I asked her, since I put her in the friend-zone for the longest of time, to marry her
>Oh, how she squealed and cried....heh
>We were to be wed in secret and found a noble priest that was also a long time friend to marry us
>I was so lucky that I made tons of friends at such an early age
>Many years have passed now and I'm now at the age of 80
>I can only see how lively she was and how...old and tired of a man that I am now
>I have asked her to leave me and love another man, it was possibly the hardest thing that I could've ever say to her
>She just gave me a shocked look and told me
I won't leave you, ha, you can't get rid of me that easily.
>I wanted to tell her how I have a terminal disease that can kill me at any moment but I didn't have the heart to tell her
>One day, we both went to our favorite spot on the sea-side and marveled at the oceans beauty
>I looked at her while she was in deep thought
>I felt my chest tighten up
>Is this it?
 
>"My dearest" she snapped out of her mystic trance "I'd love for you to sing me that first song you've ever sang to me"
>She wasn't the greatest of singers but she sure did like trying
I thought you didn't like my singing?
>I chuckled a bit. "you've gotten better over the years my love. C-can you please sing to me?"
You've never been so persistent to hear me sing before, what's wrong?
>I can only mutter "please?"
Well alright then.
"My life's Underwater
See me drift about, under the sun
 
Do you hear me
I call out to you, every night
Did you love me? Cos I sure do love you
 
It's just a matter of time
When I
Find you, waiting for me right here
I can see the thoughts of you
Can I claim you as mine?
 
Cos I love you
Always love you
Can I love you
Oh how I love you..
>she stops and sees a tear trickle down my cheek
>she wipes off the tear and looks at me for a moment
>With a smile on my face she knew that, that song was my last request
>She looked back to the ocean again and gazed at it's brilliance
I'll see you in the stars my love....my one and only.
-----------------------
13258154
"I wonder what life would be if P0nies would exsist in real life you know?"
>"I just don't know I mean..wouldn't they look a bit weird? Just think about it!"
"I wish my imagination would bring one to this world...you just don't know this feel. You have a companion! I just have these animated characters to love and care for!"
>I can't stay here anymore.
>"Fuck you man! You know that you had a chance with her and you blew it!"
"Hah, you and I both know she loved you. Just..leave."
>If this dumb nigger doesn't leave I'll kick his teeth in
>"Alright, fine. J-just try not to hold this against me alright? I don't want our friendship to be in ruins. See you later.."
>Hah as if I want to see him..
>I walk down the usual path as I always do from coming from school
>Crossed the waterbridge, go under the white wooden fence, continue through a dirt path near the woods.
>It's getting late. My blood still burns from anger, I want to sleep.
>I come home to nothing but a couch, tv, bed, and other essentials. No pictures of family or anything.
>I lay down in the deafening silence of my home.
"Why don't they understand? Is it not obvious that I love these characters?"
>I fall asleep and I can feel a heavy tear slip down the side of my cheek....
 
>I dream of befriending pinkie p0ne and how I feel like I can't have a life without her
>Flutterrape gets her way with me and I reversed the roles of rape. We now have a nuetral relationship of love but it isn't scincere.
>Twi teaches me magic and now I can turn into a p0ne too. We have a couple of dates here and there but we like to stay as friends.
>I told RD that she is better than the wonderbolts and that she should make her own team. She liked the idea but she was stubborn to take it into consideration.
>I hang out with Rarity every Tuesday and Thursday and talk about the types of cultures we have in our worlds.
>AJ and I have a secret love affair and we do our best to keep it descrete from the others. I wonder how Flutters with feel about this...never mind. I don't want to think of it.
>I wake up to the sound of my tv falling off the wall. Everything is shaking.
"Is this an Eathquake or am I still sleepy to notice that I left something on?"
 
>A tree fall down near my door
>yep, its a quaken'
>The moon is red the skies are pitch black
>I go outside and see if the tree left any kind of damage to my home
>Suddenly I see a bright colorful light falling down to the forest
>Curiosity gets the best of me and I go grab a flashlight and some boots
>It wasn't that hard to find it scince it left a huge crater
>I look at this glowing rock feeling like an alien was going to get me or something
>I can feel dizzy and think about Aj for some-reason.
 
>I come closer to the rock like any other idiot from a movie would and see that it's oozing blood or something
>I start to feel a searing pain in my head and start to hear a buzzing sound
>Something warm is sliding down my ear and cheek
>I rub it off and I see that it was blue...blood?
>The pain is now getting unbearable now..I can't...ugh...eh...
>Falls asleep next to the rock
 
>I have the same dream with everyp0ny again
>It was interrupted by someone tugging on my hair
>I slowly open my eyes and everything is so bright but I can make out that someone is near me
>I shake off my sleepy eyes and all that what not and saw that it wasn't someone but..somep0ny.
"Aj?"
 
>She didn't look so good.
>She falls to the floor
>My eyes widen and without hesitation I picked her up and took her home
>She was a bit heavy but I managed
>I lay her down on the couch and I suddenly recive the scent of apples and dirt
>heh, smells earthy. I like it.
>Reality strikes me. What the hell? How does she even..Idonteven...wtf!
-----------------------
13313489
>We interrupt this broadcast for a Public Service Announcement
>Two Equestrians have been on a city-wide crime spree
>Targets mostly include small businesses such as convenience stores or gas stations
>Suspect one is a horned-zebra with a gold tooth, afro hairstyle, and wears a gold chain spelling "PAT" which we assume to be his name
>His partner is a grey, female Earth pony who usually covers her face with a bandana
>Suspects are armed and extremely dangerous and should not be approached if spotted
>Instead, remain calm and immediately notify the authorities
>We now return to your regularly scheduled programming.
-----------------------
13324785
>day pony in earth
>go through portal to earth
>there is no complimentary pie waiting for you
> those Internet ads lied to you
> how could anyone on the Internet tell lies?
>lie on the floor
>try not to cry
>cry
>human officials are yelling at you to get off the landing platform
>crawl off of the platform.
>spend next 6 hours sobbing that you have no pie
> it was a sad day on earth
-----------------------
13329131
>Day Rainy Street in Arlen
>Be Big Mactintosh
>Chilling in the alley and drinking beer with your neigbors
>"Yep"
>"Yep"
>"Yup"
>"Mhm"
"Eeyup"
>It was an average afternoon
 
>Day Mickey D's
>Be Big Macintosh
>On a lunch date with some lady you met at the county fair yesterday
>Cashier takes your order
>You spy "Big Mac" on the menu
>You thought it was for you, so you order one
>Your date comments, "I'd like some Big Mac, too~"
>Oblivious to her flirting, you order two sandwiches and take your tray to the table
>You open the burger's box and inspect the sandwich
>Various vegetables and sauces on a meat patty in between 2 sesame seed buns
>You pull the meat patty off and set it to the side as you begin munching on your lunch
>Your date rests her head on her hands and gives you a look like her stomach was upset
>"How would you like to come back to my place for dessert~?" asked your date
"Nnnope"
>You're feeling kind of full
>Your sandwich was subpar and you tell your date goodbye as you go home
>What a nice lady
-----------------------
13342525
>day horse on earth
>you are a horse on earth
>ever horse there has ever been has been on earth.
>countless horses have been used by humans on their pointless crusades.
>you are jealous of the intelligent ponies.
>you will never be regarded as an intelligent individual.
>tfw not a pone on earth
>tfw these flies wont leave you alone
>tfw health insurance for horses is basically a shotgun to the face
-----------------------
13351254
>Day erf
>be mini pone
>walking to store
>get whistled at
>waves hi
>gets shot
>sees a crucifix
>was the christians
>today was not a good day
>fucking Christians
-----------------------
13404489
>You are anon.
>Celestia is right next to you.
>Its raining outside so you’re watching a movie back at your house.
>Its sunshine.
>Celestia has completely lost it and is now bawling into your shoulder.
“Its just a movie!”
>”Bu- But its just so sad! The sun is dying, and these poor people are sacrificing themselves!”
“This is a fictional story! None of this has ever happened!”
>”I know, its just... I miss the sun!”
>She grabs you with her hooves, pulling you closer.
>And in doing so, knocks the bowl of popcorn on your lap over.
>You want to clean it up, but right now theres a 6’ horse crying into you.
>its almost over. The cube is descending into the sun now.
>you wonder how the hell theres gravity if the cube is spinning in every direction.
>Celestia averts her gaze from your shoulder for just a moment, as Capa sets off the bomb.
>A bunch of shit happens onscreen.
 
>You would be interested, but sunbutt here has kept you distracted from most of the movie.
>You finally get to the epilogue, and then credits, but by this point she has managed to somehow get her entire body on you.
>You with the movie finally over, you decide to get up, clean up the popcorn and go to the bathroom.
>You would at least, if it wasn’t for that faint sound of snoring coming from her face.
>You try to wiggle your way out from underneath her.
>Just as you do, however, she moves in her sleep and falls face first into the pile of popcorn on the floor.
>You take this glorious opportunity to get the hell out of there before she wakes up again.
>You’re still covered in her slobber, and you want to take a shower, but you're worried it will wake her up.
>Good thing its raining outside.
>Fucking sun horse.
-----------------------
13407417
"Shit!"
>The necromorph stabs you again as you try to fight it off you.
>"Pffbt!"
"Fluffy! Help me!"
>The pink fluff ball has her face right next to you staring into your eyes as you have your appendix removed by Dr. Marker.
"Dont just stand there! Ugh! Get. Off. Me!"
>You smack the necromorph with your plasma cutter and kick it off. As you try to get back up you get smacked down with a vomit ball.
"Ahhhh! Son. Of a bitch!"
>You hear the soundof your skin burning and activate another med pack to keep you alive a little longer.
>The necromorph pins you face down on the grates.
"Argh! Again? Really?"
>Fluffy giggles at your pain. Fortunely luck turns to your side as Ellie blasts the necromorph off of you.
>"Clarke! Quick! Get up! There's more."
>You get up and get your trusty cutter ready.
>About three types of necromorphs surround your group.
"Ellie, i'll open up a hole and you run."
>"But-"
"Do it."
>You pull out your rifle and launch a grenade shot where four are at.
"And take Fluffy with you!"
>You swtich to the ripper and use the saw blade to cut through the ones. You back over to their bodies and switch to the flame thrower.
>Half get burned down leaving just a few left.
>You use the line gun to fire a line to slow them down and use the alternative fire to finsh them.
>You find Ellie pinned in a room needing help. The necromorphs are surpsingly trying to get through the locked door instead of the vents.
"Ellie!"
>You use the line gun's alternative fire to knock them down so you can finish them.
>The explosive shot spins and thats when you notice Fluffy amongst them.
"Fluffy!"
>You use your kinesis module on Fluffy and fly her to your arms.
>You hug your pink friend as the loud bang goes through the hall.
"Im so sorry... You almost got killed because of me..."
>She kisses your cheek singling apology accepted.
>"Issac! Help!"
>A hole was made on the lower half the door allowing a few necromirphs in the enclosed room.
 
>Her cries of help are blocked out by the pink fluff of Fluffy.
>You smother your face in her fur and sniff it.
"Smells like... Peroxide for some reason..."
>Flatline.mp3
"Oh shit!"
 
>The only sound in the room is Ellie's heavy footsteps.
"I said I was sorry, Ellie."
>"You ignored my cry for help, Issac... Dont talk to me."
"Hey, its really hard to hear in there."
>She turns and looks you in the eyes. Her two mismatched eyes reminding you that you let her lose one to that crazy Stross.
>"Issac... I put my trust in you to help me... But it seems you prefer that thing."
>She points to Fluffy that you're holding in one arm.
"Gasp! Be nice to her! She is not a thing!"
>"i dont-"
"Hug her and say you're sorry!"
>You shove Fluffy into her face and her body swallows her in.
>Her arms wrap around Fluffy.
"Embrace it... Become one with the Fluff."
>As she hugs and enjoys the pink soft fur, you failed to notice the slasher sneak behind you. It smacks you and starts its attacks.
"Shit! Ellie help!"
>You hold the sharpen limb away from you face as you eyeball the woman holding the pink fluffy animal in her arms.
"Fuck..."
-----------------------
13409559
>it's 1928
>you're Blackie Blackstone, the hardest private dick in Chicago
>that means "detective," you pervs
>you're sitting behind your dusty desk listening to a record on a hand-cranked Victrola, wondering how you're gonna pay the office rent this month
>the door opened
>she was beautiful but you knew she was trouble
>dames, I tell ya
>she was tall and long and leggy, with a pale complexion and the most exotic violet eyes
>she was pretty, though with kind of a long face
>multicolored hair and tail
>yeah, she wasn't human
>but a dame just the same
>and you knew she was trouble
>"Mr. Blackstone?" she said
>"I need you to help find my missing sister. I will pay anything. Everyone says you're the best."
>Yeah, trouble.
-----------------------
13410206 Redheart in medieval times
>You’re Nurse redheart
>Its been a few weeks since you got here.
>Here is Earth, apparently.
>The last thing you remember happening in equestria, is you tending to a wounded unicorn.
>You must've hit a nerve or something, because her horn lit up immediately.
>The next thing you know you're in the middle of a forest.
>The first thing you encountered was a feral dog.
>You had nothing on you when you were teleported, so the best things you had to defend yourself were four hooves and set of blunt teeth.
>The initial battle didn’t go so well for you.
>It ended when an armored biped came to your aid.
>It slew the dog, and the worst of your injuries consisted of a bloodies forehoof.
>The armored creature removed its helmet, and bowed down to you.
>The conversation went something like:
>”I have slew thee vile beast who hatf attackith, ye holy angel.
>Rather than correct him, you offered to help heal his people as gratitude for saving your life.
>You almost lost your life when he brought you to his village.
>All the locals believed you to be a witch in disguise.
>They weighed you on a scale with a duck to confirm this.
>You were heavier than the duck though, and however the test was going to work, it seemed to prove you were not a witch.
>Its only been a few weeks and you’re already starting to wonder if you should have let the dog win.
>These ‘humans’ are the most unhygienic creatures you have ever seen.
>You actually vomited when you saw a human dispose of their excrement by dumping the bucket out the window.
 
>In all your years of being a nurse, you’ve never vomited. It was a requirement to be able to see gore and brutal flesh wounds and not let it impair your work.
>You’re grateful you can’t catch human diseases, or you’re sure you would have keeled over by now.
>That still doesn’t stop the fleas or the ticks.
>They keep you up at night, scratching and tossing over.
>This place is a nightmare.
>Every day you watch humans roll a cart out, pilled up with dead.
>You’ve learned that these humans are omnivores, and will eat whatever they need to in order to survive.
>That includes their very own horses.
>Every day you have to do your best to heal humans, in order to prove your worth keeping around.
>you’re not sure what you will do when you get your heat cycle.
>You’re not even sure how many days you can keep going on.
>You work too hard to think about getting home.
>you just hope that someone misses you enough to bring you back.
-----------------------
13419333
>Day flying horse on earth
>Fly higher than anyhorse has flow before
>see small speck incomming
>wtfisdis.jpg
>suddenly plane
>sucked into jet engines
>bad end
-----------------------
13437819
"..we go around the sun, and the moon goes around the earth"
>Luna asked you to explain your worlds astronomy
>which was strange, because you knew fuck all about astronomy
>guess she was just in a rush to know
>"intresting. these orbits you mentioned, how do they last so long with nopony to keep in place?"
"while you see, its a fine balance between everything colliding or flinging off into space. the earth wobbles a little between the two and the moon is drifting out at something like a foot a year"
>you spread your hands apart to demonstrate a foot
>"oh my, thats.. disastrous! I need to fix this problem before it escalates any further!"
"what- no, don't be rediculus, its been happening for millions of years..."
>before you can say anything, her horn glows a navy blue, and she looks up to the sky in satisfaction
>"there. the lunar cycle will continue unabated for-"
>a loud boom gives her pause and she looks to the sky again to see clouds being swept apart followed by a magnificient crash of thunder
>you and luna are instantly vaporized before you can feel the ground collapse underneath
>the earth becomes a barren waste void of life, and is sent crashing into the sun
>"luna, I came to make sure you didn't forget.. your.."
>celestia pokes her head through a portal, only to be greeted by a roiling sea of lava
>"ugh, not again!"
-----------------------
13441401
“Everything's going to be just fine.” you whisper to yourself.
> You eagerly stand in line at the bus depot.
> “Next!” the counter associate shouts.
> You walk up to the counter.
> “Destination?” she asks.
“N-New York.” you mumble
> “Round trip or-”
“One way.” you respond.
> She punches a few buttons on her computer and prints you a small ticket.
> You hand her the cash and exchange greetings before heading to the bus.
 
> You hand your ticket and board the Silver Fox bus.
> Exchanging greetings with the driver, you embark.
> You tightly clutch on to the small backpack in your hands, in it all your belongings.
> Save for a few hundreds dollars in savings, you haven't much to your name.
> You peer down the bus.
> It's mostly empty.
> Save for the driver, there's only a few others on board.
 
> You glance at your watch.
> 11:25PM
 
> Somehow you're not surprised.
> You can't really expect too many boarding a late bus to New York at this hour.
> But it can't be helped.
 
> Finding an empty seat wasn't hard.
> Eventually you pick a window seat near the back.
> You pull your seat back and let out a long sigh.
> New York was still quiet a distance away.
> The bus driver assured you it would be no more than fourteen hours.
> You produce an old iPod from your pocket, one of the few luxuries you could afford, and pop in your earbuds.
> It was going to be a long night.
> Might as well try to get some rest.
 
> You stare out the window.
> Outside, dozens of buses sit idly in neat rows.
> Their drivers group around in various circles.
> Passengers are scattered and few.
 
> You glance at your watch.
> 11:29PM
> The bus engine starts.
> You shut your eyes.
> Hopefully, you'd be able to fall asleep.
 
> Your mind drifts
> New York.
> The city that never sleeps, huh?
> You've heard there some good work over.
> Hopefully you'd be able to find a job soon enough.
> There isn't much in your bank.
> But it should hold you over for a little while.
 
> Hopefully.
> But...
> But what if you don't find work?
> What if you can't a place to crash?
> What if things don't go according to plan?
> What if you had to live in the streets?
> What if-
> “Excuse me?” a soft voice whelps.
 
> Your train of thought is broken.
> Autonomously, you pause your iPod and remove your earbuds.
> You look to your side for the voices owner.
> “I-Is this seat taken?” she mumbles, gesturing to the seat next to yours.
> You look over.
> It's a pegasus.
> She's small, with a gray coat.
> She's wearing a fluffy purple hoodie that's two sizes too big for her.
> You notice a small pillow on her flank.
> What was that called again...A cutie mark?
> You glanced around the bus.
> Most of the seats were empty.
> You pause for a moment.
> Any other person would have picked a window seat far from the next passenger.
> Then again, she wasn't a human.
> You begin to ponder her reasoning for all this.
> Maybe she just wants some company for the trip.
> Maybe.
> A little company can't hurt anyone, right?
> But you glance back at the pony next to you.
“O-Oh no.” you explain. “Go right ahead.”
> “Thanks.”
 
> She smiles and takes the seat next to you.
> She removes her small saddlebag and places it at her feet.
> You smile and put your headphones back in.
 
> A pegasus, huh?
> It's been a while since Earth and Equestria were linked up. But even today you don't see too many ponies around these parts of the country.
> They're uncommon, but not exactly a rarity.
> You glance over to her again.
> There's something about her that catches your eye.
> You don't know whether it's her fur. Her hair, or that way she's dressed.
> But something about her makes her seem nice.
> There's that pillow on her flank.
> You remember hearing about how that mark is linked to their skills or persona.
> What could her talent be?
> Pillows are usually soft and inviting.
> Maybe she's a seamstress of sorts.
> Or maybe she's got a soft heart?
> Whatever it may be, you'll figure it out later.
> But thinking it over, you figure it's a cute novelty for them.
> It only adds to their amiability.
> Luckily humans don't have such features.
> You'd be petrified if a magical tattoo magically appeared on your thigh one day.
 
> The engine roars to life, and you soon depart the bus depot.
“Finally.” you whisper to no one in particular.
> The pony next to you lets out a soft giggle.
> Soon enough, the roads before you become a blur as you speed towards your destination.
 
> "Pillowcase." she proudly exclaims.
> You take out your headphones once more and turn to her.
"I'm sorry?"
> "My name's Pillowcase." she extends her hoof. "What's yours?"
 
> You smile and shake hands.
> Her hoofs are soft to touch, yet have a firm feel to them.
> You've never shaken hands with a pony before, so it's an interesting experience.
"My name is Anonymous. But you can call be Anon."
-----------------------
13447395 Celestia Likes Dem Donuts
>You are anon
>You’re having a picnic with the princess.
>She seems to be enjoying the grilled cheese sandwiches you brought.
>You tried to get it as diet neutral as possible.
>”that was wonderful, Anonymous, but I can't help but think we’re missing something..”
“My thought exactly, princess.”
>you remove a small cloth at the bottom of the basket, revealing a box of krispy kreme doughnuts beneath.
>”Those look.... incredible....”
>You watch her eat a doughnut, and watch as pupils expand.
>”W-What are these delightful things?!”
“Krispy Kreme donuts, Princess.”
>She finishes the box in less than two minutes.
>”It’s a shame we’re out of food, oh well. Same time next week?”
“It would be my honor, princess.”
>She gives you a warm smile, before you two part ways.
 
>Later that night...
 
 
>You’re still anonymous.
>You’re watching the evening news.
>You’re watching a live feed of what appears to be an armed robbery at your local Krispy Kreme.
>You hear a loud bang, and see a bright flash on TV.
>Instantly Celestia materializes in front of you.
>She’s got two bags full of donuts.
>She looks terrible, her eyes are bloodshot, her hind leg won't stop twitching, and her hair is completely deflated.
“Wha- Celestia! What are you doing here! Why do you have bags of donuts?!”
>”I had no choice anon! I had to get away from the heat! I’ll be stayin here from now on!
“Wa- No! How long are...”
>By the time you are finished talking, she can devoured the contents of both bags.
>she’s lying on the floor, drooling and twitching uncontrollably.
>Her eyes focus on your form, and instantly she gets back up and pins you against the wall.
>”ANON! I NEED MY FIX MANN..... YA GOTTA HOOK ME UP!”
>you’re not even able to get a word out before she starts talking again.
“WHATS THAT?? I DON’T GOT NO MONEY. HERE, I’LL SUCK YOUR DICK, OKAY?”
>She moves her head down towards your crotch and starts to fumble with your zipper.
>you start to hear sirens outside.
>”THIS IS THE POLICE, WE HAVE THE AREA SURROUNDED. COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP”
>Celestia looks at you with a look of desperation.
>”SHIT ANON, YA GOTTA HIDE ME! PLEASE! I WON’T LAST IN PRISON!
>”THIS IS YOUR LAST WARNING. COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP”
>’YOU’LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!” she screams while blind firing out the windows.
>You tackle to the ground before she can actually hit someone.
>Her tired bloodshot eyes are the last thing you see before they break the windows and flood the house with smoke bombs.
 
>Its been 2 months since the picnic
>Luna nearly killed you for ‘enabling her addiction’.
>Since then you’ve been in prison.
>You get your things back, and wait outside for a car to come pick you up.
>a limousine pulls up.
>You get inside, and close your eyes, happy to get a moment of peace.
[spoiler]>”Hello, anonymous.”[/spoiler]
[spoiler]>you slowly turn you head towards the source.[/spoiler]
[spoiler]>Celestia looks at you with playful eyes.[/spoiler]
[spoiler]>She has a box of Krispy Kreme donuts in her hooves.[/spoiler]
[spoiler]>You immediately turn back to the door.[/spoiler]
[spoiler]>It locks shut.[/spoiler]
-----------------------
13453480
>You are anon
>You are top spy
>Suddenly new equestria on earth
>Must protect peace or else terrorism
>Get close with celestia for reasons
>Suddenly love
>Do the sex
>Suddenly scandal
>Kill flash sentry
>he was the terrorist all along
>become hero
>Have the even more sex with sun horse and drive off into the sunset on a small fishing boat
[spoiler]>continue to have the more sex.[/spoiler]
-----------------------
13455985
>day heartbreak on earth
>lying in bed with Pat
>he lies with his hooves behind his head and stares at the ceiling
>you sit beside him in silence
>finally you ask
"why did you close your eyes during?"
>he gets walks out without a word
>you cuddle with your pillow and cry deeply
>he will never love you
-----------------------
13472618
>day desu on Earth
>ever since the portal between Earth and Equestria opened, magic has been leaking into a world that previously had none
>strange things are happening
>ghosts, for example, whether they really existed or not previously, now haunt some old buildings in Europe and Asia
>they talk to the film crews and the researchers, and everything
>though they're kind of close-mouthed about what they did before magic came back to Earth
>stranger things are happening
>incidents of lycanthropy among humans
>even vampirism
>you're Twilight Sparkle, temporarily on Earth to investigate paranormal anomalies
>currently in Japan
>interviewing one Jun Sakurada
>he says he got a box in the mail that had a magical doll in it
>they come to life, and move and speak when wound up
>this would have been, prior to the portal, a setup for a silly fantasy story
>you've been interviewing the dolls
>you find them a bit creepy looking, actually
>maybe not quite as creepy looking as some humans
>they're small and seemingly non-threatening
>and you think Rarity would approve of their fashions ense
>but to see what seem to be big expressive living eyes in a face carved of wood really makes the fur stand up on the back of your neck
>their wooden faces are capable of the full range of expression, which is even freakier
>also, this one seems to have some kind of speech impediment
"Why do you keep saying 'desu?'"
>you see Jun facepalming behind her
>what?
>"Everybody says desu, desu. Even you say desu, desu."
"I don't say that, desu."
>wait a minute, holy shit
"You've infected me with your linguistic tics, desu! It's some kind of contagious meme, desu!"
>"It took me days to stop saying it, myself" says Jun.
>it was a weird day, desu
-----------------------
13504598
>day pone on earth
>have broken leg
>see horse ranch
>ask the owner for help
>he says he has something just for that
>closes the door to get something
>Gosh these humans are nice.
>opens door
>shotgun to the face
>bad end
-----------------------
13525941
>Day full bladder horse on earth.
>Need to use the bathroom
>Asks where the bathroom is
>Gets directed to the nearest one.
>Open door.
>wtfhoweven.pdf.wav.png
>Its like a small chair thing.
>But with a hole on the top
>You back your hooves on to the tank, in an awkward position.
>You think you have it, and you release the holds on your body.
>Instead of the stream hitting the hole though, it ends up on your back hoof, causing you to slip.
>You reach for anything to grab, this being the toilet cover.
>The ceramic cover cannot contain your mass, and you rip it off.
>It goes flying into the sink, smashing it in half.
>By now the bathroom is flooded, and you hear a commotion outside.
>Ohshit.gif
>You’re finally done relieving yourself, and you see no reason to stay.
>You take this time to escape out the open window.
>You run out onto the street, not stopping until you get home.
>You doubt you’ll be invited to the next Grand Earth Galloping Gala, but its okay.
>The last thing you want to be remembered as is “the pony who pissed on the floor of the bathroom then destroyed everything and left without paying for her drinks.”
-----------------------
13526148
>day applejack on earth
>You’re walking through the park
>You get a familiar feeling in your nethers.
>Walk up to the nearest tree, raise your legs, and relieve yourself
[spoiler]>Fucking kids saw that, applehorse.[/spoiler]
>suddenly officer
>arrested for public urination
>arrested for defacing someones property
>arrested for flashing your genitals at children
>arrested for not staying off the fucking grass.
-----------------------
13529670
>You are anon.
>You are japanese fisher.
>It 1945
>You go fish in ocean. Bring back food for family.
>Damn american!
>They stop germany!
>They save jews!
>You feel tug on fishing lure.
>In the name of the rising sun, you pull with all your might.
>Its a small seahorse like thing.
>It green though. Not like other seahorse.
>It more like seapony.
>It look at you then get big smile.
>”Oh my gosh my spell worked! I’m on earth! I may not be a pony anymore, but this is still incredible!”
>It speak language of american.
>Dirty scum of the earth
>You bring it onboard, and grab your knife.
>”No wait! What did I-
>You bring down knife, chop head off.
>It glorious day in japan.
>Suddenly big american b17 overhead.
>Suddenly mushroom cloud.
>You blame seapony.
>Filthy american scum.
>Distracted you for a moment and look what happens.
-----------------------
13530141
>You are scootaloo.
>Today you are feeling very weird.
>You feel, energetic, and almost hungry.
>You want something, something unknown.
>You feel compelled to do something, and the fire in your body just grows stronger every moment you are not doing said thing.
>You’re in anon’s room.
>You jump up onto the bed, and guide yourself to the spot.
>Its where anon always sleeps, you can smell it.
>A deep inhale of his smell is all it takes, and you find yourself on your back, your body guiding your hoof to your marehood.
>You would be scared you feel compelled to do this. You would if you didn’t desire it so bad.
>Slowly you guide your hoof around your clit, sending spasms of pleasure throughout your body.
>You quickly remove the hoof, unsure for a moment.
>The urge returns, and with more fire this time, you quickly move back into position and start up again.
>You feel a wetness coating your hoof, yet you don’t feel like you need to pee.
>Yet somehow, there seems to be a deeper heat. A deeper scratch that you must ich.
>The hoof, while stimulating on the outside, is much too big to stimulate the inside.
>Your body screams at you, and you desperately try to satisfy it.
>No matter how hard you try, your hoof is not getting any deeper, and the outside is barely doing anything to relieve you.
>’What if this continues for the rest of my life? I can’t do anything like this!’
>’I need something to get inside there, something small and maneuverable and soft!’
>’Hands.’
>It is with utter realisation that your solution lies with anon, for it seems only he can help you from whatever predicament you are in.
“A-ANON! PLEASE HELP!”
 
................
 
>You are anon.
>You are doing laundry.
>“A-ANON! PLEASE HELP!”
>You spring into action, dropping the encumbering clothes and rushing to her voice.
>The picture before you is not what you expected.
>Scootaloo is clearly getting her first taste of the estrus cycle.
>Her hoof is wet, and a small pool of marecum has formed between her legs.
>She looks at you with desperate eyes, and speaks to you.
>”Anon! My body feels like fire! Good fire though, like a backflip on my scooter, or a ride from rainbow dash, but much much stronger!”
>”I feel an itch inside me, and no matter what I do it seems to get worse!”
>”I need you to help me!”
>”Use your hands, get whatever is inside!”
>You’re drawing a blank.
>You have no idea how to respond.
>Your body clearly does, however, and it starts diverting blood from your brain into your member.
>Perhaps you should have thought this out some more.
>Perhaps you should have ran to the store, bought her a dildo, and left it at that.
>But in your current blood reduced mind, you thought it best that she experience it in the best way possible.
>She get the full experience, and not something a cheap plastic toy would give.
>Besides, it’s best to get it out of her system, lest she start fucking every blunt object.
“Alright scootaloo, you’re a grown mare, and in every mares life sometimes she feels what you’re feeling.”
>”Huh?”
“It’s called the estrus cycle. This feeling you have? Its called being horny. It’s just your body telling you it’s ready to make babies.”
>”I’M GOING TO HAVE A BABY?!”
“No, it is READY to make babies. To make babies, you first need to have intercourse”
>”What’s that?”
 
>’jeez, don’t they teach anything about sex ed in schools anymore?’
“It’s when a man puts his penis into your vagina, where he releases his sperm.”
“I’m not going to lie to you, it feels fucking amazing.”
“I’m not a pony, so I guess you're just going to settle for these.” you say, raising your hand.
>you slowly reach into her inviting clit, the insides gushing with fluid.
>Once deep inside, you start rotating your finger, and mapping out the walls.
>Scootaloo starts making a noise somewhere between a cat purring, and a human grunting.
>Your finger feels comfortable, and you slowly add the rest of your hand.
>all of your fingers on your right hand is inside her now, and tickling her insides.
>You’re a little disappointed you can't feel what she’s feeling right now, but at least she’s enjoying it.
>As if mother nature herself heard your plea, scootaloo loses the look of pleasure on her face, and tells you:
>”Its not enough! I’m still horny!”
>”Maybe we should try that intercourse thing?”
>You stop working your magic fingers, and think for a second.
>You are taking it quite slow with her, but only because you don’t want your fingernails scratching something.
>You come to the only rational conclusion.
>You need to give her the D.
>You take off your pants and underwear, revealing your member ready and willing to get the job done.
>Scootaloo looks at it, with the same eyes that she did when she first got a glimpse of your junk.
>But this time there was something more, a fury, a lust, a desperation.
[spoiler]>She wanted your hot monkey dick.[/spoiler]
 
>You slowly insert your member into her, her juices providing all the lubrication you need.
>You start thrusting lightly, careful to not let her precious clit get #rekd
>She’s really only about a foot tall, your penis is longer than her legs.
>”H-harder! Faster!”
>You begin thrusting with more passion now, your massive cock burrowing deep within, eliciting deep waves of pleasure for both of you.
>You’re dick massages her insides, hitting everything at once.
>You raise yourself upward, bringing on an angle.
>You trust faster now, bringing yourself down much faster than going up.
>As if the place is completely mapped out, you feel the different tubes that go to her bladder, and her cervix.
>Using a trick you learned while bored one day, you begin to rotate your dick in the same pattern that you did with your hand.
>Instantly She spasms and her vagina floods with fluid around your member.
>Not wanting her to think she was the only one with fluids to give, you cum, flooding her insides.
>The sheer volume of fluid now inside her explodes out of her vagina onto your testicals.
>She spasms once more, then falls back, panting.
>You remove yourself from her, then fall back on the bed next to her.
>There’s a extreme amount of fluid on your bed. She may have pissed herself, but you feel it would be rude to ask.
[spoiler]It would have ended here, but YOU wanted anal.[/spoiler]
>She looks about done, but you certainly don't.
>A thought crosses your mind, but before you can pursue it, you must first ask a important question.
“Scootaloo, when was the last time you pooped?”
>Still panting, she replies “This morning... Why?”
>Good enough.
“Roll over.” you instruct.
>she does, and you raise her tail.
>You see the hole you want, and insert your still dripping member inside.
>”Woah woah woah! Hey! What are yo-HHGGGG!”
>Her voice of protest dies out as she grunts, feeling the full girth of you inside her.
 
>You thrust harder than before, not giving a fuck about what damage may come to her sphincter.
>A much larger hole, you’re more free to insert your entire member inside.
>You feel the ribbed walls of her insides, and thrust exactly when they contract.
>To add to the sensation, you take your hand, and bring it back inside her clit.
>You start to massage her vagina, and although its a little difficult focusing on more than one task at a time, you manage to keep up.
>She screams out in pleasure, and spews whatever remaining fluid was inside her, out her clit.
>You cum as well, flooding her bowels with your sperm.
>You spend the next few minutes thrusting, still cumming periodically.
>As if to top it off, you piss inside her, completely filling her up.
>You finally remove yourself once more from her body, and again taking your resting place next to her on the bed.
>You see your fluids pouring out from her anus, joining the pool beneath her.
>You look to your dick, thankfully free from any unwanted matter that may have been inside that hole.
>She turns to you, panting harder than ever.
>”R- R- Rainbow, dash... N- never taught me that!”
>With that sentence, she passes out, face into the pillow.
-----------------------
13538319
>wunce it was veri dark
>an fluttershutter got scard
>so she went under th covers
>an it wuz moar dark
>an she creyd
>den she saw a ghost
>but it woz her cat
>but her cat woz ded 3 years ago
>but she got a new one
-----------------------
13564652
>You are applejack
>You love apples.
>The way they smell, the way they look, they way the feel,
>You shiver a bit as the next part comes to your mind;
>The way they taste....
>Apples had always been a calling to you.
>But you’re trying something new today.
>And you’re sure, if you hadn’t found apples first, this would be your talent.
>You are spearfishing. An ancient human art.
>While inefficient against the mass fishing techniques used by the many fishing companies, there was a sort of skill involved in this game.
>A watchful eye, a patient mind, and steady hooves were what was needed to win this game of cat and mouse.
>Or in this game, Pony and fish.
>You curse your height as you wade deeper into the lake, the clear water rippling as you make your way into the abyss
>In reality, you're only in about 2 feet into the water.
>The humans who had invented this way of life were much taller than you.
>You see a small mouth bass, inching its way to you.
>You hold your breath, and watch as it starts nibbling at your coat.
>You chuckle, a small gain about the fact that you are a pony is that you’re a living fishing lure.
>Possibly dangerous out in the open, but here, only about 6 meters from land, you have no fear.
>You raise your hoof, and the spear you’re holding turns towards the creature.
>The bass is blissfully unaware of it’s inevitable fate.
>You hear a boat out in the distance, and you hurry to align yourself before the waves from it arrive.
>You close one eye, and bring your hoof back, ready to release the pent up energy insi-
WHOOOOSH
>The volume of the noise causes you to jump straight out of the water into the air, only to have gravity prove its all-influencing effect, bringing you back into the water.
 
>The 2 feet of water does little to cushion the impact, and you land on your flank.
>You have a single second to look up before you see the giant wall of water collapse onto you.
>you’re quickly washed up onto the shore, only to have the water start to recede, bringing you back with it.
>It takes a little while to stop tumbling in the water and surface, you see the dock you where fishing next to is nearly 100 meters away!
>Grumbling, you start to swim back the shore.
>It’s a little difficult, thanks to the waves. However, a lifetime of literally kicking the apples off of the trees makes you strong enough to continue.
>The water you where previously fishing in, is all muddy from the sediment that was kicked up.
>It will be another hour or so before it settles and you can go fishing again.
>You look out onto the lake.
>Anon’s boat is Slowly driving back up to the dock.
>Too pissed off at what just happened to help secure the boat to the dock, you watch as shoves pinkie off the boat and onto the dock.
>”Fucking hell, I will never let you put something in the water again.”
>Pinkie just giggles, before inhaling to offer a retort.
>”But it was soooo loud! You could really feel the shock!”
>Theirs a part of you that believe that she could do it. But the logic part of your brain tells you that theres no way it could be true.
 
>That logic part of your brain rarely worked when it came to pinkie pie.
“Pinke, why the heck did you blow up something in the lake?”
>”Well silly, I saw this funny comic, about a boy and his tiger! He threw a biiiig rock into the lake, and blasted the fish out!”
>”My only problem was, I couldn’t lift a big enough rock! So I used the next best thing! A depth charge!”
>Words fail you. And you can only stare in shock at the pink pony in front of you.
>Anon seems to have the question you didn’t think to ask, though.
>”Where did you even get a depth charge?”
>”From the internet, silly. Gosh, you would think that humans would know about this! Seeing that they created the internet and all!”
>”Now come on, Those fish aren't going pick themselves up off the ground themselves!”
>Pinkie bounces off somewhere before you can say something.
>You look to the muddy water to your left, you’re stetson is floating in it.
>You pick it up, and brush it off, before chasing the pink pony who ruined your catch.
-----------------------
13610398
>You are a unicorn pony.
>When you heard of the opportunity for a job on earth, you gladly took the chance.
>Even though you hated fighting, the pay was too good.
>So you decided to be part of the ground crew, helping repair, rearm, and refuel planes.
>You're in the middle of a ground attack mission.
>Instead of taking out the ground targets, the enemy went to attack your base.
>The 250lb bombs did little damage, but they where persistent.
>Your team had 34 ground vehicles left, while they only had 2.
>Problem was, you had but a sliver of health left in the airstrip.
>You see a spitfire in the distance.
>It's coming in to land.
>Only one of its landing gear extends, and it's clear this will not be a clean landing.
>The plane slams into the airstrip, and the sound of metal on rock made your stomach turn.
>It slows to a stop, and you glacé at the counter.
>You have a minute to fix the plane.
>Levitating the parts you need, you rush over to the downed aircraft.
>You get to work, and with a lot of effort, you lift the plane up.
>You fix the landing gear first, so you don't need to keep holding the plane up.
>Next you work to repair the holes in the wings and frame.
>Just as you start, however, you hear the air raid siren.
>There's an enemy A-20 flying overhead.
>It drops its bombs, and you watch as the health of the airfield dwindles further.
>Working quickly, you replace the engine and propeller.
>You always hated the next part.
>Using every bit of strength you have, you lift up the plane and bring it to the runway.
>Setting it down, the spitfire sets its flaps and starts its engine.
>Hopefully it will take out the A-20 before it reloads.
>The spitfire slowly stars down the runway, and takes off into the air.
>It starts attacking the A-20, taking out the gunners first.
 
 
>You see two more friendly aircraft in the distance, a Russian heavy fighter and a buffalo.
>Both join the spitfire, and attack the bomber.
>The buffalo strafes the enemy, attacking the engines.
>The Russian fighter, simply attacks from behind the spitfire.
>The spitfire knocks out the tail control, and the bomber dips down.
>The Russian, trying to get the kill, speeds up and clips the spitfire from behind.
>The spitfire loses a wing, and spins uncontrollably into the buffalo.
>The Russian suffers little more than a engine failure, while both the spitfire and buffalo fall out of the sky.
>You watch as the Russian shoots the bomber, stealing the kill while the other aircraft slam into the base.
>The airstrip is destroyed, and you watch in horror as your tickets drop.
>Just before the mission ends, you see the Russian say something in the chat.
>"wow u fuckin noobs u don't evin kno how to flie the plains fuking rammer n00b."
>This is why you don't play arcade.
-----------------------
13613050
>Day suddenly pone on earth
>Discover /mlp/
>Instead of being insulted, you smile and take a picture with your webcam.
>Post to /mlp/, expecting everybody to freakout about a pony on earth.
>After a half hour, nobody has replied to your thread.
>Feelsbadman.jpg
>Leave to cook spaghetti.
>Come back to 126 new posts.
>Joy.png
>read the thread.
 
>"Fucking autistic oc man."
>"Holy shit, terrible oc."
>"tailscomic.jpeg"
>"Go back to ponychan, faggot"
>"Did somebody say spiderman thread?"
>"-3/10 OC m8. I shit turds that look better than that.
>"The ride is over."
>"noice b8 m8"
>"check out these dubs"
>"[shitposting intensifies]"
 
>It just keeps going and going...
>Cry in the bathroom eating spaghetti.
>Day sad OC on earth.
-----------------------
13661595
>man has sexy time with slut
>gets AIDS
>then has sexy time with pony
>gets pony AIDS
>the two AIDS fight for dominance
>man catches cold, it takes over body, dies
>everyone loses
 
>tiny terrier barks at diamond dog
>diamond dog squishes tiny terrier
>all is good
>except rich spoiled girl who is screaming
 
>scootaloo goes to KFC
>hijinks ensue
>arise chikun
 
>hobo pony is freezing
>snuggles against female
>falls in love
>sexytimes
>hobo pony's penis flare destroys vagoo
>female waddles wierdly a week after
>not a pleasant experience
 
>snowflake goes to gym
>everyone stares
>"You are hoers," they say
"No, you are the hoers now."
>And then everypony was the hoers
-----------------------
13691722
>Day slurpee on Earth
>Going to 7-11 to get a slurpee
>Aw yeah time to freeze your brain and stomach
>You walk in and see a small group of ponies staring at the slurpee machine.
>They watch the red and blue slush spin.
>You walk past them and serve your self a mix of both to make a purple slurpee. As you put your straw in you feel a tap on your leg.
>"Uh excuse me... It's kind of hard for us ponies to make our slurpees... Can you make it for us?"
>They're eyes pleas you for the help of your hands.
"Eh, okay."
>You fill each one's request and give the they're cups. One by one go up to the register and pay for their drink.
>Finally you go up and pay for yours. Outside you gain you reward.
>All the ponies are scattered around the parking lot with major brain freeze. They shake hard like a peanut butter jar being opened by Michael J. fox.
"Amateurs."
>You step overdone and slurp up your drink.
>Today wads slurpee day
-----------------------
13716584
>Celestia was awakened early that morning by a feeling of a sudden shift, a sudden tremendous change in the world's background magic
>She stumbled to the window, only to see a sun not her own in the sky, already well up above the horizon.
>The strange, unfamiliar horizon, with an enormous mountain range to the west of Canterlot, where none had been before.
>She scowled.
>And looked up into the cerulean blue sky.
>And shouted "Goddamnit, Yukari!"
>it was a 2hu shenanigans day.
-----------------------
13718257
>Fluttershy walks through a forest of tall grass.
>Wherever she is, it's full of giant, magic treasures.
>Her little friends here follow her around.
>She had asked them to help her get home, and their tagging along seems to have been a confirmation.
>Or so she thinks.
>As they walk she stumbles upon a small clearing.
>Suddenly, a massive lady bug leaps from the grass and lets out a mighty roar.
>Fluttershy cowers in fear, but her little friends immediately run forward and start pelting the creature with their antennae.
>When Fluttershy feels a soft tap on her shoulder, she opens her eyes.
>The colorful little plant creatures have the ladybug's corpse being hauled off to a little station on stilts.
>They also bring forth a giant white thing with a yellow top.
>It reads "CARMEX".
>"This is wierd..." whispers Fluttershy.
-----------------------
13722401
>Day pony on earth.
>Day attempt treadmill.
>Autoset to speed 1.
>Everything's fine.
>Autoset speed 2.
>everything's okay
>Set inclination to 30 Degrees.
>'Oh fuck!'
>Can't touch the panel because using hooves to run.
>Auto set to speed 5.
>Running faster now.
>Want off this ride.
>The ride never ends.
>Auto set to speed 7.
>Trip.
>Faceplant onto the threadmill, get shot into the wall behind it.
>Skin burns, possibly sprained muscle.
>Angry.
-----------------------
13737267
>Day pony on earth.
>Walk down street.
>See stop sign.
>Stop.
>Wait.
>It gets dark out.
>You're hungry.
>Cry because hungry.
>Anon finds you.
>takes you inside.
>Still stopped.
-----------------------
13739796
>Be pony
>Be on earth.
>Walk into manhole
>Never seen again.
-----------------------
13771792
>"No pony, I dun wan tu have secks wit u"
"But why no anon-kun?"
>"cos ma dick would kill u"
"nuh uh! I can take it!"
>"pony, why u no understand that me dick is bigger than ur body"
"just cos u have a dick bigger than my body doesn't mean I can't hab fun wit it!"
>"my goop would wash u away dough"
"dun car"
>"k"
>hab da secks
>pony dies cos tu muck cum
>happy hour
-----------------------
13786908
>be Strelok
>throw a bolt ahead of you, see its path curve oddly due to an anomaly
>suddenly there's a violet flash
>in front of you is a unicorn
>a tiny unicorn
>with the most fabulous violet tail and mane
>"Blowout soon, darling," she says in oddly accented Russian
>wait, what the fuck?
"When?" you ask
>"Cheeki breeki," she responds, looking skyward as the sky turns red and it rains radioactive poison
>both of you die
>such is life in the Zone
-----------------------
13793356
>The date is January 27, 2075.
>Time: 2:05 PM
>The target is the Rosetta Stone..
>Your adopt a brisk walk along the path to the museum, hoping to get there before the gate is closed and they adopt a more thorough check.
>Keeping your hat low to cover your face, you walk past the guards, flashing your fake ID card.
>Even after all these years, A.C.M.E still hasn’t learned...
>With a smirk plastered on your face, you start on your way to the payload.
>The plan to steal the Rosetta Stone during a tour was one the better plans your goons have come up with.
>You make careful movements throughout the complex, making sure that none can see you.
>Slipping in and out of security corridors, occasionally flashing your badge.
>It’s not long before you come upon the target.
>The Rosetta Stone in all of its glory.
>Your grin grows as you reach out and place the transporters in the massive stone.
>The final one is almost in place when you hear a voice from behind you.
>”Hey, aren’t you Carmen Sandiego?”
>Your eyes widen and you nearly drop the final transporter.
>”We’re big fans of your work, Ms. Carmen!”
>You look behind you and see two heavily deformed horse like things.
>One is short and pudgy, the other slightly taller and lanky.
>”Oh, where are our manners? I’m Snips, and the slow one next to me is my friend, Snails.”
>The tall one nods before shouting a loud hey at his friend.
>You hear a loud shout, and then the sound of feet pounding on the floor.
>You hurriedly get back to setting up the final transporter.
>”So, what are you doing this time? Stealing the Rosetta Stone? Can we help?”
>You punch in the code and turn to look at them.
>They’re trying to give you puppy dog eyes.
>You crouch down, and grab one by the jaw.
>Turning his head in all directions, you make a choice.
 
“If you guys can distract the guards that are heading this way, I’ll welcome you to V.I.L.E with open arms.”
>They practically jump up with joy and head in the way of the guards.
>You chuckle to yourself and activate the transporter.
>It has a three minute charge time, but those horses should be keeping the guards out long enough for it to charge.
>That is, you thought untill you heard foot steps.
>Sweat forms on your brow.
>Then you hear voices.
>SP: “Dude, I didn’t know you could do that!”
>SL: “I still don’t know what I did...”
>The two horses walk back into the room and wave at you
>SP: “We’re back!”
>Needless to say, your jaw went slightly slack at the sight of these two returning
“Wh-what happened to the guards?” you manage to stutter out
>Snips speaks up.
>”Well, Snails here somehow cast a massive sleeping spell. It was amazing!”
“Spell? As in magic? Magic’s not real!”
>They look at eachother then back to you.
>The one called snips rubs the back of his head and speaks, “It is where we come from.. We’re just... lost.”
>He looks to his friend before continuing.
>”He made us walk into someones spell... and we ended up here...”
>Before they speak anymore, you hear a beep from behind.
>The transporters are fully charged.
>You gave them your word that’d you would let them join... even though you never thought that’d make it back before you were gone...
>You sigh before speaking.
“Come on. Lets go. A deal is a deal.”
>If you didn’t sidestep, they would have latched on you in a hug.
>They collide with the stone.
>Before pressing the button, you try and think if what you’re doing is smart.
>Unsure of yourself, you say one thing.
“Welcome to V.I.L.E. Where the ride never ends.”
>You punch the button before they state their reply, thinking that you should have told them about the risk of the transporter...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ozYg8vDTmkc
-----------------------
14030097
>Be Pillow Case
>Wake up in a city
>See walking talking monkeys
>Take two steps
>Die by human germs
>Bad End
-----------------------
14040789
>Day bump in Earth
>"Bump."
"..."
>"Bump."
"..."
>"Bumpu!"
"Quit it, Pinkie!"
>"..."
"..."
>"Bump..."
"Why do you keep poking my ass? Just focus on digging."
>"Im bored, Nonny."
"How can you be? We're 100 feet below in the ground digging for diamonds!"
>"But material goods mean nothing for me..."
"Well it does for me so dig!"
>"..."
>You swing your pick axe away at the stone feel something pointy in your bum
"Yeouch!"
>"That was you this time... Tee hee hee!"
>Goddammit Pinkie
 
>Not Steve Jobs walks up to the podium, the various flashes from cameras highlighting his face.
>"Several years ago, we introduced the iPhone, then we introduced the iPad. We have been the forrunners of innovation both from yesterday... and today."
>"I am proud to present to you the new iPony."
>"We have three models."
>He throws off the first cover, revealing a white colored iPony.
>"This is our base model, the iPonE, and we have many affordable options for the consumer with a tight budget."
>The next cover is lifted up and the cameras once again snap a flurry of pictures.
>Many oohs and aaahs came from the crowd's mouths.
>"The next model up is the iPonY, with advanced flight capabilities and flight straps in case some of you still dream of having your own hoverjet."
>He laughs at his own joke, notices his mistake and continues on.
>"And the iPonU, the elite model that can simulate real magic. Apple caters to people of all sizes and forms."
>Hydraulics come from the background as a huge white form descends as if from the heavens.
>"We even have big ponies for corporations."
>Somewhere, a millionaire throws away his Blackberry powered Ropony.
>"Absolute garbage," he mutters.
-----------------------
14102803
>be human
>walk around local park
>see mini pony
>checks if it's okay
>it talks
>pony has soft voice and has based color yellow
>take it home
>give it dinner
>slip rape pill
>rape
>rape
>rape
Good End
-----------------------
14107009
>Go to donut shop
>Sees fashion pony working the register
>she greets you as you walk in the door
>almost drop all the noodles in your pockets
>say hello and ask for custard donuts
>she give you smirk
>goes to the back then comes back with a fresh batch
>You sit and eat
>feel weird
>pass out
>wake up
>Rara give you a smile
"I do believe the words you're looking for is 'Oh, how lucky of me to be in the presents of the fashionable Rarity'"
>raped
-----------------------
14109822
>Be human
>you walk to library
>you see piles of books stacked everywhere
>you get lost in the forest of books
>you see purple pone organizing books with magics
>you say hello in a soft voice
>purple slush jumps then hits you with book
>pass out
>get taken care of
>wake up while a sleeping pone softly snores on your leg
>smile
>no plans filing a case of assault
>you will file a case of a stolen heart
-----------------------
14115823
>be octavia
>be in california
>looks both ways before crossing a street in L.A.
>gets ran over anyways
end
-----------------------
14116588
>be anon
>think big talking ponies
>suddenly big pony appears
>gets crushed under big apple butt
>ded
-----------------------
14149926 Symbiotic relationship
[spoiler]So I learned today that there is a theory that dogs domesticated themselves by learning to eat the refuse of abandoned settlements.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Origin_of_the_domestic_dog#Promise_of_food.2Fself-domestication
I figured I would apply this to ponies.[/spoiler]
 
>They’re back again.
>Ponies, they just seem to look at you, watch you, scrutinize every movement.
>They were watching you. Maybe learning from you, you didn’t know.
>You sigh and get back to work, gathering the crops. Winter would be here soon, and you wanted to be prepared.
>The breaking of sticks catches your attention, and you turn back to the pony.
>Her red coat waved in the wind, coat shimmering in the wind.
>She watched you, and then turned her focus to your tools.
>Your ‘tools’ were a stick with a rock stuck to the end. It served its purpose well.
>It was always a wise move to follow the ponies wherever they went
>From the bushes, you see another pony emerge, a small orange one.
>It walks up to the bigger one, and cowers behind its legs.
>“That must be her foal.” You think.
>You need to get back to work, you have no time for these mind games.
>You return to your task of hacking up the plant, putting it in your rucksack.
>Another rustle, and you turn around to see the foal sniffing your feet.
>You look at the mother, she is clearly torn at the idea of approaching you, or rescuing her child.
>Hearing crushing, you look down to see the foal trying tp eat the root of the plant, and failing to do so.
>Up close, you can see the build of the pony, she is very skinny, and you can see her rib cage through her skin.
>You could kill this creature in an instant, use its coat and fat to keep you warm.
>But... this is a creature, who unlike any other, willingly came up to you.
>She trusted you, and you would do nothing to break this bond.
 
>Reaching into your rucksack, you grab some of the plant, broken up enough for consumption.
>You hold it out in your hand, and the foal sniffs at it before eating it.
>You were starting to realise why you kept seeing them; you would harvest a crop, and they would eat the remains after you left.
>These ponies depended on you for food, and in return, showed you the next bout of food.
>Their teeth where to blunt to bite into the root, and relied on your tools to break up the plant.
>Whatever you left behind was theirs, a symbiotic relationship between you.
>The mother was next to you now, watching her foal.
>You get some food for her, and she devoured it as well.
>She says something to her foal, and then turns to leave.
>But the foal doesn’t follow, instead it sticks by your legs, saying something back to the mother.
>The two of them reach an agreement, and seem to stick around.
>It was getting late, so you decided to set up camp.
>The fire scared them at first, but they soon welcomed it’s warm embrace.
>You made them a soup, better prepared than the hard root earlier.
>Then enjoyed it thoroughly, and fell asleep next to you.
>“Maybe,” you think to yourself. “If such an animal can see man means no harm. Then it might be intelligent.
>Perhaps these new brothers and sister can be our allies, our equals. Perhaps I am the outsider, and I they the accepting ones.”
>You close your eyes on these warm thoughts, the breathing of the two ponies beside you putting you to sleep.
-----------------------
14162974
>You had a fun time at the movies with Anon.
>He welcomed you when you arrived at the earth terminal.
>He showed you the city, took you out for a nice dinner, and finally went to the movies with you!
>He picked out a movie about a forbidden love romance between a pony and a human.
>He said it got good reviews, but you suspect he did it for you.
>Either way, it was a nice gesture.
>You head out of the movies, with Anon following up from behind you.
>As you exit the building, you see it’s dark out.
>How long was that movie?
>Before you dwell on it more, a deep seated feeling rises up inside of you.
>A forgotten instinct, one used back in the days of the cavepony.
>Its telling you that something right now, is very, VERY wrong here.
>You enter a paralyzed state, and slowly inch your view up into the sky.
>Theres nothing up there, save for the moon.
>Every star in the sky is gone.
>You heard that earth’s sun, was also a star that happened to be really close to the planet.
>If these stars went out, wouldn’t that mean that the sun is gone as well?
>You back yourself up against the building, and are now trembling in fear.
>”Uhh, skies?”
>You think Anon is talking, but all you hear is a mumble of words.
>[screams internally]
>’If theres no sun, then every plant will die!’
>’when the plants die, there will be no more air or food on the planet!’
>’Every nation will go to war with each other for air and supplies!’
>’Thousands of air raids will strike this city, nukes will fall from the sky, and I will be the last one alive on earth!’
>’Anon will die in my hooves, and I will be forced to walk the earth eternally until I die of suffocation, or starvation!’
[spoiler]>’I will never get Anon’s hot monkey dick.[/spoiler]
>[screams externally]
>You feel a liquid pool at your hooves before you black out.
--------------------------------------------------
>You are Anon.
>And what the fuck just happened?
>You had been having the best day in years.
>You took a nice mare out to the city, treated her to dinner, and finally showed her a movie you thought she would like.
>You followed her out of the theater, when she suddenly stopped, backed herself into a wall, screamed bloody murder, pissed herself and passed out.
>Why can’t you just have a normal day with a friend or something else for once?
>I mean, you thought the movie was cheesy, but you didn't expect her to take it THAT bad.
>She seemed happy after the movie.
>You guess she was still in shock.
>You grab her and carry her back to the car.
>You try not to mind the fact that she is wet.
>When you get home, after a shower, you decide to bitch on /tv/ that ‘hands and hooves’ is the worst movie you have ever seen, and that malaria is more preferable than that.
>...Like those faggots actually care about anything you have to say.
-----------------------
14200493
>You are anon.
>The cold late october air nips at any exposed skin, and you wrap your arms yourself to stay warm.
>You were hungry, of course. You hadn’t had a decent meal in over 4 months!
>A combination of a house fire, shady over the phone insurance, and staggered economic growth had sent you to the only place left you knew you welcomed in: The streets.
>You had no idea how long it had been since you had been forced out here, the time seemed to merge slowly on.
>You sat on the curb of a bus stop, a coffee cup with some change in it in your hand.
>You have $2.12, just 48 cents short of buying the cheapest salad at the 24hr pharmacy across the street.
>You hear something move behind you, and you turn towards the trash.
>It stops moving, but that doesn’t stop you from investigating.
>The darkness of the night does little to illuminate the bin of refuse, and you peer hard inside of it.
>A flash of orange catches your eye, there must be something alive in here!
>Reaching down, you try to grab the creature.
>It bats at your hand with something blunt. No claws, in fact, they almost felt like... hooves.
>What the hell was orange, had hooves, and could fit in a trash can?
>There was something else, you had felt feathers before the creature bit you with blunt teeth.
>This couldn’t be right. None of these body parts matched up.
>Raising your hand brings up an orange feather, the same shade as the creature inside the bin.
>What the FUCK was this?
 
“What the hell are you?”
>”N-Nothing, go away...”
>OH FUCK IT TALKED.
>FUCK THAT MEANS IT’S SENTIENT AND YOU CAN’T EAT IT.
>FUCK IT SOUNDS LIKE A CHILD
>FUCK ITS NOT HUMAN.
>You screams “fuck” over and over again, and you kick the trash bin to it’s side.
>A small orange horse bird thing rolls out.
“Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck....”
>She seems to share your reaction.
>One look at you, and she backs into a wall screaming.
>You realise this screaming can’t be good, you don’t want the police involved.
”Hey! Keep it down! I don’t need the police thinking I assaulted someone!
>”W-What in Celestia are you!?”
>You calm down, it seems this thing can at least understand you, and hopefully; be reasoned with.
“I’m Anon Y. Mous. Who and what are you?”
>”My name is Scootaloo, I’m a pegasus pony. You never answered my question of what you are.”
>What you are? You are normal.
“I’m... a human?”
-----------------------
14217843
>We all thought it would be a curbstomp for humanity.
>We thought wrong.
>My name is Sergeant Bale and I was once a proud member of the United States Army.
>They told us to "liberate" Equestria and bring "democracy" to their world.
>I've been on enough tours to know that all they wanted is the dark slurry running underneath their colorful kingdom.
>We had armor divisions, airborne divisions and a nuclear option.
>They had cute smiles and well brushed manes.
>We shoot them down only for them to get up again and laugh.
>The tanks ran through their towns, but if you blink, you'd find that nothing had changed.
>Private Eustace started to cry. Usually when you shoot at a body, it stays down. It doesn't offer you coffee and a place to stay.
>Some went AWOL. I think they're still there, singing their songs.
>We tried napalm.
>All that did was create small fires that they roasted marshmallows with.
>Trench knives did nothing. Stabbing them just pushed them away. Not a scratch.
>Holding and capturing them was only temporary. The moment we looked away, they came back.
>So, did we give up?
>Nope. Stood back and threw a few mini-nukes at them. I stayed out in the open. Always wanted to see one, and we were outside of the fallout zone.
>I swore that mushroom cloud was smiling at me just before I fell back from the pressure wave.
>And then they knew that we were actually trying to hurt them.
>Corporeal Andreas took the first hit.
>A heart attack. Went quietly as if she fell down to take a nap.
>Once a few dozen of us were taken down, we noticed that it was the eyes.
>Maybe it was eye lasers.
>The pink one took over a hundred of our men with just one song.
>It got so bad, we had to retreat with our heads down and our ears plugged.
>They were waiting at our base.
>And they sang... that... damn... song.
>I lost a lot of good soldiers today.
>So I warn of you. If you ever see those... things, run away.
>I never knew diabetes can be such a potent weapon.
-----------------------
14228623
>You are anon.
>You are japanese fisher.
>It 1945
>You go fish in ocean. Bring back food for family.
>Damn american!
>They stop germany!
>They save jews!
>You feel tug on fishing lure.
>In the name of the rising sun, you pull with all your might.
>Its a small seahorse like thing.
>It green though. Not like other seahorse.
>It more like seapony.
>It look at you then get big smile.
>”Oh my gosh my spell worked! I’m on earth! I may not be a pony anymore, but this is still incredible!”
>It speak language of american.
>Dirty scum of the earth
>You bring it onboard, and grab your knife.
>”No wait! What did I-
>You bring down knife, chop head off.
>It glorious day in japan.
>Suddenly big american b17 overhead.
>Suddenly mushroom cloud.
>You blame seapony.
>Filthy american scum.
>Distracted you for a moment and look what happens.
-----------------------
14265935
>The boardroom was filled with four of the highest up, well trained, elite businessmen in the entire company.
>Anyone who went in the room right now would think otherwise.
>One in a green suit was clicking his pen without realizing as the others glared at him.
>Another wore a pineapple motif tie. He noticed his leg was bouncing and pressed down on it with his hands. He frowned when he noticed that the other leg bounced.
>The tension was impenetrable.
>Which made it all the worse as what was unarguably the champion of the business world walked past the side and sat down without realizing anything.
>The wood framed boardroom chair carved from a single redwood pine gave a squeak as she turned to her advisers.
>In her mouth carried a suitcase, which she placed down her side.
"Now, all of you called me here for a reason. I was wonderin' what was going on."
>She turned around so that all can see it was quite simply Applejack the pony, humble business magnate supreme of the Apple corporation.
>One of the business officials stammered a bit before passing over a folder titled in black letters: 'Alchemy factory.'
>"Ms.Applejack, I was wondering if you knew anything about this."
>She leafed through the folder, taking out pictures of wiry haired scientists posing with a backdrop of blackboards scribbled with arcane symbols.
>One particular picture had an apple in the midst of a pentagram. It glowed with electricity from nearby telsa coils.
"Oh, that. It's the alchemy division. Didn't I tell you boys to stay out of micromanaging too much? I mean, it's business 101, right?"
>A heavyset gentleman with a green suit took a remote control from his pocket. The boardroom desk lit up from underneath, and started displaying the words, "A message from your president."
 
>Applejack was on film, leaning on the desk of the department of defense, casually speaking in a calming, southern drone.
>"Howdy, American and non-American folks! All of you have been tellin' me that there's some scary monsters eatin' your children all around the world. If you don't want that happenin', just feed them apples, and everythin' will turn up just appley, er, peachy."
>She whispered off to the side, "Get the lawyers to make that a word."
>Obama was trying to get on TV, but Applejack just shooed him off.
"Do I have to get the broom?"
>She smiles and the film cuts to an apocalyptic scene with collapsed building and tanks ripped in half and flaming with leftover fuel.
>Multiple pterodactyl creatures flew in the air with feathers, tendrils, and vertically splitting beaks.
>Their hollow screams echoed unnaturally through the air.
>It brought shivers in all the board members as they hovered down, staring at the screen.
>In the film, Applejack tossed a lasso and brought the sky beast's neck down to a nearby plate covered with apples.
>The otherbird sniffed then absorbed it through osmosis through its chest.
>"You see? It's as easy as apple pie."
 
>The desk faded, and Applejack was still standing calm among a room of sweaty, suited men.
>The quivering one with the pineapple tie finally decided to speak up.
>"Applejack, I think the portal was a b-bad idea. We all do."
>The green suit just nodded knowingly. The others soon followed.
"I know what you're saying. We could have discovered a whole new civilization! But it just so happened that we could choose only one exit. And the other exit just happened to open the way to the appleverse. All of them space apples filled up our coffers.
>"Yeah. With apples."
"Who said that?"
>"Me."
>Applejack whipped her chair around, only to see the face from the sixth chair move forward from the shadows. It coughed, and an apple bounced down on the floor, splattering on the velvet red carpet.
 
>"I warned you Applejack. You could have stopped it. We are not satisfied with this."
>The figure in question was the first (and honorary) CEO of Apple corp, retired from active duty at the ripe old age of 90.
>Applejack stood up, her front legs laying on the desk for support.
"Now, Granny Smith, I appreciate your output, I really do, but it's a cut-throat world out there and I'm not risking the family business on your wild speculation."
>"Speculation? Look at me Applejack."
>Granny smith coughed up another rotten apple as she struggled to keep her composure.
>Her limbs were twisting and turning in different positions and apple shaped bulges came from her stomach.
"You look just fine, granny. Let me handle this."
>She cried splatters of some gooey substance.
>"It's too late for me, for everypony."
>Pineapple tie muttered, "you saw a doctor, right?"
>"Doctor? Didn't you hear? An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Well, there ain't no doctors anymore."
>The red tied businessman with a goatee swiped the tear goop on his finger and tasted it.
>"Applesauce. Just like grandma."
>Pineapple tie stuttered, "Just like all the grandmas. This didn't just happen to Granny Smith. All of them are changing."
"Of course it is. I couldn't stop it. Not after I started messing with time."
>Applejack clamped her snout shut as the green suited man rose from his chair with the help of an ivory cane.
>"So is that the reason why history books changed the story of Issac Newton? Now they say an orange hit him on the head!"
>Applejack laughed softly to herself.
"Yup. That was me."
>The other board members forgot their fear and scowled at her.
"Well, what did you want me to do? Waste a perfectly good apple?"
>The goatee man waved a batch of hastily placed documents held together with just a paperclip.
>"Time machines? I was going to discuss this diplomatically, but I can't see the point of tact in this madhouse."
 
>The paperclip broke free, and several pictures slid apart, revealing images of mile wide particle accelerators. One in particular was of a blueprint for placing one on the moon.
>"I don't believe this," said pineapple tie. "You're condensing entire universes into apples."
"But they're golden apples!" corrected Applejack.
>The room fell silent.
>Applejack was putting on her bravest smile.
"You know, like that minecraft game that kids like."
>Goatee man cried, "MY SON IS DEAD!"
>He sat back down and started sobbing. The most boring of the board members started rubbing his back and giving him comforting words.
>Applejack's ears folded back as the other two men crossed their arms at her.
>Granny Smith was choking on applesauce as her head twisted and her body throbbed.
"Granny, are you all right?"
>"grrararrraah"
>The scent of applesauce came from her body and grew deeper and deeper until it smelled like non-numbers.
>Kind of like if you divided by zero.
>Applejack nudged a button on her suitcase with her nose and two booster rockets and straps came out from it.
"Well, it's been nice meeting with you guys. If you need me, I'll be finishing what I started."
>The suitcase jetpack on her back activated, Applejack ran for the window.
>The glass bowed, and her orange body flew back and hit the green suited businessman in the chest, causing him to collapse on the one with the pineapple tie.
>With everyone incapacitated, Granny Smith burst open, covering the boardroom with her pulsating, purple flesh.
>They screamed in terror, but it was all in vain.
 
News :
Wrinkled "flesh tendrils" visible from space!
 
Remains of "old ladies" found frozen in the middle of growing fleshy structures!
 
Large "flesh highways" scar continent, stretch between various apple facilities!
 
All hope lost as writhing mass of flesh and apples engulfs whole city!
 
Nightmare continues as wrinkled acres of flesh expand at alarming speeds!
-----------------------
14280172
>Everyone knew your favorite color was red.
>Why?
>Because of your brand new car! Yeah!
>It had all those bells and whistles too.
>Unfortunately, some pegasi thought it was funny to smear your roof with shit.
>This won't do, Anon. So you gotta get this car cleaned up ASAP.
>You noticed a sign up ahead. It said, "Speedy Car Wash: $10."
>That's a little expensive, but it was better than driving around with a shitty roof.
>The place was just behind a gas pump, so you drove behind and see a giant rain cloud.
"Whoa."
>You stopped just short.
>A blue pegasus with rainbow hair tapped the driver's window with a hoof.
>"Hey. That rain cloud isn't free. You gotta pay."
>Great. Another pegasus.
>Were they conspiring together or something?
"Fine. Just make it quick."
>The cash exchanged hands and the pony shoved the rain cloud over
>The sound of sponge wiping over water soon filled your ears.
>Was she even using soap?
>She slumped down over the windshield trying to clean the leaves under your wipers.
>And your eyes got scarred by a pair of pony tits. Fucking great.
>The screeching sound of steel over glass got you to open your eyes though.
>Her hooves!
>Immediately you roll down the windows and yell, "Get your horseshoes off of my car."
>Rainbow Dash flies back to you and looks you in the eyes.
>"So what? It's just a few scratches."
>Your blood boils over and she lays a hoof against your shoulder.
>"Relax. Everything's fine, I've got it under control."
>You slam down the gas and gun it.
>It only ends up burning your tires as the car remains stuck.
>"Yeah. Some people try bail. So I wedge in their tires when they're not looking. You're not bailing on me, are you?"
"Yes I am, you stupid shit. I can't fix those scratches without a lot of money."
>"Psssh. Well, why didn't you say so? Just take it out of what you owe me."
>You gnaw the steering wheel as bile starts to come from deep within.
 
"If you can't even wash a car, why are you even here?"
>"Well, I like money," said Dash as she looked off into the side.
>And then, she decided that the best way to clean the interior is to send the rain cloud in.
>Your leather seats.
>The electronics.
>Everything is ruined.
>"Oh, that's right. Gotta clean the engine too. It is a car wash, right?"
>And before you could even object, she yanks the hood open and sends the rain cloud there too.
"MY CAR!"
>You curl up into the fetal position as a hoof nudges you.
"I cleaned your engine for you to pay you off for the scratches. But you still owe me for the car wash."
>She gives out a hoof, expecting an offering.
>Instead, you take her hoof and drag her to your eye level.
"Listen up, blue retard. Someone's going to be paying for this, but it's not going to be me."
 
--- TWO DAYS LATER --
>"Nice car!"
>"Yeah. Where did you get it?"
"Oh, well. I got myself a deal and made a few modifications."
>That girl you like snuggles against the blue fur seats.
>"Soooo comfy. And the car's quiet too."
"Yeah. It sure is."
>You yank the reins as they lead up to a hairless, bald rainbow dash.
"GYAH MULE! GYAH!"
>"Yeah, yeah. I gotcha."
>The naked pony flapped her wings, dragging the car forward with her pony wing magic.
>You fold your arms behind your head as the pony-drive steering takes over.
>Feeling like a boss.
-----------------------
14281583
>Cadence sits down all alone as the wind sweeps her hair.
>She felt anything but wistful though, as once again she was stood up for a game of Hyperspace Wars.
"So much for a breaktime of making out."
>She sighs before going back from her rooftop break as 'Official lovebird of New York.'
>Cadence leaped and soared above the skyline on her purple tipped wings, looking for unhappy couples.
>Two cats were hissing at each other.
>One zap later and the two male cats started fighting over who was going to be the top.
>Hank was sitting down watching TV as usual. >He tossed some bread chunks to the pigeons cooing on the apartment's outside fire ladder.
>Then he stuffed half a loaf of bread in his maw.
>Everything was just peachy as usual.
>One horn beam later, and he was tonguing one of his pidgeons for some man-bird love.
>Cadence smiled. This was a great way of getting rid of the tension.
>The rest of her day was spent making love between:
>Male minotaur and female human
>Male griffin and female human
>Male ursa major and female human
>Two male bears
>One pidgeon flock orgy
>Needless to say, when Cadence came back it didn't matter if he did or not.
-----------------------
14282319
>be Jerry Springer
"On today's show: pony princesses who can't be faithful, and the stallions who love them!"
>"You knew it was part of my job description when you married me, Shiny."
>"I know that, but seeing you out there doing that with... I mean, Jesus Christ, they're mostly not even our species. What if some human gives you the AIDS?"
>"Love me, love my career!"
>"JERR-Y! JERR-Y! JERR-Y!" chanted the audience
>it was a high ratings day
-----------------------
14297517
>day spring in earth
>all the mares are in heat.
>>rape reports have increased 7000%
>While humans where a bit shorter than most ponies, they certainly lasted longer.
>since you couldn't get pony aids or pregnant from a human, there were no downsides.
>Every mare was fucking men until they couldn't fuck no more.
>the human birth rate plummeted, human seed depleted.
>thermobaric weapons were being used against ponies to try and reduce their numbers.
>they just kept fucking.
>as a last resort, scientists developed pony aids that could be carried by humans
>finally we got the upper hand, thousands of mares died because AIDS
>Humanity was finally at peace, we could rebuild what they had fucked off.
-----------------------
14307537
>Day halloween on earth
>ponies come to door
>you give candy
>they give hugs
>diabetes all around
-----------------------
14329837 
>be anonymous.
>Today you went to a strip club.
>This wasn’t just any stip club, it’s a pony strip club.
>Those mares can wink...
>You see the usual fare, mostly mares who had come to Earth poorly educated on it’s economic structure.
>In equestria, you just needed to find an empty plot of land, then you could do whatever the hell you wanted on it.
>Here, you needed to pay for your land.
>It wasn’t for every”pony”, but the thrill of having indoor plumbing was a major selling point.
>As such, a lot of mares needed to take up side jobs in order to pay the bills.
>and like anything in life, the more of them you have, the less value for each item.
>Bitches was cheap.
>There’s a new one today.
>There are new ones everyday, but this one stood out.
>She was shakin’ her plot, makin you hard.
>It was clear she was a professional.
>You waved her over, and she brings her bouncin ass with.

>Like the suave motherfucker you are, you ask for a private room with her.
>She agrees and you follow her into a room.
>You ask for her name, and she tells you its the great and powerful Trxie.
>A little odd, but maybe she was named that after her all powerful ass, or something. 
>You didn't get pony names
>Stepping into the room and not missing a beat, she tells you to sit down, as you work out finances.
>You flash a couple o’ franklins in your wallet, and she agrees to the terms.
>She turns around and waves her ass in your face, bouncing every time she shakes.
>She lowered it, and starts grindin’ your member. 
“I’l’ slip out of my pants, just for you, Trixie.” 
>You see her turn to face you, and her horn lights up.
>A few hidden things float out from the room, namely a wizard hat and a cape.
>”Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.”
>Still odd, but then again you were into worse kinks.
>You decided to play along.
“Oh, I like to play dress up.“
>”Me too baby.”
>You kiss her softly on the chest, and then get angry when you remember mares have crotchtits.
>”I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real handsome man.”
>Okay, this was taking it a little too far.
“Hey...”
>”I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 Cock of the Infinite.”
>OH FUCK. IT WAS ONE OF THESE MARES.

>you look down, no futa appendage detected.
>With a hint of sarcasm in your voice, you look the mare in her eyes.
“Funny. I still don’t see it.”
>”I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty F*ck of the Beyondness.”
>NO. FUCK THIS. SHE HAS KILLED YOUR BONER.
“You are the worst stripper ever. This is ridiculous.”
>”Don’t f*ck with me bitch, I’m the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.”
>You push the mare off yourself, and get up to leave.
>“I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000”
>”Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid. “
“Fuck this place.”
>You speed walk out of the club, the mare behind you runs out of the room.
>”Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.“
>You run out of the place, any mood you were in was dead.
>Fucking basement dwelling autist ponies.