>The banquet was being held outside, in the castle gardens. This pleased you, as it would offer some bushes and trees to hide behind, instead of a ballroom where you were the second tallest and second most eye-catching thing in the room, after whatever hat Rarity was wearing.
>When you arrive, all the guests are conversing in an open area with a temporary dance floor laid down, waiting for the meal to start. Celestia, Luna, various princes, Discord.
>Discord?
>Excellent.
"Fluttershy, we should go say hello to Discord," you suggest.
>"Oh, that's a good idea. I haven't written him a letter in weeks," Fluttershy admits.
>You walk over to find that, rather than Discord, you had spotted a tall rosebush, cut into his form.
>"Tell me honestly Fluttershy, do you think it captures the real me?" comes a voice from behind you.
>You turn to see Discord sporting a beret and black turtleneck.
>"It's very pretty," Fluttershy replies.
>"Thank you Fluttershy, that's exactly what I wanted to hear." And with that he picked up the entire bush and ate it. "And Anon, you look as positively boring as possible. Are you sure this is what they wear back on that wretched, magic-less planet of yours?"
"More or less."
>"Ghastly."
>You shrug off the insult.
"Why don't we, as polite people with hands and grip, go get Fluttershy a drink while we wait for dinner to start?"
>"That's okay Anon, I can wait-"
"No, I really don't mind. Come on." 
>You grab Discord by the lion leg and pull him away towards a punch bowl. Off in the distance, Applejack is glaring at you. So you flash her a smile. Her glare deepens.
>"Oh Anon, you're up to something."
"Why do you say that?"
>"Because I prefer to say intelligent things, rather than ask stupid questions like that."
>Sadly, he's not wrong.
"I need a favor."
>"Oh really, and what would that be?"
"I need you to make me invisible."
>"Very tempting. No wait, that's the wrong word. Very boring."
"Or, you know, just, not like this. Make me look like something else. Maybe a pony?"
>He scratches his chin. "And I presume looking like, say, a talking, burning ten foot coat rack is out of the question?"
"I was thinking, something subtle."
>"Ugh, boring. But fine, there."
>He snaps his fingers, and suddenly, you feel shorter and heavier. You're a pony, a pale green stallion with a red mane.
>Not the first time you'd been turned into a pony, probably not the last.
"Thanks, this is-"
>"You know? I'd rather not know. Enjoy it for now, I'll come along at some point and reverse it." And with that, he vanished, and appeared back beside Fluttershy.
>Now what?
>You look around. You knew, knew in every fiber of your temporary, stolen appearance, that Shooting Star was going to show up. He had to. Because there was literally no way you could go over to Applejack and talk to her without her knowing it was you, pony body or not. You weren't going to get the truth that way. So you start trotting around the party, peeking behind bushes and such, looking for the bastard. Eventually, you find him and Fine Line in a distant corner, sipping glasses of wine. You give them a nod as you walk by, then duck behind a shrub.
>"I don't know, hoofball player? You think that will fly with this crowd?" Fine Line asks.
>"Yeah, and you know why? Because there are no hoofball players in this crowd. They've probably never met one, what matters is, it sounds flashy and different." There, that was Shooting Star. "Actually, why are we talking about this? You've got her locked down. She'd leave with you now if you asked."
>"If I wanted to slum it with a small town pony, I could do that anywhere. I'm in Canterlot, I've got a heroic, gripping tale about Changelings, and I want a mare who's got silk sheets and servants tomorrow morning," Fine Line replies.
>Your legs and neck are sore from holding them completely still. Why was it so hard to get an invisibility spell?
>"What about you, worried about her husband?" Fine Line asked.
>"No, I don't think he even came. Honestly, I don't know how a mare could marry a weird alien like that, but I think she knows, deep down, she belongs with a real stallion."
>You wonder if Discord actually transformed you into a pony, and you had pony strength, or if it was just an illusion.
>You realize that two guards are making there way around to your end of the garden. As a pony, you really didn't have an invite, and you looked more than suspicious lurking behind a shrub. You head off towards the party, trying to look natural. Besides, you had heard enough. Hopefully, Shooting Star wanted foals.
>You head over to the bar. Would this damn banquet ever begin? Actually, knowing Rarity, she probably got you all here with excessive time to mingle. The real question was, would it ever end? Then what? Go back to your suite? Why? So you could go on with your life and raise some other stallion's foal?
>"You know, I'd gotten used to knowing everyone at these parties."
>You turn, confused, to see Twilight leaning against the bar beside you. What was she doing with her face?
>Sweet Celestia, that was her sexy face, wasn't it? She was making a sexy face at you.
"Twilight-"
>"Now see, that's the problem with royalty. You know my name, but I don't know yours."
>She runs a hoof along your leg.
>"It's Anon."
>Now she looks confused.
"Discord turned me into a pony."
>She narrows her eyes in displeasure.
>"And why would he do that?"
"I asked him to?"
>She just looks at you, waiting for an explanation.
>You sigh, wishing you had at least gotten a drink before you had to tell her.
"Applejack's pregnant, so I was just trying to find out-"
>You're cut off by her laughing.
"Why is that funny?"
>"AJ isn't pregnant."
"I'm not just making stuff up here Twilight. She was going into heat when you all ran off to fight the changelings. She meets Shooting Star, and then I arrive and she's just, mysteriously not in heat. I know enough about mares to know that getting pregnant end their heat early-"
>"Mm, true, but you don't know anything about the Elements of Harmony," Twilight cut him off. "Look, AJ and I were both about to go into heat, that's why we went to Doctor Stable's. We uh, we synced up years ago, slumber party. Rarity too. Anyway, when we use our powers to transform, it biologically normalizes us. It actually grew back Rarity's tail once. Anyway, we all dropped out of heat when we transformed to fight the changelings."
>You're probably making a really stupid face as you try to understand what Twilight is saying. Eventually though, you realize what she meant, and your face explodes with embarrassment.
>"Wait so, you actually thought AJ had cheated on you?" Twilight asks.
>Horse apples.
"I, it was dumb, I-"
>You needed to be a person again, quick. You look around for Discord, but instead you see Applejack and Rarity walking over to Twilight.
>"Twilight, darling, who is this handsome young stallion you're talking to?" Rarity asks.
>You decide that you're just going to run away. You turn around to find Discord standing behind the bar.
>"Time's up, Anon." He says as he grabs your head and pulls. After a moment of feeling like you were going through a meat grinder, you realize you're a person again.
>"How did your little eavesdropping adventure go?" Discord asked.
>Why did you ask Discord for help?
>You turn back around. Twilight is looking at you with disappointment, Rarity with confusion, and Applejack... Applejack looked like she was about to give you another concussion.
>"What the hay is going on, Anon?"
"You know, just trying to liven up these parties. Pretty stuffy right?"
>Now they all look angry.
>"Ah swear Anon, you do not want to be lying to me right now." AJ says quietly.
>You doubt you're going to get out of this hole, why dig it any deeper?
"Look I thought you and Shooting Star had... I was trying to get some proof."
>They were all looking at you, Discord was standing behind the bar, smirking.
>Well, you got yourself into this mess, that much was true.