>This next part was going to be difficult, because you were the only six foot tall bipedal hairless ape in the entire world. But! You had spent a summer back on earth giving out court summons, so you were confident that you were practically almost a ninja.
"Twilight! I need you to make me invisible."
>You're standing in the doorway of Twilight's room as Rarity holds up various dresses and ensembles for her.
>"Why?"
"It's a secret."
>"Then no."
>"Anon, don't run off, tell me you brought one of your suits for the banquet tonight," Rarity asks.
"I did."
>"Which one?"
"The grey one."
>"And the blue undershirt?"
"Yes."
>"Good, those go so well together."
"Thanks mom," you say as you leave.
>"Well someone has to keep him in line," Rarity tells Twilight.
>Okay, no magic, it was going to be all down to skill. You were just going to need to go to the banquet, follow AJ around until she met with Shooting Star or whichever pony she was sleeping with... probably Shooting Star, catch them in the act, and you would be vindicated.
>Then what?
>Your stomach was on fire with anxiety. No eating at the banquet unless you wanted to stress vomit into a garden sculpture. Again.
>Anyway, you would figure out what to do in the moment.
>Actually, you needed to figure out what to do in the now. You stand in the hallway, contemplating your options. Then, a yellow mare wanders out of her room.
>"Silly little robin, if I hadn't had my window open, you could have broken a wing," she was talking to a small bird perched on her head. "Let's walk you over to the other side of the tower, give yourself a little break."
"Hey, sis!"
>"Huh? Oh, Anon. Sorry, I was enjoying the breeze when this robin almost crashed into my room, but we're going to be alright now."
"No need to apologize. Look, since Big Mac isn't here, how about I accompany you to the banquet tonight?"
>"What? Tonight? But, what about AJ?"
"She'll be fine, apparently." You feel yourself starting to frown. "But I know it'll be more fun if you have someone to talk to. And if you want to leave, I'll make up some excuse."
>That last part nailed it.
>"Well, if AJ doesn't mind, I would love to have an easy out. These banquets usually go on forever."
>Added to your roiling sea of anxiety was now guilt at using Fluttershy as a cover.
"What are brothers-in-law for?"
>You headed back to your room, passing by Twilight's once more. AJ was inside, getting fussed over by Rarity.
>"You're certain that's all you're going to wear? I can't talk you into something with a skirt?"
>"Yer lucky I'm even coming." AJ replies.
>You speed up, not wanted to be seen. You head back to your room and quickly throw on your suit.
>A few hours later, with sunset approaching, you all meet at the base of the tower to depart. AJ casts a glare at you, then her expression turns quizzical when she sees Fluttershy with you.
>"Oh, Applejack, you don't mind that Anon is accompanying me tonight? It seems like you mind, I'm so sorry, I'll just stay in the suite-"
>"No, Fluttershy, I don't mind." she turns to you. "That's ah very gentlemanly move, Anon."
>Oh sweet Celestia that voice. The voice that had proceeded all of your most explosive arguments. For a brief moment, you consider caving in the face of the coming storm. But, in the back of your mind, some small, bitter part of you yelled out: If she's telling the truth, why isn't she in heat!
"You all had a stressful weekend, I'm just trying to help." You look at the horizon. "We should hurry or we'll be late. And then Rarity will yell at us."
>"He's quite right, we should hurry," Rarity adds.