>Your alarm goes off, and you flail a hand at it for a moment before you just knock it to the floor, which turns it off. You're a little bit cold, because like always, you've kicked off the blankets in the night, so you spin around to cuddle up to Applejack, who magically transforms into a space heater when she sleeps. However, you find nothing. That's enough to get you to open your eyes.
>Bed's empty.
>You look around the room, which is dimly lit by the first rays of light coming in from the double windows.
>You see your wife over in front of the closet, probably trying to find her best harness. As her heat approached, her skin got more and more tender, until the sensation of anything rubbing against it became too much. What day was it? It was Friend-Day. That left Star-Day, Sun-Day, and Moon-Day. By Moon-Day it would be time.
"Mornin' AJ."
>"Mornin' Anon," she replies.
"You know what I did yesterday?"
>She gave back a sound that roughly simulated a what.
"Said some dumb stuff to this mare. Probably ruined my chances with her. Which is a pity because, I mean, timing, right? She was about to go into heat. And I just put my foot in my mouth. But whatever, we're married, so you'll have to do."
>She turns around from the closet with an uncertain expression.
"Basically, I'm sorry. But in joke form."
>After a moment, she smiles, so you smile. "Clearly you've been addled in the head, thinking your married to some crazy pink pony."
>You get up and stretch, and after a moment you hear an audible pop from your hip.
"Oh damn, oh that was good, good hurt."
>You rub your hip for a moment, then walk over to the closet yourself. AJ was rummaging through her bin of harnesses, but now she wasn't trying to be quiet about it. You grab her flank to 'balance' yourself as your reach over her for a shirt.
>"Oh no Sugarcube. This is a work day, we're behind as it is, and next week-"
"I'm just making sure I don't fall, what do you-"
>She flicks at you with her tail playfully, so you pull your shirt out of the closet and leave her alone.
>"We've got a couple days, so if we put in the hours, we can have the trees in the south field finished, which just leaves Mac to hire on a pony and they can do the east field on their own. That should get us about everything off the branches before they start falling or, you know, the Weather Ponies get it in their head we need an early frost," she explains. Granted, you've brought in many, many harvests with her, you don't really need to be told. But it's nice to just have her talking in the background.
"You know Dash isn't going to do that to you."
>"She's been the Weather-Master General for six years without an early frost. Eventually, someone in Canterlot is going to notice," she replies. "Weather Bureau tyrants."
>She still hadn't found her comfortable harness, and now she was just standing there, preparing a rant about the greatest evil to ever threaten Equestria: Pegasus Bureaucracy.
>You pull on your jeans, with a silent prayer to Rarity for inventing denim, even if you were the only person who wore it, and go over to Applejack.
>"Never put a hoof on a plow, but oh, they know exactly when the rainy season should start."
>You cut her off with a kiss.
"I'm going to go cook breakfast."
>You head downstairs slowly enough to hear a frustrated groan from your room.
>After oatmeal, you, AJ, and Big Mac head into the fields. The work is hard, sure, but not terribly complicated, especially not when you've done it a dozen times before. So you spend the day with your thoughts. By mid-afternoon, you decide that, in addition to the whole foals things being, really, a completely moot point, you weren't going to bring it up at all before the heat. Or during the heat. You would wait until well, well after the heat.
"Self-preservation."
>You had made the mistake once, once, of getting AJ angry right before a heat. Apple Bloom had left home a few months earlier, and you were looking forward to a wild week of rutting with absolutely no one else in the house. The kitchen, the living room, the barn, nowhere would be safe. Then, with just two days before the heat, Apple Bloom sent a letter saying her apartment had flooded, and she was going to come home for a few days while they fixed it. That fight had turned nasty. And, much to your horror, it did not prevent any of the sex, it just made it angry. You came out of that heat covered in bite marks, scuffs, and a mild concussion from being bucked into a dresser.
>You both put in long hours on Friend-Day and Star-Day, and by Sun-Day, the south field was pretty much finished and AJ couldn't stand to be in a harness anymore.
"It's like, six more trees, let's just call it a day. Big Mac can get it."
>Applejack picked up the harness she had kicked off and threw it into the cart full of apples she had been pulling. "And he can take these to the barn. Sweet Celestia." She huffed. "Alright, well, we should go home and eat some dinner."
>You begin nodding, but-
"Actually. Crap. We didn't stock up on any supplies."
>You two look at each other, then the house, then towards town.
"Okay, we can make this really quick, but we should split up, hit different stores and stalls."
>"Yer gonna make me put on saddlebags, aren't you?"
"Yes."
>Twenty minutes later you're in town, and reminded that you are easily the most conspicuous person in Equestria. There's only one human, every one in Ponyville knows you, everyone in Ponyville knows your wife. And there's really no subtle was to buy lube. You're at Barnyard Bargins, because you sure as hell aren't buying throw-away bed sheets at hoof-stitched prices. Still, small town.
>"Afternoon Anon!" Daisy says.
"Hey Daisy."
>Now the hard part. You start piling stuff onto the counter. Two sets of the lowest count bed sheets in the store, in some horrible beige color, two rolls of cling film, bags of spicy hay-fries, bleach wipes, six-pack of sparkling water, four bottles of wine (two reds, two whites), a wheel of cheese, bags of grapes, dish towels, loaves of bread, the largest bottle of baby oil the store sold, and three pairs of super cheap red tights.
>You psychic-ly will Daisy not to mention the baby oil, don't mention the baby oil.
>Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep!
>"Huh, I don't usually see Applejack wearing tights."
"Yeah, these rip really easily."
>You stare at each other.
>"Oh."
>Beep!Beep!Beep!
>You just start getting really interested in the gossip rags next to the counter.
"Heh, Fleur-Dis-Lee needs to stop getting surgery, right? Doesn't even look the same these days."
>"Uh-huh. Total is sixty-one bits."
>You almost throw the money at her.
>"You two have fun!" she calls out as you leave.
>Fucking Daisy.
>You come outside in time to see a large, purple airship plummet out of the sky, smoke trailing from its engines. You see small black figures zipping around the cabin, and the flash of unicorn magic.
"Oh no."
>One of the engines gives out completely, and the airship drops dramatically, just above the roof tops. Then, a rainbow colored blur shoots overhead. You watch Dash collide with the cabin, trying to steer the airship away from town, but it's dropping fast. Then, the entire ship is wrapped in a faint purple haze and turns suddenly, dropping down into the river on the edge of town.
>You realize you've been holding your breath this entire time. Still, even with the airship on the ground, you hear the blasts of magical beams. Something's bothering you.
"Changelings!"
>You start running towards the airship, still carrying your bags of groceries and sex paraphernalia. You cut across yards, zipping by open mouthed ponies.
>"Anon, what's going on?" Ponies called out as you ran by.
>Still despite your athletics, by the time you make it to the river, you are greeted by a pile of dazed, beaten changelings, and the airship crew cheering. Standing some distance off is the Elements of Harmony, your wife included, Rainbowfied with magic power, red and pink streaks in her hair, her coat glowing like gold.
>You run over.
"AJ! You alright?"
>"Fit as a fiddle!" she replies.
>"Princess Twilight, you've got to help us!" came a cry from the airship crew. Twilight trotted over.
>"Help with what?"
>"We were mapping the northern border region when we found these changelings. They pretended to be stranded miners in the mountains. But we weren't the only ship, some of the miners got on the other survey ship!" the captain explains.
>"Where was that ship headed?" she asks.
>"Back to Canterlot with our updated maps!"
>Twilight turns back to her friends. "Alright girls, you know what this means."
>"Road trip?" Pinkie asks expectantly.
>"Well, sort of." Twilight replies, then she wraps the group in a bubble of magical energy. "We've got to get to Canterlot before the changelings!"
>The bubble starts rising of the ground, taking your wife up with it. She turns to you. "I'll be back quicker than you can blink, Sugarcube."
>And with that, they rocketed up into the air, heading for Canterlot.
"But... the..."
>You pick up your smut-groceries and stomp off from the crash site.