>”Ar, lass, ye be lookin’ mighty glum.  Can I interest ye in a bit o’ ale?”
>Gilda raised her head, regarding the woman speaking to her
>Celaeno was standing at the opposite side of the bar, dressed in full pirate garb complete with an eyepatch and a tricorn hat
>Gilda sighed
“You can drop the act, Cel.  There’s nobody here.”
>Celaeno’s face fell
>”Ar, that be… I mean, yeah.  I know.  Guess it’s another slow week.”
“More like another slow month.  Where the hell’s the old crowd?  I miss those crazy dykes.”
>”New place opened up downtown, last I heard.  Called Sapphic Secrets or something like that.”
“Fuck me, that’s gay.”
>”That’s the idea.”
“Yeah, but like, that’s *really* gay.  At least Tavern Wenches is a badass name for a badass place,” Gilda said, gesturing to the barrel-shaped seats and glass lanterns around her
>”Arr, it was a real thing o’ beauty.  But alas, I think we be at the end.”
“Guess we’re just not trendy enough.”
>”That be my fear.”
“Man, that’s fucked.  Makes me miss Griffonstone.  Sure, the bars are all in leftover bunkers from the war.  But at least we stick together.  Don’t up and abandon a place for whatever’s trendy.”
>”Ay, ye be proper birds of a feather.”
>Gilda scowled at Celaeno
“Okay, forget everything I said.  This place is dead because you can’t lay off the shitty puns.”
>”Apologies, lass,” Celaeno said, holding her hat to her chest
“Whatever.  Just bring me something strong, and cheap.”
>”Arr, that describes everything we got.  But I’ll look.”
>Celaeno disappeared into the back room, leaving Gilda alone
>She fished her phone out of her pocket, flipping through her recent messages
>There were six of them, all within the last hour, and all from the same person
>[Hey!  It’s me again!]
>[Are you out tonight?]
>[The husband’s at a business meeting and my daughter’s in bed.  We should meet up!]
>[Guess you don’t want to talk to me.]
>[Fine.]
>[Thought what we had was special, but I guess I was wrong.  Whatever.  You aren’t worth my incredibly valuable time anyway.]
>Gilda whistled to herself, somewhat impressed by the multi-stage process of clinginess playing out in front of her eyes
>She’d made a bit of a mistake last week, and ended up sleeping with a married “straight” woman she’d met on 
>That was considered a serious no-go in most circles, as it tended to produce hyper-attached nightmares like the one currently trying to dig its claws into her
>Still, the sex was totally worth this; the married chick had been one of those stuck-up rich-bitch types, who are so used to having their ass kissed that, when you get them in bed, they want nothing more than to be tied down and humiliated to within an inch of their life
>Gilda had left her quivering, ahegao, and looking like she’d been on the losing side of an alligator-wrestling match
>Celaeno returned, a tall-boy of Steel Reserve in her hands
>”This be the cheapest and strongest we got.”
“Yeah?  Fuck me, no wonder we’re a sinking ship.”
>”Arr, I resent that,” Celaeno said, scratching at the back of her head.  “But I suppose it has a shade o’ truth.”
>Gilda cracked the beer open, letting the first long gulp run cold and bitter down the back of her throat
>She slammed the can down, letting out a loud “whoop!”
“It’s been one hell of a week, Cel.  One hell of a week.”
>”Frankly, I be scared to ask.”
“It’s a long story anyway.”
>Celaeno nodded
>”With ye, they usually are.”
“What can I say, interesting shit just happens to me.  It usually sucks.  Like, fuck, did I ever tell you about Dash an’ me at Flight Camp?”
>”Only three or four times.”
“That many, huh?  Musta been drunk.”
>”Ye usually are.”
“I… can’t really argue that one.  But fuck it, man, lemme tell you about the time me an’ Dash—“
>Gilda was cut off by the sound of Tavern Wenches’ front door creaking open
>Both her and Celaeno turned to see the newcomer, and were surprised to find themselves facing a young girl, clearly no older than fourteen
>Despite her age, she was dressed in a leather tube-skirt that clung to her slender body, showing off far more smooth, pale skin than Gilda could believe was legal
>The girl’s legs were adorned with thigh-high silk socks that squished her thight, and violet high-cut jacket that probably cost more than Gilda’s prized Harley hung at her shoulders
>There was a weirdly familiar look to the girl, but Gilda was a bit too preoccupied with thoughts of having FBI agents swarm into the building to really focus on that
“Uh… what?” she asked to nobody in particular
>”Arr, I’ll, uh… I’ll be in the back!  I didn’t see nothin’!” Celaeno said, stealthily retreating from the bar
“Hey!  Don’t abandon me, you pirate fuck!”
>But the pirate-bartender was already gone, leaving Gilda alone with this child
>Gilda turned away, trying really, really hard not to look over her shoulder as she forced from her mind thoughts of that sacred space where the girl’s socks terminated
>”Um, excuse me?”
>The bratty voice rang out behind Gilda, underscored by the girl impatiently tapping her foot against the floor
>It was enough to make Gilda’s spine crawl
“Look kid, you got the wrong place.”
>”Impossible.  This is a bar, and I’m here to drink.  Now serve me!”
>She continued tapping her foot, the volume slightly increasing with each passing second
>Gilda turned around in her seat, being careful to keep her eyes level with the girl’s forehead
“Serve you?  The fuck you talking about?  You’re like thirteen.”
>”I’ll have you know I’m a legal adult.  Check my ID.”
>From *somewhere* (Gilda was still forcing herself not to look anywhere below the girl’s chin), she pulled out a plastic ID
>As she stepped closer, Gilda got a deep whiff of some flowery perfume, so strong it made her head spin
>The ID was fairly well-made, but Gilda had years of experience with fakes
>You could tell a fake by the slight pixellation on official seals, or by the frayed edges where the lamination didn’t quite mesh with the plastic base
“Uh huh.  Well, Diamond Tiara, sure is convenient that today is *exactly* your eighteenth birthday.”
>Diamond started to sweat
>”It is.  And I came here to celebrate.  You should be thanking me for giving such a dingy, lonely place my money.”
“Nah, kid.  You should be thanking *me* for not calling the police on your hooker-looking ass.  Now get the fuck out.”
>”That’s not fair!”
>Gilda raised an eyebrow
”Tough shit.  Now get going.”
>Diamond started to shake, her little fists balling up in rage
>”You… you…”
>She glanced around, then a smug smile crossed her face
>Diamond leaned against one of the barrel-shaped barstools, slowly running a hand across her smooth stomach, down towards the hem of her dress
>”There’s something I could do to change your mind, I’d imagine.”
>Her fingers reached the skirt, lifting it just an inch or two, enough for Gilda to see a pair of pink, lacy panties
>Gilda’s jaw dropped
“Jesus fuckin’ Christ.  Are you trying to seduce me?”
>Diamond was sweating really hard now
>”C-clearly I am!  Don’t be such an idiot.  You’re only going to get one chance for some of *this*.”
>Diamond turned around and gave her own butt a smack
>Perhaps it was a bit too hard of a smack, though; the momentum was enough to unbalance her, and she started to wobble on her high-heels
>”Ah!  Help!”
>Just as Diamond was about to topple backwards, Gilda jumped up and grabbed the young girl by the arm, steadying her
>Diamond looked up, her face red
>”So, you’re seduced now, right?”
“Not even close.”
>Diamond pouted
>”That’s not fair!  I did everything the internet told me to do!  You’re supposed to buy me a drink, take me upstairs, defile me, and then we’ll fall in love!”
“There’s *so* much shit wrong with everything you just said, I’m not even gonna start.”
>Gilda groaned, running a hand across her forehead
“Listen kid.  You should really just head home, okay?  You’re only gonna get yourself— or me, probably —in trouble, hanging around here.”
>”But I don’t wanna go home.”
>Diamond slumped, looking dejected
>”There’s nothing for me at home.  The internet told me I could seduce someone here.  Then they’d have to take care of me!”
“You should, uh, stop listening to the internet.”
>”Guess so.  Bleh.”
>Diamond turned and started heading towards the door, her eyes on the floor and all the bratty confidence seemingly drained out of her
>Gilda watched her go, her knuckles clenching around the counter
“Wait.”
>The girl stopped with her hand on the door
“You shouldn’t be heading home like that.  Not if you’re alone.  Even in a city like Canterlot, there’s plenty of creeps.”
>”Well, I am alone.  So…”
>Gilda sighed, hardly able to believe she was saying this
“I’ll take you back.”
>Internally, she couldn’t think of a reason she should care about this girl, but she did
>Maybe it was because she, more than most people, knew what it was like to be alone and scared and to throw yourself into a predatory world as a result, but that’s only guesswork
>Diamond’s face brightened slightly
>”You will?  Well, I suppose my techniques worked after all.”
>She tried to pose, but only ended up stumbling on her heels
>Gilda shook her head
“Not even close.  Here, take a seat.”
>Gilda pulled out a chair next to the bar, and Diamond clambered up next to her
“First thing, cover up.  Kid like you shouldn’t dress like that.  It’s fucking weird.”
>”You don’t like the way it looks?” Diamond asked, looking slightly let down
“I, uh… I mean, I didn’t say that, but…”
>Gilda coughed, turning her face away so Diamond wouldn’t see the flush in her cheeks
“It’s not a good idea.  Not in this part of town.  You should put something on.”
>”I don’t have anything else.”
“Jesus.  Fine, here.”
>Gilda shrugged off her leather jacket and wrapped it around Diamond
>On the much smaller girl, the jacket fell almost to her mid thigh
>Diamond wrapped it around herself, nuzzling the material against her face
>”Hmm.  Faux leather.  Not impressed.”
“Fuck off.  I can’t afford real leather.  Plus it’d get ruined anyway.”
>”I understand.  It still smells nice…”
>Diamond took a long whiff of the jacket, closing her eyes to savor the scent
“You’re one weird fucking kid.”
>”Ms. Cheerilee says I’m very mature for my age.”
“Sure.  Just in all the wrong ways.”
>Diamond frowned
>”What am I supposed to do, then?  I just wanna fall in love!  But nobody pays any attention to me…”
“Love?  Fucking hell, kid.  How old are you?”
>”I told you, I’m—“
“I’m not buying your bullshit ID.  How old?”
>Diamond frowned
>”I’m thirteen.”
“Son of a bitch.  Thirteen?  Kid, you got plenty of time.”
>”Doesn’t feel like it.  Mom keeps asking when I’m gonna get a boyfriend.  She says if I don’t get one soon, I’ll be alone for the rest of my life!”
“Your mom sounds like a fucking psycho.”
>Diamond didn’t deny that
>She just hugged her arms around herself, folding her body deeper into Gilda’s jacket
>”She… she wouldn’t be happy if I told her I didn’t want a boyfriend.”
“Oof.  Yeah, I been there too.”
>”You have?”
>Diamond raised her head, staring at Gilda with wide, violet eyes
>”What did you do?”
“Something stupid.  Left home, couch-surfed for a few years.  Lived with anyone who would take me.”
>”That sounds amazing!”
“It wasn’t.  I mean, I guess it was better than being at home, but…”
>Gilda trailed off
“I’m not telling you to be like me.  Fuck, the last thing you want is to end up like me.”
>”Why not?  You seem awesome!“
>Diamond’s voice raised to a girlish squeak, then she immediately coughed to hide it
>”I mean, you seem like an admirable lady.”
>Gilda sputtered, nearly spitting out her beer
“Then you’ve got some terrible eyes, kid.  I’m just about the biggest burnout you’d find.”
>Diamond shrugged
>”I don’t know.  You seem really smart.  About this stuff, at least.  Not exactly in fashion sense.”
“Says the kid dressed like a hooker.”
>”This is Appleloosan leather!”
“Oops, sorry.  You’re a really, really fancy hooker.”
>Diamond turned her nose up
>”Hmph.  You’re just proving my point.”
“Whatever, kid.”
>Diamond suddenly looked panicked, probably worried she’d insulted the older woman
>”B-but it’s okay!  I understand, you ruffian types have to make due.  In fact, it’s quite… admirable, I believe.  How you’ve crafted your own sense of style from such inferior materials.”
“Uh, thanks?”
>”No need to thank me,” Diamond said offhandedly
>Gilda rolled her eyes
>She took a long swig of the Steel Reserve, doing whatever the opposite of “relishing” is as the battery-acid taste soaked into her tongue
>Diamond was fidgeting with the hem of Gilda’s jacket, her eyes flicking between the lanterns hanging from the ceiling
>Each of them cast a reddish glow in her pupils, and her cheeks were bathed in an unnatural reddish light as she turned back to Gilda, her haughty voice suddenly lowered to a child’s trepidatious whisper
>”How do I do it?”
“Do what?”
>”You know, get a girlfriend.  Where do I go?  Who do I talk to?”
“Fuck if I know.  You see anyone holding onto my arm?”
>”Well, no.  But I figured you’d know.”
“If I did, I wouldn’t be slumming around here.”
>”But you’ve been with someone before, right?” Diamond asked, her face now alight with determination
“I mean, I guess.  Managed to ruin it every time, though,” Gilda said
>She took a long, long draught of her beer, finishing it off and then crushing the can
>”Could you tell me about it?” Diamond asked
“Kid, you’re gonna have to get me way drunker first.”
>”I can!  I have money!”
>Diamond pulled out a velvet wallet, opening it to reveal row upon row of crisp green Benjamins
>For a moment, Gilda’s jaw hung slack
“Mother of God, kid!  Don’t just go around flashing that kinda cash!  Especially not around here!”
>Diamond immediately hid the purse
>”Sorry.  I didn’t mean to make you feel bad.”
“I don’t feel bad!  Just… fuck me, you really don’t get it.”
>”I think that’s the problem here.  I’m asking for your advice.  If you want some sort of payment, or maybe something else…”
>Diamond parted the jacket just enough to give Gilda a single tantalizing view of her minimalist skirt
>”…I think we could figure it out.”
>Gilda, in a moment of weakness, allowed herself to stare at Diamond’s very-visible, nubby chest
>Then she pulled her eyes away, biting her tongue in a form of self-punishment
“I’m not screwing you, kid.  You want advice, ask someone who hasn’t shat the bed in every relationship they’ve ever landed their sorry ass in.  I got nothing for you.”
>”I don’t have anyone else I can go to.  You’re the first person I’ve ever talked to about this stuff.  Well, except for Silver.  But I’m probably not gonna see her again.”
“Yeah?”
>Diamond nodded, downcast
>”Her dad doesn’t want me to see her anymore.  Not after he learned about… about how I am.”
“Fuck.  Yeah, I know what that’s like too.”
>Diamond whirled around in her seat, grabbing ahold of Gilda’s arm
>”That’s what I mean!  You know about all this stuff!”
>Gilda recoiled, once again getting flashes of FBI agents and Chris Hansen
“Agh!  Get off me, you!”
>Diamond didn’t let go
>”You know what I’m going through!  You’re the only one who does.  I need your help… you.”
>The younger girl bit her loop, vaguely embarrassed
>”I don’t even know your name yet.”
“Gilda.”
>”Right.  Gilda…”
>Diamond gulped, her brow furrowing in concentration
>”Please.  I don’t know what I can offer you.  But please help me.  I’m scared, I’m lonely, and I… I just don’t know what to do.  I don’t even know what I want.”
>She hugged Gilda’s jacket tighter around herself, shivering slightly inside of it
>”This is all so much.  I don’t know what to do.”
>Gilda wished she had another beer with her, but Celaeno was nowhere to be seen
>She brushed her hair out of her eyes, feeling that sort of powerful “wise sage” sensation that always comes with being sought out for advice
“You’re coming to the wrong girl for advice, kid.  But… I can try.”
>”Please do.  I promise, if you can help me…”
>Diamond closed her eyes, and her next breath came in a deep, lusty huff
>”I’ll do whatever you want.  Anything you ask, I promise I’ll try.”
“Fuck off with that.  You seem like a good kid—“
>”Please stop calling me a kid.”
“Uh… fuck it, sure.  Since you asked nicely.”
>Gilda mentally repeated that “fuck it,” and reached across the bar to grab a bottle of Dainty Hooves IPA
>She cracked the drink open and poured half of it down her throat
“You seem like a good girl.  I’ll tell you anything I can.  But don’t be surprised if everything blows up in your face.  The world’s a fucked-up place, Diamond.  Relationships are gonna turn into shit before you even know what’s happening.”
>Diamond Tiara hung her head
>”I know.  I mean, it’s already happened.  My best friend– my only friend –is pretty much gone.  I can’t get any lower than this.”
>Gilda let out a raspy chuckle, and reached out to pat Diamond’s shoulder
”Now that’s the spirit!  Can’t fuck up any harder than this.”
>With that, she killed the rest of the bottle and slammed it onto the bar
“Alright.  Let’s get you home.”
>”W-what?  Now?”
“Of course, now.”
>”But you’ve been drinking!”
“Hell yeah I have.  Trust me, Diamond.  I could drive like a fucking Mad Max character right now.”
>”If you get us in a crash, I’m going to be very upset.”
“Upset?  If this thing crashed, you’ll be dead!”
>Gilda took Diamond Tiara by the arm, guiding the younger girl out of the bar and towards the back lot, where her battered Softail lay waiting

>She couldn’t remember the last time she’d ridden without her jacket
>The wind tore through the thin, acid-washed muscle shirt Gilda was wearing, piercing her skin like dozens of chilly needles as her ‘cycle tore through the night
>Diamond sat behind her with the jacket wrapped tightly around herself and her scrawny arms clinging tightly to the older women
>”This seems incredibly unsafe!” she shouted, her attempt at haughtiness drowned out by the wind
“It’s the only way yer gettin’ home, kid.  I’m not letting you ride the bus dressed like that.”
>”But I—“
>Gilda accelerated, and the howling wind drowned out Diamond’s voice
>A few miles down the Canterlot freeway, Diamond tapped Gilda’s shoulder and motioned towards an exit
>Gilda took it, and the two rolled into the residential streets of Canterlot’s high-rolling upper-class neighborhoods
>With Diamond’s guidance, she trailed her way deeper into the maze of suburbs
>The houses on either side of the two girls alternated between austere stone mansions, complete with fountains and faux turrets, and giant modern constructions of glass and steel, with multicolored lights radiating from within
“Fuck.  You live in one of these.”
>”Of course I do.  My dad is…”
>Diamond trailed off
“Is who?”
>”Never mind.”
“Whatever, kid.”
>”You said you’d stop calling me that.”
>Gilda rolled her eyes
“Sorry, Diamond.”
>”That’s better.”
>Diamond gestured to a street corner, where a small park was nestled amongst the trunks of a few sycamore trees
>”Just drop me there.  I’ll walk the rest of the way home.”
“You sure?”
>”I’m sure.  I don’t want my parents seeing me get dropped off by…”
“By someone like me?”
>Diamond glanced away, looking guilty
“Nah, I get that.  Probably wouldn’t look good.”
>Gilda pulled up alongside the park, and Diamond clambered off
>She held out Gilda’s jacket, but Gilda shook her head
“You can hold onto it for now.  You *really* shouldn’t be walking around like that.”
>”I know.”
>Diamond hung her head, ashamed
>Gilda sighed, and killed her bike’s engine
>She stepped down and headed for a bench at the edge of the park, motioning for Diamond to follow her
>The two sat together, both at opposite edges of the bench
>Gilda remarked how strange this would look to any passers-by: a woman like her, the kind of person who spent two years as a Five Finger Death Punch roadie during the 2000’s, and this posh kid who tried to dress herself like a hooker
>Life was fuckin’ weird, man
>A streetlight above the two girls’ heads shone a cone of warm yellowish light down onto them, and that light caught in little silver streams flowing down Diamond’s face
>”I’m really sorry about all of this,” she said
>Remarkably, she kept her voice steady; Gilda wondered how long she’d had to practice that skill
“You got nothing to apologize for.  I did some stupid shit when I was your age too.  Worse, honestly.”
>Gilda leaned back, crossing her arms behind her head
>”Did you have someone to help you?”
“Nope.”
>”Then why are you doing this for me?”
“Good question.”
>”I see.”
“Look.  I’m probably not the best to come to for advice.  Most of my relationships ended, uh… not so great.  But if you wanna talk, I’ll be where you found me just about every night. ”
>Diamond nodded, wiping her eyes with the sleeve of the jacket
>”Thank you, Gilda.”
“Sure.”
>With that, the older woman got to her feet
“Guess I’d better get home now.  You can just bring that jacket back to the… to Tavern Wenches.  Christ, that name is embarrassing,” Gilda said, massaging her temples
>”Right!  I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
>Diamond jumped to her feet as well
>She took a hesitant step towards Gilda
>”Would it be okay if I hugged you?”
“Uh… yeah, sure.”
>Gilda awkwardly held her arms out and Diamond stepped into them
>She pressed herself up against Gilda, nuzzling her face against the space just below Gilda’s breasts, squeezing the older woman with her skinny arms
>Gilda just sort of patted the kid on the head, not really sure what to do in this situation
>She had been neither the giver or the recipient of very many hugs in her life
>When Diamond broke away, she stared up at Gilda with sparkling eyes
>”Well, um… bye!”
>And then she turned, sprinting away into the night