>It was mid-August, that time of year when the lingering summer heat draped like a blanket over the countryside, that a young Rainbow Dash, just about to turn ten, first came to Ponyville
>The decision to move had cost her parents more grief than they’d thought; as much as they loved her daughter, terms like ADHD, ODD, and “disruptive behavior” had begun to be thrown around during parent teacher conferences 
>Windy and Bo knew their Dashie was special, and they hoped that a little extra space to roam would help her discharge some of that energy that kept her unable to sit still in a classroom
>Little Rainbow herself, however, could not quite get over how empty the countryside looked, and how boringly tiny Ponyville seemed as her parents’ station wagon pulled up to their new house
>It was a nice place, much nicer than where they’d lived in Cloudsdale, but every house looks massive to a child, and Rainbow was far from impressed
>And so, for those first few awkward days, Rainbow did her best to avoid the place
>The moment her parents unpacked her bike, she was off, pedaling down dirt roads and across the gravel paths that crisscrossed the apple trees that encircled the patch of town like a fence

>There were afternoons when she’d dream of pedaling back to Cloudsdale
>Obviously she knew that would be impossible, and there wasn’t even much reason to miss the place
>She hadn’t left any friends behind, nor anyplace particularly special
>But when you’re feeling out of sorts, anyplace familiar will do
>She’d probably have continued on alone for years, too, if she hadn’t nearly crashed into that idiot farmgirl

***

“Hey!  Look out!”
>Dash slammed her feet down on the pedals, jamming them backwards to slow the bike
>The girl whirled around, her eyes going wide when she saw the bike barreling towards her
>She managed a quick “what in tarna—“ before she threw herself to the side, hitting the ground and rolling as Rainbow careened past her
>The bike’s tire slipped on the loose earth, and Rainbow lost the little bit of control she maintained over the vehicle
>It flipped, tossing her up into the air, and Rainbow seemed to hang in suspension above the small forest clearing for half a second, before she crashed back to earth
>She rolled onto her back, dazed, staring up at the sky
>A sky which was quickly blotted out by a freckled face, staring down at her with concern
>”Y’all okay?  Ya hit the ground like a baby pigeon!”
“I’m fine!” Dash choked out, her chest aching from the impact.  “You’re lucky I didn’t run you over.”
>”Lucky?  Y’all were ridin’ that thing like a maniac!  Yer the lucky one.  Coulda really hurt yourself.”
“Hmph.”
>Dash sat up, dusting herself off
“I woulda been fine.  You just had to be walking in the middle of the road.”
>”It ain’t a road, it’s a path.  Yer in the middle of Sweet Apple Acres.”
“Huh?”
>”This is my family’s land.”
“Oh…”
>Dash could feel herself go pale, briefly wondering if she was going to get the cops called on her again
>But there was no way she was gonna let this smug country-bumpkin realize she was scared
“Like I care!  I can ride wherever I want, even if it’s on your crappy farm!”
>The farmgirl’s face twisted in rage, little blotches of red coloring her freckled cheeks
>”Hey!  Take that back!”
>She grabbed Dash by her shirt’s collar
“Not until you learn to stay outta the road!”
>”Yer the one trespassin’!”
>Dash snarled, shoving the girl away
>The two girls staggered away from each other
>Dash raised her hands, balling them into fists
>The farmgirl did the same
>”You wanna play rough?”
“Lemme show you how we do it in Cloudsdale.”
>”Y’all couldn’t even smash applesauce with those skinny arms!”
“You’re too dumb to even throw a punch!  You and your redneck family!”
>”Take that back!”
>The girls charged each other, both swinging clumsy, vicious punches at each other
>After a few seconds of chaotic scuffling, both stumbled backwards
>Rainbow’s left eye stung like crazy, and her vision had gone blurry
>The farmgirl’s nose dripped with blood, which she wiped with the back of her hand
>Both stared each other down, raising their fists to fight again
>And that’s when the ear-piercing call arose from far across the fields, carried by those shrill and undulating tones that only a family matriarch can possess
>”Applejack!  Hurry up!  Dinner’s ready!”
>The farmgirl glanced at Rainbow, then towards the source of the noise
>”Yer lucky my granny’s calling!  If you ever show up here, I’ll knock ya out cold!”
“Try it!  I wouldn’t want to set foot in this dump again!”
>Both girls turned, secretly glad for an excuse to leave the fight
>They really hadn’t expected that getting punched would *hurt* that badly

>Of course, Bo and Windy were beside themselves with worry
>They didn’t buy Dash’s “I fell off my bike and hit my face on a rock” story a bit, and pestered their daughter with endless questions over who hit her, and when, and why, etc.
>All the obligatory parental fussing
>But Dash wouldn’t say a word
>She swore oath after oath of revenge in her heart
>And so, two days later, she was biking towards Sweet Apple Acres again, this time determined that, if her bike ran into Applejack, it would be on purpose
>August was giving way to September then, and swollen, dark rainclouds hung in the sky, making it difficult to see where she was headed
>Vision problems were compounded by the black eye, which had still refused to heal
>When she reached the acres, it was too dark to see much more than the path in front of her
>And it wasn’t long before everything started to look the same
>Dash pedaled harder when she felt the first few raindrops plunk against her helmet, driving herself relentlessly forward
>In the distance, thunder cracked and boomed, and occasional flashes of lightning lit up the apple trees, making them look skeletal and haunting
>A tiny sliver of fear began to prod at Rainbow’s chest, and she resolved to turn and head home
>But as she whipped her bike around, the rain-softened ground gave way, sending her spilling to the ground
>She hid hard, trying to catch herself on her feet
>But the soft ground deflected her foot to the side, and a sickening *snap* reached Rainbow’s ears as her ankle broke
>She rolled across the grass, ending up in a ditch beside the path with her mouth full of mud
“A-ah…”
>Raising her head, she tried to call out
“Help…”
>But the fall had driven the air from her lungs, and the searing pain radiating up her leg made it impossible to get her voice higher than a whisper
“Please… help…”
>Drops of rain flicked down across her body, splattering her face and soaking into her clothes
>Dash could feel herself sinking into the ground as it slowly turned to mud
>She dug her hands into the ground, trying to haul herself back up onto the path, but the earth just came apart in chunks around her fingers
>Rolling onto her stomach, she stared desperately at the crest of the bank, hoping against hope that someone would step into view, anyone
>And when someone finally did, she was so delirious with pain that almost didn’t believe what she’d seen
>Her body shivered as she was lifted up in strong arms, finding herself carried by a girl who seemed strangely familiar
>Dash couldn’t speak, not move much at all, but she managed to keep her eyes open just long enough to watch as the farmgirl carried her into a warm, candlelit barn, and laid her atop a bed of straw
>When her eyes closed, she vaguely felt herself being wrapped in a blanket, and then all went dark

***

“Why’d you do it?”
>It was the third time Rainbow had seen Applejack
>She’d biked to Sweet Apple Acres again, then pulled up alongside the farmgirl the moment she saw her
“Why?” she asked again
>”What do ya mean?”
“You know what I mean.  Why’d you help me?”
>”Well shoot, what was I supposed t’ do?  Just leave ya there?”
“But we hate each other!”
>”Hate?  I don’t hate ya.  You just said something mighty foolish last time, and I had to teach ya a lesson.  Nothin’ personal.”
“But… but…”
>”Use your words, sugarcube.”
>Dash shook her head
>”Are you sayin’ you wouldn’t have done the same?”
“No way!”
>”Ha!  Yer lyin’, I can see it on your face.”
“Am not!”
>”Are too.  I can spot a lie better ’n anyone.”
“Hmph.”
>”So what’d ya really come here to say?”
“That was it!  I wanted an answer, and I got one.  It’s a stupid answer, but whatever.”
>”Yer a really terrible liar.  No wonder yer folks were frettin’ over ya.”
“Don’t remind me,” Rainbow muttered
>”So, what’re ya really here for?  Don’t make me wrestle the answer outta ya.”
“You couldn’t even if you tried!”
>”Ya wanna make that a bet?”
“Yer on!”
>Dash jumped off her bike, and charged the farmgirl
>In ten seconds flat, she was pinned, with Applejack sitting on her chest
>She wiggled under her, but the farmgirl was dense, and seemed to know how to position her weight in the exact perfect spot to cancel out Dash’s leverage
>With a truly vicious strength, she pinned Dash’s arms to the ground, grinning smugly down at her
>”I got an older brother and a dozen cousins, Sugarcube.  Ya don’t know the first thing about wrestling.”
>Dash snarled
>”Ya know, when I wrestle my cousins, usually the loser gets a little of this…”
>She opened her mouth, letting a long, silver strand of spittle hang off her tongue, threatening to drip onto Rainbow’s face
“You wouldn’t!”
>”Ah won’t,” she said, her voice muffled by her tongue, “If ya tell me why yer really here.”
“Agh, fine!”
>She wriggled, trying to avoid the spittle dangling over her face
“I came to say thank you, you psycho!”
>Applejack laughed, spitting into the grass
>”I knew it!”
“Yeah, yeah.  Now lemme go!”
>Applejack rolled off, and Rainbow rolled to the side
“You’re craze.”’
>”Yer the one who wanted to wrestle so bad, sugarcube.”
“I didn’t know you’d try to slobber on me!”
>”Cause yer inexperienced.”
“Hmph.”
>Dash crossed her arms, turning away
“Whatever.  I said thank you.”
>”Yer welcome.”
>A moment of silence passed between the two, in which the only sounds were the rustling of leaves and the whisper of a nearby stream
>”There’s still somethin’ ya wanna tell me, I can tell.”
“You need to stop doing that.”
>”Not gonna happen.”
>Dash frowned
>She stared at the ground, unable to meet Applejacks’ eyes
”Can you… can you teach me what you just did?”
>”Teach y’all what now?”
“How to wrestle like that!”
>Applejack grinned
>”Y’all bet I can!  Follow me, let’s go find a better spot!”
>The two traced a path between the trees, until they emerged in wide, flat field
>Near the tree line, discarded hay bales were arranged in a crude circle, the middle of which was filled with matted hay
>”My cousins an’ me have tournaments out here every summer!” Applejack proudly proclaimed.  “I always win, unless Big Mac joins.  Or Braeburn, but he bites, so it’s not really fair.”
“Whoa.”
>Rainbow would never admit it, but the idea of having a giant family to wrestle sounded pretty awesome
>”Well, we ain’t gettin’ any younger, sugarcube.  Follow me!”
>She led Dash into the center of the ring, kicking off her boots and standing barefoot on the straw
>Dash did the same, setting her shoes on the side of the ring
>The hay was slippery and dry under her feet, and she joined Applejack in the center

>It was hardly an even match-up
>Applejack pinned Dash over and over, but Dash refused to admit defeat
>And so the two rolled through the hay for hours, until both were sweating, exhausted, and itchy
>They sat together at the edge of the ring, catching their breath
>Rainbow Dash had never really had a friend before, and she didn’t really understand what the warm, fluttery feeling in her chest was
>But she liked it, and as she watched the freckled farmgirl laugh while recounting a story of how she’d trounced a cousin in a long-past wrestling match, some golden and strong formed inside her

>The two were inseparable after that
>At Ponyville’s tiny gradeschool, they shared all the same classes, spent every recess trying to sneak out of school grounds, and walked home together when soccer practice was over
>Applejack was terrible at soccer, but joined the team anyway to be with her friend; Rainbow was delighted to finally be better than the farmgirl at something
>Eventually, Sweet Apple Acres became like a second home to Rainbow; she spent so many nights with Applejack that, to the rest of the Apple family, she felt something like a surrogate sister or daughter
>It wasn’t until the beginning of her second Summer in Ponyville– the girls were both eleven at that point –that Rainbow began to notice a shift in the way she felt about the farmgirl

***

>”Y’all bored?”
“Huh?”
>Dash had been staring up at the sky, dreaming of flitting between the wispy scraps of summer cloud
“Yeah, I guess.”
>”Me too.”
>Applejack pulled herself to her feet, stretching
>She was dressed in her usual battered jeans and a faded white t-shirt, and beads of sweat clung to her tanned skin
>”Hey!  I ain’t showed you Crane’s Creak yet!”
“You ain’t showed me what, yet?”
>Rainbow hardly noticed when she slipped into country-talk around her friend anymore
>”Crane’s Creak!  I bet it’s running like crazy now, after the spring rain!  C’mon!”
>She grabbed Rainbow by the hand, pulling the her to her feet
>Together, the two ran into the woods, with Applejack leading the way
>It felt good to jog on days like this; a gentle breeze lifted up from between the branches of the trees, cooling the sweat as quickly as it formed on Dash’s bare legs and upturned face
>She turned her head skyward, thinking that flying must feel something like this, except on steroids
>Then she turned her gaze back towards Applejack
>The farmgirl was already half a foot taller than Rainbow, a fact she loved to tease her friend with
>But despite the height difference, Rainbow could outpace her easily, and found that she had to slow her pace to avoid deliberately overtaking Applejack
>She slowed into a light jog, her eyes fixed on the back of her friend’s neck, where a few blond hairs were plastered against that golden-orange skin by the farmgirl’s sweat
>Not for the first time, a queasy feeling began to build up in Dash’s stomach the longer she looked at Applejack
>It felt a little like being sick, but not quite; more like that excited, fluttery gut-feeling you get on Christmas morning
>She didn’t know what to make of it and, like she did with most things she couldn’t immediately figure out, she just ignored it
>Applejack ducked through a gap between the lines of apple trees, motioning for Rainbow to follow her
>Rainbow did, stepping carefully to avoid snagging her foot on a root or loose stone
>Didn’t want to repeat a certain experience from a year ago, after all…

>”Hear that?” Applejack called back
>Rainbow listened, hearing the whisper of water over rock
>She had the curious feeling she’d been here before
“Yeah!  We close?”
>”Sure are!  Just over here!”
>The two crested a hill, and found themselves overlooking a rocky channel snaking through the farmland
>Trees clustered in on both banks, forming a sort of privacy-curtain around the stream
>Through it flowed a deep current of crystal-blue water, nearly three feet deep in places and shimmering in the midday sun
“Whoa!  I had no idea this was here!”
>”That’s why I’m showin’ it to ya, sugarcube.  Now let’s go swimmin’!”
>Applejack started to run down towards the water, kicking up stones and clods of dirt
“Swim?  I didn’t bring a suit!”
>”What do ya need a suit for?” Applejack asked
>When she reached the water’s edge, Applejack grabbed her shirt and pulled it up and over her head
>She wore nothing beneath it, not even a training bra, and Dash was offered a full glimpse of her stocky, muscular build
>Unlike Rainbow’s chest, which remained stubbornly flat, Applejack already had the rounded bumps of developing breasts
>The shaky feeling building up inside of Rainbow suddenly increased tenfold, and she couldn’t think of anything to say or do, other than to stare
>Applejack didn’t seem to notice or care
>She kicked off her boots and unfastened her jeans, sliding them down her legs along with her underwear
>All in all, it took roughly three seconds for her to strip completely naked
>Neatly, she folded her clothes and draped them over a log, then turned to stare at Rainbow
>”Well?  Don’t jus’ stand there lookin’ like a spooked calf!  C’mon in!”
“I…but…”
>Dash gulped; her throat suddenly felt dry
>Sweat gleamed along the smooth musculature of Applejack’s figure, and Rainbow could see the coils of strength tighten and smooth beneath her friend’s skin as Applejack began to wade into the pool
>”But what?  Don’ tell me y’all city folk don’t go swimmin’!”
“We do, but…” 
>She trailed off, mumbling, “We’re not usually naked…” under her breath
>”Well hurry up then!  I’ll race ya to that tire-swing!”
>The prospect of a race got Dash out of her clothes pretty
>She had to turn her back to Applejack though, feeling weirdly self-conscious as she peeled off her sweat-soaked shorts and t-shirt, piling them up next to her friend’s
>When her bare feet met the water, goosebumps bristled up along her legs
>Applejack laughed at that
>”Ha!  Not used to the cold, eh?”
“S-shut up.  It’s freezing!”
>She really shouldn’t have said that; Applejack splashed an armful of water into Rainbow’s face, and she yelped
“Not funny!  Get back here”!
>She charged into the water, trying to tackle her friend
>And she probably could have, but as soon as she was about to throw herself on top of Applejack, she suddenly stopped, slowing just enough for the farmgirl to escape
>Something about wrestling her naked felt…
>She didn’t know how to describe it, but it made that quiver take on a weird, electric quality
>Rainbow circled around Applejack, keeping most of her body beneath the water
>Applejack reached over and slapped her on the back
>”What are ya, shy?  C’mon!  Tire swing’s that way!”
>Without even waiting for a response, she took off, her body cleaving a path through the rippling water
>Rainbow closed her eyes, squeezing the feeling down into the deeper recesses of herself, and ran after her friend

>It wasn’t the first time the two visited the stream
>In fact, over the weeks of boredom, it became their single favorite place to spend an afternoon
>Rainbow would go out of her way to ask Applejack to take her there, and the farmgirl almost always obliged
>And while Rainbow learned to ignore the feeling she felt when she admired Applejack’s figure, it never quite went away
>In fact, it only strengthened, kept safe in the hidden parts of Dash and fed by some of the most fun and innocent afternoons of her life
>It wasn’t until the end of that summer that she finally learned to give that feeling a name

***

>Music boomed through the auditorium as Rainbow chased Applejack through the rows of tables, both of them dodging between adults dressed up in suits and dresses
>Several drunken shouts of merriment, anger, or just confusion followed them
>”Under there!”
>Applejack pointed towards one of the large banquet tables, which was draped in a heavy white tablecloth
>Both girls rolled underneath it, ending up breathless, grinning, and hidden beneath it
“What’d you get?”
>”This!”
>Applejack held out a bottle of Sweet Apple Acres-brand Cider
“Nice!”
>”Granny never lets me have any!  Let’s crack it open!”
>Outside, the sounds of drunken revelry and country-style dancing continued amidst the slush of music

>It was the wedding reception for some Apple-family cousin, Dash couldn’t remember who
>The entire clan was assembled in a huge mash of fun-loving rednecks, all of whom danced and drank and feasted on piles of delicious apple treats
>Applejack had begged to bring Rainbow with, and the two had, as usual, made absolute fools of themselves
>Granny Smith was starting to complain that Rainbow was a bad influence, and you’d be hard-pressed to prove her wrong
>Rainbow held up the glass bowl she’d snagged off one of the dinner tables
>It was filled with M&M’s
“Eh?  Not bad?”
>”Ha!  Not bad, sugarcube, but nothing like this!”
>Her face, already sweaty from an evening of troublemaking, shone with effort as she twisted the bottle’s cap off
>Applejack took the first sip, and spit it out
>”Yuck!  It tastes like it’s gone bad!”
“What?  Lemme try!”
>Rainbow grabbed the bottle from her friend and took a swig
>It tasted like really, really sour apple juice, and it burned her throat going down
“Ack!  Your family sells this stuff?”
>”People tell us it’s good!”
“They’re crazy then.  Bleh!”
>Rainbow gobbled down a handful of candy to clear the taste from her mouth
>Applejack, meanwhile, was peering from beneath the table cloth, watching the party going on outside
“What’re you looking at?”
>”Jus’ watchin’ my cousins dance.  Looks kinda fun.”
>She looked over at Rainbow
>”Wanna try?”
“No way.  Dancing is *so* lame.”
>”Not the way my family does it!”
“Psh.  Nah.  Lame, no matter what.”
>Applejack looked a little downcast
“Ah, fine.  I’ll try, but I’m gonna look stupid.”
>”Everyone’s drunk, sugarcube.  We all look stupid!”
“Good point…”
>Applejack’s hand closed around Dash’s, sending a spike into the latter’s chest
>She let Applejack pull her out from under the table, leading her into the center of the room
>Rainbow found she couldn’t focus on anything other than the quality of Applejack’s hand, how rough the girl’s palm was, and way the heat and the sweat of her fingers seemed to make them stick to Rainbow’s skin
>Applejack pulled her into the center of the dance floor, just as the current country-rock tune wound down
>”Hey, everyone…” someone with a real *twang* to their voice spoke over the microphone.  “I think we’re gonna try something a little slower now.  If y’all could just grab a partner.”
“Oh, great.  Just in time for the lame—“
>Applejack’s hand closed over Rainbow’s shoulder
>”Ah hush, you.  Let’s have fun!”
“H-huh?”
>Dash didn’t have much time to argue
>She was suddenly aware of how close her friend was to her
>It was a different kind of close from when they wrestled, too
>This was something gentler, a kind of careful bond untainted by violence and goading
 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AJBEVgnND6k

>The song started out slow, with simple, clean guitars and an easy rhythm
>Applejack started to sway, keeping her hand on Rainbow’s hand and sort of pulling her along as the two gently rocked in place
>”See?  Not so hard, is it?”
“G-guh…” was all Rainbow could manage
>As the drums picked up, Applejack began to turn the two of them in circles, her eyes on locking on Rainbow’s face
>Rainbow tried to look away, but found herself rooted in place by her friend’s emerald gaze, ending up blushing furiously as she locked eyes with Applejack
>Applejack gave her a small smile
>”Yer not to bad, sugarcube.  Let’s try somethin’ a little harder.”
>Applejack had long-since discarded the fancy shoes her granny forced to wear, as had Rainbow, so the two of them began to step barefoot in a clunky, a-rhythmic zig-zag across the dance floor
>And all the while, Applejack held Rainbow close, watching her friend’s face
>They danced for the rest of the night
>Not always slow-dances; some of them were frenetic jigs, holding tight to each other’s hands as they whirled in circles around each other, breathless and laughing
>When the end of the night came, the two piled into the back of Big Mac’s truck for the ride home, both of them exhausted beyond belief
>Applejack passed out almost immediately, slumping against Rainbow’s side
>But Dash couldn’t sleep, even if she was too tired to even lift her head from where it rested atop Applejack’s
>She knew what it was she felt
>That strange quiver she felt when she saw her friend, that weird desire to hug the girl that kept creeping up, the melancholy she felt whenever Applejack wasn’t around, the rush she got when they held hands…
>It was the kind of thing that would have made her younger self retch, but there was no denying it
>She was in love with the farmgirl

***

>Rainbow buried that realization deeper than anything she’d ever felt before
>And, for all Applejack’s ability to see the see the truth, she never saw the change in her friend
>Not that there was much to see, really; Rainbow Dash had hidden her love away so well that even she almost forgot it existed
>The trips to the stream ended, of course; Dash didn’t think she could risk seeing her friend naked again, knowing what she knew
>And when they spent the night together, she began to insist on sleeping on the floor instead of sharing a bed with the farmgirl, something that confused Applejack, but that she also accepted
>Their friendship, to anyone but Rainbow Dash, remained unchanged
>Every possible moment was spent together, both at and away from school
>And while other friends came and went, they never quite shared the same bond
>They couldn’t, of course; in Dash’s mind, nobody would ever equal Applejack
>And that’s why, as much as she tried to clamp down her feelings, they refused to stay put
>Gradually, the box she had locked her love away in succumbed to age, and the old feelings crept out in dreams and fantasy
>There were nights she’d lay on her back amidst messy, tangled bedsheets, staring at the ceiling and stewing in guilt as she entertained brief, vivid fantasies of having Applejack lying next to her
>And when she finally slept, the farmgirl flitted through her dreams, sometimes dancing with her, sometimes running playfully out of reach, sometimes kissing her…
>But, at the end of the dreams, she’d always vanish, leaving Rainbow confused, frightened, and very much alone
>Rainbow Dash kept this hidden for five years
>Two weeks after her sixteenth birthday, though, something in her snapped

>Rainbow awoke in a cold sweat, rolling onto her back
>”Dashie?”
>She heard her mother’s voice at the door
“Yeah?” she managed to croak out
>”You okay, sweetie?  You were mumbling something in your sleep.”
“I’m fine, mom,” she said, her voice quavering
>Windy sighed and stepped into her daughter’s bedroom, pushing aside the clothes perpetually strewn on Dash’s mattress and taking a seat on the edge of her bed
>”What’s wrong, Dashie?  You can tell me.”
“It’s nothing.”
>A look of concern crossed Windy’s face
>”You sure?”
“I’m sure.”
>But as her mother got up to leave, Dash called after her
“Wait!”
>Windy waited
“If I… if I felt like I really liked someone…”
>”Aww!  You have a crush, don’t you!”
“Y-yeah…”
>”That’s adorable!  Who’s the lucky boy?”
“It’s not a— it’s nobody you know,” Rainbow lied
>”Okay, okay,” Windy said
>She gave her daughter a conspiratorial wink
“I don’t know what to do.”
>”What do you mean?  You should tell him!”
“I can’t.”
>”Why not?”
>Rainbow didn’t have an answer for that
>”The worst he can say is no!”
“Yeah, that’s what I’m afraid of…”
>”Aww, Dashie.”
>Windy threw an arm around her daughter, hugging Dash against her chest
>”Even if he says no, it won’t make you any less of a special, lovable girl!  It’ll just be his loss!  You’ll still be the same wonderful Dashie we love.”
>She planted a kiss on her daughter’s forehead
“Heh.  Yeah, I guess you’re right.”
>Dash gulped, feeling a nervous lump form in her throat
“Thanks, mom.”
>”No problem.  Get some rest now, sweetie.  You’re gonna need your strength, if you’re about to make some lucky guy’s day!”

***

>It took her two weeks to decide how to tell Applejack
>Well, that, and to muster up the courage
>Actually it was mostly the second thing, but Dash would be dead before she admitted to herself that she was afraid
>But she was, in ways she herself couldn’t even fully understand
>She spent two whole sleepless nights staring at herself in the bathroom mirror, dark blotches forming under her eyes as she recited her lines over and over, trying to get them perfect and terrified that she’d still screw them up somehow

>”Y’all doing alright, Rainbow?”
“Huh?”
>Dash blinked, her bleary eyes having trouble bringing her friend’s face into focus
>The busy halls of Canterlot High surged around the two of them, packed with bustling students and the slush of chit-chat
>”You look like ya been kicked by a heavyweight mule.”
“Eh.  I’m okay.”
>Your voice comes out as a very not-okay croak
>Applejack chuckles at that
>”Just lemme know if ya need me, sugarcube.”
>With that, she turned to leave
“Actually, uh…”
>Dash’s throat seized up as a tingling sheen of nervousness seemed to spread across her skin
>”What’s that?”
“I, um…”
>Dash forced herself to swallow, feeling like she’d just eaten several bites of sand
“I actually had something I wanted to talk to you about!  After school.”
>”Sure thing!  What about?”
“I… I’ll tell you later!”
>She practically shouted the last line, and Rainbow could feel the blush rising in her cheeks
>Several nearby classmates turned their heads in her and Applejack’s direction, looking concerned
>The farmgirl just laughed
>”Must be somethin’ important, if it’s got ya all bothered like this.  Well, y’all know where to find me!”
>She gave Rainbow a small wave, and walked off
>Dash watched her go, panting
>In that moment, she thought to herself that she’d give anything, do anything, just for Applejack to say she liked her back…

>School was, of course, an absolute slog
>Every minute crept by as if it were limping, filled with speculation and desperate hope for how the afternoon would turn out
>When class ended, Rainbow found Applejack at her locker, engaging in pleasant chitchat with Fluttershy
“Hey, AJ?”
>Dash’s voice come out as a shrill, nervous squeak, far from the confident and sultry tones she’d imagined during her practice sessions
>Applejack smiled at her friend
>”Hey, sugarcube!  What was that you wanted to talk about?”
>Rainbow looked over at Fluttershy, who smiled innocently back
“Could we go somewhere private?  It’s… yeah.”
>She couldn’t complete the sentence; once again, her throat felt like pure, raw dust
>Applejack raised an eyebrow at that
>”Sure thing.  What’d you have in mind?”
“Uh… the roof, maybe?”
>”Now yer talkin’!  Lead the way!”

>Together, the two girls crept into the janitor’s closet, then ascended the ladder that lead to CHS’s roof
>Outside, the sun streamed down in soft, yellow-orange autumn ribbons
>Below them, the ground was alive with mottled reddish-brown, as the last of the tries still clinging to summer began to shed their leaves
>The faintest hint of a crisp breeze stirred the air, smelling of dead plants and bonfires
>Applejack and Rainbow sat on bare concrete at the edge of the roof, their feet dangling over the three-story drop to the pavement below
>”Well?  What’s this big secret yet keepin’ from me, sugarcube?”
>Dash gulped
>For a few moments, her mouth just worked soundlessly
“I… well, I…”
>All the careful lines she’d prepared just fizzled out of existence, leaving her with only a blank-minded panic
“Never mind.”
>”Huh?  Sugarcube, you don’t just drag someone up to the roof for a never mind.  What’s eatin’ at ya?”
“I was thinking that… no.  I shouldn’t.  I had something to tell you, but I don’t think you’d want to hear it.  It was something stupid.”
>”Rainbow.”
>Applejack put a hand on her friend’s shoulder
>”You know me.  You ain’t gonna sneak anything like that past ol’ AJ.  I can tell somethin’s botherin’ ya somethin’ fierce.  You can tell me.”
“Ah.  Okay.  I…”
>Dash closed her eyes and let a deep breath of the brittle air fill her lungs
“I like you.  You know, like, I *like* you.  Maybe even love, I don’t know.  I’m sorry.  I’ve been feeling like this for so long, and I know it’ll make our friendship weird, I know it’s gross, I just don’t… but if you maybe, feel… or if you don’t, it’s still…”
>She sighed
>Applejack was silent for a long time
>”Ha!  Yer not pullin’ my leg, right?”
“No!  No, of course not!”
>”Well shoot, girl.”
>Applejack brushed her ponytail over her shoulder, where it caught the fading light and lit up in bands of dirty gold
>She was blushing furiously, unable to meet Rainbow’s eye
>”I’m flattered.  Ya really like a beat-up ol’ cowgirl like me?  That’s really, really nice t’ hear, you have no idea.”
“Yeah?”
>A tiny bit of hope entered into Rainbow’s voice
>”But… I don’t really swing that way, sugarcube.  I’m mighty sorry.”
>Applejack gave her friend an apologetic grin
“O-oh.”
>”Yeah.  I reckon it’s not the answer ya wanted to hear, right?”
“I… I guess not.”
>Rainbow hung her head, staring at the pavilion nearly forty feet below them
>Something dark and refreshingly cold settled in over her as the autumn sun touched the horizon, beginning to sink below it
>”I’m sorry.  I promise, it ain’t nothin’ against you!  Yer my best friend, and yer never gonna stop bein’ my best friend.  I just, y’know, don’t really feel that way about other girls.”
“No, I know what you mean.  I’m sorry.”
>”Shoot, ya got nothin’ to apologize for!  For what it’s worth, I think ya got mighty good taste in girls.”
>Applejack slapped Rainbow Dash’s back
>”And I can guarantee yer gonna meet a girl who’d knock a farmhand like me outta my boots!”
“Hah.”
>”What’s so funny?”
“I think that’s the first time you’ve ever lied to me, Applejack.”
>”What do y’all mean?”
“I don’t think I’ll ever find anyone else like you.”
>Dash locked eyes with the farmgirl
>And after a moment’s pause, Dash smiled
“I don’t think I could ever find a better friend.”
>”Ha!  Well, I ain’t gonna argue with you on that one.”
>She patted Dash’s shoulder again, laughing
>Rainbow closed her eyes, savoring that touch
>As the brittle gray of an autumn evening fell around them, Dash thought to herself that, even if Applejack didn’t love her back, this was enough
>Just sitting with her, just being worthy of her smile, was more than anyone could ask for
>And so Rainbow Dash told herself she was perfectly happy, just like this

***

>From then on, Rainbow Dash no longer had to bury her secret
>There was no need to; a sort of blank indifference had settled in over her
>Almost overnight, her hopes of being with the farmgirl died
>It was kind of a relief, really
>After months of worrying, here she was
>Completely hopeless
>But if you’re living it right, hopelessness can feel remarkably carefree
>So, from then on, Rainbow Dash dedicated everything she could to being the best damn friend the farmgirl could ever want
>And that’s why she found herself sitting in a grungy Hayburger booth across from Soarin, who was staring at her with that stupid doe-eyed look he always got when she was around
>No matter how many times she told him, the poor bastard just couldn’t accept that Dash was gay
“Eyes up here, fucker.”
>”Sorry,” he mumbled, taking a long drag of his milkshake
>Dash groaned, rubbing her temples
“Listen.  I called you here for a reason.”
>”This isn’t a date?”
“No!  I told you it wasn’t a date when I called you!”
>”I thought you were being tsundere.”
“Tsun-what?”
>”Nothing!” Soarin squeaked, his face going red.  “Keep talking.”
>Dash shook her head, hardly believing she was doing this
“I need you to do me a favor.  You know Applejack?”
>”The Sweet Apple Acres girl?”
“Yeah, her.  I want you to take her to Fall Formal.”
>”Take Applejack?  But I was gonna ask—“
“I’m not interested.  Besides, I wouldn’t go if you paid me.  But Applejack… she’s always wanted to go.  You wouldn’t guess it, but she’s a hell of a dancer.”
>Rainbow pushed memories of her and the farmgirl’s first, and only, dance out of her head
“And she’d never admit it, but she wants to go.  Really bad.  So you’re gonna take her.”
>”Why don’t you, if you like her so much?” Soarin shot at her
>Rainbow’s knuckles cracked, and she momentarily considered shanking Soarin with a french fry
“Because she doesn’t wanna go with a girl, retard.  Applejack deserves a real date.”
>Soarin went silent, and Dash realized what she said
“You know what I mean.  So.  Is it a date?”
>Soarin considered for a moment
>”Only if you kiss me.”
“Hilarious.  You’re on thin ice, kiddo.”
>”Right, right.  Alright, I’ll ask her.  Anything for you, Dash—“
“Can it.  And you better treat her right!  Fancy dinner and everything, or else.”
>”Sure!  I’ll ask my mom for money.”
“Damn right.  If she isn’t gushing about this to me by next week, you’re gonna spend practice running suicides for the next two weeks.”
>Soarin gulped
>Looks like he didn’t have a witty comment to make about that; being captain of the track team definitely had its benefits

>The plan worked
>Two days later, Applejack and Rainbow were lounging at the local run-down arcade, sipping lukewarm cokes while the farmgirl relayed how she’d been asked out, for the first time in her life
>”I can’t believe it!  Someone really wants to take me to a dance!”
“Heh, yeah.  Crazy world, huh?”
>”What should I wear?  Shucks, what do people even *wear* to dances?”
>Rainbow shrugged
“You’re asking the wrong girl.”
>”Naaaah.  I know someone has a few fancy dresses in her closet.”
>Rainbow blushed
“My mom buys those for me.  I don’t actually wear them.”
>She did, a few times
>But never in public
>Applejack reached across the table, resting a hand on Rainbow’s shoulder
>In the smoky, neon-lit ambience of the arcade, her eyes looked like they were filled with tiny Christmas lights
>”You’ll help me pick out a dress, right?”
“Me?  For real?”
>Dash could feel the tiniest squick of that old love blossoming in her chest
“I mean, yeah.  Sure.  I guess I could.”

>And she did
>A week before the Formal, the two girls met at this old second-hand store, and Rainbow piled her arms with potential outfits for her friend
>She didn’t have much of an eye for fashion, of course
>So she just picked the ones that she herself would have loved to see Applejack in
>And then she sat on the floor, legs tucked against her chest and a fingernail in her mouth, while she waited for the farmgirl to return

>”What do ya think of this one?”
>Applejack stepped out of the changing rooms, standing in front of Rainbow with her hands at her sides
>She wore a full-length, aquamarine dress, made of this shimmery fabric that clung tightly to her muscled curves
>The dress was clearly made for someone with a slimmer figure, and bulged provocatively at Applejacks chest, and by her hips
>Rainbow gulped, her mouth going dry
“It’s… whoa.”
>Applejack smiled, giving her ponytail a self-conscious flick over her shoulder
>”It seems a bit much, for someone like me.”
“No!  No, not at all.  It’s perfect.”
>Rainbow forced herself to look at the ground between Applejack’s feet, tearing her eyes away from her friend’s chest in the process
“You look really good.”
>Applejack smiled
>”Ya don’t gotta flatter me, sugarcube.”
>She took a seat next to Rainbow Dash on the floor, sitting just close enough that their shoulders brushed together
“You know I’m telling the truth.”
>”That I do.”
>For a moment, the two were silent
>Somewhere in the background, a woman was arguing with the storeowner
>When Applejack finally spoke, her voice was strained and breathy from excitement
>”Kinda crazy.  Never reckoned I’d find myself at one of those fancy school dances.”
“Yeah.  I know.”
>That’s why Rainbow had gotten Soarin to take her, after all
>”Yer goin’ too, right?”
“Me?  Nah.  I got better stuff to do.”
>Applejack’s face fell
>”Don’t gimme that.  I know yer gonna spend Friday watchin’ TV in your underwear, like you always do.”
“I do NOT always do that!”
>”Right, right.  Sometimes you don’t even bother with the underwear, I’d reckon.”
“Not true!”
>It most definitely was true
>In fact, Rainbow had already been stocking up on Oreos and corn chips to drown out her sorrows
>”So you should show up!  It’ll be a blast!”
>Rainbow shook her head
“There’s no way I’d find someone who wanted to go with me.”
>”Sure there is!  I mean, maybe it won’t be a girl, like ya… like ya’d probably want.  But I’m sure there’s some nice guys who’d love to take ya!  I can—“
“I’m good.”
>Rainbow didn’t intend for her words to come out as bitter as they sounded
>Applejack fell silent
>”I’m sorry, sugarcube.”
“For what?”
>”I don’t really know.”
>Rainbow shrugged
>The argument at the front of the store had finally settled down, leaving the girls in silence
>”Hey.  After the dance, would it be alright if I stopped by your house?”
“Huh?  I mean, sure.  Why?”
>”I just don’ like the thought of you spending the night alone, that’s all.”
>Rainbow looked back towards the floor, trailing a finger across the grimy tile
“Oh.  Yeah, that’s okay.”
>Applejack nudged her friend
>”Thanks, Rainbow.  I’ll see if I can’t sneak us some cider,” she said with a wink

***

>The night of the Fall Formal, Rainbow was lounging on the couch, wearing only a faded t-shirt and a pair of panties
>Her feet were propped up on the coffee table, where a half-empty package of Oreos lay atop a bowl of that orange, cheesy popcorn and next to an almost empty bottle of Hawaiian Punch
>The TV was playing re-runs of Dragon Ball Z, one of the filler episodes from the Namek arc
>Dash watched it absent-mindedly, not really focused on the show
>A knock at the door stirred her out of her stupor, and she jumped up from the couch to let Applejack in
>In the midst of a freezing-cold autumn night, her friend stood dressed in that same radiant aquamarine dress she’d bought the other day
>With makeup, and her hair coiled into golden ringlets, she was so beautiful that, for a moment, Dash couldn’t speak
“Uh…”
>”Howdy, sugarcube.  Busy night?”
>Rainbow looked down at herself, realizing her shirt was covered in crumbs and orange residue
“Yeah, uh… shit.”
>Next to the gorgeous farmgirl, Rainbow felt grungy and a little bit disgusting
>Applejack just threw her head back, laughing
>”In your underwear watchin’ cartoons!  Dashie, yer just too easy to read sometimes.  I swear, if I ever get to the point where I can’t tell exactly what yer about to do next, I’ll be mighty worried.”
“Har har.  You gonna come in, or do you just want to stand around while I freeze to death.”
>”Reckon you could use some fresh air,” Applejack joked as she stepped inside
>She held a six-pack of ciders under one arm, and they clinked together as she walked
“Where’s Soarin?” Rainbow asked
>”Curfew.  He headed home.”
>Rainbow noticed that Applejack was blushing
“Yeah?”
>The girls sat together on the floor, and Applejack cracked two ciders open with her bare hands
“What’s that look about?”
>”He kissed me goodnight,” Applejack said, raising her hand to her mouth
>Rainbow Dash was pretty sure she could have had a surgical scalpel rammed into her chest, and it’d have hurt less
>Of course, she didn’t show that to her friend; she wouldn’t dare ruin this moment for her, not ever
“That… that’s awesome!”
>She forced herself to smile, giving Applejack a congratulatory punch in the shoulder
>”It was so sweet.  The boy’s just a total fresh-baked cinnamon roll.”
“Glad to hear it.”
>She really, really tried to sound happy for her friend
>But she’d never been much of an actor, and her congratulations came out flat
>Applejack sighed, and took a long drink from her cider
>Rainbow did the same, the alcohol almost immediately making her skinny body buzz
>”He told me, ya know.”
“Told you what?”
>”About what you did.”
“Oh.”
>Rainbow’s voice fell flat
>She couldn’t bring herself to look at Applejack, and ended up examining the multi-colored hairs enmeshed in the carpet instead
>Applejack laid a hand on her friend’s shoulder, still wet and cold from holding the bottle of cider
>”Yer a pretty amazing friend, Rainbow.  I just want ya to know that.”
“Thanks.”
>Applejack sighed
>”But I don’t want ya hurting yourself for me anymore, okay?”
“I’m not hurting myself.”
>”How long have we known each other?  Five, six years?  And yer still tryin’ to lie to me.”
>Rainbow had nothing to say to that
>She let out something between a laugh and a burp
“One of these days, I’ll finally realize I can’t.”
>”I can only hope.  Because, Rainbow, I care about you.  Yer the best friend a girl could ask for.  A lot better than someone like me could ask for.”
“That’s not true!”
>Rainbow hadn’t meant to shout that
“I mean, no.  Don’t talk about yourself like that.  You’re… you’re amazing.”
>Rainbow looked down at her bottle of cider, realizing she’d finished off almost the entire thing already
>Lightweight she was, her head was swimming, and it took conscious effort to avoid spilling her feelings for Applejack all over again
“And yeah, okay.  Maybe it hurt me a little bit.  But it was worth it.”
>Rainbow clunked her bottle down on the coffee table, fixing her eyes on Applejack’s blushing, freckled face
“Anything’s worth it, if I get to see you this happy.”
>To Rainbow Dash’s shock, tears spilled out from her friend’s emerald eyes
>Applejack through her arms around Rainbow, pulling her friend tight against her chest
>”You are… yer just an absolute treasure, Dashie.  And don’t you dare let anyone ever tell you otherwise.  You deserve everything that’s good in th’ world…”
“Heh…”
>Rainbow tried to respond, but Applejack’s hug had squeezed the air out of her lungs
“Good to hear…”
>Applejack broke the hug, holding her friend at arm’s length
>”I really mean that, too.  If there’s ever anything you want, that I can help get for you… anything you want, all you gotta do is ask.”
>She hugged Rainbow again, then wiped her eyes with the hem of her dress
“Hah, well…”
>A quick, desperate thought jumped into Rainbow’s head
“You, um…”
>Now, Rainbow Dash was never one to ignore her impulses, it was one of the few flaws her parents would admit that their daughter had
>But something stopped her, something about the sight of Applejack with her faced streaked in tears of joy, was enough to stop even Rainbow Dash from blurting out what she was thinking
“You could… always get me some more of that cider,” she said, sheepishly
>Applejack laughed
>”You got it!  Much as I can smuggle out without Granny seein’ me, I’ll bring ya.”
>Applejack threw her arm around her friend’s shoulders, hiccuping as she cracked another bottle

>Over the next two years, Rainbow Dash would remember that night
>And more than anything, she’d wish to return to it
>Applejack and Soarin started dating shortly after the Fall Formal
>Of course, Rainbow Dash was not forgotten; Applejack would never do something like that
>But Soarin was almost never far from his new girlfriend, and Dash quickly found herself playing the third wheel
>Their lazy nights in front of the TV now became Soarin and Applejack’s, with Dash as a sort of spectator
>At first, she tried to focus on how happy Applejack was, and to content herself with it
>But as her own loneliness grew, it became harder to see the relationship as anything other than a constant reminder of something she could never have
>Every time she saw Applejack look at Soarin with that heart-melting little smile, she got to remember how she’d never be on the receiving end
>And the few times she’d seen them kiss, well, it was more than she could handle
>So, gradually, the started finding reasons that she couldn’t hang out with the young couple
>Practice was leaving her exhausted, she didn’t feel well, or her mom needed help with fixing that leaky patch on the roof
>Gradually, she saw the farmgirl less, and spent more nights in her underwear, sipping from the Sweet Apple Acres cider until she fell asleep

***

>August heat hung thick and muggy over Ponyville, and the night air felt like a wet cloth over Dash’s mouth as she went for her midnight walk through the city streets
>It had been almost a month since she last spoke to Applejack
>She’d been skipping school, for the most part, and probably would have flunked out if not for her status as star athlete of the track team
>Not that she cared much about track, really, it was just a convenient distraction
>She walked an aimless path through downtown Ponyville, taking shortcuts through alleys between storefronts, until she reached her favorite spot
>Sandwiched between Sugarcube Corner and a pottery shop, there was a small stone fountain, surrounded by chairs and a few wrought-iron picnic tables
>The fountain itself was nothing special, just three concentric dishes for water to trickle down between
>During the day, the chairs would be filled with a few people eating breakfast while they watched the fountain
>But at night, it was secluded and calm, silent except for the whisper of water as it cascaded down into its basin
>Rainbow sat on the fountain’s edge, fidgeting with her phone
>If it had been a normal night, she’d have just scrolled through Facebook until she got bored enough to go home
>Instead, however, her screen lit up with a call from Applejack
>A tingle of anticipation ran down her back as she answered
“Yo.”
>”Hey, sugarcube.  Where are you?”
“Just out for a walk.  Why?”
>”Can we talk?”
“Uh… sure.  I’m at the fountain by Sugarcube Corner.”
>”Gotcha.  Be right over.”

>Ten minutes later, Applejack’s truck pulled up down the road, and the farmgirl stepped out
>Rainbow nodded in her direction, and the farmgirl took a seat next to her on the fountain’s edge
“What’s up?”
>Applejack sighed
>”I heard U of Canterlot’s gonna give you a scholarship.”
“Yeah.  For track.”
>”That’s a mighty big deal.”
>Applejack tapped the heal of her boot against the ground
>”Any reason you didn’t tell me?”
“Oh, well… I was gonna.”
>”Sugarcube, we’re not gonna play this game.  You’ve been ignoring me.  Why?”
“I dunno.  I don’t like third-wheeling.”
>”Well shoot.  Is that how you felt?  You coulda told me something’, and I’ve had made time for you.”
>Rainbow just held her head in her hands
“Yeah, because knowing I’m your second choice would have felt great.”
>”What did ya expect?  I got a boyfriend.  You’re my best friend, but yer not my only… yer not the only important person in my life.”
“Hmm.  Yeah.”
>”What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing.”
>”Yer bein’ mighty difficult about this.”
“What else am I suppose to do?  I can’t just stop feeling the way I do about you.”
>Applejack fell silent for a moment
>”So… that’s what this is all about.”
“Of course it is!  How could you not tell?  I love you!”
>Rainbow whirled on Applejack, blinking back tears
“And I can’t stop!  I tried, I really did!  I wanted to be a good friend, but I… I don’t think I can anymore.  I’m just gonna hurt me.  And I’m gonna hurt you.”
>Applejack closed her eyes for a moment, steadying her breathing
>”All my talk of honesty, and I’ve been lyin’ to myself.  I knew you… I knew how ya felt.  Of course I did.  But I thought that, if we just tried really hard, we’d make it work.”
“That’s what I thought too.”
>Rainbow Dash stood up, but Applejack grabbed her arm, preventing her from walking away
>”Sugarcube, I’m sorry.  I’m sorry I don’t feel the way you’d like.  But please, don’t walk outta my life.”
“Why?  You just said, you’ve got other people.”
>”But I don’t got another best friend!  There’s nobody that gets me the way you do!  Please, Rainbow, I miss ya.  Somethin’ fierce.  I don’t know if I can make things okay, but please don’t go.  I need ya.”
>Rainbow turned back to her friend
“Kiss me.”
>”Huh?”
“Back during Sophomore year, during the Fall Formal.  You said I could ask you for anything.  I never did.”
>”Sugarcube, I…”
“Please.  Just once.  I need to know.”
>Applejack sighed, chewing at her lip
>”If you kiss me, we’re both gonna regret it.”
“I don’t care.  I need to know if you… if you could love me back.”
>Applejack stood up, standing nearly a full foot taller than Rainbow
>Rainbow pulled herself against her friend’s body, feeling puny, yet secure, in the cowgirl’s arms
>Applejack bent her face down, keeping her eyes closed, and puckered her lips
>Even though she had to stand on her tiptoes, Rainbow touched her lips to Applejack’s
>They were warm and strong, with just a bare hint of softness, just like her
>After only a fraction of a second, Applejack pulled away reflexively, looking ashamed
>”I’m sorry, Rainbow.  This… this ain’t me.”
“…I know.”
>Dash wriggled free of her friend’s embrace and staggered backwards towards the street
>”Wait!  Rainbow, please!  Don’t go!  I promise, we’ll make it work!  I need ya!”

>Rainbow didn’t wait
>She ran, her shoes pounding the pavement hard enough to send painful shockwaves up her body as she raced away
>Even after she reached her house, she continued to run, flying down the dirt roads at Ponyville’s edges
>She didn’t stop until the gray light of morning was peaking up over the horizon, and she was too exhausted to continue
>Rainbow collapsed beside the road, her chest heaving
>When she dragged herself home, she slept for nearly thirteen hours, her rest dreamless and not the slightest bit refreshing
>And when she awoke, she wrote to the University of Canterlot to accept their offer
>In just a month, she realized, she’d be gone from this town

***

>The next two years are difficult to describe
>Because, even for Rainbow herself, they were a blur
>The city of Canterlot, and the University life, enveloped the young woman
>And as she gained school-wide stardom for her abilities on the track field, she found herself dragged into wild parties, where anything could be passed into her hands
>She’d discovered a taste for cider from Applejack, but soon found herself strung out on weekend-long benders, pulling herself together only long enough to finish a competitive season
>You could say she “forgot” about Applejack during this time, but it would only be in the same way she “forgot” about everything else around her; the images were clouded and obscured in her mind, sure, but there was more than one night where she left a vomit-drenched basement early, stumbling out into the grass while unexplainable tears rolled down her cheeks

>Eventually, though, even Rainbow Dash could not stomach the chronic binges, or the constant praise
>That’s never something she thought she’d feel, for sure
>But eventually, she’d gotten this weird feeling in the pit of her stomach each time she heard the same tired lines, and saw the same people trying to cozy up to her to bask in a little of her popularity
>She retreated from the Canterlot party scene, spending more nights than not shut up in he room, or down at the local punk clubs, where nobody was around to adulate her
>It wasn’t too bad, for a while
>She started dating for real, falling in with this “ripped jeans and spiked hair” kind of punk, a girl named Gilda with a vicious kind of temper
>Gilda was absolutely crazy, the kind of person that even Dash couldn’t handle
>For a few months, the terror she felt around Gilda was easily confused for an awed sort of love
>But soon, as much like before, the terror began to eat away at her
>Only now, she didn’t know where to run
>So when she saw that Twilight Sparkle, an old friend from Ponyville, would be presenting her research at the university that coming October, Rainbow reached out

>”Dash?  You still in there?”
>Twilight kicked Rainbow under their cafe table, causing her to jolt back upright
“Yeah!  Yeah, sorry.  Zoned out for a sec.”
>Rainbow massaged her temples; her eyes felt bleary and heavy, and it was hard to think through the thick fog in her head
>”You don’t look so good.  Is everything alright?”
>As usual, Twilight wasn’t one to phrase questions elegantly
>Rainbow had always admired that about her, in a way
“Yeah, I’m fine.  Just didn’t get a lot of sleep last night.  Was out late.”
>”…last night was a Tuesday.  Don’t you have classes?”
“Huh?  Oh, yeah.  I guess.”
>”You guess!?”
“I don’t really go to them, usually.”
>”Rainbow!”
>Twilight looked like she’d just been shot
>”You’re attending one of the country’s most prestigious academic institutions!  Skipping classes here is like… like… it’s like passing up a really good thing!”
>Dash leaned her head on her hands, groaning
“I know, I know.  But I’m not failing out, at least.”
>”Hmph.  Probably just because track needs you.  You should really apply yourself more, Dash.”
“Yeah, yeah.  Jeez.  I didn’t know you turned into my mom since we last met.”
>”Clearly you need *someone* to play your mom.  You look like a mess.  And none of us have heard from you since you left Ponyville!  How am I not supposed to worry about you?”
>Rainbow shrugged
>”You really should talk to some of them.  Rarity and Fluttershy still tells stories about you, you know.  And Applejack, well…”
>A cold sweat broke out on the back of Rainbow’s neck
“What about Applejack?”
>Twilight shook her head
>”Never mind.  Clearly she’s not that important to you, or you’d have tried to contact her.”
“She is important to me!”
>Half the cafe turned to glance in their direction
>Dash slumped lower in her seat, glaring at Twilight
“She *is* important to me.  I just… never mind.”
>”Well, you should really talk to her.”
“Don’t tell me what to do.”
>Twilight shrugged
>”I just want to help you.”
“Yeah, yeah, you always know best.  Perfect Princess Twi, best friend to anyone and everyone.”
>Dash was being meaner than necessary, but she couldn’t help it
>It’d been a long time since she’d allowed herself to think about Applejack, for good reasons
>Twilight recoiled, looking hurt
>”I didn’t mean… I just want to make sure you’re okay, Rainbow.”
>She reached out to take Dash’s hand, but Dash smacked her away
>In the process, the sleeve of her sweater rolled back, revealing dark plum-colored bruises along her forearm
>Twilight stared at the marks, her face going pale
>”Rainbow?”
“Nothing!  It’s nothing!”
>Rainbow tugged the sleeve back up, hiding the bruises
>”Those aren’t from that girl you’re dating… right?”
“Of course not!  I mean, they are, but… we’re rough with each other.  That’s what I like!”
>Twilight just stared, unsure of what to say
>”Rainbow… keep in touch, please.  If you need one of us, or anyone, we’ll be there for you.”
“Yeah.”
>Twilight sighed, and stood up from the table
>”I should probably get going.  Need to give a summary speech on my thesis.  If you’re still around later, we could meet up again.  If you’d like.”
“Maybe.”
>Rainbow kept her eyes on the ground as Twilight walked towards the door
>But as her friend was about to leave, she called out after her
“Wait!  Twilight, where’s Applejack?”
>”What do you mean?  She’s still in Ponyville.”
“Is any of our group there with her?”
>”Well… no, I don’t think so.  Rarity moved to Manehattan back in January, so no.  I don’t think anyone is.”
“Oh.  Thanks.”
>Rainbow stood up, crossing between the wooden tables and wrapping Twilight in a rough hug
>”That was a big change in attitude.”
“Nah.  I know what I need to do.”
>”What’s that?”
“I’m going to give this one last shot,” Rainbow said, hunching against the whipping fall wind as she stepped out into the street

***

>She rolled the windows down as soon as she merged onto the Canterlot Expressway, hurtling away from the massive clump of city lights and towards the rolling countryside that surrounded Ponyville
>The wind tore at her hair and stung her face, but Dash leaned her head back, relishing the feeling
>She didn’t really care what happened from here on out, she realized
>All she wanted was one last night with Applejack
>Wherever she ended up next, she didn’t care
>She just needed to see her friend again, to make sure that, even if Dash herself was miserable, Applejack was still happy…
>And if she was, then Dash really didn’t care what life threw at her
>As long as she knew Applejack was okay, that would be enough

>The sun had long since sunk behind the lines of treebranches by the time Rainbow rolled into Ponyville
>Each boxy little building of downtown Ponyville, with its peeling wooden siding and their windows shining with yellow-orange light, seemed to drip with a tangy, sweet nostalgia as Rainbow drove past
>At the edges of downtown, she pulled onto the familiar dirt road, her car jostling slightly as she headed towards Sweet Apple Acres
>The apple trees had changed little since she’d last seen them; many were larger, or wilted, but all still stood tall and hardy in the night, draped in the browns and oranges of fall leaves
>Rainbow pulled onto the winding path that led to the homestead, and wound down the same road she’d once flown across on a bike
>Up ahead, she spied a figure walking in the street, a bucket overflowing with apples in their arms
>Even in the dark, it was hard to miss the figure’s glowing blonde hair, tied up in a poofy ponytail, and the familiar battered stetson
>Rainbow froze, and her vehicle slowed to a halt
>What would Applejack say to her?
>They hadn’t parted on the best of terms, after all
>Fear began to coil in Rainbow’s gut as Applejack turned, shielding her face with her hands
>”Yer on the wrong road, stranger!  Town’s that way!”
>Rainbow flicked the headlights off, and forced herself to step out of the car before she could lose her nerve
>Applejack recognized her immediately 
>”Rainbow?”
“Uh…”
>Dash awkwardly scratched at the back of her head, giving her friend an apologetic smile
“Hey.”
>”Rainbow!  It’s really you!”
>Applejack dropped the carton of apples and threw herself at the other girl, tackling Rainbow to the ground and landing on top of her
>But instead of the punch that Rainbow was expecting, and that she probably deserved, Applejack wrapped her in a bone-crushing hug
>”I can’t believe it!  Ya came back!”
“Yeah… sure did… ow…”
>Applejack released the hug, realizing she was crushing the other girl
>”Oops!  Heh, sorry about that.  It’s just so good t’ see ya!  Was startin’ to think I never would!”
>She held out her hand and helped Rainbow Dash to her feet
>Dash stood slowly, still feeling somewhat sheepish
>She’d expected a lot more… anger, from her friend
“Yeah, well… here I am, I guess.”
>Applejack laughed
>”Look at you, standin’ around like a plump turkey!  C’mon inside!  I’ll whip us up somethin’ to eat!”

>Dash parked outside of Applejack’s house which, like everything else about Ponyville, seemed not to have changed at all
>The farmgirl led her inside, even going so far as to loop her arm through Rainbow Dash’s as they walked, as if half-afraid the other girl would vanish on her again
>Inside, the house was dark and unusually silent, though Applejack quickly busied herself flicking lights on, flooding the place with light
>Rainbow stepped in, somewhat apprehensive
>This was the first thing that seemed different, so far
“Where’s everyone?”
>”Whaddaya mean?”
“Big Mac and Applebloom.”
>”Ah.  Mac got hitched.  Moved out to some town I can never remember the name of.  He’s with a real sweet gal, though.  Applebloom’s still around.  She’s with her friends, though, most of the time.”
“Ah.”
>Rainbow stepped into the dining room, a long green-wallpapered space crammed with a banquet table and whose walls were blanketed in framed photos of the entire Apple family
>As she admired them, though, she froze when she came across a picture of Applejack wrapped in that same blue dress from years ago, proudly displaying a ring on her finger and standing besides…
“Is that Soarin?”
>”Huh?  Oh, yeah, you didn’t know?  We’re gonna get hitched!”
“What?”
>Dash’s voice came out harsh, and shocked
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
>”Because you walked outta my life, sugarcube,” Applejack said matter-of-factly as she busied about the kitchen, a bowl full of dough under one arm.  “I reckoned I’d never see ya again.”
“Well, yeah, but…”
>Rainbow stared at the picture
>That same dress…
>Applejack looked so gorgeous in it, so radiant
>A pang struck Rainbow in the chest
>Applejack stepped up next to her
“Yer not still feelin’ sore about all that stuff between us… are ya?”
“Huh?  No!  No, not at all.  Totally past it.  I’m actually dating someone now, up in Canterlot!”
>Applejack turned away, focusing kneading the dough
>”That’s… that’s real good to hear!  What’s she like?”
“She’s good!  Yeah, she’s… she’s really good.”
>Rainbow reflexively tugged at the sleeve of her jacket, making sure the bruises were covered
>”I’m glad to hear that, sugarcube,” Applejack said
>A silence fell over the kitchen
>Rainbow continued walking circuits through the house, admiring the little features she remembered: doors on creaky hinges, floorboards that groaned when you stepped wrong, the scorch marks near one of the windows from a Fourth of July gone terribly wrong…
>It was all still there
>She paused in her pacing and looked over her shoulder, where she saw Applejack watching her
>The farmgirl quickly looked away, pretending to study the spices she was measuring
“Where’s Soarin?”
>”Oh, he’s… he’s out.  Fella’s a real big-shot now, ya know.  Became a promoter for this select team.”
“Oh.  That’s pretty cool.”
>”It is!  He’s real good at it, too.  Just means I’m here alone a fair bit…”
>Applejack shrugged
>”But no, it’s good!  I’m real proud of him.”
>She finished slapping the pie together, and shoved it into the oven
>Rainbow Dash took a seat at the table, resting her elbows on the familiar, rough-grained wood
>She could hear the thud of Applejack’s boots on the floorboard behind her, and a moment later the farmgirl took a seat at the table across from her
>Applejack’s face was difficult to read; it seemed almost as if she were avoiding looking at Rainbow, but every time her eyes landed on her, they would linger, as if still not quite believing she was really here
>Silence stretched between the two friends
>The conversation that used to come so easily to them now felt stilted and dead
>In a way, Rainbow felt as if this wasn’t even the Applejack she used to know
>She seemed so… muted, compared to the feisty farmgirl that Rainbow had fallen in love with
>”So?”
“Hmm?”
>”What’s on your mind, sugarcube?”
>Applejack cracked a small smile
>”You’re jus’ as easy to read as you ever were.  I can tell something’s botherin’ ya.”
“It’s nothing,” Rainbow said, trying to smile.  “How’s life down here been?”
>”Ah, you know, the usual.  Dead quiet, most of the time, what with you and all the others moved out.”
“Yeah…”
>Applejack heard the sadness in Rainbow’s voice
>”Aw, don’t you go worrying about me.  I got the farm!  Ol’ family homestead.  All I could ever want.”
“Right!  Yeah, no.  Seems like a real cozy place.”
>”It is!”
>Rainbow wasn’t even sure what she meant by that
>Outside, the autumn winds began to pick up in intensity, rattling some of the loose boards on the house’s siding
>The resulting sound was ghostlike and eerie, filling the uncomfortable gap between the two friends
>”I mean, I sure miss having people to share it with, I guess.  If I’m bein’ honest.”
“I can imagine.  It seems different without… well, without everyone.”
>Applejack nods
>”But it’ll get better!  When Soarin decides to settle down an’ move back in, I’m sure it’ll get a whole lot better!  We can have some kids, an’ maybe some more of our friends will move back!  It’s just gonna be lonely for a little while.  But hey, I’m a tough girl.  I can handle being a little lonesome.”
“Of course.”
>Rainbow had never had Applejack’s keen truth-instinct, but even she could tell that the farmgirl wasn’t being totally honest with either Rainbow, or herself
>A soft *ding* from the kitchen interrupted their conversation
>”Ah!  Hol’ on a second, I’m just gonna check on th’ pie.”
>Applejack bustled out of the room
>Rainbow watched her go, and she noticed that her friend had been so excited to see her that she hadn’t even bothered to change out of her dirty work clothes
>While Applejack fussed over dinner, Rainbow rocked her chair backwards, balancing it on the rear two legs
>Which was a pretty stupid idea, it turned out
>She tipped backwards with a yelp, crashing into a wooden set of drawers behind her
>Her tiny body slammed into it, knocking the top drawer open and sending a few loose papers spilling down into Rainbow’s lap
>She looked down, dazed, at the snippets of paper as Applejack came running into the room
>”Y’all okay?  I always told you not to tip those!”
“Yeah, yeah… ow…”
>Rainbow rubbed the back of her head as she sat up
>In her lap were several pictures of her, clipped from Ponyville’s and Canterlot’s newspapers, as well as the University of Canterlot’s own newsletter, along with accompanying articles
>Each was about a different race she’d competed in, usually congratulating her for an excellent performance
>Rainbow looked at the pile of clippings; from a quick glance, she could see that they stretched over the past two years
>Applejack’s face was red
>”I… I liked to keep up with your goings-on.  Made it feel a bit like you were still here.”
“AJ, I’m… I’m so sorry.”
>Applejack shook her head
>”You got nothin’ to apologize for, sugarcube.  I understand how ya felt.”
>She reached down and helped Rainbow to her feet
>”I don’t know what I woulda done in the same situation.  But it’s all okay!  Yer back now!”
>As Applejack helped Rainbow stand, though, the sleeve of Rainbow’s sweatshirt fell backwards, revealing the bruises along her arm
>Applejack went pale, then her eyes narrowed
>”Who did that to ya?”
“It’s nothing.  Just an accident.”
>”That don’t look one bit accidental, Rainbow.”
“It’s not a big deal.  Me and Gilda are just kinda rough sometimes.”
>”This that new girl yer with?”
“Yeah…”
>Applejack grabbed Rainbow by the shoulder, making her sit
>”You tell me everything I should know.  Mostly whose ass I need to kick.”
“It’s not like that.  I’m fine, really.”
>”Rainbow, yer not fine.  I can see that plain as day.  You didn’t just up and come to see me outta the blue because you’re fine.”
>Applejack sighed, hanging her head
>She pulled up a chair and took a seat next to Rainbow, grabbing her friend’s hand
>Strong, rough fingers closed around Rainbow Dash’s palm and, for the first time since she’d left Ponyville, she felt safe
>”Listen.  I… I don’t think we’ve been honest with each other here.”
“We haven’t.  I haven’t.”
>”So why don’t we start from the beginnin’.  An’ whatever I can do to help ya, I will.  I promise.”
>Rainbow gulped, hanging her head

>And she told Applejack everything
>The drugs, the drinking, the parties, Gilda, entrapment, fear, isolation, everything
>And Applejack listened, not once interrupting 
>But every time she heard a mention of even the slightest harm coming to Rainbow, her hand tightened slightly around her friend’s

“And that… I guess that’s it.  I needed to see you again.  You’re the only person I’ve ever felt right around, and I… I need that.”
>Applejack reached over and brushed Rainbow’s hair out of her eyes
>”I’m so sorry, sugarcube.”
“You don’t need to—“
>”No, I do.  I drove you away.  I didn’t mean to.  But I let this happen.  I let you fall into all that.”
“There was nothing you could have done.  I couldn’t handle…”
>Rainbow sighed
“I couldn’t handle the way I feel about you.”
>”Do you still got feelings like that?” Applejack asked, her voice level
“I do.  As much as I ever did.”
>Applejack sighed
“I guess I shouldn’t ask if you’ve had some change of heart?”
>”I haven’t, Rainbow.  An’ I’m sorry.”
>Applejack gave a rueful laugh, her hands trembling slightly
>”There were plenty of nights I wished I did, y’know?  I missed you so bad. I tried to force myself to… to love you back.  I had pictures of you under my bed.  And I’d look at ‘em an’ try to imagine, y’know… us kissing.  Or gettin’ hitched.  Goin’ on dates.  An’ it wasn’t bad, but it… it wasn’t me.  I couldn’t make it me.”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
>”I can’t explain it properly.  But it… it wouldn’t have been real love.  Yer my best friend.  I couldn’t give ya a fake relationship.”
“But why would it be fake?  Don’t you like being around me?  Don’t I make you happy?”
>Rainbow could feel tears burning in her eyes
>”Ya do!  More than anyone—“
“Then how’s that not love?”
>Her voice had dropped almost to a whisper
>”It is, but it’s… it’s a different kind.”
“You’re saying you can love Soarin that way, but not me?”
>”I suppose I am.”
“Right.”
>Rainbow sighed, looking away from Applejack
“I don’t understand.  After everything… why can’t you love me?”
>”It’s just not who I am, sugarcube.  I can’t explain it any differently than that.”
“Yeah… I think I should go.”
>Rainbow tried to stand, but Applejack pulled her back
>”Go?  But you just got here?”
“This was a bad idea.  Being around you hurts, AJ.”
>Applejack winced, as if slapped
>”I… I know it does.  But please, don’t leave me again.  I can’t take that again, Rainbow.  Not after I just got you back.”
>Rainbow yanked her hand out of Applejack’s grip
“What do you want from me?” she asked, her voice starting to rise.  “You need me, but you can’t love me?  What am I supposed to do?”
>”I don’t know!” Applejack said, holding her head in her hands.  “I don’t know.  I just wanna make this work, sugarcube.  I just want my best friend back.”
“You only want part of me back.”
>”Not true.  I want all of ya, I just…”
“You just want part of me to stay a secret.  I can’t live like that, Applejack.  Seeing you and Soarin start a family, while I’m…”
>Rainbow choked, suddenly unable to stop the tears from welling up in her eyes
“You get a happy family, and I’m with someone like Gilda… I can’t do that.  It’ll kill me.”
>”It don’t gotta be like that, Rainbow!  You can move back here.  With me.  It won’t be perfect, but you’ll have friends, and we can…”
“We can what?”
>”Spend time together.  Explore.  Sit around and eat snacks in our PJ’s.  Anything!”
“Sure.  And then when I leave, you’ll go back to your husband.  Your family.  Your life.”
>”Yer a part of my life!”
“Yeah, a part.  And that’s it.  You’re all I’ve got.  You’re gonna go on being happy with or without me.  But without you…”
>”You think I’m happy without you?” Applejack said, tears spilling over her freckled cheeks.  “Look around me, Rainbow!  I’m alone!  My fiancé’s never around!  I got no friends here anymore.  I just work and wait!  I’m miserable without you!”
>Desperate, Applejack jumped up from the table and grabbed Rainbow by the arm, pulling her into a rough embrace
>”Please.  Please, please, please, Rainbow.  Don’t walk out that door.  Don’t leave me alone.  Please.”
>Rainbow buried her face against Applejack’s chest, inhaling the scent of sweat, earth, and cinnamon
“Kiss me.”
>”Rainbow…”
“I know.  It’ll be a lie.  But the truth is making us miserable, AJ.  So maybe… just for a little while…”
>Rainbow lifted her head
“Could you lie to me?”
>Applejack froze
>”It wouldn’t last.  I can’t lie to ya forever.”
“I know.  I just want to feel loved.  By you.  Maybe for just a night, I don’t care.  And maybe… maybe it’ll become real.”
>Applejack sighed
>”This is wrong.”
“I don’t care.”
>Applejack closed her eyes
>Rainbow wiped the tears away from her friend’s face, and cupped Applejack’s cheek as she brought their mouths together
>The kiss was wet and trembling, but Dash’s body flooded with warmth at Applejack’s touch
>The farmgirl didn’t pull away, but her body was rigid in Rainbow’s arms
>When they broke apart, she was staring at Rainbow with glassy eyes
“Was that real?”
>”I dunno.”
>Rainbow reached down and grabbed ahold of Applejack’s hands
“Then… pretend it was.  As long as you can.”
>”And then what?”
“I don’t know.”
>Applejack pulled Rainbow against her chest again
>”If this is what it takes…”
>She sniffled
>”I’m so glad to have you back, sugarcube.”
“So am I…”

>The two carried the pie back to Crane’s Creek, which coursed as quick and cold as it had in their youth
>They ate together in silence, dangling their bare feet in the freezing water
>Hours passed, and the two cuddled up together against the cold, just as they had so many years ago
>Only this time, there were no more afternoons of innocent exploration before them, only a lingering twilight, a few more promised days of desperate lies
>Dash hoped that, when they finally woke from the delusion, she wouldn’t scream

>The pale gray of twilight was just beginning to filter through the tops of the trees when Rainbow took Applejack’s hand and the two girls’ fingers locked together
>She pulled her friend to her feet, dragging her back towards the road
“Let’s leave Ponyville,” she said past chattering teeth
>”Rainbow, you know I can’t do that.”
“Why not?  There’s nothing here for you anymore.  Just an empty house.”
>”But Applebloom… and Soarin…”
“Applebloom cant take care of herself.  And Soarin… he’s not here.  He’s never gonna settle here.  You know that.”
>Applejack hung her head
>”I… I know.”
“Come with me.  We can get away from all of this!  Start a new life, just for us,” Rainbow said, knowing full well she was lying
>But the lie could only brighten the delusion her and Applejack held
>Applejack looked up at Rainbow, and Rainbow could see in her friend’s eyes that she was just as aware as she was that this whole facade would come crashing down eventually 
>Maybe in the morning, maybe in a few days, maybe months, or maybe even years
>But the end was rushing towards them, and Dash saw no reason to run from it

>The two girls piled into Dash’s car, their hands still clasped tightly above the gearshift
>As Rainbow pulled out onto the highway, the orange-gold sun began to peak up over the horizon, its light seeming to congeal and drip from the roofs of the tiny, quaint houses on the outskirts of Ponyville
>Neither Applejack or Rainbow said a word; there was no need to
>Rainbow rolled the windows down, letting the freezing wind whip across their faces, tearing at both girls’ faces
>It stank of industry and smoke, the end-result of factories that lurked like parasites around Ponyville’s borders
>Somewhere, on time’s distant but all-too-near horizon, they could both see the end hurtling up
>Dash could see it in the way Applejack kept glancing over her shoulder, in the way the farmgirl’s strong trembled in her grasp
>And she had tasted it in Applejack’s kiss
>The lie would unravel, and there would be no escaping it
>And if that were the case, then Rainbow saw no reason not to meet it head on, with the sun and wind streaming through the windows, all while clasping the hand of the woman she loved
>Dash’s foot pressed down on the gas, and her body grew heavy as the car accelerated, driving the wind into a frenzy
>Theirs would be a glorious, terrible end, Dash thought to herself
>And they would sink into it together
>Because even an imitation of love was better than nothing at all

Ending song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FnLol5gJWj4