These are just One-Shots that i picked up from /sun/, don't expect consistency.

--------------------

Be Anon.
You've been locked in a large but plain room somewhere in that crazy ass willy wonka mountain castle thing. There are no windows. There is nothing in the room except a large square of padded carpet, and a very heavy looking wooden door.

The door opens, and in walks sunhorse looking like she's been caught stealing cookies.
>I'm truly sorry Anon, but I must do this.
>If you are to stay here I need to know you won't hurt my little ponies if anything happens.
What the hell is she talking about?
"Princess...?"
>I am going to do.... something Anonymous. And your reaction will tell me what I need to know.
What the actual jesusniggering christ is going on?
"I don't understand."
>*sigh* You will....

Celestia shuts the door behind her and seals it with sparkly magic, then walks to within arms reach and stops. She closes her eyes.
>I'm sorry, but I must know....
Her eyes open and they are bright white. They are painful to look at, but you can't seem to look away.
Her voice has also changed. It sounds not deeper, but fuller somehow. And louder, much louder.
>YOU HAVE TRANSGRESSED, AND YOU SHALL PAY.
"What?"
Celestia's wings spread open and she steps forward slowly.
>THE FOUL CRIMES YOU HAVE PERPETRATED HAVE BEEN REVEALED AND YOUR LIFE IS NOW FOREFIT.
"What?"
The air around her begins to shimmer with heat haze and her wings have started to look more like flames than feathers.
>YOUR SENTENCE SHALL BE CARRIED OUT IMMEDIATELY.
"WHAT?"
Okay this is getting.... Well pretty fucked up to be honest.
What do you do? What do you do?
>YOU WILL BE TELEPORTED INTO THE VOID ABOVE.
*audible sweating*
"P-Princess.... Why ar.."
>AND LEFT TO EXPIRE.
Fuck. All the fuck in fact. You only just got here and it turns out the local god is a murderhappy loon.
An attractive one though.
Welp. Fuck it. Might as well go out in style.
>WHAT HAVE YOU TO SAY?

"Princess, I am going to distract you."
She gives you a look you can't quite place, but you don't give her the time to dwell on it as you pace forward and wrap your arms as far around her neck as you can and push your mouth onto hers.
The heat she is giving off warms your exposed skin to an almost uncomfortable degree, but you persist and begin to gently kiss her lips as you await your new oxygen free existence.
Nothing happens.
You're still alive, and you're still kissing the princess.
Then the impossible happens. She starts to push back.
>Mmmmmmmmmmmhhhh
Wut?
You have no idea what is going on, but it's a hell of a lot better than what was just happening.
Invigorated by your lack of death you push back harder and start to stroke Celestia's neck, which prompts her to suprise you by invading your mouth with her tongue.
Damn. It's so warm and silky. You can't help but meet it with your own.
>MMMMMMMHHHHhhhhhh
You lose all track of time as you and Celestia become lost in your world of sensation.

Be Royal Guard at door
"How long has she been in there with the creature now you reckon?"
"Couple of hours maybe, I dunno it's hard to keep track down here."
"Wonder what she's doing to it..."
"Yeah."
>YES! YES! YEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
You share a wide eyed stare with your fellow guard.
"I don't think we need to wonder any more."
"I don't think I want to imagine what I'm imagining right now."

Be Anon
Well that turned out a lot more fun and substantially less murderous than you anticipated.
You are being spooned by a sweaty sunhorse.
"Celestia, what was all this about? Not that I'm complaining or anything."
She looks down at you with those huge pink eyes.
>Congratulations Anonymous, you passed.
>I honestly didn't expect what did, but I'm rather glad you did it. It was most enjoyable.
>You are not a threat to my ponies.
She smirks whimsically.
>Their chastity on the other hoof....

--------------------

>Celestia stretched as she made her way to her balcony, simply enjoying a small moments break away from the desk and the paperwork she and to sort through
>Celestia gave a contented sigh as she strode onto the balcony
>The view, as to be expected, was wonderful
>From there not only could she look down upon Canterlot, the beautiful castle gardens, but the entirety of Eq-
>Wait...
>Down in the gardens Celestia spotted Anon, who seemed to driving some posts into the ground
>He also had a few guards with him
>Celestia immediately scrunched her muzzle in aggravation
>'How many times have I told him to leave the guards alone?', she thought
>Celestia had made her way to the gardens
>She now now close enough the make out what what he was saying and also what he built
>It was four short posts in a square with ropes connecting them
>"Okay, you are going to be called 'Macho Pony Sentry Savage', got it?"
>Celestia turned her attention to Anon, and the four guards he had got into this
>"Anon!" she called to him, forcefully
>The entire group turned to look at their Princess as she approached
>Now she could make out details
>The stallion Anon was talking to had a red do-rag on his head with 'MADNESS' scrawled on the front of it with a black magic marker, while another had white and black facepaint on
>Apparently he hadn't gotten to the other two
>"Oh God, here she comes.", she barely hears him say
>Celestia stops in front of Anon with nothing but a scowl
>"So... Whatcha doin' Celly Welly?"
>"Anon, don't act innocent with me. How many times have I told you to not bother the guards from their duty? They are not playthings!"
>"B-but they don't mind!"
>"Anon!"
>Her commanding voice seemed to shut him up
>"Now apologize to these guards for bothering them."
>"But-"
>"No 'but's, Anon."
>He sighs and looks a the ground in defeat and mumbles out a "I'm sorry for bothering you, or whatever."
>"Good, now guards, clean up and return to your posts."
>Celestia watched as the stallions left to carry out their orders
>Leaving only a disgruntled Anon and Flash Sentry, whom still had on the do-rag
>Anon threw up his arms and exclaimed "Well *sorry* for trying to make some quality entertainment!"
>Before marching of angrily
>"Come on Flash, let's go try and find someone else to play wrestling with!"
>Flash just smiled at you sheepishly before running after him
>With that over Celestia just shook her head after him
>Flash Sentry
>She had appointed him as Anon's personal guard but sometimes she felt like he treated him more like a little brother, or toy.
>And so Celestia watched as Anon went elsewhere to entertain himself before turning to go back to her work

----------------------------
>I'm sure if you described meatloaf as "gryphon cake" she'd be all ears.

>day one hour at 400 degrees in Equestria
>be Celestia
>surfing 4chan from the secret computer that's hidden under the throne
>looking through /mlp/ to see if there's any new smut about you
>humans are weird looking monkey-minotaur-diamond dog looking things
>but it's flattering
>yeah, flattering, you tell yourself
>as you read another of their sexual fantasies about you and your big jiggly marshmallow ass
>and mop the sweat off your brow
>well, that's enough of that for today
>don't want to get too worked up
>maybe look at /ck/
>"gryphon cake?"
>well, that's different
>hmm, frosted with ketchup? is this some savory dish?
>wait a minute, ground beef?
>what's "beef?"
>slide out the dictionary
>oh
>oh shit
>maybe griffins would like this but it makes you queasy
>humans are carnivores
>predators
>beasts of prey, in fact
>you're sweating again
>they want to just eat you up
>...okay, you can't stop yourself now, back to the clopfic
>oh well

---------------------------
>"But there are things I feel are taboo to fantasize about"
>"Like what, my young friend?"
>"Simple put: love. But not any love. The kind of love that's forbidden."
>"And what kind of love do you think is forbidden?"
I had to think for a bit, to word my answer well. I was a regular person in a new land. I was not used to being treated so differently, so royally. I was just a normal human being, but a princess was giving me time and attention, and it seemed so genuine. I was young and I knew I was naive, but I still liked it. But not because she was royal, but because she was so important, yet she still dedicated time to me.
>"Well, there is a mare I've come to appreciate since I've been here. I don't know how to approach her though. I don't even really want to."
>"You don't? Well, are you sure your feelings are genuine?"
She stared into my eyes, more seriously than I had wanted.
"I am not meaning to insult your feelings, darling," she continued, "but if you feel an intimate connection to one, I believe you must be able to approach her about it. Whether or not the fear of rejection exists."
>"But sometimes, wouldn't you think it's best just to wait, and keep fantasizing? I mean.... Visualizing things usually helps the outcome. And I definitely need help for this."
Celestia looked at me in her usual thoughtful way. I'd really come to appreciate that look. Today, it was especially helpful; although, it hindered me just as much. I needed to determine a way to tell her my feelings. But how the hell was I supposed to? She was infatuated with me, no doubt, but I was just a man--just her guest. 

And she was a half god. 

How the fuck was I meant to quell these feelings?
---------------------------
>you will never dampen a rag in isopropyl alcohol and hold it over Celly's mouth
>she will never pretend to struggle and pass out in about 3 seconds
>you will never fuck her roughly as your pretend unconscious rape slave
>you'll never leave to go get some water and cake and come back to celestia looking like >pic related
>you'll never bask in the afterglow and rehydrate in her sweat-soaked bed
>you will never plan your next violent, rough escapade with her
>you'll never decide to switch things up, and end up on the receiving end of her manhandling next time

Feels fucking bad man. 

1/2
>day wot in Equestria
>hanging out with your waifu, Princess Celestia
>won't go into how this situation developed because reasons
>she's superhuman
>hmm. maybe "superequine" is a better word
>you love her to bits
>not literally of course
>she loves you too
>but she's an indestructible magical superhorse and while that comes in handy when the monster of the week attacks, there's a downside
>she's kinky
>wants you to spank her
>can't feel it unless you use a spiked morningstar mace and swing it like you're trying to chop down a tree
>she has a fantasy that you get her drunk and seduce her
>but she can't get drunk, her supergoddess metabolism breaks down any alcohol she drinks almost instantly
>you suppose there is stronger stuff but you feel too awkward to ask the Royal Physician to join in your games
>she's never needed surgery, fortunately
>she tells you that years ago she consented to be experimented on to learn her limits and what would and would not work, in case of emergency
>you cringe at this
>she laughs and tells you that they gave her enough tranquilizers to turn an elephant toes-up and it had no effect
>she asked them to give her more but they got to the level that would kill an elephant, then a dragon, with still no effect, and "chickened out"
>her words
>she says she's fortunate she's never needed any kind of dental work
>they tried laughing gas on her, it worked about as well as anything else, which is to say, she's apparently immune to it
>she can fly in space and doesn't actually have to breathe, she tells you
>though she says she complied with their instructions, she says ether and chloroform likewise didn't do anything to her
>other than irritate her sinuses and make her smell like a chemical plant the rest of the day
>went in magical disguise to the industrial district, met with some bohemian types
>got invited to a party, smoked Zebrican hashish with them all night
>they were all knocked on their asses and half-paralyzed, she said

2/2
>and she was kind of envious, she said they looked like it was a good time before they all got couch-locked
>walked home red-eyed but stone cold sober
>went into the Everfree Forest to meet an ancient wise shaman pony
>ate "holy mushrooms" with him that were supposed to bring mysterious visions
>he was twitching and convulsing on the ground with his pupils different sizes
>she thought they were kind of bland but might have been better fried with onions
>"I guess I'm just too super," she said
>"Sometimes I regret it, until another monster comes to town."
>she points out into Canterlot, shows you the construction going on in the business district
>some kind of enormous dinosaur thing came out of a lake and was raising hell two days ago
>destroyed a couple of blocks
>tried to eat her
>she one-shotted it, then, because she felt sorry for the poor dumb animal, teleported it back to the lake it came from
>"Twilight isn't the only one who faces monsters every week."
>you had wondered about that
>"Oh, and I have good news and bad news."
>"The good news is that I'm going to be in estrus for the next four or five days."
>"The bad news is that this time I think you may have to attach a sex toy to a jackhammer before I can even feel it."
>you love your waifu
>this is going to be hell on your lower back, but you will do it for her
>"I still wish we could work out a way you could sort of pretend to kidnap me and I could be a damsel in distress, like a normal mare."
>you tied her up a few months ago with rope
>after you finished fucking her she just stripped it all off with a shrug of a wing, snapping it all like thread
>but you love your waifu
>your super indestructible waifu
>and you don't feel intimidated at all
>nope, not a bit, you tell yourself
>at least she gives good head
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

>You stare for a second. "You know, you COULD just use the front door, Sunny," you say. 
>She's rubbing her back on your bed. "What would be the fun in that?" she says. "I thought you liked surprises."
>She's been popping in on a regular basis since you first came here, at first for the purposes of making sure you were settling in, and then because. you're apparently one of the only beings she feels comfortable completely letting her mane down around, so to speak.
>Possibly because you're one of the only creatures in Equestria that don't regard her as either a goddess incarnate or a mother-figure. 
>You've also become an unofficial sounding board for her, from time to time. Twilight was a bit miffed that she actually sought advice from you on dealing with the Yaks before her.
>After all, assholes know their own. And it's fun to tick off Sperghorse. She needs it.
>She's rolling around lazily on your bed like a cat, scratching her back on it. You sigh a bit--your bed is going to smell like vanilla and hibiscus for days and she usually leaves a bit of loose fur on the comforter. 
>She looks up at you and blinks coquettishly. 
>You cant' stay irritated at her for long, she's too damned adorable. You chuckle. "Well, I was planning to spend the night watching hoofball on the tube and getting shitfaced drunk," you say. 
>"Mmm, sounds lovely," she says. 
>"But, I think I can make room for two. Pizza okay?"
>"Veggies, pineapple, and extra jalapenos please and thank you."
>"Very good." 
>Tonight, it's you, a couple of six packs and Brolestia.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

>"Anonymous?"
>You replied back a quiet, "hmm?", too busy picking loose feathers out of her wing to really pay too much attention.
>"Lets say I did something bad-"
"Celly, I'm sure the chefs will forgive you if you touched their chocolate stocks, you are the Princess after all."
>"No, I mean, really bad-"
"What could you have possibly done, run through a field of wheat?"
"Anonymous, please let me finish!"
>You shut your mouth, letting the princess speak.
>"If I did something really bad, would you forgive me?"
>You freeze in place, letting her pull her wing back in, wondering what the implications of her question are.
"Well, that depends, how does this affect me?"
>"Well-"
>Just then, the door burst open, a few guards entering.
>"Your highness, the Saddle Arabian guards are here to take Anonymous."
>You calmly turn your head to Celestia.
"You have 10 seconds to explain what the fuck jarhead over here is saying."
>She began to half mumble/half stutter as a contingent of Saddle Arabian guards trotted in with a set of chains and manacles.
>"The Duchess of Saddle Arabia wanted to know more about you, to study you. I tried giving her the information Twilight had provided me, but she wanted to do it herself! She said something about wanting to study 'his ivory tower,' I didn't know you were an architect and builder, but I didn't think too much about it. I was thinking about chocolate."
"So you're just letting her take me? And why the fuck were you thinking about chocolate?"
>"No, we made a trade deal. The Saddle Arabian government is providing us with 200 pounds of the finest Saddle Arabian chocolate per month for the next six months! Think about how much that is!"
>The manacles were put on your wrists and ankles as the chains were wrapped around you.
"YOU TRADED ME FOR CHOCOLATE?"
>"1200 pounds of chocolate Anon! That's enough to take care of the chocolate fountain for 18 months!"
"YOU TRADED."
"ME."
"FOR CHOCOLATE."
>"Oh Anon I think you're making this a bigger deal than it is. It's only for two months."
"TWO MONTHS?"
>"For 6 months of chocolate. Really Anon this is a great deal, I can't see why you're upset."
>The Saddle Arabian guards hoisted you on their backs.
"Gee Celestia, you're right. I'm sorry, I can't wait to try some of it with you."
>"See, now you're getting it."
"OH WAIT, I CAN'T BECAUSE I'LL BE IN FUCKING SADDLE ARABIA BEING PASSED AROUND AS PART OF SOME WEIRD HORSE RAPE HAREM FOR TWO MONTHS."
>The Duchess of Saddle Arabia trotted into the room, pausing next to you, giving you a lustful look.
>"Oh my, I can't wait for my little monkey to show me what he's made of."
"Go fuck yourself you pink spindly weird not-pony thing."
>"Oh, I have been. The male suitors haven't been doing anything for me. Hopefully you'll change that."
>She trotted up to Celestia, taking a small package from her saddle bags and handing it over.
>"Here's the first 5 pounds of chocolate. The next 195 pounds of this month's delivery should arrive this week."
>Celestia quickly unwrapped the package with her magic, savoring the aroma before taking a bite.
>"Thank you for making this deal Princess. I've had my eye on him for quite a while, and I'm glad I can finally see what makes him tick."
"Suck my dick."
>"Don't worry, I will. If that's it, I guess we'll be leaving then. Goodbye Princess."
>As you were carried off, you yelled some heartfelt words of departure to your friend.
>"FUCK YOU CELESTIA."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

>"Oh my..." she breathes. "It looks magnificent."
>Celestia is gazing in rapturous wonder at your creation, a great dome of slightly carmelized meringue, the surface intricately and elegantly swirled with chocolate. 
>Just for fun, you'd carefully topped it with a perfect reproduction of her celestial sun cutie mark in golden almond meringue. "What IS this?" she asks. 
>You're already slicing into it, cutting her a nice wedge out and placing it on a silver dish. "Baked Alaska, it's called. It's a favorite dish on my world," you say. 
>She looks at it curiously, and not a little hungrily. "Is that...is that ice cream in there>" she asks, studying it closely. "How did you DO that?" 
>"Human magic," you smirk. "I kept having to shove your chefs out of the way when I was making this," you say. "They were all a bit scandalized. Except for Banana Souffle, I think she was actually kind of turned on..." 
>She laughs, the sound of silver bells in the chamber. 
>The outside is still piping-hot from the oven, but the inside is a frozen miracle of layers of ice cream, a dozen in all, each a different flavor, and as exotic as you could find.
>All of it rests on a double layer of chocolate sponge cake, with a layer of chocolate ganache between them. 
>You place her plate before her, along with a goblet of a nice chilled port. "This is so beautiful that I don't know if I WANT to eat it," she says, eying your creation with some combination of lust and wonder 
>You sit across from her. "But you must," you say. "I created this to honor all five senses, not just sight." 
>"Yes, I suppose you're right," she says. "But I can still regret the necessity..."
>She delicately forks up a bite and takes it into her mouth. Her eyes widen for a moment before drifting closed, and she makes a sound of pure, orgasmic pleasure. 
>She swallows, and says, "This is...oh my...wow. Words are failing me here." 
>You grin.
>She eats slowly, savoring each and every bite, sipping the port between each. "This is like eating sex," she says. "I cannot BELIEVE that Equestria didn't have this already."
>You've already gotten her a second wedge and topped off her port, and you're munching through one yourself. There's plenty of it left, though you're going to swear off on the one piece. 
>But you're pretty sure that the rest of it isn't going to last the night, though. Sunny's sweet tooth is the stuff of legends. 
>"I'm pretty sure our worlds have a lot to teach each other," you say. "I'm also pretty sure I could prepare you a new dish a day for the next ten years without repeating any.." 
>You're going to follow through on that. Just preparing a simple dessert for Celestia, your love, is more fulfilling than literally everything else you've ever done in your life. Fuck being a sous-chef. You'll settle for cooking for your love, and gladly. 
>"You might want to save a bit of that for Luna," you say, jokingly. She makes a sound halfway between a growl and a groan of dismay, and grabs the dessert platter in her magic. "Mine," she says through a mouthful of ice cream, meringue and cake. "Mine mine mine." She sticks her tongue out at you.
>You laugh. "No, I'm perfectly happy to share with her," she chuckles, putting the platter down again. "Although knowing you, you've got one ready for her already." 
>"And you'd be right," you say. "I'll surprise her with it at her breakfast, with some Blue Mountain Blend on the side. I think she'll enjoy it a little more than her usual bagels and nutella..."
>You clink your glasses together, and go on talking through the rest of the evening over your port, and your sweets for the sweet. 
>It's a nice evening for you both.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

>Anon in Equestria
>He's the only human, so he hasn't exactly had the most active sex life
>He heads to his room to polish his spear before going to sleep, but freezes when he finds a lingerie-clad Celestia laying in his bed
>"You were going to masturbate, right? Well, go ahead. I'm not judging you."
>His bed is the only piece of furniture he can really do his business on in his room, so he has to lie down next to her
>His eyes crawl along her delicious curves as he strokes
>Sometimes she leans in, nuzzles him, and whispers gentle encouragement
>He "accidentally" brushes his hand against her, and she doesn't react
>Her smile widens as his free hand begins to massage her flank
>When he reaches his climax, she holds him close to her so that he can't aim away
>His seed splashes along the inside of her thigh, and she compliments his virility
>She stands up, nuzzles his nose, and promises to visit him again sometime
>Then she teleports away
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

>You hear a loud noise as you're getting out of the shower, and wrap a towel around yourself to investigate
>Ozone tickles your nose as you round the corner into the living room and discover some unexpected guests
>One is a small, colorful unicorn wearing a brown jacket and a weird set of goggles, but the other is the one that catches your eye first
>A tall, pale, winged unicorn with the image of the sun across her flanks and an aurora borealis flowing gracefully in place of her mane and tail
>They both look your way and smile before the smaller one speaks up
>"Ah, here he is. This is a human! While their needs exceed something like a cat or a dog, their sapience more than makes up for it. He'll practically take care of himself."
>The tall one moves in close and looks you over
>"He's quite the handsome creature, isn't he? This furless skin is very exotic."
>"You'll have to make sure you keep him clothed; they generally don't like being naked, and they can get sick when it's cold out."
>The pegacorn nods as she circles around you
>"You won't have to potty train him or anything, he should already know what to do. Right?"
>You blink
>Oh, she's talking to you
>It's weird to suddenly be addressed like a person after they were just talking about you so impersonally
"Uh, yeah, I know where to shit."
>The taller leans in front of you and frowns
>"Language, dear."
>"Don't worry about that too much, Princess. Our records indicate that he's very docile and agreeable; he'll be a real sweetheart once he gets used to you."
>Princess touches the tip of her hoof to your towel
>"Do you mind if I take a look?"
>You tighten the towel around your waist, and the unicorn chuckles
>"Like I said, they don't like to be naked. Let's head to the next world and check out the rest of your options."
>Princess nods and steps back as the unicorn lights her horn
>"I almost feel like I've made up my mind already."
>She winks at you as they both vanish in a flash
>What the fuck was that about?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>"a brothel?"
"Yes, Your Highness."
>"Well, I suppose everyone likes broth."
"..."
>"What? That's what it is, right? A restaurant that serves soup and broth, isn't it?"
"Oh, nothing, Your Majesty."
>"You're giving me that look again. I've misunderstood something and it's going to result in embarrassment."
"Why do you say that?"
>"Your father gave me that look. And his father, whenever I'd misunderstood something crucial."
"Did they?"
>"And then they were too embarrassed themselves to explain it to me."
"That makes sense, I suppose."
>"So, what's a 'brothel?'"
*sigh* "Wait here, while I get out the big fuzzy puppets and the whiteboard."
* * * much later * * *
>"And you're saying that young males want to do this with their, their..."
"Yes, Your Majesty. It is instinctive."
>"To put his wee wee in a girl's fuzzy wuzzy and go unf unf."
"I think you may see why everyone's embarrassed now."
>"And they're willing to pay for this, and young women take their money to allow them to do it."
"Yes, Your Majesty."
>"Do you think I'm pretty enough?"
"Pardon me, Your Majesty?"
>"To work in a 'brothel.'"
"I need a drink."
>"Do the young males want to put their wee wees in my fuzzy wuzzy when they see me?"
"I definitely need a drink."
>"But I suppose they'd need a stepladder."
"Or perhaps I could fall on my sword, right here."
>"Because I'm so tall."
"Right, where did I leave my sword?"
>"What are you doing?"
"Killing myself."
>"Why would you do that?"
>and that was the last time anyone mentioned brothels in front of Princess Celestia
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

>"You don't seem to have lost any respect for me."
"You're a goddess. Different standards."
>She snorts, but smiles.
"It's the way I was raised. A man can never allow himself to look weak or foolish."
>"I know, and I respect that. At the same time, I'd be very touched if you allowed me to see you just a little bit vulnerable."
"...fine. I'm only willing to do this to make you happy, Sunny Buns. You know I love you and I can never tell you 'no.'"
>she grins. "You'll love this. I promise."
>she removes a golden horseshoe and uses one of the sharp corners to scrape crumbs off the brick
>loads the hookah, ignites it with magical fire. "Fire in the hole," she whispers
>holds he mouthpiece in her magical field, and takes an enormous, horse-sized toke, the hookah gurgling
>then wraps her wings around you in a feathery soft hug
>and blows the smoke in your face
>touches your chest with a marshmallow hoof
>"I'm gonna get you stoned and molest you."
>takes another hit from the hookah
>and kisses you on the mouth, nibbling softly at your lower lip, touching the tip of her tongue to yours
>and passes a lungful of smoke to you, from her mouth to yours
>and hugs your face to the soft fluffy hair on her chest
>"Hold the smoke in for me, honey. Hold it in for Auntie Tia. You're going to get a surprise."
>she sucks in another lungful of smoke, smiling at you beatifically
>you can hold it no longer, and you cough and sputter
>immediately she kisses you again, and passes more smoke to you
>"Yeah, sweetie. You're going to feel so good. Let Auntie Tia take care of you."
>she kisses your neck, your ears
>nuzzles your neck and begins unbuttoning your shirt with her dextrous lips
>she puts the hookah's mouthpiece in your hands, pushes the end into your mouth, and grins hugely
>"Now suck the smoke in, sweetie. Suck it in deep, and hold it in for me. That's a good boy."
>she holds your face against her chest again, her soft marshmallow hooves roaming your back as she whispers in your ear
>"I promise, I promise you're going to love this."
>you recall later that at this point you feel yourself becoming dizzy
>but from this point on your memories are fragmented
>discontinuous
>she blows a stream of smoke into your face, then kisses you on each cheek, and giggles
>you have difficulty concentrating, focusing
>you try to stand but the floor is at a strange angle and you must wrap your arms around her for support
>but your body is tingling
>and she's the most beautiful thing you've ever seen
>the universe vanishes, nothing exists but her eyes and voice
>and the sensation of the short smooth soft hair all over her chest as you hug her
>it feels amazing, just holding your arms around her barrel feels erotic
>you plant little kisses all the way up and down her neck, across her beautiful muzzle, onto her lips
>she is atop you, her wings wrapped around you, her hooves on your shoulders, her tongue squirming in your mouth
>you think disconnected, non-sequential thoughts about squirming octopus tentacles, then imagine for an instant that she has become the most beautiful octopus you can imagine
>octopi live in the sea, her eyes are as deep as the sea, and you could drown in them
>the sea is salty, just like her cunt, which is suddenly rubbing against your mouth insistently
>her adorable bright pink clit stuck out at you, while she smirks over her shoulder at you
>she squeals at the touch of your tongue
>you french-kiss her glistening round donut-sized asshole while touching her clit with your fingers
>and are rewarded by animalistic grunts and growls of pleasure and a gush of hot salty fluids
>she is atop you, her face a mask of lust and hunger as she impales herself on your cock
>"Rut me hard. Rut me from underneath, right there, don't stop"
>you groan at the amazing slippery wet heat of her, it feels like she's milking your cock with her vaginal muscles
>you feel almost as though rainbow colored fire should be running up and down the shaft of your cock as it plunges into her
>and you wrap your arms around her barrel and ram your hips up into hers for all you're worth
>she moans and squeals and whinnies joyfully
>"Give me your seed! All of it! Fill up my womb and give Auntie Tia a foal!"
>you arch your back and scream "I love you, I love you, I love you," convulsing beneath her as you come harder than you can ever remember coming in your life
>you are wrapped in her soft white wings, looking at her beautiful, loving eyes in a warm daze
>"But I'm still horny," she says
>and walks unsteadily to a chest of drawers
>and withdraws an intimidatingly large sex toy
>and says "Stick it in my cunt and fuck me with it, hard."
>and you do
>you fuck her with the toy and lick her asshole while she whips her tail from side to side and growls and moans
>and finally screams and begs you to stop
>your response is to twist and roll the enormous rubber horsecock inside her instead of in and out, while licking her clit daintily
>she screams sharply once more, then picks you up with her magic and throws you onto the bed
>and joins you, wrapping her forelegs around you and cuddling you, big spoon to your little spoon
>and whispers in your ear "I told you you'd like it."

end
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>Fucking sun, too fucking early for this shit.
>Grumbling to yourself your footfalls echoed down the hall as various ponies ducked and dodged out of your way in horror.
>The sun rose this morning waking you up with all its glory, but you didn’t want to be up, no sir-ee bob. Anon wanted sleep.
>Sleep and a hangover who decided to fuck with your life.
>You drank enough of the royal wine last night to put a normal pony in the hospital and then some.
>Now there should only be sleep.
>So dressed in your best jammies (the nice green ones you got from a strange mint green unicorn) you were going to see a certain princess and have her dial it down a notch.
>”And that is why we can ease the trade restri… Anonymous good morning.”
>You were going to ignore that statement, you know you looked like shit, hell you felt like it.
>All the heads in the room turned to you, various dignitaries smiling and waving at you.
>Had you not been feeling like shit you would have waved back, they were some alright horses in your book.
>Without a single word you walked up to Sunny-Buns.
>Had your eyes been fully open and you gave a shit you would have noticed the look of terror that washed over her face as you began touching her.
>Several ponies in the Royal Court just outright fainted.
>It was just too much for their marshmallow minds to take in.
>Moving one hand on her cutie mark, you moved it in a circular direction like a dimmer knob.
>The sun began to dim, then got brighter, then dimmer, how the fuck do you work this thing?
>”Anon please stop, this is… is.. highly ina..propriate.” She tried saying it smoothly but little yelps and moans were coming out of her mouth at every breath.
>You weren’t going to, your other hand tried booping her right on the nose, which caused a strobe like effect to start.
>Maybe you needed to change the angle? Lifting her floaty tail and aligning towards the sun for best reception you tried various degrees.
>Well it looks like you had no choice but to go for the master control, reaching under her you found her soft teats.
>Rubbing them produced a pulsating effect within the sun, with every motion of your hand it would grow brighter and dimmer each time.
>”Anon I’m about to..”
>With a loud moan the sun let out a noise like a balloon being deflated before dimming to more acceptable light output.
“Much better. Good night.”
>Walking back to your room you ignored the panting Celestia laying in a pool of some questionable fluids.
>Every other pony in the court was out including the guards. Oh well they probably needed the shut eye as well.
>It was time to go back to sleep.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
https://pastebin.com/LV46JLec
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Do you love her enough to follow her wherever she would go, /sun/?

>you've served her faithfully as a chamberlain for decades, ever since you first found yourself in her lands and she took you in
>been thinking about retiring soon
>suddenly Celestia announces her own retirement
>says Twilight Sparkle is ready to take over her duties
>she comes to you
>tells you she's always known how you've felt about her
>asks you to come with her
>not to adventure, not to rule by her side
>but to an island in the middle of a lake so enormous that it is almost an inland freshwater sea
>the island is a few miles across, covered far enough from the next nearest land that it's over the horizon
>covered in pine forest with a little cabin and cleared land, and a boat landing she had set up
>she says she wants the simple life, with someone she trusts, someone she knows loves her
>someone she loves also, but could never say so before now
>would you go with her?
>not to a castle
>but to a little farm on an island, with a tiny orchard of fruit trees
>fertile fields to grow carrots and corn and potatoes
>she's the pony, she'll pull the plow
>you're the human, you have hands, you'll walk behind and steer it
>solitude, silent isolation, no more crowds, no more shouting nobles, just the song of birds and the whistle of the wind
>maybe get a few chickens
>row a boat to town twice a year to barter potatoes for flour and sugar and salt
>and live with someone you've loved since you first set eyes on her
>would you?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>Day mountain climbing in Equestria.
>You’re spitting your lungs out. Better keep going though.
>It’s hard when you’ve got to keep up with an immortal ruler of entire pony kind.
>She imposes a quite high tempo.
>Celestia’s smug mockery reaches you from above.
>”Are you tired Anonymous? Where’s that human endurance I have heard so much about?”
“Don’t worry princess. I’m just admiring the views from behind. That’s all,” you respond, stopping every few words to catch your breath.
>Your royal companion briefly freezes in place and giggles to herself.
>Your head ends up meeting with Celestia’s tail, and her hair covers your face.
>Why did she stop? 
“Is something wrong, princess?” you ask, sweeping her tail out of your face and still breathing heavily.
> As she goes back to climbing, the colourful curtain formed around your head lifts.
>What was that about?
>Few seconds of deep and careful analysis involving complicated mathematical formulas later you come to conclusion that given your position she might have a different idea of the “view” you admired.
>You stop for a moment to mentally slap yourself in the face.
“That’s not what I—“
>”I know, I know. Come on now, we need to pick up the pace,” she interrupted you.
“Can we stop for 5 minutes? I can’t keep up with you, your highness.”
>”This is fourth time you ask for a break in the last hour, Anonymous.”
”That wouldn’t be the case if I too had some of that Earth pony magic.”
>Thankfully she picks up on your suggestion and a yellow aura creeps around your body as you are lifted into the air.
>High into the air, with nothing to hold onto.
>Holy shit.
>You must be at least few hundreds of meters above the ground right now.
>Even if Celestia is probably the least likely pony to drop you, the sheer distance between you and the bottom scares you shitless.
>The princess gently presses you against her back, giving you enough time to get a good hold of her before her magic aura fades away.
>”Now we can keep going without you asking for a break every 15 minutes. Just make sure to hold tight.”
>You latch yourself onto Celestia, piggybacking for the rest of the way.
>”Easy now, you know I wouldn’t let you fall,” Celestia comments with a hint of pity in her voice.
“I’m not letting myself fall either,” you answer, tightening your grip on the alicorn’s body.
>”You could’ve told me you’re afraid of heights, Anonymous. No shame in that. Everyone has their own fears.”
“Y-yeah you can tell me more about this valuable life lesson once we’re done with climbing, princess.”
>”As you wish, my dear student,” she replied jokingly, and continued to climb.
>Under her soft fur you can feel her muscles constricting and relaxing rhythmically as she climbs higher and higher.
>Looking up you notice that you’re closing in on your destination, Celestia can almost reach it from here.
“The shelf’s right there Princess. I’m wondering, if you can levitate me so effortlessly why not just put me on top of that? I wouldn’t run away, you know.”
>”I need to stretch those old legs from time to time. Spending so many hours sitting in the throne room everyday makes me quite restless. There are very few ways of releasing all that energy, and for that there’s nothing better than a strong finish.”
Now that you think of it, it makes sense for a princess of the sun to be an energetic pony.
>She rarely showed any signs of it though.
>One thousand years of politics probably make you good at pretending.
>Your companion stops for a moment and looks up to the edge of the rocky shelf above you.
>Celestia’s body tenses up and she slightly leans back, positioning herself.
>”Hold tight now. I’m going to leap to the top.”
“Bu—“
>Before you can protest, your body is flung into the air. You’re trying your best to hold onto Celestia, but a combination of her coat soaked with sweat and your tired arms is too much.
>While falling and screaming for your life, you catch a glimpse of Celestia gracefully landing on the ground below you. Her horn lights up and a yellow aura creep up on your body once again. 
>Before you hit the floor, her magic slows you down enough to turn otherwise a painful landing into a harmless plop on the ground, right in front of the white alicorn.
>You exhale loudly and attempt to stare her down, which she answers with a slight huff.
>”Come on now, I already said I wouldn’t let you fall down.”
>You roll your eyes and get up from the ground, taking a moment to look around.
>You’re both standing on top of a large rocky shelf, which appears to be the last levelled ground on the way to the top.
>The entire side of the mountain is basking in orange light of sunset. Everything around you is casting long, dark shadows.
>The climbing must’ve taken longer than you thought.
>There are some green bushes growing out of the cracks. They have thick, waxy leaves. Other than that, it’s pretty empty up here.
>”Hey Anon, could you please look around for some sticks? I know there’s probably not much, but I thought we could get a little campfire going, what do you say?”
“Sounds fun! I’ll see what I can find.”
>You turn around, and start looking for anything that could burn easily. In a matter of seconds, a familiar sparkling noise reaches your ears, followed by a bright flash of light.
>Celestia is nowhere to be seen.
>Figuring it’s just usual magic business, you pay no more attention to it and continue picking up dried branches from the ground, while whistling happily.
>It took you half an hour, but you probably finally have enough wood.
>You’ve also ran out of songs to whistle.
>Apparently there’s not much wood scattered around high in the mountains, who would’ve guessed.
>What’s more surprising is that Celestia’s still not back from wherever she went.
>Figuring there’s nothing better to do, you form a circle from rocks lying around and dump the wood you’ve gathered earlier inside.
>Looking around, you still don’t see any white alicorns nearby.
>What you do see however, is that it’s gotten pretty dark by now, and without sun to warm up the air, it became pretty cool.
>You’re so high up you can’t make out any details on the ground. It all blends together into a black blanket, covering everything below you. Only the outlines of mountains on the horizon are illuminated by the moonlight.
>Well, might as well get the fire going now.
>If Celestia is going to be late it’s her fault.
>Images of those survival shows back on Earth spring to mind as you awkwardly rub two sticks together.
>Nothing comes out of it though. Not even a single spark, or a streak of grey smoke. Your arms refuse to keep going after 20 minutes.
>Just as you’re about to throw the sticks away in frustration, a bright light flashes in front of you.
>The horse princess is back.
>She’s holding a pack of marshmallows in her mouth, along with some sharpened sticks.
“Where have you been for the last hour or so?” you ask, frowning in anger.
“I’ve been waiting here, trying to get this damn fire going because it’s gotten pretty cold.”
>Celestia walks over to you and passes the bag and the sticks into your hands.
>”Sorry it took so long, I grabbed us some sweets and then had to arrange something with Luna. Don’t worry. The wait was worthwhile, I promise.”
“These marshmallows better be of royal quality,” you say in a somewhat annoyed tone as you impale them on the sticks.
>”Not quite what I had in mind, but I’m sure you’ll like them,” she responds, as her horn lights up and the wood in the campfire is set ablaze. 
>Both of you pick your places on the opposite sides of the bonfire and sit down, with the sticks pointing high as not to turn the marshmallows black.
>The air is filled with chirping of various bugs, which took interest in your little campfire.
>Especially the moths.
>Your royal companion seems to be enjoying the atmosphere. She’s unfocused, taking in the moment. 
“You don’t get to do this very often, do you, princess?”
>”Please, drop the formalities, Anonymous. We’re the only ones up here. No need to address me by my title.”
“Ok then. It’s just that everyone does that, even Twilight keeps calling you a princess.”
>”That’s just Twilight being herself, always playing by the rules,” she explains with a warm smile on her face.
>Her horn lights up once more and you feel your stick rising up from the fire.
>On its end, a marshmallow. It’s nicely browned.
>Without saying a word, you carefully pull it off the spiked end and blow on it to cool it off. Celestia does the same with hers.
>You quickly get to the best part.
>Holy, this stuff’s great.
>You’ve never tasted grilled marshmallows before. On the few occasions when you went camping and had a bonfire, you grilled sausages instead.
>Young you would go crazy if he got any of these goodies.
>But present you would kill for a nice, juicy sausage instead.
>Or any meat, actually.
>Since you arrived into this land of talking horses, there were few occasions to taste any meat.
>Trying to forget about it, you impale a handful of marshmallows on the stick and get back to grilling.
>”Someone’s hungry?”
“Marshmallows are all nice and stuff, but the smell of bonfire reminds me of my camping trips back on Earth. We used to cook different kind of food though.”
>”Like what? I’m all ears if you want to talk about your people Anon,” Celestia responds as she leans in your direction and her ears shoot up, ready to listen to your tale.
“Sausages. You probably don’t have that stuff here, but maybe griffons do.”
>”I’m sorry but I’m not familiar with neither human nor griffon cuisine. What’s a sausage?”
>Unsure if you should continue, you stay silent for a short while.
>Talking about meat isn’t probably the best idea right now.
>Only when Celestia tilts her head in a confused manner you speak up again.
“It’s a sack of grounded meat, basically.”
>You watch closely, expecting Celestia to be grossed out like any pony, but she just continues to look in your direction with her signature, unfazed smile.
>”Oh, I understand now,” she breaks the silence with a giggle. “You thought it’s going to weird me out, didn’t you?”
“Well I—“
>”That’s adorable,” she continues as she munches on more marshmallows. “I appreciate the care, but you’re forgetting I lived for quite a while, and I can tell you Anonymous, I saw a lot in that time. Carnivores don’t faze me.”
>Shit, now you feel kind of stupid.
>”Come on, I already knew your kind eats meat. Griffons do it too, and I don’t mind. I like you just the way you are. There’s no need to be shy just because you’re different.”
>Now you just feel like a child lectured by its mother.
>It’s not an entirely unwanted feeling though.
>Celestia is a great mentor and whenever you like it or not, she’s almost always right.
>You appreciate the fact that someone as busy as her decided to take you under her wings and help you in your sudden transition.
>”But enough lessons for now, I want to hear more about you and your people. Perhaps you could tell me about your family? You rarely speak of them. I find it odd to be honest.”
“There’s not much to talk about.”
>”I see… Maybe you can tell me about your friends back on Earth then?”
“What do you want to know about them? We were just an ordinary group, not what I would call tight knit, but we had each other’s backs.”
>“How did you all met?” Celestia asked.
“Most of my friendships come from my time at school. We were in the same classes and just kind of stuck together from then on.”
>”And how would you spend your time together?”
“We did all kind of stuff. Aimlessly wandering around our neighbourhood, going on camping trips just like this one. Most often though, we would spend all night playing games on the internet together.”
>”I’m sorry, what’s an internet?” Celestia asks to get some clarification.
“It’s err, a worldwide web, connecting many computer devices. Imagine if you could read any book there is, on demand, or if you could fit all the books in the world inside one of them. Well, kind of.”
>You’re not sure if you did a good job at explaining.
>Celestia brings her hoof to her muzzle and looks up for a moment, recollecting her memories.
>”Sounds like a spell Twilight came up with once. Oh yes, I remember that day. She mixed up contents of every book in the royal library. Apparently, she didn’t want to waste any time reaching for them.”
>”But princess! This is so much more efficient!” She quotes while putting on the best Twilight impression she can do.
“Sounds like Twilight alright.” You answer, sharing a laugh with your companion.
>Silence falls between you and Celestia for a while.
“I can’t say I miss Earth, but I miss them. I wonder what they’re up to.”
>”I’m sure they miss you too. May I ask, is there anyone else you miss, Anonymous?”
“Like who? I already told you about my friends.”
>She stays silent, waiting for you to continue.
“What? I don’t miss my family, if that’s what you want to know.”
>”That’s not what I was thinking about Anon.”
“Then what are you thinking about?”
>”I guess I was just trying to find out if you had, or have a special somepo— erm, a special somebody?”
>Her question catches you off guard.
>Back on Earth most people wouldn’t bother asking you about relationships.
>Guess you’ve got a clean account here.
>”Excuse me if I’m wrong, but you seem of age and I’m just curious,” she quickly adds.
“No, a lot of time passed since the last time I had a girlfriend, assuming that one time at high school even counts,” you answer, chuckling at your own joke, which Celestia answers with a smile.
>As both of you sit quietly by the fire, you notice that the chirping of crickets died down and if not for cracking of burning wood, this place would fall completely silent.
>You yawn loudly.
>”Aw, are you tired already? I hoped we could stay up a little longer and you know… talk?” She said, as smile disappeared from her face.
“Don’t worry, we can still talk whatever you want to talk about, just let me find some nice spot to lay down on.”
>You look around yourself, sweeping away pebbles and dust, at which Celestia giggles again.
“I know, I know. You don’t happen to carry a sleeping bag or a mattress with you, do you?”
>”No, but I’ve been told my coat and feathers are very soft.”
>She stretches out her wings wide, presenting them to you.
>Assuming it’s just a joke, you let out a short laugh.
>However, Celestia doesn’t fold back her wings.
>Instead, she’s looking at you, waiting until you come over.
“You’re being serious?” 
>”As I said before Anonymous, there’s no need to be shy. We’re the only ones here. You can of course sleep on the cold stone if you wish so.”
>Celestia’s coat does sound like a preferable option of the two.
>And besides, it’s just Celestia. She’s always doing her best for everyone. She wouldn’t let you sleep on a cold rock.
>Slowly, you get up from your spot and walk over to Celestia, who’s still waiting for you with open wings.
>There’s a wide, warm smile on her face.
>As you approach her, she lies down on her belly and holds up one of her wings, inviting you to join her.
>You sit down and lie across. Her wing rests stretched out over your body, acting as a coverlet. 
>She didn’t lie. Her coat is REALLY soft, as are her feathers.
>She’s also incredibly warm, like a walking radiator.
>”So, how is it? Warm enough?”
“Yeah, you make a cosy bed, did you knew that?”
>”I’m glad you like it, the pleasure’s mine.”
>Resting your head on the white alicorn’s body, you look up at the night sky.
>It’s filled with bright stars forming countless formations, some of which are suspiciously similar to those you could see from Earth.
>A familiar, bright white crescent outshines anything on the night sky.
>”If you look closely enough, you might spot a few shooting stars.”
>Looking away from the moon, with a corner of your eye you spot some faint flickering.
>After a few seconds, another one.
>And one more.
>Each in different colour.
>Blue, red, green, yellow or plain white streaks decorate the sky above you.
>The rain of shooting stars intensifies brightening the dark skies.
>Never would you suspect that night could be so colourful, turns out it’s not just shades of white and black.
>Still, during your time in Equestria you’ve never witnessed anything like this. It must be a rare occurrence. 
>Suddenly, you recall Celestia mentioning Luna earlier. 
“Is that what took you so long to arrange with Luna?”
>“Oh, so you actually listened, I thought you were too busy sulking,” she said with a smirk on her face.
“Wow. Thanks, I appreciate the effort,” you reply, reaching out your hand over Celestia’s back head.
>”The pleasu—“
>Her whole body tenses up in shock and her ears twitch as you try to scratch Celestia behind her ears.
>Didn’t she like it?
>Oh fuck, better get your hand out of there.
>Shit, you’ve probably allowed yourself for too much there.
>The white alicorn eases up after a while and finally breaks the awkward silence.
>”Anonymous!”
“Ok, listen. I’m sorry princess it was a stupid idea.”
>Hopefully she won’t make you sleep on a rock now.
>Or drop you off the cliff.
>Or both.
>She exhales loudly before continuing.
>”You should’ve warned me…”
>What now?
>”I’m sorry I reacted like that, I know I scared you. I’m just not used to this, usually I’m the one comforting ponies.”
>”Aaand no one ever dared to touch me back there. Now please, continue,” she said with a smile on her face.
>As your hand finds its way to her ears, Celestia speaks up one last time.
>”Just don’t ever think of doing it with others around. Understand?”
“As clear as day,” you answer, closing your eyes and slowly falling asleep, with your fingers still massaging her ears.
>A low rumble coming from your belly breaks the silence.
>Soon after Celestia answers it with a belly rumbling of her own.
>”I knew I should bring more than a pack of marshmallows,” she comments in a sleepy voice.
>Both of you share a laugh one last time before drifting away to the realm of dreams.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>it was a cold day
>you and Sunbutt have been on a diplomatic visit to the Griffin Kingdoms
>you're at one of the Griffin King's "hunting cabins"
>it is, of course, a good-sized castle
>way, way up in the Ironfang Mountains
>in the middle of the coldest December in living memory
>your immortal sun goddess bride calls to you from beneath a mountain of quilts and blankets
>her voice is muffled
>"Come join me, Anon. It's actually warm in here."
"You don't have to call me twice."
>and you tighten the belt around your camouflage pajamas (a gift from the King)
>and tiptoe rapidly across the cold, cold stone floor in the matching set of slippers that came with it
>carefully roll up one edge of the neat stack of covers and scoot inside
>ah, it IS warm
>finally
>you've both been freezing your asses off all day in a drafty stone castle, listening to King Gordon tell hunting stories
>you feel her hooves on your shoulders
>and she kisses the back of your neck
"My beautiful Sunbutt, without you there'd be no warmth in my life."
>she chuckles
>and you turn to face her in the darkness, under the quilts
>and gently rub her pregnant belly
>she sighs happily
>life is good
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>Twenty years.
>Twenty years and you never really get used to the mare that is Princess Celestia. Though you see her every day, though you've known her for what feels like countless lifetimes, it's still hard to accurately pinpoint just who exactly she is.
>Is she an angel? Some otherworldly being sent by God to grace your previously dull and crumbling life? A divine agent coming to rid your world of all hardship and trial?
>Or maybe the answer is as simple as her just being the girl next door who you stumbled upon on the final day of summer.
>Regardless of who she was, is, and may be in your future together, she'll always be the one who's named Celestia. And that'd be enough. For who else could this mare possibly be?
>The fact will always remain that she appeared in such a pivotal moment in your life. When the world was as dull as new age dystopia matte painting. The world had fallen into a bleak winter, never to reemerge from the oppressive and aggressive ice that had marched over the world.
>In childhood, the world was so bright, so full of possibilities. You had ambitions, goals, and dreams. Your childlike naïveté was ready to break open the world's shell and unlock what it meant to be human. That is of course until you fell down the slippery slope that is adulthood. That terrible tumble all humans inevitably take.
>The once bright world around you had began to decay at an alarming rapid rate, as well as your own body and mind. Your very soul began to snuff out in the quiet dark, buffeted by the impossible blizzard that was the world.
>Then she appeared. That star that chariots the sun across the morning sky. A ray of light shot from high heaven to banish the cold and once again restore color to your world. Whiter than white. Holier than the very ground you walked on.
>She was big and larger than life. Time stood still to gaze in awe at her. As she descended into your starved, near hollowed life, you could feel the solar winds kiss your pale cheeks.
>And as she spoke, a verbal kiss that filled your lungs with the most honeyed air, you began reawaken.
>From that moment, all was clear. Responsibility and obligation became tiny afterthoughts, mere inconsistencies to the new vita you were apart of. Life had been given new meaning. And how sweet it was.
>Sometimes it's hard to recognize yourself when you look in the mirror. It's the same face, but each time you see it there's a nuance that suggests serenity. An unreal serenity that long ago you were never capable of. It's only possible because of her.
>When you look at her it's the same. The same beauty you've been seeing all these years. But under the surface there is a suggestion of a deeper happiness. Especially when she looks at you. Her eyes soften, her lips move ever so slightly into an appreciative smile that kisses you from afar. She will always bow her head in an unpracticed sub-conscious nod for your existence.
>Each time you lock eyes you can tell that the both of you are simultaneously recapping the last twenty years. It lasts for only a second or two, but you always sync up at the last moment and turn away from each other in a satisfied grin.
>These moments are ever precious to you both. They're never mentioned however. Most of your time with her is spent in silence, merely appreciating each other's existence. You've long bypassed the need to communicate with words. When two hearts are as one there is no room for the language of man. Language is but a vehicle to carry lies, miscommunication, and misunderstandings. When one speaks with the heart, if the other truly knows and love you, your desires will be communicated on an entirely different level.
>These silent conversations you have with her are eternity itself. Each meeting with her is a repeat of heaven. Nothing is so grand and vast than the serene afternoons you spend with her. The same is with her.
>"There is no place on Earth I'd rather be than by your side. For you are what I will always return to in the end. Kingdoms mays rise and fall. Stars will be born and fade. The very cosmos will one day wither and die, as all things do. But my love for you will always be."
>She said this once. She's actually said this many times but it always feels like the first. You'd like to believe it, but really there's no real need for your love to last that long. What's important is that is began in the first place. What's most vital to you is that you had the one in a million chance to meet her. There's no need to immortalize what you feel. What value would others find in the love shared between others they've never even met or heard of?
>What's important is to value it for what it is. All things in life are temporary, once some things are gone sometimes we never get them back. So you mush cherish these things. Keep them dear to you and never let them go.
>There will come times when the colors of life are drowned out by heavy rains and all brightness is chased away by the hounding dark. In those times it's okay to grieve. Maybe even fall into depression. But just because things move away from you doesn't mean you never had them. Take comfort in the experience you had with them.
>And maybe, just maybe another ray of sunlight will peek through the ominous clouds and she'll come. Come to chase away the dark with her light.
>Everyone perceives her differently. She takes many forms, many abstract. But it's still her. Sometimes she's physical, sometimes she comes to you in as providence or a positive happening. But it's all linked back to her.
>As long as one remembers that there is actually hope in that dark world, her light will always find away to save you lift you back on your feet.
>So stay positive and patient, and Celestia will come to you.
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>Anon woke up in the morning next to sweet Celestia.
>Celestia warmly bantered with anon under the covers.
>The morning sunlight cuddled the room.
>It was a big day today.
>Celestia stopped giggling and looked her verdant husband in his eyes.
"We should probably get ready anon, our friends might be here soon for the baby shower.
>Anon just stroked her cheek in response.
>The two of them spent their morning preparing for the baby shower.
>Then they heard a knock at the door.
>Anon answered it.
>All their friends poured into the living room, greeting them with warm, welcome smiles.
>Celestia gracefully descended upon them from upstairs.
>Anon's parents congratulated the two of them. 
"I'm so proud of you son."
>Anon's father looked at him with welling eyes.
>Anon returned his father's tearful gaze.
>They all laughed, played games, and exchanged gifts to the lovely couple.
>It was true nirvana.
>Then a awful, earth shattering crack of lightning filled the sky.
>Followed by a thunderous wail of a baby crying rumbling off the walls, bellowing from the clouds.
"It's time!"
>Celestia declared with glee.
>They all gathered on the balcony.
>Suddenly, the floodgates shattered open, releasing a literal deluge of newborn babies unto the land.
>Babies showered down on the people below, a cacophony of millions of babies crying pierced the ears of millions.
>Anon and Celestia danced to it.
"The pegasi sure have a lot to clean..."
>Celestia chimed ominously.
>Anon smirked.
"They sure do my love, They surrrrrrrrrre do..."
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