>"And I pick..."
>"YOU!"
>"YES, YOU!"
>"The guy with the green skin and no eyes!"
>"How's it sound taking the single coolest, fastest, awesomest and hottest girl at CHS to the prom?!"


>You look over your left shoulder
>There's nobody there
>You look over your right shoulder
>Again, there's nobody there
"Are you talking to me?"
>"Duh, who else do you know at this school who's green?"
>A few people do actually come to mind at first, but before you can answer she's got you by the arm
>"Come on, we've got some planning to do."
"Look, I don't even now your name..."
>"It's Rainbow Dash knucklehead, get used to saying it, cuz it's the name you'll be telling your grandkids."
>Grandkids?
>For god's sake you just wanted to eat your lunch in peace
>As she roughly drags you into the hallway, you try to find a way out of this situation
"Rainbow Dash, I appreciate you being interested, but I wasn't even going to go to prom."
>"Too bad, because you're taking me."
"But why?"
>As far as random dudes go, you're not much to sneeze at
>Average build, height, grades, house
>Average as fuck
>And now you were being dragged through the halls to god knows where by the tightest ass in school
>Something was amiss
>She finally lets go of your arm once the pair of you are in a secluded alcove
>You rub your arm where her vicelike grip left indents
"Care to explain what's going on now?"
>Now it's her turn to look over your shoulder to see if the coast is clear
>"Look Anon, let's just say that somebody really wants you to get out and do something with yourself."
>Fucking Pinkie, you knew it
>"And they've recruited me to do anything to make sure you go to prom."
"Anything?"
>"Anything."

>This is it Anon
>Your chance to finally get your dick wet
>Rape her
>Seize the day you pussy
"Look Rainbow Dash, I think you're great and all, but I'm not going to extort anything from you."
>Of course you're going to white knight it you pansy
>She looks at you incredulously
>"Have you seen me?"
>You allow your eyes to travel up and down her body
>unf
"I have, and I know that you'll only have a miserable time if you take a social autist like me."
>Now you've just confused her
>"A social what now?"
>You sigh and roll your eyes at the ceiling
"As much as I appreciate the over, I'm not going to allow you to ruin prom for yourself just because Pinkie called in a favor."
>You sling your backpack over a shoulder and start walking away
>"Hey, wait up!"
>Her hand grabs your arm again and you stop
>You turn to look at her, expecting to see an annoyed expression
>Nope, she looks like you blew her mind
"Are you ok?"
>"Yeah, it's just..."
>She pauses, apparently lost in thought
>"I was expecting you to be like all the other scumbags around here."
"Elaborate please."
>"Well, all the other guys just want to go to prom with me because they want to bone me."
>You cringe a little at the turn this conversation is taking
>"But you seem...different."
>She's looking at you like some sort of alien creature
>Apparently she's never met a guy who wasn't a fuckboy
>"I guess what I'm trying to say is...will you go to prom with me?"

>Everything about this situation is so fucking wrong
>A girl just asked you to prom
>A very attractive one, at that
>Solely because you weren't an asshole to her
>While you and her look dumbly at each other, you pinch your leg violently
>Pain, lots of pain
>This isn't a dream, Anon, Rainbow Dash just asked you to prom
>And you still haven't answered her, by the way
"Yeah, sure...I guess."
>Holy shit you said yes
>She gives you a genuine, shy smile
>Butterflies erupt throughout your body
>"Cool, uh, I'll meet you after school, ok?"
"Yeah, that sounds pretty cool."
>With a final scrunchy smile, she turns and departs
>You follow her progress until she's out of sight, and then lean against the wall
>Back at your house, you already had your prom night ready
>Bag of Doritos, copy of Fallout, and a box of tissues
>Now, you were inexplicably taking Rainbow Dash
>You look at your own reflection in the window across from you
"What the hell just happened?"
>The empty hallway ignores you
>Until the bell rings
>One problem at a time Anon, just go to class
>As you start plodding along to your next class, you try to get your thoughts in order
>You needed advice from somebody
>Pinkie comes to mind first, even though she set this up in the first place
>Flash comes second, but only because he IS a fuckboy
>Decisions, decisions, who to go to
>Remember Anon, you were going to jerk your way through prom
>You'll need all the help you can get

>You know that you share your English class with Pinkie
>Might as well interrogate her first
>As usual, you're the first to arrive, so you take your seat in the back of the room
>The teacher doesn't even bother acknowledging your presence
>When Pinkie walks in, she looks around and makes a beeline towards you
>You were right, she DID have a hand in this scheming
>"Well?!"
"Pinkie..."
>"What did you have her do?"
"Do?"
>She gives you an impatient scowl and leans closer
>"How did she 'convince' you?"
>She elbows you with a wink
"I said no."
>"But Rainbow said..."
"I said no at first, because I didn't want her to ruin her own senior prom."
>"Then what?"
"Then she asked again, but she seemed sincere...so I said yes."
>Pinkie's trademark grin splits her face in half as she throws her hands up, narrowly missing your jaw
>Luckily, you had anticipated her reaction, and managed not to fly backwards
>"Yes!"
"Pinkie, I still feel kind of unsure about this..."
>"Nonny, listen, I worked very hard to make sure that you didn't miss prom, and there are still plenty of things to do."
>She produces a list from her pocket
>A fucking list
>How deep does this shit go?
>"I'm going to make sure that you actually have a good time with your peers for a change. No more sitting at home doing nothing."
>She checks something off the list
>"Step one: Get a date. Checked."
>Pinkie is literally walking you though the social process of going to prom
>Maybe there is hope
"What's step two?"
>"Step two: Get to know your date."

"Get to know her?"
>"Of course Nonny, do you already know Rainbow Dash?"
>You knew that she was the captain of the soccer team
>And that she had a reputation for being a cunt
>You'd disagree after having met her today though
"Not really, no."
>"Ok, then you need to hang out with her, do some stuff."
"Stuff?"
>"Like a date."
>You've never been on a date before
>The events of today were escalating quickly
"Do you think you could make some recommendation's, this is all still new to me."
>"Take her out to dinner or something."
"Ok...I can do that, dinner is possible."
>Somehow you feel optimistic
>Like you have a chance of not messing this up
"She asked to meet after school...should I just take her somewhere?"
>Pinkie nods in the affirmative
"Alright, after school it is."
>You busy yourself getting ready for class while your mind races
>Pinkie really threw herself under the bus to try to help you
>Granted, she through a wrench through the delicate bubble of your comfort zone, but it was with good intentions
"Hey Pinkie?"
>She looks at you
"Thanks for this, I appreciate it."
>"Of course Nonny, everyone deserves to be happy."
>As the bell rings the start of class, you think about Rainbow Dash and smile

>English drags by, as you anticipated it would
>Time always goes slow when you have something to look forward to
>After class, you remember that you were going to ask Flash for help as well
>If anybody knew how to deal with girls, it would be him
>Right?
>You spot his spiky blue haircut over by Sunset's locker and walk up behind him, trying to be incognito
"Hey Flash."
>He spins around and looks at you
>"Anon? What do you want?"
"You now stuff about girls right?"
>The sheer juvenile aura of your question almost makes you facepalm
>His face changes from quizzical to smug in an instant
>"You've come to the grand master Anon..."
>Over his shoulder you see Pinkie emerge from the English room and look at you
>Her eyes go wide
>"You see, I myself have been with many fine ladies in my day..."
>Pinkie starts advancing toward you with a strange look in her eye
"Um...Flash."
>"And the most important rule of thumb for an aspiring casanova like you is..."
>Before he has a chance to finish, Pinkie's smacked him upside the head
>"Ow! What the hell?"
>Pinkie: "Nonny, will you come with me please?"
"Yeah..."
>You leave Flash behind to fix his haircut
>Pinkie whirls around to face you when you've gotten a reasonable distance away
>"What do you think you're doing?"
"Getting advice?"
>"From that!?"
>She points at Flash, who appears to be harassing Sunset Shimmer 
"Yeah. Is that bad?"
>Pinkie grabs the front of your shirt and pulls you close to her
>"Nonny, you have a good thing going here, if you fuck this up I'll skin you alive."
"..."
>"Promise me that you'll just be yourself."
"I promise."
>"Pinkie Promise?"
>You put your pinkie into the air
"I Pinkie Promise."

>As much of a party girl as she is, you wouldn't put it past her to take a bowie knife to your throat
>And she has a point, Rainbow Dash picked you over the assholes like Flash
>Maybe just acting like yourself would be the best move
>Oh lawdy, if acting like a basement dwelling social autist is enough to win over Dash, this school is fucked
>The final bell releases everyone from their torment and you head to your locker to drop off you books
>After punching in the combo, you sling your backpack into it and slam the door shut
>Behind it, is Rainbow Dash
>"Hey Anon."
>Her sudden presence makes you remember vividly why you're uncomfortable around females
>You rub the back of your neck and address the locker next to her
"Hey Rainbow Dash."
>"You can just call me Dash, Anon."
"Alright then Dash..."
>Each of you stand there awkwardly for a moment
>You think about the talk you had with Pinkie
"So...do you want to go somewhere to get a bite to eat?"
>"Sure, I could eat, where did you have in mind?"
>Oh boy! It's the argument that the internet warned you about!
"I don't know, let's just walk and see where our feet take us."
>Part of you worries that you might have sounded too poetic, but it worked
>She falls in next to you as you try to confidently make your way to the front door
>Your confidence starts to escape you as your classmates start shooting you funny looks
>Their faces are easy enough to read
>Why the hell is Rainbow Dash walking with Anon, the social outcast?
>They have a point
>As you hold the door open for Dash, you hope that you aren't getting in over your head

>Side by side, you and Dash walk toward the side walk that surrounds CHS
>Dash walks quickly, and you increase your pace to keep up with her
>As she walks past the horse statue in front of the school, you notice her eyes linger on it longer than necessary
>Whatever
>Remember the plan Anon, find somewhere to eat food
>You and her keep up a good pace walking along Canterlot's Main Street
"How about Sugarcube corner?"
>You point at the Cake's sweet shop a block ahead
>"Nah, I go there all the time, let's go somewhere off the grid."
>You were about as on the grid as it went when it came to doing anything
>But Dash wanted somewhere different
"I actually have an idea. Follow me."
>You jog across the street to the bus stop, where a bus in conveniently loading up
>You show your student ID and take a seat
>Dash follows you close behind and sits next to you
>There are a lot of empty seats, but she choose to sit with you
>Feels good man
>"So where are we going?"
"I know a place I think you'll like. It's not far, but the traffic sucks."
>"Cool, whatever."
>Silence relapses and you check your phone to pass the time
>No texts, no calls
>Sometimes you can feel really lonely living in a bubble
>You look over at Dash, who's mildly headbanging to the song playing over the bus's radio
>She was pretty cool, no doubt about it
>All you had to do was not goof it up
"This is our stop."
>You exit the bus and look at the storefront you had in mind
>Next to you, Dash gives her own look of approval
>"Canterlot Ale House huh?"
>She gives you a friendly lovetap on the shoulder
>"Good choice, too bad we're not old enough to drink."

>The idea of degenerate piss water going down your throat almost makes you gag
>You sincerely hope she's not serious
>You're up for trying new things, but after last time...
>Nope nope nope
>Dash is already inside before you've finished with your thoughts
>You follow her into the dimply lit restaurant
>By the door, she's dealing with the host
>"We need a table for two."
>"Two? Alright, follow me."
>He takes a pair of menus and heads toward the back of the place
>Most of the room is dominated by the bar
>And since you and Dash got here before rush hour, there's literally nobody else in the whole place
>You and Dash are shown to a table in a secluded corner
>Off on your own, you start to fell a little more comfortable
>"Your waiter will be with you soon."
>The host guy leaves you and Dash alone with the menus
>She looks around the place, seemingly impressed
"Have you ever been here before?"
>"No, but I like it, it's pretty cool."
>Her eyes stop on the jukebox by the bar
>"YES! Do you have some change?"
>You fish out everything you have from your pocket and give it to her
>"Sweet! Give me a second."
>Dash weaves through the restaurant to the jukebox
>You do your best to check her out from behind
>Man, she really is gorgeous, too bad you were a plain old schmuck
>Her choice of music starts to blast across the restaurant
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yFHg0uRAyVs
>As she slides back into the chair across from you, you appreciate her taste in music
"Good choice."
>"I'm glad you like it. What else do you listen to?"
>Here you go Anon, it's time to get to know each other
>You take a breathe before you start

>And get immediately cut off by the waitress
>"Hey guys, I'm blah blah blah, the specials today are blah blah blah, and blah blah blah..."
>God dammit
>You were about to give Dash your life story
>Wait, maybe you should thank the waitress for cutting you off
>Your life story isn't exactly an Epic
>"So, can I start you guys off with some drinks?"
>Dash: "I'll have a water."
"Same."
>"Ok. I'll give you guys a minute to look at the menu."
>She leaves the two of you alone again
>You look down at the menu
>"So...you were telling me about what music you like."
"I guess I'm a fan of alternative and classic rock."
>"Hard rock man, that's the shit."
>She resumes her head banging, this time accompanied by air guitar
>You have to admit, Dash is freaking adorable
>Maybe it's because you have a thing for tomboys
>"So like, what do you do?"
"As a job?"
>"Yeah man, what do you do?"
"Currently, I'm unemployed."
>"Ok, then what DID you do?"
>You still have nightmares about how shitty your old job was
"I worked for my dad as a landscaper."
>"That's pretty cool, do you enjoy being outside?"
"Only when mother nature isn't being an asshole."
>Dash nods, agreeing wholeheartedly
>"I feel ya man, I hate it when the weather sucks."
"So do you have a job?"

>The song changes as she starts talking
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HPkTGm4RtVM
>"I work at the gas station down the road."
"Cash register?"
>She looks miserably at the floor
>"Yeah..."
"Night shift too I bet."
>She looks at you dead in the eyes
>"Yeah, how did you know?"
"I've seen the miserable stare of those who work nights before."
>Apparently she didn't expect you to sympathize
"That's why you go outside as much as possible huh?"
>"Hell yeah. I love being outdoors too."
"What do you like doing the most? I'm partial to biking myself."
>Her eyes brighten up at this
>"Dude, I love biking! We should totally go on a bike ride sometime!"
"Well, Pinkie did say that we should get to know each other."
>"Hell yeah man, we should totally make a big thing out of it. Like...a bike riding campout!"
>A bike trek in the woods with Rainbow Dash?
>Sharing a tent after a long sweaty bike ride?
>Tucker: "Bow chicka bow wow"
"That sounds awesome actually, we should definitely do it."
>The waitress returns as you bask in your victory
>"You guys ready to order?"
>Dash: "I'll have a double order of hot wings."
>Damn you were going to get a sandwich
>Wasn't Dash supposed to be an athletic health nut
>Now, Dash gives you a strange, challenging look
>Challenge accepted
"I'll have the same, Barbecue."
>"Sure thing, it'll be a few minutes."
"No rush."

>You and Dash shoot the breeze while you wait
>Somehow, someway, you aren't uncomfortable
>Dash is super chill and easy to get along with, probably because she doesn't act like a typical chick
>In fact, you have a burping contest at one point
>Finally, the waitress returns with two heaping platters of steaming wings
>"Here you kids go. Enjoy!"
>You and Dash share a look over the mountain of meat in between you
"Dis gun be gud."

>20 minutes later
>You might be about to die, you aren't quite sure
>Dash sure looks like you feel, except more content
>"That was awesome."
"Ugh."
>You've always been good at eating wings, but you never raced somebody who was better
>Dash goes back to looking around the restaurant
>"Dude! They have a poolroom!"
>Pool? Yeah, let's go move around a whole bunch, great plan Dash
>"Lets go play a couple games!"
>Who are you kidding Anon, you can't say no to that face
"Yeah sure, let me just pay the bill."
>You leave 60 bucks
>Usually you don't tip 100 percent, but you're in a great fucking mood for a change
>Leaving the cash on the table, you follow Dash back to the pool room, where shes already racking up the balls
>She tosses a stick to you
>"You first."
>You smirk to yourself as you go around the table to break
>Dash might be good at being fast, but pool isn't about speed
"Watch and learn Dash."

>Suffice to say, Dash gets btfo mercilessly
>In fact, she only gets to go one time
>And then, on your second to last shot, you pocket the eight ball
>Like you always do
"Fuck."
>You lean your head against your pool cue as Dash laughs
>"Looks like I win man, better luck next time huh?"
"I'm glad to hear that there's gonna be a 'next time'."
>She goes to rubbing her arm
>"Of course man, I'm having a lot of fun."
"Me too."
>"We should probably leave though, I've got to get to work soon."
>Oh right, she works night shift
>You lead the way out the restaurant, Dash follows you
"So, when do you want to do that bike thing?"
>"We could leave tomorrow night if you want. We have Monday off from school."
>You weren't expecting the date to be so soon
>But then again, you are an unemployed shithead with nothing to do
"That's cool, I'll get my stuff together tomorrow then."
>You stand next to Dash outside the door to the restaurant
>The sun is about to start going down
>"Well, I'll catch you later then."
"Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow."
>For one moment, you think that Dash is about to lean in
>Instead, she seems to change her mind and gives you a playful punch in the shoulder
>Then she turns to walk away
>You watch her go, feeling incredibly happy with the world
>Just this morning, you were actually looking forward to staying in bed during prom
>Now, you were not only taking the best looking athlete in school, but you were also taking her into the woods for a campout
"You done good Anon."
>You turn to walk home

>Hours later, you find yourself in bed, staring at the ceiling
>You've never been a stranger to sleepless nights, but usually it's because of guilt or anxiety
>Tonight was different
>You only had one thing on your mind
>Rainbow Dash
>Face it Anon, you've only known her a day and you already miss her
>You feel giddy, like you need to get up and move around
>The alarm clock next to you says 2:00 AM
"Fuck it."
>You throw the covers off yourself and put on some clothes
>If Dash works night shift, she's gotta be fucking bored as hell
>Maybe seeing a friend would cheer her up
>You tromp down the stairs and see your dad in the living room
>He's eating cereal and watching a re-run of The Twilight Zone
>"Where are you going at this time of night?"
"My dealer called, he has my drugs."
>You receive a skeptical look
>"Alright wise ass, where are you really going?"
"I'm going to visit a lady friend."
>"What did I say about being a wise ass?"
"I'm serious, I'm going to see a girl."
>"Mmm hmm."
>You roll your eyes and put on your jacket
>"Just be back before sunrise. Ya'hear?"
"Yeah, I'll see you later."
>You pick up the keys to your pickup and close the door
>The morning fog swirls around you as you walk to your truck, purpose in your heart for a change

>Since Dash didn't tell you which gas station she worked at, you don't know where to go
>At least she was specific enough to mention Main Street
>To main street you go, high beams blazing and the radio thumping
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ec0XKhAHR5I
>You tap your hand on the exterior of the truck as you drive with the windows rolled down
>The cool wind feels great
>Felling optimistic and happy, you could get used to this
>You spot the gas station you had in mind and pull in, parking next to the pumps
>There aren't any other cars in the parking lot, and you worry you're in the wrong place
>Then you notice the black mountain bike chained to the bike rack by the door
>You take a close look at it before you go in
>It's heavily customized, shocks, seat, pedals, the works
>You see the initials RD carved into the frame
>This must be her bike
>You're actually pretty impressed, it reminds you of the bike you have
>Although, hers is admittedly in much better condition
>The piece of shit you ride could fall apart any day now
>You turn away from the bike and open the door
>The overhead bell chimes and you look around
>Nobody appears to be working the register
>No one is stocking shelves
>The bathroom is unoccupied
"Hello?"
>The only noise that greets you is a faint, wet drawl
>Almost like snoring
>You walk closer to the register and look over the counter
>There she is, Rainbow Dash, taking a nap in the fold out chair behind the cash register
>You have to admire her laziness and pity her tiredness at the same time

>She looks cute as a button with her Rainbow hair spilling out from under her Pony X-press baseball cap
>You don't have the heart to rouse her from her nap
>Instead, you go and get a bottle of iced tea from the drinks section
>You crack it open, walk behind the counter, and pull up a chair next to her
>At least you'll be here if somebody else walks in
>Half an hour passes, nobody comes in
>Rainbow Dash snoozes on
>This must be her normal thing if nobody ever gets gas at 2:30 in the morning
>You silently curse the asshole who assigned her this shift
>"FUCKING SHIT!"
>Suddenly, she wakes up, throwing herself to the counter
>She looks around, expecting a customer
>When she sees that there are none, she yawns and walks around the counter to the bathroom
>You sit quietly, she didn't even see you
>Her hat fell off when she jumped
>Grinning like an evil genius, you put it on
>And you wait
>Hopefully, she didn't fall asleep in the bathroom
>The sound of the toilet flushing says no
>As the bathroom door opens, you stand at attention next to the register
>Dash stops, having seen you
>Her face is priceless
>Shock, confusion, and a sleep deprived stare
"Hello m'lady, welcome to Pony X-press, how can I help you today?"

>You tip your hat for the added effect
>She looks at you, then the door, then the bathroom
>Finally, she gropes in the air above her head, expecting her hat to be there
>You beam a shit eating grin across the room at her
>And thank the lord, she returns it
>"How did you do that?"
"Swag."
>Her shit eating grin turns to shit eating exasperation 
"You're a heavy sleeper."
>Again, she yawns widely
>"Tell me about it."
>Dash walks around the counter again and sits back down in the chair
>"Why are you here?"
"I couldn't sleep."
>"I wish I had that problem. But why come out here?"
>Oh fuck, she knows
>She knows that you miss her
>Quick Anon, do something to come off as less desperate
"I came for a drink."
>You wave the empty tea bottle at her
>"A drink huh? Well let me scan that, otherwise they'll think I stole it."
>You put a dollar on the counter as she rings up the empty bottle
>"My shift is done at 3:00, so you can leave if you want, I don't expect you to hang around."
"I don't mind, misery loves company right?"
>She sits back down with a contemptible look around the store
>"You can say that again."
>Her face makes you sad
"Hey, at least you have a kickass bike trip to look forward to."

>"Hell yeah I do!"
>She offers you a high five, and you take it
>Her hand is rough to the touch
>Probably a side effect of going outside and doing something with her life
>God knows your own hands are as callused as rocks from spreading mulch for years
>You and Dash settle in and talk for the last 20 minutes of her shift
>When the clock hits 3:00, she throws her hat into the back room and messes up her hair
>"Man, that feels so much better."
"Are you riding home in the dark?"
>"Well, yeah..."
"Fuck that, put your bike in the back of my truck, I'll drop you off."
>She looks like she wants to argue, but yet another yawn cuts her off
>"Yeah fine."
>You hold the door open for her and watch her open up her bike lock
>When it's undone, you carefully put the bike in the bed of your truck 
>Dash is already in the truck, fiddling with the radio
>You pry open the driver's side door and climb in
>As you put it in drive, Dash finds the station she's looking for
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O6ffmunRjjI
>Your eardrums almost explode instantly
>One hand on the wheel, you turn it down a bit
>"Sorry man, I'm just trying to stay awake."
"It's cool, do you want to stop for some coffee?"
>"Naw, I've got some pop at home."
>She yawns and snuggles into the seat a bit more
>"It's too bad that I've still got homework to do."
"Do you want me to come over and help?"
>Dash seems to think it over for a bit
>"Are you good at writing?"
"Reasonably."
>"Sure, you can help me out."

>You breath a sigh of relief that you didn't come off as too eager
>Not that you have any lewd intentions, but she must be used to guys creeping on her
>"I live by the river, other side of town."
"The apartments?"
>"Yeah."
"Alrighty then."
>Since it's late, you go faster than usual
>You narrowly avoid a couple speed traps on the way
>Cops love lurking on Friday night too, it seems
>Dash dozes of in the passenger seat along the way, and you continue your progress to her apartment
>Being with a girl, doing something on a Friday night, you still feel pretty great
>Funny how live can suddenly jump the shark
>In this case, it was a pretty good jump
>You pull up to the apartments near the industrial part of Canterlot
>After parallel parking by the entrance, you poke Dash in the shoulder
"Dash, we're here."
>She cracks open a blurry eye
>"Carry me."
"Pardon?"
>"I don't want to walk up. Carry me."
>Is this nigga serious?
>You get out and walk to her side of the truck
>The door sticks a little and you wrench it open
>Before she can protest, you scoop her up in a fireman's lift
"Rainbow dash, you are a the laziest athlete I've ever met."
>She gives a sleepy chuckle into the fabric of your jacket
>With one hand, you open the tailgate and slide her bike out
>Pulling the bike with one hand and carrying her with the other is hard, but you're a man dammit
>Lucky for you she's pretty light
>In the lobby, you spot the mailboxes and crane your neck to see which is hers
>Your heart plummets when you see 'Dash' next to the top floor
"We're taking the elevator."

>The buttons are hard to hit with no hand, so you use your foot
>It worked, and the doors open
>Some dude in a janitors uniform steps out, looking at you suspiciously
>Oh yeah, you have a bike in one hand and a girl over your shoulder
"How's it going?"
>Janitor: "What are you doing?"
>You feel Dash's head turn against your back
>RD: "It's cool Sparky, Anon's just being a bro."
>He seems to accept this and leaves
>You get into the elevator with Dash, who gains the strength to swing down to her feet
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VBlFHuCzPgY
>"Sorry about that."
"Meh."
>"You aren't mad are you?"
"Of course not."
>"By the way, thanks for the ride over."
"It's no trouble, it's not like I have a curfew or anything."
>The elevator opens on the top floor and Dash takes the bike from you
>You follow her to one of the apartments at the end of the hall
>She digs out a key and opens the door, revealing a messy apartment
>It reminds you of your own room back home
"Is it just you here?"
>"Yeah, my parents are out west most of the time, so they pay for my rent to stay here."
>Man, you wish you had a free place to stay by yourself
>"So...if you don't want to stay for the homework stuff, that's fine."
"Absolutely not, break it out, let's do this."
>You park your ass at the dining room table
>Dash goes to what you assume is her room and returns with a backpack
>She literally dumps its entire contents out in front of you
>"I have a paper due Monday, and I don't have anyone to proofread it."
>You rub your hands together
"Reading is my specialty."

>You'd been around the block as far as literature went
>The good and the bad had graced your eyes
>And now your eyes want to fucking vomit all over the swill in front of them
>You read through Dash's paper slowly and deliberately as she nods off across from you
>This was worse than Fifty Shades
>This was worse than the navy seal copypasta
>This was worse than the shittiest greentext you've ever seen
"Hey Dash?"
>She stirs and looks at you
>"How does it look?"
>It looks like you should stick to sports
"I have a couple suggestions for you."
>You stand up and walk around to her side of the table
>With the paper in front of her, you start to show her everything you thought she should change
>Just about everything needed to be changed though
"Look, just make the corrections that I put down, and you'll probably be all set."
>"This is a lot of corrections."
"Well, yeah..."
>"Is it really that bad?"
>You don't want to hurt her feelings
"There's room for improvement, and I'm willing to help with that."
>She thinks it over
>"Alright, I appreciate it Anon. So I just re-write it like you have it?"
>She looks at the paper again
>Red ink is everywhere on it
"Yeah. Just take your time. I'm gonna lie down for a while."
>Her wall clock says that it's almost 5:00 AM
>Even for you, this is a late night
>You walk over to the couch, lie down, and shut your eyes
>The sound of a pen scratching on paper reverberates around the room

>When you wake up, it takes you a moment to find out what's going on
>Then you remember the sequence of events that led you to this place
>Dash isn't at the table anymore, and it's still pretty dark
>You look around the room to see what the deal is
>"Hey Anon."
>You turn quickly to the voice and see Dash standing above your head
>She looks oddly flustered
"Hey Dash, how'd the writing go?"
>"Pretty good, I think I'll be all set come Monday."
"That's great."
>You shut your eyes and rub them
>"Anon, I really need to thank you for doing this."
>You wave her off with a sleepy hand
"Don't mention it, consider it a favor for going to prom with me."
>"No Anon, I mean I really need to reward you for this."
>You open one eye to look up at her
>This time, she really IS leaning in
>Before your brain even has a chance to process what is happening, you feel her lips on yours
>They're soft, and taste like lip balm
>She breaks away after a moment
>You can only look up at her in shock
"Dash..." 
>"Don't talk Anon, just relax."
>She walks around to the mid section of the couch and sits down next to you
>"You're a great guy Anon, really..."
>Her hand starts making its way to the tent in your pants
>You don't panic, which is odd because you usually panic when you're coherent
>"Consider this a favor from one friend to another."

>"Anon wake up."
>You sit bolt upright, torn from the wonderful dream like a leech from a vein
>In a panic, you look around and see that sunlight is filling up Dash's apartment
>The wall clock now says it's almost noon
>Dash herself is stood next to you holding a plate with toast on it
>"You hungry?"
>You nod, mouth too dry to justify talking
>"I put a blanket on you last night after you fell asleep."
>Thank god, because you have a SERIOUS case of morning wood
>"How'd you sleep?"
"Like a baby. Yourself?"
>"Pretty good man, after I finished re-writing that paper I took another nap right at the table."
"Oh?"
>"Are you alight?"
>True be told, you're not sure if you're happy as hell or fucking terrified
>Probably both
"I'm good."
>"Well, we've got to get ready for the trip today. So eat up and let's head out."
"Roger that."
>She goes back to the kitchen and you check your phone
>1 new message from dad
>[God dammit Anon. I told you to be home before sunrise. If you make my a grandfather this early I will skin you alive]
[Get in line]
>You close your phone and laugh
>Today was going to be a glorious day, hopefully
>You rub the crust from your eyes and finish eating the toast

>You and Dash occupy the truck again
>Most of her essentials are in the back, along with her bike
>You, however, need to go home to get your crap
"My Dad is going to kill me."
>"Why is that?"
"I never came home last night."
>"Didn't you say you don't have a curfew?"
"Only because I'm always home on time."
>"Don't worry about it, I'm sure I can take him if things get messy."
>You laugh as she feigns punching the air in front of her
"I don't think that'll be necessary. Now, what did you say you needed to pick up?"
>She looks at the hastily drawn list in her hand
>"A new tent, a backpack, and a helmet."
>Too bad you couldn't have given her the tent you had this morning
"Where did you want to go to get that stuff?"
>"I was thinking about Canterlot Sporting Goods."
"Fuck that, I know a place that's crazy cheap with better stuff."
>"Ok, are we going there first?"
"I just need to get my camping gear at home. Then we can head over."
>Your driveway looms ahead, and you actually wonder if your Dad is going to be pissed at you
"Do you want to stay in the truck?"
>"Nah, you got to see my place, now I get to see yours."
>Fair enough
>You park by your Dad's pickup, which is much shinier than yours
>Dash and you get out and you walk into the garage to go inside
"Here we are."
>Dash following behind, you lead the way into the house
>"Whose there?"
"It's me Dad."
>Apparently he slept in the living room like he usually does
>Now, he looks at you, then at Dash
>"You weren't fucking lying."

>You silently thank god that your Dad slept with pants on
>Dash walks forward and shakes his hand
>"Its a pleasure to meet you, Mr...?"
>Dad: "Incognito."
>He returns the handshake while giving you a look of disbelief
>Dash: "Hey Anon, do you mind if I use the bathroom?"
"Knock yourself out, it's the third door down the hallway."
>Dash: "Thanks."
>When she leaves, your Dad grabs your shoulders and starts laughing his ass off
>"Boy, I didn't think you had it in you."
"Neither did I."
>"Hold on a minute, I've got something to give you to celebrate."
>He leaves to go upstairs and you're left alone in the living room
>Dash returns after a minute
>"So where's your gear at?"
"Follow me."
>Back in the garage, you pull back the tarp that covers your camping equipment
>Dust billows up in clouds, it's been a while since you used it
>"Geez Anon, it looks like you're ready for an apocalypse."
>She nudges the edge of your machete with her boot
"Nah, this is all from when I went camping as a kid."
>"Does it all still work?"
"It should, we bought American made crap."
>You heft up your old rucksack
"BSA brand shit lasts forever."
>After a short amount of packing, you throw your equipment in the truck next to Dash's bike
>Followed by your own, slightly more haggard bike
>Your Dad walks out of the house with something behind his back
>"You guys going camping?"
"Just for the weekend, we'll be back by Monday."
>He gives you a hug and you feel him slide something into the inside pocket of your hoodie
>"Have fun!"
>Dash: "We will! It was nice meeting you Mr. Incognito!"
>You hit the road again and Dash starts her routine of head banging air guitar from the radio
>At an intersection, you take a glance at the box in your pocket
>Condoms

>That scheming bastard
>Many times he had tried to get you to go out and do something with your life
>It got to the point where he almost started encouraging reckless behavior
>So this sort of shit doesn't really surprise you all that much 
"So Dash, you need a tent and what else?"
>"Backpack and helmet."
"Let's go to the place I had in mind then."
>"And where is that?"
>You let out a chuckle as you imagine her reaction
"I think you'll like it, hell, maybe you've been there before."
>Scheming must run in the family
>When you turn onto the side road that houses your destination, you point out the store to Dash
"There she is."
>Canterlot Military Surplus
>Out front, some poor bastard in a gillie suit is spinning a sign showing that they're having a sale
>"Dude..."
>You wait for her to say something
>She puts a hand on your shoulder as you park in front of the store
>"This is awesome."
>You share a grin with her before she practically bolts to the front door out of eagerness
>Once inside, she's like a kid in a candy shop
>You walk up and down the aisles, casually looking at the wet dreams of every anarchist, while Dash looks at backpacks 
>You come across the tents and pick up a single man tent that would work out well for her
>"How does this look Anon?"
>You turn around to see Rainbow Dash sporting a beret and a large black backpack
>And also saluting you
>So much unf
"Looks good, but I'd say the headgear is unfit for a bike trip."
>"Is that my tent?"
>You hold it out to her as she puts the beret back down on a shelf
"Yep, it's cheap and sturdy, just like I said."
>"Cool, let's go buy this shit."

>Dash leads the way to the front of the store and gets in line behind some middle schoolers
>The cashier is trying to shoo them away
>His nametag says Shrapnel
>"None of you are adults, so no, you cannot buy any knives, now please leave."
>He points to the door, and the kids reluctantly leave
>You used to be one of those kids
>Thank god you grew up a little
>Dash heaps her purchases on the counter and puts an elbow down
>"So like...what's the secret knock?"
>Shrapnel: "What?"
>"Ya know, what's the code word to see the real goods?"
>She gives him the raised eyebrow treatment
>You can't help but think how lucky Dash is that she's adorable
>Shrapnel: "Are you serious?"
>"Yeah man."
>You can't actually tell if she is or not
>Shrapnel looks at you, and you look at him
>Shrapnel: "Alright."
>He presses a button under the counter, and the whole fucking wall behind him rotates
>Guns, lots of fucking guns
>Dash's eyes light up like she's seen Christmas morning.
>You just facepalm behind her
>Her first time in the surplus store and she managed to find out how to buy illegal guns
>"That's awesome."
>Shrapnel: "Want to take a closer look?"
"Dash..."
>"Um, not now, I just need to buy this stuff here."
>Shrapnel closes the wall and scans her tent and bag
>After she's paid, you leave with her and toss her stuff on the mountain of shit in your truck
>She looks at you with her adorable grin
>Her antics are really starting to grow on you

"You said that you needed a bike helmet too, right?"
>"Yeah, too bad I couldn't get one here."
>Her eyes go back to the store
>Apparently she didn't notice that they sell helmets by the crateload inside
"How about we go and see the bike store so you can pick one out?"
>You point across the street to the local bike store
>"Yeah, alright."
>In a spur of the moment decision, you decide to have your own bike looked at
>It would really suck if if fell apart when you were 10 or more miles from home
>Dash holds the door open for you this time as you wheel the bike in through it
>Behind the counter, the clerk wipes some grease off her hands and looks at the bike
>Her nametag says Scootaloo
>"Tune up?"
"Yeah."
>Christ, this girls looks like a sophmore at most
>"Bring it back here."
>You follow her to the back room and she puts the bike up on a stand
>With you watching, she does a few tests on the wheels and gear chain
>"Well shit."
"What?"
>"Both of your tubes are shot, and your chain's rusted to hell. This sucker's on it's last legs."
"What does that mean?"
>"It means that unless you get it fixed, you'll end up stuck in the middle of nowhere with a broken bike."
>In your minds eye you have a strangely realistic vision of yourself smashing you useless bike against a tree
>And then hitch hiking home so that you could spend the day writing
"Just fix it please."
>"Sure thing, it'll be a few minutes."
"Take your time."

>Leaving her to her trade, you go back out to the main store
>Dash is by the biking apparel, holding a plain black helmet
"I guess I expected you to get a rainbow one."
>"Nah man, I've already got the rainbow thing down."
>She swings her hair back
>"Black's just my favorite color."
"You make that sound like a metaphor or something."
>"What do you mean?"
"I don't know, Rainbow Dash liking the color black over everything else..."
>You shrug
"It's kind of poetic."
>She laughs and shakes her head
>"Anon the English professor. How about you help me pick out some new bike shorts?"
>She points at the padded spandex short shorts lining the wall in front of her
>Your mind pictures her in them all
>Oh yes, this is going to be an excellent trip
"Like, you want me to choose what you wear?"
>"Do you have a preference?"
>You tug at your collar, suddenly sweaty
"Um...what do you mean by preference?"
>She starts sorting through the rows of shorts
>"I read somewhere that guys can lift more if a girl sits in their lap."
>Oh shit
>"So I figure you'll have an easier time catching me if you have something worth chasing."
>She wiggles her rump at you
>You pinch your leg to see if you actually hadn't woken up yet
>With a pained grimace, you know that you are indeed awake
>She turns to you, shit eating grin at the ready
>"Gotcha."
"Oh Dash, you're such a dreadful tease."
>A tap on your shoulder distracts you
>Scootaloo: "Here's your bike."

"Jeez, you work fast. How much?"
>"40 bucks."
>Corporate thievery, selling you shit and making you pay to fix it
>You gladly hand over the money at the counter while Dash buys her helmet and some new shorts
>RD: "Hey Scoots, how's it going?"
>The clerk suddenly starts acting a lot different
>Kind of like a kid who's trying to impress somebody
>Scootaloo: "Sup Dash? You guys going biking or something?"
>RD: "Yeah, Anon and I are taking a trek for the weekend."
>Scootaloo: "Here, take these."
>She brings out an industrial size box of Clif Bars
>Oh fuck yes
>Scootaloo: "We were gonna toss them tomorrow anyway."
>Suddenly you don't feel upset at having to pay 40 bucks to fix your bike
>RD: "Scootaloo, you're awesome!"
>This response triggers the kid, who goes from aloof to ecstatic in an instant
>As you exit with your bike and the granola bars, you wave over your shoulder to Scootaloo
"Pretty cool kid."
>"Dude, she's a whiz with bikes."
>You feel the tires on your bike, they seem a lot sturdier than they had been
"Agreed."
>Finally, after spending the whole day getting ready, you and Dash are ready to hit the road
>You get in the cab with her and she plugs her cassette adapter into the dashboard
>"How long til we get there?"
"Canterlot State Park is 2 hours away."
>Dash hits play on her phone
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G9VSGPmkUc0
>"Hit the gas wiener boy."
>You shift into drive and pull out onto the road as Dash starts air guitaring next to you

>You go through all of her good songs
>And then all of yours
>Boredom usually would set in, but you actually feel engaged
>Maybe it's the present company
>Maybe it's the promise of adventure
>Whatever had gotten into you lately, you wanted more of it
>You felt alive, rejuvenated, awake
>Speaking of being awake...
>Dash is taking some time to nap against the window
>Your own window is open, since the AC doesn't work in your truck
>The GPS on your phone let's you know that you're getting close to the campgrounds
"Dash, we're almost there."
>She jerks awake with a start
>You need a better system for waking her up
>She rubs her eyes and checks the GPS
>"Half a mile huh? How long was I asleep?"
"An hour or so."
>Her back cracks as she stretches, exposing her midriff to you
>"I see the sign."
>On the left side of the road, you see a sign indicating parking for the camp ground, and pull in
>The ranger station has a sign for all cars to get registered beforehand
"You want to get the gear out while I check in?"
>"Alright."
>You push open the door for the office and go inside
>A park ranger with dreads greets you
>"Sup man."
"I'm here to register my truck for parking."
>"How many days?"
"Two."
>She gives you a ticket and a receipt for the transaction
>"Enjoy nature man."

>To your surprise, Dash already has the truck unloaded in the one minute it took you to get the ticket
"I wasn't expecting you to be done already."
>Dash rolls up her sleeve and flexes a muscle at you
"Damn son, put the guns away, there's children here."
>"Come on man, let's get changed and hit the trail."
>She seems incredibly eager to get moving
>You pick up the rucksack that holds your clothes and walk to the bathroom with Dash next to you
>Once inside the men's, you pause to allow your nose to adjust to the rank stench of campground bathrooms
>The stalls are horrendous, so you suck it up and change by the showers
>Tank top, bike shorts of your own, cargo shorts on top, and hiking sneakers
>You give yourself a look over in the mirror
>Not too shabby, you still remember when you had to wear double extra large shirts everywhere
>Biking everyday really helped fix that shit
>You stride out the door of the bathroom to get your backpack and gear
>Actually, before you leave, you toss the box of condoms in the trash
>You keep two, just in case your luck changes, and stuff them in your sock bag
>Dash is already sitting on her bike waiting for you
>She went all out as well
>Bike shorts, gloves, knee high socks, and her usual jacket
>There simply isn't enough unf in the world to describe how you feel at the sight of her
>She was right, you definitely will be chasing her with ease
>You watch her stretch out her legs from atop the bike
>Yeah, you'd pedal to the moon to keep up with her
>With your backpack slung across your back, you line up next to her, ready to go
"All set?"
>"You bet!"
"You want to lead?"
>"Of course!"
"Let's get moving then."

>She hauls ass to the path exiting the parking lot
>As she crests the rise that goes down into the valley, you take a deep breath and start pumping to catch her
>Luckily for you, all the biking you'd done had given you tree trucks for legs
>Too bad you were born with the lungs of a chain smoker
>Usually they cancel each other out and allow you to go at a good pace
>But Dash was right
>Watching her windmill down the hill in tight ass bike shorts caused quite the rush in you
>The wind cut through your fresh buzz cut, the smell of the woods around fills your nostrils
>As you pick up speed, you feel the rush of adrenaline that only accompanies biking
"YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH!"
>You roar in euphoric pleasure, feeling fulfilled beyond words
>10 yards ahead, Dash does the same
>"TOTALLY AWESOME!"
>As you follow her around tight corners and around trees, you know that this is what you live for
>Thank god that you got inspired to get the fuck out of your basement
>"Anon, this is great!"
"I know!"
>You'd like to ride next to her, but the trail is too narrow
>In fact, the signs you pass say that backpackers need to step aside for any and all bikes
>There are a few people hiking, and you nod at them as you go by
>The sun beats down on your back and neck, and you start to sweat a bit
>From the sheen on Dash's legs, it looks like she's pretty hot as well
>You chase her relentlessly as she picks up speed through the forest
>"Anon! Hole up ahead!"
>You look around her and see a rabbit hole in the middle of the path
>Dash goes around it, treads biting the dirt
>When you approach it, you yank your handlebars up and do a momentary wheelie over it
>Your back tire hits it pretty rough, and your bike seat slams into your nuts
>Good thing you have padded bike shorts

>"You still doing good back there?"
>You're nuts give a throb from their endevour with the rabbithole
"I'm great!"
>Hopefully she didn't notice your voice gone up an octave or two
>"Good, cause we're speeding up!"
>Somehow she summons the strength to go faster, uphill no less
>You grit your teeth and shift to a higher gear, determined not to lose her
>Up the hill you go, now at least 2 miles into the ride
>The hiking app on your phone told you that this trail was just over 80 miles
>At this pace, you'd be done before by Sunday morning
>At the top of the hill, you see Dash pull over into an opening in the trees
>You slam on your brakes next to her
"What's up?"
>"Water."
>The pair of you take a moment to chug down some water
>"Want to take the lead now?"
"Hell yeah, let's go."

>So it goes for a few hours, you and Dash flying through the undergrowth
>Occasionally stopping for water and switching who leads
>Less and less backpackers are seen, and soon you and Dash and alone together in the heart of the forest
>"Hey Anon, look right!"
>From behind her, you take a look to the right, and see a gigantic lake surrounded by trees
>The beach actually has sand, and there's plenty of space 
>"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
>You look at your watch and see that it' a little after 6:00 PM
>It's late enough to justify stopping
"You want to set up camp here for the night?"
>"Hell yeah man, lets go for a swim!"
>Dash, swimming, campfire, tents
>This shit's about to get real good for you 
>You follow Dash's lead and veer right through the brush to the beach
>After finding a reasonable tree, you chin the bikes together and heap the camping gear in a pile
"You want to swim first or set up camp?"
>"Camp first, swim second."
"Alright."

>For a novice camper, she gets her tent set up pretty fast
>You put your's across from her with the fire pit in between
>A ring of rocks is usually what you use, and soon you have a reasonable campsite set up
>"Hey Anon, do you think you could get some wood for me?"
>You look up from unpacking your bag
"Yeah, no problem."
>You start walking to the woods and look back at her
"Hey Dash?"
>She gives you a quizzical look while unpacking her own bag
>You point a finger pistol at her
"Phrasing."
>Her laughter follows you to the woods, and you busy yourself loading dry wood into your arms
>This was fun so far
>Dash was pretty much a bro, and you didn't feel at all uncomfortable in her presence
>You were in your element, nature
>Life is good
>When you return to the campsite, Dash is in her tent
>You toss the wood next to the fire and sit down on a log to rest
>A rustle behind you lets you know that Dash is outside her tent
>You turn around and freeze
>She's in a sports bra and short shorts
>"How about that swim?"
>Mind going blank, you strip off your shoes and shirt
"I'm assuming it'll be a race?"
>"Of course."
"On three?"
>"One."
"Two."
>"Three."
"Three."
>You each turn and sprint to the water, her with a slight lead
>At this rate, you'll be an assman by the end of the trip
>She dives in first, splashing you as you follow
>Yeah, life is definitely good

>Halfway across the lake, you remember why you never swam much
>Asthmatics usually have a hard time of it
>As do those who suffer from thalassophobia
>You're only a few feet behind her when you hit the opposite shore and turn around
>But she's toned for swimming, being limber and smaller than you
>When you make to turn around you lose her by a few more feet
>Arms tired, you pause for a moment to float and rest
>Under the water, you open your eyes to look down
>Big fucking mistake
>Infinite, raging, inky, endless, yawning, unknown, blackness
>In that moment, halfway across the lake, you lose your shit
>The inhuman scream that comes from you is inaudible under the water
>Bubbles erupt from your throat as you find strength you didn't know you had
>Arms windmilling like pistons, you fly as fast as your panicking legs will take you
>It takes forever to escape the lake, but you manage to do it
>You slump over on the beach, dead tired from the exertion it took you to flee
>Your breathing slowly comes under control
>"I can't believe you beat me."
>You look around at Dash, who just stood up, dripping wet
>"Nobody ever beats me at swimming."
"I...I can't even..."
>"When you flew past me I thought I was seeing things."
>You beat her, for once your weird fears came in handy
>Relief floods through you, and you fall over laughing like a lunatic
>Dash walks over and nudges you with her foot
>"How about we get some chow cooking?"
"That sounds great, just give me a minute to rest."
>As she opens up the food bags, you wonder if this girl was going to be the death of you
>Of course not, you're actually having fun for a change
>You suck it up and go over to help her make dinner

>After cooking hotdogs over the fire and then wrapping them in bacon, you feel like a lob
>Dash sits across from you on the opposite log, looking pretty happy
>It's a wonder how she can eat so much and maintain her figure
"Hey Dash, I've been meaning to ask, what's with the guitar?"
>You point at the small acoustic guitar strapped to her backpack
>After watching it all day during the ride, you weren't sure if she could play or not
>"Oh yeah, I almost forgot."
>She grabs it and starts to tune it while you watch
>"I brought it to play a bit, if you don't mind."
"I never knew you played guitar."
>"Hell yeah man, I've got my own band!"
"Damn really? That's pretty cool."
>"Any requests?"
>You think it over for a moment
"Do you know the campfire song song?"
>She thinks it over for a moment
>"I don't think so..."
>You aren't surprised, not that you were serious anyway
"Just play whatever you want, I don't really mind."
>You sit back to look at the stars as she starts to strum
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xDGuyGPJ_JE
>Your head involuntarily bobs as she goes through the song
>She sure chose a good one, she must have remembered your music taste
>When it's done, you give her your best Brent Rambo impression
>Her smile across the fire elates you
>Man, how in the hell did you end up in this situation?
"This is freaking awesome Dash, I'm glad we did this."
>"I am too."
>For the next couple hours, you and Dash talk, laugh, and play some more music
>You also stuff enough s'mores down to kill a lesser man
>Eventually, the stars beckon you and the moon shines overhead
"I think I'm gonna hit the sack."
>"Me too, I'll see you tomorrow Anon."

>In your tent, you inflate your bedroll and roll out your sleeping bag
>Then you strip naked while rifling through you bags for a wifebeater and boxers
>Dressed properly for bed, you open up your sleeping bag
>You stop, looking at your sock bag
>Optimism is one thing Anon, but freaking out Dash is another
>You make a long, hard decision
>Best to play it safe
>Checking to make sure that Dash is in her tent, you quietly slip out and go to the beach
>You take the two condoms out of the bag and put them in a spare plastic bag
>Then you add a good sized rock and squeeze out the air
>With one last glance at them, you pitch them out into the lake
>From the shore, you watch them sink immediately, never to be seen again
>FOREVER
"Sorry Dad, but my luck isn't THAT great."
>You return to your tent, feeling a little more secure, now that nothing can incriminate you
>Inside your sleeping bag, you curl up, feeling sore and exhausted from the day
>Usually you have a little trouble falling asleep on campouts, but today was an exception
>Sleep takes you within minutes

>A quiet rustles rouses you
>You look at your watch, it's a little past midnight
>Outside your tent, something is moving around
>Paranoid, you put a hand on the handle of your pocket knife
>Bears are uncommon, but they do exist in this area
>Suddenly, the zipper on you tent starts to move
>You flick open the knife, hoping against all odds that it's just Dash
>The zipper stops moving as the blade clicks into place
>Then, a quiet whisper
>"Anon, you awake?"
>A sigh of relief escapes you as you recognize Dash's voice
"Yeah, what's up?"
>She's outside the tent and you still can't see her
>"Listen man, I'm kind of freezing my ass off out here."
>Your mind is still comatose from waking up
"Ok, do you want me to get the fire going again?"
>You can feel her hesitate through the fabric of the tent
>"I actually had something else in mind..."

"What's that?"
>"Would it be weird if we shared a tent?"
>Pinch
>Nope, you're awake
"I guess that's alright."
>She doesn't even bother responding, the zipper goes down and she's crawling into the tent
>Her sleeping bag in dragged in behind her and she tosses it next to you
>"Thanks man, I really appreciate it."
>You can't words right now
>She wearing nothing but compression shorts and a loose t-shirt
>Rather than leaving room between the two of you, she gets in her sleeping bag and scoots close to you
>Really close
>You can feel her ass against your thigh as a matter of fact
"You good now?"
>"Much better."
>You awkwardly sit looking up at the roof of the tent while she snuggles even closer into you
>This is new
>You rack your brain trying to think of a time you were this close to a girl
>Nothing
>You don't know what the fuck to do, so you just sit quietly
>Sleep is definatly eluding you now
>"You know what?"
"Yeah?"
>"I'm still feeling kind of cold. Here."
>She reaches back and grabs your left arm like the edge of a blanket
>Then she pulls you over into what is unmistakably a spooning position
>A content breath escapes her
>"That's so much better."

>Her ass is firmly planted against your crouch
>And even though there's two sleeping bags in between, it still feels like everything you've ever dreamed
>You also have a facefull of her hair
>As inconspicuously as possible, you inhale through your nose
>Most girls smell great, but she's been pedaling in the sun all day, so she kind of smells rank
>You don't mind, god knows you smell like shit too
>She barely moves around, and you feel her grip your arm a little tighter
>Your eyes travel down a little bit and look at her neck
>There, you see a sheen of sweat
>Sweat
>Freezing
>She's so full of shit
"So Dash...you said you were freezing huh?"
>"Yeah, but I feel better now."
>You caught the defensiveness in her voice
"I'm glad."
>You snuggle her closer into you as your ego soars through the roof of the tent
>She's so soft, like a pillow, but her breathing adds something far more fulfilling
>Contentedness reigns in on you, and you no longer feel anxiety at the situation
>With Dash curled up with you, you close your eyes again
"Sleep tight Dash."
>"You too Anon."
>As you say a silent prayer that you don't snore all over her all night, you drift off again

>The sunlight wakes you up the next morning
>You feel the typical morning wetness from camping
>All over the inside of the tent, condensation from you and Dash's breathing covers everything
>Speaking of which
>Dash is no longer facing away from you
>At some point she rolled over and faced you
>Her face is mere inched from your own, and you feel a warm breath leave her month
>Everything you feel is sensual beyond belief
>Up to and including the drastic morning wood your sporting
>A tent within a tent?
>Leo would be proud
>Maybe you should abandon the situation before she wakes up
>Luckily, your arm isn't pinned underneath her
>Taking caution not to wake her, you sit up and unzip the tent flap
>Climbing over her is a delicate process, but you manage it
>Outside the tent, you zip the fly closed and stretch out
>Each and every vertebrae in your spine pops satisfyingly
>You slept far better than you can ever remember sleeping
>Maybe you should find a girl to sleep with every night
>You look back at the tent and wonder if that's what Dash wants
>Would you say yes?
>The fire is long dead, and you toss a couple pieces of wood on the embers that remain
>While you warm your hands, you see that Dash left her tent open all night
"Jesus Dash, your shit's going to get stolen."
>Muttering to yourself like a lunatic isn't helping Anon, go close the tent
>At the entrance you make to close the zipper
>She left her trail bag open
>At the top of it, you see her toiletry bag
>There, at the edge of the bag, you see an unopened condom
"Hmm."

>And here you were, worrying that it would be HER finding YOUR condoms
>Wahtatwist.jpeg
>All unease aside, you laugh out loud
>You don't really want to read into this just yet, you don't want to ruin the good time
>Who knows, maybe sometime soon you'd actually grow some balls and then use them for something
>Like the Boy Scouts taught you...
>Be Prepared
>You turn back to the fire, which is starting to get going again 
>The box of Clif Bars calls your name, so you start eating
>Your tent shifts and you see the zipper open up
>Dash stumbles out of it, looking like a drunk
>With one arm, she shields her eyes from the sunlight
"Morning."
>"What's up Anon."
>She sits down next to you on the log, and you hand her a Clif Bar
>It registers that she's still in her underwear, but you don't say anything
>The two of you sit, munching away in silence
"How'd you sleep?"
>"Fantastic. Thanks again by the way, sorry if that was weird."
"It's cool, I should have thought about getting you an insulated tent."
>"Hehe...yeah."
>You know damn well that her tent can break the wind, but you don't let on
>Seeing her squirm is too adorable to pass up
"So, you ready for another day on the trail?"
>"Hell yeah, what's on the agenda this time?"
>You point in the distance to the mountain in the center of the park, a good 30 miles away
"Canterlot Peak. On the way we're going to stop at the falls for lunch."
>Dash's eyes linger on the foreboding rock formation in the distance
>"Awesome."

>Leave no trace
>You abide by this law far more religiously than any other
>With trash bags in hand, you and Dash scour the campsite until it looks better than when you got there
>After changing into your day clothes in your tent, you take it down and pack it in
>Your bike shorts ride up your CROTCH a little, but they're still usable
>Dash is back in her bike shorts as well, accompanied by her jacket
>Next to the trail, you and her drink some water and stretch out a bit before you start
>It takes a lot of willpower to not stare at her while she practically does splits right next to you
>"When do you think we'll get to the falls?"
"Probably around noon if we go at a good pace."
>"Let's go at a good pace then."
"After you."
>She hops on her bike and heads out with you following close behind
>The weather is even more glorious than the previous day
>Not a cloud in the sky, the sun shines brightly
>The bulk of the trees block any offending wind from hampering your progress
>It's almost like somebody is intentionally making sure that your trip is perfect to a T
>"Hill coming up!"
>You lower your gears a little bit as Dash starts up a nasty looking incline
>Soreness doesn't bother you, you've spent a long time riding bikes
>You and Dash triumphantly ascend the hill, then another, then another
>The pair of you are unstoppable
>Eventually, you find yourself in the lead again, with Dash behind you
>Up ahead, a low hanging branch blocks the path
"Branch up ahead Dash."
>"I see it."
>You duck underneath it, and continue going forward
>Whatever the hell happens behind you, all you hear is a snap and a thud

>You brake so hard you almost go over the handle bars
>Looking around, you expect to see Dash impaled on a tree branch or some other gruesome shit
>Instead, you laugh at what you see
>Apparently she jumped off her bike at the last second and landed on her backpack
>Now she rolls around like a flipped over turtle, trying to right herself
"Here, let me help you."
>You give her an arm and pull her up
>She dusts herself off, looking heavily embarrassed
>"Sorry about that."
"Don't feel bad, shit happens."
>You lift up the leg of your shorts a little to show her the plethora of scars you have
"Everybody falls."
>Dash looks down at her own legs, where you then notice that she cut up a knee
>"Crap."
"It's cool, just sit down over here."
>You point at a nearby boulder and start going through your bag for the first aid kit
"Hey Dash, what had you so distracted anyway?"
>"I thought I saw a deer."
>There it is, her defensive tone
>Must have been one of the deer on your ass cheeks
>You busy yourself with a pair of tweezers pulling the gravel out of her knee
>She a tough girl, and barely grimaces
"Do you want iodine?"
>"Yeah, just do it quick."
>You give her a rag to bite on and pour some over the wound
>Then you wrap it in gauze for her
"All set?"
>"Yeah, let's go."
>She puts a hand on your shoulder before you turn away
>"Thanks Anon, you're freaking awesome."

>The pace slows down a bit to avoid any more accidents
>But not that much, remember, this is Rainbow Dash, the fastest girl in school
>Rather than get to the falls at noon, you get there around 1:00
>The moving water gives you an opportunity to refill the water bottles
>There really is nothing that tastes quite as fresh as clean mountain spring water
>Bottles topped off, you and Dash look down at the pool of water about 40 feet below
>"That's quite a drop."
"Dare me to jump?"
>She looks at you like you're insane
>Maybe you are, because you're completely serious
>"You won't jump."
>You start taking off your shirt and shoes
>"Anon, you're nuts."
>Stepping back, you give yourself enough room for a running start
>"I'm taking your bike if you don't come back up."
"I'll see you in a minute."
>Your feet pound as you haul to the edge of the cliff
>The reason for you doing this escapes you
>Maybe you want to impress her
>Maybe you want to trigger your thalassophobia again 
>Maybe you have a death wish
>Either way, you throw yourself into the space next to the cliff and scream to the heavens
"YOLO!"
>For a moment, you rest in the air as forward momentum cares you from the rock face
>And then gravity takes you
>Your guts press upwards as you fall like a rock
>The water rushes to meet you far faster than you would imagine
>Your teeth and ass are as clenched as possible
>Splash

>You spit out a healthy amount of water when you get to the surface
>After swimming over to a nearby rock, you crawl out of the water
>The pain in your ass cheeks can only be described as unimaginable
>Hopefully you'd be able to sit on your bike after this
>Looking up, you don't see Dash at the cliff edge
>She must have walked around to get down to you
>Nope, there she is, in her swimming clothes again
>Jumping off the cliff
"YEAH DASH!"
>Her decent seems to take a lot less time than yours
>But when she hits the water, you can imagine her pain very realistically
>When she surfaces, you give her a round of applause as she makes for your rock
>"You didn't say anything about how much of pain in the ass that would be."
"You didn't say that you were going to jump."
>"Touche."
>You lay down on the rock and let the sun dry you off
>Dash lays down next to you, putting her hand out
>It just happens to land on top of yours
>You give it a squeeze, meshing her fingers with your own
>Both of you are long dry by the time you move again
"How about some food?"
>"Absolutely."
>After climbing up the cliff face, you and Dash destroy a half dozen Clif Bars and get back in your riding clothes
"How's your ass doing?"
>She shakes it in your direction
>"All good here. How about you?"
>You shake your own ass right back at her
"Good to go."
>"How long til we get to the mountain."
"An hour or so, but the hard part is getting up."
>"Don't worry Anon, I'm sure you'll be able to get it up."
>She laughs at your expression before taking off for the trail

>You were close to right, it took about an hour to get to the base of the mountain
>From the base, you and Dash eat some food and drink a good amount of water
>But you can't take your eyes from the trail
>It winds a bit, with rocks along the sides, but otherwise it's a pretty straight shot to the peak
>Everything about it is foreboding, extreme, and treacherous
>"You feeling up for this?"
"But of course. The only question is, are you?"
>She sneers at you with mock arrogance
>"Just try to keep up."
>Like her usual self, she flies on ahead up the path
>After lowering your gear drastically, you follow her at speed
>You glue your eyes to her rear end, hoping that your libido will help you find the strength to get to the top
>It works, for the most part
>The burning is your legs is ungodly, but you get a good distance up before you feel like quitting
>It feels like the wind is coming into your faces down the mountain as well
>Up ahead, Dash appears to be faring no better, her breathing is heavy and sweat stains her jacket
>Still, she presses on, determined to not let the mountain beat her
>You really have to admire her drive to succeed
>Halfway up, she pulls over to rest and get water and you skid to a stop next to her
"Fucking christ this burns."
>"I know."
>She upends a bottle of water, soaking herself
"Want to switch lead? You can slipstream me to the top."
>Her breathing is so heavy that she doesn't answer for a moment
>"That...would be awesome."
>You pat her on the back and climb back up on your bike
"Chase my tail girl."
>Your own breathing isn't that great, but your 70 percent lung capacity seems to be holding out for the time being
>Teeth gritted, you roar to the sky and push off up the hill again

>It's hell
>Fun, satisfying hell, but hell nonetheless
>Dash follows you close behind, using you to break the wind
>The peak gets steadily closer 
>Your chest and legs scream in protest
>It feels like a knife is lodged into your ribs
>You start to taste oranges, for whatever reason, this usually accompanied hard physical exertion for you
>The urge to puke starts to come up
>Wind roaring in your ears, you keep pedaling, knowing that your goal is getting closer
>And closer
>And then you reach it, cresting the rise of the slope to come across flat ground finally
>You're too beaten down physically to go any further and relief floods through you
>Until you look up and see that you're sitting atop a false peak
>The actual summit still looms overhead, mocking you
"YOU MISERABLE FUCKING COCK!"
>Dash stops next to you and looks up at the next stretch with a pained, exasperated grimace
>You look at her, and she looks back at you, as the gravity of your predicament befalls you both
>And then at the same time you both start to laugh
>Bikes forgotten, you fall over onto the dirt next to her and laugh while you try to get your breathing under control
>"How about we set up and camp and walk to the top later."
>You don't even respond, you just nod
>"Alright."
>Neither of you move for a long time, unwilling or unable, it didn't matter
>Eventually you find the strength to haul your self up and go about setting up camp
>Dash does the same and before the sun starts to sink you've got the camp set up reasonably well
>She stretches out and closes her eyes inside her tent
>You get a fire burning and sit on a log, pulling out a book to entertain yourself

>It's closer to 8:00 PM by the time she stirs again
>Dark is setting in, the air is cool, and off in the distance a storm rages
>However, the sky above you is clear and the stars start to twinkle
>You're well into the book as Dash crawls out her tent flap to sit on the log opposite you
>She brings her guitar out with her and starts to get it ready
>Before she starts to play her eyes travel to the book in your hands
>"Watcha reading egghead?"
>You show her the cover, Night Shift
"Stephen King."
>"What's it about?"
"It's just a bunch of short stories."
>"Really? Read me one!"
>You hesitate, unsure if she knows what she's buying into
"These are fucking terrifying Dash."
>"Bring it on, I might have a pussy but I'm not a pussy."
>Ignoring her last comment, you go to the index to find your favorite
>She snaps her fingers
>"Let's make a deal."
"Ok."
>"You read me a scary story, and then you have to sing while I play my guitar."
>Mulling it over, it sounds like a reasonable plan, but there is a problem
"I suck at singing."
>"I'm sure you'll be fine, I'm not gonna judge."
"Alright then, ready to start biting your nails?"
>Her eyes narrow and she pulls a bag of chips from her bag
>"Go for it."
"This ones's called Strawberry Spring."
>You clear your throat and launch into the mind of the maniac author you worship
"Springheel Jack..."

"...And oh dear God, I think so too."
>Christ sake, you gave yourself goosebumps and you've read it before
>Maybe its the setting at night on a mountain
>You look up, across the fire pit to where Dash is listening
>Untrue to her word, Dash is curled up in a tight knot
>And looking around as if expecting a knife wielding murderer to lunge from the shadows
>Her eyes stare death into your soul
>"First of all, fuck you for reading me that..."
>You laugh into the darkness
>"...second, holy shit man, your voice!"
"My voice?"
>Arms shaking slightly, she snatches up her guitar
>"You need to sing for me. Now."
"Alright, what are you going to play?"
>"Fuck it, you pick a song."
>You think of a good one that fits the mood
"Do you know Fire and Rain?"
>She nods and makes a couple adjustments to her guitar
>You take a breath, hoping you don't fuck up, as she launches into the song
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C3uaXCJcRrE
>At the end, you cough and take a deep breath
"How did I do?"
>"Anon, god dammit, that was great."
"Well shit, thanks."
>She's giving you an odd grin now, almost lovestruck to be honest
>"Hey, you want to go to the summit and check out the stars?"
>You look at your watch, it's past 9:00
"Sure, it's late enough I guess."
>"I'll race you."
"You and your freaking races, let's go."
>Her in the lead, you sprint to get to the top first

>You lose
>When you get there, she's laying down on a rock
>"Lay down with me."
>She pats the spot next to her
>You sprawl out beside her, putting your hands under your head
>Dash scoots a little closer to you
>"Anon, I'm having a lot of fun you know."
"I am too."
>"Did you always do stuff like this?"
>Painful memories of your past fuck ups surface
"No, going outside is a reasonably new development for me."
>"What made you change your mind?"
"I don't know, I guess I just got tired of letting life leave me in the dust."
>It hurts to think of all the days you spent shut up in the basement doing nothing
"One day I just decided to switch my motto from 'Do the Dew' to 'Carpe Diem'."
>Dash laughs next to you
>"Do the Dew...you're a funny guy Anon."
"I try."
>She leans up and looks at you
>"Look man, I really like you a lot, I don't know if you've been getting any hints."
>The hand holding, spooning, butt wiggling, and secret condom
"I might have noticed something."
>"And since we're going to prom together, I figure we should really know each other beforehand."
"What do you have in mind?"
>"If you want, we can take another step forward with all this stuff..."
>You know where she's going with this
>Are you even ready?

>Somehow, you find your feet
>A short distance away is a cliff edge, and you walk to it 
>You gaze out into the distance as a ridiculous number of emotions run rampant
>"Is that a no?"
>Dash sounds horribly disappointed behind you, and you turn to look at her
"Dash, I can't fuck this up, I can't."
>She gets up and walks over to you
"I'm having the time of my life here, and I don't want to fuck it up..."
>"I don't understand Anon, you're usually so confident. Hell, you're as confident as the assholes like Flash back at school!"
>You sigh into the air above the abyss before you
"I'm only confident about stuff that I'm familiar with...this is uncharted territory for me."
>A hand on your shoulder turns you around
>Dash is stood right next to you, next to cliff as the stars nod their approval
>"Then let me take the lead for this stretch you dummy."
>This time, you are as sure as possible that you aren't dreaming
>Her lips lock onto yours, soft and supple
>You were right in the dream, they do taste like lip balm
>She puts her hands on the sides of your head, and you only hesitate for moment before you put yours on her waist
>Entwined together on the edge of the world, the moment lasts for an eternity
>But every great moment ends, and you feel her pull away
>You're still in shock as you look into her beautiful magenta eyes
>"Speechless huh?"
"Very."
>She giggles at your expression
>"Are you sure that you don't want to go any further?"
>Further
"You mean like...sex?"
>The word scares you senseless at the moment, you can't believe you even said it
>"If you aren't comfortable going that quick, I won't rush it."
>Your shock starts to dissipate slightly
>Dash looks thoughtfully out of the corner of her eyes, towards the storm in the distance
>"Have you ever gotten a handjob?"

"Um...no."
>She raises her eyebrows at you inquiringly
>Suck it up faggot, you've given yourself countless handjobs in the past
>You let out a breath before you answer
"Sure."
>"Let's go back to the tent."
>Holding your hand firmly, she takes you down the actual summit to the campsite
>This is happening Anon, this is really happening
>Dash opens up the fly of her tent while you wait
>"Just hang out for a second, I need to get something."
>As you watch, she opens up her toiletry bag and pulls out a bottle of lotion
>The rest of the shit in it spills out onto her sleeping bag, and you see the condom
>Dash notices you looking at it
>"Oh yeah, I figured I'd at least be ready for anything."
>You nod meekly
>"We'll get around to using that later, for now..."
>The top of the lotion bottle pops off
>She rubs it on her hands and rights herself again
>Speechless doesn't begin to describe how you feel right now
>"How do you want to do it?"
"Um..."
>"Here."
>She pulls you down to the entrance of her tent, facing you away from her
>"Just sit on your knees and chill, man."
>You do as she says, looking away from whatever the hell she's doing
>Her legs lock with yours and you can tell she's right behind you
>Then you feel her fingers go into the waistband of your bike shorts, slowly pulling them down
>Your breathing goes as sharp as a knife as you become exposed to the cool mountain air
>A finger pinches your left ass cheek and you jump slightly
>In your ear, a soft whisper:
>"I've wanted to do that ever since I first saw you in those bike shorts."

>You laugh nervously, feeling both terrified and ecstatic
>Then her hand snakes its way around to your front
>A shiver runs up your spine at the feeling of her fingers on your shaft
>The lotion certainly helped make them a lot softer at least
>She goes about stroking, slowly and gently
>You're so fucking nervous that you can't feel yourself rise to the occasion
"Dash..."
>Her warm breath tickles the nape of your neck
>"Just relax Anon, let me do the work."
>You remember the breathing exercises you use to fight asthma, and slowly get yourself calmed down
>To your relief, you stand at attention, and she goes a bit faster
>"There you go meathead."
>She puts her head in the crook of your neck 
>Her hair spills onto your chest a bit
>Your breathing starts to go faster again, but you're already good to go and you don't fight it
>The pleasure reverberating throughout you is unbelievable
>As she pumps, she gives you a peck on the side of the neck every once in a while
>She's pressed firmly up against your back now, you can feel her chest rise and fall
>Then her other hand finds your balls, caressing them carefully
>You gasp loudly at the new sensation
>That's it, you're done
>You barely recognize you own voice
"Dash, I'm gonna cum..."
>Her voice speaks directly into your ear
>"Let it go man."
>You give a couple more gasps as you feel yourself go past the tipping point
>At the last moment you put your hand up on the side of her head, which is still warmly snug against your neck
>Whether it's because you hadn't whacked in a couple days, or because you aren't doing it yourself...
>...but there was a LOT more than usual
>Your back arches and you go rigid as ropes of cum fly out the door of the tent into the night
>The orgasm completely rips through you, and you go limp in Dash's arms

>You sit in euphoria for a minute until Dash speaks up
>"Hey man, give me a hand here, you're kind of heavy."
"Sorry."
>You put a hand down so that Dash doesn't have to hold your ass up
>"Feeling good?"
"Very much, thanks for that."
>"You don't need to say thanks idiot, it's kind of a mutual deal."
>She pats your back and gives you one more lingering kiss on the neck
>The night air is actually a bit cold, and you pull your shorts up again
>"Now come on, I'm freezing and you're the big spoon again."
"Let me just go get me sleeping bag."
>Dash grabs the back of your shirt as you make to leave the tent
>"Don't worry about that, I have a better idea."
>You look back to see her sliding her shorts down to her feet
>She's left in nothing but a pair of polka dot panties and her sports bra
>"Get in here with me big guy."
>Unzipping her sleeping bag, she makes room for you to crawl in
>You suck your balls back out and position yourself behind her while she sticks her rear out for you to cradle
>Then you stop, realizing that you never really did anything for HER
"Hey Dash, did you want me to do something...for you?"
>She looks sorely tempted to accept the offer, but bites her lip instead
>"Don't worry about it man, there'll be plenty of time for me to teach that stuff later. Let's just sleep."
>An excellent point, you are rather spent from the biking and raging orgasm
>You zip up the sleeping back behind you and make yourself comfortable
>Dash is warm as hell, and you pull her tight into your chest
>She gives a content sigh
>"Sweet dreams Anon."
"You too Dash."
>The darkness starts to take you and far in the distance you hear sea shanties

>You gaze out at the sea, smelling the fresh air around you
>Gulls fly through the rigging past the crimson flag you fly
>Your duster trailers behind you as you hold the helm steady
>A sailor in the rigging shouts to you from above
>"Ship on the horizon captain!"
>Hefting your spyglass, you take in the sails of an English man of war
>Upon close inspection, you see its name
>HMS ClosetCritic
"FULL SAIL LADS, LET'S CATCH THEM BEFORE THEY CAN SLIP AWAY!"
>Your men take up a shanty as they drop the sails and fly forward onto your prey
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P8NgFE4J-VA
>From the captains cabin, your first mate Rainbow Dash emerges, adjusting her hat
>She walks up next to you at the helm, pistol belt shining in the Caribbean sun
>"Sleep well last night Captain?"
"You know I didn't."
>She gives you a smug grin and looks out to the ship in the distance
>"Today's prize?"
"Aye. We'll send the scum into the depths where they belong."
>Within the hour you've caught up to them
"RUN OUT THE CHASE CANNONS BOYS!"
>You watch, satisfied, as chain shot tears the rigging of the English ship apart
>Rainbow Dash starts readying her pistols next to you
>"They're all yours now sir."
"BEAT TO QUARTERS LADS, RUN OUT THE GUNS AND PREPARE FOR BATTLE!"
>The sailors on deck give a battle cry and get ready to broadside the man of war
>"Orders sir?"
"You and I will lead the boarding party, I want you by my side."
>"Always, sir."
>The grappling hooks fly and the man of war comes within your clutches
"FIRE!"
>The roar of cannon and clashing of steel echo around you, then go faint as blackness subdues you

>You wake up back in the tent, disappointed
>Then you remember your real life situation, and feel a LOT better
>But what the hell woke you up?
>You realize that you longer hold Dash in your arms
>Behind you is a faint, wet squelching

>Quietly, you turn over to the source of the noise
>There she is
>Dash is turned with her back to you by the tent flaps
>Then you realize what she's doing
>It occurs to you that she really is a terrible liar
>It must be her stubborn pride or something, some would call it vanity but not you
"I thought you said not to worry about it?"
>She freezes and the squelching stops dead
>"I uh...didn't know you were awake."
"Yeah, there was this weird wet noise that woke me up."
>You can almost hear the gulp that comes from her, as she realizes she was caught red handed
>"Look Anon..."
"I could at least try, Dash."
>You'd never actually done it before, but it was a night of firsts for you, so why not
>"Alright, why not, I was almost done anyway."
>She moves over and straddles you as you look up at her
>"Just...rub, I guess."
"Rub?"
>She takes your hand and extends two of your finger for you
>Then she puts them against the fabric of her underwear where you know damn well her ladyparts reside
>Unfamiliar with female anatomy, you assume that she knows what she's doing
>"Just rub ."
>You do as you're told, moving your fingers around as if you were massaging her
>The outline of a slit is very noticeable, and you start to work on it through the fabric of her panties
>"Keep going."
>Unsure if you're doing it right or not, you decide to try writing into her snatch with your fingers
>A decent enough poem comes to mind, and you start outlining The Conqueror Worm into the folds of her crotch

>You start to feel a good amount of moisture before you even get to the end of the first line
>By the time you finish the first verse, she's given up straddling you and is pressed into your chest
>Her head is back in your neck and her arms are wrapped around you
>"Holy shit Anon...I'm close, don't stop."
>Racking your brain to stay focused, you press on
>As the mimes appear in the poem, Dash grabs your head without warning and sticks her tongue in your mouth
>She moans into you and spasms gently atop you
>Your own tongue, being inexperienced, gets it's ass kicked in the tongue war
>Eventually, her twitching subsides, and she falls over next to you on the sleeping bag, panting
>"How the hell...did you do that?"
"I don't fucking know, I was just letting you do your thing."
>"It felt like you were writing something."
"Well yeah, I was."
>She laughs and puts an arm across your chest
>"You're such a damn egghead, man."
>You feel pretty good that you actually got her to cum
>"So you like writing huh?"
>She gives you a mischievous grin that you return
"For the most part."
>"Well, you're gonna be doing a lot more of THAT kind of writing."
>There is no strength left to argue, not that you want to
>With your comfort zone finally shattered, you figure it's time to start returning favors
>"By the way, when do we get back tomorrow?"
"If we leave early, we'll get to the truck around 10:00."
>"Good, cause I've got something in mind that we'll consider the next step in your ascent to this."
>She waves the condom in your face
"What would that be?"
>A finger waves in front of you face
>"It's a surprise, but it involves the truck, and I'll leave it at that."
>You shut your eyes, tired and sore, ready to sleep

>When you come to, the smell of a dead fire and morning fog hits your nose
>The gentle patter of rain hits the tent
>It would seem the storm from last night that you saw moved to the mountain while you slept
>Dash is curled up to the side breathing softly into her pillow  
>You crawl out of the tent to look around
>Fog swirls around everything and the air is heavy with moisture
>Your watch says 7:32, which is a bit later than you intended to get up
>The bikes are still lying neglected where you and Dash collapsed from exhaustion the day prior
>It was hard to believe that it was only a day
>Your bucket list was damn near empty, and it felt like a lifetime
>Somehow, you don't want to ponder everything that's happened, so you busy yourself with your bike tools
>Your pack is back in your own tent, so you open it to get the tool bag from it
>After pulling out your Allen wrenches and lubricant, you give your bike the best tune up you can
>Dash's bike is still immaculate, she must have spent a fuck ton of money on it
>Hands greasy and black, you wash them off in a nearby puddle left by the rain
>"Morning Anon."
>You stand up and turn to the voice behind you
>Dash stretches and yawns at the entrance to her tent still clad in her night clothes
"Howdy."
>"We got any Clif bars left?"
>You rummage through the food bag and find a couple in the bottom, which you toss to her
>The food supplies are running low, so is the water
"We need to wrap this up today. We're nearly out of food."
>She sits by the fire and nods, chewing thoughtfully
>"How much longer is it?"
"After we get down the mountain, we go through the swamp and then hit the parking lot again."
>She swallows her mouthful of granola and throws the wrapper in the embers
>"Let's leave soon then."
"I'll start breaking down camp."

>"Aren't you going to eat?"
"I'm not hungry."
>Dash shrugs and watches you put bags into packs and start rolling up your tent
>It's kind of weird that you don't want to eat, but given everything that's happened, you aren't surprised
>When she's finished eating, you help her roll up the other tent and get the campsite cleaned up
>Content with it's spotlessness, you climb on your bikes and walk over to the other side of the cliff where the path leads down
>Its foggy and steep
"We need to be careful."
>For once, she nods in agreement without throwing caution to the winds
"I'll lead to the bottom, if I eat shit you'd better brake."
>"Can do."
>Hoping against all odds that you aren't committing suicide, you take a deep breath and push off down the slope
>It's bumpy and rough, but not having to pedal let's you focus on steering a lot more
>Luckily, the fog gets less dense as you go lower, and visibility increases
>When you get a chance, you look over your shoulder to see that Dash is alright
>Unlike you, she seems to be having a blast
>It's like danger is her middle name or some shit
>You turn back to the path and see a turn coming up
>Leaning hard and braking hard, you manage to make it easily
>The lack of pained falling lets you know that Dash did the same
>The speed continues to increase the further you go
>Eventually, it's straight and flat enough to not have to brake
>You straighten up and stretch your back as the wind howls in your ears
>The adrenaline from the ride's beginning starts to come back
>You feel alive again
>At the base of the mountain you turn back and give Dash a thumbs up
>"Speed it up slowpoke!"
>Speed it up?
>She asked for it

>By the time you get to the wetlands, you're spent
>Not only did you fail to lose Dash, but she playfully bumped your back wheel a few dozen times
>"Doing good?"
>You gasp several times in response
>"Well alright. How much longer we got to go?"
>You look at your watch, which claims it's 9:20
"Half an hour-ish. We should finish off the water, we don't need to ration it anymore."
>She digs the last of the water bottles from her pack and hands you one
>You bite off the top and extend it to her
"Here's to our health."
>She lifts her own water bottle
>"And our orgasms."
>You shut your eyes exasperatedly
"And our orgasms."
>"May there be many more."
>You'd facepalm, but your hands are occupied
"Amen."
>She smacks her water bottle against yours and chugs it down with gusto
>You mimic her as she slaps your back
>"Chin up tough guy, I need you to be in shape for prom next Friday."
>Jesus, you'd completely forgotten about prom
>How were going to explain to your xbox that you were taking somebody else?
>"I'll lead the rest of the way, you'd better keep up."
>Fatigue and soreness reign in on you, but you know you can do it
>There's not a chance in hell you'll lose Rainbow Dash
>At least, that's what you tell yourself as she disappears into the fog enveloping the swamp
>You sling your pack over a shoulder and take off into the mist after her
>The mud is shitty and sprays up your back the whole time
>When you get a glimpse of her, you see that Dash is faring no better
>Her own normally adorable butt is caked in muddy water and grit
>Maybe later you'd help her clean it off
>Suddenly you remember her deal that you made after fingering her
>The condom was still in play, and she'd said it would be used soon
>You find new energy in the promise of getting laid, and pump ever harder through the marsh after her

>There's barely enough strength left in you to hit the brakes once you reach the truck
>But there's enough dents in it already, and you avoid adding another as you skid to a halt next to it
>Dash is there already, leaning against the tailgate, breathing as heavy as you are
>She lifts her hand for a high five when you walk over to her
>"We did it!"
>You smack her palm like your arm was a limp noodle, and shrug out of your pack
>Man, it feels good to be free of it
>After three days of wearing it, your shoulders have seemingly permanent marks from the straps
>Dash takes pity on you and starts tossing the gear into the bed of the truck
>"Does this place have showers?"
"I don't think so. Why?"
>"Look at us man."
>You're both caked in mud from the trail
>The bikes are even worse, yours is no longer grey, but brown
"Christ."
>"Let's at least change into some clean clothes first. I'd hate to get the truck dirty."
>You laugh weakly at the implication that your truck shouldn't get dirty
>It's already dirty as hell
>Regardless, you get your clean change of clothes from the truck
>You'd left them assuming that you'd have nothing left to wear on the ride home
>You yawn tiredly as you make your way to the restrooms
>Inside the men's again, you remember looking at yourself those few days ago
>Back then, you weren't too shabby
>Now, you're covered in mud, blood from scratches, and crusty sweat from biking all weekend
>Totally worth it
>Being dirty is the best feeling in the world when you have something to show for it
>You take a look in the trash can and see the box of condoms is still there
>Yeah, you never used them, but you still had fun in other ways
>For a few minutes you struggle into some clean jeans and a shirt, then you leave to rejoin Dash

>She was waiting for you outside the door off the bathroom
>Her choice of attire includes a pair of loose sweatpants and a tank top
>"I was starting to debate coming in to get you." 
"Maybe you should have."
>See Anon, instigating lewdness isn't hard
>Dash laughs at the comment though
>"Not in a camp bathroom man, that's gross. Later though...we still need to clean up back at my place."
"What did you have in mind?"
>"I was thinking of a nice, long, hot shower."
>Goosebumps erupt on you and you swallow
"A shower sounds good."
>She gives you a cocky grin and starts walking back to the truck
>All the gear and bikes are in the back, piled in a similar heap as before the campout, if only a bit dirtier
>Actually, a lot dirtier
>While you and Dash get into the cab of the truck, you can't help but dread having to clean it all off
>Sitting down on cushioning feels like heaven
>You turn the key, praying that the truck starts
>It does, and you put it in drive while Dash leans against the window tiredly
"Napping already?"
>"Bite me, I'm tired."
>You offer a slight guffaw at her reaction and reach for the radio
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nKOhDNsS4OQ
>Content, you start to hum along as you pull out onto the interstate
>Not a minute in, Dash opens an eye and flicks to a different station
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4EFddbHkRo
>"Sorry man, I'm not in the mood for sappy shit."
>She goes back to snoozing
>You look at her, amused
>Dash was still that same old tomboy you couldn't get enough of

>With a sore ass and horrendous amounts of fatigue, the ride seems to take even longer
>On each side of the truck there's no scenery save for endless trees
>No buildings whatsoever
>An hour into it, you're wishing to be home very, very much
>Dash is out like a light, snoring into the window next to you
>If only you could sleep too
>The road blurs as your eyes try to close
>You wrench them open quickly as the right wheels hit the rumble strip
>The vibrations stir something in Dash, who opens a blurry eye
>"What the hell was that?"
"Sorry, just trying to stay awake."
>She stretches a bit and looks at the rear view mirror
>"I guess now would be a decent time for that surprise."
>By all means had you not forgotten the surprise she'd told you about
>You just didn't bring it up because it still wasn't your territory
"What was that surprise exactly?"
>"Just a little something to help you stay awake."
>She reaches down and unbuckles her seatbelt
"Dash, I'm still driving."
>"I know, don't stop, no matter what."
>As she moves over a bit, you realize with widening eyes what she's about to do
>This is going to be new, no doubt about it
>Hopefully you wouldn't wrap the truck around a tree before she was done
>Her hand finds your belt buckle and opens it rather easily
>Then, she sticks her hand underneath your boxers and fishes out your dick
>Involuntarily, the touch of her fingers makes your leg spasm, and you slam down on the accelerator
>She leans down to your lap and stops for a second
>"You'd better not crash."

"No guarantees, but I swear I'll..."
>She silences you by running her tongue up your length
>Fuck, that was nice
>This time around, the little guy has no trouble pointing at the roof of the truck
>Dash goes at it with gusto, bobbing up and down on you
>Trees start going by faster and faster as your leg presses down on the accelerator harder
>Wet gurgling noises reverberate from your lap
>Usually you drive with one hand out the window, but that hand takes the wheel now
>Your other hand rests itself on the back of Dash's head as it goes up and down
>As you crest 80, she pulls back a bunch and blows on the tip
>Pleasure seizes you as your breaking point draws closer
"Dash, I'm going to be done very soon."
>Her response is to mumble something onto your head
>The vibrations push you even further
"Oh god."
>The hand on her head moves to her firm butt, which you squeeze a few times
>She swills the tip with her tongue and you hit defcon 1
"I'm cumming Dash."
>She doesn't move her head
>Something guttural comes from you throat as you fill Dash's mouth with nut
>At this point the truck is almost at 100
>The thought of getting a ticket doesn't bother you much as you finish spraying your load
>Upon finishing, she rolls down the window, leans out, and spits it on the pavement
>She comes back into the truck, wiping her mouth with her hand
>"Hope you don't mind, but I hate the taste of that stuff."
>Do you mind?
>The only thing you have to mind is getting the truck back under 70
>It takes a while, but you do it
>And now, in the aftermath of your orgasm, you start to feel the need to sleep again
>Up ahead, a diner looms on the right
"Let's get some coffee."
>"That sounds good. You're buying."

>Paranoid that the gear will get stolen, you park by the windows of the restaurant
>Right next to an avalanche pickup hybrid
>As you get out of the cab, you give the behemoth a sarcastic nod
"Doing some fucking hauling right here folks!"
>"Let's go idiot, I'm starving here."
>Your compatriot taps her foot by the door
>With a last contemptuous glance, you turn away and follow Dash into the diner
>It's pretty worn in, unlike the diners back in Canterlot
>You can smell eggs and bacon cooking
>A waitress approaches you as Rainbow Dash puts her jacket on a hat stand
>"Hello...table for two?"
>She seems abhorrently timid for being a waitress
"Yeah, by the window if possible."
>Dash turns around and takes a look at the waitress
>"Fluttershy?"
>The yellow girls eyes show surprise
>"Rainbow Dash?"
>You look back and forth in between them, missing something
"You guys know each other?"
>Dash gives your arm a smack
>"She goes to our school meathead. She's one of my friends."
>It doesn't surprise you that you don't know her
>At this point, the only girls you associate with are Pinkie and Rainbow Dash
"Oh. It's nice to meet you Fluttershy."
>You put out a friendly hand for her to shake
>Which she does, very briefly, after hesitating
>God, you must be dirtier than you realize, either that or she's as shy as her name implies
>"Let me take you to your table."
>You follow her with Dash to a booth near the corner of the diner
>She puts a couple menus down along with utensils
>After she's read the specials, she leaves you and Dash alone to choose your food

"What are you getting?"
>"Everything. You?"
>Great, you'd be freaking bankrupt at this rate
"Toast."
>Dash looks at you skeptically over the menu
"What? I'm not that hungry."
>"You're weird."
>Fair enough, you are kind of weird
>"By the way, I can still taste you in my mouth. Eat more fruit."
"Does that actually work?"
>"It can't hurt to try."
"Let me add that to my list of strange new dilemmas."
>Fluttershy returns with a pad of paper after a couple minutes
>"Are you guys ready to order?"
>As Rainbow Dash reads down the entire freaking menu, you take a sip of the coffee you were given
>Swill, just like beer
>You'd stick to soda and iced tea forever at this rate
>"And what about you, um..."
"Anonymous, and I'll have toast."
>"Ok, I'll bring it out in a little while. We're kind of busy today."
>She leaves and you and Dash sit alone drinking coffee for a while
>Nearby, a fatass, suit clad business man stands up and walks out the door
>He stops next to the avalanche in the parking lot, giving your dirty, older truck a sneer
>You narrow your eyes, jimmies rustled slightly
>He gets into his gas guzzling monstrosity and drives off, engine roaring profusely
>"So Anon, are you looking forward to prom?"
>Rainbow Dash initiates conversation again, and you turn away from the window
"I'm not sure, up until Friday I didn't think I'd be going."
>"Don't worry about it, I'll do what it takes to get you ready."
"You and Pinkie both, it seems."
>Coffee sipping silence ensues while you think about the future 
"You know, I don't have any earthly idea how to dance."
>Dash laughs, waving your comment off with her hand
>"It's not really dancing, you'll see come Friday. Or... we could practice ahead of time."

"Why do you make that sound horrendously lewd?"
>"Mostly because it is horrendously lewd."
"Well alright then."
>You sure had a lot of things to look forward to this week
>Fluttershy returns with two platters of food, putting the vast majority in front of Rainbow Dash
>"Do you guys need anything else?"
>RD: "No thanks Flutters, I think this will do."
>With one last nervous glance at you, Fluttershy walks away
>As she cleans a table on the other side of the diner, you lean towards Dash
"So... am I just that gross, or is she really that shy?"
>Rainbow Dash looks at the mud still caked on you
>"A little of both I think."
>Reassured that you're only a little bit gross, you spread butter on your toast
>Across from you, Rainbow Dash wolfs down eggs and meat with the enthusiasm of a starving African
>You watch her for a while, amused at how unladylike she acts sometimes
>She notices your barely contained grin and looks up at you
>"Shut up and your toast, butter boy."
>You laugh and take a few bites of the bread
>Truth be told you still aren't that hungry, just tired and happy from the weekend
>It takes you and Dash the same time to finish eating
>Which is saying something, as she got ten times more food than you
>How in the hell she manages to pack it away like that escapes you
>Athletes 
>Fluttershy returns with the bill when she sees empty plates
>"No rush guys, here you go."
>You look at the damage and toss a pile of cash on the table
>Again, you're in a good mood, and tip a lot more than 8 percent
>Dash looks at the money suspiciously
>"You trying to bang her or something?"
>As you walk out the door with her, you put an arm around Dash and draw her close
"No, apparently I have you for that now."

>In the parking lot, you survey the mountain of dirty gear in the truck
"Hey Dash, you said we're going to your place?"
>"Yeah, we need to clean up."
"Change of plan, I want to stop by my place first."
>"Why's that?"
>You point at the heap of equipment
"If I'm correct in assuming my truck will be unoccupied for a while, I'd like to get rid of this shit first."
>"Fair enough. Your truck will definitely be unoccupied all night."
>She accompanies that comment with a wink and a nudge
>Every Ainsley Harriet gif you've ever seen runs through your mind
>As you get into the truck, you feel less tired from the coffee, but still very sore, especially in the ass
"Hey Dash, I've got an idea."
>She stops putting on her seatbelt to look at you
"You want to drive?"
>For some reason, this makes her look uncomfortable
>"I only have a permit."
>That must be why she rides her bike to work at night
>You toss her the keys and walk around to the passenger door
"That's fine with me. Just don't get pulled over."
>Dash looks at the keys uncertainly for a bit, then slides over to the driver's seat
>You take the passenger seat and run her through driving the truck
>It's an automatic, so she learns fast, and soon, you're out on the highway again
>At first, she goes the speed limit
>At first
>Then she gets comfortable
>Before you know it, she's hauling ass like a getaway driver, eager grin spread from ear to ear
>Her reputation for being fast rings in your ears as you get comfortable in the passenger seat
>Maybe letting her drive was reckless, but hey, you're still young and stupid
>Seeing her this happy kept your mouth shut for the time being
>You blast the radio and stick an arm out the window as Dash flies up the road

>The feeling of a fist on your arm drags you away from yet another pirate dream
>"It's time to wake up Anon, we're here."
>The truck is sat outside your house, engine humming while it's in park
"You got us here alive, great work."
>"You bet I did, I'm the awesomest girl for a reason you now."
"You know that isn't a word right?"
>Dash leans in close to you and whispers in your ear
>"It is when you're awesome."
>God she smells as rank as you do
>It's a wonder that Fluttershy didn't have you both thrown headfirst from the diner
"Come on, let's get rid of the gear and go shower."
>As you and Dash drag bags of equipment to the garage, you look up at the windows of the house
>There, you see your dad, quietly observing the going-ons outside
>He raises his eyebrows at you, and you can very plainly read his face
>"Did you get it in?"
>Truthfully, you didn't 'get it in'
>But road head and handjobs had to count for something right?
>You give him a sheepish nod from the street
>He grins proudly, and then proceeds to crack open a beer and disappear from view
>That crazy old bastard
>"You all set Anon?"
>Dash walks out of the garage after throwing the last of the camping supplies on the tarp
>You take a last look at the empty window
"Yeah. Let's get out of here."
>You start to get into the drivers side of the truck
>"Hey!"
>Dash looks at you, pouting adorably
>"I want to drive."
>This is reckless Anon
>The boonies was one thing, the city is another
>Who are you kidding, you can't say no to that face
"Fine. Just keep it under the limit this time... awesome girl."

>She peels out of the driveway and gets onto Canterlot's main street
>This time she actually keeps it under the limit, and drives reasonably well for a scrub
>You see the Pony X-press that she works at
>It's a lot more busy during the day, cars are jammed around the pumps
>Poor Dash, having to slave at a cash register all night during the week for minimum wage
>Then you chuckle a bit, remembering that all she does is sleep with her head on the counter
>In the back of your mind you remember that prom costs money
>You'll need a suit, for one
>Tickets aren't cheap either
>One of these days you should find a new job somewhere
>You hatch a brilliant plan as you wait at a red light
"Hey Dash..."
>"What's up?"
"Is Pony X-press hiring for night shift?"
>Her incredulous ray scorches you from the driver's seat
>"You can't possibly be thinking about getting a job at that place."
"Why not? I need money and you could use the company."
>Dash mulls it over as she accelerates through the intersection
>"Sure, I guess, I'll take you to see the manager sometime."
"Cool."
>Thoughts of yourself getting to work with Dash make you momentarily happy
>Even if it meant working night shift
>The week was shaping up to be pretty great
"I was also thinking about how I'm going to get my suit for the prom."
>"I have a friend that can help you with that, she's a little uppity but has good taste in clothes."
"Will it be pricey?"
>For whatever reason, Dash laughs
>"Anon, if I vouch for you and you ask nicely, I'm sure she'll be the one paying you."
"Your friend sounds really generous."
>"You have no idea."
>As the conversation comes to a close, you turn into the parking lot of Dash's apartment
>"Let's go get clean."

>Being a fine gentlemen, you climb into the back and get Dash's bike out
>Wheeling it along, you follow her into the lobby, where the janitor is scrubbing the floor
>As you walk past him, Dash raises a hand in greeting
>"Hey Sparky."
>He grunts grumpily in response
>Probably because of all the mud coming off the bike
>Dash hits the elevator button and you wait next to her
>When it arrives, you force the bike in like you did on Friday, this time without Dash over a shoulder
>One uneventful elevator ride later, you're leaning the bike against the wall in Dash's apartment
>"Make yourself at home, I'm gonna dump my bag in my room."
>You leave your shoes by the door, and walk in your socks to the kitchen
>Dash's essay is still on the table, and you look it over
>It's better, far better than it was before you got your hands on it
>If only you were as adept at math
>While Dash farts around in her room, you sit down on the couch and put your feet up on the coffee table
>She's got a decent TV, and you start browsing the channels for something to watch
>"Aren't you going to shower?"
>Looking up, you see Dash standing by the hallway with a towel 
>She tosses it to you and points to one of the other doors
>"Don't use up all the hot water or my landlord will kill you."
"Alright."
>Towel in hand, you walk into the bathroom as Dash goes into the kitchen for a drink
>You shut the door behind you
>Her bathroom is cleaner than the rest of the apartment
>At least in terms of hygiene
>You on the other hand...
>You're a fucking mess
>As you strip and look at yourself in the mirror, you cringe at how dirty you
>Mud is caked all over you, and there's still dry blood from the scratches and scrapes you received
>Butt naked, you turn to the shower for a much needed scrubbing

>Incredibly, it only takes you 5 minutes to figure out how it works
>Since you always take cold showers, it doesn't matter that the cold water erupts out first
>You get in, pulling the curtain closed
>A heavy sigh escapes you at the feeling of the water running down your back and head
>You look down as mud starts to splatter the floor of the shower in globs
"Jesus Christ."
>There was enough mud to plant vegetables in
>Seizing the bar of soap, you start to clean off the hard to reach places, and even more mud and grime comes off
>The door opens
>At least, you think you hear it open over the sound of water hitting your ears
>The cold water didn't give you goosebumps, but that sound sure as hell did
"Dash?"
>"So are we doing this now or later?"
>That's right...the shower
>So eager were you to clean yourself, you'd forgotten that she wanted to share
>You swallow your unease and force your voice into autopilot
"Isn't there like, a three dates rule or something."
>Her voice echos around the bathroom
>"We had dinner, and then spent two consecutive nights spooning."
>She raised a fair point
>"And don't forget about what happened the second night."
>How could you forget?
>"So I'll ask again, now or later?"
"Now... I guess."
>The curtain is drawn back abruptly
>In front of you is Dash, wrapped in nothing but a towel
>Your own nudity suddenly seems incredibly blatant
>Then Dash drops the towel

>As water hits you, you stand in shock
>The asshole in charge of your brain registers disappointment that Dash isn't very well-endowed
>Until she does a one eighty, that is
>Your teeth sink into your lip as you become an ass man in an instant
>All of the working out did her good it seems
>On her left ass cheek is a cute little tattoo of a cloud with a rainbow lightning bolt shooting out
>Whoever knew you had a tattoo fetish?
>Because you sure as fuck do now
>She turns back around and you notice that she's also clean of hair from the eyebrows down
>Probably to be more aerodynamic
>"I'll assume from your silence that you're happy?"
>You respond with silence
>"Good, now move over."
>Numb from the cold and shock you step aside as she gets in the shower with you
>And then proceeds to throw herself back out immediately
>Wow, you managed to fuck up already
>"JESUS THAT"S COLD!"
>Oh, that's right, you take freeing showers to combat eczema 
>She turns that heat up to the point where you feel like soup standing up
>"I know I said to not use all the hot water...but god damn."
>Tentatively, she gets back in the shower with you
>"That's better."
>You're merely a foot away from her as she upends a bottle of shampoo on her head
>"Scrub my back for me will you?"
>Hands working at half speed, you lather up a washcloth and start cleaning the dirt off her back
>A week ago you thought you'd be a wizard someday
>Now it seems that dream was going to die
>As you reach the lower part of her back, you accidentally poke her tattoo with your raging hard on
>"Well well well."
>It's happening Anon, you'd better beat to quarters
>"Ready to go?"
"I guess so."

>She bends over immediately, exposing herself to you
>You take a moment to look directly at her pussy
>Lawd have mercy it looks nice
>What color does cyan make with green?
>Probably white if this goes correctly
>"Shit."
"What's up?"
>"I forgot the condom."
>You watch her think through the back of her head
>"I assume you've heard of pulling out?"
"I think I can infer what it means."
>"Just do that instead, or I'll fucking kill you."
>She joking of course, but not really
>Dying sounds bad, especially now that you have something too live for
"Ok."
>Yet you don't move, still horribly unsure what the hell to do
>"You need a ticket or something?"
"Do you think you could, um..."
>She reaches around and gets a hold of you
>Her fingers feel nice
>But not nearly as nice as what comes next
>She introduces the head of your shaft with the proper spot
>"Push."
>You push, and your dreams of becoming a wizard die
>A heavy groan leaves you as her slick walls take you in
"Jesus Christ."
>Slowly, a little bit at a time, you inch forward until you can't continue
>"You doing good back there?"
"Heugh."
>"Alright, now don't move a muscle."
>You're damn near finishing already, not that you'd tell her
>But you stay where you are anyway
>Before your eyes, her butt starts jiggling as she bounces it around 
>With your erection still inside her

>All senses other than pleasure evaporate as your stamina drains like a level 1 Skyrim character
>You remember her promise to kill you, and yank yourself free when you pass the point of no return
>The first spurt has enough momentum to fly clean over her head, hitting the shower wall
>The rest makes a floral pattern on her back
>Water from the shower head cleans it off quickly as she turns back to face you
>"Not bad for a newbie."
"Not bad? That was like... 30 seconds."
>"Meh. I'll get you going pretty good in time."
>She shuts off the water and climbs out of the shower as you stay slumped against the wall
>If only dad could see you now...
>Wait...fuck that, that's weird
>"Want to watch or movie or something?"
>You nod at the shower head, mentally and physically drained 
>As Dash leaves the bathroom to put on clothes, you can't help but appreciate that she plans to keep you around
>Maybe not being an asshole would work out well in the long run
>You towel yourself off and put your relatively clean clothes back on
>In the living room, you sit down on the couch
>Dash comes in from the kitchen with a bowl of popcorn
>She plops down next to you, snuggling into you like those nights on the campout
>"I hope you like Tarantino."
"Who doesn't?"
>She puts Netflix on and starts up Inglorious Basterds 
"I had no idea you were into this sort of thing."
>"Have you met me?"
>True, Dash was hardly a stereotypical female
>She was a headbanging, military enthusiast, glutinous, bike riding tomboy
>You two were a perfect fucking match
>Content, fulfilled, and tired beyond words, you take a handful of popcorn and watch Nazis die

>Eventually, it's time to go
>As much as you'd like to stay at Dash's forever, you need to go home and actually sleep
"I'll see you in school tomorrow alright?"
>"Hell yeah you will. I'll also take you to see my boss."
>Her expression is grave
"Come on, how bad can it be?"
>"Pretty bad."
"Well, maybe we'll get lucky and find something better somewhere else."
>"We aren't that lucky though."
>You think about the last few days, everything that happened to you
"Speak for yourself. Optimism can go a long way."
>She rolls her eyes and gives you a good natured punch in the chest
>"Just drive safe meathead."
>You leave, heart as light as a feather
>As you exit the lobby of the building, you take in the night sky above you
>The stars aren't nearly as visible in the city as they are from the mountains
>Shame, you'll need to take Dash on more campouts
>You get in the truck and head home, hoping that your dad wasn't worried sick about you
>Being late was a new occurrence, and he probably wasn't used to it yet 
>When you get to the house, the windows are dark except for the living room
>Inside, you find your dad snoring away as the TV runs 
>He's in his element, it's time for you to go to yours
>You boot up your computer in your room before you go to bed
>Besides a few random spam e-mails and the like, you have a message from Pinkie
>[ANON, MEET ME IN THE CAFETERIA TOMORROW :P]
>Rule 31, nice
>For the first time in years, you don't bother jerking it before bed
>You don't need to
>As you settle into your pillow, you can't help but appreciate life outside your bedroom
>If only you'd gotten out sooner...
>Tonight you don't lie awake for hours, instead, sleep drags you away almost immediately

>Pirates, rum, sea shanties, and booty fill your dreams again
>Until...
>"DEATH, IS A PREFERABLE ALTERNATIVE...TO COMMUNISM."
>The patriotic roar of Liberty Prime pulls you from your slumber unceremoniously
>Sometimes you wonder why you have that stupid soundboard as an alarm
>Then you remember it's because you suck Bethesda's giant cock
>As you climb out of bed and start to dress for school, you blow a kiss to the Pre-Order recipient tacked to the wall
>Fallout 4, get hype Anon
>Hopefully getting involved with Dash wouldn't take away the time you need for one last fling with the one
>As you leave the room, you smell eggs and bacon cooking downstairs
>Your dad is in the kitchen, whistling as he fries breakfast on the stove
>"I didn't hear you come home last night. Did you go see that lady friend of yours?"
"Yeah, we watched a bunch of movies and stuff."
>"Is that all?"
>He turns from the stove, food in hand, and gives you a very knowing look
>Don't take the bait Anon, remember you still don't have a curfew
"No, we also shot up a liquor store and packed a few bowls."
>"Sounds like fun. Now eat up and get to school."
>You and him tuck in next to each other, the chair across from you stays as empty as ever
"I might be getting a new job today."
>"Where at?"
"With Dash, working nights at her gas station."
>A fleeting look of concern crosses his face, but he represses it
>"Well, good luck, hope you guys don't end up like that liquor store."
>He winks at you as you put your plate in the sink
>In the hallway you grab your messenger bag instead of your backpack and go to the garage to get your bike
>It's too beautiful of a day to drive the truck
>You're also out of gas money... again
>Bag snug across your chest, you plug in your music player and head to school

>It isn't rush hour quite yet, and you fly down the bike lane of Canterlot's main street toward the school
>In the distance you see the towering skyscrapers of Canterlot's business sector
>Maybe wearing both headphones was dumb, but you haven't been hit yet
>As you go past Sugarcube corner, you see a few of your classmates sitting outside with their coffees
>You wave to them, which is odd, since you're not usually that outgoing
>Something about you was quite different as of late
>All thanks to Dash, of course
>When you pull up to the front door of the school, you see that Dash's bike is already chained up to the bike rack
>You leave your own next to hers
>Music still pumping in your ears, you push open the door and swagger into the foyer like an alpha
>In reality, you were walking along silently with sweat dripping down your head like a jackass
>But you were still lost in a world of adrenaline and bass drops
>If you died on a bike, you'd die happy as a clam
>You walk past the door of the cafeteria, head bobbing to the beat
>The lyrics of your current song are interrupted by your own name, and you stop to listen
>"NONNY! OVER HERE!"
>Pinkie waves frantically from a booth in the upperclassmen section of the cafeteria
>You smile and walk over to her
>After throwing your bag on the floor, you slide into the booth across from her
"What's up Pinkie?"
>She pulls out her list from the week prior and lays it on the table
>"Did you get to know Dash?"
"Very well."
>She crosses of Step two of her list
>"Step 3. Get to know your date."
>Your eyebrows raise in confusion
"I don't get it. Wasn't that step two?"
>"No, I mean get to KNOW your date."
>If you still had any misconceptions, she shatters them with a lewd wink
"Can I see your pen?"
>She gives it to you, and you cross off step 3 for her
"Chekd."
>"Really?"
>You nod in confirmation
>"YEAH NONNY!"

>As you give her a celebratory high five, it occurs to you how much of a bro she is
>Between her and Dash, it's like you don't actually have any friends who are girls
"So what's step 4?"
>"You need to get a tux. And tickets."
>Fuck, you gave Fluttershy the last of your money
>You'd have to bum some cash from your dad, not that he'd say no, but you don't like being in debt
>Hopefully the job today would work out alright
"I'll work on it I guess."
>"I already talked to a friend of mine who can help you get an outfit ready."
"I think Dash mentioned something like that. What's her name again?"
>"Rarity. You'll be meeting her today after school."
>Rarity, definitely not the name of a bro
"Cool, by the way, have you seen Dash? Her bike was outside."
>"I'm right here."
>You look up and spot Rainbow Dash ascending the stairs to the raised section
>She's got her normal attire again, although her jacket still looks a little worse for wear
"Hey Dash."
>She sits down next to you and puts a piece of paper in front of you
>"I talked to my boss, he said to show up at 5:00."
"Just like that?"
>She shrugs
>"They don't exactly hire rocket scientists."
"Of course not, they hired you right?"
>Your tease earns you 5 knuckles to the arm
>"Just don't be late, or you'll make me look bad."
"Implying you could look any worse."
>As the bell rings you get yet another punch to the arm, this one harder
>But Dash rubs her hand across your hair as she gets up
>"I'll see you later meathead."
>You heft your bag and make your way to your first class of the day

>The escapades of class to class life are mind numbingly boring
>After a few hours of staring at your desk, you sit in the lecture hall, reading
>Since riding your bike like a maniac is usually your favorite thing, you like to balance it out with a book on occasion
>So enraptured in your book, you don't notice the chair next to you fill
>"What are you reading darling?"
>You look up and register slight shock at the girl next to you
>She's awfully good looking, and seems to have custom clothes on from head to toe
>And her eyes, god damn
>Her eyes are freaking incredible
>Unsure what to say, and still lost in her pupils, you tilt the book so she can read the title
>She cranes her neck to see the author's name
>"Ah, I myself prefer Fitzgerald, but to each his own I suppose."
>On a normal day, attractive girls don't talk to you
"You must be Rarity."
>She shakes your hand, her fingers are ridiculously soft
>"And you must be Anonymous."
"Indeed I am."
>"I spoke to Pinkie today, she said that you need a suit."
"I do, but first I'll say that I have no money."
>As Dash had warned you, she waves your concerns away
>"It's no trouble dear, any friend of Dash is a friend of mine."
>This is shaping up really damn well
>Maybe next you'd win some free tickets in a raffle or some shit
>She seizes you hand and starts writing on your palm with a sharpie
>"This is my address, you can show up today at 4:00 and we'll work on your measurements."
>The sharpie tickles your hand, and you suddenly remember that you're in close proximity to an attractive female
>Sweat drips down you neck
"I'll see you then... I guess."
>The afternoon bell sentences you to another half day of torture, and you turn away from Rarity to exit the room

>A few more hours, blah blah blah
>Teenage drama, blah blah blah
>And then you're back outside the school, unchaining your bike next to Rainbow Dash
>"You're going to see Rarity right?"
"Aye. Indeed I am."
>"Just don't forget about getting to the gas station by 5:00 remember?"
>You look at the piece of paper that has Rarity's address on it, as well as the gas station's
"I won't forget."
>"Promise?"
>You take her shoulders and stare her directly in the eyes
"I promise."
>Odds are you'll forget, but in the meantime you want Dash to stay happy
>To your utter delight, she gives you a peck on the lips before she gets on her bike to leave
>"I'll see you later then."
>You wave at her back sadly, a little content that you'll see her in a couple hours
>After another glance at Rarity's address, you realize it's in one of the neighborhoods you used to landscape in
>In fact, it's only a few minutes away 
>You take off, messenger bag swinging behind you as you cut across the road in front of the school
>This time you don't bother with music, getting pumped to go fast isn't a priority
>You casually cruise along, looking at the gigantic houses of every shitlord in Canterlot 
>Feeling a little bit envious
>Don't be an edgy bitch Anon, you have a shitload to be grateful for
>You see a few of the houses you once spent many days mulching and cutting at
>All the money from those days was gone now, in the bank accounts of Bethesda, Redbubble, and every cute waitress in the state
>This gas station job had better be worth it
>You find the address in not time, and chain your bike to the mailbox
>Adjusting your clothes to look presentable, you walk to the door
>Before you knock, you take your bandanna out to wipe your sweaty ass down a bit
>Then you knock on the door

>It swings open almost immediately, as if she was waiting for you
>"Do come in Darling, make yourself at home."
>She gestures around to the first floor, which is as lavish as the exterior of the house
"Nice place."
>"Thank you, it's my parents, obviously, but they're out of town for a while and I'm in charge."
>You take off your shoes, assuming that they don't want dirt and shit on the floor
>"Actually, I'm hosting a post prom party here. Pinkie's getting it organized."
"Alright."
>Rarity leads you through the hallway toward the kitchen
>"You and Dash are invited, of course. It should be a night to remember."
"Yeah, we'll be there."
>Your original post prom idea was a lot less exciting than a party at Rarity's
>Mostly because it involved your right hand and a box of tissues
>"Would you care for a drink?"
"I'd love some water actually."
>She gets you a glass of icewater, and you put it to your neck before drinking it straight
>The ride over was fucking hot
>"If you'd follow me then, I'll take you to make workshop."
>You follow her not to her room, but instead the basement
"You have a workshop?"
>"Of sorts, it's just a place for me to be creative without getting in anybodies way."
>At the bottom of her basement stairs, she turns the lights on and your jaw drops 
>You've seen some nicely upgraded basements, but her's takes the cake
>Bedsides the fact that it's air conditioned, it has a fully stocked bar and every single bar game in existence
>You make a mental note to play a game of pool with Dash again
"Jesus."
>She grins at your expression
>"I'm glad you like it, I'm hoping that post prom will be fun."
>Her feet take her to a side door, which she opens to reveal a room that looks like a war zone for clothes
>"This is my workspace, I'll be putting your suit together in here this week."
"Wow."
>"Right then, let's get down to business."

>She spends god knows how much time taking measurements
>In the other room, you can hear somebody start up a game of bubble hockey
>As grateful as you are that she's doing this for you, you start to get bored
>"Alright dear, I'd say I've got enough here."
"Awesome."
>"One last question though, do you prefer a bowtie or a tie?"
>You'd never wore a bowtie before
"I'll stick to a tie if it's alright."
>"That should be fine darling, I'll make sure you look smashing."
>You exit her workroom and find a trio of girls playing bubble hockey
>"Oh, Anon, this is my Sister Sweetie Bell, and her friends Applebloom and Scootaloo."
>You do a double take at the last name
>So does the purple haired bike mechanic, when she hears your own
"Hey Scootaloo, it's been a while."
>"Sup Anon, how'd the bike trip go?"
"Pretty good, ended up eating every single one of those Clif Bars. Thanks again, by the way."
>She gives you an aloof nod and looks back at the game
>"No problem man."
>It's her versus the other two, and she's getting stomped
"You want a hand?"
>Her eyes light up while she tries to hide her enthusiasm
>"Yeah sure, you take defense."
>As you get next to her, you find that she reminds you a lot of Rainbow Dash

>After a solid thrashing, you and Scootaloo high five triumphantly
>"That was awesome Anon."
"Damn straight."
>You take out your phone too see if you have any texts
>Nothing, as usual
>Then you look at the time
>4:48 PM

>Well Anon, you dumbass, you were right
>You forgot
>You stupid dumbass
>Without saying goodbye, you fly up the stairs 
>Rarity is sat in the living room, watching TV and sewing some shit together
"ThanksagainRarityseeyalater!"
>"Leaving already Anonymous?"
>You're out the door before you can answer
>Hopefully you'd have some time to explain later
>It's not a warm anymore, and you look at the flag, which is now flapping in the wind
>Mother nature hates you apparently
>In a rush, you pull your ipod and bike keys out
>As the lock falls off, you leave it on the ground and put in your headphones
>Earlier wasn't the time for speed, but now sure as hell was
>There was only one song that could get you pumped enough to make it on time
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=luJJBeCFeM0
>Matching the beat with each foot pump, you tank for the main road of Canterlot
>Luckily, the situation forces adrenaline to start pumping rampantly, and you make reasonable time
>The traffic is backed up for days, and you jump the curb onto the sidewalk
>Narrowly avoiding pedestrians and roadsigns, you continue toward the gas station
>Up ahead, a businessman in a dark brown trenchcoat walks out of a post office
>You're too close to avoid him
>There's only one thing to do
>You stiffarm the poor bastard out of the way to avoid a collision
"SORRY BRO!"
>Your shout hopefully doesn't get lost to the wind
>Despite how badly fucked you are at this point, you find yourself having fun
>The speed, the danger, the adrenaline
>You could really get used to this sort of thing
>The gas station comes into view as you fly through one last intersection, missing a semi-truck by a couple feet
>Tossing the bike aside, you push open the door as your phone shows 5:00 PM
>Behind the counter, Dash looks at you, puzzled by your appearance
>Next to her is a greasy looking dude who speaks first
>"At least he's punctual."

>You lean against the frame, fighting the sensation of a bowie knife in your ribcage
>Oranges invade your mouth again in force
>"So, Dash tells me that you're looking for work?"
"Yeah...*gasp...I'd love a job."
>He walks around the counter and puts a Pony X-press hat on your head
>"You're hired."
>What
"That was quick, I don't even...know your name."
>"The names Diesel Fuel kid, and I'm going home. Show him the ropes Dash."
>RD: "Can do. See ya later Diesel"
>And then he just leaves
"I don't even..."
>"He's like that."
>You're thoughts are sluggish in the wake of your exertion
"I need to get my bike."
>You half limp back outside and secure your bike next to Dash's
>When you enter the building again, Dash is cashing out some dude buying lottery tickets
>"Have a bucking good day."
>The lack of enthusiasm in her voice almost makes you laugh
>You join her behind the counter as the last customer leaves
>"So are you ready to learn about the fun life of being a cash register jockey?"
"Do I need to say that catchphrase every time?"
>Dash nods and you grin from pain and amusement
"Let's do it."
>For an hour, she teaches you about how to do your new job
>Fewer and fewer customers come in as it gets later and later
>Each and every one of them you treat as nicely as possible, in vain
>Around midnight, you've already been fantasizing about killing one or two of them with your bare hands
"I have to admire your gumption Dash."
>"Why's that?"
"This sucks."
>She puts her feet up on the counter and opens a soda from the coolers
>"Yeah."

>For while longer, you and Dash sit together in the dying light
>She drinks her soda and turns on the radio to her favorite station
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eHT5KNoWjzY
>As you sit with her silence, listening to music, you start to feel better
>There's no reason to have an edge right now, life's good
>After all, you only have a few more hours to go
>After a while she suddenly looks at you from her spot in the folding chair
>"Hey egghead. Feel like doing some writing?"
>Writing?
"What are you talking about?"
>To your surprise, she lifts her skirt up for you to get a look at her compression shorts
>"You know...writing."
>Right...write
>Why not, there's nothing else to do anyway
"What about the cameras?"
>"They don't work."
>Wow, you need to get a different job asap
"Alright, sure."
>She stands up and leans against the counter while you kneel down in front of her
>Her skirt hits the floor in front of you and you start to inch her shorts down
"What sort of poetry do you want this time around?"
>"Whatever man, just get on with it."
>Just as you start to get a glimpse of her folds, the window is illuminated by headlights
>Dash drops to the floor, pulling her clothes back up
>You put your hat back on, confused as to who needs gas at 1:00 in the morning anyway
>The car in the parking lot is a god damned Cadillac, a nice one
>You can't see the driver all that well as they walk to the door, but they seem to stop next to the bikes
>Dash jumps up next to you, fully clothed again
>The mystery man walks in, and you look at him up and down, from his slicked back black hair...
>...all the way to his dark brown trenchcoat and black eye

>Up close, you recognize the fucker from his TV commercials
>His name is Filthy Rich, and he's Canterlot's leading lawyer for wealthy businessmen
>You done goofed Anon
>He walks up to the counter and looks you dead in the eye, almost like he's sizing you up
>You offer him the friendliest grin you can muster in your state
"Welcome to Pony X-press, how can I help you today?"
>The weakness in your voice is incredible
>Dash's voice, however, is as clear as ever
>"Dude, what happened to your eye?"
>Why Dash, WHY?
>Filthy Rich takes out a pocket mirror and looks at himself in it
>"Ask your friend here."
>Dash looks at you with concern
>"Anon, what did you do?"
>There is no moisture in your throat to swallow nervously
>You haven't been fucked this badly since that night in the shower with Dash
"Look man..."
>He cuts you off in an instant
>FR: "Listen kid, I'm not mad at you."
>Nope, you heard him wrong
>You dig a finger in your ear, hoping to dig out the earwax trying to save you from doom
"Come again?"
>FR: "I'm not mad, on the contrary..."
>He throws a business card on the counter in front of you
>FR: "The way you were riding that bike, I was impressed. And I'd like to hire you."
>Shock goes through you as his words echo in your ears
"Hire me?"
>"Have you ever heard of a bicycle courier?"
>You'd seen a movie once, otherwise you didn't know all that much
"You want me to be a bicycle courier?"
>"You and your friend, if she's interested, I'm always looking for young talent."
>RD: "Cool."
>"Just meet me in my office tomorrow when you kids have a chance, I'll explain further then."

>He walks out the door, the bell ringing behind him
>You and Dash stand next to each other in roaring silence for a minute
>The radio stopped playing music a while ago
>"So...what exactly did you do to him?"
"I punched him in the eye to get him out of my way."
>Man, it sounds really bad when you say it like that
>"And now he wants to hire you."
"Yeah."
>The Cadillac's lights drive off into the night
>"Anon, you are the luckiest fucking guy I've ever met."
>Nothing comes to mind that could contradict her statement
>You nod in agreement
>"And apparently he's gonna hire me too, so I have to thank you for getting me out of here."
"It's literally nothing, I didn't know that was going to happen."
>"Whatever, I still owe you one."
>The shock starts to dissipate after a while, and eventually its time to leave
"Are we going to lock up?"
>"In a minute, I still want to do something first."
>She starts going through the drawers behind the counter
>Her hand comes out with a box of condoms
>"Writing seems kind of tame at this point. How about we just screw in the bathroom?"
>Someone, somewhere, really likes you Anon
"You're a very abrupt individual Dash."
>She grabs your hand and starts dragging you to the other side of the gas station
>"Live fast Anon, that's the rule."
>The second half of that rule is Die Young, but you don't mention it in light of getting laid
>The inside of the bathroom is oddly nice for a shitty gas station
>In fact, it's nicer than most of the bathrooms you've ever seen
>Dash sits up on the sink counter and pulls you close
>"This time it'll be more than 30 seconds."

>George Costanza creeps up behind Dash at the implication that you could possibly do better than last time
>Before he can swing his bat, you speak
"I'll do my best."
>Dash's legs wrap around you and pull you into her
>She leans forward and sticks her tongue in your mouth
>This time, you try to experiment with fighting back, and find it to be rather arousing
>Your dick seems to think so, at least
>Her fingers open up your belt, and your cargo shorts hit the floor with a smash
>Hopefully your phone wasn't broken
>She herself lifts her skirt and pulls down her compression shorts
>While she does that, you unleash yourself from the tent of your boxers
>Who would have thought you'd find the courage to get your own dick out in from of a girl so soon?
>Now, your bareback member points at her waiting hole, which already looks reasonably wet
>For some reason,the sight of her still in her shirt and jacket with skirt pulled up is better than her being naked
>And she looked fucking incredible naked
>There's not a chance in hell you'll be able to finish her off first
>With two of your fingers, you start your routine of writing on her slit
>She begins writhing against your fingers, moaning happily
>The wetness increases drastically over time
"How am I doing so far?"
>"Shut up, keep going."
>You oblige her with gusto, actually sticking your fingers into her to rub her insides
>Before too long, she brings you into another sloppy makeout session
>Then your fingers get crushed in her pussy as she moans into your mouth
>You did it Anon!
>At least...you think you did, who the hell knows?
>Her heavy breathing fills the bathroom as she pulls a condom from the pack
>"Your turn."

>She rolls the condom onto you, and you register that it feels odd
>"Go ahead."
>You put your covered head where your fingers recently explored, and push it in
>It's very slick, and very warm
>In the shower, you hadn't really thought of the warmth that much
>Now it registers a LOT more, and it feels VERY nice
>Your own breathing becomes ragged as you push in and out slowly
>She wraps her arms around you, giving you her bedroom eyes
>You venture in further and further, until each thrust stops at the balls
>As you hump her into the mirror behind her, you try to fight the urge to blow as long as you can
>Dash actually sounds like she's enjoying herself
>A couple of the lewd moans don't come from you as far as you can tell
"So I'm good to cum inside?"
>"If you want."
>That sounds nice, really nice
>You give her a couple more good ruts and feel the floodgates burst
>Stopping with yourself fully inside, you allow it all to end
>As her walls massage your shaft, you fill the inside of the condom with your cum
>Your mind goes blank from the pleasure of it all
"Fuck."
>You pull out when you're done and drag the condom off
>Into the trash it goes, along with many discarded opinions
>"Not bad, you almost had me for a second time there."
>You pull up your shorts and underwear
>She does the same, and looks at herself in the mirror
"Next time I'll do it without my fingers."
>"I'm looking forward to it. Now let's go home."
"Your place?"
>She looks at you incredulously as you walk out the gas station's door
>"Do you want to ride all the way home at this time of night?"
>It's true, Dash does live a lot closer
"Alright, sleepover at Rainbow Dash's it is then."

>You shoot a quick text to your dad that you won't be home tonight
>He'll understand, hopefully
>The bike lock you usually use is still outside Rarity's house, and you thank god your bike isn't stolen
>The night is cold, across the road a flag gently waves in the breeze
"How long will this be on bikes?"
>"It'll be about 20 minutes. Watch out for cars."
>Before you leave, you put on your track jacket you keep in the bottom of your bag
>You also keep the Pony X-press hat, since it'll be the only payment you receive
>It's not horribly easy to see at night, so you just follow Dash's reflector out of the parking lot
>Next to her in the street, you ride side by side through the cool night
>There's no traffic, and you have the road all to yourselves
"So what do you think about that job offer?"
>"It sounds too good to be true."
>You feel a slight twitch of panic that she's not as enthusiastic as you are
"Come on, don't be a naysayer, it'll be fun!"
>"Riding a bike around for a living?"
>You pass by the darkened windows of the shops along main street
"That's the dream."
>"Really? That's your dream?"
>Well, not really, but your actual dream died not too long ago
>That's okay though, there's always room for new dreams
"Um...yeah."
>"Whatever gets me out of the gas station I guess."
"That's the spirit!"
>When her apartment complex comes into view, you look past it to the business sector of Canterlot across the river
>Even this late at night, some of the buildings still have lights on inside
>Maybe tomorrow you'd be working there
>Oh the phat stacks to be made
>You'd rub your hands together, but they're occupied with the handles of your bike
>Dash jumps the curb into her parking lot, and you do a wheelie to follow her

>The elevator ride is a lot more cramped with two bikes, but you have no lock 
>You leave your diamondback leaning against the wall in her apartment next to her bike
>"You want something to eat?"
"I'm good, I just want to sleep to be honest."
>"I heard that. Follow me."
>You tail her down the hallway as she tosses her things pell-mell around the apartment
>No wonder it's so messy
>"I'd share my bed... but it's not big enough for both of us."
"Whatever, I can take the couch."
>"Feel like watching a movie again?"
>Falling asleep to a movie actually sounds perfect
"Yeah, that'll work."
>You and Dash flop onto the couch and put your feet on her coffee table 
>She starts up Pulp Fiction this time
>You put an arm around her shoulders and draw her close
>Out of the corner of your eye, you see her give you a smug grin
>"Look at you getting all affectionate."
"What can I say? You're a bad influence on me."
>Implying that you aren't becoming a bad influence on yourself
>After a while, Dash's breathing subsides to gentle snoring
>Despite how tired you are, you don't sleep yet
>Life was moving very fast for you ever since she accosted you in the cafeteria
>And like Dash said earlier, life fast
>And die young
>You shake your head, being paranoid wouldn't do you any good
>Optimism was the key here, like in every situation
>Your eyes grow heavy, sleep takes you away

>"EMBRACE DEMOCRACY OR YOU WILL BE ERADICATED."
>Good morning liberty prime, you loud robot
>Next to you on the couch, Rainbow Dash jumps out of her skin
>"What the fuck was that!?"
"Uh...I can explain."
>She shakes her head as she rubs the crust from her eyes
>You try desperately not to burst into laughter
>Of all the dumb things to forget, you forgot to turn off your phone alarm
>"Whatever man, what time is it anyway?"
"Time to go to school."
>She groans sadly into a pillow next to you
"At least you don't have to go back to that gas station."
>"Oh yeah. We have to meet that lawyer guy today right?"
"Yeah. After school he said."
>Dash goes to the kitchen and starts making coffee
>"We riding bikes again?"
>The guy did say you'd be riding bikes as your job
"Might as well, I still don't have money to buy gas."
>You look at your phone, and see that your dad left you a text message
>[Please don't forget about dinner tonight]
>Dinner...
>Fuck, today was your dad's birthday
>Anon, you need a planner or something to remember all this shit
>Too bad you have no money for a gift
"Looks like you're improvising for the third year in a row moron."
>"Improvising what?"
>Did you say that out loud?
"My dad's birthday present."
>"His birthday is today?"
>Suddenly, you get struck with a new idea
"Yeah. You should come. We can tell him about our new jobs after the interview."
>Dash seems to mull it over
>"Sure, he seemed pretty cool. Besides, if we're going to be a couple I ought to know your parents."

>Wow, she managed to throw two curve balls with one sentence
>Which to swing at first?
>Fuck it, get it out of the way
"Parent."
>"What?"
>You pick your words very carefully before you continue
"It's just my dad and me."
>Her eyes show confusion, then embarrassment
>"Sorry man, I didn't know."
"Don't worry about it, now...what was that you were saying about being a couple?"
>"You don't consider us a couple?"
>That's a good question, you were starting to worry that she was only interested in banging and prom
"I don't know what to think, I'm still knew to this game."
>There's more sadness in your voice than you intended
>Dash takes your hand and looks you in the eyes
>"Of course we're a couple meathead. I couple of renegade idiots maybe, but we can be a couple."
>That makes you happy
>"I'll stick with you, unless you turn out to be a raging douche like the other guys were."
>You give a chuckle as the tension breaks
"I'm too modest for that, you know me."
>You grab your bag and jacket, she gets her backpack 
>Together you cram the bikes out the door and into the elevator
>She stands really close to you the whole time, out of sympathy maybe
>You don't want sympathy, you just want someone to go on bike rides with again
>And Rainbow Dash was the one to do it
>Your dad's birthday was today as well, and you wanted it to go well
>As you walk through the lobby of the building to leave for school, you try to think of a gift you can get
>He likes pie
>The school has home economics kitchens, but they're usually locked
>Some of the dumb skills you learned on the internet start to come back to you
>A brilliant, rebellious plan starts to form in your head

>The bike ride to school goes smooth, despite rush hour traffic
>Canterlot has pretty good bikes lanes in the residential area
>At school, you try to give Rainbow Dash a hug farewell before she goes to class
>She smacks your hands away and kisses you instead
>Words can't begin to describe the relief you feel that she's as into this as you are
>Then your daily routine starts, save for the fact that you have to plan a questionable excursion 
>You manage to get a hold of a hairpin and allen wrench before lunch
>During one of your first classes, you send Pinkie a text asking her to meet you in the home ec rooms during lunch
>If anybody can help you make a pie and not get caught while doing it, she can
>Taking little stupid risks was turning out to be a lot of fun
>10 minutes before the bell rings for lunch, you find yourself sitting in English
>For once, you aren't paying attention to the teacher
>Besides, you'd already finished reading whatever bullshit book was currently on the list
>This month was The Poisonwood Bible
>Fucking religious feminazi garbage, you belong in the trash
"Mrs. Spoiler, can I go to the bathroom?"
>Your teacher looks at the clock
>"Hold it until lunch please."
"I can't."
>Everybody starts to give you weird looks
>"Fine Anonymous, just come back when you're done so I know you aren't up to anything."
>You get up and grab your messenger bag as she writes you a hallpass
>Taking it from her hand without a thank you, you head into the hallway
>8 minutes, you'd better hustle
>The silence in the hallway makes you paranoid that you'll be caught
>You walk briskly, and arrive at the room you need with 5 minutes to spare
>The hallway is empty for the time being
>You kneel down and start raking the cylinder
>30 seconds in, the cylinder rotates and you let out a relieved sigh
>Thank you internet, for teaching you the novice art of raking locks
>You close the door behind you and enter the kitchen
>"HI NONNY!"

>Pinkie waves to you by the stove, where you see a pie already baking
>You don't move an inch in your confusion
"I don't understand."
>"You said you needed to make a pie during lunch, so I made you a pie!"
>Her enthusiasm fills the room like mustard gas
>It smells like blueberries
>As the bell for lunch rings, you realize that you picked a school lock when you could have just knocked
>The hallway outside the door fills with the bustling of students
>"Dashie's gonna meet us here for lunch."
>Your plan had been to secretly throw a pie together for your dad's birthday as quick as possible
>Now you were going to be having lunch alone in a secluded room with Pinkie and Dash
>The door opens and Dash walks in with a mountain of pizza on a lunch tray
>There was also going to be pizza
>So much yes
>RD: "Hey guys."
>She puts the pizza on the table and Pinkie attacks it ferociously 
>With Pinkie occupied, Dash sits on the counter next to you
>"So how's your day going?"
"Good, I broke into a classroom a few minutes ago."
>"Sounds fun, you should have brought me with you."
"I will next time."
>You sit with her at the table to eat
"Ready for the interview today?"
>"I am, I also spoke to Rarity about your concerns about dancing."
>You choke on a bite of pizza
"What did you say?"
>"I just told her that you'd like to learn the basics. She agreed to teach you tomorrow after school in the orchestra room."
"That sounds fun."
>"She also said that she'd have the suit ready."
>Between Dash's stomach, Pinkie's gluttony, and your own male appetite, the pizza doesn't last long
>When lunch ends, Pinkie promises to drop the pie off at your house for you, since you have no car
>Then you throw yourself back into the waves of students on their way to class

>High School life is dull, to say the least
>You watch the clock for the rest of the day, waiting for the final bell
>Giddiness runs through you at the thought of your potential new job
>You're also nervous, bike couriers were always at risk of getting injured
>Or killed, very violently
>But you already had a death wish on bicycles, so you might as well get paid for it
>The final bell takes mercy on you at the end of the day
>Dash is hanging out by your locker
>"Let's get going, I want to beat traffic."
>You throw the bulk of your books into your locker and lock it shut
"Have you ever ridden into the inner city?"
>You voice your concerns as you and Dash make for the front doors
>"A few times, but only at night without any traffic."
"This should be interesting then."
>However, your concerns about traffic are in vain
>Outside by the street, a dark grey sedan with a bike rack on the top in waiting by the statue
>A jacketed driver stands next to it with a sign that reads "Anonymous."
"Damn."
>"Awesome."
>First you get your bikes from the rusty bike rack by the entrance
>Then you walk over hesitantly and wave at the guy, who addresses you through his sunglasses
>"Anonymous?"
"Yeah."
>He opens the back door and gestures inside the car
>"Mr. Rich sent a car to pick you up."
>The gravity of the situation dawns on you slowly
>You hit the big leagues, you lucky bastard
>Dash gets in first, apparently not willing to wait for you to come to your senses
>You get in after her as the driver straps the bikes to the bike rack
>Dash already has the backseat radio synced to her ipod as you settle in 
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JkhX5W7JoWI
>You'd scream from happiness, but you can't find words

>The driver tips his hat as he gets in and turns onto the road smoothly
>It's odd not hearing the rattle of an engine, but you aren't in your truck today
>Today you were being driven to your dream job with your new girlfriend next to you
>In a nice ass car, with some banging beats
>You pinch yourself as hard as you can, and grin smugly at the pain
>The driver hauls ass, and crosses the bridge to Canterlot's business sector in short order
>This area is also familiar to you, you used to do landscaping outside office buildings
>Everything over here is so fast paced, so alive compared to the rest of Canterlot
>Through the tinted window, you greedily drink it all in
>Nothing on a screen could give you this much satisfaction
>Except for Fallout 3 maybe, but let's face it Anon, nobody can beat Bethesda
>Nobody
>Driver: "Up ahead is Mr. Riches Building."
>He points at a towering skyscraper, in the heart of the city
>Your eyes follow the floor up one by one
>Damn it's tall
>The driver pulls up the front of the building and parks by the front doors
>Before you have a chance to get out, a doorman opens the door for you, and gestures toward the building
>Driver: "Your bikes will be delivered to you after your meeting with Mr. Rich."
>He drives toward a nearby parking garage as you and Dash walk for the door
>Two school kids strolling into the lobby of a luxurious office building, what a sight
>You pause together inside the lobby, where a fountain sprays water next to a receptionists desk
>Behind it you see a pretty young secretary with Red and Yellow hair
>R:" Hey Sunset!"
>Vaguely you remember this girl, she goes to your school and used to be horribly unpopular
>SS: "Hey guys, your here for the interview with Mr. Rich?"
"Yeah."
>She presses a button on the desk and speaks into a microphone
>SS: "Mr. Rich, your couriers are here."
>Silence, then chewing, then the drawl you remember from so many TV ads
>"Good, send them up."

>He cuts the connection
>SS: "You guys can take the elevator right there, all the way to the top floor."
"Thanks Sunset."
>SS: "Good luck!"
>This inside of the elevator is a lot nicer than the one in Dash's apartment
>And you get to look out at Canterlot's skyline as it flies upward
>"I don't even know what to say man."
>Dash looks out at the skyline too, towards her apartment
>Her arms are crossed, and her face is probably similar to your own
>Starstruck and dumbly happy
>The elevator halts smoothly at the top floor and deposits you both into a long hallway
>You and Dash look down it
>To describe that it looks down you as well would be reasonably close to how you feel
>Each step forward is intimidating to you, the walls foreboding
>This building belongs to a man you gave a black eye to Anon, stay on your guard
>Yet another secretary sits outside the door you assume is Filthy Rich's office
>This one doesn't even look up from her phone, she just presses a button and the door lock clicks open
>You lead the way into the office, Dash following behind you
>There he is, the man himself, Filthy Rich
>He gets up from his desk and spreads his arms in greeting
>"Anonymous! Rainbow Dash! I'm glad you made it alright."
>Your own voice is cautious as you look at his still swollen eye
"Mr. Rich, nice to see you again."
>He claps a hand on your shoulder
>"Call me Filthy son, don't worry about formalities."
"Ok Filthy...actually I'll stick to Mr. Rich if you don't mind."
>"Not at all, please...have a seat."
>He returns to his desk, and points to a couple leather backed chairs across from himself
>"I'd offer you a drink but I dare say you aren't old enough."
>Dash starts to open her mouth but you give her a look
>That rascal, Dash
>"So, let's start talking business."

>He pours himself a whiskey and everybody sits down
>"Under my employ, you kids will be bike couriers."
"What will we be delivering?"
>Filthy Rich is one of the people who talks with his hands more than his mouth
>The damn things fly about as he slowly talks
>"Legal documents, packages, nothing that you need to be concerned about."
>RD: "Will this job be dangerous?"
>Filthy Rich runs a finger along the rim of his glass in thought
>"It would be dangerous to anybody who's unfamiliar with bicycles... or the city."
>You and Dash should be all set then
>"I'd say the only thing you need to worry about is muggers or drunk drivers."
>He shrugs his shoulders
>"And let's face it, nobody can predict those things."
>You and Dash look at each other, trying to read each other's reactions
>She doesn't look horribly concerned, so you swallow any misgivings at the thought of getting jumped
"What about pay?"
>Filthy starts taking all sorts of paperwork from his desk, pointing out important shit, blah blah blah
>"You'll each be on my payroll, this isn't freelance courier work. You'll be employees of my firm."
>Insurance and benefits, nice
>"The hourly rates will be minimum wage whenever you're clocked in and out on delivery."
>Minimum wage, what
>Dash shares your look of disbelief
>Getting paid way better than minimum was the reason you agreed to do this job, given the risk it entailed
>But then Filthy Rich puts two plain white envelopes on the desk
"You'll also get a cash bonus for every delivery, under the table... of course."
>You look inside the envelope and try not to squee at the wad of cash inside
>"Just go out and buy anything you need to get started, your first day out will be Saturday, 9:00 AM sharp."
>Dash doesn't say anything next to you
>Filthy Rich stands up and gives a shifty smile to each of you
>"Sound good?"
"Hell yeah."
>RD: "Yes."

>"Excellent."
>He points to the door
>"My daughter, at the desk outside, will run you through the paperwork. I'll see you kids on Saturday."
>Dismissed, you leave the room with Dash, where the same girl from before is still looking at her phone
>"You guys have to sign all this."
>She points at a heap of legal documents
>Fucking paperwork
>She throws a couple of pens down and goes back to tapping away at her phone
>What a snotty little shit
>There's a lot of shit to sign in terms of your new employment
>Plenty of waivers, life and limb, health insurance
>Important words and phrases run past your eyes in incoherent globs
>It's all kinds of shit you don't feel like reading now that you'll be making REAL money
>Somehow, you and Dash make a race of seeing who can initial it all faster
>Your handwriting devolves into chicken scratch by the bottom of the page
>But you manage to beat her
>When all the blank spots are filled in, you put it in a pile and push it across the desk to the girl
>Dash does the same
"Are we good to go?"
>"I don't really care."
"So...is that a yes?"
>"Sure, the elevator's that way, or can't you see?"
>The urge to smack a bitch starts to come over you, so you walk off 
>Dash also seems likely to start throwing hands
>RD: "What a little shithead."
"Agreed."
>Your feet make quiet footfalls on the plush carpet as you walk back down the hallway

>Back in the elevator, you count up the money you were given
>There's a lot, you can finally get prom tickets and gas
>Somebody really likes you Anon
>All you had to do now was enjoy the week and then start your dream job
>"So this is pretty cool."
>You look at Dash, who seems to be containing her happiness well
"Pretty cool is an understatement."
>"Pretty awesome then?"
"That's better."
>She counts her money up as well, her eyes getting wider as the number goes higher up
>"You're getting laid tonight, by the way."
"It's not MY birthday."
>"Yeah, but because of you, this is MY money."
>The elevator continues to rocket downward to the lobby
>Dash waves her envelope at you with an exasperated laugh
>"What the hell do we do with this?"
"I'm getting a new bike. And prom tickets, and one other thing..."
>"What's that?"
>The doors open and you and Dash start walking through the luxurious lobby
>Sunset waves to you and you wave back jubilantly
"What he said about muggers, and the fact that we're getting paid under the table..."
>You aren't being paranoid, you just want to be prepared
"We need protection."
>"You mean like condoms?"
>If tonight was going to go that way...
"Yes...but also a little something to discourage people who want to hurt us."
>"What did you have in mind?"
"Lets go see our friend Shrapnel about some non-lethal exposure ."
>The driver is waiting with the car outside the front door
>Driver: "Where to sir?"
>Sir, you could get used to this
"Do you mind making a quick detour?"
>He shakes his head, he must get paid well
"Canterlot Military Surplus, no rush."

>To his credit, he doesn't even look confused
>With a tip of his hat, he gets in the car and drives you and Dash to the other side of town
>You and Dash throw money at each other and jam out to the radio the whole ride
>When the driver pulls up, Dash and you get out, and see Shrapnel is the one in the gillie suit today
>Shrapnel: "If it isn't my biker friends, you here to buy something interesting this time?"
"We are."
>Shrapnel: "Head on in."
>Inside the store, you look around at all the surplus equipment again, and fight the urge to buy it all
>You need to save your money for important shit
>At the counter is a different guy, who must have been in the gillie suit last time
>His handlebar mustache sways when he talks
>Flak: "What can I get you guys?"
"We'd like to look at your...merchandise."
>Flak: "Need to do some killin, eh?
>Anon, you aren't here for a purging of the normies
>You put your hands up defensively
"No, god no. I was thinking more along the lines of self defense."
>Dash practically bounces up and down next to you in eager anticipation
>Flak reaches under the counter and comes back with a pair of black tube like things
>He extends one of them and hands it to you
>Flak: "Can't do much better than a blackjack if you'll be defending yourself. Unless you want guns."
>Before Dash has a chance to buy an arsenal of her own, you put the money down
"These will be fine, thanks."
>Dash takes hers and slides it into her boot
>Taking her hand to get her to leave, you go for the door
"See, nice and easy. And now you can defend yourself."
>She scoffs as you start crossing the parking lot
>"Implying I can't take care of myself already."
"I don't know Dash...a weak little girl like you, I doubt you'd be able to save yourself from scary city dwellers."
>Behind you, the unmistakable click of her nightstick extending is audible
>"Take that back meathead."
>You whirl around, drawing your own, prepared to do battle
"NEVER!"

>For a short time, you and Dash fence with police batons in the parking lot
>It's pretty weak in terms of swordfighting, but it's fun nonetheless
>Eventually you grab a hold of her arm and pull her blackjack from her grasp
>You give her a smug grin and wave it around above your head
"Looks like I win scrublord."
>Before your eyes, she takes a step back
>Then she jumps, does a 360, and kicks you square in the chest
>Your ass hits the pavement after flying a few feet
>Stars start to appear before you as you look up at the sky
>Dash appears standing above you
>"What was that about being a scrublord?"
>Ouch, your newly developed ego
>The gillie clad figure of Shrapnel appears next to her
>Shrapnel: "Boy, you just got your ass whooped."
>If only you could become one with the pavement, never to be seen again
>They pull you to your feet, and you give Dash a pout and a grimace
"That was unfair."
>"I told you I can handle myself."
>There's gonna be a foot shaped bruise on your chest for weeks
"I'll take your word for it then."
>"Come on, we've got a party to go to."
>Shit, hopefully your dad hasn't annoyed it was taking you forever to get home
>You give Filthy's driver your address and head back to the residential part of Canterlot
>In the car, Dash keeps fiddling with her new baton
>"You think we'll really need these?"
"Of course not, I've just wanted an excuse to get one for a while now."
>Outside your house, you give the driver a decent tip and unload the bikes into the garage
>As the sedan fades from view, you and Dash walk though the front door
>The house smells like pie

>You stop in the mudroom, eyes agape
>There's confetti fucking EVERYWHERE
>Taking care not to slip in it, you slowly walk to the kitchen with Dash behind you
>Your dad is staring at an apple pie on the counter, with a 1000 yard stare
"Dad, you alright?"
>"Anon, a very pink young lady just stormed the house not too long ago."
>Jesus Christ Pinkie, what did you do?
"Are you ok?"
>"She set off a confetti bomb, sang happy birthday, and then..."
>His eyes show disbelief
>"Then she left though the skylight."
>He points to the window at the top of the kitchen, where you see a few balloons dangling from
>You put a hand on his shoulder as Dash giggles in the corner
"It's ok, it was just Pinkie Pie. She's like that."
>You get him a drink and start making macaroni and cheese for dinner
>Dash helps you out, since you usually make it from scratch
>After you've thrown a whole pack of bacon and a block of cheese in with the pasta, you leave it to cook
>The secret ingredient is to put the bacon grease back into the cheese sauce
>Fuck your arteries
>The three of you spend the night talking, laughing, gorging yourselves on your Vegan killing dinner
>Dash sits in the third chair, and the room feels lively for the first time in years
>After demolishing the pie, you all sit with your belts straining
>Dad: "How'd the job hunting go?"
>You share a happy look with Dash
"We're going to be bike couriers for that Filthy Rich guy on TV."
>Dad: "Good for you, just promise me you'll be safe alright?"
"Of course."
>Dad: "That means you need to wear a helmet."
>Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck that
"Fine, whatever."

>Eventually, your dad goes to sleep on the couch with the TV running
"You uh...want to stay the night?"
>RD: "Hell yeah I do. I've never actually seen your bedroom yet."
>This is it Anon, for the first time in forever, you'll be taking a girl to your room
>Thank god you cleaned it recently
"Follow me."
>You quietly tromp up the stairs to the top floor landing and walk into the room you've slept in your whole life
>Dash walks in after you and closes the door
>And then locks it
>She doesn't throw you on the bed immediately
>First, she walks the beat around your room, looking at the autism you have tacked to the walls
>While the room is spotless in quality, you still have an entire wall of video game maps
>She cocks her head as she reads the legend of your Borderlands poster
>Fingers crossed that you'll pass inspection, you wait in silence
>Luckily for you, all of your really autistic shit is in a box in the closet, well hidden from prying eyes
>She stops by your battlestation, which you're ashamed to admit it is NOT a high end computer
>You're still a console pleb to the end, and only have a laptop
>"So you're a gamer huh?"
"Yeah."
>She picks up a controller and rotates it in her hand
>"We should play some games one of these days."
>So Dash wasn't going to dump you for not belonging to the PC master race
"We could play now if you wanted..."
>"Nah, I've got a better game in mind."
>You knew this was coming 
>Especially since she told you it as coming earlier
>Sweaty Anon makes his triumphant debut
"What game is that?"
>"Just shut up, lie down, and take your pants off."

>You start to pull your belt off, but she stops your hand
>"Actually, wait a second."
>Confused, you watch her walk over to the wall where your old Eagle Scout neckerchief hangs
"Dash, what are you doing?"
>"I'm trying something new."
>Before your eyes, she ties it around her head, obscuring her face and mouth
>"How often do you eat at Burger King?"
>She feels her way to the bed and lies on her back
"Um...never? Why?"
>Her hands pull her skirt up and her compression shorts down
>"Have it your way."
>She opens her legs wide, and you get a phenomenal view into her lady parts
"Are you kidding me Dash?"
>Your brain is already trying to cope with JUST getting laid, but dominating Dash?
>That's another story altogether
>"I'm waiting meathead."
>You look down and see from the tent in your pants that your dick is not at all opposed
"Ok...I guess."
>You climb on the bed and rub her slit a couple times tentatively
>She jumps at the sudden intrusion
>"Oh God, treat me like a whore."
>This isn't possibly happening
>Dash is never this submissive, why would she...
>Then you see the fluids pumping from her, and realize that she's actually a sick fuck with a weird fetish
>You've never been so fucking hard in your life
"What about protection?"
>"Fuck protection, fuck you, and FUCK ME!"
>The last two words are almost a scream, and you do the only thing you can to shut her up
>You shove it in

>Her back arches as you accidentally hilt on the first thrust
>From the wetness on the cloth over her face, it's clear that she's drooling like crazy
>And from the wetness in her OTHER area, it's clear that she's having a grand old time
>You on the other hand, are so nervous and shocked that you can barely register the situation
>But she asked for it, and you'll give it to her
>Oh, and give it to her you do
>With each rut, her head hits the headboard of your bed
>In addition, her ridiculous moaning is probably enough to wake up your dad downstairs
>You put a hand over her mouth, praying that she won't fight it
>Nope, if anything, her grunts become even more lewd in nature
>Her legs wrap around your back, pulling you closer to her
>Muffled shouting below your hand
"What?"
>You lift your hand for a moment
>"Hit me."
>You stop mid thrust, shellshocked
"Pardon me?"
>"I said hit me. Hard. Or I'll scream."
>God knows you don't want your dad to walk in right now
>You slap her, right upside the head, open palmed
>Her wetness seems to go up a few more notches
>Despite it all, you keep going, praying you can live up to the mantle of "Ladies first"
>And then you feel something new as you smack her again
>She goes rigid as a board, her back arches even more, and she moans like a dog into your hand
>Her walls clamp down in force on you, as if they were milking you
>Oh god, the pleasure
>Don't cum Anon, you aren't ready to be a dad
>All of your thoughts focus on the mundane as Dash writhes beneath you in pleasure
>When she stops, you pull yourself out and your eyes roll back as you blow your nuts onto the BSA logo over her face
>Be Prepared, niggers

"How many good boy points do I get for that?"
>Dash cleans herself off next to you, still panting slightly
>"All of them."
>Excellent, you pulled it off and didn't mess up
>"How about those video games now?"
>Her request surprises you in light of her recent...request
>But why not? 
>God knows you won't be able to sleep for a while
>Downstairs, you get a bag of chips and some tea before you get settled in
>Dad is still passed out cold on the couch, oblivious to you and Dash's performance
>For a couple hours, you and Dash lie next to each other while she plays New Vegas
>Even for a noob, she does reasonably well with you coaching her
>Around midnight she rolls over against you and gives you the controller
>You clean out a couple casinos, then decide to call it a night yourself
>You shut off your lamp and lie atop your blankets
>With a warm girl against you, you don't feel the cold
>Instead, you just feel relaxed
>Tonight, you wouldn't have to fall asleep amidst anxiety and guilt
>Tonight, you were at peace
>Tomorrow would hold god knows what kind of new shit
>At the very least you were learning to dance with Rarity
>Piece of cake, right?
>There was also the matter of buying tickets, which would be awkward
>Seeing as how you promised everyone that you weren't going to prom
>To those who had even asked, you had mentioned your plans to stay shut in the whole time
>You look at the quiet, snoring form of Dash 
>You would have missed out on the opportunity of a lifetime Anon
>To your dying day you would have regretted it 
>Your eyes shut to the darkness
>No more mistakes Anon, no more sleepness nights

>"FREEDOM, IS THE SOVEREIGN RIGHT...OF EVERY AMERICAN."
>You wake up alone, confused
>The only person in your bed is you
>Your heart sinks through the floor as you realize that the week was a dream
>Dash wasn't there, of course she wasn't
>Sadness takes you over as you put a hand over your eyes
>Mornings like this make you wish that you would never wake up
>Then, tapping
>Curled up in a ball, you recognize the sound of a controller
>You look up and see your TV on, the xbox running
>Someone's playing Minecraft on your account
>You sit up in bed and see Rainbow Dash sprawled on the floor, eyes glued to the screen
>Building a house out of dirt
>First of all, what a pleb
>Second...Anon, you fucking drama queen
>"That alarm you have is really weird, you know that right?"
>Since she's already awake, the cry of freedom didn't startle her that much
"Communist detected on American soil, lethal force engaged."
>You throw a pillow at her back
>She doesn't even bother retaliating, she's gone full zombie mode
>You watch her build a dirt hut for a bit, then climb out of bed to change into clean clothes
>"I hope you don't mind I'm using this thing."
>If she's actually sorry, it doesn't show
"No. I'm glad to see you're developing my bad habits."
>"Such as?"
>You walk over and turn on the other controller
"Like being a shut in."
>As long as you dare, you sit with Dash and dick around with TNT and the like, blowing up random crap
>Since it's a school day, you can't really justify staying home for very long
>Gotta have that perfect attendance
>You and Dash scarf some cereal and head out the door to go to school
>"Don't forget, Rarity's meeting you in the orchestra room."
>That's right, dance lessons
>If your predictions are right, it'll either be fun, or horribly awkward

>High School
>High School never changes
>Seriously, nothing at all interesting happens to you all morning after you part ways with Dash
>Most of the morning you just wait for bells to ring and people to stop talking
>On top of that, you start to feel the old butterflies emerge again at the thought of dancing
>Especially in front of your peers
>What if they judge you?
>You sweat silently in fear until the lunch bell rings throughout the school
>One step at a time Anon, you need to go and buy tickets
>The envelope of money weighs heavy in your pocket
>Good thing too, because the scum running the school are charging 100 bucks a ticket
>Although, prom was going to be at the Canterlot Suites Ballroom
>You walk into the cafeteria, and look over to the lunchline where Rainbow Dash accosted you not a week ago
>Now, a winding line of students wait to purchase their ticket for prom
>In a far corner, you see the head of the line at a table occupied by Pinkie Pie and Lyra
>"NONNY! COME OVER HERE!"
>Heads turn to you... many, many heads
>As you walk toward Pinkie past the snake of students, you get a lot of whispers in your direction
>Some hostile, since you're cutting in line like an asshole
>Others disbelieving, since you're a self proclaimed shut-in fuck-up
"Um...hey Pinkie."
>"Here Nonny, I set you and Dash's tickets aside in advance."
>She slides an envelope of her own across the table as Lyra continues dealing with the other normies
>You put down a pair of Filthy's Benjamins, nod, and walk away before she can refuse payment
>The last thing you need is to be lynched in the cafeteria for being TOO lucky
>In your head though, you feel defensive at the looks you're getting
>Yeah, you're a hypocrite, and you're a social autist, and you're dating out of your league, and...you could go on for hours
>Maybe you could do something crazy at prom, to shatter all of their expectations
>Your thoughts return to your hidden box of autism at home, and you start to form a plan

>For the rest of the day, you start to come up with a scheme
>A scheme to end all other schemes
>In the end, you'll either be the biggest jackass in school...
>Or the coolest bro that ever existed on earth
>Fingers crossed for the latter
>The first step would have to be learning to dance with Rarity
>Again, you watch the clock until the day ends
>In your memory, the last day that went this slowly was the one before Lonesome Road was released
>For which you still wanted your fucking money back
>Sweet freedom arrives in the form of loud beeps, and you gather your things while making way to the your locker
>At it, you see Rarity standing with a hanging bag in her hand
>"Hello Anonymous, I take it you're ready to 'get down' as it were."
>You look at the bag in her hand, which is too well tinted to see through
"Is that...my suit?"
>"Yes darling, it should fit you perfectly, as long as you haven't grown at all since Tuesday."
"Probably not."
>"Good, then follow me, I've gotten a friend to help us with your training."
>Rarity leads you across the school with the tide of students
>You're kind of hoping she'll change into different clothes before the dancing starts
>Her usual attire is...what's a good word?
>Accentuating
>Dash might have the ass of a runner, but Rarity is gifted in... other areas
>The last thing you need is to have Anon Jr. come out to dance as well
>You've never been in the orchestra room before, but you know where it is
>It's at the back of the school, next to a line of vending machines and a long dead payphone
>As you walk past the poor thing, you put a hand on it and give a quiet whisper
"F."
>"What was that?"
"Nothing, Just talking to myself."
>Her arms push the doors of the orchestra room open, and you look around
>The first thing you notice is the jacketed form of Octavia, the school's leading snob and cello player

>"Hello Rarity...Anonymous."
>Her tone turns condescending as she looks at you
>Rarity: "Hello Octavia, Anon just needs to get changed, and then we'll begin."
"Changed? Where?"
>She points to the back of the room, where there are two bathrooms for boys and girls
>Jimmies get rustles at the idea of music students getting their own private bathrooms
"I'm going to be dancing in the suit?"
>"Will you be dancing in the suit at prom."
>You open your mouth, then close it
>She has a point
>You take the suit and open the door to the bathroom
>Inside, you hang it on the door and unzip the bag from top to bottom
"Fuck..."
>Before you hangs a beautiful dark grey suit, complete with white shirt and sleek black tie
>Classic
>It pains you that she won't accept payment for it, she must have spent a ridiculous amount of time on it
>You strip to your underwear as quickly as possible
>It takes you a few minutes to get the clothes on, and another few to look up a tie tutorial on Youtube
>But eventually you find yourself looking at a complete stranger in the mirror
>You move your arms around and feel no resistance in the shoulder
>If you had to, you could box in this thing
>The tie fits nicely without choking you, and the pants do a suspiciously good job of showing off your butt
>You'd have to keep an eye on Rarity
>Pleased that it all was on right, you open the door of the bathroom and go to face the music
>Literally
>Octavia stops dead in the middle of a warm up song as her jaw drops at the sight of you
>Rarity, who had her back to you, turns around and smiles widely at your appearance
>That's right Aristocrat shitheads, Anon's got the threads of a king
>Rarity: "Anonymous, you look smashing."
"Aw shucks, but you're right...and thanks again."
>Her eyes glow at her work on you
>"It's no trouble darling, now let's begin."

>Rarity walks to you and takes your hands in her own
>One of them she puts around her waist, the other goes up in the air with her own
>Her other hand goes on your upper arm
>Eyes up Anon, let there be no spaghetti on this day
>"Go ahead Octavia, we're all set."
>Octavia starts to play
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mGQLXRTl3Z0
>There's no way in hell that this was the music they'd be playing at prom right?
>RIGHT?
>"Follow my lead Anon, we'll start with some basic footwork
>She starts moving you around the room
>As you move, you start to notice stuff that you don't want to notice right now
>Like how nice she smells
>Or how soft her skin feels
>And especially that slight jiggle in your peripheral vision down south
>She seems to be enjoying herself, eyes closed and bead bobbing
>Good thing too, otherwise she'd see the sweat pouring out of your every orifice
"How am I doing?"
>"Fine dear, just focus on your feet."
"Uh..alright."
>That's how it goes for a good long while
>You sweat, Rarity enjoys herself, and Octavia relentlessly saws away at her cello
>And in your mind, Dash lurks in the teacher's office like an edgy shitposter
>Watching
>Waiting
>Making sure that you all behave
>Ok, not really, but with each spin you still look around, paranoid
>The foot shaped bruise on your chest reminds you that she could kick your ass
>"Alright Octavia, I'd say that's enough."
>Octavia stops and begins packing up her case
"So...are we done then?"
>Rarity laughs softly

>"Anonymous, that only covered the slow dances."
"What else is there?"
>Rarity walks over to a stereo and plugs in her i-pod
>"Fast ones."
>Then she goes and shuts off the lights to the classroom, leaving you both in near darkness
"Um Rarity, I can't see jack shit."
>"Good."
>Footsteps, a door opening, a soft giggle
>Oh god, you're going to get your organs harvested
>The person you assume is Rarity walks up to you
"Uhhh...Rarity?"
>You feel her hands around you and her chest on yours
>"Relax darling, just move however you feel like."
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mjdIJ5ZSpSk
>In the dark ass room, you start moving with her to the music
>You start slowly, but get into it over time
>She doesn't fuck around with distance, and spends most of the time grinding against you
>This time, you get sweaty simply from moving so much
>But also from the sexual tension
>As the song ends, you find yourself disappointed
>You actually started having fun for a minute there, despite having done some naughty stuff with Rarity
>The lights go back on, and you jump back with a cry
>For your hands were not on the ass of Rarity, but of Rainbow Dash
"Gotcha!"
>Amidst your shock, you feel horrible relief that you weren't in fact grinding on Rarity
>The pair of them laugh at their wit
>Reluctantly, you join them, not questioning how or why they did this to you
"Why?"
>RD: "Come on man, we had to mess with you a bit."
>Rarity: "I must say Dash, he's a fast learner. I might have to borrow him for a dance or two at prom."
"So...now we're done?"
>Rarity: "Unless you want to learn freestyle, which I doubt..."
"I do."

>Dash and Rarity look at you, confused
>Rarity: "You want to learn freestyle?"
"At least a little bit. I want to try something dumb at prom."
>You give them your best grin, hoping that they'll let you embarrass yourself
>Rarity: "How about I get Pinkie to add a specific song..and teach you a little something to go with it."
>Her face screams horrible idea, but you've had dumber ideas before
"That sounds perfect."
>She looks through her playlist, and eventually finds a song
>"How about this?"
>You look at the screen and recognize the track
"Perfect."

>You and Dash exit the school an hour later
>After Rarity and herself coached you through the movements, you spent as much time as you could mastering them
>Your feet were still in a tither from moving so quickly
>It's late, and the air has cooled a good amount
>RD: "You're an idiot."
"It'll be funny."
>"That doesn't make you not an idiot."
>You wrap an arm around her shoulder on the way to your bikes
"That's way you're sticking with me though. You and I are both a couple of renegade idiots."
>"You know it."
"Want to go and play some more of them videogames?"
>Fuck going out and doing stuff today, tomorrow promised more than enough adventure for the likes of you
>Not the kind of adventure in the woods, but the kind waaaaaaaaay outside your comfort zone
>"Let's do it. Race you to your house!"
>Dash throws your arm aside and hauls ass to the bikes
>There's too much soreness in your feet to run
>You'll just let her win this round

>She's taking the bike locks off when you get to the bike rack
>"Look at that shit."
>Dash points to the north, where a solid black wall of clouds hovers
>You can tell from the haziness underneath that it's pouring buckets
>Lightning flashes, and a moment later you hear thunder crack
>The wind kicks up, and from its direction you know that the storm is aiming right for you
"You ready to get wet Dash?"
>"Is that a sex joke?"
"Funny, seriously though, this is going to be awful."
>The rainbow haired maniac gets on her bike and adjusts her pedals
>"Not if it doesn't catch us."
>She's right, speed is going to be crucial
>That only means one thing
>You wrap your bandana around your head and get your ipod ready
"Don't wait up."
>You hit play as Dash jumps onto the sidewalk
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y_z9W_N5Drg
>Its just like the campout again, except not for fun
>Dash takes the lead, flying down the sidewalk like a bat out of hell
>You glue your eyeballs to her rear end and pump along to keep up with her
>The wind is to your back, since your running from the storm
>Within minutes, your bandana is already saturated in sweat
>Times like this make you curse your hatred of oranges
>Why couldn't it be peaches instead?
>Dash flies through intersections and around cars with no thought to caution
>You follow her as best as you can, after all, this will be your job soon
>A few miles from home, you thank god you enjoy acting like a reckless fool
>Then, you feel a raindrop

>Then another
>Then a lot more
>And then it opens up on you with the wrath of Poseidon
>Dash becomes a distant blur as you struggle to see through the rain
>As water runs down your head, you taste salt from the sweat mixed in the rain
>It tastes sickeningly good
>The combination of the rain, the music, and the sheer fact you could be blindsided at at moment...
>There's adrenaline for days
>You don't bother slowing down at any intersections
>When you need to you jump onto the road to avoid obstacles
>Headlights cut through the air, letting you know where the cars are around you
>A couple people lean on their horns at you, but you could care less
>You're having way to much fun
>A small, coherent part of your brain is screaming at you to stop
>Its the same part that always tells you to wear a helmet
>In other words, you don't listen to your own common sense
>You're fucking invincible
"WOOOOOOOOOOO!"
>With your left hand you pound your chest and scream to the clouds above you
"COME AT ME BRO!"
>As you look back to the intersection ahead, you see a semi approaching on your right
>You can beat it
>Standing up on your bike, you pump with the strength of 10 Anons 
>The trucker pulls his horn at you
>You jump the curb into the intersection and look at his bumper
>The reflection of yourself in it is clearly visible
>Time seems to slow as you see an insane, happy look on your own face

>The bastard slams on his brakes
>You go past him, and hit the other curb without popping a wheelie first
>Over the handlebars you go, and wind up on your back on the grass
>Whatever just happened, you don't care
>You just look up at the rain falling onto the ground
>The Dash appears above you
>"You're crazier than I am."
"You saw that?"
>"Yeah, I was waiting for you to catch up."
>The only thing that matters to you is how odd Dash looks with her hair wet
>The trucker appears next to Dash
>"You okay kid?"
"Hahahaha."
>He looks mad and confused, probably because you just laughed at him
>Trucker: "Whatever."
>Dash helps you to your feet as the guy leaves in his rig
>"So, you actually are okay right?"
"Physically? Yes."
>You get your bike standing up and make sure your bag is alright
>Vaguely you realize that the rain has subsided quite a bit
"I'm ordering a helmet when I get home."
>Dash looks surprised at you
>"Really?"
"Yeah. This is too much fun for me to die anytime soon."
>That, and now you can't trust yourself to be sensible on a bike
>At least you're still breathing after that shit
>Never again Anon
>At least, not on purpose, after all, you're a bike courier now
>Looking around, you realize that you're only a couple blocks from home
"Let's go. You've got some games to play."

>The rain dies completely before you get home
>In the mudroom, you dry yourself with a towel as best you can
>Falling onto the ground really made you a dirty boy
>In the kitchen, a note from your dad let's you know that he'll be gone a few days
>Leave it to the old Luddite to not just text you
"My room?"
>"Of course."
>Dash blows away dregs in Destiny while you browse the internet for a helmet
"Do you have any recommendations?"
>She kills a vandal and looks back at you
>"Get something awesome."
"Thanks, that's really helpful."
>The normal bike helmets look too dorky for your taste
>You also don't feel like paying over 100 dollars
>What constitutes awesome?
>Screw it
>You buy a cheap black bmx helmet and shut your laptop
>Odds are you won't actually use the thing, but it makes you feel better
>You watch her play for a while from your bed
"Hey Dash, you ever get hit by a car?"
>"Nah. Why do you ask?"
"I don't know, I'm just worried that I get a little too into it sometimes."
>"It's called adrenaline man, it's supposed to happen."
>She's right, that's half the reason you bother riding your bike
>Adrenaline
>In addition, it allows you to eat like a pig afterwards
>Speaking of which, you shove another handful of chips down your throat
"So I'm not crazy?"
>"Nah."
>If anyone knew about being a crazy, young, idiot, it was Rainbow Dash
>Reassured, you boot up the old 360 and continue playing New Vegas

>The evening goes by slowly and peacefully
>Videogames seemed to suck the friskiness out of Dash, who continues to play Destiny long into the morning
>Eyes glazed over, mouth drooling like an idiot
>Hopefully she wouldn't make a habit out of it like you used to
>All those hours you used to sit in here alone...
>Life moved a lot faster for you back then, back when everything that made you happy was single serving bullshit
>Now, you had the best company in the world in the form of Dash
>Sweet, fulfilling, human contact
>All this time, that was all you needed
>Don't ever fuck this up Anon, don't get yourself killed and miss out on the best thing that ever happened to you
>You remember the conversation you had in the alehouse a week ago
>What if you hadn't agreed to go on that bikeride?
>What if you never bothered getting to know her?
>What if you missed out on the coolest girl you'd ever met?
>All you could have done would be to think about how life could have been
>That'd make for an interesting story
>You look at the floor next to you, which holds a person, not just bare carpet
>The smile that forms on your mouth is as satisfying as anything
"Thank you, by the way, Dash."
>She barely looks up from the game
>"For the helmet thing? No problem."
"No. For this week. For everything."
>Now she just looks befuddled at you
>"What are you talking about?"
>What ARE you talking about? 
>Use your words Anon
"You know how much time I used to spend in here, on my ass, doing nothing?"
>She lets you talk, seeing the thousand mile stare on your face
>You give the wall a disgusted look, pretending that you're looking at yourself
"Fucking all of it. Every minute I wasn't working, or at school, I sat and did nothing with my life."
>You look at her deeply as you find the right words to finish your rant
"You helped me change that shit. So thank you."

>The clock tells you that its later than you meant to stay up
"Now that I got that off my chest, I'm going to sleep."
>You pull your blankets up over yourself in anticipation of dozing off
>"What do you mean sleep? Are you actually going in tomorrow?"
"Why, what's tomorrow?"
>Dash puts her elbows on the bed and looks at you like you're insane
>"It's senior skip day! Nobody's gonna be there with prom going on later!"
>Alas, that was out of the question for the likes of you
"Sorry Dash, I've got to retain my perfect attendance. I've never been sick and I won't blow it this close to the end."
>In your mind you pose heroically as fanfare plays
>In truth, you're just a dork 
>She shakes her head and turns back to your xbox
>"Egghead."
"Pleb."
>That night, you have a nightmare about what would happen if Dash ever got stoned
>Good god, there would be no food left on earth

>"TACTICAL ASSESSMENT...RED CHINESE VICTORY...IMPOSSIBLE."
>You sit upright like a zombie risen from the dead
>"Dude, I'm going to destroy your phone one of these days."
>As you rub early morning crust from your eyes, you look around your bedroom in the morning light
>Dash is in the same damn spot she was in when you fell asleep
"Jesus, did you pull an all-nighter?"
>"Yeah."
>You get out of bed and start putting on your clothes for the day
>All your normal crap, from t-shirt to hiking sneakers
>Outside, it looks windy as hell, with a slight drizzle
>Beside your normal attire, you pull out your favorite BoS hoodie to spite the weather
"I'll be back here as soon as they put me in for attendance."
>"Hold on, hold on, geez."
>You look around and see Dash standing up from the human shaped pattern she left in your floor
"Change your mind?"
>Dash checks her phone and walks with you down the stairs to the first floor
>"I'm not going to let you leave alone. Besides, should we get some coffee?"
"Sure."
>You hold open the front door for her to walk outside first
"Where?"

>"The cake's, of course."
>Sugarcube Corner it is then
>Since you actually have some gas money, you and Dash pile into the pick-up, which only takes a few extra seconds to start up
>You pull onto the road and head towards Sugarcube corner
>As far as you remember, you haven't been there in quite a while
>Most of the stoners and guitar players from school liked hanging out there on weekends
>During the week it was a haven for the different cliques of the school, like Dash's friends
"Are your friends gonna be there?"
>"No, they're still sleeping in like NORMAL people."
>That one makes you laugh out loud
"Good, I don't want to be a..."
>You shudder in horror at the very implication
"...normie."
>Once again, your internet humor flies past her out the window
>She looks at you like a you're an imbecile until you pull up next to the Cake's coffee house
>The rain starts coming down again as you walk into the store
>Your ears catch the softly playing music first, as you look around curiously
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eFw_tua-2BA
>It's cozy inside, most of the tables are located with couch's and armchairs instead of the usual chairs
>There's a few booths, and across the store a plump looking women waves at you both
>"Hello, dearies. What can I get ya?"
>Dash walks tiredly to the counter and starts ordering half the sweets and coffee in the shop
>While she does her business, you look around at the other groups of people inside
>Besides you and Dash, there's Treehugger from the park, and a group of bikers who stopped for water
>"Here you go man."
>You look around to Dash, who pushes a latte or some shit into your hand
>"Let's sit down somewhere."
>She plops her ass down on one of the couches and you sit on a chair across from her
"So what's on the agenda for today?"
>She puts a finger up as she gulps down whatever drink is in her hand
>Then she stuffs a heap of Biscotti in her mouth and sighs from pleasure
>"God that's better."

>Dash and her food, you just shake your head
>"After we save your perfect attendance, I've got to get ready for prom."
"How long does that take?"
>"A few hours."
>Wow, you'd be fucking around in dreaded anticipation alone at home for hours
"Well then...how do you want to get to prom then? Limo?"
>"To hell with that, let's ride our bikes."
"Sounds cheap. And sweaty."
>"We'll ride slow. And afterwards we've got post prom at Rarity's, so don't forget about that."
>The bell over the door rings as a few more students walk inside the shop
"Is there going to be...sketchy business at Rarity's?"
>Dash runs a finger over her cup like Filthy did in the meeting, and you know she wants to avoid the question
>"You mean like drinking? Because...yes."
>Drinking, one of the many reasons you can't fathom being social with people
>Dash looks at you with slight concern
>"It'll be fun man, besides, Rarity and I have a little something special planned for the night."
"What would that be?"
>"It's a surprise."
>Ah hell, why not live a little
>Even if it meant intentionally poisoning yourself with complete and total swill
>Just drink it fast Anon, you can do it
>In the meantime you take a sip of your current beverage
>Gaugh, coffee
>You put it down on the table, disgusted
"Alright, let's get out of here before they think I'm not showing up today."
>She piles up the rest of her goodies in her shirt and follows you back to the truck
>And then proceeds to get crumbs ALL over the seat while you cringe
"Are you secretly a stoner Dash?"
>"Not habitually."
>Well...
>At the school, there are literally no other cars in the senior parking lot
>You still park in your normal place as far from the door as possible
>After all, walking is good for you

>Underclassmen and teachers look at you both funny as you make for the school
>Usually people gave you funny looks because you dress like a slob
>Today it was because you're a filthy tryhard at having perfect attendance
>At least you had your significant other with you
>Dash doesn't have the same first period class as you, but follows you there anyway since she isn't going to class
>You stride into your History room like you always do and receive a disbelieving look from Ms. Cheerilee
>Apparently you interrupted her watching YouTube videos
>"Anonymous? What are you doing here?"
"I came to get marked in attendance."
>"Ok..."
>While Dash rolls her eyes by the door, Cheerilee types some shit into her computer
>"Alright then, you're good to go."
>Your business concluded, you turn and leave with Dash
>Dash: "That's all?"
"What did you expect? A drug deal?"
>"A drug deal would have been pretty exciting."
"Not as exciting as perfect attendance."
>The hallways are devoid of other students, and you listen to you and Dash's footsteps echo off the walls
>Everything feels empty as the end of the year draws close
>In the front foyer, you look around at the trophy cases and banners
"Hey Dash, you think you're gonna miss this place?"
>"Hell no, this school sucks. Why?"
"I think I will."
>You look at the volleyball trophies inside the trophy case
>There, your name next to the Canterlot Volleyball Tournament Champions
>That'll probably be the only place where your name is remembered, even if you only sat the bench
"Now that I realize what I was missing all this time, I kind of feel like sticking around."
>Dash's reflection appears next to yours with a comforting smile
>"You could always just fail out. That's what I'm doing with English."
>She gets you to laugh at least
"Come on, let's get you home to get ready."

>On the way back, you notice that your gas needle is hovering a sliver from E
"You mind if I get some gas real quick?"
>Dash jumps as if you just screamed her awake
>"OH SHIT!"
>You jump too, not having expected her reaction
"What?"
>She looks at you with dawning horror all over her face
>"I never told my boss that I was quitting."
"Well, I guess we could go tell him together?"
>Dash facepalms with both hands from the passenger seat
>"I hope he isn't too pissed at me."
>Normally you'd wonder why the hell someone in her situation would even care
>But this was Rainbow Dash, who had a strange loyalty complex built into her
>The Pony X-press looms up ahead and you put your turn signal on so as not to get hit by THE ASSHOLE TAILGATING YOU
>You park by one of the pumps and get out to fill the tank while taking a deep breath
>Dash stands next to you, looking unsure about the situation
"Stop worrying, the dude isn't going to care."
>"I hope you're right about that."
>You take another deep breath through your nose to inhale your favorite aroma in the world
>Gasoline
>But there's something else on the air too...
>Something oddly poignant, that you can't put a finger on
>It smells kind of good
>When you've topped off the tank, you take Dash by the hand and head for the door so that you can pay with cash
>Inside, you look around for Diesel Fuel
>He's nowhere to be found
>"He might be out back, follow me."
>Dash leads the way through an employees's only door and into the storage area
>She pushes open the emergency exit, and you immediately find the mystery smell to increase in volume

>"Hey Diesel."
>You walk out after Dash and find the greasy gas station attendant leaning against the wall smoking
>Diesel: "Hey Dash, you quit or something?"
>Rainbow Dash rubs her elbow uncomfortably
>"Yeah, Anon here kind of hooked me up with a job somewhere else. I guess I forgot to mention it."
>Diesel waves his hands, one of which trails smoke from his cigarette
>Diesel: "Water under the bridge kid, I'm glad you aren't gonna be stuck here forever like me."
>He takes a drag from his...
>Wait a second here
>That's no cigarette
>It's a space sta-I mean... it's a fat fucking joint
>He grins as he sees you staring at it
>Diesel: "Want a drag kid?"
>You've never smoked weed before
>There were never any friends around to offer it to you
"Um..."
>All the anti peer pressure propaganda bullshit from elementary school comes back to you
>Just Say NO!
"Fuck it, sure, it's already been a week of firsts for me."
>You take the still smoking doobie from him and look at it, unsure what to do
>Just inhale, right?
>You put the thing in your lips
>Dash and Diesel look at you with bated breath
>You suck in air through it, positive you're doing it the wrong way
>At first, you don't know if you did it right or not, although your mouth and throat feel warm
>Then the back of your throat gets caked in ash
>Didn't the asshole put a filter in the stupid thing?
>When you cough, you fill the air around you with a thick cloud of smoke
>They laugh as you spit repeatedly on the ground
>Diesel claps you on the back
>"Not bad for your first hit kid. Go inside, get a drink and some chips or something."
"Ok."
>Wheezing like an asthmatic who just chiefed his first doob, you walk back into the store

>Dash follows you, still giggling
>"Hey man, give me the keys, I'll drop you off at your place and walk home."
"Why can't I drive?"
>She gives you an 'is you srs' kind of look
"Right..."
>You grab an iced tea and a bag of pretzels before you leave the gas station
>For whatever reason, Dash adds a package of cookies to your arms
"What's this for?"
>"Just trust me."
>She gets in the truck on the drivers side, you get into the passenger seat
>Fuck, it seems a LOT more comfortable than you can remember
>You snuggle into the seat as Dash puts it in drive to leave the gas station
>Your mind runs a mile a second, and you see a kid ride by on a bmx
"Hey Dash, why do you ride bikes?"
>"To stay in shape. Isn't that why you do it?"
>You think about it for what seems like an eternity
"I guess I prefer riding bikes over going to a gym because going to a gym is boring. I'd rather go outside and go somewhere. I want to see things and meet people and have an adventure. That's so much fucking better than standing stationary, lifting pieces of steel around like an asshole."
>That took a long time to say
>You look down at your pretzels
>Fuck yes
>You pop them open and start eating them
>For some reason, the saltiness is a lot more noticeable than ever
>In fact, your perception for the mundane in general seems a lot better than ever
>Kind of like you took a hearty dose of Mentats...
"Oh shit, Dash."
>You put a hand on her leg and look at her wide-eyed
"I think I'm high."
>You turn the radio on as she struggles to retain her laughter
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6tu4wWSbnIs

>You listen to the song far more deeply than you can ever remember
"Dash, I think this is about us."
>"What, the song?"
"Yeah Dash, it's us. WE are the renegades."
>She fails to contain her amusement and starts laughing
>For the longest time, you sit and listen to music as she drives
>All of it seems to be a direct allusion for your own life
>Occasionally you take notice of yourself eating the snacks you brought, which taste WAY better than usual
>She was right, having the cookies was a good call after eating the salty pretzels
>"All right Anon, you're home."
>You look out the window at the house next to the truck
>She's right, it is your house
>Why did it take so long to get here?
>But the clock says that its been 4 minutes since you left the gas station
"Wow."
>Your passenger door opens, and you notice that Dash left the truck a while ago
>Now she takes your arm and leads you to the front door
>"Let's go, you need to wait for this to wear off before prom."
"Dash, it'll wear off right?"
>"Give it an hour, you didn't get very much."
>At the front door, you give her a bear hug
"You're the best Dash. I want you to know that."
>"Trust me, I know. Now go inside and enjoy yourself for a while, I've got shit to do."
>She pulls back, and you kiss her on the mouth
>Hopefully she wouldn't be mad
>Nope, she returns it in force, but breaks it after a moment with her bedroom eyes
>"I'd stick around to drain these..."
>She puts a hand on your crotch
>"...but you need to save that shit for later."
>She gives you your keys back, and walks off to go home, waving over her shoulder
>You only drop the keys twice before you manage to slip inside and shut the door

>The lights are all off on account of your dad being away
>Come to think of it, maybe he wanted you and Dash to have the house to yourselves for the weekend
>That's sure nice of him to give you guys some privacy
>Even though Dash already had her own apartment...
>You start eating some leftover mac and cheese as you walk to your bedroom
>On the way, you try touching as many things as possible
>Including yourself
>Your dad was a well meaning guy, but his head wasn't always in the right place
>Not that you can blame him, after all that's gone down in his past
>And besides that, you didn't really get to experience this with Rainbow Dash
>There's wetness on your face
>Shit, are those tears?
>God, you haven't cried in years, ever since you were a little kid
>Leave it to weed to send you on a miserable feels trip
>Suddenly you find yourself in your darkened, slightly cool bedroom
"I should play a video game."
>You walk to the hutch and look at your collection
>Crouching down, you start to browse your autisticly large selection for something fun
>10 minutes later you're still trying to choose, noticing dimly that your kneecaps want to blow out
>Of course, for you, it feels more like an hour
"God dammit."
>You give up and decide to lie down on your bed instead
>Now isn't the time to be making decisions 
"I'll just listen to music. YES!"
>Music sounds so great right now
>Fully clothed, you plug your good gaming headset into your laptop and get under the covers
>Holy Christ the bass, and also the volume
>Music was never meant to sound this good
>Your sense of self evaporates as all your perception goes to your ears
>At this rate you'll end up taking a nap before prom
>Whoever would have thought that you'd be high today, instead of going to school?
>Actually, a nap sounds really nice

>You have a fighting dream that night
>One of the ones where you square off with some random person
>Last time, you beat in Mr. Roger's face while ripping apart his fucking sweater
>Sometimes you scare yourself
>Today, your adversary was Rainbow Dash, fulling decked out in surplus mercenary armaments
>The location, on top of the mountain where you watched lightning scorch the earth from the eyes of god
>It's raining again
>In your comatose state, you don't really understand what the hell is happening, but you don't question it
>You swing out the weighted end of your baton and charge forward to do battle
>Rainbow Dash jumps and kicks out at you, but you expect her signature move and avoid it
>For a while she tries to punch you, and you try to punch her back
>But it's a dream, and you can't swing a fist for the life of you
>She beats your ass in short order and drags you to the edge of the cliff
>You look down into the maw of the earth far below as she prepares to throw you to your doom
>"ANY LAST WORDS ANONYMOUS?"
"JUST TWO!"
>Gravity takes over as she lets you go
>The wind hours in your ears as you skid down the cliff face
"HORSE!"
>Your mouth barely works right as the wind pushes your teeth back into your head
"PUSSY!"
>The ground rushes up to meet you, and as you strike it your eyes open again to the real world
>You look around, horribly confused
>Falling dreams are always the worst for you
>You open the door of your bedroom and step into the hallway outside
>But alas, you are not awake, and the floor is not truly a floor
>Your leg leads you down, under the map and into the skybox of the world
>To describe the sensation with words would take a far better writer than likes of you
>But it's terrifying
>All around you, endless, gaping blackness
>Further and further down you fall, your guts pushing upward as gravity wreaks havoc on you in an endless ride of infinite horror
>Why won't the ride end

>"DEMOCRACY...WILL NEVER BE DEFEATED."
>The falling mercifully ends amidst your new found panic at your phone alarm
>Which shouldn't be going off at this time of the day
>You and your blankets hit the floor while you try to get your shit together in vain
>The carpet rubs up against a lot more flesh than it should have
>When did you take off your clothes?
>"Looking good meathead."
>Next to you, Dash holds your phone out while she grins smugly at you
>You feel a lot sharper than you did before the weed, and self consciousness returns as Dash eye humps you
"Um..."
>"Prom starts in an hour, and I got finished early so I figured I'd make sure you didn't OD."
>She gives you a nudge with her boot and you finally focus on her
>Damn son
>Starting at the feet, your eyes go up and your jaw goes down
>Her normal boots are gone, replaced by a high heeled maroon pair with wings on the side
>The low cut dress she's sporting does an unfair job of showing off her curves
>It's rainbow colored, which you didn't expect for some reason
>But combined with her hair it's worthy of all the unf in the world
>And lastly, her arms are covered in a saucy pair of purple sleeve things
>For a moment you forget that you're butt naked, in a heap, at Dash's feet
>"Let's get you dressed, we've got a prom to go to."
>You pick up the nearest pair of boxers on the floor and slide them on
>Then you stumble past Dash to the closet where you left Rarity's suit
>What the hell is wrong with you?
>Midday naps are the worst for getting your shit together
>Also, smoking weed isn't really the best either for similar reasons
>Don't make a habit out of this crap Anon
>That's the last fucking thing you need at this point
"Can you give me a hand with this Dash?"
>"Yeah, come here."
>Dash helps you get the shirt and tie on while you stand upright in a daze
>Eventually you're bedecked in your full suit
>"Good to go now?"
>Your eyes travel to the closet, where your secret box resides in wait

"One more thing."
>You go over and open the closet door
>Shifting aside a slew of boxes reveals a dusty old shoebox that you buried a long time ago
>With a finger, you rub off a line of dust from the top, remembering what lies inside this box
>Mostly papers you don't want to look at anymore, and also a horse mask
>You'll need the latter for your performance tonight
>You toss the lid aside, and then toss the papers at the top of the box along with it
>One of these days you should thoroughly clean out the closet
>As you lift out the mask from the box, you grin at the stupid thing
>40 bucks well spent, idiot
>"Anon, what the hell is that?"
>You put the mask into a spare gym bag and lead her into the hallway
"A monument to all my stupidity."
>The house is dark and quiet in the absence of your dad
>Dash already has the bikes lined up in the driveway
>Each of them is adorned with trailing rainbow streamers
"Nice."
>"We're going to be the most original arrivals of the night."
"Also the sweatiest."
>"Just go slow, it's not a race."
>You mock dawning horror at her comment
"Not a race? I never thought I'd live to see the day Dash."
>Her eyes narrow competitively at you
>"Is that a challenge? You know I'll do it."
>You get onto your bike and line your pedals up for a better takeoff
>Also, you tie your bandanna up to keep yourself from getting TOO sweaty
"After you... Rainbow Girl."
>Like all those times in the last week, Rainbow Dash leaves you in the dust as she flies off on her bike
>Thank god Rarity made your suit custom, because you want to keep up with Dash this time

>All up and down Canterlot's main street, limousines ferry your classmates to Canterlot Suites
>Since the traffic is so damn bad, you and Dash actually pass by most of them like the plebs they are
>Most of the ride your eyes stay glued to Dash
>Her hair and dress look absolutely fabulous
>Either that or you still haven't finished being high 
>As you approach the hotel, she slows down for you to catch up to her
>"Excited?"
"Yeah, and nervous."
>"Don't worry man, we're here to have fun."
>Your usual brand of fun included an xbox or a bicycle
>Dancing around with your classmates would be a new one for you
>Luckily, the evening air is cool and breezy, so you don't really get sweaty on the way over
>And since the traffic is gridlocked, you can ride your bike around with no fear of dying
>How boring
>Even this far away from the hotel, you can hear music playing already
>Dash pulls up to the front of the hotel, where most of your classmates are walking inside or talking
>Many heads turn to the pair of idiots who showed up on rainbow adorned mountain bikes
>The hotel doesn't have a bike rack, so you chain up the bikes to a juniper growing by the windows
>"Come on man, let's get our picture taken."
>Dash points over to an area by the door where a photographer is snapping pictures of the couples walking in
>As she drags you over, you pull off the bandanna and straighten your tie
>Its horribly tacky, an archway of flowers and vines, with a bench to sit on
>You make to sit on the bench like an awkward asshole, but Dash has other plans
>She hoists you up by the tie and puts an arm around you, which you return
>Leaning on each others shoulders, the photographer takes your picture together
>You can tell that Dash has the same old cocky grin
>The same one she had in the cafeteria a week ago
>That thought makes you have a genuine laugh, out of relief or of joy you don't know
>But it makes for a good picture nonetheless

>"Alright, let's go dance!"
>With no ceremony at all, Dash pulls you away to the main entrance 
>Hopefully you'd find an opportunity to get a copy of that picture later
>The inside of the hotel reminds you of Filthy's tower, with a fountain and receptionists desk
>Except here, you're surrounded by students from your school, all of whom appear to be judging you
>Rainbow Dash always looks great of course, but you...
>Rarity must have made you look a lot more dapper than you had expected
>Either that or everyone was just surprised to see you here
>Probably the latter
>"The ballroom's over there."
"Ballroom? Just how high class is this thing exactly?"
>Your question is answered for you as you look into the next room to see students
>All of whom appear to be dry humping like animals
>Not at all high class, it would seem
>The song changes as you stand next to Dash in the entrance
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qpMYWunXXP8
>Dash doesn't even ask, she's got you on the dance floor in seconds
>You try to remember everything Rarity taught you in the darkened classroom about 'dancing'
>Although, technically it was Dash
>At first, it seems horribly weird, moving around next to Dash like a clumsy shithead
>But the combination of the lights off and the music really settles you down
>Nobody other than Rainbow Dash seems to even give a shit about you out here
>Speaking of Dash, her dancing starts to get really erratic, and lewd
>You do your best to keep up with her, grinding up and down the few square feet you have to move
>And then you feel that same adrenaline rush you get from biking
>That seals the deal, and you give up being worried
>Your shame goes in the garbage and you dance like a drunken fool 
>Or at least, a slightly stoned fool
>As the final few seconds of the song come to a close, you stop to breathe 
"What now?"
>"What do you mean what now? We aren't done yet!"
>The song changes again and Dash resumes her flailing

>Of all the endurance rides you'd taken, all of them pale in comparison to the hour you spend with Dash dancing
>At least, it feels like an hour
>Sometimes you lose track of time during physical exertion
>Finally, even she can't keep going, and you walk with her to a table where she pulls her boots off
>"Not bad for a noob."
>Through the taste of oranges, you wheeze out a rebuttal
"You are too much of a filthy casual to use that term."
>God, your feet hurt
>Curse these dress shoes that you own, why could't you wear your hiking sneakers
>Following her lead, you strip yourself of your own shoes
>Next to each other, barefoot, you sprawl out and drink punch
"Motherfuckers..."
>"What's up?"
"Somebody put vodka in the punch."
>Fucking Pinkie, most likely
>"You can tell?"
"I've had bad experiences with vodka. The taste lingers"
>Dash laughs and downs her punch in a couple gulps
>"Not me."
>Despite your disapproval, you can't help but chuckle at her shenanigans
>The atmosphere, the pumping music, the slight lightheadedness you still have from the earlier hit
>Experiences like this just weren't attainable in a bedroom, alone
>This was perfect
>Then you hear your song
>Your stomach drops like a fucking rock
>Oh god, you'd forgotten about the god damn routine
>You look over at Dash, who gives you a happy and questioning look, and you suck your balls out
"Wish me luck."
>Mask in hand, you walk to the center of the dance floor, alone
>Deep breath, it'll be over soon
>You put on the stupid horse mask and pray that nobody will recognize you if you fuck up horribly
>The rubbery chemical smell assaults you like an army of blitzkrieging Germans 
>Then it begins
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=twqM56f_cVo

>As you knew it would, it takes just under 4 minutes
>Focusing on the movements was great for not thinking about the smell of the mask
>Or of the hundred of people watching you
>At first, nobody seems to notice
>Then, a tide of laughter and cheering starts to rise up
>Meanwhile, you can't see a fucking thing out of the mouth hole
>You finish the dance with one final stupid spin thing, and pause for effect
>Judging from the roar from the crowd, it was well received
>You pull the mask off, hoping that you could sacrifice your anonymity for once
>The sight around you isn't what you expected
>They cleared the floor around you while you were at it
>They not only cleared the floor, but all of them recorded it on their phones as well
>And they're all going nuts for you
>You throw the horse mask to the crowd and stride back to the table where you can see Dash cheering
>A couple of kids actually have a scuffle over the thing
>You were wrong earlier
>THIS was perfect
>Dash hands you another punch as the crowd goes back to dance for the next song
>"That was pretty awesome.
"Dash...my feet hurt."
>"Stop whining, let's get some food."
>The buffet available is appalling
>Dash goes ahead of you, head bobbing along to the music
>You watch her fill not one, but two plates with food
>All you get is some salad, the last thing you need is to be throwing up on the dance floor
"Where are we sitting?"
>She points at one of the tables, where you see her friends all sitting
>Dash sits first, and you take a seat next to her at the table
>Besides her, you recognize Fluttershy, Rarity, Pinkie, and Sunset
>You don't know any of their dates, except for that fucking lunatic Cheese Sandwich, who sits by Pinkie

>Besides them, there's the local farm girl who you've never spoken to
>Her name was apple-somthing, whatever
>A few different conversations pop up around the table, and you find yourself talking to Rarity
>Rarity: "Anonymous, you are looking lovely tonight."
"Thanks Rarity, likewise. I love the suit, by the way."
>Rarity: "I'm glad, it looked very comfortable during your routine."
>Time for self critisim
"Heehee, yeah...was it good?"
>Rarity: "They'll be talking about it for years, Anonymous. And in a good way."
>That's a relief, even if Rarity was biased in your favor
>To your right you can hear the sounds of Dash's silverware working at warp speed
>Rarity leans across you and taps Dash's shoulder
>She has to swallow before responding
>Dash: "Yo."
>Rarity: "Would you raise any objections to me taking Anonymous for a dance?"
>Rainbow Dash seems to think it over, while bits of food still fall from her mouth
>Dash: "Sure, just don't take too long."
>The purple haired girl takes your arm and leads you back to the floor, where the songs are still fast paced
>Rarity looks incredible as well, in her own custom made blue dress
>Her own boots are more elegant than usual, and she's got gold bracelets to accent the whole look
>For a bit, you do the grinding routine with her, doing your best to not stare at her chest
>She gets really into it, and you find a little guilty that you do as well
>Oh well, Dash said yes, and there would be plenty of time for her later
>Right now, you just flail about with Rarity and try to not give a shit about life
>Rarity: "Having fun Anon?"
>She used your nickname, that's odd
"A ton of it, you guys are making this really easy for me."
>Rarity: "Just wait until later then."
"What happens later?"
>"It's a surprise."


>A hand finds your shoulder and you look around to see who it is
>Rainbow Dash stands there, looking ready to dance again
>Dash: "Mind if I butt in?"
>You look at Rarity, who steps back with a slight curtsy
>Rarity: "Thank you for the dance Anonymous."
"See you later Rarity."
>Dash takes control again and you go back to the pelvic thrusting of before
>At least, until the song ends
>You're glad you didn't stuff your face, because you would definitely be seeing it all again right now
"Holy crap, this is destroying my feet."
>"Not me."
>She grins in mock arrogance while you wait for the DJ to continue
>Her cocky grins were always great
>Despite your whittling endurance, you're having a lot of fun
"By the way...you look really great tonight."
>Oh good, you're going to drop your spaghetti in the middle of the dance floor
>Dash puts a stop to it immediately
>"Don't get sappy on me now Anon, I've already got Rarity for drama."
"Right."
>She perks up at the new song that starts to play over the speakers
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bXsmGSnq3lE
>"Rest in peace, Anon's feet, because we're dancing again right now."
>Dash and her freaking rock songs...
>Before she has a chance to draw you away, you down some punch and cringe
>Oh well, you could use the courage
>This time around, it's slower than the animalistic thrusting of before
>You actually face Dash, who takes your hands in her own
>"Remember what Rarity taught you?"
"Kind of."

>Out of respect, your classmates give you and Dash plenty of room
>You dance with her, nice and rhythmic, along with the music
>A couple of times you actually spin her around
>Getting Rarity to teach you was a great damn idea, your footwork is reasonably good
>At least, you don't step on her
>Neither of you make conversation, you just look into each other's eyes
>Fuck, you were wrong twice before, THIS...this was perfect
>As the song comes to a close, you feel disappointed, so you try something new
>You dip Dash down, almost to the floor, like you used to see them do on the ballroom dancing show your mom watched
>"Woah."
>Dash looks up at you surprised, and you hold her there as the song ends
>Then you pull her up a bit and kiss her
>A few wolf whistles from the crowd, a few giggles too
>You break apart with her, praying to god you didn't overstep a boundary
>She's blushing heavily, in shock
>You fucked up Anon
>Then she returns the favor with so much enthusiasm that you almost fall backwards
>This time the crowd laughs as the tension breaks
>When Dash draws her tongue back into her mouth, the lights go on and everybody protests with a collective groan
>Celestia's voice booms over the speakers
>"Alright everyone, it's time to wrap it up, make sure to get home safe and have a nice night!"
>It must be pretty late, the time really flew by
>Dash stands up next to you as your classmates start filing to the exits
"So...what do we do now?"
>"Post prom man! Duh?"
>That's right, Rarity's party
>Under normal circumstances, you'd be scared shitless of such a social encounter
>But tonight, you are Anon, the dancing horseman who kisses girls
>And also has some vodka in him
"Fuck yeah."

>Rarity's suit feels slightly damp with sweat as you walk to the exit with Dash
>Along the way, you get countless claps on the back
>Apparently you did right by your classmates tonight
>If only you had been outgoing a long time ago...
>Dash sticks close by you until you get outside to where the bikes are stashed
"Damn, I forgot that we rode here."
>"Don't worry, Rarity's isn't too far from here."
>A shout from a nearby limousine makes you turn away from the juniper hiding your bikes
>Rarity: "Anonymous dear, why don't you and Dash ride over with us?"
>Nearby, Rarity's head is sticking out the tinted window of a large stretch limo
>The throbbing of a nice set of subwoofers echos out the sides of the monster
"Fuck it, sure."
>Abandoning the bikes where you left them, you and Dash climb into the limousine with Rarity and her entourage
>As you sit your ass down into one of the leather seats, you look around at the interior
>Directly in front of you in a well stocked mini bar, and a few televisions
>Rarity sits down on your left, Dash on your right
>You put an arm around each of them in your euphoric state
>Yeah, you drank a lot more punch than you should have
>At the very least you weren't sick yet
>The drive over is mostly just everybody head dancing in their seats while they drink profusely
>At some point, somebody puts a glass of champagne in your hand, and you don't fight it
>It isn't as bad as fucking whiskey, at least
>You shiver as the taste of seven crown invades your mouth from your memories
>By the time you get to Rarity's house, you actually managed to drink it all
>The doors open onto her front lawn, and you see that you're not at all the only people attending
>Judging from the noise alone, there must be a two hundred people in the backyard
>Dash: "Come on man, let's go get fucked up!"
"Um...alright."
>Normal and coherent Anon worries about cops showing up and the music being too loud
>Slightly buzzed Anon wants to try drinking straight vodka

>Back around the house, you find the bulk of the party going down around the pool
>A raised platform holds a DJ, who's blasting music ever the heads of the party goers
>The DJ isn't Vinyl Scratch, which seems odd at first
>Then you remember that this is prom for her as well, so she's probably partying
>Yep, there she is, dancing like a maniac with a bottle of fucking rum in her hand
>As far as you can see, there isn't a single person who isn't drinking
>Don't be a square Anon
>Dash: "There's the bar."
>You follow her pointing hand with your eyes to a full bar across the way, where a bartender dishes out drinks left and right
>She eagerly makes her way over to it, with you gently pushing people aside to keep up
>As you get there, Dash turns around with a pair of margaritas in hand
>"Drink this."
>You're conscience yells at you over the music and rabble of the crowd
>["Anon, this is fucking idiotic, remember what happened that one time you got drunk?"]
>Half and halfing a whole bottle of whiskey with cherry coke, yeah...you puked a lot
>But tonight was a night for not giving a shit
>You address yourself the best way you can over the raging noise around you 
"Fuck you, me."
>Dash: "What was that?"
>You take the drink from her and take a huge gulp
"Fuck it, I could be dead by next Sunday. Let's have some fun."
>Her shit eating grin erupts from ear to ear
>Dash: "That's my boy."
>She pats your back and drinks some of her own drink
>Before too long you find yourself dancing again with Dash, Rarity, and even Sunset Shimmer
>This time around it's a lot more fun though
>Must be because of all the booze
>At some point Dash comes to get you, and pulls you over to a table to sit for a while
>Between sips of water, you look around at the goings on of the party
>People are starting to slip away into the shadows
>It must be that time of the night then

>A tray of shot glasses filled with vodka hits the table in front of you
>All around, everybody takes up shot glasses as the DJ changes the song
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QpTpPmrbwvI
>Dash: "Let's go man! Time for shots!"
>Like a drunken fool, you start thrusting your head around as everybody gets ready to down the vodka
>Rarity appears next to you and holds up her glass while putting an arm around you
>You pull her close, she feels really nice and soft and warm right now
>Rarity: "What shall we drink to, darling?"
>That's a good question
>In light of the events of the week, you find it hard to come to a conclusion
>If Dash hadn't got up in your business a week ago, you'd be in bed playing fallout right now
>Everybody goes silent as you hold up your own shot glass and roar to the air around you
"Here's to jumping sharks!"
>They roar approval right back and everybody up-ends their drinks
>You choke it down as best as you can
>Jesus, did you just drink hand sanitizer?
>Your mind can visualize the inner workings of your throat and stomach as the shit burns your ass on the way down
>The glass hits the table as you take a few deep breaths
>Dash straightens you up and looks into your eyes
>"You alright man?"
>A ridiculous laugh escapes you as you recover from the shot
"I am invincible!"
>"How about we play some pool inside?"
>What better time than right now for a sweet re-match with her?
"You're on Rainbow girl. Let me just get another drink."
>The bartender gives you a coke and whiskey without argument
>Maybe you're feeling nostalgic, maybe you're feeling reckless
>You drink it down without thinking too much
>Dash leads the way to the basement, with you bumping into shit behind her

>At the bottom of the stairs, you find it a lot less populated
>The only people are treehugger and her squad gathered around the coffee table
>In between them all they've got a nice looking bong and what looks like a pound of kush
>And they're hotboxing the basement with a vengeance
>Dash: "You guys mind if we play some pool?"
>Treehugger: "Nah man, go for it."
>You start racking up the poolballs
>Dash gets pool cues ready
"Hey Dash, remember playing pool a week ago?"
>"Yeah man, that was fun."
>She breaks, and ends up getting stripes
"Doesn't it feel like a long time ago?"
>You take your turn and knock down a couple of solids before missing
>Dash: "Kind of...yeah. A lot's happened huh?"
>She misses immediately, and you go back to shooting after staring at the clock
>Man, it smells really poignant around you
>The slight sickness from the booze starts to become less...shitty, as you inhale a ton of smoke
"I almost spent prom night playing video games alone, you know."
>Another few solids disappear as you continue playing
>Dash: "See, aren't you glad you said yes and not no?"
"Very much."
>You line up a shot on the 8 ball, and pull back with the pool cue
>Dash: "Don't fuck up again, remember last time."
>Your hand slips as you take your shot
>History repeats itself, and the cue ball goes rocketing past the eight ball, straight into the corner pocket
>You and Dash break out into hysterical laughter for a bit
>Some things never change
"Now what?"
>Dash puts down her pool cue and walks around the table to you slowly
>"Now, the fun starts."

"It hasn't started yet?"
>Dash sends a text on her phone as she pulls you up the stairs to the first floor
>"Not really no, I've just got to get a hold of somebody first."
>The first floor doesn't seem to be your destination, Dash keeps going up the next flight of stairs
>Suffice to say, you're very confused
"Dash, where are we going?"
>"We need an empty room..."
>She tries the first door she comes across
>It's locked
>The next door opens at her touch, but inside you find Trixie getting railed over the bathroom sink
>Dash: "Sorry."
>She closes the door and keeps going
>Trixie's ass is now burned into your retinas
>Conclusions start to get drawn in your mind
"I think I'm starting to get the vibe here."
>The next door she tries leads to what must be Rarity's room, judging from the interior
>For the love of god, she's got a GIGANTIC four poster bed
>Besides that, there's a walk in closet that might be as big as your house
>Dash pushes you inside the room first, and shuts the door behind her
>In the center of the room, you look around in confused wonder
"Isn't Rarity going to be annoyed that we're using her room?"
>She answers a text with a grin before she address you
>"Nah, I don't think Rarity's gonna be at all upset about this."
"Ok."
>You stand, waiting
>Dash looks between you and the door, biting her lip
"So...are we doing this or what?"
>"Just a minute, we're waiting for someone."
"What."
>You don't even manage to say it as a question, you're too surprised
>Then the door opens again and you understand why Rarity wouldn't be upset that you're using her room
>Because she just walked in

>There's a spot on your leg that you've been pinching a lot in the last week
>You squeeze it as hard as you can right now, and find pain as an answer
>At this rate, you'll have a permanent bruise from trying to wake yourself up
>In the meantime, cross-faded Anon tries to put two and two together
"Dash, what's going on?"
>Before she answers, Rarity closes the door and locks it
>Rarity: "Anonymous Darling, while you do look very dapper in the suit, I'm going to ask you to take it off."
>This is bullshit...right?
>At some point you're going to get your organs harvested and they're going to eat you afterwards
"Seriously, what the hell is going on?"
>Dash: "Are you really going to argue with this Anon?"
>Her skeptical face hits you hard, while Rarity simply looks slightly hungry
"This...is a three way?"
>You throw Dash a questioning look, and she responds with a nod
"Okey dokey then..."
>Dreams do come true
>As Rarity and Dash watch, you pull off the suit jacket and let the pants hit the floor
>The shirt and tie stay on for the moment, mostly because you aren't confident that you couldn't get the tie off
>At least, not while drunk and stoned
>You leave on the underwear, still a little nervous about the presence of Rarity 
"So, Dash...you're cool with this?"
>In her usual fashion, she uses actions to respond instead of words
>For this particular scenario, the action is to shove you backwards onto the bed
>You sprawl amongst the sheets, which feel very comfortable to your inebriated mind
>However, you barely get to enjoy them when you're distracted by the sight at the end of the bed
>Rarity and Dash
>Stripping down to their underwear
>There won't be a case of whiskey dick for you tonight
>You're already good to go

>It doesn't take them very long to get ready as well
>Dash seems to have gone with nothing too spectacular for the occasion
>Just her usual sports bra and panties
>Rarity, on the other hand...
>When did she find the time to put on white stockings?
>And by the looks of it, you'd have to be careful with the lace in her underwear
>Oh god, you won't be lasting very long at all
"So yeah...sorry ahead of time if I kind of blow my load here. No pun intended."
>Dash: "We have all night man, just relax."
>All night
>At this rate you'd have to call off work on your first fucking day
>You're such a lazy bastard Anon
>Now, your lady friends look at each other while you wait on the bed
>Dash: "You can go first if you want."
>Rarity gives you a lewd grin that you respond to with a nervous one of your own
>Rarity: "I shall."
>She walks around the right side of the bed and sits down next to your bulging tent
>Dash heads a bit further north and sits next to your head
>Coherent words escape you, so you say the only ones that come to mind
"Hey Dash."
>Dash: "Sup."
>Then she sticks her tongue down your throat
>You busy yourself worrying about Dash's tongue first, and don't really notice your underwear heading south
>A slight breeze around your manly bits brings you to your senses in time
>But you can't look up, since Dash has such a firm hold on your face with her hands
>In your life, you've not felt a tongue on your dick very often
>Nonetheless, you can't possibly mistake the feeling and manage to look up at what Rarity is doing to you
>Yep, she's got your dick in her mouth
"Fuuuuuck."
>Dash puts an end to your moaning with her tongue again, and you put a hand on her head to draw her closer
>Defcon 5

>Rarity continues moaning all over your dick while Dash continues moaning into your mouth
>Holy hell, the pleasure
>There's something about the weed that makes everything seem a lot more vibrant
>And then of course, the liquor is doing a good job of keeping everything docile
>Rarity keeps up her process of stroking you while rubbing your balls
>You're about as slick as a well lubricated gear chain just from her saliva
>In a short amount of time you feel the tell tale signs of an impending orgasm
>It's a struggle to escape Dash, but you manage it for a second time to save Rarity's mouth
"Rarity, I don't know what the...hugh...plan is, but I'm going to be done VERY soon."
>Your dick makes a pop as it leaves her mouth
"Right then..."
>Rarity stands up on the bed, and takes off her bra
>Maybe you switched to being an assman too soon
>Her chest is phenomenal, to put it delicately
>In lewder words, she has a fucking huge pair of milky tits
>Rarity: "What position should we start with Anon?"
>You watch her drop her panties next, your eyes widening as the seconds go by
"Surprise me."
>Dash looks impatient, so you go back to making out with her while reaching a hand down to find her slit
>Severe wetness in her crotch makes you feel bad that you've been neglecting her
"My bad Dash, let me get in there for ya."
>You put a hand down the front of her pants to get going at her business, and stop dead as Rarity straddles you
>Cowgirl it is then
>Rarity: "By the way Anon, don't worry about cumming inside, I'm covered."
>Implying you'd have any choice at this rate
"That's good to hear."
>She starts to lower herself toward you
>In the meantime, Dash climbs up behind you and kisses you upside down
>The lips of Rarity's pussy makes contact
>"CHAIRMEN CHENG WILL FAIL, CHINA WILL FALL!"

>Across the room, your phone alarm goes off in your suit pocket
>Of all the times it had to choose to go off at random, it HAD to chose now
>Everybody freezes as Liberty Prime finishes screaming around the room
>Dead. Fucking. Silence.
"Uh...sorry."
>Dash gets up and walks over to the suit jacket
>She removes the phone, and kicks it under the door into the hallway violently
>That's what you get Liberty Prime, you cock blocking dickhead
"So...where were we?"
>Rarity: "Right about here."
>She spears herself on you
>Your head hits the pillows at the feeling
>Defcon 4
>Her ass makes a nice loud smack each time she bounces on you
>You get to watch her tits bounce delightfully in front of you while she rides you
>Since your hands aren't doing anything, you take a hold of them, giving them a good squeeze
>Defcon 3
>Rarity: "Flick them!"
"What?"
>Dash, leaning against the bedpost watching, laughs
>Dash: "The nipples, meathead."
"Right..."
>With your thumbs, you rub Rarity's pink nips a couple times each, skeptical that anything would happen
>You were very wrong
>Much as Dash went rigid the times that you got her off, Rarity does something similar
>Except she pulls your head into her chest as her walls spasm around you
>With your head in her tits and your dick getting milked, you lose confidence that you can last much longer
>Defcon 2

>When she's done, she rolls off of you limply, panting by your side
>Rarity: "You haven't finished, have you dear?"
"No."
>Rarity, still clad in nothing but stockings, resumes giving you head
>Fresh from the milking you just received, your mind registers your orgasm coming around rapidly
>Funnily enough, the weed makes everything seem a lot more dull
>Everything except for your orgasm, at least 
>Defcon 1
"Fuck, Rarity I'm done. I'm cumming."
>She takes as much of you into her mouth as she possibly can as you feel yourself go blank
>The sheer force of your balls blowing out is so strong that you can almost hear it
>Spurt after spurt after spurt flies into her mouth, which stays clamped around you
>The only movement that you make is in your feet, which bend upwards involuntarily
"Holy shit."
>You fire off a few more solid ropes into her, then she pulls herself away with a sucking noise
>Dash claps next to you as Rarity swallows the lot of it
>"Bravo, but now it's my turn."
>Rarity sits down in her desk chair, looking happy and tired
>Rarity: "He's all yours Darling."
>Dash gets on top of you, taking your limp dick in her hand
>In your cross-faded afterglow, you can't even remember her name
"Hello."
>Dash: "Ready for round two?"
"I might need a hand with that."
>"No problem."
>She kisses you gently and slowly rubs you until you achieve peak performance ability
>Which doesn't take too long
"What are you in the mood for?"
>Dash mulls it over, and then turns around with her ass to you
"Sounds good to me."
>You take your head and start pushing it into her folds, but she pulls away
>"Wrong hole."

"You're shitting me."
>"Pray I don't."
>You cringe at her choice of words, and almost lose your hard on, which would be a disaster
"You're serious?"
>She nods into the blankets while you sit with a hand on each of her ass cheeks
>Just let the drunkenness take over Anon, this is what she wants
"For the record, you're a sick fuck."
>"Noted, now stop stalling."
>Pride swallowed, you redirect your assault to her second floor
>You start slow, since you're VERY hesitant to even try this
>Compared to her normal parts, there's a lot more resistance is this area
>It's tight, slick, and even warmer than her other hole
>And...not as bad as you imagined it
>She seems to squirm in pain, but cries out in pleasure at the same time
>You do your best to appreciate this opportunity
>Apparently people are into this, they must have a good reason
>You keep up a steadily increasing pace, trying not to overdo it
"How am I doing?"
>"Good."
>You notice one of her arms missing, and look down to see it frantically rubbing the hood over her clit
>Okay, that's pretty hot
>Suddenly you find your apprehension vanish
>This is alright
>Weird, but alright
>The satisfying throbbing of sexual lewdness returns as you rut her good and proper into the bed
>Stoned sex is surely the only way to do it
>Your thoughts focus solely on the pleasure as you keep going with gusto
>Then you realize the added bonus that sells this for everyone
>You get to cum inside Rainbow Dash

>As this thought goes through your head, you notice the sharp increase in wetness from below
>Dash came, a lot...everywhere
>Most of it got on your legs, which are still lined up behind her
>Too bad that you couldn't have used her pussy to get off
>Oh well, you might as well follow her lead then...
>Your own orgasm rolls around, and you bury yourself into her as you fire off a slew of cum into her
>You're cumming inside Rainbow Dash
>Not that it's the first time, but this time it's without any rubber involved
>As you finish unloading the tank, you realize that she has to work tomorrow as well
>Riding a bike
>...
>RIP Dash
>You and Dash fall apart and breath heavily as you let the blankets soak up the sweat
>Rarity seems to be content with dozing off in her chair
>Dash: "Not bad."
"Not bad? We just painted her bed white for god's sake."
>Dash snuggles herself into your side contently
>"Alright, that was pretty good."
>You hug her back
"I'm glad."
>"How long until we have to go to work tomorrow?"
>You look at Rarity's nightstand clock
"A few hours I think."
>"Let's go home then."
>Dash and yourself put your clothes back on after cleaning up a bit 
>Rarity's out cold, hopefully she'll be alright alone for a while
"You feel good about walking?"
>This question gets answered for you before the pair of you make it to the front door
>Each of you can barely stand up straight
"This is going to be a long walk."

>The bike trek through the woods was a long and difficult journey
>But at least then you had your sobriety to rely on for that
>Walking back to the hotel, and then back to your house proves to be just as demanding
>Neither of you feel much like riding the bikes for the second half of the trip, so you just walk along with Dash
>It's a little bit cold out, and you can feel the weed starting to wear off
>Which spells trouble, since it makes your alcohol poisoning much more apparent
>At least three times, you stop and puke your guts out into random trash cans and bushes
>Dash doesn't puke at all, she can really hold her liquor
"Never again, by the way."
>"Isn't that what you said last time?"
"Yes, and now I'm saying it again."
>She pats your back as you walk up the lawn to your front door
"You just need some sleep meathead."
>Dash takes pity on you and opens up the door with your key
>The bikes lay abandoned in the front garden since you don't feel like opening the garage
"Want to stay the night? My dad isn't here."
>"Sure, I kind of feel like playing some more games anyway."
>You watch her go upstairs to your room
>In the darkened living room, you stand alone
>Dash is upstairs, presumably booting up the xbone
>For some reason, you try thinking deeply about your experiences
>Instead you go over to the kitchen and throw up again
>As you wipe off your mouth, you laugh to yourself in the dark
>For better or for worse, this week was worth it
>Thank god you agreed to take Dash on the bike ride
>Humming contently, you trod the path upstairs and enter your room
>Dash is already sprawled on the floor in one of your t-shirts, tapping away at a controller
>You lie down on the bed and close your eyes
"Goodnight Dash."
>"Goodnight meathead."