A Recipe for Happiness

Dunkelzahn Loves Ponies

A Recipe for Happiness

An EqG’s Pinkie Pie and Anon greentext

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Prompt
> Pinkie was smart.

> Like, really smart.

> Everyone knows that Sunset Shimmer is smart, and so too the new transfer student Twilight Sparkle.

> But frequently Pinkie's name gets posted up there at the top of exams with them.

> Sometimes even above them.

> But everyone knows that's just Pinkie being a quirky girl.

> After all, comedians tend to have a high IQ, right?


> What people didn't know: Pinkie was a nervous wreck

> Full on social anxiety; the more people there were the more invasive thoughts and concerns about their mood.

> Her mind was overclocked to constantly read people, and figuring out what had them down.

> Sometimes before people even realized they had something to feel down about.

> That whole 'Pinkie Feeling' wasn't really true, there was nothing magical about her.

> She was just a girl who was too smart to not see people's problems, and too kind to ignore them.


> It just so happens she's also a nervous talker and a nervous joker.

> Which is why she is constantly on the go and talking.

> What's worse, whenever she gets comfortable enough with someone to quiet down, they start worrying about her.

> So she starts stressing out again, and bam... "Pinkie's back to being good ole pinkie".

> So, despite her brilliant IQ and grasp of human interaction, her manic personality problems keep her from really thinking about herself.

> One day during a particularly long lecture though, she starts daydreaming about herself... Writing down what she really wanted.


1. Someone who is honest about their feelings, so she wouldn't have to worry about it.

2. Someone who was willing to put up with her shenanigans, but also willing to stand up to her when they got out of hand

3. Someone who could forgive her for said shenanigans without coddling her.

4. Someone who she could not just make happy, but contented simply by being around.

5. ~


> She even outlines her dream dates and gifts.

> But before she can finish one of her friends leans over and asks if she's feeling alright.

> After all she was quiet all through class today.

> She laughs and says she was just so bored with the lecture she was sleeping with her eyes open...

> As she crumples the piece of paper.

> She couldn't possibly share stuff like that, it'd make her friends sad.

> She'd never ever let that happen.

> As the gaggle of girls walk out of the classroom she tosses the balled-up whimsy filled paper into the trash, not realizing she missed.

> The last to leave the room, Anonymous, absentmindedly picks the errant scrap up and almost throws it away.

> Until his eyes catch the title of Pinkie's Daydream.

> In cutesy and curly writing, decorated with rainbows, birds, and little ponies is written "A Recipe for Happiness"


Post #1

> You are Pinkie Pie, everyone's favorite party girl and friend.

> Twirling your favorite pencil (it's the one with the rubbery pink grip sleeve on it), you're staring down Sunset Shimmer.

> She's upset.

> "Pinkie, What are you looking at..."

> Obviously about you staring at her, but also more than that.

> Her hair is frazzled slightly, which means she either sped through her morning routine or had been scratching her head a lot.

> There were no exams today, so that left out a speedy hair tidying.

> Which meant she was scratching her head over something.


> "Maybe she's imagining your head as a breakfast omelet."

> Rainbow Dash interjects, getting a quiet giggle from Fluttershy.

> "My hair does NOT look like bacon and eggs."

> Her left eye twitches slightly when she says that, which strikes you odd.

> Normally her right eye twitched when she was angry in good humor.

> In a huff she brings her hands up to preen her hair, clearly self-conscious.

> that's when you see it, and with a smile you giggle and reach into your bag.


"Sunset silly, if you ran out of hand lotion you could have just asked me during homeroom."

> You toss her a small travel size bottle of lotion, which she almost drops as she stammers.

> "H-how... What... Pinkie, have you been spying on me! How did you know I ran out?"

> You shake your head and put your hand on your chest like a filly scout.

"No ma'am, scouts honor!"


> Twilight sits down next to Sunset and laughs at her confusion.

> "It's Pinkie Pie, it's best not to question it."

> "Yea, it'd be easier for Rarity to shoot a perfect game in HORSE than figure how her Pinkie Sense works." Rainbow Dash says as she gives you a friendly rub on the shoulder.

> "H-hey, what's that supposed to mean? I'll have you know I have very good hand-eye coordination"

> Rarity starts arguing with Rainbow Dash, and everyone starts joining it.

> Poking fun at each other in good humor, you join it too though you don't really put much thought to it.

> Twilight's simple statement clinged to you.

> 'best not to question it'


> It was frustrating knowing that no one wanted to ask you anything.

> Nothing important anyways, like help on a math problem, or the right way to translate a french line for class, or what kind of books you liked to read.

> Those kinds of topics from Sunset or Twilight —or even Rainbow Dash because of the novelty of a jock being enamored by high fantasy and pulp fiction— were often something people looked forward to.

> But with you they were just awkward subjects, so people avoided them.

> Just another part of your 'best not to think about it’ mystique.

> Unless it was party planning, or dating advice, or even the occasional bit of fashion second-opinion.

> Those sort of people and taste questions were super simple, and people expected them from you.

> Eventually however, your frustration would fade with the satisfaction of bringing a smile to someone's face or brightness to their day.

---


> Smack

> "Are you listening Pinkie Pie?"

> You look up from your desk, wide eyed as your history teacher Stern Lectern smacks the desk with his ruler.

"Mmhm, absolutely!"

> That was a lie, you weren't paying attention at all.

> You were also wrong earlier, you were still frustrated despite the laughs you got from the girls.

> "Is that so, then answer me this..."

> Your teacher tosses you the a yellow whiteboard marker, clearly expecting you to soon be in front of the class and copying his lecture to the board.

> "When and what ended the crusades of the Hoofite Wars?"

"The Council of Basel, 1436"

> You could see Lecterns knuckles go from green to white as he clutched his ruler.

> "That's... correct. I'm glad you've been paying attention after all..."

> He knew you weren't though, you never did when he went over stuff he had assigned as reading the day before.

> But defeated he returns to writing notes on the whiteboard for the other students, who all grin and whisper of his sound defeat at the hands of 'the most unlikely hero'


> You return to your doodles.

> Rainbows, flowers, dancing rabbits and prancing ponies.

> Things that made you happy.

> But...

> What would make you happy?

> You're so frustrated, you have been since lunch.

> Your schoolmates quick dismissal of your answer as nothing more than a 'funny accident by a funny girl' getting under your skin much more than you should let it.

> Without thinking, you start making a list of your self-centered thoughts.


> If you could find someone you could trust to tell you when they were actually sad, that'd be nice.

> Having to pick through every crumb of information on someone to determine if they were having a bad day or something more was so stressful.

> Someone who wasn't a sour puss, but not a pushover either.

> A lot of your friends were either too worried about your popularity to question you, or they were so worried about every little thing that they never let you leave what they thought was your comfort zone.

> Last month you wanted to go to the math rally, but Twilight was so dead set on thinking you were doing it for her.

> You ended up not going because you didn't want her to feel guilty.

> The list keeps growing as you prattle your inner dialogue onto the page.

> At some point it diverged into dates, who you'd like to spend time with.

> The mushy kind of stuff that Rarity would go on about sometimes over a sundae with you.

> It was kind of fulfilling to be honest, even if it was just wish fulfillment and empty calories...

> Well, not empty calories for you since you weren't eating ice cream right now, but the statement still stands.


> Maybe gifts would be nice too.

> Something other than pop music CDs and sweets.

> Not that you didn't like sweets but you had more interests than that.

> A new ink set would be nice, or the last season of Horse M.D

> You never got to finish that show because your cable got cut, and your parents didn't feel any of those 'on-demand' services were worthwhile.

> Actua-


> "You alright Pinkie? Usually you're the first one out of Lectern's classes."

> You sharply inhale, your hair bouncing as you look up.

> Apple Jack's looking at you, and not the paper.

> You laugh, keeping her eyes where they belong while you slowly slide the paper to the side of the desk.

"Oh, yea. I guess I got so bored I lost track of time."

> "No kidding. I spend most of the class doodling too."

> You crumple the paper in your hand as you get up.

"So AJ, what's your plan for the day?"

> The two of you start walking to the door.

> "Nothing much, was gonna ask Dash if she wanted to check out that new burger joint that opened up. Wanna come?"

> As you pass through the threshold and into the hall, you toss the ball of silly dreams into the trash bin and focus on what's really important.

"Absolutely."

Post #2
> Be Anonymous.

> Also known as 'that guy with no real talents'.

> Also known as 'who?'

> You had transferred into this school when your family came here from...

> Well, it doesn't really matter, you're never going back there and you'll never see your friends again.

> Your dad who was usually a miser had actually offered to get you a texting plan so you could keep in touch.

> But you told him it was better to save your money for important things (and holy shit, you had never seen him so proud of you when you said that).

> Really though, what was the point?

> Staying in touch with them would be like watering a dying tree.


> Unfortunately, your first month in school had been a bust.

> The first two days were alright, everyone wanted to see what you were all about.

> When it became clear though you weren't particularly amazing at anything though, they got bored and stopped talking to you.

> Which is why you were still at your desk, taking your sweet time putting your notes away as the other students fled.

> You always prefered being the last one out, it made the fact you had no one to spend some of your after-school hours with a bit less depressing.

> Much to your surprise however, you're almost not the last one out.


> A very familiar laugh beckons you to look.

> Pinkie Pie and Apple Jack are at the desk in the front, sharing snide remarks about Stern Lectern.

> You don't really pay much mind, it had nothing to do with you.

> And as luck would have it as you stood up and strapped your backpack to you, it became clear.

> You were still the undisputed champion of leaving last, and all alone in the classroom.


> As you meander out the door though you hear the scuffle of paper and look down.

> A crumpled piece of paper, once a ball but now flat, was half under your foot.

> You roll your eye and reach down to pick it up.

> You weren't really a neat freak, but it was obnoxious to see litter literally a foot away from a half-empty trash bin.

> Before you can throw it away however something catches your eye, curious shapes and doodles.

> Innocent curiosity takes over as you look around, and see no one.

> You carefully start unfolding the letter.


> It's actually REALLY crumpled, and it took some thinking on how to unfold the bugger without tearing it.

> This is surprisingly thrilling.

> Despite this just being trash, it's still someone else's.

> Someone who had clearly wanted it to stay in the trash, only to be foiled by a bad toss.

> Oh, there was a sentence now...

> "A recipe for happiness"

> Something about the letters seemed familiar.

> The bouncy faux-cursive, the rainbow and critter motifs.

> You just knew you had seen this before...


> But you can't quite place it...

> And that just fans your curiosity.

> You unsling your backpack and return to your desk.

> Using the hard surface you begin to return the scrap into a more proper paper form.

> A list begins to emerge, of some sort.

> It's a bit erratic, but the title of recipe kind of made sense.

> It was like someone was literally cataloging every teenage encounter fantasy they ever had.


> "Sharing a milkshake, via a misordered milkshake"

> "A convenient walk home during a storm turns into a soaked stomp through the streets"

> "Being asked for a study session after placing first above Sparkle and Sunset"

> ... Wait.

> Above Sparkle and Sunset?

> Something ticks in your mind, the answer to where you recognized this writing from slowly worming its way to you.

> You remember looking at the exam scores, pretty bummed out that you were going to be near the bottom due to your transfer being in the middle of the school year.

> The crowd that gathered were laughing because the two smartest girls at school had ended up in third and second...

> Pinkie Pie had been at the top of the list...


> Pinkie Pie had sent you a 'Welcome to Canterlot High' card too.

> You look back up to the title of this paper.

> There was no doubt, it was the exact kind of written bubbliness you had seen on the letter.

> For a moment your heart stops as you realize then what you're looking at.

> A condensed version of everything Pinkie Pie ever wanted.


> You lean over the paper, staring at it so intently that it might as well burst into flames.

> What were you doing?

> What were you going to do?

> You had in your hands the most private thoughts of the most popular and beloved girl in Canterlot High.

> An uncensored look into the girl every mean bitch wanted to be, and every slimy guy wanted to have an honest chance to know.

> All to your unknown, unimportant, undignified, unrelated, and unintended self.


> Your first thought is that you should just destroy it.

> Just knowing you had read this made you feel... Oily.

> Like you had snuck into Pinkie Pie's room, a complete if fairly nice stranger, and watched her sleep levels of oily.

> These were her intimate thoughts after all, completely undressed of careful words and tacitly shaped truths.

> You shudder.


> But try as you might, that oily feeling wouldn't let you stand up.

> Because while it made your soul feel slick, it also felt a bit better than having the constant itinerary of 'go home and do nothing'.

> Because it was telling you, that this right here....

> This was the key to having everything you had wanted since coming to this town that did nothing but make you miserable.

> And in the wise words of Gene Wilder: "Don’t forget what happened to the man who suddenly got everything he wanted.".

> You can't help but smile as you pull out a protective sleeve from your backpack and slide in the recipe.


> He lived happily ever after.


Post #3


> Be Rainbow Dash, in the courtyard messing around with a soccer ball while you waited.

> You and AJ would meet up after school if there wasn't anything going on, and it was always started with one of you waiting by the statute[a] while the other one was invariably late.

> Today, you got the honor of complaining about your friends slow pace.

> Although to be honest it is taking a bit longer than usual.

> Really, having a different last period than AJ was a huge drag.

> Super boring too since Pinkie wasn't with you either.

> But unfortunately last period was the only time slot for the new weightlifting class.

> Money Bags had donated a ton of sweet equipment to the school over the winter, and there was no way you were going to pass up on a chance to use it.


> "Dash! We got a third for burgers!"

> You turn around, grabbing the soccer ball mid-air without a glance.

> When you see it's Pinkie that AJ pulled along, you can't help but get a big grin on your face.

"You sure that's a good idea Apples? We might end up having another bizarre food experiment on our hands."

> Applejack rolls her eyes.

> "Eugh. I don't care what you say, peanut butter just don't belong on a burger."

> Pinkie pouts at this, pursing her lips.

> "That's not even fair, you didn't even try it."

> Applejack just sticks her tongue out in disgust, and the three of you laugh.

"Well, we're not going to get to have AJ's purest burger if we don't get outta here."


> You turn around to pick your bag up, expecting the other two to start walking.

> Instead as you bend down to take the strap in your hands, you just hear a single set of footsteps...

> And a slight panting.

> You turn around and see some guy doubled over on his knees catching his breath.

> "You uh, alright there fella?"

> "Yea, just let me *hoo* catch my breath"


"Right uh..."

> You don't remember ever seeing this guy before.

> He was pretty bland looking, wearing the most generic clothing you could imagine.

> Probably just some loser looking to hang out with the best girls.

"Well I'm sure the statue will just love to hear you wheeze, while we all go. Right girls?"

> Shooting a look to the others for support, you see Apple Jack give you a loot[b] of agreement.

> She wasn't too sure what was going on with the creep either.


> "I sure hope you weren't running in the halls like that. Yellow Ticket always gets a bit neurotic when school lets out~"

> Pinkie Pie...

> Of Course she'd be the one to stick around.

> She's leaning over and is picking the newcomer apart, a glimmer in her eyes.

> Just part of her being everyone's friend, and you couldn't really fault her for it.

> But it did make it a chore to keep her above water when the stalkers and bad boys tried to trick.

> If she wasn't so lucky...

> Eh, you don't feel like shuddering so you cut that thought short.


> "Run? In the halls with that shining example of hallway enforcement? Never" the guy says, having finally caught his breath and standing up.

> Before he can go any further though AJ pops the question you were wanting to ask.

> "So no offense, but why all the running anyways? I don't imagine we've ever met before. Who are you?"

> "Me? Anonymous Greene."

> Pinkie giggles at that.

> "Oh, you're the new student that transferred in on the first!"

> Anonymous nods and smiles, to which you just sigh.

> You really wanted to just get over to that burger place and hang out already, not watch some awkward transfer student spill hot pasta.

"That's really nice, you want to ask us out or something?"


> To your surprise he didn't back pedal at the accusation.

> Actually he straight up chuckled as he reached into his pocket and started unfolding something.

> "Something like that actually."

> You swear you hear the crisp sound of an apple snapping apart from inside AJ's head.

> Anon holds out the print out of the mid-term results.

> "I bombed the mid-terms since I missed out on almost all the lessons. So I'm thinking maybe if I could get help from a list topper I could you know, maybe catch u-"


> You laugh, and AJ does too.

"Woah, wait a second there pal. It's true that Twilight and Sunset ARE my friends. But you'd probably have better luck finding them in the library than with us after school, that's where they actually hold study club."

> You roll your eyes and turn to walk away.

> Was this Anon guy for real?

> He was so new he didn't even know what Twilight and Sunset looked like?

> Practically everyone else knew the two top eggheads on sight, yet this jok-


>"But... I'm looking for Pinkie Pie. She's the one who topped the list right?"

> You again whip around to give him a dumbfounded look.

> But you end up face to face with the little paper he brought, his finger next to the highest scoring student for the mid-terms.

> Pinkie Pie.


>... Was this guy really that thick?

> Everyone knew Pinkie Pie did well with all the tests and stuff.

> But she was all about crazy antics and hanging out.

> Not nerd stu-

> "Ok! Me and my best buddies ever are going out for a bite right now but we could do it some othertime."

> She brings both you and AJ in for a hug as she says buddies.

> AJ has as much a confused look as you do.

> "Oh, wait why don't you come with us?!!"

> In a whirlwind of movement you're suddenly in a circle holding hands with Pinkie and AJ

> "Come on, won't it be more fun to have one more for burgers? We can even play a game afterwards, because four people is the perfect number for a game of Colt Captor Sakura the Card Gaaaame."

[a]statue

[b]look