>be anon
>be in pony land
>you've fucked up now 
>who knew rubbing a bat ponies ears bounded you to a relationship with one
> You really hoped purplesmart was fucking with you.
>But then that damn mare had to confirm it.
>Well maybe this date tonight won't be so bad.
>"So uh..what are you"
>shit shit shit this was terrible why couldn't you keep your damn hands to your self 
You are in a restaurant
"Uh I'm a human"
>smooth way to say that retard
>"a human hmm"
>shit do you ever hate silence 
"So what's your name anyway"
>"oh my name is spring glade"
>great silence nice of you to join
>"look anon"
>fuck she knew your name and you didn't know hers God just pulling out all the stops are you
>I'm sorry you are here and I know you would rather be somewhere el-
>oh shit
"NO wait"
>you said a bit too quickly
"I'm having a blast I mean I never really go out so this is nice"
>she looks shocked maybe cause you raised your voice
>"but anon the only reason you are here is because of tradition"
>tradition? Guess she could see your confusion
>"yeah! bat ponies ears are sentimental things like Pegasus feathers only without the giving our partner ears .we nuzzle each other with them to show our affection."
"Pfft that's great"
>"well how do humans do it"
>well shit how to dose it work
"Uh well how I see it is like um say you have one half of something and most of your life is spent trying to going that other half but you need to make sure both your pieces are going to work together and not mismatched"
>she looks deep in thought crap did you brake her 
>you snap your fingers at her
>"I think I get it. Man you humans are complex as hay"
"Kinda I guess like yours"
>"not really if you like someone here you tell them and either it works or it doesn't"
"Ours is like that to an extent as well in my book"
>The rest of your night goes smoothly, as you talk about what is different between your world's and before you knew it you are walking her home
>"Wait so you're telling me, your kind just makes different technology just kill each other I can't imagine what's it like !"
"No, not entirely technology can be both good or bad depends on how the person uses it...Also, promise me you will keep quiet about the weapons the last thing I want is a power hungry Celestia using my species ideas to actually rule the world"
>she giggles and winks
>"No promises"
>Welp crap if some kind of fallout happens from a rainbow nuke at least you know that some of humanity's ideas are not to be shared
>As the two of you two walk you really take a good look at spring glades features
>deep blue coat and long dark magenta hair not to mention her lovely emerald green eyes, her wings are different than pegasi like leather looking and no feathers, her Cutie Mark is of a pool, your guess is a glade like her name suggests
>"Welp we are here are"
>shit she caught you staring at her butt and she's blushing
>You quickly look up and around at your surroundings to see that her house is a small and secluded not far from rarity's boutique
"Uh shit well it was a nice date and I hate for the fun to end but I kinda gotta go see ya later"
>"uh yeah sure"
>as you walk away you curse at yourself ending that like an autismo 
>you look back and wave she does the same and goes inside.
>when you leave her gate you realize that you have no idea how to get home from here.
> you still practically hold twilight hand?... Hoof Around town speaking of which.
> You better find the town, you'll find your way from there.
>Well fuck by the time you made it to your sha-home yeah home it was like 3 am.
>Damn skittish ponies, fuckers never even looked back when you walk up to them.
> Reminder start going into town so that these ponies get used to you.
>why do you even live out here in the crazy ass forest, guess it keeps the xenophobic ponies away though they warmed up to you as of late, albeit very slowly.
>you might actually try to get a house in town maybe you won't get so lost next time.
> Images flashed of those three ponies running and screaming cross your mind.
>Well on second thought it's not so bad, not to mention the weather controlling its self and wild animals being themselves instead of ponies intervening reminds you of home
>Not to mention from time to time you find cool shit, Like last week you found a stick that wrapped around your arm now it's like a third arm that can grab and Pierce though shit.
>Though you might want to get it removed because spring glade told you those grow around swampy areas and leach off your life force
>oh well you'll deal with it later, as you slam face first into your "bed" and totally not pass out from head trauma 
> As you wake up you feel something off and not from banging your head on hard things.
>As you walk outside, you quickly notice multiple shapes moving just outside of the clearing.
>It couldn't be twi or her friends ,you  purposely went the opposite of her directions for a "safe building area", just so she wouldn't find you
>A figure comes out and... Oh shit its motherfucking Spring Glade 
"The hell are you doing in my swamp, you could've gotten yourself killed In the forest!"
>She looks up very relieved then very angry 
>"What the buck are YOU doing out here! I was worried sick, a couple of ponies reported a huge monster in town late last night so the guard got called in."
>Lol what those ponies last night reported you to the guard, they must have missed the memo.
"Yo chill dude they were probably talking about me." 
>Hopefully
"Also you are in the guard"
>She looks irritated 
>"Yes I'm in the guard and are you just going around terrorizing ponies"
"What no I went to ask directions and they bolted before I got a word out"
>Its right about now that you remember you saw more than one figure in the outer rim, and huh? Why is that shadow moving and getting smaller. 
>Everything slowed down as your body moves on its own to dodge in a way that would make a smash bros player cream his pants at how perfect it was, just to see a white blur pass you as a Pegasus lands behind you
"Did you see that! That was fucking awesome" you scream as you ready you stick to attention, the one around your arm perv.
>Glade looks behind you and yells at the pony 
>"I said to wait on my signal its a false alarm"
The Pegasus looks dazed 
>"Huhzz wha" he sounds drunk
>"And what did I say about that thing on your arm" Glade states looking at your arm, shit meant to get up earlier to go to thyroid sparkle.
>Before she could tell off you more, more guards come out of the forest.
>It's a false alarm it's not a monster just the human we were informed on, "one of the guards says.
>A large groan comes from the group.
>That Pegasus behind you pukes and stumbles off with the rest of them.
"Cool beans it's not bad looking already" shout at the drunk stallion.
>"Sorry you'll have to excuse blur blight not the smartest when drunk."
 "So am I free to go." you ask glade.
>Spring Glade glares "[spoiler] try saying that three times fast[/spoiler] at you and smiles .
>"only if you go and get some ponies with me".
"Deal".
>She starts looks around your swampish area.
>It's not going to win any awards for best-looking but anything but if it keeps cold,bugs,and animals out is a good house.
>Hell with your human brain you even made a plumbing system that uses two different lakes.
>Though fighting off a hydra and a pack of stick wolves for that last piping setup was not an ideal way to spend a month, at least you have semi clean water to boil and use.
>"Anon please tell me you don't live here".
"Ok I don't live here."
>she deadpans and just keep walking around.
"So like are ya going to leave or what."
>"Why are you living out here like a animal."
>ouch that kinda stung at least you don't just shit everywhere, then again you don't think they even do THAT
"Cause I don't have the bits to get a better house"and no one's stupid enough to come help you build a better one.
>You could tell she knew you were lying.
>Then why don't you ask for them I know you know the princesses"
>fuck you never thought about that, but less time around book horse is better for you, at least only for you.
"Cause they're busy, jeez what is this questionnaire."
>"The princesses are too busy to help out a being from another world."
>Fuck when she says it like that it did sound retarded, oh well not my problem she's the one who pointed it out.
"Oh wow its about lunch time huh" you say desperately trying to change the subject.
>"Hey don't change the subject" she's in your face now, fuck damn wing ponies in your face and shit.
"Well you coming or not" as you just walk past her.
>She pouts for a bit while you stand there with your arms crossed, before giving up going with you.
>(Record scratch) this is you and you are probably wondering why you're laying on a couch, with a bat pony no less doin dem warm ass snuggles.
>Well let's rewind a bit, after the of monster incident you and springs are  going out for lunch and doing couple shit.
>Only to be bombarded with questions Every. Single. Time.
"Hold up! Before any questions are asked, no there was no monster ,no I am not the monster, and lyra I will not try bon bon's candies cause I know they're drugged"
>everyone looks at a sheepish looking lyra, before immediately turning their attention to Glade.
>With questions always ranging from what she is her relationship with you is, to do bat ponies drink blood.
>As you walk you wonder who spilled their guts about you dating someone (though it was obvious) since the  whole sputter shy incident though.
>Which you still can't believe the town made you clean up all that crap, since nutter shy is "element of harmony" bullshit.
>"so since we are dating we should have cute nicknames for each other. "
>She said breaking you out of your pity party, and here we go already but you suppose she not wrong. 
"Hmm I guess your right, how about I call you Springs, since it's kinda weird saying your full name"
>She scrunched her nose at that
>"Aww really why not something cute, oh like your little mango."
"That sounds weird and creepy but if you want me too I could, I still want to call you springs."
>The smile on her face made you cringe so hard, a black hole was formed in your gut.
>You two made it half way to the end of the block, before grumbling to yourself about how you didn't get a nickname, shooting looks at her when ever you could.
>By the time you and her made it to the cafe where your first date had happened, you had given up hope on getting one opening the door for springs.
>The poor mare behind the counter you assume is new practically shits herself, looking between a bipedal weapon to surpass metal gear and a bat pony in full armor.
 >You and springs take a seat, where for some unknown reasons the seats fit you.
"So are you going to take that armor off or something, or are you slouching on the job.
>She shifts in the abnormally big chair before answering.
>"No I'm not thank you very much I'm on my lunch break, that I just so happened to want to spend with you.
>Wow is it just you or is she a bit more, moody when she is in that armor.
>Guess power corrupts.
"Sheesh guess I appreciate you doing that"
>"Calm down big guy in just yanking your chain relax a little, honestly I'm just glad I was able to get you out of that dump you where in.
>Again ouch.
>"Ponies around here and in the guard talk about you, like your some kinda monster never leaving the forest, unless getting what you need only to go back in without a word.
>Fucking ponies making folklore about you.
"Well did you believe them?"
>She looks guilty for a moment before answering.
>"W-well I uh look out food is here" quickly changing the subject.
>guess you'll let it slide since you knew the answer.
>not to mention your food consisted of fruits and veggies you are always hungry, though you have talked to the princesses about you meat problem, till then this potato and cheese sandwich was your bitch.
>spring glades meal was some weird ass fruit dish that smelt good.
>"you want some" she asked catching you staring at her food.
"Sure you can have some of this too."
>just as you thought its weird, you don't hate it but you don't love it either.
>"Yuck I hate potatoes
"
"Eh I think they're good."
>"I still can't get over how weird humans are."
>when you both finish you leave the small cafe leaving a tip
>"So what do as a job I know whatever you do its not enough, as evident in where you live ."
>Why dose she keep bullying your swamp.
"Not doing anything Sun buns and twi pay me, as a reassurance of sorts in hope I don't go on a rampage I really don't need all of it, so I donate it to that filly with the big red bow."
>Though aj gives you hell for it cause "muh pride".
>"Aw how sweet of you."
She continues to speaks to you but it's getting kinda hard to focus, actually it's getting hard to move too .
>"uh anon you don't look to good."
"Shieeeeet"
>You collapsed right there every thing fading, only hearing springs voice.
>"Luna's stars somepony please help me!"
>When you awoke its around mid afternoon while your butt is in a hospital, and you're surrounded by all your friends.
>HA just kidding its just twilldles and her friends, your little mango and oh fuck the princesses.
>Your blood turns to ice and before you could break for the window, and hope you're on the first floor Luna speaks up
>"THE HOOMAN HAS AWOKEN DEAREST SISTER." She used her damn royal voice...in a hospital is she fucking retarded.
>Now if the big blue lovable alicorn didn't get their attention, you screaming and frantically dashing for the cracked window did.
>What they witness to was a sight to behold.
Luna had you full Nelson trying to stop you from jumping out the window in a half torn sheet.
"Lemme go damn it, is this how you say hello to people you haven't seen in awhile.
>"We had missed you so much and thou hasn't written back like promised."
>looking back to your supposed friends they are laughing, looking back at spring glade she's holding laughing back as hard as her little will could.
>After Celestia had her laugh she prys Luna off you and sets you back in your bed.
>after convincing Luna you didn't write her cause of how much fun your having here when she's done everyone starts talking to each other, it's springs turn to chew you out
>She stomps up to you.
"Hey it's nice to be back in the world of the living huh spr-"
https://youtu.be/-T8HEvu2JrI
>The room went dead silent as a slapping noise ringed in the air.
>"Do you have any IDEA how worried I was, and you have the nerve to joke about it."
Well shit here comes the water works.
Celestia leads every one out with her magic.
"Hey hey it's ok I'm fine now."
>you bring her in for a tight hug, it's kinda awkward cause of her shape but you manage.
>"I was so scared that something had happened to you, not to mention that even you ignored me even though I told what would you what would happen."
>you sigh and after a few minutes she's calmed down enough to let go of you and the doctors allowed you to leave.
>Apparently what happened to you wasn't fatal but just a loss in energy they told you to get some rest and you would be fine.
>as you walk out the lobby celestia pulls you to the side.
>"well anon what did you learn and what do you have to say for your self"
"Piss off I screwed up so what I'm alive.
>She frowns then pulls you in close you don't like this at all.
>"look here anon this isn't the first time that you being reckless has gotten you hurt, it's because I trusted you to follow my rules that you're even able to see my Sun outside of the castle walls."
"Whatever sun butt I would have preferred to stay, but it's your fault.
 "You should at least told your ponies that a new creature before setting me loose in this shit hole, I live in the fucking forest celly because your little ponies still hate me."
>She looks offended then angry, you wouldn't be surprised if she burned you alive you right there.
>"I offered you a house in town."
>Wow is celly calling you out, you would've been alright with it if she wasn't speaking so loud. 
 "and when that wasn't enough I allowed you to build your own house in the forrest so long as you built where twilight sent you and if you contacted a element every week."
>She let go of you and started to pace
>" but instead what did you do, you went off into a different more dangerous location where nopony knew where you were.
>You notice twilights and spring glades peaking around the corner.
>"Then you completely avoided the elements avoiding any questions about your whereabouts when asked, then when you did see them it was cause of what you wanted with all the trouble you have caused I still don't understand why I allowed you to leave."
"Wow I cant believe you still don't understand why I wanted to leave, you always down talk down me like I'm retarded or like I don't know how to shit."
>" you have caused property destruction."
"Hey that was flutter shys fault."
>"Counts of assault."
"I didn't even say or do anything I walked up to them, they started running and screaming."
>"need I go on"
"Actually yes so far all these have been, are misunderstandings taken way to far.
>She sighed and looked at you.
> "Look anon I still trust you and I don't think you are stupid, but my ponies are not going to automatically start liking you if you don't put in effort."
>tch she got you there.
>"I'm proud you got yourself a friend but you'd should try to make more."
>"Speaking of your friend what happened between you two, you are close with this mare I assume.
"You don't know that"
>"I doubt you would let a pony slap you and get away with it."
"Well spring glades is my girlfriend"
>oh shit her face is priceless.
>"excuse me you have a marefriend!"
>hot damn celestia calm down.
"Yeah we have been an thing for awhile I was going to tell you but you guys already showed up."
>She looks bewildered then smirks.
>"I didn't expect this so soon but that's still not enough like I said try a little harder."
"Yeah will do. "
>"Well then with that out of the way I guess I will get out of your mane and get going, also anon write Luna sometimes she gets lonely."
"Fine I'll see ya later."
>When she leaves, you go and meet up with springs.
"Welp my little mango I'll be off, see you tomorrow" 
>She blushed at the name before dawning a serious face.
>"Oh no you're  not going back to that place with you in this condition, what if you pass out and something gets you."
>you are not going to argue your way out of this, so like the man you are, you take it dragging your feet.
>it's getting dark and the both of you haven't said a word, so you decide to break the silence.
"So how much did you hear"
>"W-what do you mean."
"I saw you and twi peeping."
>She sighed then looked away.
>"A-anon do you hate ponies?"
>Where did this come from she looks sad like it pained her to say it.
"What no why would you ever think that."
>"Well ponies are still scared around you I can tell, and you were mean to celestia and everypony loves them!"
>She sounds frustrated.
>"Do really even care about me!"
>You stop dead in your tracks.
>"Anon answer me please."
>you cant believe she would ask that
"Anon please you're scaring me."
>You pick her up and start carrying her.
>H-hey lemme go anon, I'm sorry please."
>Since her house was just a short distance away carrying her was no problem, what was however was her squirming and begging to be put down.
>When you were arrive you opened her door found your way to her couch and popped a squat with her in your arms.
>She finally stopped moving and looked at you, and which you proceeded to snuggle the ever loving crap out her.
>"H-hey! Quit it A-anon what are yo-Ooh sweet celestia yes."
>You rubbed her ears while she nuzzled you in a way, that brought warmth to your cold heart.
>when you both finished doing...that you laid down with her in your arms.
"Don't you ever ask that again you hear me.
>She looked up at you but before she could say anything you cut her off.
"I will always love you, you will always be my little mango no matter what."
>you hear her sniffle in the dark, a little while later you hear she's snoring, and not soon after you follow her.
The end