>Cold moonlight over the red desert 
>Officer Echo lounges in the shade of the wall, absently tapping a fang against her hoof
>It’s a quiet night at the border; no other guardsbat would be patrolling this section till dawn
>Her ears perk up: rustling in some distant shrubs
>Then a shadow, and a shape rising from the brush
>Another bat, gliding toward her
>In the pale moonlight, Echo could make out the approaching mare’s sea green coat and the red glimmer of her eyes
>“Ze mangoes alfrescoes bounce like baloncestos,” the mare said in a sharp whisper
>“The mangoes, uh,” Echo struggled for a moment, “the rain... falls mostly on... dang it, I forgot the password again.”
>The other mare hissed. “Mizz Eggo, please, you muzt try hardair to remember ze procedure...”
>“Yeah yeah, whaddya got for me this time, Seaflower?”
>The smuggler sighed, flipped her mane, and craned her neck to open her saddlebag
>Instantly Echo’s mouth watered as a wave of fruity scent washed over her 
>Her slit pupils dilated when she caught the golden glow of Seaflower’s precious cargo, secreted away in her bag
>“Zis is very pure product, premium product - hey!”
>Before Seaflower could finish speaking, Echo had already snatched one of the illegal fruits
>With a loud juicy snap, she bit into it’s golden flesh
>Her eyes rolled back, her face flushed with warmth, and a tingle ran down her spine as the sweet juice filled her mouth
>“Dear Luna, that’s the stuff!” Echo cried, as she devoured the rest in short order
>“What have I told you about sampling ze product...”
>But before Seaflower could fully admonish her partner in crime, both bat ponies whirled to face the shrubs, their ears pricked high
>Panic filled them as they watched five more shapes dislodge themselves from the underbrush and approach
>Five ragged-looking mares, four of which were wielding guns in their mouths
>The lead mare, the only one with her mouth free, began to speak
>“Amigos... this is cartel territory. Who gave you permission to transport mangos in our turf?”
>Without hesitation, Echo pulled out her sidearm and gripped it in her fangs. “The goddamn 2nd Amendment, motherbucker,” she mumbled 
>The cartel mare’s eyes narrowed. “Mitzy sends her regards.”
>Seaflower’s shrieks were shortly drowned out by the roar of gunfire, and the desert was painted red
>One cartel mare went down, and then another, gurgling in a pool of scarlet
>Echo grunted when she was hit in the shoulder, her uniform probably permanently stained 
>She ducked behind the fallen, soaked body of Seaflower to reload, feverishly pumping her super soaker 
>Fresh torrents of tomato juice splattered against the wall behind her, as the remaining cartel mares laid down heavy fire
>“This is Caballo territory!” their leader shouted, before drawing her own weapon and sending another plume of juice directly into Seaflower’s mane
>“I juzt washed my mane...” the smuggler complained, as she despondently ate one of the mangoes that had fallen from her pack
>“Shh, you’re supposed to be dead!” Echo said, briefly rolling out of cover to place an expert shot right between the eyes of one her distant opponents
>She could hear their leader cursing, then the sound of retreating hooffalls
>After a moment, Echo crept out from behind Seaflower and approached her three fallen opponents
>She found them lying on the ground, abandoned by their comrades, groaning and utterly soaked in tomato juice
>One by one she arrested them, tying them together until the three had been bound and made ready for transport
>“You have the right to remain cute, anything you keekee may be used against you in a court of law...”
>Seaflower coughed. “Can I get up now?”
>“I’ll be confisticating this contraband,” Echo said, shoving the mangoes into her own pack.
>“But... but... ze payment...!”
> “What? I just saved your tail!”
> “You let me die and used my corpse as cover!”
>Echo rolled her eyes. “Fine, fine. Here you go.” To the tomato-soaked mare she tossed the customary bag of bits. “Bring me more of the good stuff, it’s gonna make me a pretty penny back in Hollow Shades. And watch out for this Mitzy, she seems like a tough customer...”
>As Seaflower scuttled back to the shrubbery, Officer Echo gathered her prisoners and set off for the checkpoint, pack bulging, whistling as she went 
>An excellent haul tonight