>Be Anon >Locked in a small metal box on a rickety cart going god knows where. >Oh wait, you know too. Prison. >You were only in this stupid dimension for three days and now you are going to get your asshole widened by horse criminals. >How were you supposed to know the tiny brown pony was sapient. >The cart hits a bump and you wang your head on the top of the steel box, much to the amusement of the people hauling you off to your new life. >A male sounding voice laughs and says something that sounded like it may be rude. >Can't tell, what with the gravel road and general anger towards each of these pastel shitheads. >(At least they taste good.) >While that may be true, it doesn't help the matter very much now does it. >The gravel road smooths out abruptly and the cart comes to a stop. >Before you can make heads or tails of the situation a slat in the box slides open behind you. >You feel a needle pain in your back and you start to struggle. >For reasons you can't quite explain, you had been needlessly docile until this point. >Perhaps it was the weight of what you had done, perhaps it was the nature of this place. >Probably a little bit of both. >Your adrenaline had been at a low for awhile now but all it took for your fight or flight reflex to trigger was a little prick. >You choose flight. >Be Bronze Bastion, captain of the guard of Happy lake supermax. >You just stuck enough sedative into that monkey to kill a dozen ponies. >If it dies you will be reprimanded but you'll keep your job. >It killed, cooked, and ate a filly. If you had your way it would have lost his head. >Three of the four princesses agreed that there is the potential for good in every living thing. >Your thinking is interrupted by the squealing of warping metal. "Swift Scout, go get Blackwing! Unicorns hit him with everything you have!" >Previous attempts to subdue the thing with magic were for the most part, unsuccessful. Won't stop you from trying though. >You prepare for the inevitable combat. >Be Anon. >Be confused. >You just warped what you thought was steel with your bare hands. >'These horses have no idea how to temper steel' you think to yourself. >Of course, you don't either but that's because you're a park ranger. >Or were you suppose. >No time for think. It time for out. >Well said id, it is time for out. >You shift so that your back is against one wall and your feet are against another and PUSH! >More groaning and then success! >You are out of that box as soon as the wall hits the ground and you sprint past various ponies. >Some of them carry clubs, some have glowing facial implants. >Almost all of them are awestruck by your display of force. >You take the opportunity to put as much distance between yourself and that cart as possible. >They try to keep up but their tiny legs are no match for you. >You are so elated to be free from that box that you feel like you are running on air. >Wait, you actually are running on air. >You look up to see a beige sky attached to two large black legs. >Those legs are attached to large talons which are digging into your shoulders. >Be Blackwing. >You are the the coolest damn thing on the planet. >You are also a twenty five foot tall black dragon. >You catch runaways and break up the nastier fights and in return you are given all the gems you could want. >The catch of the day seems to be a monkey of some sort that looks nearly harmless. >You are kinda upset that they interrupted lunch for this. >The creature has the audacity to address you. >"What the fuck sort of bird has scales!" >Urgetodroprises.jpg >You instead bring him back to the group of utterly annoyed ponies of various sorts. >Brass Bastion looks to you with a joyful grin. >"Remind me to buy you one of those crystal kingdom things you like so much." "I'll hold you to that sir." >You say 'sir' with a hint of contempt in your voice. >You don't dislike the pony, you just hate being submissive in any way. >Brass goes on to say "I need you to stay and help us get this thing into solitary." >You give a nod. "Make it fast though, I was sort of in the middle of something" >He responds with a grunt and leads you and the monkey to the solitary wing. >Be Anon. >You are significantly less angry then you were five minutes ago. >After all, you are being carried around by a dragon. >That you called a bird. >You would ask for it's autograph but you are busy being escorted to solitary. >You decide to maintain silence for now and take a look around. >There are three buildings that you can see. The largest is what you assume to be the main cell block. There is a second, smaller building that could hold any manner of interesting things. >The smallest building is the one you are heading towards. >It's two stories tall and about twice as wide. >From what you can see there is only one door being guarded by two unicorns. There is also a squad of pegasi playing cards on the rooftop. >The unicorns horns glow as you approach and the door swings open. >Without being touched. >This place is awful. >The grey small normal horse who appears to be the boss speaks up. >"Welcome to your new home, Ape. Make yourself comfortable." >He laughs as the dragon sticks his giant hand into the dark room with you inside it. >The hand retreats and you are left alone in the room. >The door swings shut and a light comes on from the ceiling. >Be Bronze Bastion. >That monkey was surprisingly quiet after Blackwing picked him up. >Then again, being ponyhandled by a dragon would be enough of a scare to make most ponies pass out. >And solitary makes them crack in just a few hours. >Every living thing needs companions after all. >Be Anon >Be in the nicest damn apartment you have ever seen. >Double bed, bookcase, writing desk, the whole shebang. >You decide to check out the bookshelf. >Most of it seems educational. >(Book are dumb) >Yes but book are better than sit do nothing. >(HHHHRMG) >You thought so. >You spot a book titled 'Happy Lake and the history of Criminal justice' >Happy lake sounds familiar. >That dumb tall white horse mentioned it before you were boxed up and shipped off like some sort of express package. >Be Unity wish >It's a dumb name but it's your name >Be the resident psychologist of Happy Lake super max. >You are watching the bipedal creature explore it's new surroundings. >You set the room up specifically to see how it would react and what activity it would choose first. >You didn't expect it to look happy and go to pick up a book. >You watch it read for about fifteen minutes before entering the room through the secondary door. >It looks surprised by your entrance but not threatened by it. >How fascinating. >You clear your throat and speak. "My name is Unity Wish. I will be acting as your psychologist and therapist until you are dead or cleared to leave." >You offer him a small smile. "Hopefully though, it will be the latter and not the former." >It holds up a finger to you and continues reading. >You sit patiently as it reads a few more pages. >it then folds the corner of the page over, closes the book, and sets it down on the bed next to it. >"I'm Anon, Thanks for treating me like a person and not a monster." >A thank you? It, no, He is more civilized than you initially expected. "Is Anon how you would like to be addressed?" >He gives a nod. >"Mind telling me when lunch is? It's been awhile since I have eaten." >His face scrunches up a bit and you detect a hint of something in his voice. >is that remorse you hear? "I'm afraid lunch ended fifteen minutes ago but I could see about getting you a snack considering you missed it." >The fastest way to a ponies heart is through its stomach, why should he be any different. >He nods and bares his teeth at you. >His sharp, meat tearing teeth. >Fascinating. >You shout towards the sealed metal door. "Hey guards, one of you bring me in a couple muffins." >His eyes perk up a bit at the sound of muffins. >Be Unity again. >You are having a conversation with an alien. >An honest to the goddesses alien. >So far he has told you a decent amount about his world but has avoided telling anything personal. >He has asked a lot about how magic works and how you use it day to day. >He seems like a nice enough person. "So Anon, Mind telling me a bit about what your role was in human society?" >He gives a sigh. >"I was a park ranger, we would teach people about respecting the land and how beautiful it was." >This definitely merits further questions. >A guard pokes his head into the door. >"Unity, it's dinner time" >Impossible >You and the alien had talked for four hours? >Be Grave Mistake. >Your Parents had a sick sense of humor. >Or at least you assume they did. >They got rid of you after giving you that stupid fucking name. >That's all you were to them, a mistake. >You don't let it get you down though. >you made a pretty good living digging holes to put bodies in. >You found this really nice blue flower that grew fast and looked nice so you planted it in the cemetery. >That's how you got arrested for necromancy. >In hindsight it was a pretty funny joke. >Fucking blue plants. >You are being escorted across the yard away from the mess hall. >You get to keep the new guy company for dinner. >Solitary is one thing but eating alone was cruel and unusual punishment. >That's what the guards told you anyhow. >The food must be waiting for you in the cell already because the guards don't have any. >The guard escorting you opens the door and peers his head in. >After a few moments Unity leaves the building. >"Where's his meal?" she asks. >"Right here, and before you say anything orders are orders." >You suddenly have a very bad feeling, though Unity gives him a smirk. >You are pushed into the room and the door locks shut behind you. >Your heart drops into your hooves. >On the other side of the room there is a giant two legged monster. >As soon as it sees you it bares its teeth and advances forward. >You are frozen in terror. >It extends a long, clawed arm towards you. >"Hey, I'm Anon." >It shakes your hoof and you pass out. >Be Anon. >Is that horse dead? >You bring your ear to its chest to get a face full of hoof >It was like getting hit with an empty soda bottle. >But you know he isn't dead. >"Oh Celestia please don't eat me!" >You kinda wish he was now. "I'm not gonna eat yah you green fool. Your kind doesn't taste good anyhow." >It's a lie but a comforting one. >"Y-you're not? Wait, how do you know what we taste like?" "I'm in here for a reason." >You sigh and shake your head when he tears up. >You decide not to press the matter for now. "I was told it's dinner time, did the guard bring any food?" >"I-I think I w-was supposed to be your m-m-meal." >This angers the Anon. >You go to the door and give it a good sharp knock. "Hey, I'm hungry, can you bring me something I can actually eat?" >(Eat the small one) >No I won't be doing that. >"I have orders to not open the door until tomorrow" >Fucking horses. >Roll for intimidation "Hey, go ask one of the caravan horses what happened when you all tried to contain me in a flimsy metal cage." >"I-uh, what?" "I cracked it like an egg." >"Don't be stupid." >Critical failure. >The time for action is now. >You take a step back and attempt to kick down the door. >It doesn't break by any means but the metal dents enough that it can be seen from the other side. >You assume. >"Hey, keep that up and I'll get Blackwing. He hates having meals interrupted and this would be the second time today!" >Before you can respond, the door behind you opens up. >Your favorite pony is here! >With two plates of food! >She says, "Anon, don't antagonize the guard, they still think you are a pony eater remember?" >The green one pipes up. "P-Pony eater?" >She looks at him and gives a sigh before setting two trays of food down on the desk. >Isthatmeat.gif "Is that meat?" >She nods. "Fish is better than nothing." >Without another word you tuck in." >Be Anon >Dinner was pretty good. >Some sort of tuna paste that you spread on a variety of breads. >A griffon delicacy according to Unity. >Graves had some of the paste but mostly just ate the breads. >It took him a bit but he warmed up to you >The three of you are playing marenopoly and you are winning. >Really hard. >You own half the board and you are buying their properties for exorbitant fees. >It keeps them afloat for now. >Not much longer though. >After a particularly unlucky roll, Graves ended up on pony place and you bled him for the rest of his money right there, signaling the end of the game. >They don't even count, your victory is as apparent as their matching tramp stamps. >You know they are called cutie marks now but that's not nearly as funny to you. >After the game is packed up, Unity leaves through where she came. >You and Graves look at the bed in the corner. >He looks to you and says "It seems we are expected to share a bed." "Seems so." >No homo. >You climb into the bed and place a few of the many pillows between you and the other half. >He hops up, circles three times and lays down. >"Night Anon." "Goodnight Graves." >You hear a faint chuckle. >You thought Graves sounds better than Grave Mistake and he agreed so that's what you call him now. >You made some friends and that makes you happy. >Well, happier than you were this this morning. >That's the last thought going through you head when you pass out. >Be Bronze Bastion. >You are doing paperwork. >The warden decided to kill two birds with one stone and feed the monster with a death row inmate. >You have to sign proof of death. >You hope he enjoys his meal. >Killing a pony is one thing but necromancy? >Fucking punk. >THUD. >You peel the stamp off the piece of paper. >Grave mistake is officially deceased. >One less sick fuck in the world. >You stick it into an envelope and send it off to the royal records via express courier. >Those eggheads like to be as accurate as possible and all government facilities are to make that happen to the best of their abilities. >You look out the window and take a moment to enjoy Luna's work. >Damn beautiful. >You give a yawn and head to your bed. >The captain has to always be on site barring extenuating circumstance or vacation. >You need one of those. >You are out before your head hits the pillow. >Be Anon. >You wake up in a massive forest. >Whatthefuck.png >You take a moment to gain your bearings. >It isn't familiar so you must be deeper into the forest than you usually go. >You don't have any camping supplies so it was supposed to be a short trip. >You don't have a headache and you don't feel drunk. >Fucking Tristan. >That damned bastard probably dared you to go out here after a blunt or two. >He was a prick like that. >You look for a path and find none. >Piss. >You look up to the sky but you freeze when you hear a heavy thud and the snapping of branches. >You look towards the noise and see something strange. >Bigfoot? >A twelve foot tall bipedal creature about fifty yards away. >A gust of wind hits your back and the creature sniffs the air. >Time to flee. >You scan the ground and map out a path. >The moon is about half full at the moment so it's a little hard to see. >You break out into a jog. >Fast enough to get away before it locates you but slow enough that you can plan a few steps ahead. >As you are running, you see a black shape in the corner of your eye. >Your foot gets snagged on a root that you are sure wasn't there before and you eat dirt. >Be Anon. >Be face down in the dirt. >Your foot is caught on a root and you can hear the creature sniffing around. >It smells like death. >It smells like an abandoned meatpacking plant after a long sunny day. >You try not to gag. >You aren't sure how good it's hearing is after all. >You slowly get up on your knees and try to see how bad the tangle is. >It's pretty bad. >You somehow managed to get your foot wedge between three roots that are coiled together. >You try to pull them apart to no avail. >From what you can assess, you are downwind from the creature. >It's getting closer though. >You take a moment to calm yourself down and regulate your breathing so that it's more quiet. >You also gently stir up the dirt and rub some into your clothes to mask your scent as much as you can. >Around you are a few rocks and some bushes. >You spot a stick near you and a plan begins to form. >You pick up one of the smaller rocks and whip it as best you can to draw the thing away from you. >You listen as the rock strikes a tree and the creature lumbers away. >You grab the stick and wedge it between your leg and the top root. >Grabbing both ends of the stick, you pull it upwards. >Gently at first but slowly stronger. >You head the creatures footsteps approach. >It is walking in your direction. >Shit shit shit shit shit. >You pull perhaps harder than you should have. >The root gives way just enough for you to pull your foot free. >You grab another rock and toss it a little ways, just to give yourself some breathing room while you escape. >You hear the rock hit a tree but you can't hear the footsteps. >Just sniffing. >You creep away slowly. >Very, very, slowly. >You notice the moon peering through the trees. >You head in that direction, hoping with all your might that there is something there. >Anything. >You hear the foot steps again. >They are approaching very quickly. >You decide that the time for stealth is over and book it towards the clearing. >Be hungry. >Little thing smell good. >You want eat thing. >Good smelling hard to catch. >Very sneaky. >You smart though. >You only fall for rock once. >Smartest hunter. >That why you the biggest. >Eat lots. >Tree no match for you. >Run right past. >Dumb trees. >You see good smell. >It close edge of world. >must catch before escape. >You are scared shitless. >You are also Anon. >Same difference. >Past the trees are a large field. >This is your only hope for survival. >It just is, you know it. >Can't explain better than that. >You break past the trees and the creature swipes at you. >You feel it's claws tear up your back. >Not a whole lot thankfully, but you will need to bandage it as soon as you can. >You run a few hundred yards and look back. >It stopped? >The thing is standing at the edge of the trees. >Just watching. >It looks angry. >It lets out a deafening scream. >You wake up. >You're super sweaty and your back hurts but you are in your bed. >You never though you would be happy to see the inside of a prison cell. >It's a nice cell though. >The clock on your desk says 5:37 >Graves has wrapped himself in all the blankets. >Cute. >In a pet sort of way. >Time to wait for breakfast. >You pick up a daring do book and begin reading. >You are Bronze bastion. >You are in the viewing room of solitary and you are speechless. >Not only is the necromancer not dead. >The monkey is reading to him. >This is bad. >You already pronounced him dead. >If this gets out, you could lose your job. >Lying on a government form is bad. >Lying to the Royal Records is a class D felony. >You wouldn't survive in prison. >It doesn't matter, you won't let it get out. >You head towards the door, but before opening it you check your belly for the knife you keep under your guard uniform. >Your knife is exactly where you always keep it. >Technically you shouldn't have it but safety is key in this place. >You trot through the door and make your presence known. "Well color me surprised. The monkey has a heart after all." >It doesn't seem that impressed with you. >Mister Mistake speaks up. >"Anon isn't as bad as you all seem to think he is." "Evidently." >You look back to the monkey. "The Nurse will be along in a couple hours." >You casually trot around the two, putting Mistake between you and the monkey. >You would rather not do this but sometimes bad things need to be done for the greater good. >You got yourself into this mess after all. >You can do this, you were trained by the royal guard to do this kind of thing if need be. >You unsheathe your four inch knife and slash at Grave's throat. >You are Anon. >This pony just tried to kill Graves. >You managed to throw your hand into the way of the blade but it cut pretty deep. >You wrench the knife out of the Guards grip and stand to your full six foot height. >The thing comes up to the middle of your thigh. >You could easily kill him here but that would look pretty bad. >You stab the knife into the ceiling as hard as you can and it slide in up to the hilt. >Must be plaster, not cement. >You squat down so you can look this pony face to face. "Get out. Now." >You practically growl out the last word and he seems all too happy to oblige. >You watch him leave and as soon as the secondary door closes you sit back down. >Graves looks more pale than usual. >"D-did he just try to k-k-kill me?" >You nod. >He seems upset. >You don't blame him. >You're upset too. "Don't worry, you're safe with me." >He still looks upset. >You pat your lap and he hops up in it with little hesitation. >The time to think is now. >You scratch behind his ears while you think. >You are Nurse Tickled Pink. >You are scheduled to meet Anon this morning. >Unity gave you the rundown of what to expect. >She also told you that what happened with him was a result of multiple days without food and a lack of knowledge of this world. >That means that he's an alien. >You get to inspect an alien. >Activate excitement. >You wonder what he looks like. >You also wonder what his hair smells like. >You are heading over there now so you may get a chance to find out. >'Maybe I could just ask, would that be too forward?' >Nah, no way. >Not forward at all. >You approach the building and head around the back. >A guard gives you a nod and opens the door. >You see Anon. >Myyou'reatallone.jpg >He is scratching at Grave Mistake. >Mistake is covered in blood. >Your nurse instincts kick into overdrive. >You burst through the door, already pulling sterilizing wipes out of your kit. >You wipe the area down and wrap it in gauze in record time. >You then face Anon. "What were you doing to him!" >You give him the best angry nurse look you can muster. >You're Anon. >This pony just wrapped up your friends head and accused you of doing something devious. >Now she's puffing up her cheeks and glaring at you. >That's the cutest thing you have ever seen. >"I said what were you doing to him!" >Right, she asked you a question. "Scratching him behind the ears." >"Then why was he bleeding?" >He was what now? >Fuckity damn. >You were so focused on how to deal with the rogue guard that you forgot that he cut your hand open. >You show her your hand and she gasps. >"Bring that down here!" >You awkwardly bend down and offer her your hand. >She takes a pipette and uses it to suck some of your blood from the wound. "Why are you doing that?" >"Can I smell your hair?" >What the fuck? "Sure I guess." >Not gonna argue with the medical professional. >She slides the pipette into a bottle and puts it into her bag. >She places a hoof on your shoulder and pushes herself up. >At least you don't have a finger in your ass. >You suppose this is better than that. >She takes a deep whiff, then hops down and begins to sterilize and bandage the cut. >"How did you get this anyway?" >"Bastion came in here with a knife." Graves responds in your honor. >She looks at you in disbelief and you offer her a nod. "I caught the blade. It was aimed for Graves here." >She finishes wrapping up the hand and sighs. >"You shouldn't lie to your doctor Anon."