>You feel two hooves press into your back in a quick shove >You barely manage to stop yourself from faceplanting in your (Vegetarian) Shepard's Pie >"Oh, what's wrong, Anon? Not so strong now are you?" >The voice mocking calls you out >With a force of will you beat down the desire to toss the smarmy fuck across the cafeteria >You've been on the Guard's shit list ever since you held up Afternoon Aerobics with your display of dominance last week >The warden believed that you didn't mean it so you only had one pudding cup cut from your weekly diet >You weren't eager to lose the other thirteen >As it was, Sunday evenings were less chocolatey that you could stand >Luckily, one of the guards had taken pity on you and in exchange for an hour of belly rubs a night you got a Cookie's'n'Cream pudding cup every Sunday at Midnight >Funnily enough, that was her name >You turn very slowly towards the culprit of your almost ruined meal >It's none other than Gym Rat >Turns out, you broke his previous record "Oh it's alright, Gym Rat, I know you didn't mean anything by it." >His eye twitches as he struggles to come up with a suitable retort >"Chyeah? See you later, MONKEY BOY!" >ohshitnohedidn't.jpg >Gym Rat and his snickering posse leave you in presumed defeat >A guard catches your eye and nods respectfully in your direction >Fuck yeah, getting brownie points for dealing with it >Seriously, they have a point system >You can cash them in for prizes and shit >Fuck, pie's getting cold >Later in your cell >Cookies and Cream lies snoring peacefully in your lap >You hear Gym Rat approaching, just on time >You asked him during your weekly spa session to meet you at your cell >He appears in the cell door and you motion for him to be quiet as you gently scratch Creamy's ear >"What do you want, Anon?" "Look man, I just wanted to straight up with you. I feel really bad about acting like such a jerk to you last week. It was real mean and I'm super sorry." >Just like you rehearsed >Gym Rat looks a little down >"I'm sorry too, bro. Can we put this behind us, be pals again?" "Yeah, I'd like that." >You hold your hand out for a hoofshake >As you puts his hoof in you hand, you grab it and cover his mouth "We ain't buddies, guy." >Careful not to wake Cookie, you knock Rat out and perform your dastardly deed >Next day >Get called down to the Warden's office >Gym rat is in there, still crying >No words need to be said, for as soon as you walk into the room you can't stop laughing >Rat is shaved buck-naked and in place of his cutie mark are your initials >You didn't even try to hide it >You fucking run this place >Wonder how many belly wubs it'll take for Creamy to sneak you your missing pudding ration >God knows you lost two more from this stunt