"You... Want me to what?"
>Celestia stared down at him from her throne.
>Even kneeling as he was, he was still almost her superior in height.
>"I am assigning you a new mission, as I've said. I want you to go to Ponyville to learn about friendship"
>Anon stared at her incredulously
>He was very near to speaking out of turn, his shock clear on his serious face.
>Celestia was still a mystery to him.
>She sat up straighter, rustling her wings and peering down at him, eyes narrowed
>He clenched his jaw, before getting the ability to respond, his shock pushed down.
"I'm sorry princess but I don't think-"
>Celestia cut him off
>"Anon you are a very dear friend to me, and it would be a shame if you were to lose yourself in your duties. I must insist."
>Anon's jaw clenched tighter
"But... Princess, I don't want a break. I like working for you"
>Celestia sighed
>Anon was an invaluable asset, able to fight off an entire legion on his own merits. 
>He was undefeated in combat, and unknowingly trained under the harsher levels of gravity of his world.
>His race was that of warriors, so very unlike the average- or even above average- pony.
>Even so, Celestia had noticed, the constant vigilance and stress had affected his mind.
>It was becoming a problem, and she had to fix it.
>"I do not like ordering you, Anon, but this time I must. I order you to go to Ponyville, meet my student Twilight Sparkle, and learn everything she has to teach you about the magic of friendship."
>Anon still looked resistant to the idea
>Celestia huffed.
>"And I will ask Twilight to accept you as her personal guard while you are there."
>His face relaxed slightly. Familiar territory for him, Celestia assumed, would help settle his nerves.
>Anon dipped his head down in a bow before rising to his feet.
"As you wish, Princess."
>Celestia beamed at him.
>"Good, I've had the castle's servants pack your things when I sent for you. Leave as soon as you are able. Enjoy your break, Anon!"
>Anon scowled
>"And do try to smile more"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>His arrival was met with little fanfare, and for that he was thankful.
>Celestia knew him better than anyone else, after all.
>Yet it seemed that every which way he looked he was being stared at.
>The ponies shuffling by him spared him a cursory, confused glance
>His stony countenance turned their gaze away as he stalked forward with an almost robotic gait.
>The big blue and purple eyesore, or rather castle, was where he was told to go by the Princess.
>Celestia had already sent forewarning of his arrival to Twilight, she had said.
>Anon shifted his pack, rolling his shoulders and stretching his neck as he strolled through Ponyville
>He stopped, spying a large, painted clay flower pot
>It looked off, like some of the flowers had been replaced by tufts of soft pink.
>His face scrunched up in confusion
>Were they flowers?
>Anon thought it unlikely.
>He strode forward and poked the offending tufts.
>They felt soft to his fingers.
>And did they just giggle?
>Anon jumped as a pony, bright pink with obnoxiously large, curly pink hair, exploded up from the pot
>He reacted without thinking, burying his fist in the pony's face before she had a chance to speak
>Anon watched as her head, which felt far too squishy to be real, followed along with his fist
>Her neck, instead of detaching from her body, started to stretch like taffy 
>Anon started to sweat
>Dear lord, did Celestia send him here as a test?
>To fight this Lovecraftian monster?
>Mumbled words tried to desperately squeak from behind his knuckles.
>Anon pulled back, noting with some confusion that her face was still in the shape of his fist
>She laughed
>Laughed!
>"Hi! I'm Pinkie Pie!"
>Anon shuffled awkwardly
"I'm uh... I'm Anon."
>Pinkie giggled
>"You must be here to see Twilight, she said something about one of Princess Celestia's guards coming to town"
>Anon nodded
"Yeah that's me. How'd you know...?"
>She made a face
>"Easy silly, you've got a grumpy look on your face! All of Princess Celestia's guards have that look"
>He rubbed the back of his head.
>What was there to say?
>None of his training could've prepared him for this.
>Anon straightened.
>He was a royal guard, damn it!
>He wouldn't start breaking code and acting like a fool now.
>Anon spared Pinkie one last nod before continuing his stride to the Princess' castle.
>Straight backed and chest out, he finally relaxed.
>The pink one, he hoped, didn't live here.
>Anon banged three times on the large, golden doors.
>Eyesore indeed.
>He waited at attention.
>Though the wait was short lived as the door was soon enveloped in a soft, blue glow.
>It was wrenched open, exposing what Anon assumed to be Princess Twilight's student.
>Anon tilted his head slightly to meet her eye.
"Royal Guard Anon reporting for duty under Princess Twilight Sparkle."
>Starlight looked up at him, an odd look on her face.
>"The Princess said you would be here on vacation."
>Anon nearly twitched, settling instead for a deepening of his perpetual scowl.
"Yes... I was informed by Princess Celestia that I was also to stand guard for Princess Twilight Sparkle."
>Starlight smiled at him, leaving the door open as she walked further into the halls of the castle.
>Anon accepted the silent invitation, closing the door behind him as he followed her.
>Already the castle made him falter in its overly grand nature.
>High, vaulted ceilings and numerous twists and turns at Starlight's direction lead Anon through a veritable palace.
>Yet, Starlight seemed to know exactly where to go.
>She stopped in front of a grand door, a starburst cutie mark insignia plastered directly on the front.
"This is Twilight's personal study, she's been waiting for you since Princess Celestia sent her that letter."
>Anon nodded.
"Thank you."
>Starlight smiled at him before turning the corner and disappearing from sight.
>Anon knocked on the door.
>He waited for a moment before being given leave to enter.
"Royal Guard Anon reporting for duty, ma'am."
>Twilight looked up in surprise from the book she had her muzzle stuck in.
>Twilight let the book drop to the desk's surface and stood up to lead him out of her study.
>"Hello. Right, the Princess sent you, didn't she?"
>Anon nodded his head.
>"It's good to have you, Anon."
>She trotted a few doors down and flicked her head towards it.
>"Before anything else, this is where you'll be staying."
>Twilight pushed open a door, only a few away from her study, to a modest room.
>A small bed and desk were crammed inside the small room, another doorway lead into what he assumed was a bathroom.
"Thank you, Princess Twilight Sparkle."
>Twilight blushed at her full name, rubbing the back of her neck with a hoof.
"Just Twilight, please. We're supposed to be friends, right?"
>Anon tilted his head in acknowledgement
"If you say we are, Princess Twilight."
>She looked up at his stalwart frame and stony countenance, and decided it was better to leave the matter to rest.
>For now, she amended to herself.
>Anon stepped into the room .
>He dropped his pack on the bed and turned back towards the Princess.
>"Right. Well, I'd assume you'd wanna explore Ponyville for a while?"
"If that is what you instruct, Princess."
>Twilight shuffled awkwardly for a moment.
>"Yeah. Go ahead and have some fun in Ponyville. Come back when you're ready, I guess."
>Anon snapped her a crip salute. He grabbed his bit bag and attached it to his belt
"Yes, ma'am. I'll report back to you at nightfall."
>"...Right."
>Twilight lead the way out of the room, directing the Royal Guard through the labyrinth-like castle.
>They stopped at the large, golden doors.
>Twilight stopped and turned towards him.
>Her face was a mask of seriousness.
"Princess Celestia told me the purpose of this trip."
>Twilight stared up at him, a determined gleam entering her eye.
"If you need someone to talk to, my door is always open. I can introduce you to the others later. Though, you might just run into them."
"Thank you, Princess Twilight."
>Twilight fixed him with an annoyed look before walking back in the castle.
>Anon shut the door behind her.
>He turned back towards Ponyville.
>What to do, what to do.
>Anon stood on the castle's steps just outside the doors, which overlooked the valley Ponyville was nestled into.
>The town was small, tiny even, compared to the metropolis that was Canterlot.
>The tallest building here looked to be a grain mill, a tall spire rising out of the ground and gently turning wind blades standing above the rest of the modest, thatch-roofed homes like a monolithic shrine.
>Anon rested his hands on his hips and took in a deep breath.
>Canterlot bespoke of wealth and opportunity, streets gleamed like freshly polished marble and towers taller than a hundred ponies dominated the sky like stationary zephyrs.
>Ponyville was the opposite. Dull dirt roads lined with knee-high flowers and shouting vendors cobbled the way through the wide thoroughfares.
>Yet, Anon noticed, there was a certain small-town charm to Ponyville that was lost in the refined elegance of Canterlot's citizens.
>Anon started the short trek into town, content with his view of the place.
>Standing around wouldn't help him "relax" as Celestia had commanded.
>The ponies from earlier, and Anon noticed that they were indeed the same ones from earlier, shied away from him.
>His jaw set, brows furrowed, back straight, and chin high left little opportunity for ponies to approach him, he assumed.
>Though they looked friendly enough, despite the stares.
>Anon kept his walk within town limits, and far, far away from the Everfree Forest.
>There was a lingering darkness that shrouded the place, a mist that seemed to leak out of the very trees themselves like crawling, white vines.
>Thick, gnarled trunks of black, lifeless trees sucked in all the light that touched them and seemed to pour out a deep aura.
>Even he, as non-magical as he was, could detect the deeply-rooted and untamed magic in the soil that lingered heavily in the Everfree.
>Anon's walk took him around Ponyville, through each of the streets and even the circumference of the town itself.
>He familiarized himself with everything in the town, for if he was to guard, he would need to know his environment.
>Anon glanced up at the sky.
>An hour or so until dusk.
>He began the journey to his knew quarters.
>His quick retreat back to the castle was stopped by his stomach grumbling at him.
>Anon looked around, before a bakery caught his eye.
>He pushed open the door to the little bakery, a soft chime sounding through the building on his entry.
>The sweet smell of baked goods and flour curled around in his nose, drawing him deeper towards them.
>His rigid stature melted a little, the intoxicating aroma relaxing him.
>"Hello, dear, what can I get you-"
>Anon heard her before he saw her.
>A plump, blue furred mare from behind her counter stopped at the sight of him.
>Tall, taller than even Celestia, wider, more muscular.
>A giant among even the tallest of ponies.
>The mare, who Anon assumed was a baker, stared up at him in shock.
>She shook it off, but her eyes were still wide.
>"What can I get for you?"
>Anon pointed to a chocolate cupcake with blue frosting.
"Two, please."
>The mare nodded, pulling out a pair of them and dropping them into a nondescript pink box.
>Anon reached into his bit pouch, pulling out four in total at her prompting.
>They exchanged the items in their grasp, Anon sparing her a sharp nod.
>"Mrs. Cake have you seen-"
>Anon glanced away from the now named Mrs. Cake, to the pink one he had run into earlier
>Great
>"-Anon! Good to see you again!"
>She giggled at the sight of the stalwart warrior
>Anon inclined his head towards her, a blank expression on his face
>Of all the places to eat, and he had to run into the one that employed Pinkie Pie
"Hello."
>Pinkie Pie hopped around the counter to stand in front of him, her pink eyes looking up at him
>"Mrs. Cake this is Anon! He's a super-duper Canterlot Guard. Nonny, that's Mrs. Cake, the best baker in all of Ponyville!"
>Mrs Cake blushed at the praise, smiling at the warrior in her shop.
>Anon took a step back from the pink pony invading his personal space.
"I must excuse myself. Twilight is expecting me back within the hour."
>Pinkie grinned widely at him.
"'Kay, have fun 'Nonny!"
>Anon twitched at the nickname before beating a hasty retreat out of the store.
>He strode quickly back to the castle, intent on getting away from the annoying pink one.
>The brisk walk back helped to alleviate the worst of his distaste, as did the cupcakes, that seemed to linger around the pink pony.
>Anon pulled the first one free and held it up to his face.
>It was rich and grainy, like dark wood, topped with a baby-blue icing curled gently around the confectionary, sloping up into a mountain-esque shape.
>The first bite was sweeter, the second even more so, with a thick after taste that made it only a little hard to swallow.
>The cupcake wasn't very big, not for him, and it was gone quickly in his hunger.
>It helped a little.
>Twilight's castle was quickly dominating his vision.
>Sky-blue crystal formed the base, curling up like a massive tree, supporting soft purple towers tipped in gold.