>You're Anonymous Endeavour and you're sat in Celestia's office
>It's Friday afternoon. After another hard week of teaching idiots not to repeat the past. 
'Jeez, is this why I wanted to teach?'
>Sipping from a cup of tea with your pinkie finger out, you hear Celestia walk back into the office
>"Anonymous, it's good to see you. I hope you've had a good day."
"Thank you Principal. It's been a good day. Teaching eager students always brightens up my day."
>You lie as Celly sits behind her desk.
>You grin at her like the two-faced basket case you are as she fiddles with a pen.
>"Remember what I once said to you. That this is a good school but has its problems..."
"And I just assumed you meant like failing grades, bullying or drugs. You've got 13 year olds on crack for God's sake..."
>"ONE isolated case, Anon!" She shouts while pointing at you, "but no, it's not exactly what I meant. You've met Sunset, Twilight and rest of the girls, yes?"
"Yes, they're all charming enough. Pinkie still bakes me enough treats to put me into a diabetic coma."
>She chuckles but continues fiddling with the pen.
"Celly? Is there something you want to tell me?"
>"Yes there is but before I tell you, you've got to trust me. What I say will be completely insane but it is the absolute truth."
>For a second, you're unsure. Would Celestia lie to you?
>Well, she has in the past but they were little white lies.
>What the hell? Let's hear her out.
"I trust you. So what is it? Midnight gangbangs in the Art department?"
>"It all began when a young girl just appeared in front of our school the other year..."   290

>Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy...
>You're a man of science and logic but Jesus pissin' blimey...
>The magical pony princess was mad enough but rage-demons...
>Mythical power-hungry sirens...
>Using this apparent "magic" just to win an all-county schools sporting event...
>Magical gems and demons causing havoc at that campsite by the Lake...
>This is some grade-A horseshit.
"I'm sorry, Celestia, but I've never heard such complete codswallop in all my life. This "pony princess" crap was bad enough. I think you've been watching too much kids television..."
>"I knew you wouldn't believe me, Anon, but it is the gospel truth."
>She says with conviction but you're still skeptical.
"So can we meet these magical ponies on top of the fairy gumdrop mountain or do you have actual proof?"
>"Like I said, Sunset Shimmer is from this world."
"I can buy that's she's a reformed bully and somewhat mature for her age.  She's both an unicorn and an angry demon? I'm sorry but I wasn't born yesterday."
>"Quite the pity." Celestia quips, "We could have started making your personality from scratch."
"Who's idea was it to tell me this load of old bollocks? Then we got sirens who wanted to take over the world. You ought to start writing kids' books, you real good at it."
>"You know what? I bet they're still here. Shall I call them in?" Celestia asks
"Go on then. Even if, and that's a big if, it's true, they'd outright deny it."
>"I don't think they will, they know they can trust me."
"I doubt that very much but go on then. Waste your time."
>You conclude as Celestia leaves the office again.
"What utter balls."
>You say to yourself as you start swinging in your chair.

>You know Cinch and she is an insufferable cow but using this "magic" to win?
>Abacus just drugged everyone and the shitstorm that followed was just one massive, collective drug trip...
>And what Celestia described the shenanigans at the campsite. It just sounds like Jonestown in the seventies...
'Goddamn hippies...'
>You stand from your seat as the door opens. Celestia and the seven girls walk in. Even though the room is big enough to hold a nine person conference, you still feel a little claustrophobic.
[Calm down, matey. It's just Celestia going off her rocker]
>The girls all look unsure as Celestia just looks eager, like she's finally won.
"So, girls!"
>You begin as you clasp your hands together
"Celestia tells me the most wonderful story I've ever heard. Apparently, one of you is a magical horse from beyond the stars!"
>You cock your head to a side and grin like a maniac.
>Sunset looks decidedly nervous as you pace in front of them. Twilight looks to her friends and nods to them all.
"Now, I want to understand why Celestia has told me such an amusing tale. Are we all just caned up to our eyes on drugs or something because it's one wild trip including more magical horses..."
>During your rant, you don't notice the girls locking hands.
>"...Sirens and Abacus Cinch being a massive slagbag so tell me this. Is it true? Girls?"
>With their eyes closed, a whirlwind circles the room and they levitate off the floor.
>Slack jawed, you collapse to your knees.
>The magic of Friendship courses arounds the room.
>Their outfits change, their hair glows longer and even cat-ears sprout from their heads
"FUCK ME WITH A PRIZE-WINNING LEEK! I BELIEVE, CELESTIA! I BELIEVE IN OUR NEW GODDESSES!"
>Even Celestia is on her knees, she's probably never witnessed their transformation.
"I SHOULD HAVE NEVER HAVE DOUBTED THE RAW POWER!"

>"I'm sorry, Anonymous, you know too much. The price of knowledge is too high." Goddess Sunset says
>"The debt must be paid." Goddess Twilight declares as their fingers point to your neck.
"NO! NO! WAIT! IT DOESN'T NEED TO END THIS WAY!!! I'LL KEEP YOUR SECRET SAFE !!! ARGH!!!"
>You scream as a magical halo materialises around your neck, like the hangman's noose
>"You will take our secret to your grave." Goddess Rainbow Dash says savagely.
>"Any last words?" Goddess Applejack orders
"I FAKE THE ACCENT, ALRIGHT! I'M NOT EVEN BRITISH! I'M FROM BRIDGEPORT, CONNECTICUT!"
>"Do it." Goddess Twilight shouts.
>You wail as the pain shoots through your neck. With a sickening crack, your head pops off like a champagne cork.
>You're now Celestia and you've witnessed them commit cold-blooded murder. Anonymous Endeavour's lifeless body slumps onto the floor. You're scared. They throw his head to your knees.
"Girls, how could you! He knew nothing and you ... "
>"I'm sorry, Principal, but you condemned him to his fate." Sunset snarls
>"And now, Principal. You must pay!" Twilight demands
>"You violated our trust! You must also pay your debt!" Rarity roars as the same halo appears around your neck.
"NO! WAHHH!"
>Your screams were suddenly silenced.
>The school burned that night. It was beautiful...