
| Giant_Neckbeard #1478535 2 weeks ago |
Op here, part 3 of the Breeder Story. And dear god is it long!
Pastebin is in the 'Source' bar. tags, as always: breeder breeding_is_magic fluffy_alicorns fluffy_pony fluffy_pony_sex fluffy_text x_part_3 |
| Wilhelm_II_Kaiser #1478547 2 weeks ago |
Dun dun dun.
I'm going to end up liking that Alicorn herd guy aren't I? But I want him to suffer... You are going to make him good some how aren't you? |
| sigh #1478578 2 weeks ago |
Neckbeard, how many stories do you plan on writing simultaneously?! I'm counting at least 4 right now. |
| Giant_Neckbeard #1478579 2 weeks ago |
So many errors in this one .....
"Feel the scars where your wings *were pulled off* itch from the sweat and mosquito bites..." Fffffffffffff curse you auto-correct! @ Wilhelm_II_Kaiser: Nope. Pokey is definitely going to be the villain of the story, but he's going to have moment where you can't help but root for him. |
| Giant_Neckbeard #1478592 2 weeks ago |
On_the_Rocks is one chapter away from completion, there's the Neckbeard Guy and the Alcohol Armada, there's this Breeder series and there's also the Farm Series.
There are a couple of other stories in the works, but I'm going to try and avoid any more going out at once until I finish up On_The_Rocks and the Apple_Acres_Fluffy_Story at least. |
| The_Mungoman #1478651 2 weeks ago |
Giant_Neckbeard makes the best walls-of-text.
Am I feeling yet another fluffy seige coming up, Neckbeard? Sure feels like it. |
| Cyrus #1478685 2 weeks ago |
Starting to read the story. I bet there is a lot of hypocrisy is in it. Will comment when done |
| The_Mungoman #1478692 2 weeks ago |
@Cyrus
You just can't stop your bickering, can you? You're turning into some bizarre hugbox-Appleloosa equivalent there, son. |
| Giant_Neckbeard #1478697 2 weeks ago |
No, no 'siege'.
That's the Farm Story's 'hook'. The Breeder will have a different 'hook', that I promise you. |
| Anonymous #1478734 2 weeks ago |
oh wow, he's one of the excessively clingy alicorn foals. |
| PandaSennin #1478745 2 weeks ago |
Cyrus must always complain about something in it story. |
| Cyrus #1478771 2 weeks ago |
First: is Pokes a former winged unicorn, who were separated from mother and now leads the leads the fluffy herd? Writing is somewhat hard to comprehend
This story had much less hypocrisy, but still: cynical one: >kick to the stomach -> lost foals >"ooh, I would lose money, i don't give a shit about foals!" Sounds nice, especially after saying that he loves fluffies (we all it isn't true, don't we?) in the previous part Otherwise, if it isn't the same person, it should be explicitly noted before the paragraph, not slightly mentioned far in the text |
| PandaSennin #1478786 2 weeks ago |
^ Nitpicks as usual. |
| Cyrus #1478791 2 weeks ago |
^ I'm asking for explanation: who is the person checking on shed 2? |
| Wilhelm_II_Kaiser #1478794 2 weeks ago |
Cyrus.
It could be worse. Atleast it's not murder for fun. And Neckbeard. WHY DO YOU PEOPLE KEEP MAKING ME LIKE THE EVIL PEOPLE? |
| PandaSennin #1478801 2 weeks ago |
^ I think it's still the main character. That's how I read it. |
| Danuis #1478820 2 weeks ago |
And now we know Cyrus can't read.
NO SHIT IT'S THE SAME PERSON. Goit. |
| Giant_Neckbeard #1478825 2 weeks ago |
Yes, the two hirelings aren't present during the week, only the Breeder.
And Cyrus, please, a bit of common sense. At no point in the story does the Breeder go that he 'loves' the Foals. Like most people, I've written him as having a soft spot for the helpless and the cute. At the same point, he's running a business, and while the loss of Foals would be regrettable in and of itself, the loss of several hundred dollars of Foals due to the Mares fighting each other could mean he can't pay his staff or buy food and pay the power bills for the Fluffy Alicorns. |
| Cyrus #1478830 2 weeks ago |
@PandaSennin
@Danuis Story 1 >Be a Registered Fluffy Breeder. Cost quite a bit to get set up, but as ‘home business’ goes, it’s quite the money-maker. >Ordered high-quality gene-stock from the labs that churned out the little fuzz-buckets, got yourself some primo stock. >Alicorns Story 3 >but you had to take a week off as ‘sick leave’ the last time the Mares were ‘unable’ to care for their Foals, which really pissed your boss off It couldn't be the same character if he pissed his boss |
| Cyrus #1478837 2 weeks ago |
@Giant_Neckbeard
Sounds like a damage control on your part, but I'll accept your explanation about foals What about the guy in shed 2? |
| PandaSennin #1478846 2 weeks ago |
^ It's still the same character dude. |
| Cyrus #1478852 2 weeks ago |
^ HOW? The boss is the owner of this business; the guy in shed 2 pissed off his boss while working therem how can they be the same person?
Unless it's a writing mishap, if Neckbeard would just admit it |
| PandaSennin #1478867 2 weeks ago |
^ I believe that the main character has/had a job besides the Alicorn reeding business and THAT boss got pissed at him. That seem to be the logical answer. |
| Cyrus #1478877 2 weeks ago |
^ Logical, but doesn't seem to be the case here:
"They can survive after the first week without their mothers, so long as the food is in a liquid or semi-liquid form, but you had to take a week off as ‘sick leave’ the last time the Mares were ‘unable’ to care for their Foals, which really pissed your boss off, to care for that batch of Foals until they were old enough to be taught to feed from the automated dispenser on their own." |
| PandaSennin #1478889 2 weeks ago |
^ It' still main character as far as I know. Then again, I'm not like you Cyrus so I will probably miss some things. |
| Cyrus #1478890 2 weeks ago |
Going to sleep now, will read answer in the morning |
| PandaSennin #1478893 2 weeks ago |
^Oki Doki Loki. |
| Cyrus #1478896 2 weeks ago |
@1478889
OK. The way I see it: worker had to take a "sick leave" and it pissed off the boss (business owner) because he had to take care of foals himself |
| PandaSennin #1478907 2 weeks ago |
^ Nope. |
| Cyrus #1478931 2 weeks ago |
^ Why? |
| PandaSennin #1478941 2 weeks ago |
^ Because it's the same dude. I don't know how you think it's a different character but you seem to be the only one. |
| Cyrus #1478949 2 weeks ago |
^ Now you're just trolling :> |
| Cyrus #1478956 2 weeks ago |
Either way, unless Neckbeard comments (thoughtfully) on the matter, there is no sense in arguing |
| PandaSennin #1478963 2 weeks ago |
^ Not really dude. |
| Giant_Neckbeard #1480003 1 week ago |
You've never had a home business on the side while working in a dead end job? When I was younger and doing shit jobs, worked at the checkout for 4 days a week (any more hours and I would have been 'full time', and the boss didn't want that, as he would have had to pay me more, give me sick-leave and holidays. Cocksucker.) and spent the other three mowing lawns to try and get some money put aside for my own house.
Basically, Breeder Guy works 5 days a week in a computer store/section of a mall, and loathes every second of it. It's enough money to put food on the table and pay the bills, but not a hell of a lot else. The other 2 days a week he works at his home, selling Fluffy Alicorn Foals. Gives him spending money and a chance to actually earn some decent money. |
| Cyrus #1480440 1 week ago |
^ And you conveniently didn't mention this before... |
| Anonymous #1480663 1 week ago |
Hey just a suggestion, if your going to have a fluffy siege, make sure your human character shoots the smarty friend in head, cut the head off of the snake. |
| PhilSrobeighn #1480731 1 week ago |
Fluffies performing fluffy abortions
What next? |
| Anonymous #1482699 1 week ago |
OH CRAP. Pokey is one of those alicorn foals the Breeder sold that went to a family he did NOT do a sufficient background check on! This could be bad..... |
| Anonymous #1482821 1 week ago |
@Cyrus
I don't find it's really worth him mentioning. He writes great text wall stories but the less that bogs down the main story the better. |