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| Saint_Braeburn #1449865 1 month ago |
FROM Cracked.com
Johnny Turbo Brings You the TurboGrafx-16 
The Comic's Intended Message: Buy Turbo Duo, the first CD-game system ever! Its Accidental Message: If you don't acknowledge that the Turbo Duo is the first CD-game system ever, a fat man in galoshes will cripple you! Also, fuck Sega! In 1992, Turbo Technologies, Incorporated released the Turbo Duo, which was the successor of the TurboGrafx-16. To promote the new system and compete with Sega CD, TTI invented corporate spokes hero Johnny Turbo and plugged his adventures in gaming magazines. 
Meet Jonathan Brandstetter, real-life TTI programmer and Johnny Turbo's alter ego. His hobbies include looking like your uncle and constantly pointing out that SEGA- er, FEKA CD is grossly inferior to Turbo Duo. When Jonathan catches wind that FEKA salesmen are slandering Turbo Duo in front of impressionable consumers... 
... he leaps into action as Johnny Turbo, who then assaults the FEKA agents unprovoked. 
Imagine you're a bystander here. You're just trying to buy a SEGA CD, but suddenly a coked-up sanitation worker waving a gun starts screaming about Sherlock Holmes and pummeling the salesman. At this moment, are you thinking about A) the Turbo Duo; or B) the sudden warmth in your Hanes? After defeating FEKA, Johnny Turbo invades his roommate's dreams to subliminally hawk the Turbo Duo game, Lords of Thunder. Unfortunately for his roomie, Johnny's sales pitch is akin to being double-teamed by the ghosts of Syd Barrett and Captain Lou Albano. 
When Johnny tells his roomie about a secret code to access Bomberman, well, the reader has front row seats to the birth of a neutron star. 
At the end of the day, Johnny Turbo failed to boost the Turbo Duo's sales, and the system went under in 1995. The moral of the story? Death threats and acid flashbacks are no way to sell kids video games. |
| DaisyHead #1449871 1 month ago |
this seems like something linkara would critique. |
| NightJack #1449879 1 month ago |
@DaisyHead: He has. |
| DaisyHead #1449902 1 month ago |
ah |
| Anonymous #1449959 1 month ago |
Johnny Tubbo!
(Oblig.) |
| Xuncu #1450202 1 month ago |
http://sardoose.rustedlogic.net/reviews/jturbo/index.htm
Here, all the 'comics' (read; ads disguised as comics) in all their mind-fucking glory, including a blatant over the top slandering of Sega, homosexual |
| Anonymous #1450872 1 month ago |
Ya know, when I saw the thumbnail, the picture looked like they were trying to combine something of Phil and Kaja Foglio's comics. |