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Comments
| Ginger_Fig #1444650 1 month ago |
Ummm...okay. Is anything going to happen?
It doesn't have to be abuse, gore or sorrow...just something. Anything... |
| Colon_Tenderiser #1444652 1 month ago |
Kudos for not acknowledging abuse, but it was still sort of meh. |
| Ferrotter #1444687 1 month ago |
It's not so much a story as some fraction of 1000 words, telling a hazy picture. Still, it's a nice picture. |
| lordanubis #1444688 1 month ago |
Kinda cute. A welcome change from the simplistic, fragmented narration that usually comes with a fluffy POV story. |
| Tabula_Rojo #1444708 1 month ago |
yeah bro I appreciate seeing some love... but this story kind of has no conflict... |
| Anonymous #1444719 1 month ago |
I found the prose interesting regardless |
| Anonymous #1444725 1 month ago |
To elaborate, the way this fluffy sees the world, everything is mythic and magical and beyond its comprehension. I really like that. |
| sigh #1444744 1 month ago |
Interesting and elaborate choice of words, I wish there was more of this (though maybe not in fluffy stories. |
| Anonymous #1444762 1 month ago |
I liked it. It's a good interpretation of a fluffy's rose-tinted point of view. |
| fluff474 #1444832 1 month ago |
I sort of agree with GF, in that several lines make it seem like something big is happening other than what does. First the part about squeezing the block sounds like something unusual is compelling the pony, even if it's only teething. Then the rumbling ground and booming sound sounds like a storm or demolition crew. Humans don't make ground rumblings and booming sounds, they say words; how would being a pony change that? The "but" before the legs buckling makes it sound like it's going to ruin the happy reunion with Daddy rather than just delay it, so you pay extra attention to what comes next, only to be confused as the pony "rocks back and forth" (isn't it splayed out, so its legs are in the way?) "until it's on its side" (why would it randomly roll from his stomach to his side instead of getting back upright?). "When you open your eyes the light seems dimmer" makes it sound like the fall hurt it badly or knocked it unconscious. I could go on.
I don't consider myself sophisticated enough to appreciate elegant literary prose, though. |
| Anonymous #1445262 1 month ago |
Good and short, liked it |
| FeralSocks018 #1445484 1 month ago |
Cute and short, but lacking real substance. It would be great to see a longer story with a conflict while maintaining the basic style of writing. 6/10. |
| doomboy536 #1445505 1 month ago |
Dawwwww. Fucking awesome. MOAR |
| Anonymous #1445689 1 month ago |
Bawwwww. Fucking shitty. No more |
| PhilSrobeighn #1445936 1 month ago |
I like Ferrotter's analysis.
Needs moar substance. |
| The_Mungoman #1446358 1 month ago |
Cute and well written, but the story lacks punch.
Maybe a little slapstick, conflict, a twist of some sort. |
| Anonymous #1447002 1 month ago |
shitty story, bro
-9001/10 |