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Comments
| Giant_Neckbeard #1409389 2 months ago |
Hnnnngh, my Heart ....
*thud* |
| Anonymous #1409456 2 months ago |
Inb4 Abusefags condone this |
| Anonymous #1409551 2 months ago |
Nah, if the fluffy dam won't take care of it's runt even if you ask it to, just staple it to her belly, positioned just so it can get at the milk. That oughta be an educational fucking experience on the merits of following orders. |
| Penis_Wiggle #1409606 2 months ago |
Is it even possible to take care of a runt? Won't it die even if you put it on the most advanced life support system ever or is Bruno using his nigger magic to keep it alive? |
| Saint_Braeburn #1409616 2 months ago |
@Penis
I don't see why it wouldn't be. As Wikipedia says In a group of animals (usually a litter of animals born in multiple births), a runt is a member which is smaller or weaker than the others.[1] Due to its small size, a runt in a litter faces obvious disadvantages, including difficulties with competing with its siblings for survival and possible rejection from its mother. Also in a domestic dog litter, most puppies would have to make room for the runt to get milk from the mother. Therefore, in the wild, a runt is less likely to survive infancy. Less likely to survive =/= inevitable death Or are Fluffy Pony runts different? |
| Penis_Wiggle #1409648 2 months ago |
I was just under the impression that their immune systems wouldn't allow them to live and the fact that MrFluffyVegas wrote it. He just seems like another one of those authors that make it to where you don't need to read his stories to know that,"Oh he wrote this. Don't worry folks no fluffy ponies dead here." |
| MrFluffyVegas #1409662 2 months ago |
^What can I say? I'm a big softie. |
| Saint_Braeburn #1409692 2 months ago |
^
Personally, I though this was a great story. I hope you continue. |
| Anonymous #1409793 2 months ago |
NAME IT BRUNO! |
| deathproofpony #1410253 2 months ago |
Wrex needs an ass whooping. |
| Anonymous #1410415 2 months ago |
...it needs to be named Grunt. |
| Anonymous #1413433 1 month ago |
MrFluffyVegas, because of how differently you portray Wrex in comparison to other fluffy pony stories I wasn't sure what to think of your writing at first. However after reading more of what you've uploaded here I am overall impressed with what you've accomplished. Still not sure how I feel about some of the decisions you've made pertaining to how you write characters but again overall I think your writing is consistently high-quality.
One of the things I think you do well is making these stories feel like they're taking place in a larger world. You do a good job hinting at other events that have happened outside of the context of the story. The most frequent instance of this is likely the comments about Bruno's excursions but I feel like one of the most effective has been the implications about events in Wrex's past in this chapter. Likewise via that same scene I daresay that Wrex seems to have more of a personality, though I'm not sure that's warranted due to how differently you write the character. If you are interested in critique one thing you should watch out for is over-explaining. You do a good job adding more details to your stories but sometimes its better to leave details out. A couple of instances that stand out in this chapter: first explaining how Wrex uses a controller isn't really necessary to the story at large. This one isn't particularly bad but now that you've given some description of it's more likely to break immersion in the story as people try to figure out how hooves would actually work on an X-box controller. Meanwhile if you just glossed over it as fantastical it's something readers could just accept as part of the setting. If you want another example this issue is especially prevalent in science fiction writing. People will accept technology working as magic when it's unexplained simply by conception but the more you stop the story to describe it the more people will find implausible. A more important instance in this story is the "you have the feeling he's been though this before" line. You actually id a great job with the implications of Wrex's past in the lines beforehand but that loses some of it's impact when you spell it out for the reader, e.g. it's more effective for maintaining a reader's suspense to have them wonder "Is X character a murderer?" than outright saying "X character sure is a murderer, by golly." In any case again overall I am impressed with your body of work, and looking forward to seeing more of it. Thanks for sharing your writing here, and good luck with everything! |