Ponibooru

Tag History

(edit info)

Prev | Index | Next

Giant_Neckbeard #1402257 2 months ago

Op here, the Feral Herds are starting to get closer, both to the Apple Acres farm, and each other. A combination of a harsh season, a lack of food, huge numbers of Fluffy Ponies, and now a rapidly expanding maze between them and their beloved 'Apple Haven'? The Farmer is also going to have to make some hard decisions as the story progresses, and Rocket is aiming to make a big push, either to escape, or some other form of revenge. As always, Tags: Apple_Acres_Fluffy_Story fluffies_abusing_fluffies fluffy_pony fluffy_pony_abuse fluffy_text foals gore it_begins mares stallions

Giant_Neckbeard #1402341 2 months ago

Edit: And x_part_8 Nnnnnnnnnnnnnnngh typos will be the death of me yet. A Maze might stop a few of the smaller Herds, but what about when you have Hundreds of Fluffies milling around, desperate to get in? Several of the fence posts are supposedly rotten or otherwise brittle. The dirt on the side closest to the forest might be harder than God, but the side closer to the road, where the sprinklers keep the soil wet and relatively loose, and unforunately near the Fluffy Shelters .... Scientists in search of all important data, damn the cost. And one Farmer, without a rifle and only a very silent crossbow and a Nerf-Gun. How will this end, I wonder >_> Get out your tissues, the next one is gonna be sad!

Anonymous #1402369 2 months ago

IT BEGINS

Anonymous #1402491 2 months ago

This is going to end in a sea of Fluffy Ponies beating each other to death, isn't it? Good god man, you make an Abuse Story that actually uses Abuse for the actual story, rather than the story being a pitiful mechanic for pointless abuse. also, MOAR ON THE ROCKS NOW PLZ PLZ PLZ. Want to know what No-Name's new 'Herd Name' will be. I'm voting for 'Bare-Neck' or 'Swift-Eye'. Also, thousands of Flffys? They're going to strip the land bare, aren't they?

Giant_Neckbeard #1402538 2 months ago

While there will certainly be a large amount of Fluffy on Fluffy violence, it's going to be incidental to the story for the most part. If it is described graphically, it will be because it is meant to be a section designed purely to pull the viewer's eyes to something going on in the story. I have concepts for brawling seas of fluffies, and that's intended for the Grimdark_Fluffies/On_The_Rocks series, where the nightmare of a Fluffy Riot has the potential to not just be a tragedy for the Fluffies, but to have a far broader and more devastating effect on the surrounding environment.

Anonymous #1402743 2 months ago

Thanks for continuing your writing Giant_Neckbeard! It's always good to see something new from you. It seems like you're heading towards a climax with a couple of your stories, I hope you'll continue writing afterwards. It would be neat if these stories went on or if you started new stories in the same setting/canon. Critique if you want it: I'm not sure how intelligent fluffy ponies are supposed to be in this story. Sometimes they seem to have similar intelligence to other stories, and other times the Farmer will talk to them in series of complex sentences with multiple subjects and predicates and they all apparently understand? Not to mention the opening wherein they even have "legends" which implies not only a greater level of intelligence but also a significant both intra- and inter- herd social structure. Speaking of that opening it seems very overwritten and I believe I have an inkling why, so if you don't mind me asking: What other stories like Watership Down are you getting your inspiration from? It seems like especially in the opening here you're trying to capture the kind of emotional impact that stories like Watership Down in particular have with their animal mythos. That is to say, these animals have their own mythology, legends and understanding of the world from an animal perspective. That works well for those stories because they are anthropomorphizing animals to a very human-like extent. The problem here is it doesn't mesh with what you've already established about fluffies - being genetic experiments means they have not existed for a long time, we're never given and hints of a greater fluffy society at large until now, and it's very hard to understand exactly how human-like you intend these fluffies to be. Now then something you do well is fluffies interacting with each other. I like how you write their dialog for the most part, although again it's hard to pinpoint how intelligent you intend them to be. One of your strong points is definitely how visual your descriptions are of their communications - the way you describe them jumping up and down, puffing out cheeks, etc. That level of detail is surprising to see consistently in writing on the Internet and I really hope you keep it up because I think it's one of the most impressive parts of your writing. A part that's not so impressive is how you handle some of your antagonists. I mentioned this before but this chapter has a good example where mishandling this hurts the story. By calling out a nameless character to blame for trampling Grape's foal and moreover having her act as a further antagonist here you really take away from the original tragedy in this story. It's good that you don't shy away from bad things happening in your stories but not all bad things can be blamed on someone. Likewise it's not good to have just certain characters be bad characters and repeatedly use them to create conflict for the story. It creates a more intriguing storyline when things like dissension and negative events aren't all piled on one character. Unless of course you're writing propaganda. One last thing I noticed rereading this chapter again: some of the best parts of your stories are showing the disconnection between the fluffies and humans perspective of events. Here the scenes both early on in the story with the towel and later in the conversation with Soot about the fight are handled well. I hope we get to see more scenes like these from you in the future. Thanks again for sharing your work. Good luck with everything!

Anonymous #1402752 2 months ago

Smothered by fluffies. Now that's the way to go.

Bronyboy #1402793 2 months ago

If he wants the herd to survive, he has to prepare them to fight. A lesson I feel he won't learn until after the battle. Even if they don't use weapons, they'll need to know proper tactics to outflank the enemy. Keep earth fluffies on the wall while the unicorns blast from the back row and the pegasi push from the side. Foals, pregnant mares, and old fluffies stay safe in the shelter. He'll need every able-bodied pony to work the defense field. That may even mean making peace with Rocket. Also, taking bets for the death pool. I've got 20 internets on Soot. I don't wanna see him die but it will probably happen.

Anonymous #1402875 2 months ago

Just curious here, are the Big Hollow and Apple Haven related? Also, awesome story.

Giant_Neckbeard #1402917 2 months ago

Big Hollow was a Cave that the original Feral Herd, led by Rocket, 'lived' in. Apple Haven is the Farm that the Farmer has bought, and is now sharing with the Herd. The Fluffy Ponies have dwelled within the region for some time, Farmer just never noticed due to his job protecting a Politician consuming all his time, and a general lack of interest until now. Effectively, with each generation, the original Herd fragmented, Fluffies fighting or getting lost or splitting up, but every Smarty Friend told the story of a place where sweet fruit waited for them, where the grass was thick, delicious and green, and foals could play in safety. Much like most oral histories, it grew and grew into something close to a religion, and now that the seasons have turned against the Fluffies, with a lack of rain, tighter fences around the crops and a corresponding lack of fresh growth to eat, the Smarty Friends have all simultaneously decided to seek out this 'Promised Land', this 'Apple Haven', as a last ditch chance to save their Herds.

lordanubis #1403107 2 months ago

>Tidal wave of fluffy hugs. Oh God that sounds so adorable. This is an awesome chapter, Neckbeard.

Anonymous #1403138 2 months ago

I'm sure there's going to be a lot of fluffy deaths but I hope a few of each herd make it in to a combined group.

balom #1403311 2 months ago

As these Fluffies have been feral for a pretty good period of time and taking in account their rate of breeding and death, as well as the propensity of smarty friends to breed with many mares, it's possible that they have evolved to be smarter and more mentally flexible. The dumb ponies would die fast while the intelligent ones get to breed more. In a way the canon of fluffy pony drowns at the beginning of the fluffy meme might represent the early variant of fluffy that is still under the influence of a botched genetic engineering. These later fluffy ponies that have survived in the wild have more refined mental capabilities.

Anonymous #1404106 2 months ago

fluffies are generally thought to have some cat in them. I think it would explain the arrogance of smarty friends, but also it might explain the gift giving since cats are known to bring "gifts" of dead prey to their owners. how is the orange pegasus' herd so large yet all mother and father and brother and sister to each other, and did that have anything to do with why they were willing to send the foals in? But actually if they're worried about future generations why would they risk this generation of foals?

Anonymous #1404520 2 months ago

Fluffy foals nuzzled and sleeping on the backs of fluffies? HNNNGGHH!

Anonymous #1404824 2 months ago

I think there's some sort of mysticism going on that farmer's little plot of land than any of us realize. I wouldn't be surprised if the farmland turned out to be some sort ancient burial ground, or place of worship, or SOMETHING along those lines. The reason the mystical energies have been overlooked and unnoticed for so long is because there has never been anything with the genetic and/or neural make up to be effected by it. Everything except fluffy ponies for some reason....... @Anon 1404106: Thus my mysticism theory. SOMETHING having to do with that plot of land is SOOOOOOO compelling to feral fluffies that is causes even THEIR limited self-preservation instincts to go out the window.

Anonymous #1404960 2 months ago

^^^^^ @Great_Neckbeard, this is exactly why the intro seems very overwritten. Unless you are actually planning on doing something like that, but that would come so far out of left field you're not even in the stadium.

Giant_Neckbeard #1405455 2 months ago

@ Anon #4106, the 'Nail' Herd lost a great number of their members to a Bear, the 'Big Scary Brown Munsta' from Part 7, killed most of Nail's Herd, leaving only his immediate family. Being the offspring of a Smarty Friend, they are naturally more intelligent, and also held a higher rank, so were more likely to be at the back of the group when the Herd was exploring the cave. Effectively all the lower-ranked Fluffies got slaughtered, and left nothing but the 'Family' behind. I should have mentioned with the First Chapter, these Fluffies are a lot more Cannon than the Owner_is_destined_to_suffer stories, with the Mares having 6-8 teats, Fluffies only having a week to two week pregnancy (Why Azure had a longer pregnancy will be discussed later) and the Fluffy 'Child Hood' only taking 3-4 weeks. In regards to the foals, pure desperation. Nail's Herd was waiting for the 'Hooman-Munsta' to go away, but the Farmer was still playing in the field. They got so hungry they just charged in, they couldn't take the 'tummeh owies' anymore. And given that Fluffies will do anything for their friends ..... Mares complained about being hungry, their Foals tried to be Nice Fluffies and get their Mummas some grass. Also, the first chapter derped. It was supposed to start off with 'Three decades into the future'. Kah-Derp on my part.

Anonymous #1405843 2 months ago

>domesticated fluffies tries to protect farmer's land and the rest of their herd from invaders who want to kill them all and eat all their food >scumbag luvfag yells at them and makes them take care of unwanted feral foals Scumbag luvfag is such a scumbag.

Giant_Neckbeard #1406506 2 months ago

In the Farmer's defence, he's only had knowledge of the Fluffy Ponies for about two weeks now. The Fluffy Pony species, however, has existed for close to three decades, in this story, but given his former position, it is unlikely he would have had any meaningful contact or knowledge of the critters. That's part of why he was so horrified. He thought they were just being cruel. The Fluffies thought they had to protect the 'Hoomin's Gwasses' for the other Fluffies, or he would get mad and drive them away. Next part will deal with the Fluffies coming to grips with their new Herd-Mates, and the beginning of the arrival of the Feral Fluffy Herds. The Fluffies will see the trees, they can see the Grass from that end of the Farm, but when they try to get to the fence closest to the Grass ... they encounter the Maze. And how the various Smarty Friends deal with that, and each other, is something that will occupy a great deal of the next part.

Anonymous #1406883 2 months ago

thanks for the response about Nail's herd and how it was only made up of brothers and sisters, but I was actually wondering how it was a LARGE herd of only close blood relatives. Seems like it would have had to have been huge before. but two things about Nail's heard have just occured to me. One, that researcher is about to try to integrate a stranger into a herd that's all blood relatives. THey'd probably want to take the stranger, but will the researcher be shocked to know they can tell and keep track of that. Also the area is about to be full of reduced herds that might be pissed their smarty friends led them to food they couldn't reach so the blood relative thing might not be a problem soon. Also, is there any decent grass or anything near but outside the fence? I figure water sprays and seeds carry. It's hard to get things in nature to line up perfectly straight.

Giant_Neckbeard #1406925 2 months ago

There is indeed a lot of places in the forest where there's natural water supplies, and thus food for the Fluffies, and the grass around the farm gets some water, naturally. But because it never gets the volume or exposure of the water, the 'Outside' Grass is not nearly as healthy as the 'Inside' Grass. Yet it's still better than what remains in the forest. The problem lies in that the region is currently experiencing a drought, and those little streams and ponds are currently being monopolized by Fluffies, wild dogs and cats, foxes and whatever other native animals remain. It's not a question of 'If', but 'When' the Fluffies start to run out of food before the Winter hits, and few of them, if any, will have built up enough fat to survive the lean winter. On the plus side, the lack of rain also means that the snow-fall will be relatively light, hopefully.