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Comments
| Anonymous #1343104 2 months ago |
oh lord it's a fluffy romance novel |
| Giant_Neckbeard #1343123 2 months ago |
Op here, tags as always
curse_these_ponies_they_drive_me_to_drink fluffy_pony fluffy_text Owner_is_destined_to_suffer Hitting a bit of a Writer's Block, so it might be a week or so until I update either the Fluffy Armada or the On the Rocks story. |
| lordanubis #1343130 2 months ago |
Rum's a goddamn rapist. |
| Anonymous #1343268 2 months ago |
And that's why I don't the On the Rocks series nor this one.
Bipolarity is a serious disorder that clearly affects your writing abilities. |
| Anonymous #1343270 2 months ago |
don't read* |
| Anonymous #1343676 2 months ago |
68: What?
Neckbeard: ...It's cute SEE I CAN LIKE THIS AND THE ABUSE. |
| Anonymous #1343805 2 months ago |
You CAN like both, I dare you write a good story having that mental disorder.
Bipolar people are handicapped when it comes to that. |
| Bronyboy #1343877 2 months ago |
Daw. Cute chapter. I look forward to the next. |
| The_Mungoman #1344284 2 months ago |
Rum seems... scarily desperate. |
| Anonymous #1344459 2 months ago |
Jannie's such a bitch. There are just some things you don't do, like kicking guys in the nuts. What this country needs is a National Cuntpunting Day as reparations for harm done to men all over the world. But seriously, Janice spoils her fluffy too much and there's no apparent explanation for why her fluffy is well behaved. Positive reinforcement wouldn't have worked. And there are no signs of abuse. This makes no sense.
As for the fluffy, she needed to get the sorry stick for biting a person. That George didn't curbstomp the bitch right then and there greatly disappointed me. SHE RACK DISHIPWIN! And should've been taught a lesson, in the name of the almighty Kenshiwo. Otherwise she'll continue being a spoiled bitch. AND THAT'S TERRIBLE, no matter what feminist propaganda says. Rum raping Gin and Vodka and trying to fuck away the gay was a plus though, even if it causes me great rage to see gay guys get the babe. But Whiskey and Bourbon being cockblockers just ruined the moment for me. Suffice it to say, I like the "On the Rocks" series better. |
| The_Mungoman #1344549 2 months ago |
^Hey, look everyone, it's Drastic-Measures-Anon!
You know what they say: "If it doesn't have rocket launchers, it is not worth experiencing." |
| Anonymous #1347533 2 months ago |
Really good story, Neckbeard. I love it! The part from Esmeralda's perspective especially. |
| Giant_Neckbeard #1347611 2 months ago |
The thing with Rum, is that she's in Heat right now. Fluffy Hormones are rampaging through her, and it's her first 'Heat', so she has no idea what's going on, except Special Hugs with Boys feels very good, and she wants more of them.
I intend to play up Fluffy Guy's ignorance of her over-9000 sex-drive in the next story for laughs. And no, I haven't forgotten the On the Rocks story, just trying to organise how the various players and factions in the story are going to interact. |
| Anonymous #1351280 2 months ago |
By the way, according to Strunk and White, even if a quoted bit of dialog would normally end with a period, you need to end it with a comma and continue the sentence instead of putting a capital on a sentence fragment that follows.
e.g. >"Gin wuv Vodka too." He says, giving you a big hug. The part after the second quote mark is a sentence fragment: >He says, giving you a big hug. When correctly written, it should look like this. >"Gin wuv Vodka too," he says, giving you a big hug. |
| Anonymous #1351395 2 months ago |
Dialog that doesn't end in a period can be left alone, but you do not capitalize what follows unless you are starting a new sentence.
This is one complete sentence. Don't capitalize "you" >"Bourbon have scawy dweam?" you hear a voice ask. This is two sentences. Capitalize "the". >"Wah! Dark! Where Friends go?" The others have apparently forgotten the Wooden Spoon is your Sorry Stick. |
| Anonymous #1351408 2 months ago |
I am of course nitpicking because you look like you're in full tryhard mode.
For authentic greentext, don't proofread at all, and for god's sakes don't touch the shift key. |