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Comments
| Giant_Neckbeard #1302733 2 months ago |
Op here. Was the twist at the end amusing? Also I know this seems a little soft, but it's also setting the stage for the Zodd Army and Blue-Horn's final acts of treachery.
Also Tags. fluffies_abusing_fluffies fluffy_pony fluffy_text grimdark_fluffies |
| Saint_Braeburn #1302759 2 months ago |
It's like if Lemony Snicket started writing Fluffy Pony stores. |
| Giant_Neckbeard #1302789 2 months ago |
Is that good or bad? |
| andrewmyles #1303416 2 months ago |
There are two mistakes: once Fluffy Mummas are called FLuffy Munstas, and on their way to the haven No-Name is (i think) called No-Lips.
It's a good chapter. I was waiting to see how the mares got divided among the stallions. |
| Anonymous #1303482 2 months ago |
This part is weak and not as entertaining as the prior ones. Also, you shouldn't really tone it down to make it questionable-level. If people want to read them, all they have to do in that case is to allow explicit content. |
| lordanubis #1304136 2 months ago |
No-name gets all the bitches. |
| FeralSocks018 #1304712 2 months ago |
Every time I read "Wah!" I read it in Luigi's voice. |
| Anonymous #1305069 2 months ago |
First off, don't tone down the content just to cater to pansies. It's like editing all the sex out of porn. You're left with nothing but shit. To hell with the naysayers. Make the story as good as you want.
However, No-Name is starting to come off as a mary sue, and that's terrible. It'd be nice to see him develop some sort of character flaw. Bonus points if that flaw is him being driven to become an anti-heroic sociopath by a despair cocktail of Blue Horn's treachery, Zodd's betrayal and No-Lips' tragic demise. Super Bonus points if No-Lips brithslaps him right before his dying breath. It'd be a shame to see the herd get their asses whipped by a bunch of cannibals because No-Lips' successor doesn't have the balls to bang his harem, dish out the hurt and lead the herd LIKE A BOSS. Or rather, like the semi-retired badass known as No-Lips. It's a shame that he's death flagged, which is only a bad thing when his successor's turning out to be a naive Amuro-esque fool. As for Blue-Horn, I was hoping No-Lips would throw away the idiot balls and just off him on the spot. Being death flagged is sad enough, but making No-Lips blind to the fact that Blue-Horn's obviously trouble is a bit of a blow to my suspension of disbelief. It's already at its limit when I read a story where fluffies actually have some level of basic competence. Also, I'd enjoy reading about No-Lips past more than No-Name's present. Because No-Lips is a badass. And that's awesome. |
| Anonymous #1305456 2 months ago |
can you tage these with the name of the story so they are easier to find? |
| Anonymous #1305652 2 months ago |
I agree with #1305069. No-Name needs some sort of flaw in him to fit in better with the hopelessness of this series. Maybe said flaw could be him trying to apply human ethics to the fluffy own situation, or trying to save everyone from death at the cost of the herd's long time survival, or even risk revealing the location of Haven to humans. Or maybe show that his intelligence be far more superior to other fluffies that is causes him to be ostracized.
Zodd could be sorta like a side story to the Haven herd, showing him rising up in the ranks, gathering an ever-growing herd, and finally sieging Haven in a bid for supremacy. During that time we can see a bit of evil vs. evil, with Zodd, the rampaging rapist, fighting against the cannibal herd. |
| Giant_Neckbeard #1307348 2 months ago |
I'm aiming for No-Name to have a couple of small flaws.
Crippling Doubt about himself. Self-Destructive protective urges towards other Fluffies, even the Evil Ones. He's petrified of 'Munstas'. Scared to the point of Fluff-Browning Terror. And nobody said No-Name will become the new Smarty Friend....he has the potential, to be sure, but he's also No-Name. No-Lips hasn't seen enough potential in him to give him a proper name yet. |
| Anonymous #1307565 2 months ago |
@348
Well, No-Name is the protagonist and Good Guy No-Lips is death flagged up the wazoo. If No-Name doesn't get his name right before taking up the the mantle of "badass fluffball," then when would he? Also, if those are his flaws, then he should definitely be killed off. I don't normally approve of darwinism, but when I do, it's because of spineless designated protagonists who don't deserve the significance. In fact, if No-Name becomes even more of a pansy than he already is, I now can't help but root for Blue-Horn. At least he has the spine to succeed the death flagged No-Lips and isn't a sociopathic sex fiend like Zodd or a naive self doubting coward like No-Name will be. |