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| kuren18 #1302202 2 months ago |
And now it's time for Bum Reviews with Chester A. Bum
Tonight's review: My Little Pony: A Canterlot Wedding, Part 1. OOOOOOOOOOOOOOH MY GOD THIS IS THE GREATEST EPISODE I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE! I now pronounce you SPOILERS! There's this pony, named Shining Armor! And he's captain of the Royal Guards! And he has a sister, who's a pony! And her name is Twilight Sparkle! -gasp- Apparently he and Twilight were really close, but grew further apart when she moved to Ponyville! And I'm like: "Oh my God! How are her friends going to react to her having a brother she never told them about?" And Twilight's friends are like: "Oh, okay." Because there's even bigger news to be had! Shining Armor is getting married! But Twilight gets really pissed that her brother didn't tell her about this directly, and she only found out about it because she got an invitation from Celestia! And all of her friends are asked to do things for the wedding, too! So it turns out that Shining Armor has been busy putting up a giant bubble gum ball around Canterlot because there's been a threat to the wedding! Which is why he wasn't able to tell Twilight directly. But Twilight is still angry because she doesn't know who he's getting married to! But then it turns out that the bride is Twilight's old babysitter! And I'm like: "Wow, some pornos really are true..." And it turns out the bride is also a Princess! So her name is Princess Cadence! And she was apparently the best babysitter ever! But when Twilight greets her, she acts like she doesn't even know her! -gasp- So Twilight gets suspicious and tries to get to the bottom of what's going on! And Cadence turns out to be a total flankhole! She trashes Applejack's food, Berates Rarity's dress for no reason, Berates Pinkie Pie for being Pinkie Pie, And then blasts Shining Armor with a green spell to make his eyes become like Derpy's! OH MY GOD! So Twilight goes to the rehearsal and proclaims that she's come to the conclusion that Cadence is evil! But then it's all explained away with Cadence being a bride-zilla. I still think she's evil! Trashing Applejack's treats was the most evil thing anypony can do! Oh, and they also explain away the spell thing for being magical Tylenol for Shining Armor's headaches. Because the bubble gum ball thing... it takes a lot of energy. So then all the ponies in the room berate Twilight and leave her! Even Princess Celestia! -sniff- Where did Twilight go wrong? So Twilight starts to cry! WAAAAAHHHH! I was so sure she was evil! I thought for sure Insulting Pinkie Pie would be a dead giveaway! But then she sees Cadence again! And Twilight is like: "-sniff- I'm so sorry! Please forgive me!" And Princess Cadence is like: -eyes turn green- "Piss off, bitch!" And then Twilight is covered in a green bubble gum bubble and sinks into the floor! -gasp- To be epically continued! Wait, is Twilight dead? Will Applejack make back those thrown away treats in time? Will anypony notice Twilight's gone even after the wedding is over? I don't know! This is Chester A. Bum saying, CHANGE! YA GOT CHANGE? Ah, come on, help a guy out, will ya? Come on, change! Well at least get me $3 to see the next episode! Trust me, you don't want me to think that my next crack fantasy is canon. |
| Kawa #1303127 2 months ago |
*applauds* |
| Anonymous #1318657 2 months ago |
Nice porno quip, it made me laugh. |
| Step-chan #1346576 2 months ago |
^__^ |