Blotter updated: 06/17/12Show/Hide Show All

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RandomFanguy
#1292446
2 months ago
These things are really starting to piss me off.
Anonymous
#1292456
2 months ago
Kill the one he wants to save, leaving the betrayed one hating him. Tell betrayed one he can be spared if he helps kill Smarty Friend. Hold Smarty Friend down and have betrayed fluffy kick and gore him. Then skin surviving pony alive, telling him it is punishment for killing Smarty Friend
Tabula_Rojo
#1292461
2 months ago
Poor Futashy
NightJack
#1292477
2 months ago
>Human Dash and Pinkie bust in and kill the guy.
>Hon't care about fluffies.

Really, just leave it with the fluffies, bringing in Futashy was pointless.
NightJack
#1292478
2 months ago
*Don't
Operationgenesis
#1292491
2 months ago
You know, I was starting to forget Futashy existed. Thanks for reminding me.
Anonymous
#1292492
2 months ago
Keep them all alive watch how they handle the situation...
CodenameOne
#1292493
2 months ago
Then filter them, fanguy, nobody's holding a gun to your head and forcing you to read them.
Anonymous
#1292496
2 months ago
Shove a hot nail in the smarty friends front right hoof. He cant live without some fluffy helping him. Let him and the fluffy he doomed to die go. Stick the one you have left in a steamer trunk with the dead fluffies. Lock the trunk and leave it in the yard to die among its dead herd the two free ones cant open the trunk but its cries will hurt them more. Buy a nice BB gun and a large box of strike on all surface matches for use as ammo. When ever fluffy enters your property shot him in the ass remember fluffy pony fluff does take a flame unless wet or specially treated.
sigh
#1292497
2 months ago
Why was Futafluffy going full retard?
Santakiin
#1292502
2 months ago
>About to grab Purple Fluffy.
>"nuu. . . pweese no kiww me."
>Before you reach it, you feel a rag against your mouth.
>Out like a light.
>wake up strapped to chair.
>"life is a party" written on wall.
>Several human skulls and other various parts around dark room.
>Hear laughter and clopping of hooves coming towards you. . .
>LATER . . .
>Pinkie Pie wheels out tray of fresh cupcakes
>Bringing them down to Fluffy Shelter to feed to abandoned fluffies
>Fluffies love her special cupcakes . . .
NightJack
#1292510
2 months ago
@sigh: It's wasn't a Futafluffy, it was a normal pony, and the way it was described it's Futashy, she can't talk just that "naaa" sound.
Anonymous
#1292524
2 months ago
Ghosts44
#1292532
2 months ago
@santakiin

UR DOIN' IT WRONG.

I AM A DISTURBED FAGGOT. YOU MAY PRAISE ME NOW.

@524 IT'S FUNNY CAUSE YOU READ.
Ghosts44
#1292534
2 months ago
FUTASHY HAD TO BE BROUGHT IN. IT WAS NEEDED. IT WAS WANTED.
deathproofpony
#1292538
2 months ago
>grab the blue fluffy
>shave it down completely
>lube it up with vegetable oil
>insert into smarty pony's rectum
>only head fits - good enough
>duct tape blue fluffy to smarty fluffy so it can't pull head out
>flip over your eight-legged shitmonster
>punch smarty in the stomach, making him blast hot crap into its sons mouth
>blue fluffy suffocates
>lube up smarty friend's head
>insert head into its own son's rectum
>more duct tape
>cover in clear, rapid-hardening resin
>sell as modern art on eBay
>put purple pony in a box at curb, write "free fluffy pony" on it
>box sits there for three days
>gets wet in the rain
>wind blows it into the street
>next morning, box is sucked up into street sweeper
>hear tortured screams of pony inside street sweeper.
>the guy driving that thing should watch where he goes
Dramatic_spoon
#1292556
2 months ago
did...we just have a fluffy futashy?
Anonymous
#1292562
2 months ago
>You pick up the purple one and turn him upside down.
>"Pwease nuu! Yoo say smawty fwend pick wun to wiv!"
>You start laughing as hard as you can at this.
>"I said that I would let one of you live, and that your smarty friend would choose one of you, but I never said that the one that the smarty friend chose would live!"
>You slam the purple fluffy's head into the ground as hard as you can. Blood, bone, and brain matter splatter under the chorus of screams from what was left of his family.
>You toss the corpse away and reach toward his brother.
>His daddy screams, "NUUU! YOO SED YOO WET WUN WIV WET WUN WIV!"
>"That's right", you say as you reach toward the blue one's neck. "I did say I would let ONE of you live. I never said which one, now did I?"
>Both fluffies fall silent as their feeble minds try to wrap up what you just told them. They fail to do so.
>"WAN' WIV WAN' WIV WAN' WIV NO WAN' DIE", the blue one screams.
>"We don't always get what we want now do we? You wanted to stay here, and I didn't want you in my house. Now I want to kill you. This way at least one of us gets what he wants!"
>You start pulling his head away from his body. You make sure to do this near his daddy's ears so he can hear all the bones cracking and all the sinews tearing.
>At least you hope he hears them over the sound of his son's bawling and his own trembling.
>POP
>As you drop the corpse, you can see the "smawty fwend" shivering in fear. He's clearly trying to and failing at covering his eyes with his tiny hooves.
>What's this? You hear something coming from his mouth. You're surprised; usually the little fuckers are loud but this one is traumatized to the point that he's actually mumbling a whisper.
>"Why dis happen why dis happen why dis happen?"
>"THIS HAPPE-"
>The unicorn shrieked at your voice.
>"This happened because you wouldn't get the fuck out of my house. MY HOUSE. Now look at you've done. You tried to take MY HOUSE and in doing so, your entire herd and family is dead. This is YOUR FAULT."
>"Pwease...pwease wet me weave fwuffy sowwy."
>"Oh, I'll let you leave alright."
>His ears perk up at this statement. Selfish little prick doesn't even give a crap about what just happened anymore, but then again, he DID try to escape without his herd.
>You pick him up by the scruff of his neck.
>"NUU WET WEAVE WET WEAVE YOO SAY FWUFFY CAN WEAVE!"
>"I am letting you leave."
>He calms down a bit at this.
>You walk over to your kitchen and, with a bit of difficulty, open up a garbage bag.
>You toss him into the bag and tie it up.
>"I'M LETTING YOU LEAVE IN A BAG!"
>He begins to shriek again. "WET WUN WIV WET WUN WIV YOO SAY WET WUN WIV!"
>"I lied."
>You swing the bag at your countertop over and over again.
>THUMP
>THUMP
>THUMP
>You stop swinging and start again when you hear a feeble mewling from the bag.
>THUMP
>THUMP
>THUMP
>You hear nothing but your own breathing. All that yelling and swinging wore you out.
>You look at the mess all of you made in your house.
>It's going to be a bitch to clean this all up.
>You take a break by popping "Commando" into your DVD/Blu-Ray player. For some reason the last thing you said to the smarty friend put you in the mood for it.
Ghosts44
#1292712
2 months ago
I SEE A LACK OF FUTA DICK IN THE STREET BEING PICKED UP BY HUMAN PINKIE AND RAINBOW WHILE THEY CARRY "LOST PET" FLYERS. ADD IT NOW MY MINIONS.
Dramatic_spoon
#1292816
2 months ago
...ah why not.

>stomp on the Purple fluffy's head.
> Other ponies look shocked.
>"Yuu promise to let fwuffy live!"
> "Changed my mind, asshole."
> Toss the Blue pony into the oven.
> Lunch.
> go over to smarty friend.
>".....well what do we do now?"
>"....wet fwuffy go?"
>"...sure."
> Fluffy pony beams at you.
>"but you didn't say anything about leaving alive."
SOMETIME LATER
>strap the remains of the fluffy pony herd to the smarty Friend.
> Leave it in the middle of the yard.
> "WHY LEAVE SMAWTY FWEND WIK DIS?"
> "Now, now, want to see something cool?"
> toss a firecracker at the Smarty Friend.
Tick, tick, Boom.
> Fluffy parts begin to rain across the yard and neighborhood.
>Severed Penis of the tranny pony lands in some girl's pink Hair.
> "What the hell was that?"
> "You got some red on you pinky."
> Rainbow haired girl picks the penis off her friend's hair.
>"....looks like fluffy ponies broke into someone's house again."
>go up to your door.
>KNOCKKNOCKKNOCK.
> you answer.
>"can I help you?"
>"Have you seen this pony?"
> Look at the flyer
>Ohshit.jpg
> it's the retarded tranny pony.
>"can't say that I have."
441
#1292835
2 months ago
>blue pony dies
>"oh noes" blue pony says in infant voice as he dies
>purple pony is run over by a army of bowling balls
>futashy dies for some reason
>giant dick falls into the street
>Ironically dick tracy is sent to investigate
>dick tracy finds out that mayor mare is a futa
>they have incredible sex until a giant alien with super tentacles appear
>the tentacle is actually michael jordan
>they all decide to go slam dunking in a volcano, dying horribly.

...

I should stop writing stuff while being sleep deprived.
Dramatic_spoon
#1292893
2 months ago
...I think 441 just one the contest.
Anonymous
#1292929
2 months ago
> ghost is a faggot
> the end
Santakiin
#1292963
2 months ago
@441 still a better story than this one
Narko
#1293108
2 months ago
Wow... I really dislike Futashy, mainly because I think Cartoonlion is an ironic female twist on the omnipresent desperate neckbeard, who has strange fantasies of... whatever... with her favorite pony Fluttershy, but killing it?! Ouch... All I ask is that someday Cartoonlion will put Fluttershy and Futashy in the same picture. You know, to show a difference I can live with. (Cause I really love Fluttershy and that chick Cartoonlion is messing up my headcannon.)

Anyway... Let's give this a shot!

> The smarty friend is abject now.
>He waddles over to his sons and tries to hug them.
>They are all crying weakly and begging for mercy.
>This disgusts you.
>You take off your shirt and tightly wrap the purple fluffy in it with just it's head sticking out.
>You set it on the couch in a way that it gets a prime view of what's about to go down.
>You turn around at the remaining balls of fluff.
>Disgusting...
>But wait... Something catches your eye.
>You look down at your rippling pectoral muscles.
>All that yard work has made you into a paradigm of hotness... An Adonis...
>Oh man... You are so hot for yourself...
>You flex your biceps and...
>*PHHOOOSSSHH!*
>The power of your unadulterated sex appeal illuminates the entire room.
>The surviving fluffy ponies are stunned.
>All at once you are seem to darken and glow.
>All is magnificent.
>The power of your awesomeness regenerates all of the fluffies... Even Futashy has been revived. (Sans the dick. That is sick, bro.)
> The dick is blown out the window onto the street. It kills these two chicks looking for their dog or some crap.
> Your hair waving in the wind, you look upon the revived ponies...
>Futashy, now Fluttershy, catches your eye...
>The penis was a horrible curse cast by some female neckbeard, named AnimeLion or something. I dunno.
>This is no ordinary Fluttershy... This is new hotness Fluttershy.
>You are Adonis...
>She is Venus...
>HOT PONY SEX.

>THE END.

Oh wait... fluffies need to die... that was a prerequisite.

>FLUFFY PONY DROWNS.

Okay. I just spent like, seven minutes on that. No way I'm not posting.

DO I WIN, GHOSTS?!
Anonymous
#1293562
2 months ago
>You kill all the fluffies
>You feel like a champ
>You cross the road from your house
>WHUMP
>A huge car runs over you
>You're thrown in the air, all your bones crushed
>One of the people in the car looks at your mangled body
>He turns at the driver
>"Shit, Scott, I think you killed him!"
>mr. Scott Free, accountant, 32 years old, turns himself in
>He does some jail time
>He gets out, steels himself and goes on with his life
>He's the only one to remember you, and only as "the poor moron who was crossing the street without looking and that I ran over"
Anonymous
#1293566
2 months ago
^Yep, as requested the main character gets away scott free. Or he's taken out by Scott Free. Same deal.
PandaSennin
#1293592
2 months ago
Sick bastards here as always.
Ghosts44
#1294019
2 months ago
SOMEBODY IS MAD. SOMEBODY DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO FILTER TAGS. HOW IS YOUR AUTISM AND DOWN SYNDROME, PANDASENNIN?
Santakiin
#1294214
2 months ago
@Ghost44
SOMEONE IS ABUSING THE ROYAL CANTERLOT VOICE!!
Ghosts44
#1296267
2 months ago
NOU