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Anonymous #1276513 2 months ago

interesting!

Giant_Neckbeard #1276516 2 months ago

Quite interesting. Moar!

Anonymous #1276531 2 months ago

A 1: Because of their inbreeding, they tend to version 2, but I do think that it's more between the two extremes. The fluffy pony does have short legs, but it's the fluff that hinders them at being able to move freely (although even shaved they still are slow enough for humans to outwalk them even when the fluffy pony is running at max speed). A 2: Fluffsplosion isn't a defensive mechanism, it's just one way a fluffy dam might give birth. The chances for it to happen increases with the number of foals that are gestated in the dam, and with higher stress. Feral fluffy ponies have found out how to decrease the chance for fluffsplosion, by hugging and helping the dam giving birth, which relaxes the birthing mare a lot. A 3: They can have up to 5 foals normally. A 4: The gestation lasts around 1 month, and they come regularly in heat. However, fluffy stallions can still inseminate the mare even outside this time. They are born with little fluff. Their speech is integrated in their brains, because fluffy ponies are abominations of science. A 5: They are around the size of house cats, but some few exceptional individual fluffy ponies have been reported as up to 4 feet high. There is an urban legend about a fluffy pony having grown to the size of Godzilla after some hair conditioner fell upon it, but this is regarded as nonsense.

Anonymous #1276532 2 months ago

"...momma, spaghetti..." I hope the Princess made lots of it.

Anonymous #1276535 2 months ago

Only gonna try to answer the one about speech. I figure since they are lab-created, and not engineered to survive in the wild, that they seek care from both humans and their mothers. Thus, much as a human baby is engineered to cry when hungry, baby fluffies cry too... by saying "Miwk!" or "Nummies!" or something. The babies don't know what it means, but it does get them food from either their mothers or sympathetic humans, so it serves its purpose. Similarly, "I wuv yoo" gets them protection and care. When they get older their brains develop and they figure out (in their own dim way) that words have meaning and they can consciously ask for things and even converse. Sort of.

Anonymous #1276537 2 months ago

Addendum: A 5: Fluffy ponies average at 150 gramm per inch, and they can only live up to 2 years, because of their decreased immune functions and high genetic instability. A price that had to be payed for creating little fuzzed horses that can speak.

Anonymous #1276541 2 months ago

I agree with MOSt of that, but what I disagree with most is the life span. Ideally, I think they should live to be fairly old,. maybe to 5 or 6, in PERFECT conditions. BUT, fluffy intelligence dictates they WILL kill themselves SOMEHOW within a year or two at max. Communication between fluffies shouldn't be limited at young ages between each other, just the humans can't understand that baby-babble.

dudemang #1276543 2 months ago

If you carry the analogy that the Fluffy Ponies are to My Little Pony what Yukkuri are to Touhou, you'll find they're both creatures that only adhere to the loosest moorings of biology. Yukkuri are largely accepted to be dumb, caricatured creatures that function like animals (including reproduction), yet are just blobs filled with tasty bean paste. Can't Fluffies do the same? I can get behind a call for consistency, but some notion of "realism" just seems to fall somewhere between needless creative limitation and superfluous imposition.

dudemang #1276548 2 months ago

...Actually, I interpreted the post in part rather than in whole. ignore my last post i'm dumb The headcanon at the bottom seems moderate and sensible, so I think I agree with that.

Anonymous #1276557 2 months ago

Question 1: For me, my exact mental image of how the fluffy ponies look is the way Art-Anon depicts them in his/her pictures. As one anon on 4chan describes them, "[t]hey have just the right amount of retard that you imagine a fluffy pony has." Question 2: The way I've seen it depicted is that a fluffsplosion is the mundane way for a fluffy pony dam to give birth. What we would call a normal delivery is completely unnatural for them. Personally, I'm glad that people don't use fluffsplosions much anymore (unless they're induced via abuse) and use normal deliveries. After all, if the dam dies from birthing, you can't break her by killing her foals in front of her. Question 3: Don't give a crap how many foals a dam could have. Whatever the writer chooses I'll just go with as long as it doesn't break my suspension of disbelief. Question 4: Don't give a crap other than the author remaining consistent within the story. Details like these get in the way of fluffy pony death, abuse, and feral brutality. In short, as long as they don't break my suspension of disbelief. Question 5: See answer for question 1 for most dimensions. For average weight, light enough to easily pick up a few in one hand, but massive enough to kick/throw/launch into a wall and break a few limbs. Alternatively, massive enough to hurt themselves when they feebly try to headbutt a human. As for their maximum lifespan all I have to say is this: however long it takes them to die within the story regardless of the cause. Speech: As long as they speak retard and don't add unnecessary Ws to words that don't contain an "L" or an "R", I'm fine with not giving a crap as to how their speech develops. Average Velocity: Feeble. "Running" for them is equal to a slow walk for us. Gliding and "magic": Generally pegasi just glide and unicorns can emit feeble sparks. However, if the author can work a way to make a pegasus fly or a unicorn do some limited levitation, and said things cause a fluffy pony (or two or three or all of them) to die (preferably horribly), then it's all fine to me. As you can no doubt tell, I'm more interested in the details regarding how the little shits die than the details regarding their personal stats.

JP #1276566 2 months ago

That headcanon is better than mine. I always figured fluffy gestation would take around 5 months. They're smaller than my versions. Image 1 agrees with me and I'e never understood fluffsposion either.

Anonymous #1276567 2 months ago

Anon #1276531 here. I also mostly agree with my fine colleague #1276557.

Ol_Dirty #1276572 2 months ago

1: Something between, short legs but their "torso" is a little taller than those two 2: The fluffsplosion is when the mare literally explodes in odrer to birth the foals. This usually happens when the mare is giving birth to more foals at once than her body can handle. Don't ask me how that works. 3: Up to five. Like I said, the more foal they're having, the higher the chances of a fluffsplosion. Also, I never considered the amount of teats to be limited to certain number. 4: Gestation: About a week. Heat: About a week. Born fluffy: Yes 5: Average size: Height: 40cm Length: 45cm Width: 30cm Weight: 1.5 kg empty. Lenght of tail and fluff depend on the size of the pony. The same food that fuels the growth of the pony, fuels the growth of the fluff. The longest living fluffy pony died at the age of 5. Due to their natural self-destructiveness, the average lifespan for a domesticated fluffy pony is 11 months. Ferals who've learned to care for themselves generally survive a month or two longer. Extra: Speech: They just do. It's simple at first, but they become a bit more advanded as they pick up more words. Speech developement usually stop or becomes much, much slower after a month of being born. Speed: Maximum speed of the average fluffy pony is 5 mph. The fluffy pony must be in a horrible state of panic in order to achieve this speed. Flight and magic: A strong and coordinated pegasus can flap it's wings and become airborne for just long enough to fly off the floor onto a table. A smart unicorn can learn very basic spells like sparks, lighting dark places and weak telekinesis. As interesting as I found this to be, I implore you, don't try to bring realism into fluffy pony stories. Like Discord said: "What fun is there in making sense?"

Ginger_Fig #1276574 2 months ago

Personal headcanon; 1) I think version 1, but I think the body is much scrawnier under the fluff.. 2) I think fluffsplosion is kinda stupid but I acknowledge its existence in my stories. I'm guessing it's a case of jammed up pony cervix and too much amniotic fluid. Personally, I like the idea of normal fluffy birth because it allows the mare to bond with her foals which makes it all the more heart-wrenching when they (or she) dies. 3) 1 foal normal...2 sometimes...3 aberrant. Anything more than three is just silly. 4) I've kept gestation time vague but nothing less than 8 weeks. Fluffy needs to invest time and effort into having foals so it's tragic when they die. When do they go into heat? Whenever it's convenient for the story. At birth; fluffy but wet. As soon as fluff dries it puffs up to keep foal warm (fluffy pony still depends on mother's body heat). 5) A little larger than a cat. Fluff thickness depends on the animal's living conditions. Pet ponies, groomed daily, will have thick, light fluff, maybe 3-4 inches deep. In the wild this will be dirty and matted down to 2-3 inches. This is important since matted fluff allows for genital contact...impossible for unshaven pet fluffies. Tail length; shorter than a cat. A real horse tail only has a short fleshy part followed by long hair. Fluffies have dense, curly fluff tails just long enough for a human to grab & hold. Weight; lighter than a cat of corresponding size. They are pretty scrawny under the fluff. Life span; Maybe 5-7 years but fluffy ponies seldom reach this mark. Extras) I agree with OP, foals can't speak right after birth but they pick up words quick. Speed; a full run=human walking speed. 2.5-3mph. They usually fall down when running this fast. Flight; absolutely zero. Pegasus fluffy wings are 100% useless. Magic; none...maybe a few useless sparks. Fluffy Pony Protection Agency: An organization with no official power other than Bruno's powerful hip thrusts. FPPA publishes pamphlets on proper fluffy care, grooming and feeding. FPPA does not condemn all physical punishment of fluffy ponies, but seeks to provide acceptable guidelines for fluffy discipline. Again; this is just my headcanon. Nobody else is bound to it of course.

Ol_Dirty #1276588 2 months ago

I should point out, in my earlier comment, considering the dimensions of a fluffy pony, I included the fluff in my calculations, not just the flesh.

Ol_Dirty #1276603 2 months ago

Another correction: let me bring both the gestation and heat interval time up to a month. My headcanon is quite vauge when it comes to this but the point is that the gestation and the heat interval are both just as long.

Anonymous #1276617 2 months ago

From where does the idea come up that fluffsplosion is some kind of emergency act to divert the attention of predators? I've never seen that being mention in any greentext.

Mayclore #1276620 2 months ago

This is the longest comment of all time. 1) Picture one is what I envision. 2) I've never written it, but I see it as using the same mechanism as the zinc cylinder stomach explosion. Thus, when fluffy mother has reached full swell, and has not taken the serum seen in most fluffy foal stories to induce natural birth, she explodes because her body has resumed normal acid production (as it would after she gives birth in the regular way) and through some mechanism introduced reactive metals into her stomach. Perhaps she is programmed to demand foods high in zinc content when she is close to being due so she may explode successfully. I said in 'Judgment' that the dams' stomach acid is weaker to prevent foals from being hurt by it during an explosive birth. This would also prevent premature explosion, as her stomach acid will be too weak to begin the detonation if she is not near her due date. Sometimes the explosion may not be strong enough to eject the foals clear, in which case one of the properties of their slimy afterbirth (not to mention the fluff) may be to protect them from the acid splatter. As for the foal ejection process, look how weak most fluffy body tissues are. The cords should snap easily when the explosion occurs. The fluff of the babies would serve to deaden both the concussive impact and the actual collision with the ground. Also, dams at full swell are usually rolled around, giving the idea that they have become like basketballs (perhaps a function of their skin becoming taught, increasing their internal pressure) and are not susceptible to pressure detonations – unless you pull a dairy farmer and begin punching them. Mares close to their due dates, but not close enough to explode, would go into stress labor and birth foals naturally in the above punching scenario. 3) I would say three to five foals per litter, with oddball variances (sometimes one, sometimes six or seven). Remember, these things were bred to assume that a human would be around to feed litters this size, hence the survival rate of foals in the wild is probably around 40%. I imagine mothers will know which foals to reject because they still are horses with instinct even if they are fluffy and heavily programmed. Feral herds probably abandon babies all the time. 4) Given how many of the damn things there seem to be, I wouldn't give it that long. Perhaps fourteen to twenty-one days? Development of fluffies seems to be heavily accelerated anyway, which may help address the 'which foals do I feed' problem above, as those foals that can talk within 48 to 72 hours continue to get food simply because their mothers understand them better, while the squeaking foals who can't speak (because they're too small, or can't fight their way to a teat to get food to develop) are rejected and die. Concerning fluff development, foals may have only enough to protect themselves from acid rain during an explosive birth; once they are born and their nascent fuzz contacts air, a growth process may be triggered by genetic signals to bring them toward maximum fluffiness. 5) I have them as a sixteen inch rough spheroid as adults, with fluff three inches deep and tails about six to eight inches long. Average weight is four to seven pounds (barring starvation or overfeeding). Foals are probably a little larger than kittens and have weights measured in ounces. In captivity with good care, three years of life is not too unusual, but even the best feral herds will struggle to make it past a year without human intervention. If gestation is two to three weeks as above, then heat periods would probably be expected once every two months at maximum, or once per three months at minimum until the mare exits fertility. Extras... Fluffy pony language progression headcanon: At birth: squeaking 24-48 hours on, if dominant foals: words like 'wuv' (to induce caretaking), 'momma'/'dadda' (to identify parents), and the universal fluffy-in-danger word, 'hewp', also 'huggies' (for warmth until their fluff begins to set and lengthen). Two to three weeks: 'pway', 'huggies', 'owwies' (considering that sometimes 'pway' can be rough); if in captivity, 'sgettis' would probably enter their vocabulary around this time as they hear their parents demand it constantly. One to two months and on: Whatever they hear other fluffies say, so this is heavily influenced by environment. Anything from 'bwocks!' to 'munsta' to 'bad poopies' to 'sowwy stick', which screws up some abuse stories. Then again, foals may learn these words faster depending on how often they hear them said. This would also be the point where you could teach fluffies to identify objects, colors, and so forth. As for pegasi and unicorns: extremely exceptional pegasi might fly, but this is rare (maybe literally one in a million can do it) and most of them just glide. Unicorn magic is reduced to sparking and very weak telekinesis (i.e. making a spoon wiggle – barely). How fast are they? Imagine a foot and a half of stubby-legged fluff, waddling about. Human walking speed is probably a sprint for a fluffy and not sustainable. Their pace is leisurely and that's being generous, but feral fluffies, being stronger from more movement, are likely faster than their pet counterparts.

lordanubis #1276641 2 months ago

I plan on drafting up a definitive guide to fluffies soon. Just gotta get enough time.

Ginger_Fig #1276652 2 months ago

^ You realize that's a futile effort, right? Nobody is going to change their headcanon because someone else wrote a "definitive" guide.

Anonymous #1276670 2 months ago

Fluffy walking = waddle by default.

FeralSocks018 #1276704 2 months ago

1. Figure 1 2. Fairly common method of reproduction, similar to cell division. 3. 1-3 4. 1 month. Fluff develops in about a week. 5. 8-10 inches tall, 2-4 inch fluff. 6-8 inch tail. Avg weight, 8 ounces. Extra: They can learn rudimentary pronunciation of almost any word. Fluffy ponies have a limited vocabulary immediately after birth due to programming. Absolute top speed is 7mph. Very few pegasi can fly, most can only glide.

Tabula_Rojo #1276768 2 months ago

In universe, I'd say all these things vary simply as a result of them being genetically unstable and prone to inbreeding. Although I somewhat agree with recent consensus that Fluffsplosions should be dropped from canon as Fluffy mothers are too damn cute. And I like when they give birth and think they are pooping because it's funny

Anonymous #1276778 2 months ago

There is no canon, therefore, there is no way to drop fluffsplosion. This meme will only fall in disuse because having alive mother animals caring for their foals has more potential for cruelty.

Tabula_Rojo #1276816 2 months ago

I know there isn't but a man can dream

Anonymous #1276850 2 months ago

1) I think of them closer to image 1. 2)I don't like fluffplosion. IT's stupid and sad. So I think she just gives birth normally in my headcanon. 3) I'd say anywhere from 1 to 5 foals. Most stories that don't violently murder them seem to suggest that they can be rotated to get enough nutrition if more than 2, or Anon can bottle feed the extras. 4) Gestation lasts roughly 8 days in most stories. Fluffy usually swells to very big size. Born fluffy. 5) No exact measurement but I usually equate them at birth to about kitten size, and full grown smaller than the average housecat. Extra: I gotta say, I don't like them speaking at birth at all. I am ok within a few days learning momma, hugz, pway, food, but setences should take weeks at least. I think some people just like to have them scream to make the abuse stories more terrifying. (this anon hates the abuse stories)

Tabula_Rojo #1276927 2 months ago

I wait I misread that diagram, 1 is totally how it should be, no exceptions

sigh #1277026 2 months ago

I love all of you for these headcanons. Makes me glad that I'm not the only one who wants a bit of continuity going on, so long as it's funny of course.

Vanner #1277296 2 months ago

1.) Feral fluffies are probably image one, where as the fluffies who have lived in nothing but captivity for generations have legs that are half that size. 2.) Fluffsplosions are caused by an massive increase in pressure on the uterus following trauma late in pegnancy. It's kind of an emergency ejection system for fluffies foals if the mother dies due to inability to foal. Since the skin in incredibly weak, the increase in pressure is enough to rupture the entire fluffy dam, and toss the foals to "safety." The natural instinct for hugging exerts pressure from the sides, which helps normal births. Fluffies with too small or blocked birth canals can be expected to fluffsplode. Their umbilical cords are so weak they often sever themselves during birth. 3.) I'd say 1-3 is normal, with ferals giving birth to up to five. Since ferals are likely to have more foals, they are far more susceptible to fluffsplosion. Fluffies are practically immobile in the last day of their pregnancy. 4.) Gestation should last between 8-14 days, depending on available food for the mother. They come into heat every month, as it takes a month for the foals to be large enough to fend for themselves. Sexual maturity comes at about two months. 5.) At birth, they're probably about the size of a baby rabbit and fully fluffy to protect them. Fully grown they're somewhere between the size of a rabbit and a house cat. Earlier fluffies could grow by merging, but this trait seems to have been bred out. I'd say a max length of 24", max height of 12", max width of 24". They're 80% fluffy though, and if you shaved one, it would look like a large, miserable chihuahua with giant eyes that says "fwuffie cowd." Extra: a) Speech is inborn because they are abominations of science. Basic, instinctual words ("hugs", "pway," "sketti", "mummi", "nuuu") come at the end of a two or three days and they pick up more complex concepts, if they can, after about a week b) They have a top speed of about three miles an hour, four if they have been trimmed. Pegasi tend to be faster, but not by much. c) Fluff is basically just hollow hairs that act as a cushion for the rest of the fluffy. It's attached firmly to the skin, so when you take a chunk out, you're probably going to take some skin with it. Fluff is an integral part of their bodies, regulating heat and preventing their laughably weak skin and pathetic bones from damage. Note I didn't say it was good at it. d) Any skin not covered in fluff (nose) is about as tough as rabbit skin. Any skin covered by fluff is about as tough as tissue paper, which is why fluffies can tear each other open if they get through the fluff. e) Earth fluffy's bones are about as strong as pencils, and pegasi are about as weak as a few pieces of spaghetti. f) Their internal organs are really just terrible. Because all the connective tissue in their body is so weak, they're susceptible to injures and drowning that most mammals wouldn't even notice. A side effect of their ability to talk is that their brain can operate at less than 25% total volume of blood. This doesn't help anything, it just keeps them alive longer for all the abusers. g) One of the reasons they never seem to get any smarter is because their brains are highly sensitive to static electricity, and their fluff generates a lot. That's why you can reset their memories with a taser. Unicorns tend to be smarter because their horn acts as ground. Grounding a fluffy makes them miserable, as they start to realize what a lousy existence they have. g)

Anonymous #1277306 2 months ago

@Vanner tl;dr

cthulhlu #1277356 2 months ago

1: first one is best 2: Fluffsplosion was thought up by a inflation fetishist who has no idea how vagina's operate, but if you want to keep it you could say its a emergency shedding or all fluff in order to distract predators from foals 3: i think 1-2 naturaly, but with more bieng possible but unlikely to survive in the wild. 4: id say about the same as a housecat 5: i go with the Basket ball/baseball size chart for average size, but males may grow sligtly larger and variation is natural.

deathproofpony #1277398 2 months ago

1. A completely shaved fluffy's body resembles that of a MLP pony except its body is slightly elongated (as mares can carry 3 to 4 newborn foals on their backs) and their legs are slightly shorter. Like a MLP pony, they have only a knee joint, not a knee and ankle joint as a "real"0 pony has. 2. I don't subscribe to the fluffsplosion theorem nor do I subscribe (necessarily) to the concept of mustangs dying after ejaculation. Younger mustangs upwards of 2 to 3 years old are healthy enough to withstand the excitement of sexual intercourse. Because a fluffy year is around 15 human years, any male fluffy potentially could have a heart attack if engaging in intercourse at four years of age or later. Likewise, extremely fat or out of shape male fluffies could also suffer a myocardial infraction. 3. A mare typically has three to five foals. Most mares will switch out the babies from her teats to give them an equal share of milk although in the wild feral fluffies will chew young grass and berries and feed the babies as a mother bird would. Responsible caregivers will assist the mother in feeding the babies by using a small baby bottle with cow milk that has a teaspoon or two of sugar mixed in it. Foals are weaned after 1 - 2 weeks in the wild or 2 - 3 weeks in captivity. 4. A fluffy mare can become pregnant at three months. Gestation lasts two weeks and a mare can become pregnant around a week after the birth although they will typically try to avoid mating until after their foals are weaned. Under extreme conditions, and if they average five foals per litter, it is not out of the question for a mare to birth 250 foals in a year. Newborn foals are around the size of an average hamster. They grow around 1.3" per week (shoulder height) to their maximum height around 3 months of age. They tend to fill out a bit more over the next few months and by one year of age the fluffy reaches its final size, shape and build. Because simple words were genetically programmed into fluffies by the lab that made them, newborns are almost immediately capable of speech. In their first few hours they use a simplified series of sounds not unlike baby rabbits (rabbit DNA appears to make up around 20% of the fluffy genome) but after four to five hours the speech recognition and modulation kicks in. All fluffies have a selection of very basic words they know. The ability to speak as a human is actually incidental. Like a puppy has the genetic disposition to whine when hungry or bored, growl when threatened or upset or bark when excited, the words programmed into the fluffy brain are really no different than any other animals sounds. But due to the fluffy's rapid aging (again, 15 years to 1 human year) and their unique frontal lobe that allows them rapid recognition and retention of simple words, they develop speech capabilities at an amazing rate. Their rapid speech development does not necessarily mean high intelligence. Fluffies have notoriously bad short term memory with regards to rules and commands. They also have a childlike way of decoding the world around them which can sometimes be more trouble than it's worth. 5. A healthy fluffy can live anywhere from five to seven years. The record is currently eight years. As mentioned, a fluffy is around the size of an average hamster when born. They grow roughly 1.3 inches (shoulder height) per week to a maximum of around 16 inches at the shoulder. (fluff not included) that is the size of a small to medium beach ball. Larger or smaller fluffies exist, of course, and males typically are two to three inches taller than females although their bodies are around the same length. fluff is typically a few inches thick, thinner around the bottom and the face. Tail length is about 4 to 6 inches. A fluffy weighs around two to five pounds, around the same as a rabbit of the same size. It is possible that the fluff around the belly and chest of the fluffy was genetically designed to help inhibit their running and jumping, making an animal that could not jump high or run away at a high speed although I believe it is simply a genetic byproduct of the fluffy coat's genetics. Because their legs cannot move fully with the fluff, fluffy leg muscles are weak. (this lends credence to the idea of "fragile" fluffies although a fluffy that has its legs freed up from having its belly and chest shaved builds up normal leg muscles and ultimately is a healthier animal. Many owners and breeders avoid this, though, to prevent their fluffies from wandering off at a higher rate of speed. Fluffy breeders and those assisting with the birth process will typically shave the groin of the female to both allow the foals to be born without risk of being caught in fluff as well as to give easier access to the teats. Breeders will sometimes shave a male fluffy's groin to permit more free action of the penis during mating. A fluffy with unshaven belly/chest can run at a maximum of around four miles per hour although doing so for a length of time can cause stress fractures in their bones. Shaven fluffies with developed leg muscles can run around nine to ten miles an hour. They still need to take a measure of caution, though, as the simplified biomechanical structure of their legs prevents making sharp turns or stopping suddenly, like a rabbit or cat could. Fluffies are good at going one direction. Pegasus fluffies have lighter bones than their cousins, giving them their gliding ability but making them more fragile than their cousins. Pegasus fluffies flutter their wings rapidly which allows them to slow their descent and glide. Pegasus fluffies can still take damage from falling, though, as their wings rapidly tire. Any fluffy falling more than ten to twenty feet risks impact damage as the do not have the endurance to keep their wings moving for more than several seconds. It is possible that the wings are constructed from leftover bones during the simplification of the leg biostructure. Magic is not real, however unicorn fluffies have a developed cerebral cortex that is capable of low-level telekinesis. This ability typically manifests in the form of colored sparks (akin to pyrokinesis) and in a few rare instances, true pyrokinesis, levitation and related telekinetic abilities have been seen. These fluffies are typically executed as they are seen as being dangerous to humans.

PhilSrobeighn #1277511 2 months ago

1 - 2 2 - I understood fluffsplosion to be the fact that dams are too stupid to push the babies out and thus actually explode, leaving the babies behind. 3 - 2 is normal. Single foals will thrive. Anything 5 or grater will lead to inevitable death. 4 - 3-3.5 weeks 5 - 16 inches, nigh spherical, and light as all hell. Couple inches of hair at least, shaggier than the shaggiest cat ever. EXTRA - Quick speach capabilities on birth. If given time and the proper training, these things could live as long and be just as smart as humans, but speech capabilites and pet instincts limit them, and no pony ever lives to its fullest as they are instincutally prone to damage and humans constantly abuse them. They are as fast as a poodle. Pegasai and unicorns can fly and do TK magic, but only in about the top .1 percentile

Anonymous #1278455 2 months ago

1. Lots of fluff, moderate length legs 2. A fluffsplosion happens when an unshaved mare goes into labor from stress. Successful birth normally happens when the mares are ready, with them slowly pushing out the foals one by one. If a shaved mare is stressed, there's no fluff obstructing their exit and they can still be ejected out, albeit prematurely and with a likelihood of injury or death. However, if an unshaved mare becomes distressed enough to trigger labor, fluffsplosion happens. She tries to eject the foals, but the fluff in the way stops their exit. There's a pile up of foals and fluids inside the mare, all while there's increasing pressure to push them out. Since the squirming mess becomes too large and sticky for the mare's small fluffy vagina to guide them out, he pressure and fluids eventually escalate to the point where the mare explodes into a glorious burst of fluffy gore, leaving only the pile of foals behind. Also, having too many foals (4-6) clogging up the plumbing is another way to trigger fluffsplosion. As for fluffy biology, it's not like regular horse biology so the same standards don't apply. Fluffy foals come out without umbilical cords. They're severed at the time of birth, along with everything else the foals need to survive inside their mother. The hydrochloric acids inside them break down the leftovers and trigger digestion, turning the foals' biological life support into energy and later feces. As for preventing it from happening accidentally, the mares are kept stationary, gently rolled along or carried carefully by people. But the slightest scare, or a significant (for a fluffy) blow to the stomach, always triggers birth. The only reason they survive long enough to cause overpopulation is because they breed uncontrollably (literally, the stallions can't stop themselves) and it only takes a week after being impregnated for a fluffy to give birth. 3. Fluffies can have anywhere from 1-6 foals, with the mortality rate increasing the greater the number. The more there are, the greater the likelihood there'll be runts who're shunned and condemned to death. The ones that do survive, if there are more than 2, take turns sucking on their mother's teats. The ones that don't, if the mother sucks at mothering and doesn't let them have a turn, instead die off on their own or get provided milk by other pregnant fluffies. 4. Gestation takes a week at most, if nothing causes the mare to go into labor before then. Fluffies go into heat once every three months. When they come out, they're not very fluffy but are still covered in a small bit of damp, matted down fluff so they don't freeze after being dried off. They're fluff quickly grows to regular length and maintains proportion with their size. Fluffies are cartoonish creatures who can stay alive even when stretching out like a balloon during pregnancy, so there aren't space issues. The mother deflates down back to size after birth. As for their complex brains developing abnormally fast and being capable of speech, that's due to fluffies being an inbred bunch of critters genetically engineered FOR SCIENCE. Their speech is part of their very genetic make up, which is why all fluffies are capable of it without even learning. They're sort of like biological robots, so the core genetic functions of the mother's brain, like speech, their unwarranted self importance and their sense of entitlement. are copied to her children. As a trade off for the efficiency with which they breed and develop, their mental capacity is severely limited to the point where they barely develop at all once they grow to full size within two weeks. They can be taught and trained, but they never actually get any smarter without external stimuli facilitating their learning process. There are a few OC exceptions that live long enough to acquire a bit of "wisdom," but most fluffies don't live long enough for that, and many of those that do are still plagued with minimal intelligence as well as an inability to understand consequence, nuance or why they're bad fluffies. 5. They're a little bigger than a basketball and about as light as one, too. To get a general sense of their overall appearance and proportions, there's a bunch of images of fluffies on ponibooru. I mean the ones that are actually drawn, rather than the more recent ones that are all one color and don't have any detail. As for their lifespan, it's generally unknown. Most don't last a month due to their suicidal idiocy. Some live for a few years before dying off. But the stories where they live more than 5 years without anything happening to them or the fluffies dying of old age, well, those are bullshit. Fluffies develop abnormally fast, and their aging is sped up as well. At a certain point they're too old to not die from the slightest scare or trauma, making it impossible for them to live any longer in a practical sense as opposed to a theoretical one.

Anonymous #1278458 2 months ago

Extra: Their brains develop fast, but then mostly stagnate once they're fully grown within two weeks. They don't get any smarter. They just acquire memories that assist them with decision making. They know 50+50 is 100 if you tell them, but most can't count past 10 or understand why that's the case. Aside from a few OC exceptions, which can be attributed to the effect of darwinism bringing about the birth a few mutants who aren't dumb as a log, their brains never actually come to understand complex thoughts like nuance or responsibility. If they're told they're bad for doing something, they'll never understand it. If they're punished for doing something, they'll never understand why. It's just that their built in survival instincts, albeit weak, combined with their bare minimum sentience allow them to associate "bad things" with the action. They still don't understand it, though, and they never will. They're no more intelligent than the average animal. It's just that they can talk, which is offset by having weaker instinct, which actually makes them seem both smarter and stupider than regular animals at the same time with fluffies excelling at neither survival or intelligence. They're jacks of no trades. As for them being capable of intelligence, that's a falsehood. Rather than their brians being more complex and capable of intelligence than us, the limited processing power of their small brains doesn't allow for their brains to do any more than manage their bodily functions and fluffy speech. Trying to push them any more, such as facilitating deep thought, makes their heads hurt and causes them to simply give up trying to understand you. When they're faced with significant external stimuli, such as pain, it causes a mini meltdown in their brains. Brain power is diverted from normal functions in order to process the signals from the nerve endings. This results in a loss of bowel control and possible urinary incontinence as well. It overloads their senses, which aren't equipped to handle such things, causing them to scream and yell out uncontrollably. Excessive stimuli, like an electric shock maintained for no less than a few seconds, is such an overload that it diverts brain power from all functions, essentially rebooting the fluffy with no memories or psychological problems. During the few seconds following the shock, their "boot up time," vocal suggestions can be implanted within their psyche that the fluffies think are their own thoughts. The suggestion window is too small to teach them anything meaningful, though, so it's usually not worth it. However, if some emotional trauma is responsible for a fluffy's physical problems, a good resetting is the cure. Unfortunately, the side effect is that the fluffy has to be trained all over again, which is why its not a widespread practice. Owners have enough trouble the first time. Some still resort to it, though. However, even though most regular owners never turn to it, resetting is actually a commonplace practice in the niche market of fluffy amputation. Their no longer having legs causes them great distress, something that can only be fixed with a reset. Even if they lose all their memories and don't know anything, it doesn't really matter since all they'll ever be doing from that point on is sitting in a salad bowl or their litter box all day. That makes it pretty much a godsend to owners who don't mind attending to all their fluffy's needs. In some cases, amputation and resetting is even more practical than not doing so because of the cost of the damage and messes fluffy's inevitably cause when allowed to walk around on their own, not to mention it prevents them from committing suicide. However, there's still a significant cost to it and fluffy ponies normally aren't worth the effort, not since there aren't any laws against killing the vermin and it's simply cheaper and easier to just kill a bad fluffy and try again with a new one. As for how fast they can run, their top speed is about as fast as a brisk walk for people. Most fluffies aren't fit enough to reach that speed, though, especially with all that fluff weighing them down. The ones that do can't maintain it due to the quick onset of heat exhaustion from being covered in so much fluff. Not to mention the fluff sometimes trips them up before or during their attempt to run. Walking, on the other hand, is relatively safe, but about half as slow as a person walking. And yes, pegasus fluffies can only glide, but many can't even due that due to their wings not being very sturdy. Most unicorns can't really do much magic, with sparks often being the signature trait of a smarty friend competent enough to generate them. The sparks are capable of setting fluffies on fire, which quickly burns them to a crisp within a minute or two, but the unicorn fluffies aren't smart enough to actually understand using that as a tactic. The sparks are also not very effective against people, amounting to small specks of warmth. The ones that can levitate things, well, those are rare and dangerous. Anyone in their right mind would kill them on sight to prevent more of them, lest they begin endangering people. Especially the children that often fool around with stray fluffies, who would be most prone to stabbity death from the telekinetic fluffies. As a rule of thumb, most sane people kill any fluffies getting too smart, strong or displaying too much magical prowess. Some stories include in canon the FPPA, which employ the lunatic "Bruno" who punishes "abusers" or a buch of OC mary sue serial killers. Sensible stories don't, mostly because such groups would be labeled as terrorists and wiped out via arrests, gunfire or spy drone missiles. The government generally has no opinion on fluffy abuse and turns a blind eye to it. Local governments, on the other hand, encourage it through things like bounties on dead fluffies. The cost of cleaning towns and cities rises exponentially with the vermin pissing and shitting everywhere, as does the cost of repairing things destroyed by their accident prone stupidity. Then there's the dead fluffies lying around, attracting other vermin and posing a health risk to people. Suffice it to say, local governments are not happy that fluffies are causing their already tight budgets even further distress. The police that work for local governments never stop fluffy abuse, and are quick to inform citizens that there's no law against it when they see someone crapping themselves in fear of being arrested for it. However, there are always bad apples in the force. Some of them do arrest fluffy abusers, who are then later released when someone sane realizes what happened, or just go to town dishing out severe police brutality to those they're "morally" opposed to ETHICS BE DAMNED. Some abusers targeted by the moralfags and luvfags aren't even abusers. Some of them are in the wrong place at the wrong time while the actions of others were completely justified. Fluffies themselves cost a half a nickel for regular ones or ones that the sellers want to get rid of. Fluffies that are amputated, fixed, kept clean, well trained or have beautiful fluff go for significantly more. Most just get the cheap ones or pluck some strays/ferals and do the work themselves. Shears and a hot plate for amputation, heated scissors a heated metal rod for fixing stallions and mares, respectively, a little soap and water for cleaning and a healthy dose of abuse, starting with a wooden spoon "sorry stick" for training. Color doesn't really matter to anyone other than breeders or the upper class richfags who can afford to buy the beautiful ones and keep them alive. That's if they're even sold, since breeders would instead opt to hold onto them for the sake of making as many as possible. Finding a rainbow colored fluffy would be akin to hitting the jackpot. /canondump

Anonymous #1278471 2 months ago

Oh, forgot to mention they're still created in labs as designer pets for those that can afford it. Most can't, and won't even pay that kind of price with all the ferals, strays and "half a nickel"s around.

Anonymous #1278606 2 months ago

1) I subscribe to both as the extremes with great variance in between. 2) Fluffsplosion is triggered by a combination of the female's body unable to handle to accelerated gestation time, the number of foals they are engineered to birth at a time, and the mental trauma the female goes through from both the pain of the coming explosion and the fear of the inevitable. Having, natural birthing is possible, mostly when the female is calmed down and gentle pressure applied to her stomach. This is achieved by the owner providing comfort for domesticated one and fellow herd members providing hugs and such for ferals. Males DO have a tendency to die after ejaculation but only if they exert themselves physically to fatal exhaustion, which is surprisingly easy for them to do. I attribute the declining trend of fluffsplosions and males dieing of their first orgasms to the widespread teachings of better techniques in foaling and prevention of male exhaustion for domesticated fluffies; hardier physical constitutions and adaptations by ferals; and overall better physical conditions of the species as a whole when compared to when they first started appearing. 3) Anywhere from one to five at a time. Only one is not common, but not unusual, while 3 - 5 at a time seem to be the average. More than 5 is unusual, and more than seven is extremely rare. Domesticated foals right after birth tend to die due to the negligence of the parents and/or the foal being merely too weak. Ferals tend to have less foals due to harsher conditions needed to survive, with ferals outright abandoning weaker foals do to regaining their original horse instincts and to increase their own chances of survival. I imagined fluffies having multiple teats added by scientists to compensate for having more foals than normal horses, similar to pigs. 4) Gestation lasts anywhere from 7 days to about a month depending on the individual mare. Heat comes in every three months, though fluffies can still be sexually active and fertile any time during the year. 5) I'm HORRIBLE with exact numbers, but foals anywhere from the size of baseballs to kittens with adults ranging from housecats to the size of basketballs. EXTRA 1) Speech was implanted by scientists was a way for the fluffies to better communicate with their owners and the programming forces them to speak in baby talk. However, this has the side effect of causing a disproportionately large part of their brains to be devoted SOLELY to understanding how to appease and gain resources from their owners, which includes speech. This is similar to how sharks brains having 75% devoted to the sense of smell. Since horse brains are naturally less developed and complex than humans, this is the root cause for their legendary and, sometimes, reality bending stupidity and horrid short-term memory. Ferals, however, manage to circumvent this programming a bit to allow them to be smarter than domesticated ones and live without human assistance, but it can easily be reverses with either forced amnesia via electricity directly to their heads and/or continued care under humans. Speech does not occur right after birth, but only comes about two or so weeks of development. Their limited vocabulary programmed into their brains (pway, huggies, owwies, hungwy, sowwy stick, etc). EXTRA 3) Nomrally, fluffy pegasi can only glide and fluffy unicorns are only able to shoot out tiny sparks which have a chance of starting fires, some also having the ability to create small illumination for dark places. Rarely, every one out of possibly a few BILLION pegasi are capable of sustained flight, but it is limited in height, distance, and duration. Think small birds. The same statistic applies to unicorns actually capable of magic, but it is limited to telekinesis of objects up to their own weight, meaning they can only levitate themselves and nothing else. EXTRA 2) Usually 3 MPH, 4 MPH after shaving. 5 MPH is the max, but it only occurs when a fluffy is under extreme duress and/or very desperate for survival.

Anonymous #1278847 2 months ago

My headcanon: 1) Appearance/Size - Regular pony body, deeply covered in fluffy. About two feet tall, and just as round when considering the fluff. 2) Reproduction - I think fluffsplosions are sort of dumb if you're trying to do something more 'serious.' Maybe instead of dying, you could have the males go comatose for a few afters after copulation, making them more prone to be killed by predators or w/e. I'm thinking maybe 2-3 foals per litter. I have no clue about gestation. Speech/Intelligence: Most fluffy pony stories depict them as being about between a dog and a human three-year-old in terms of intelligence (including some of the stupid stuff they do. People seem to really over-estimate the intelligence of a three-year-old child). I like to think they're capable of learning, but tend to block out any negative experience, and as such will only learn from positive reinforcement or if the situation is overall positive (so like, they can learn from negative reinforcement if it's buffered by positive events, or something). This creates a potentially interesting situation where training one becomes a puzzle of sorts. (Also they will remember EXCEEDINGLY negative events so they can be permanently mentally scarred idk). Simple words develop early as a... kind of instinctive cry. It's not really language AT that point, just noises that coincidentally sound like words. 'Sketties ' is a genetically-programmed catch-all term for any food; however most owners take this literally and feed them only spaghetti, causing the fluffies to become malnourished and DEEPLY retarded. Their bad short-term memory results from their high energy causing them to sleep very, very little, which is really taxing on their minds. Maybe fixable with supplementary white noise, sleeping pills, and C-SPAN. Drowning: Drowning at the slightest application of moisture is sort of silly (ergo totally appropriate for the more funny/surreal stories). I'd tend to think that they're be more prone to drowning because of their fluff getting waterlogged and weighing them down.

Anonymous #1282427 2 months ago

FIRE ALL THE HEAD CANNONS!

I_Like_Your_Mane #1285241 2 months ago

How about post these in 4chan where it'd really matter?

Anonymous #1285248 2 months ago

How about you build a time machine to stop this, instead of whining despite the fact that whining never stopped anything?

Anonymous #1287692 2 months ago

I believe that there was a rift in time and space that connected Earth to Equestria more than 10,000 years ago, and this allowed a population of a dwarf subspecies of Ponies to get to Earth. This allowed Neolithic people to domesticate said dwarf Ponies, selectively breeding them to create the Fluffies. Then, like the aurochs, the wild ancestor of modern cattle, the original population went extinct on Earth. I'd say those dwarves were offshoots of the unicorns, pegasi, and earth Ponies on Equestria today, but went feral and lost the ability to speak altogether, but having lived alongside humans, they gained that ability back. During the Middle Ages, they gradually went into decline, but were brought back in the 1960s by a group of people I despise, hipsters. Once they went mainstream, however, hipsters sought to wipe them out. That's my origin story for these critters. Sorry for going off-topic.

Harlequin_Jester #1287712 2 months ago

WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS

Anonymous #1291952 2 months ago

@Harlequin_Jester You couldn't read that all, could you?

Anonymous #1292182 2 months ago

1. In my headcanon, type 1. 2. I don't have fluffplosion. Nor do I believe in the males dying after sex 'cos that's just dumb. They fall asleep though. 3. I'd say 2 or 3. 4. Anytime they make special hugs they can have "babbehs". They gestate for about 2-3 months. 5. Their fluff is about 4 1/2" thick, the adults are the size of a large rabbit, babies about the size of a tennis ball. Extras: a. They were descended from Equestrian Ponies, so the ability to speak is both genetic and learned. They learn to talk at around 2 weeks. b. Like chickens, the pegasi can fly but not very far. For the unicorns, I don't see why the can't perform full-on magic. c. I'd say 'round about between the speed of a human casually walking and a human jogging. Not very fast, but pretty damn fast for an animal with such comparatively short "weggies".

jman12351 #1312911 2 months ago

#1292182 Extras: a. Did I say 2 weeks? I meant 2 months.