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Comments
| Giant_Neckbeard #1255748 3 months ago |
What do you guys think? |
| Anonymous #1255752 3 months ago |
...Nope.
They are too dumb for that. |
| Giant_Neckbeard #1255763 3 months ago |
I was afraid of that. I'm afraid I can't convey terror and heartache with "Wah! Nuuu!" |
| Ginger_Fig #1255764 3 months ago |
It's like a fluffy pony Watership Down.
I'd read more. |
| Giant_Neckbeard #1255775 3 months ago |
I will admit to drawing a great deal of inspiration from that movie.
God, I still feel horrible when I think of all the poor rabbits getting buried alive. |
| NightJack #1255795 3 months ago |
I think it's good, nice job. |
| Rodman #1255800 3 months ago |
Would definitely read more. Really liked it. And Anon752, the herd is still stupid as all hell. Leave them to their own devices, they'll get killed in ten seconds flat. That's why they've got a Smarty Friend! |
| Anonymous #1255802 3 months ago |
If all fluffies are dumb, where do the smarty friends come from? |
| Giant_Neckbeard #1255810 3 months ago |
In my Headcannon, Smarty Friends are Fluffies who, through trauma, stress and genetic 'failings' have started to regress back to normal Horse instincts.
A solitary Male, or stallion, leads the herd, dictates where the herd feeds and where they will rest over-night. In the case of the Fluffies, however, they have a smidge more brain-power than a Horse, and the ability to talk to each other, however futile that might be. Thus a Smarty Friend won't necessarily drive other Males out of the Herd, nor kill Foals that he didn't sire. But that instinctive drive to protect the Herd is right there at the forefront, fueled as much by hormones as the mental and physical traumas inflicted by the Humans around them. |
| Gentle_Coltte_of_Leisure #1255814 3 months ago |
I like it, a lot actually.
Very grim, very tragic, but very, very good. |
| NightJack #1255818 3 months ago |
The way I see it, fluffy are like human when it comes to range of intelligence just scaled down, some are really dumb, drowning in their own saliva, and others are very smart, can speak clearly and understanding of what's dangerous. |
| Giant_Neckbeard #1255819 3 months ago |
Something I tried to convey is that No-Lips isn't cruel out of sheer cruelty, but because he's an extremely cautious and embittered Fluffy who has seen his former Herd wiped out by Humans, and thus is willing to adopt extreme measures to keep his Herd alive and intact.
Or did he come across as some sort of lunatic? |
| NightJack #1255821 3 months ago |
I got what you where going for with No-Lips, he's not cruel at all, he can make the hard decisions. |
| Anonymous #1255833 3 months ago |
I smelled the filthy stentch of this story from the thumbnail.
I have absolutely no respect for bipolar writers, leave abuse for the abusers. |
| Giant_Neckbeard #1255841 3 months ago |
Bipolar? Where did I flip-flop in the story? I'd like to know so I can watch for future 'jumps' in the story. |
| Anonymous #1255843 3 months ago |
This is fuckin' awesome. |
| NightJack #1255848 3 months ago |
@anon833: That just means they have more range at writing, not like the abusers that can ONLY write abuse.
When you got the talent to do it others without will be jealous and/or butthurt or understand and accept it. |
| Anonymous #1255852 3 months ago |
@1255848
The abuse in this story is completely forced in comparison to the real abuse writers. And yet his fanboys acclaim this story for God knows why. |
| NightJack #1255861 3 months ago |
I wish I was as good as you Neckbeard, I've been working on a fluffy story based on my mad scientist persona(what I use most of the time on here) but I've been at it for a week and a half, I don't what it to come off as abuse or love but more like a scientific study, I'm not that good at writing... |
| Giant_Neckbeard #1255870 3 months ago |
I have fanboys!
*Throws his arms in the air like he just don't care* But is sounds 'forced', eh? Alright, I'll try to work on that, but at the same point, this is early on in the story, having an overwhelming level of pain greeting the readers strikes me as bad, whereas building up to a crescendo of suffering seems to be a better option. My apologies, old Ghost-Writing habits coming in to play. |
| NightJack #1255871 3 months ago |
@anon852: Really, I'm not a fan of his and I say this one is very well done, but then again I'm not depraved, I have a wider range to my likes then beating little creatures. |
| The_Mungoman #1255875 3 months ago |
Very, VERY interesting concept.
Deep messages and almost dystopian feel. I'm just not sure if fluffies really are smart enough for all this. "responsiblity"? Is that really something a fluffy would think of? Oh, well. Still very enjoyable and a great read. |
| deathproofpony #1255879 3 months ago |
That's some serious Watership Down action there. Great read.
If you'd ever like to collaberate on something drop me a line. |
| Anonymous #1255880 3 months ago |
Nope.
They are dumb shits. |
| Home_Run_Fluffies #1255927 3 months ago |
The fluffy ponies are too smart in this, but still a great story. |
| Anonymous #1255962 3 months ago |
I like this story. The wild fluffy herd stories are interesting. |
| JP #1255995 3 months ago |
That was pretty good. Not senseless violence, but somewhat "realistic". Poor foals, they can't get milk... |
| Anonymous #1256019 3 months ago |
I wanna know what the fuck anon #1255833/1255852 is on. Or should be on. |
| PhilSrobeighn #1256109 3 months ago |
Damn good story. I really like No-Lips' character. the balance between wanting to be good to your herd and discipline.
If I could draw, I would make fan art for this. Somepony get on it. |
| Impious #1256213 3 months ago |
852 is Dumb Fwiend. Feed him to gators. |
| Anonymous #1256230 3 months ago |
I like this story. Well done. I'm willing to ignore the increased speech abilities of the feral fluffy ponies, because that way, we don't have to decipher what the fluffy ponies even mean.
Also, I like it how the smarty-friend No-Lips is giving Zodd some relief. |
| Mayclore #1256232 3 months ago |
Brilliant! |
| Appleloosa #1256285 3 months ago |
The premise is kind of interesting, but the fluffy ponies are way too intelligent in this story, which is a huge turn off for every fluffy pony reader.
Also, when you make a story in the fluffy pony perspective, it's wise to separate their thoughts of their speech, thus giving a clear distinction of a normal writing (thought) and the fluffy talk. In conclusion, it's a fine story, not brilliant though. |
| Impious #1256310 3 months ago |
230
It's from their POV, so they should be more fluent. To anyone else it's just gibberish. And they're still usually too dumb to live. |
| Anonymous #1256670 3 months ago |
However I find "smarty-firend" quite too smart even for a fluffy. |
| MeteorVenture #1256718 3 months ago |
Right, that's pretty much how I imagined it. They can understand each other fine and it make sense. |
| lordanubis #1256815 3 months ago |
For the love of Celestia, Neckbeard, do NOT stop writing. I don't care what the others say, having a semi-intelligent fluffy herd is fun to read about. Like Ginger said, it's like Watership Fluff. |
| Anonymous #1257053 3 months ago |
I agree with the "Watership Fluff" aspect of this. It's an interesting take on the fluffy pony stories. First they kill themselves, and now they REALLY kill themselves. |
| Anonymous #1257413 3 months ago |
"Smawty fwends" are normally the stupidest in the herd, getting themselves and others killed by standing up to humans or predators. But this is the second story I've read today where the "smawty fwend" actually had the age and experience to be called such. And that's awesome. Hopefully the trend will continue, with herd leaders becoming more worthy of their position.
The only thing better than fluffy abuse is fluffies abusing fluffies, like a boss. |
| Anonymous #1257716 3 months ago |
I am confused about the dragon. As much as this is a story about tiny fluffy retarded horses created through genetic engineering. It otherwise seemed grounded in reality. Meanwhile a water dragon is a thing of pure fantasy.
Also Neckbeard I am curious if you follow the idea that Fluffies were created using DNA of talking sentient Ponies from Equestra or if they were just engineered from IRL horses, which makes less sense in my opinion but I'm willing to roll with it. I of course ask this because your other stories feature Fluffies watching MLP which is something of a paradox... |
| Giant_Neckbeard #1257767 3 months ago |
[Insert Twilight Zone theme music here]
Somebody spotted that, huzzah! |
| Giant_Neckbeard #1257771 3 months ago |
Also, the 'Dragon' is an Alligator that has gotten stuck in the sewers. |
| Anonymous #1257807 3 months ago |
I thought the 'dragon' being a crocodile or alligator was obvious... |
| Tabula_Rojo #1257846 3 months ago |
I was 1257716,
alligator whateves also I suppose the world will never know regarding my second question? |
| Giant_Neckbeard #1258862 3 months ago |
Sorry Tabula_Rojo, I thought I'd said that in the Headcannon comment, #1255810.
In my Headcannon, Fluffy Ponies are attempts by the wealthy to make actual My Little Ponies, but the attempts failed and instead we go the Fluffy Ponies. |
| Anonymous #1259005 3 months ago |
No-Lips must be nearly 2 years old, which is quite a feat for fluffy ponies. |
| Giant_Neckbeard #1259085 3 months ago |
Yup, he's an Old Fluffy Pony.
And that means, soon, the Herd might be in need of a New Smarty Friend ..... Wittles certainly knows what to look for in terms of shelter .... Zodd certainly has the brawn to make everyone obey .... No-Name certainly wants to make life better for everyone .... Blue-Horn seems to have his own agenda .... Dun Dun DUNNNNNNNNNNN! |
| Anonymous #1259087 3 months ago |
Give No-Lips an epic exit, like distracting humans or other carnivors long enough to enable the rest of the herd to flee. |
| Anonymous #1259102 3 months ago |
^agree. Or make it so that workers find the 'haven' and are walling it off because the tunnel isn't used anymore, and the fluffy pony herd must now leave through the... BAD FLUFFY PIT!!!
And somefluffy has to distract the 'dragon'... |
| Giant_Neckbeard #1259117 3 months ago |
Also I've never understood the year-lifespan. In My Headcannon, the can live up to a decade.
No-Lips is pushing seven or eight years. A Lifetime of pain, frustration, terror, rage and the occasional moments of love and hope. I intend to give him a lot more screentime, and to give No-Name, Blue-Horn and Zodd some interaction (and conflict). But drifting topic slightly, which do you guys prefer? This 'Noir' Story of Fluffies trying to survive in a sprawl metropolis's sewers. Or the Endless Facepalm moments of Neckbeard and the Fluffy Armada. |
| Anonymous #1259121 3 months ago |
I don't think that something that is as inbred as fluffy ponies with their too stubby little legs and their near-useless layer of fluff that is barely keeping them from freezing to death would allow them to get over two years.
Then again, we can always chalk up fluffy ponies like No-Lips to be a special mutant, like Bit and Smidget, the fluffycidal fluffy ponies. As for your question, I prefer the first option. |
| Anonymous #1259555 3 months ago |
I enjoyed reading "alcohol" stories more so far. Maybe because it is longer and I started "feeling" the characters there.
Both of these stories are well written as you stray away from gore for the sole sake of itself, and you gave the characters more depth. Thumbs up for you, keep up the good work. |
| Tabula_Rojo #1260408 3 months ago |
kay coolio |
| Bronyboy #1261682 3 months ago |
I like No-Lips. He's the badass fluffy pony with a heart of gold. |
| Anonymous #1269533 2 months ago |
These stories are great. This one in partciular. At first, i thought that fluffy ponies stories are just stupid thing for abusers, but once you find pearls like that one... you know it's something more. |