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Comments
| Anonymous #1246031 3 months ago |
Maybe they should just turn into an extermination service. |
| CodenameOne #1246039 3 months ago |
For real, anon one.
In related news that old chick is a fucking boss. French Resistance? Burned eleven Nazis? Torches Fluffies for fun? If there was an award for 'best old person of the year' she would get it every year. |
| Saint_Braeburn #1246040 3 months ago |
I would sue the old broad for fire damage.
Go Capitalism! |
| Dramatic_spoon #1246054 3 months ago |
that's gotta be one of the most badass Grandmas ever. |
| Anonymous #1246061 3 months ago |
Who the fuck would actually pay "good" money to some blokes specialized in removing fluffy ponies softly? You could just get an exterminator. |
| Saint_Braeburn #1246070 3 months ago |
^
She didn't call an exterminator, because she wanted the kill. |
| Anonymous #1246076 3 months ago |
@Saint_Braeburn: Yeah, the crazy yet cool old lady perhaps. But who else would actually be that dumb to pay for such a service? |
| Anonymous #1246078 3 months ago |
^Pyro-grandma isn't even paying anything at all... |
| Saint_Braeburn #1246104 3 months ago |
It's probably A partly government funded service to keep groups like PETA and the EPA from throwing hissy fits. |
| Anonymous #1246130 3 months ago |
"Oh DAAARLAAAA~" |
| Anonymous #1246651 3 months ago |
>Get called the following day
>Just before you get there, get anonymous texting >"Do NOT, under any circumstance, crawl under the old lady's porch. It's for your own good. I.S." >You get there >The old biddy is waiting impatiently for you >You ask her to show you where the fluffies are >She points to the porch >You hint to a hurting back >She scoffs, then bends to look under that herself >Suddenly, WOLVERINE TO THE FACE! >New text: "I just thought that the nice lady would enjoy a better challenge, so I had my boys switch the fluffies with a mother wolverine and her cubs. I.S." >Watch the old lady be carried away in a stretcher >The SPCA carries away the wolverine family >You hear giggling >There's a freaking huge audience of feral fluffies, eating popcorn and enjoying the show >An old man, looking a little like Charlie Chaplin, gives a last bag of popcorn to the fluffies, then tips his bowler hat to you and walks away |
| Anonymous #1247088 3 months ago |
@651:
>Punch the old man. >He goes out like a light. >Call the police. You found the asswipe that planted a trap and tried to hurt you and the old lady. >While the police doesn't arrive you capture all the feral fluffies who are ineffectively attacking your legs. >Old man goes to trial and when it's revealed the old woman is a WW2 french resistance vet, he is branded a nazi simphatyzer. >The jury sends him to prison. Really, he hurt an old woman because of some worthless fluffies. He had no chance. >In prison the Aryans try to get him as part of the gang, but he refuses saying that he is not a nazi, just a fluffy lover. Without protection he is shanked in the showers and dies. >Meanwhile you sell those feral fluffies to a know fluffy abuser for next to nothing. Fucking pests dare laugh at a human getting hurt? If it's us or them, I'm on the humans side, thank you very much. >Quit job and go work as a fluffy exterminator. Pays more then your old job. >Remain in contact with the old lady. She recovers completely and shows her scars prodly. >Except for hating fluffies with a passion she is a sweet old lady that bakes cookies and other treats when you visit her. She's like having your gramma again. >And she's very badass, you even take her on some extermination jobs, she loves it and doesn't ask for any money. >Everythingwentbetterthanexpected.jpg |
| Anonymous #1247394 3 months ago |
@088
>Then, one day, you are called for a job >About a hundred of fluffies in a storage room >You ring "grandma", and go >Will be the most spectacular day of your lives >Nope >As you enter, you hear the door close and lock >You see a card >"It wasn't very nice of you to turn in my assistant after I went to the trouble of warning you to save your life, young boy. >By the way, did you REALLY think that I meant the fluffies when I said "the boys"? Honestly, sir, you can't be THAT stupid, now can you? Enjoy the refreshment and the company. >I only warn once, you see. Love, I.S." >The card bursts into fire >Refreshment? >You look around >the floor is covered in something sticky >Honey, it seems >Many barrels pop open, releasing FIRE ANTS in the store room >Millions of them >Months later, you're hospitalized >Granny barely made it >She can't even hear the words "fluffy" or "ants" without breaking down in hysterics >You get a basket with flowers and a jar of honey inside >And a note >"Luckily for you, I don't believe in killing people I dislike. By the way, did you know that "granny" once burned to death the governor's pet fluffy? Someone got a full pardon due to that. I.S." >You look at the man who carried the basket in >It's the old man that looks like Charlie Chaplin >He smiles, and tips his hat at you >"You shouldn't believe everything you read on the papers, young man." >Then he opens the jar > Must be good honey >There are fucking BEES in the jar! >"This is for the punch, by the way. Pip pip!" >He leaves you and the bees alone to get acquainted. >You get to know them one by one as you try to stay stock still to avoid getting stung. >Isn't nature magnificent? (For all the other readers, sorry for this impromptu bout of "mine is bigger", but I took 088's sequel almost personally. I'm kinda childish sometimes. My apologies :) ) |
| CodenameOne #1247674 3 months ago |
Fuck the alternate endings that troll the humans. Fluffies DESERVE everything bad that happens to them, and that old chick is a fucking winner/boss.
Fuck your shit, anonymous 394. |
| Anonymous #1248537 3 months ago |
Yeah? Well, Fluffy ponies still die and abuse is cool!
HA! YOU CAN'T TAKE IT BACK! EVER EVER EVER EVER BECAUSE I SAID SO TIMES INFINITY-ONE! Honestly, you guys in the "Fluffy Ponies deserve it" boat are as big a bunch of retards as the "Nuu no hurt fluffy ponies ever" group. Here's a thought - you don't like abuse/feelgood stories, don't read them or comment on them, don't tack on an ending to the story that forces what you want into it because you're too big of a pussy to handle the idea that other people don't think like you. Just stay on your half of the room and stop bickering. |
| Anonymous #1251603 3 months ago |
@394: Oh yes, you absolutely win. The most retarded guy of the year award.
Really, "My guy is part of a shadow group that attacks fluffy owners", seriously? That is as retarded as the Bruno and the Darla stuff. I thought of doing a story to counter but what's the point of having a battle of wits with someone unarmed. @537: I don't even read the gay sugary shit stories. But when retarded faggots come and try to ruin the good stories it kinda pisses me off. So I show them who's the better writer, like I did to anon 6651/7394. |