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| Marlbrony20 #1223827 3 months ago |
Pain. There was nothing else to describe the feeling. I fell flat on my back, my singed hide smoking as I had not three minutes before. The fire of the tube receded, followed by a laugh. “You wanna be well done or rare?” he said. I chose the third option. I lashed out as hard as I could, my hooves cracking against bone. This pony wasn’t very well trained. He was out cold, so I took his thrower. Empty. Of course. Not another weapon on this buck. I scowled, stomping his other head. Flicking my mane back and deftly catching the lighter in my wing, I lit up another cigarette. This was going to be easy. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- There she was. Yellow and Pink and cute as... cute as... Cute Ass. I revved up my wings, dashing from cloud to cloud. She sat there, taking shit from that fucking rabbit. No way in hell he was going to be in my fantasy relationship. I had to take him out. Quietly. “Hi Rainbow Dash!” the wall-eyed mare said. “Not now Derpy, I’m stalking.” “Who ya stalking? Is it Fluttershy?” she asked loudly. Aarrgh! This was going to blow my cover! I had to think of something quickly. I rack my brain trying to think of something, and it hits me like I’m going to hit THAT. “Wanna do me a favor, Derpy?” I say with puppy dog eyes. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The anvil had squished just enough blood out of the rabbit to get on Flutts. She was cute when she was dirty. And Crying. Finally, I make my move. I slide down, nice and easy, to the door in the back. No animals. Just Fluttershy, sitting in Leather Bondage gear and looking at me with dirty eyes. Wait, what? “Hello, Rainbow Dash.” She says, all formal. As quick as... well, me, she tackles me to the ground, sitting on my ribs holding a whip in her mouth. “You’re going to Love me...” She whispers in my ear. She moves closer. So slowly, I almost can’t bear it. We reach each other, our lips... “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! YOU WILL FAIL!” Some random dude says. Then I got smashed by a giant hammer, my pulp intermixing with bits of Fluttershy. AND THAT WAS THE NINTH TIME I DIED. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- You wake up, sweaty and cold and angry. How dare this man interrupt your sweet dreams? You should tell the INTERNET! They’ll do something about it! You log on to Ponibooru, Equestria Daily, and Flankbook, telling everyone about the dream you had. You receive the same reply to everything by everyone. “Noone cares. No, not even Noone cares. Go die in a fire. OVER 9000 LOL.” So after a few, well thought out blog posts, you sit back and enjoy the butthurt on all sides. You’re thirsty. You decide you want apple juice. So you walk down those stairs and fetch the apple juice. It feels so good, having the cold liquid splash down your throat... And then Pinkie Pie pops out of your mouth, telling you to go back to your room. You do. She waits there with everypony. They’re all [INSERT FETISH HERE]. But something is wrong. You can tell. “You will fail.” says a hyper-masculine voice in your ear. You turn just in time to see a hammer smash your face in. As you die, the ponies laugh and mock. “LOL OVER 9000!” In the biggest feat of neckbeard rage ever seen, you turn around to find Gabriel Angelos standing over you. You rip off his face. “No!” He is now Boreale. You have feihld the emprah and now you have diededed
And then there was first. |
| JP #1223828 3 months ago |
This image summarizes the internet well. |
| Ginger_Fig #1223838 3 months ago |
We all feel that way about it, Twilight.
But we can't live without it... |
| Anonymous #1224088 3 months ago |
But where's the porn? |
| Everypony #1224249 3 months ago |
The internet, it's all secrets and lies |
| Flammie #1224455 3 months ago |
Well Twilight does have a pair of "Fairly odd parents" |
| Takashi_0 #1229783 3 months ago |
Filled with assholes, it is. |