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Comments
| JP #1220370 3 months ago |
Why, yes, I will hug you. |
| Anonymous #1220374 3 months ago |
It could die by hugging if not careful. Other words, hugging it could kill it. |
| Anonymous #1220379 3 months ago |
It's an ugly fluffy. |
| JP #1220390 3 months ago |
Oh hush you silly anons. Real life fluffy ponies are unlike those internet stories. Their fluff gives them a lot of protection. They're very durable and they love their owners who love them. Abuse them and they can get quite violent. They are horses and their kick can kill a human. Fluffy ponies are ideal pets, although their high intelligence (they can talk) sometimes can be a bit problematic. |
| Anonymous #1220410 3 months ago |
Still flammable sadly, >:D.
Fur + Fire = One hella BBQ |
| Anonymous #1220432 3 months ago |
@#1220390
"Real life fluffy ponies"? lol |
| JP #1220451 3 months ago |
Anonymous@1220410 said: Their fluff is a bit like wool. It doesn't really burn. |
| Anonymous #1221331 3 months ago |
Why are you making up these fake fluffy pony facts? |
| Sjogre #1222321 3 months ago |
Those facts aren't any more fake than the rest of them. |
| Anonymous #1222981 3 months ago |
Honestly, here's my Headcannon on these things.
Fluffy Ponies drown because their fur absorbs tremendous amounts of water, just like sheep's wool, thus they are pulled down into the water, and with their short legs, can't keep their muzzle's out of the fluid in question. Males die during sex because lazy owners can't be arsed keeping their fur down to a decent level, so the damn things overheat and die. Female die during pregnancy for the same reason. There's 'so many' fluffy ponies because people buy them because they are cute, but then abandon them because, again, the owners in question are lazy fucks. Horses are incredibly dense animals. Fluffy Ponies would likewise be dense, but their extreme compaction means that their organs are under a lot of stress. |
| Sjogre #1223821 3 months ago |
I tend to just assume the worst stories are exaggerations or otherwise distorted. It doesn't help that most of the characters writing the stories shouldn't be trusted with a gold fish, never mind something as high maintenance as a fluffy pony.
I generally think of them as being as capable of survival as any other animal their size, before their weird psychology and physiology comes into play. One of the things I like about improvised shared world fiction like this is that you can pick and choose what bits of canon you want. |
| Anonymous #1224080 3 months ago |
You bring fluffy pony to adoption center and he squirms around full of fear.
"No weave fwuffy I good no make stinky in shoes no moe." You calm him down and tell him you want to bring home a friend for him so he has someone to wear him out err keep him company inn the safe room while your at work. "fwend pway wif Tum_Tum awaww day?" He shits down on his fluffy behind and thinks his brain fluff out then points at one of the wall cages. "pinkie fwuffie daddy pinkie uni fwuffie wan fwend! " You pick up the pre spade pinkie fluffy unicorn and pay the four dollars. You stick them in the same carrier for the ride home and hear them babbling all the way. "fwend huggie? Wan pway ? What doin'? No huggie dat way pwease " You get home and Tum_Tum is mounting the female for the third time. Seems he is a mutant fluffy stallion able to mate and not die. You call fluffy adoption place you just got pinkie from and double check yes she is spade and cant have babies. You stick them in the safe room, and let them do their thing. Tum_Tum will sure as hell be worn out when you come home from work and not get into any trouble now. |
| Anonymous #1224348 3 months ago |
@#1224080
That's awful. Don't you see the poor female does not like those kinds of huggies. She just wants to hug and pway but he just wants to hump, 3 times just on the way home. |
| Anonymous #1224352 3 months ago |
Get Tum_Tum neutered. |
| Anonymous #1229093 3 months ago |
Basing this on when I was looking after some stray cats ... and why I now refuse to let any animal in my bedroom!
>After six months, the Fluffy Pony you adopted has been house-trained, can swim a little and is generally the only bright spot in your otherwise endless grind of a life. >Decide that, working 6 days a week, you really do need another pony or two to keep little Vodka happy during the day. >Drive for three hours to find a nice adoption center. >Little Vodka is waving like the damn Pope to the other ponies. >Ask giant black man behind counter if you can adopt one or two ponies for Vodka as friends. >Asks if ponies really do explode and/or die during sex and pregnancy. >Giant Black Man says "Fucking internet. No, they don't." >Fucking Yes. >Buy three more Ponies, another male, and two females. >Figure when Spring rolls around, and breeding season starts, you'll just keep the females indoors for the two-three weeks it takes. >On way home, Vodka is hugging the other male, whom you think you'll call Gin, on the back seat, both babbling about 'Hugs' and 'Funnies'. >Females, Rum and Bourbon, are asleep in a pile. >Life is fucking awesome. >several days pass. You notice that while all four Ponies play well together, Gin and Vodka are always hugging each other. >eh, fuck it, don't care, they're happy. >Come home to find Rum and Bourbon playing with a ball. Ask where Vodka and Gin are. >"Pwaying boy-game." Rum replies glumly. Bourbon nods sadly. >"Boy .... game?" You ask, confused. First spend ten minutes playing with Rum and Bourbon and cheer them up. Remind them that Friday is All-They-Can-Eat Spaghetti Night. >You are a God to them. >Spend the next 10 minutes trying to find Vodka and Gin. Where the fuck are they? >Eventually hear 'pomf'ing noises from your bedroom. >Quietly stick your head around the door and look in. >OHWADAFUQ? >Boy-Game indeed! >Now it all makes sense. Shortly after your first fluffy realised he wasn't going to be hurt or abandoned, he 'wuved you'. Took a few days to explain dry-humping your face wasn't 'wuv'. >Vodka and Gin are humping each other tenderly on your pillow, going 'Eenf eenf eenf' and their fluff making that 'pomf' noise as they grind against each other. >You wish your camera was working, this is like a train wreck. >some minutes later, they finish. >"Waaaaaah! No-no feels funny!" >"Waaaaaah! Sticky sticky!" >Burn that fucking pillow ... >Walk away to make dinner. Also get yourself some anti-acids. >Have to come get Vodka and Gin as they were still hugging each other and are now cemented together. >Oh joy, dried pony fluids all over your bed. FFS. >Pre-dinner bath for the boys to separate them. Try to hug each other in bath. >Oh-no-you-fucking-don't. >During dinner , try to figure out how to explain to ponies that they are supposed to do that with the girls, not each other. >Decide it's not worth the headache. >Clean them up after dinner, wipe off spaghetti sauce and let them use litter tray one last time before being locked into their sleeping room. >go to bed >forgot to change the pillow >fuck >wake up next morning, go out to find Vodka and Gin staring out the window, leaning on each other and going "Wah!" at the dawn. >Ah who cares if they're gay, they're happy. >Look around for Rum and Bourbon. >See Push-Me Pull-Me Pony version wandering around, courtesy of a cucumber. >Fuck this. >go back to bed. >Forgot to change the pillow. Again. >Fuck. |
| Anonymous #1229313 3 months ago |
And now I have the mental image of Frotting Ponies in my head. Gah.
Much LoLs and Haets for you, Anon 093! |
| Anonymous #1231686 3 months ago |
Is it waving at something...? |