Image
Comments
| kuren18 #1216869 3 months ago |
And now it's time for Bum Reviews with Chester A. Bum
Tonight's review: My Little Pony: Ponyville Confidential. OOOOOOOH MY GOD THIS IS THE GREATEST EPISODE I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE! I need pictures! Pictures of SPOILERS! There's this little filly, named Apple Bloom! And she tells her friends the Cutie Mark Crusaders that they should try journalism for their cutie marks! So Cheerilee brings in the foals for the school newspaper meeting and is like: "This paper is all student-run!" And the foals are like: "Hooray!" But then Cheerilee is like: "Now let me introduce you to your boss, Diamond Tiara!" And the fillies are like: "Horru." And so Diamond Tiara is like a total Nazi about getting juicy news! She rejects all the regular news articles and basically turns it into the National Enquirer of Equestria! So Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, and Apple Bloom all try to find stories, But they keep getting rejected until they find a story about Snips and Snails getting stuck to each other with gum! And for some reason that makes a great piece of tabloid news! So the three fillies go by the pen name "Gabby Gums," And they keep trying to find embarrassing stories about ponies in Ponyville to publish, because apparently the grown-up ponies want to read the newspaper, too! I knew it! I always knew the National Enquirer was run by a bunch of preteen girls! The only reason it's published is because it's about celebrities! And so the Mane Six see the paper and are like: "Hahahaha! It's so funny to see this gossip!" But Twilight Sparkle is like: "I dunno, isn't this kind of mean?" And everypony else is like: "Oh, lighten up, it's not like Gabby Gums is going to talk badly about us in the near future!" And then Rainbow Dash comes in and reads an article about Trixie! OH MY GOD I've been waiting for this moment! I just got done shipping Trixie with myself in a fanfiction! But, there aren't any pictures. Horru. So anyway, The CMCs try to write more normal news, But Diamond Tiara is like: "Screw this! I want juicy gossip and nothing else!" And so the CMCs are like: "Ok, fine..." So then they write embarassing articles about each of the mane six! Twilight is apparently a snob, Rainbow Dash is apparently a pansy, Fluttershy has tail extensions, WOAH! Pushing the TV-Y rating, much? Applejack is lazy, Rarity is also a snob, and Pinkie Pie is apparently a party animal, Wait, isn't that common knowledge? When hasn't Pinkie Pie been an out-of-control party animal? She's like Charlie Sheen minus the drugs! Unless that sugar isn't really sugar... -I- mistook cocaine for sugar, once! It was the best thing that ever happened to me! Now I can just snort that and see ponies whenever I can't watch an episode! But I digress. So Rarity sees that Gabby Gums published her diary! And Rarity is like: "GABBY GUMS MUST DIE!" So she goes to Sweetie Belle to find out who Gabby Gums is! But then she finds out that she -is- Gabby Gums when she finds her diary in Sweetie Belle's bag! -gasp- So Rarity goes to lecture Sweetie Belle on why it's wrong to say these things about other ponies! And so when the three go back to Diamond Tiara to say that they quit, Diamond Tiara doesn't like it because that's the only thing in her newspaper that's worth reading! So she does the best thing she can think of: Blackmail! -I- blackmailed somepony, once! Oh the things I made Seth do... It was worth it until Trixie cut my balls off. So the CMCs are shunned by everypony in Ponyville when they try to find a story! Hey, that's what happens to me when -I- try to walk around town, and I'm fine! Please pay attention to me, I'm so lonely... But then they get the great idea to send their resignation letter to the press! And Diamond Tiara just throws it into the press without even looking at it or knowing what it is! -I- threw something into a machine without even knowing what it was, once! It created the script for Eragon! Bazinga! So the next day, Diamond Tiara and all the ponies in Ponyville see the apology letter that says that Gabby Gums won't write anymore, And everypony forgives them, Except Diamond Tiara, who's just kicked out of the Boss chair by Cheerilee. And so the CMCs learn that they shouldn't gossip and be hurtful to other ponies, even if other people seem to enjoy it! The End! So I really liked this episode! It reminded me how cute the CMCs are! I'm totally going to propose to each of them once they turn 18! Or... whatever the Equestria age of consent is! -Gunshot- I'm just kidding, I'd only ask their sisters. This is Chester A. Bum saying, CHANGE! YA GOT CHANGE? Ah come on, help a guy out, will ya? Come on, change! Well at least get me a copy of that newspaper! I need to remodel my box! |
| Lex #1216874 3 months ago |
CHANGE! YOU GOT ANY CHANGE? |
| Yorec #1216876 3 months ago |
 |
| Anonymous #1216901 3 months ago |
Kuren18, you have won the internet. |
| Dionysus #1216955 3 months ago |
This is one of your better ones :D
Good Job, keep it up ^^ |
| Anonymous #1216994 3 months ago |
Well done *throws some change* |
| TooOldForThisShow #1217058 3 months ago |
"and Pinkie Pie is apparently a party animal,
Wait, isn't that common knowledge? When hasn't Pinkie Pie been an out-of-control party animal? She's like Charlie Sheen minus the drugs!" Stop reenacting scenes from Platoon with Pinkie Pie. Switch to Direct TV. |
| Anonymous #1217714 3 months ago |
YES, YES! |
| Anonymous #1218909 3 months ago |
Who actually finds this garbage entertaining? |
| Step-chan #1219670 3 months ago |
XD
Very good. |
| Anonymous #1219826 3 months ago |
@909
That you, Slowbeef? |