| Anonymous #1196032 3 months ago |
Booo! Why are you killing them so quickly?
Oh wait, I get it. You were still in the pet store, so you couldn't drag out their torture and make a mess. It's okay. |
| CodenameOne #1196037 3 months ago |
Maybe the next story I have in mind will be more up your alley, anon 032. |
| Saint_Braeburn #1196041 3 months ago |
We have reached the lowest amount of effort you can put into a story. |
| Saint_Braeburn #1196044 3 months ago |
Although, I'm gonna guess this was written as satire. |
| HighPlainsSquinter #1196053 3 months ago |
>You adopt fluffy pone
>It's all cute and shit >You brutally murder because you're just cool like that >You choke to death on a dick |
| Anonymous #1196084 3 months ago |
>you own a fluffy pony
>one day, you forget to close the knife drawer >fluffy pony crashes into drawer >oh fuck >knives rain down upon fluffy pony >there’s no way he could have survived that >you shed a solitary tear >you start to pick up the knives >fluffy pony pops out of the pile, unharmed >”Knifies fun!” >apparently yours is one of those invincible fluffy ponies you’ve heard about >the next day, you get out of bed and walk to the kitchen >fluffy pony is banging his head into the cabinet below your knife drawer >”Fwuffy wan’ knifies!” >you’re not going to risk him dying >you shoo him out of the kitchen >fluffy pony starts trying to hurt himself in other ways >you lock him in his safety room >fluffy pony starts hitting himself with his hooves and biting himself, giggling the whole time >you decide to get a female fluffy pony to distract him from this >you go to the fluffy pony dealership, pick up a female fluffy pony, and bring it home >your fluffy pony is trying to stab itself with a toothpick it found on the ground >he stops doing that and runs over to you >he sees the fluffy pony you brought home and is overjoyed >”New fwend! Fwuffy wan’ pway!” >you let the two fluffy ponies get acquainted while you go watch some tv >during a commercial break, you go into the kitchen to get some snacks >on the way, you see your fluffy ponies >the female one is beating the male one up >both of them are happy and giggling >”Fwuffy wuv dis game!” >jesus fucking christ >fluffy pony s&m, all day, err day >this drives you to suicide >fluffy ponies are found and taken in by crazy motherfucker who jacks off to them hurting each other |
| Anonymous #1196097 3 months ago |
>Something wakes you up
>You roll over and turn on a light >Fluffy pony’s on your bed, tapping you franticly >You ask her what the hell she’s doing >She makes a gurgling noise and vomits all over you >She says “sowie” and hugs your chest, inadvertently lying down in the vomit and smearing it into her fluff and your shirt >seethe with rage >look down >fluffy pony looks so much happier now that its not feeling sick anymore >looks so adorable lying next to you >”Aw, I love you fluffy pony, even though your gross” >”I space pony” she says as she sleeps |
| Anonymous #1196099 3 months ago |
>pissed off by the end of Mass Effect 3
>go to Bioware main offices and demand to speak to the writing staff >you are ushered into the writers room >you don’t believe your eyes >room is full of fluffy ponies, playing, eating spaghetti, and generally being adorable >”These are the writers?” you ask >”Oh no. These are just the guys who write our endings.” >choruses of “star chiwd” and “sinfessin” sound around the room >realize that you have had your jimmies rustled by fluffy ponies >spaghetti starts falling out of pockets >fluffy ponies eat spaghetti >one of them looks up at you >”shepawd dwons” |
| Anonymous #1196100 3 months ago |
>you hate fluffy ponies - like REALLY HATE hate ‘em bro
>man, if you ever SEE a fluffy pony bro you’re gonna stomp its shitty head in bro >you’ll be all like *stompstompstompstomp* and it’ll be all like “wah I’m retarded and stupid pway wah retarded” and you’ll laugh because you don’t give a FUCK bro >in fact bro >in fact you’re gonna go to the fluffy pony park and break a couple of their necks just for a laugh cuz you don’t give a fuck what they think - you can do whatever you want bro >whatever the fuck you want >yeah there’s one now bro - sit tight while you stomp this shit like a ketchup packet in the school cafeteria bro >look down at fluffy pony as it’s all waddling up to you, getting up in your biznass, bro >yeah gonna stomp on it and it’s gonna feel so GOOD bro >he gives you them big eyes like fluffy ponies do and he’s all “Ey yo you wanna play with me, bro?” >you’re all “SHIT YEAH I’LL PLAY WITH YA LITTLE BRO!” and you and that fluffy pony are all UP in that playground’s shit bro >you’re rockin’ the sandbox one minute making bomb-ass sand castles and shit and then you’re like “let’s shake shit up a little, bro!” and you’re all up on that sweet-ass SLIDE bro >fluffy pony’s all actin’ scared and shit because it’s such a tall motherfuckin’ slide, but you got his back bro - you’re all pickin’ him up and puttin’ him in your lap where it’s all safe and shit bro >ain’t nothin’ bad gonna happen to your little fluffy homie on YOUR watch, bro >you climb up to the top and slide ALL the way down bro >ALL the way fuckin’ DOWN bro >but then it starts gettin late bro - the fluffy pony has to bounce on back to its crib and commence its evening program of scheduled chilling bro >it’s all like “ey yo you gonna be here tomorrow and play with me more, bro?” >you’re like “SHIT YEAH This was the best afternoon EVER, bro!” >Fuckin’ E to the V to the E to the motherfuckin’ R, bro. |
| Anonymous #1196102 3 months ago |
>fluffy pony is playing with one of the old baby toys you bought for her
>she burbles happily, but is stumped with trying to fit a square peg into the triangle hole >it seems apropos as you grease up >you crawl over to fluffy pony, erection swinging between your legs >without a word you flip fluffy pony over >”Wah! Pway new game?” >you lower yourself, rubbing your savagely pulsing erection against her soft belly >fluffy pony is still giggling and thinking its just a belly rub >you grab the fluff of her head roughly and began grinding harder >”Owchies! No puh! No puh!” >you’re getting closer, and you tell fluffy pony to open her mouth for a ‘special treat’ >door opens >roommate and his girlfriend walk in >after a moment of shock they start laughing hysterically >you start crying, but blow your load into fluffy pony’s waiting mouth >why do you smell tomato sauce >spaghetti shot from your urethra! >fluffy pony squeals in joy and latches onto your dick, sucking like a tiny vacuum cleaner >roommate and whore laughing >you ejaculate again while fluffy pony chokes out “wuv skapetties” through a mouthful of sauce-caked cock >diarrhea starts, the force of which propels you out the window, flying like an out of control model rocket exposing your shame to the entire apartment complex >crash and die >fluffy pony finds better owner, still tries to fellate for more spaghetti |
| Anonymous #1196103 3 months ago |
>Had a long week at work
>Decide to let off some steam by killing a fluffy pony >Stop at the fluffy pony shelter on your way home and pick one up >Get home, pour out a bowl of bleach for fluffy pony >Tell her to drink it, or she won’t get any spaghetti >Fluffy pony begins lapping away eagerly >No apparent distress >Finishes the bowl,lets out a small burp >“Beach yummy! Fwuffy have pagetti now?” >You’re somewhat taken aback >Sniff at the bottle, to check you hadn’t refilled it with water or something >No, definitely bleach >Guess you’ll have to deal with fluffy pony another way >Start filling the kitchen sink >Grab fluffy pony by the scruff of her neck >Hold her above the water >“Yay! Baff tiem! Baff tiem!” she babbles >Force her under the water >Fluffy pony’s stubby legs start wriggling >After a while, they stop >Give her another minute, just to be sure >Pull her out >Fluffy pony says “Fwuffy haf happy swim!” >This is getting ridiculous >Go to the closet, get out your golf clubs >Choose a nine iron >Back to the kitchen >Fluffy pony is eating spaghetti out of a bowl with ‘Fluffy’ written on it >You didn’t cook her any spaghetti >Where the hell did she get the bowl from? >Unleash into fluffy pony with full force >Swing with your back, not your wrists >Fluffy pony flies through the air screaming “Wheeeeeee!” >Hits the wall, bounces off, toddles back over to her bowl >Bring the club down in an overhead arc >Fluffy pony’s body crumples under the blow, then bounces right back >The fuck? >Days go by >You’re at your wit’s end >This god damned fluffy pony will not die, she just bumbles about spewing her inane babble about >“Pway!” and “Bawl” >More and more fluffy pony toys are appearing about your house >Knives go straight into her fluff and slide back out; it doesn’t even feel like you hit her body >Fluffy pony’s fluff appears to be fireproof >When you locked her in the freezer for a day, she just made a snowman >She even found some coal and a carrot >The microwave just made her say “Fwuffy toastie-warm” >None of the poisons you’ve tried have had any effect >Nailing her to the wall gave you about an hours peace, then she got free >Later, you couldn’t find the nail or the hole >You thought you were getting somewhere when you lopped her legs of with boltcutters, but a minute later they were back >You can’t tell whether she reattached them, or they grew back >Neither would surprise you by this point >Finally, you snap >Fire kills everything, if you use enough of it >Go to the garage, siphon the petrol out of your car into a bucket >Walk into the kitchen where fluffy pony is playing with some blocks you sure as hell never bought >Douse her in petrol >This just elicits a response of “Splashy fun! Splashy fun!” >Fluffy pony starts flicking petrol back at you >Stand well back and throw a lit match at fluffy pony >She lights up a treat >No screams, just “Fwames pwetty!” >She starts to run around the house, spreading fire as she goes >You chase after her with a fire extinguisher >She goes too fast for you to keep up >Smoke fills the room, then your lungs >You feel dizzy, and pass out >The fire brigade eventually gets the fire under control before it spreads to any other houses >Unfortunately, they didn’t make it to you in time >Fluffy pony made it out OK, though >One of the firemen takes pity on her, and lets her ride back to the station in the fire engine >She stays there as a mascot >Gets her own miniature fire helmet >Is fed spaghetti three times a day, and hugged as much as she wants >Fluffy pony drowns three weeks later |
| Anonymous #1196268 3 months ago |
>Had a long week at work
>Decide to let off some steam by killing a fluffy pony >Stop at the fluffy pony shelter on your way home and pick one up >Get home, pour out a bowl of bleach for fluffy pony >Tell her to drink it, or she won’t get any spaghetti >Fluffy pony begins lapping away eagerly >she throws up her guts >why bwech tase funny? >Fwuffy have pagetti now?” >You’re somewhat taken aback >Sniff at the bottle, to check you hadn’t refilled it with water or something >No, definitely bleach >Guess you’ll have to deal with fluffy pony another way >Start filling the kitchen sink >Grab fluffy pony by the scruff of her neck >Hold her above the water >“Yay! Baff tiem! Baff tiem!” she babbles >Force her under the water >Fluffy pony’s stubby legs start wriggling >Give her another minute, just to be sure >Pull her out >Fluffy pony says “Fwuffy haf happy swim!” >fuck.jpg >Go to the closet, get out your golf clubs >Choose a nine iron >Back to the kitchen >Unleash into fluffy pony with full force >Swing with your back, not your wrists >Fluffy pony flies through the air screaming “Wheeeeeee!” >Hits the wall, bounces off, toddles back over to her bowl >Bring the club down in an overhead arc >Fluffy pony’s body crumples under the blow, then bounces right back >The fuck? >Days go by >You’re at your wit’s end >This god damned fluffy pony will not die, she just bumbles about spewing her inane babble about >“Pway!” and “Bawl” >When you locked her in the freezer for a day, she just ate all your ice cream >None of the poisons you’ve tried have had any effect >Nailing her to the wall gave you about an hours peace, then she got free >Finally, you snap >Fire kills everything, if you use enough of it >Go to the garage, siphon the petrol out of your car into a bucket >Walk into the kitchen where fluffy pony is playing with some blocks you sure as hell never bought >Douse her in petrol >This just elicits a response of no smwell pwetty! >Stand well back and throw a lit match at fluffy pony >Shes on fire. fluff burning, screams of agony >She starts to run around the house, spreading fire as she goes >You chase after her with a fire extinguisher >Smoke fills the room, then your lungs >You feel dizzy, and pass out >The fire brigade eventually gets the fire under control before it spreads to any other houses >Unfortunately, they didn’t make it to Fluffy pony in time >you made it out OK, though. |
| Anonymous #1196454 3 months ago |
#1196103 FIXED LOL ^ |