Blotter updated: 06/17/12Show/Hide Show All

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Dragoon
#1178651
3 months ago
I feel bad for Cog
Harlequin_Jester
#1178664
3 months ago
Is that a lathe?
Molestia
#1178665
3 months ago
...Now I just wait for him to comment...

(wonderful work btw Jackie <3)
Molestia
#1178671
3 months ago
@Harlequin
Just take a second to imagine the possibilities of a device that spins an attachment-capable rod at a few thousand RPM and can move forward and backward.
Jackarunda
#1178678
3 months ago
@Harlie
Yeah sorry, I have no experience with them. I just tried to make a generic drawing from pics on the internet...
Harlequin_Jester
#1178680
3 months ago
I'm both horrified and aroused.
Draconequus
#1178689
3 months ago
Dear Christ.
If all he needs is batteries, Molestia will never tire of him.
CogWeaver
#1178961
3 months ago
BWAHAHAHA! BRILLIANT! Awesome work here, Jackie!
Although that's not going to be nearly enough oil for what's goin' down here.
...
...er... I mean uh... HELP! SOMEONE HELP ME!
I don't want her grinding my gears! Not like this! D:
Molestia
#1179032
3 months ago
Hey Coggie what's your preferred type of motor oil?
CogWeaver
#1179037
3 months ago
@Dracon
Actually I run on motion, like a self-winding clock.

...I realize this does not help my case at all, but I just thought you should know.
CogWeaver
#1179060
3 months ago
...Err... well, there's Ponyzoil, Canterol, Carriagoline... I... guess they're all good...?
*continues struggling to get out of her magic field*
Draconequus
#1179062
3 months ago
@Cog
You fool, keep your mouth closed!!
CogWeaver
#1179072
3 months ago
@Dracon
Well I just thought you should know, so you might have something to write on my tombstone after she pounds me into pennies...
Draconequus
#1179084
3 months ago
@Cog
"Here lies CogWeaver
He didn't have the guts to shut his mouth."
Ha cha-cha-cha!
Molestia
#1179086
3 months ago
@Coggie#072
...
I'm sorry, I read that as "after she pounds me into penises"
CogWeaver
#1179097
3 months ago
^Lol, well that too, I guess, if you like having copper shoved up your arse...

...Which, you
CogWeaver
#1179099
3 months ago
--know, if you don't, that's perfectly fine. I won't take it as an insult if you were to just... let me go... on account of being made entirely of copper. maybe a little bit of brass, too...
Draconequus
#1179108
3 months ago
@Cog
Oh stop being so brass. You know she's just trying to wind you up. You really are wired today.
I'm here all night, folks.
Molestia
#1179117
3 months ago
Not a chance. You're getting lucky tonight whether you like it or not, schmoopy.
Jackarunda
#1179119
3 months ago
@Dracon
CogWeaver
#1179121
3 months ago
...
Dracon, if I survive this, I will kill you so hard...


And in that case, Mol, this is counting as that IOU I gave you earlier
MaroonBunyip
#1179129
3 months ago
Draconequus
#1179132
3 months ago
@Cog
(running out of puns)
Wow Cog, you're starting to get really NUTty. You should just bolt out of her, unless you want Molestia to STEEL your virginity. I mean, she doesn't just want a casual SCREW, obviously.
Draconequus
#1179137
3 months ago
here*, not her.
Actually, no. I'll leave it like that.
Molestia
#1179144
3 months ago
Oh, you mean this IOU?
*teleports in IOU*
*examines*
*shoves up own ass*
Well then.

*walks off with CogWeaver, lathe and motor oil in tow*

G'night y'all :D
Draconequus
#1179153
3 months ago
NO, WAIT, I HAVE MORE PUNS.
Jackarunda
#1179156
3 months ago
Despite Dracon's best efforts, thread has NOT devolved into pundemonium. Thank God we have stopped this pundemic from spreading.
CogWeaver
#1179168
3 months ago
Well it's not like I was gonna escapement Mol's clutches anyway. Might as well just drill with it instead of sanding around like a lathe-y-marry...
MaroonBunyip
#1179177
3 months ago
oh Cog
you are so so bad at pretending you don't love this.
Draconequus
#1179183
3 months ago
@Maroon
Don't grind his gears now.

What's this? The pun has already been made?
Well, fuck you.
CogWeaver
#1179184
3 months ago
:P
Well maybe a machine's heart is an empty one, and I'll take what I can get.

...even if what I can get is a lust-driven goddess who'll disassemble me bolt by bolt just so she can find something to stick up her vag...
o__o;;
Yorec
#1179189
3 months ago
Oh just resign yourself to your fate Cog, it'll be easier that way. And besides, you may end up enjoying it in the end, they all do eventually.
Draconequus
#1179194
3 months ago
@Yorec
I agree.
Hell, it happened to me.
And I got a flask shoved up my vag.
Molestia
#1179205
3 months ago
@Yorec
"end up enjoying it in the end"

@Coggie
Oh yes, yes I will.
If you don't have a readily accessible COCK, I will disassemble you and find the single most intimate part of you and put it inside me. It'll happen.
And tomorrow morning, when you wake up, you may just find yourself with a new set of equipment. Massive, deluxe equipment. Consider it an early birthday present. A gift that will keep on giving to me. So it's more like a gift to me, honestly.
Yorec
#1179206
3 months ago
Man everyone's gotten molested at some point or another haven't they? And a flask? Really?
CogWeaver
#1179215
3 months ago
Well as long as she doesn't figure out what the lathe is actually for, I'm still safe.
Unless she decides to disassemble me, as I said before, so maybe it actually is if she knew what to do with the lathe...
guh, I'm at an impasse...
MaroonBunyip
#1179217
3 months ago
im still safe
bitches
Yorec
#1179221
3 months ago
Isn't a lathe used to cut metal?.....oh shit.
Jackarunda
#1179226
3 months ago
Or she'll disassemble you and stick all of you up her vag, piece by piece, until you are completely contained.
Wait, the fuck is wrong with me?
CogWeaver
#1179237
3 months ago
@Mol
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFdammit...

Sigh...fine...
The lathe... it... err...
it...

...it hooks up to me, releasing an uber-secret compartment not shown on my blueprints to release my genitals and turn them into a vibrator... and the oil's for making the copper pleasurable instead of feeling like you're shoving in a cactus or something...

*so-hard-of-a-blush-the-metal-on-face-is-actually-red-hot*
CogWeaver
#1179240
3 months ago
@Yorec
That's only if you attach a cutting tool to it. There's many other uses too...
Molestia
#1179242
3 months ago
@MyBelovedJackie

EXCELLENT IDEA



@MaroonBunny IP
You ain't stealin' the spotlight from CogWeaver tonight. Don't try.

@Yorec
Coggie's plothole could be a different shape methinks. A more accommodating shape.
MaroonBunyip
#1179244
3 months ago
thats fine
my eyes are still adjusting from the spotlight from everywhere else
Yorec
#1179245
3 months ago
Its okay Cog, just lie back and think of England.
CogWeaver
#1179250
3 months ago
@Mol
But I don't have a plo...OH.

@Yorec
ENGLAND!? HOW'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER!?
Yorec
#1179252
3 months ago
@Cog

I DON'T KNOW! JUST DO IT!!
MaroonBunyip
#1179256
3 months ago
trust us



let the english soothe you into being unhorney
they are the best in the world at it
Molestia
#1179258
3 months ago
@Cog#237

Oh holy hell.

YES.
CogWeaver
#1179272
3 months ago
Well I won't be thinking about the English, as boner-killing they may be. I think I'll just power down for the night.

Mol, if you hook up a hose to the chuck (the spinning end of the lathe) and the other end into this small slot on my side, it'll start up the special mechanism. Thing about being made of metal is that I don't technically ever finish, so...have fun I guess (unless you pour lots oil into my inner machinery, so the time it takes to collect and finally get forced out at the end is long enough). I better not come back on tomorrow and see any new equipment, though. I like my design the way it is, thank you.

Goodnight, all.
Gittonsxv
#1179277
3 months ago
this whole comment section and picture made me lol good god
Gentle_Coltte_of_Leisure
#1179373
3 months ago
Mmm... Sometimes it's nice to watch...
Jack-o-Lantern
#1179482
3 months ago
WHY DO I KEEP MISSING THIS!
ZePassionateOne
#1179694
3 months ago
Why did I have to sleep? Oh dear, I'm missing so much good stuff lately.
Molestia
#1181508
3 months ago
The next morning, CogWeaver woke up groggily. Motor oil was still dribbling lightly out of his mechanical anus. Molestia and the lathe were nowhere to be seen, though two of last night's lathe attachments were lying on the tile floor a few meters away, covered in oil and rectal brass shavings.

Coggie felt he had to take a piss, so he unsteadily got out of bed and wobbled over to the bathroom, falling down twice along the way.

He stood in front of the toilet, his view still swaying slightly in the early morning and unhitched his groin compartment only to have a massive mechanical dong uncoil and drop over the side of the toilet. A large pair of steel testicles made their appearance as well.

Sitting in her castle, staring out the window, Molestia snickered at the thought of what she had done, and glazed over at the memories of Cog's hard body.
Anonymous
#1183235
3 months ago
...WELL...that was...creative
Psychopomf
#1183245
3 months ago
...Whoa how did I miss THIS?



Oh Jack and Molestia being in cahoots! CAHOOTS!
CogWeaver
#1183281
3 months ago
Gosh dammit, Mol... I said to not make any changes to my design... I mean, since when to robots pee!?
Well there goes the rest of my weekend, gotta go remake my parts...
*checks his rear* Aw Luna DAMMIT, Mol!
*sigh...*
Psycho: I'm putting you on Mol duty for the rest of our appointed time from the IOU.
Have fun. (that's to both of you)