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Shaggy
#1128055
4 months ago
How dare you do this to Pinkie Pie I- Oh wait this is a fluffy pony that looks like Pinkie Pie. Who cares then.
Anonymous
#1128182
4 months ago
^>You hear someone knocking at the door
>You wonder who could be at this time of the night
>You open the door, and find your neighbor, together with a huge man in a black suit.
>Apparently the neighbor heard the screams.
>The huge man pushes aside, walks in
>He sees the carnage
>His eyes fill with tears
>He turns towards you, his face turning quickly purple with anger
>You hear him try to speak
>His "You motherf..." turns into a guttural snarl
>His eyes seems to glow red
>Your neighbor asks him to avoid noise, because it's late and tomorrow is a workday
>He grins mirthlessly, flexing his hands
>He assures your neighbor that he'll be very silent
>You turn and try to run, but a tiny man with glasses and a black suit that you didn't see blocks your way
>The tiny man hits you with an electrified cattle prod
>You drop like a lead weight
>The huge man grabs you
>You're pretty much screwed
>Next time, just return the pony
>Assuming that there is a next time, that is.
Shaggy
#1128244
4 months ago
^Returning fluffy ponies make them putdownable due to how over flowing they are in shelters and pounds anyway.
Anonymous
#1128259
4 months ago
@Shaggy Not on Bruno's shift, they aren't :)
Anonymous
#1128272
4 months ago
@ 182 And THAT'S why I love Bruno.
Shaggy
#1128276
4 months ago
But on the conservation status charts fluffy ponies are far above LC (least concern) breeders don't know what to classify them as. In shelters fluffy ponies are lucky to have walk space at that.
picard
#1128291
4 months ago
< How do I green text???
Anonymous
#1128314
4 months ago
>after several months you finally succeed in potty training your fluffy pony
> after a trip to the bathroom your fluffy pony runs to play with its blocks
> you notice that it spelled "they" with the letters on the sides
> you ask it to spell something else
> it successfully spells "tea"
> you take it to have an iq test
> it scores higher than any fluffy pony on record
> they tell you that it is capable of simple deductive reasoning
> your fluffy pony becomes known as the smartest fluffy pony in the world
>pony breeders are clamoring for samples of its sperm
>selling the sperm you become obscenely rich
> one night a party is held for you and your fluffy pony
> after the guests leave you pass out on the couch
> your fluffy pony tries to wake you saying "daddy! Gotta bafwoom! Fwuffy can't hold it!"
> finding this doesn't work, it spies a cork from a wine bottle laying on the floor
>the next morning you wake to a terrible smell
> you see you fluffy pony on the floor in a puddle of excrement and blood
> during the night its colon had ruptured,having been blocked by the cork
> feeling excruciating pain it removed the cork, spilling the contents of its bowel all over the floor.
>still alive and twitching with pain, you mop up the mess with your fluffy pony and toss it in the garbage
> with your copious money you buy one of the new, more intelligent breed of fluffy pony
Anonymous
#1128375
4 months ago
@314
>of course, after the fluffy pony is recovered and healed by the FPPA (they got VERY competent vets), Bruno shows up at your door and gives you a guided tour of the city with powerful kicks in the ass
>Your old fluffy pony asked Bruno to go easy on you
>Be thankful
Shaggy
#1128411
4 months ago
1128375 you write the best fan fics about peoples greentext. I wonder just how manly Bruno really is, get a taste of that delicious alabama blacksnake oo yeah.
Anonymous
#1128565
4 months ago
@259, 272, 375:
Oh noes, we've got PETArrorist here! Or Earth First! dyke?
Shaggy
#1128583
4 months ago
no 1128565, the FPPA are misguided fools who think they can save every fluffy pony on earth when it's common knowledge that there's a fluffy pony for every person. They'll exhaust there resources in a year or so assuming they're non profit, heck they couldn't strive even if Microsoft funded their efforts.
Anonymous
#1128931
4 months ago
@shaggy where resources? Jokes aside, everyone knows that the FPPA is funded by the Whatsit Foundation and the Mysterious Benefactor(tm)...
Anonymous
#1131699
4 months ago
FLUFFYABUSE 4 LYFE FUCK BRUNO
FUCK FLUFFY
Shaggy
#1132435
4 months ago
@1128931 So I'm guessing those companies have over 1000 times the funds of a company like Microsoft if the FPPA is somehow capable of keeping over 24,000,000,000 fluffy ponies safe?
Anonymous
#1132494
4 months ago
@shaggy Who knows? Rumors abound about them, but there is no substantial fact. Some wild rumors even say they work from Cybertron, Hogwarts or R'lyeh, or that they're both secretly Chuck Norris.
Shaggy
#1132535
4 months ago
1132494 Seams legit.
Anonymous
#1182980
3 months ago
I R ANNON. I LEIK FLUFFY PONY SO I SHALZ RUIN STORY WIF FAGGOT TALK OF BRUNO.
Anonymous
#1387031
2 months ago
Why do u all hate fluffy ponies?
Anonymous
#1410395
1 month ago
Anonymous
#1410405
1 month ago
Back to digging up two-month old fluffy pony-abuse stories.
Anonymous
#1410406
1 month ago
Bruno is occupied.
Anonymous
#1413615
1 month ago
^ image doesn't open,