Image
Comments
| Saint_Braeburn #1103731 4 months ago |
Poofie ponies are fluffy ponies with class |
| GoblinPony #1103741 4 months ago |
I love that thing I want it..... |
| gashunk #1103750 4 months ago |
@Saint_braeburn
but are they less prone to dying? |
| b4betty #1103778 4 months ago |
Im gonna assume thats wool and so its less prone to being set on fire! On a side note, ITS SO POOFIE!!! |
| ProfessorOfHoers #1103823 4 months ago |
Cute fluffuly pone. |
| Anonymous #1103833 4 months ago |
>Yesterday you had a real scare with fluffy pony
>She almost set herself on fire >Before that she almost drowned multiple times >You're supposed to keep her in what most fluffy pony owners call a "safety room," a room where every surface is padded. No furniture is kept in the safety room. >There is an alternative way to keep fluffy ponies from hurting themselves >The fluffy pony's four legs are amputated >Usually this procedure is done by a vet, but it is also very expensive. There are a number of guides on the internet to doing it yourself >Many people report the fluffy pony being completely fine afterwards, as long as the procedure is done quickly >You've made up your mind. Everything is prepared and ready to go >You call fluffy pony >She runs to you, smashing into a door frame on the way there with a little "oopsie" >You sigh a little. At least, after this, she wont be hurting herself anymore >You ask her she wants to play a game >She nods excitedly, saying she loves games more than anything, except you of course >You tell her the rules are to be a good pony and do whatever you tell her to >She nods >You have a wooden board with several leather straps on it >Fluffy pony is excited. She asks where the dice are (fluffy pony is accustomed to playing board games with dice and cards) >You tell her this game doesn’t have any dice. You tell her to lie down >She of course does so obediently. Fluffy pony would do anything for you >You fix the straps around her chest, stomach, legs, and forehead >You tickle her a little to calm her down >You pull out her favorite bandana - patterned with ducks and hearts- and blindfold her >She babbles to herself, wondering what you're going to do next, before you stuff the gag into her mouth >You grab the gardening shears and take a deep breath >You part her fluff and position the open blades over her right foreleg, angling them to sever the entire leg and the bone >You brace yourself, and close the shears with all your might >Fluffy pony tries to scream, but the gag blocks most of the noise >You can already see tears staining the blindfold >She's thrashing against the leather straps >The shears hit the bone where it turns into the socket >It takes a few seconds of pushing, but soon the bone cracks and the leg is severed >It lies limply on the board, still held by the leather strap >You're trying to shush fluffy pony, telling her everything will be okay as you line up with her second leg. Then the third. Then the fourth. >The floor is covered in blood >It was excruciating, but it's for her own good >Now for part two >You take out the electrical probe and place the heat conductor to the wounds >You try to block out the wails of pain coming through the gag as you cauterize the wounds >The screams stop stops >Fluffy pony has passed out >You finish sealing off the wounds and apply a disinfectant >You tenderly bandage her and place her in her new home: a large salad bowl >Two weeks go by >Fluffy pony hasn’t come back from the experience >She's is beyond depressed. She cries all the time, asking you where her legs are >You had to drill a drainage hole in her bowl so she didnt drown in tears >She doesn’t seem to remember that you were the one that did it >The word "games" sets her on edge >You have to force food down her throat to get her to eat >One day you found her outside the bowl >She had tipped herself out >She was wiggling around on the ground >Fluffy pony was crying, scream "WHY NO RUN. WHY NO RUN." >You pick her up and hold her to your chest >The muscles in her shoulders are furiously contacting, trying to move the legs that are no longer there >You make calming noises and tell her everything is going to be all right >Her tears are hot against your shoulder >Her body conforms against you >She's trying to give you a hug >Fluffy pony still loves you >That doesn’t make it any easier when she screams in the night >She's still asking where her legs are >You told her they're gone now, relying on her terrible brain power to accept that >It didn’t work >You settled for telling her that her legs went on vacation >She stares at the door, waiting for them to come back >Whenever you walk by, she asks you when she's going to get to walk again >You try to distract her >You'll cuddle with her, or pick her up and hold her above your head, telling her she's an airplane >She's always happy when you do this, but the moment you stop, her eyes glaze over and she goes into a sort of shell >It didn’t help when she saw her favorite ball >Her bowl was on the kitchen counter at the time >She tried to get to it to play the ball game with you >It was always her favorite game >She flipped out of the bowl like a wiggling burrito, hit the edge of the table and fell to the ground >She was wiggling on the ground like a frantic worm, saying "BALL" over and over >She slowly realized she wasn’t getting anywhere >Then the tears came again >That night you put two strips of fabric in a X shape over the top of the bowl so she couldn’t jump out >You asked her if she liked the bowl >She only mournfully said "How time till leggies?" >You cant take it anymore. >You went to Steve's house and borrowed his switch operated battery and alligator clips >You've done this before, you know the procedure >You just need a new point of contact >You walk over to fluffy pony, setting the battery behind the bowl so she doesn’t see it >You tell her to open wide like a good girl >You hook the alligator clips to the sides of her mouth >You tell her to hold still >You give her a painful shock, letting the current flow through her for a good minute >You cut the current >Fluffy pony's pupils are pinpricks >She's stuttering >Now's your window of opportunity. While her mind is in flux >You tell her that her bowl is her home. It has always been her home. She loves her bowl more than anything and she wants to stay in it all the time >Fluffy pony is catatonic >Later, fluffy pony remembers nothing of the incident >She's her usual clipper self, constantly babbling and talking to herself >Once again she loves you unconditionally. Especially when you take her out of her bowl to cuddle with her. >She's like one of those cylindrical pillows >When you come home from work she loves to lay in your lap while you feel her food >As far as you can tell, she doesn’t ever remember having legs >You just have to make sure she never sees another fluffy pony, or else it might trigger her memory |
| PonyRIG #1103841 4 months ago |
TL;DR |
| Gentle_Coltte_of_Leisure #1103846 4 months ago |
I'm gonna jam a friendship up your plothole anon. |
| Mezzo #1103848 4 months ago |
It's also depressing, PonyRIG. |
| Saint_Braeburn #1103984 4 months ago |
@Mezzo
Here is a funny one to cheer you up >soviet Russia >KGB are making door to door stops to check for traitor capitalists >they come to your home >you are reading Marx like a good citizen >they inquire about your fluffy pony >you say she is in her play pen, reading Marx like a good communist pony >you lead them to her >fluffy pony is in her crib, gazing up at you and babbling happily >fluffy pony’s copy of Marx is ripped up >she was eating it >her treachery breaks your heart >the KGB put black sack over fluffy pony’s head >fluffy pony thinks it’s a game >fluffy pony is taken out into cold Russian snow >KGB execute fluffy pony >long live mother Russia ............Well I found it funny. |
| Mezzo #1104172 4 months ago |
Saint_braeburn, you are sick. |
| Gentle_Coltte_of_Leisure #1104193 4 months ago |
Okay, that story might not have cheered Mezzo up, but his little exchange with Braeburn made me chuckle. |
| Mezzo #1104258 4 months ago |
You're not helping, GCoL. |
| Jackarunda #1104277 4 months ago |
That was the most depressing fucking thing I ever read
why did I read it |
| Anonymous #1104384 4 months ago |
where did fluffy ponies being clumsy come from? |
| Saint_Braeburn #1104394 4 months ago |
@Jackarunda
Are you talking about my story or Anon833s'? Also here is a better story >Take a friend up on the idea of fluffy pony ownership. >They are apparently a dime a dozen and you find one that seems to take a liking to you fine enough. >Get her home and set her in the living room. >She starts exploring the house, checking on everything. >Check some online guides on ownership of Fluffy ponies. >Get nothing but horror stories. >Hear shower kick on. >Panic. >Rush into bathroom to find fluffy pony in the shower. >She is playing joyfully in the water. >Realize the internet is bullshit. Happy now Mezzo |
| Edudl2 #1104538 4 months ago |
Saint_Braeburn, you forgot the end.
>Start to walk out away from the shower >Slip on a puddle of water form fluffy pony's playful splashing >Fall backwards, landing on fluffy pony. >Fluffy pony is killed instantly, and the impact of your spine against her mass has left you a paraplegic for the rest of your life. A cruel testament to the dangers of owning a fluffy pony. |
| Mezzo #1104634 4 months ago |
Edudle2, you are sick. |
| Saint_Braeburn #1104747 4 months ago |
Dammit now I feel depressed. |
| Anonymous #1106024 4 months ago |
Here's a nice uplifting story about fluffy ponies:
>You walk down the street, humming happily >You see a man kicking a cardboard box >Look inside >There's a tiny fluffy pony, looking hungry, dirty and scared >You point out to man that he is doing the stupid, and is not credit to team >Man tells you that you are stupid bald head, and mind your business >Man says that fluffy pony is stupid too, and fun to hurt >Man just made a big mistake >Later, you brush your new fluffy pony pet >Pony is asleep, clean, fed and happy, wearing new collar with tag >Pony doesn't know, but tag says "Mascot of RED team" >Man is asleep and clean too, at Teufort General Hospital >Not very happy, though |
| Van_Horsing #1106261 4 months ago |
Normally I like Fluffy Pony pics, but there's something... Not cute about this one. IDK what. |
| Anonymous #1108147 4 months ago |
Surprised this hasn't been said.
SHE'S SO FLUFFY! |
| Anonymous #1114655 4 months ago |
Van: It doesn't look huggably soft, is the problem. It just looks lumpy. |
| Anonymous #1272026 2 months ago |
Fluffy puff was the fluffiest of all fluffy ponies and loved the extra attention that got her. She also hated when her owner needed to shave her underside so the piss and shit could escape.
"No wike buzz buzz it take fwuff fwuffy puff wuv fwuff get wots of huggies." One day on her way to the living room to sit on the window cill and wait for her owner to come home she saw something on the rug. Daddy had eatten a hot pepper sandwich for dinner last night and not given her any saying it was not for ponies. Fluffy puff saw a bit of that sandwich on the rug daddy must have dropped it. "Ooo wan dat I big fwuffy I eat what I wan " She reached down and ate the hot pepper. A moment later she was running in ciircles her mouth on fire. "Moff ouchie ouchie why huwt fwuffy puff I speciaw fwuffy no hwurt speciaw fwuffy wife mos fwuff." After a few minutes she remembered her pony safe waterbottle in the kitchen and ran for it with all the speed her tiny hooves could muster. She drank and drank until her mouth wasn't ouchie anymore. "Dat good tan you wawa bowwtwe I wuv u fo save mofies." The her stomach began reacting to the spicy food. "Oooo need witta box!" Again she ran at full spead only this time she tripped over her own fluff and rolled onto her back. "Oh noe need up need witta box !" She lost control of her bowels and disgusting pony crap fired into the air raining down all over the helpless fluffy puff. "Oooo daddy be mad no smell pwetty fwuffy no wike dis" An hour later her owner found her covered in dried crap sobbing her eyes out babbling. "Foofoo meanie fwuffypuff speciaw fwuffy no do dis! Tummy huwt pone tinky all toys no smell pwetty. Daddy gif foodie sowwy stick fo be meanie to speciaw pwize winning fwuffypuff!" He picked her up without a word and carried her to the bathroom. "Waaaa daddy dis no fwuffy fauwt foodie make fwuffy do it sowwy no pwnish wif no teevee an sowwy stick!" He shaved her bauld and stuck her in her carrier shivering as he clwaned up the mess and then moved her to the safe room. Fluffy puff wouldn't be fluffy again for a long time. |