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kuren18
#1098003
4 months ago
And now it's time for Bum Reviews with Chester A. Bum

Tonight's Review: My Little Pony: Putting Your Hoof Down.

OOOOOOOH MY GOD THIS IS THE GREATEST EPISODE I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE!

My Little SPOILERS!

There's this pony, named Fluttershy!

And she's a -total- pushover!

So her friends Rarity and Pinkie Pie go and try to help her become more assertive!

Funny, I thought Rainbow Dash already tried that...

Guess she's a bad motivational pony...

But I digress.

So Rarity tries to show her to be assertive by convincing this nerdy pony to give something back by being slutty!

-slap-

I mean... seductive?

-slap-

Fine! By being "Persuasive!"

-ding-

And Pinkie Pie shows Fluttershy to be assertive by pulling a Bugs Bunny!

Two bits!

One bit!

Two bits!

One bit!

Two bits!

Two bits!

One bit!

You win.

-cha ching-

-I- pulled a Bugs Bunny on somepony once!

It got me two quarters instead of just one!

I was so happy, I did it ten more times so I could buy a My Little Pony doll,

And smoke it in the warm safety of my box!

So Fluttershy tries those things on a shopkeeper who tries to overcharge her for a cherry!

But, it doesn't work because she does it wrong.

So then she goes home, where she gets pushed around by her pet bunny!

I think I now know why Fluttershy is everypony's favorite pony!

It's because you can get her to do just about anything!

It's like in this fanfic I just got done writing where I ask her to marry me, and she's just like:

"Um, whatever you want to do is fine, Mr. Bum."

See? -Totally- canon!

But then Fluttershy hears that there's this assertiveness speaker coming to town!

Who's basically Mr. T,

...if he sold his soul to the Devil.

Seriously, he looks like the bouncer from Satan's dance club!

So he uses Fluttershy to be an example for how his techniques work!

And they seem to work wonders for her!

Hooray!

So then Fluttershy goes about her day and asserts herself!

And everything seems to be fine until Fluttershy catches and spreads a terrible disease!

The disease of referring to yourself in third person!

Seriously, did Trixie come in and say:

"Trixie wants to show those ponies that she still doesn't like them, so Trixie will make them all talk like Trixie!"

-insert evil Trixie laugh here-

First it's Fluttershy, then Pinkie Pie and Rarity start doing it, too!

But then the next day, her friends come across Fluttershy being mean to a pony who wasn't taking advantage of her!

And they're like:

"Dude, chill out."

And Fluttershy is like:

"Piss off!"

And then she goes on and insults them so harshly that both Pinkie Pie and Rarity run away crying!

So Fluttershy looks at her reflection in a puddle and realizes that she's turned into a monster!

And then she does the sad Hulk walk back to her cottage!

"Hulk no like what Hulk become..." -sniff-

So she locks herself in her cottage so that nopony will be hurt by her again!

But then it turns out that Mr. T hasn't gotten paid by Fluttershy for his lessons in assertiveness!

And he's like:

"I pity the fool who doesn't give me my money!"

But Fluttershy is like:

"No."

And Mr. T is like:

"Now I -really- pity the fool!"

But then Fluttershy becomes politely assertive and says that he guaranteed that if she wasn't satisfied, she wouldn't have to pay!

So Mr. T is taken aback, and say:

"Oh, OK."

Hooray!

So Rarity and Pinkie Pie are really proud of Fluttershy!

And Fluttershy writes a letter to Princess Celestia saying that you can assert yourself without being mean!

The End!

So I really liked this episode!

It taught me that I need to be politely assertive so I can get more change!

This is Chester A. Bum saying:

Oh, my, you handsome brony... surely a... handsome brony like yourself would be able to spare a few bits for a poor soul like me...

Come on, I promise I'll use it to take Fluttershy's assertiveness seminars! I can't just go and ask Fluttershy to marry me, anymore after this episode!
Anchors
#1098010
4 months ago
BEHOLD, THE GREAT WALL OF TEXT. NOT EVEN THE ROVING BANDS OF MONGOLIAN TROLLS CAN OVERCOME IT!
DNCSquared
#1098025
4 months ago
As usual, you did a fine ass job!
Anonymous
#1098155
4 months ago
Anchor you wanker, the wall is the point.
Anonymous
#1098177
4 months ago
You made me lol, kind sir. Here, have some change.
Psychopomf
#1098617
4 months ago
Ahh. Yet another good parts of there being a new episode. Bravo. You got a chuckle *tosses a bit*
picard
#1099076
4 months ago
Dude, wrong medium. If you review pony episodes in text form, you have to adapt to the medium. This kind of review doesn't work in text form. But hey, there are always YouTube, Blip and so on.
Green_LED
#1099840
4 months ago
^Nah, I'd much rather read this than sit through some half-assed animation. Though just an audio could work if the voice is any good.
Step-chan
#1100933
4 months ago
Thumbs up man!