Blotter updated: 06/17/12Show/Hide Show All

Image

Tag History
(edit info)
Rating

Prev | Index | Next

Comments

Jackarunda
#993420
5 months ago
wow is it just me or is it adorable in here
CogWeaver
#993421
5 months ago
Wait a second...now that I think of it, both of their mane and tail designs are fairly similar...

B'WOAHSNAP! MR. APPLE HAD AN AFFAIR WITH CHEERILEE BEFORE HE DIED AND SHE GAVE BIRTH TO APPLEBLOOM BUT GAVE HER TO THE APPLES TO HIDE HER SHAME AND...AND...and...uh...

...

okay, that was a terrible idea, nvm
Draconequus
#993429
5 months ago
AND THEN, SINCE SHE HAD UNRESOLVED FEELINGS FOR HIS FATHER, SHE LATCHED ONTO BIG MAC FOR GUIDANCE AND THEN THEY WENT ON INSANE ADVENTURES AND THEY BLEW UP BUILDINGS... AND-AND THEY MADE CLONES OF SEAN CONNERY...

GOOD GOD I NEED TO LIE DOWN.
CogWeaver
#993432
5 months ago
^OH MAH GOODNESS SOMEONE GO MAKE THIS A FIC

NOW.

Draconequus
#993436
5 months ago
FUCK FICS.

MOVIE RIGHTS ARE A GO.

Psychopomf
#993437
5 months ago
AND THIS IS WHY MY SHIPPING OF APPLEBLOOM AND CHEERILEE IS CANON BECAUE WHEN THEY GET OLDER THEY...THEY...

Ugh..I can't...I can't even stretch that far... its like physically exhausting me
Jackarunda
#993440
5 months ago
CogWeaver: Oh, a cute pictuLET'S DERAIL THIS SHIT, DRACON WITH ME GO
Draconequus
#993441
5 months ago
NO, PSYCHO, WE ARE WORKING WITH THAT.
IT'S CANON BECAUSE BIG MAC WAS PUT IN HOSPITAL AFTER WRESTLING TWO HUNDRED SHARKS, SO APPLE BLOOM COMFORTS HER AND THEY FALL FOR EACH OTHER, BUT CHEERILEE KNOWS THAT SHE IS HER DAUGHTER, AND APPLE BLOOM FINDS THIS OUT THE HARD WAY SO SHE HIRES SCOOTALOO TO KILL HER MOTHER.
Jackarunda
#993445
5 months ago
^ Hey when you're done with that LSD I want some
CogWeaver
#993446
5 months ago
^ XD
You know that's EXACTLY how it happened, lol
Draconequus
#993447
5 months ago
Jack, YOU CAN'T STOP ME.
*gets violently dragged away in a straitjacket*
CogWeaver
#993448
5 months ago
*@3440
OHMURR
#993462
5 months ago
what the fuck just happened here
Jackarunda
#993463
5 months ago
Who said I wanted to stop you? Insane people amuse me.
CogWeaver
#993466
5 months ago
AND THEN SCOOTALOO HIRES AN ARMY OF NINJA-BEAR-WIZARDS TO HELP HER IN HER CAUSE TO KILL CHEERILEE, BUT JUST WHEN THE FINAL BLOW IS ABOUT TO BE STRUCK, BIG MAC COMES BURSTING IN WITH A SMARTYPANTS DOLL ON HIS BACK. AS HE DOES SO, HE LETS OUT A VAST "EEEEEENOPE!" THAT SPREADS THROUGHOUT THE WHOLE METAVERSE, MAKING LORD ENGLISH, GOD, FAUST, AND BOO RADLEY LET OUT A SIMULTANEOUS "W-T-F!?"
Psychopomf
#993468
5 months ago
AND SCOOTALOO HARBORS SECRET THOUGHTS OF REVENGE BECAUSE HER BEST FRIEND WAS A CHICKEN ON THE APPLE FAMILY'S FARM WHOM WAS ABUSED FOR HER EGGS AND MADE INTO STEW

SO SECRETLY, SCOOTALOO YEARNS TO DESTROY THE WHOLE APPLE FAMILY

THERE IS ONLY ONE WOMAN WHOM CAN STOP HER BLOODLUST BEFORE ITS TOO LATE...
marioandsonic
#993471
5 months ago

I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT!!!

ZePassionateOne
#993473
5 months ago
AND THAT WOMAN IS NONE OTHER THAN XENA, THE WARRIOR PRINCES! AND AS SHE SCREAMS "AYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY", SHE PREPARES TO FIGHT THE EVIL CHICKEN! OH GOD! THE CHICKEN!

SHE THEN SUMMONS THE POWER OF SEAN CONNORY, USING THE PRIZE! AND THEN SHE ASS HER IN THE FUCK!
Draconequus
#993476
5 months ago
AND THEN THEY HAVE A PASSIONATE MAKE OUT SESSION UNTIL APPLEJACK COMES IN AND WITH THE AID OF OPTIMUS PRIME, SUCCEEDS IN THROWING BIG MAC INTO THE SEVENTH LAYER OF HELL.
CHEERILEE THEN GOES ON AN EPIC QUEST WITH SMOKEY THE BEAR, HARRY MASON AND PINKIE PIE TO RETREIVE HER LOVE, BUT WILL SHE SUCCEED? AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, CAN APPLE BLOOM EVER GET OVER HER AFFAIR WITH HER MOTHER?!

My Little Pony, My Little Pony, ah ah ah aaaah~
Jackarunda
#993492
5 months ago
THEN IT GREW EVEN DARKER AND THE BLACKEST OF BLACK HOLES APPEARED IN THE GROUND. EVIL MONKEYS POURED FROM THE UNDERWORLD, AND BEGAN BEATING OFF AND THROWING DIRTY SHIT GRENADES IN EVERY DIRECTION. AND ZOMBIES BRANDISHING RUSTY RAZOR-SHARP BLACK METAL SCYTHED DILDOS SHARPENED ON THE DICKS OF CHRISTIAN CHILDREN AND WITH HEADS FILLED WITH EXPLOSIVE CUM LEAPT ON ALL THE PONIES AND VIOLENTLY STABBED AND SODOMIZED THEM ALL, TEARING UP EVERY ANAL CAVITY WITH THEIR SPECIALLY HOMEMADE RECTAL-RIPPING SEX TOYS THEN BURST WITH THE FORCE OF A THOUSAND SUNS, BLOWING THE PONIES TO BITS, LEAVING BEHIND A CRIMSON CLOUD OF BONES, BLOOD AND DEMONIC SPERM. THEN MORE THAN A HUNDRED VERY SPECIAL RETARDED TYRANNOSOROUS REXES WITH MASSIVE ASPERGERS AND DOWN SYNDROME STARTED RAMPAGING AROUND THE PLACE, AND BREATHING WITH THEIR MOUTHS OPEN. BIG MACINTOSH DID NOT APPROVE OF IT. AT ALL. "I'M BIG MACINTOSH AND YOU'RE A HUGE TARD," HE SAID.

AND THEN EVERYTHING EXPLODED. AND EVERYTHING... WAS GONE.
CogWeaver
#993496
5 months ago

For everyone wondering what just happened here...



I think I can explain in SONG
marioandsonic
#993497
5 months ago
I fucking love you guys so damn much.
Jackarunda
#993501
5 months ago
and yes that's from dirty the pooh. I'm not creative.
ZePassionateOne
#993516
5 months ago
BUT THEN, THE CHICKEN REVIVES AND USES THE LEGENDARY CLOTH OF PEGASUS! AND AS SHE YELLS "LEND ME YOUR STRENGHT, PEGASUS!", SHE RIPS APART OF XENA, THE AYAYAYAYAYAY PRINCESS! AND THEN..ah...ahhh...ehhmmm...hold on a sec *inyects more LSD*.

Hhmmmm! That's good deraling...

AND THEN TOM BAKER CAME OUTTA NOWHERE AND SAID "BITCH, I'M TOM BAKER, I'MMA KILL YA WITH MAH SCARF AND JELLY BABIES!"

"NO! NOT JELLY BABIES" SAID THE CHICKEN, AS SHE TRIES TO RUN AWAY!
Jackarunda
#993525
5 months ago
BUT THEN, JUST AT THE MOMENT WEN HE WAS AbOUT TO FINISH HIS STORY, ZPO SUDDENLY SUCCAME TO A HEART ATTACK CAUSED BY TOO MUCH PONY.

DRACON TOOK HIS PLACE, EVEN GOING SO FAR AS TO STRIP HIM AND WEAR HIS CLOTHES. SHE THEN BLASTED OFF LIKE AN AUTISTIC TOASTER OVEN HIGH INTO THE ATMOSPHERE, WHERE SHE MET A PONY WITH SIX LEGS, PURPLE POLKA DOTTED MANE AND SHOOTIN STARS COMIN OUT OF HIS EYES.
Jackarunda
#993527
5 months ago
WHO, AT THAT VERY MOMENT, WAS GOING ALL AROUND THE WORLD TO HIDE MAGIC SPARKLY EGGS.

SHE OFFERED TO HELP HIM IN HIS TASK, BUT HE REFUSED BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH SWAG.
Draconequus
#993532
5 months ago
WITHOUT WARNING, CHEERILEE TURNS INTO THE HULK AND BEGINS RIPPING EYEBALLS OUT OF PONIES HEADS SCREAMING. "WHERE'S MY BABY, I NEED MY BABY." IN HER VIOLENT RAGE, SHE YANKS OUT THE EYES OF THE MICHELIN MAN WHO RUNS AROUND FOR TWELVETEEN MINUTES SCREAMING.
CHEERILEE, NOTICING THE ERROR OF HER WAYS, RUSHES OVER TO HIM AND YELLS "WHY GOD, WHY WASN'T IT ME? I LOVED HIM LIKE A BROTHER!"
SHE THEN PROCEEDS TO CALL UPON THE TELETUBBIES AND SNAPE TO SEGWAY INTO THE STORY AND HAVE A DISGUSTING ORGY.
BUT BEFORE THEY CAN BEGIN, TWILIGHT SPARKLE, DRESSED AS PYRAMID HEAD, THROWS A KNIFE THAT LODGES INTO CHEERILEE'S FLANK. APPLE BLOOM, SENSING HER MOTHERS ANGUISH, FLIES INTO SPACE TO COMMANDEER THE HELP OF GIRLS ALOUD AND THE BACKSTREET BOYS.
Jackarunda
#993550
5 months ago
UNFORTUNATELY, THE BACKSTREET BOYS HAD ALREADY MOVED TO ANOTHER PLANET TO AID IN THE UPRISING AGAINST ITS DICTATORSHIP GOVERNMENT, AND WERE UNABLE TO ASSIST APPLEBLOOM IN HER MOTHERS AVENGEMENT. SO APPLEBLOOM TOOK MATTERS INTO HER OWN HOOVES AND ENLISTED THE SUPPORT OF THE 158TH CORPS BATTALION OF THE NATIONAL GUARD AND THEIR SPECIALLY MADE 120MM PONY-EYEBALL-OUTRIPPERER DEVICE.
Jackarunda
#993562
5 months ago
MEANWHILE DRACONEQUUS WAS BUSY FLYING THROUGH SPACE LIKE A PALSY-SYNDROM'D FOOD PROCESSOR, SEARCHING FOR A PLANET TO MAKE HER OWN SO THAT HUMANITY WOULD NOT BE LOST. SHE CAME TO A PLANET POPULATED ENTIRELY BY MEATBALLS. AND COGWEAVER. SHE ATE ALL THE MEATBALLS IN AN HOUR. SHE DID NOT EAT COGWEAVER, FOR HE DID NOT TASTE OF MEATBALL. THEY BEGAN SETTING UP A NEW CIVILIZATION WHERE IT WAS ILLEGAL TO WEAR SOCKS.
Draconequus
#993581
5 months ago
BLAAAASSSSPHHEEEEMMMMYYYY!
SOCKS KEEP YOUR FEET WARM.

DRACONEQUUS THEN PROCEEDED TO TURN ALL OF THE RIVER OF HER NEW PLANET INTO NUTELLA AND TURNED EVERYONE WHO TRIED TO EAT IT INTO VARIOUS DIFFERENT TOADSTOOLS.
SHE THEN DECIDED TO NAME IT FUZZYHANDCUFFONYOU AND MADE IT A SAFE HAVEN FOR ALL CREATURES.

MEANWHILE, CHEERILEE HAD A VERY DIFFICULT TIME GETTING THE SWORD OUT OF EHR FLANK, SO SHE ENLISTED THE HELP OF THE MARSHMELLOW PEOPLE, WHO DECIDED TO MAKE HER THE DEITY AND AMBROSIA OF LIFE OF MARSHMALLOWVILLE. CHEERILEE GAVE BIRTH TO MANY MARSHMALLOWS ON A DAILT BASIS, THEN SHE GOT BORED AND BEGAN TO TURN THE WORLD INTO A GIANT DILDO.
Psychopomf
#993589
5 months ago
CogWeaver
#993593
5 months ago
MEANWHILE, COGWEAVER REINSTATED THE ANTI-SOCK POLICY, BUT WHILE DOING SO DECREED THAT ALL THE CITIES IN THE WORLDS NOW BE MADE OF BLANKET FORTS, AND PAJAMAS MUST BE WORN BY ALL CITIZENS OR ELSE THEY WOULD FAIL THEIR 4TH GRADE CLASS, EVEN IF DOING SO REQUIRED TIME TRAVEL.
JACKARUNDA WAS THEN ALL "FUCK THIS SHIT" AND BLEW UP FLUFFYTOWN, THE HOME OF THE BIGGEST PILLOW AND BLANKET FORT AND THE FUZZIEST PONIES AROUND.
Anonymous
#993602
5 months ago
AND THAT IS THE FIRST CHAPTER.
TUNE IN NEXT TIME FOR THE ALICORN LOVE CHILD OF ALL OF THE MANE SIX ENTERING A BOXING TOURNAMENT AGAINST CYBORG DINOSAUR ROCKY-BALBOA
ZePassionateOne
#993608
5 months ago
AND THEN DACONEQUUS SAID "I LIKE SEX BUTT....I LIKE SEX BUTT!" BECAUSE SAYING SEX BUTT IS HILARIOUS!
Jackarunda
#993610
5 months ago
BACK IN EQUESTRIA:
AND THAT'S HOW EQUESTRIA WAS MADE (INTO AN ENORMOUS PHALLIC SEX TOY, WHICH WAS THEN USED TO AN ALARMING DEGREE BY THE MARSHMALLOW GODDESS CHEERILEE.)

BACK ON FUZZYHANDCUFFONYOU, JACKARUNDA, AFTER HAVING BLOWN UP THE FUZZY TOWN ON ANOTHER PLANET, SHOWED UP WEARING KNEE-HIGH LACY TUBE SOCKS

ON HIS EARS

WHICH NEARLY JACKARUNDA'D EVERYTHING UP FOR THE NEW CIVILIZATION. SO DRACON ORDERED COGWEAVER TO KILL HIM, AND HE DID. WITH A SPOON MADE OF PHOSPHORUS. IT TOOK 40 YEARS AND 40 NIGHTS, AND WAS KNOWN AS THE GREAT SPOON HIT OF 2098. THEN ZPO CAME BACK TO LIFE AND FLEW TO FUZZYHANDCOFFONYOU AT 1.38 TIMES THE SPEED OF LIGHT, THUS VIOLATING BASIC CAUSE AND EFFECT, ALLOWING HIM TO CHRONOLOGICALLY SKIP HIS DEATH AND COME BACK TO LIFE AND FLY TO FUZZYHANDCUFFONYOU AT 1.38 TIMES THE SPEED OF LIGHT.

WHEN HE ARRIVED, HE WAS GREETED WITH GREAT FANFARE AND THE THROWING OF UNDERGARMENTS. HE WAS ALSO GIVEN THE CUSTOMARY SOAK IN NUTELLA AND ALLOWED TO CHOOSE ANY MARE HE WANTED TO BE HIS COMPANION FOR A DAY.
CogWeaver
#993635
5 months ago
*MEANWHILE, IN A 20 UNIVERSE RADIUS OF THESE EVENTS*

GOD'S HEAD EXPLODING!

FAUST FALLING IN LESBAINS FOR SUBWAY SANDWICHES!
(I'm so sorry for that bit there...)


IT WAS AMAZING!



THE END.

CogWeaver
#993639
5 months ago
...

Okay, let's compile all of this into a GDocs file and send it over to Seth pronto!
Spiderses Act II is a go!
Draconequus
#993643
5 months ago
Sethisto is going to haaaateee us so much.
But it is so worth it.
Jackarunda
#993645
5 months ago
BUT COGWEAVER WAS DISILLUSIONED. WHAT HE THOUGHT WAS THE END WAS IN FACT MERELY THE END OF HAPPY HOUR AT THE LOCAL NUTELLA BAR.

ZPO CHOSE HIS COMPANION, A PEGASUS MARE BY THE NAME OF FLURPSIE DINNER THE SECOND. HE THEN LED HER INTO A CRACKER CASTLE ON THE OUTSKIRTS OF THE TOWN WHERE THEY ENGAGED IN A GLORIOUS SEX ACT INVOLVING HOSES, RUBBER BANDS, MARBLES, BOYSENBERRY SYRUP, RUBBER GLOVES AND APPREHENSION. AFTERWARDS, ZPO WAS STANDING AT THE ENTRANCE OF THE GREAT DRACONEQUUS CASTLE IN THE CAPITAL, ANXIOUSLY WONDERING WHAT QUEEN DRACON WOULD THINK OF HIS NEW PONY COMPANION. UPON HEARING THAT ZPO LIKED PONIES, SHE LABELED HIM A PONYFAG AND EXILED HIM TO 2 MONTHS IN A DUNGEON IN THE CORE OF THE PLANET WITH MOLESTIA, 120,000 KILOGRAMS OF V1AGRA AND 120,000 LITERS OF LUBE..

NEEDLESS TO SAY, FLURPSIE WAS GREATLY DISTRESSED, SO SHE APPEALED TO DRACON TO RELEASE HIM, BUT TO NO AVAIL. SO SHE SMACKED DRACON IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD WITH A POPSICLE, WHICH STARTLED HER AND CAUSED HER TO SNAP OUT OF HER POWER-INDUCED TRANCE. BOTH THEN WENT TO RETREIVE ZPO, BUT HE WAS ALREADY GONE, NOT TO BE SEEN FOR ANOTHER 2 MONTHS.
Jackarunda
#993648
5 months ago
I'm sorry. I'm done. Just... like put mine in before the end or something. If you want to. Lol.
Psychopomf
#993650
5 months ago
Hey guys. That's a pretty good story.

Thought of a title for it?
Molestia
#993651
5 months ago

NO NO don't stop, it was just getting really really good!!!

Draconequus
#993654
5 months ago
Twilight.
CogWeaver
#993656
5 months ago
Molestia,

LOL

CogWeaver
#993671
5 months ago
How about
"Captain Hook, the Biker Gorilla 2: Revenge of the Rainbolians"?
Jackarunda
#993672
5 months ago
I'm really really actually supposed to be writing for my composition class right now. It's 00:37 and if I don't get this done by tomorrow I'm fucked. Lol.
Draconequus
#993675
5 months ago
^ I like it.
Is anyone actually pasting this on a google doc?
Molestia
#993683
5 months ago
I especially liked the part where I get to make sweet hot sticky lovins with ZePassionateOne for an extended period of time in a secluded place. Um.
CogWeaver
#993707
5 months ago

BEHOLD! THE GREATEST STORY EVER TOLD!

Draconequus
#993717
5 months ago

AND NOW, TO SETH.

Molestia
#993733
5 months ago
I saved that in a document so hard. I'm putting it in the fiction folder where I put all the great pony literature. I'd say I love you guys, but that's completely obvious by now.
Takino
#993736
5 months ago
Someone get FimFlamFilosophy and Petirep on this NOW.
Anonymous
#993742
5 months ago
Dear princess Molestia: AND THEN SHE ASS HER IN THE FUCK!
from applebloom
Anonymous
#994426
5 months ago
And that's how Equestria was made!
ZePassionateOne
#994580
5 months ago
WHY DOES EVERYONE WANT TO FUCK ME LATELY?!

But seriously, this is amazing and me laugh so hard.
Takashi_0
#995146
5 months ago
Anonymous
#996167
5 months ago
All of this from an Applebloom palette swap...

Have I ever told you how much I love you guys? (yes, just now)
FluffZilla
#1000425
5 months ago
this should be featured.
TheShrubberyDemander
#1002639
5 months ago
This is the best thread ever.
TheShrubberyDemander
#1002682
5 months ago
Seriously, you guys. This is fucking amazing.
Dsoff
#1126778
4 months ago
Holy shit guys, this thread is amazing.
Ping_chan
#1266765
3 months ago
I enjoyed reading this clopfic, and I look forward to more.
mindcannon
#1266794
3 months ago
Ill read this later.