Image
Comments
| kuren18 #936503 5 months ago |
And now it's time for Bum Reviews with Chester A. Bum.
Tonight's review: My Little Pony: The Super Speedy spider, I mean... fuck it, the episode about the cider machine! OOOOOOOH MY GOD THIS IS THE GREATEST EPISODE I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE! My Little SPOILERS! There's this pony, named Rainbow Dash! And she's determined to be the first in line for Applejack's cider! But it turns out that every year, Pinkie Pie always gets to the front of the line first, and Rainbow Dash never gets any because she's so far back in line! So she tries to go really early in the morning with Fluttershy! But it turns out that Pinkie Pie and everypony else in Ponyville camped out the night before! So the Apple Family serves cider for the day, but runs out right before Rainbow Dash can get any! So all the ponies are like: "Why can't you ever have enough for all of us?" "Well, we're trying!" "God Damn it!" And Rainbow Dash even cries! "Why is it so mean? WAAAAAAAHHH" But then this big train machine comes into town! And it's run by two unicorn brothers who promise to make enough cider for the entire town! So they first offer to let the Apple Family run the machine, while splitting the profits so the brothers get most of it! And the Apples are like: "Piss off, this is our town!" And so the brothers are like: "Well, since you're not taking our unreasonable offer, we'll compete with you and run you out of business!" But right before the Apple Family go to get their pitchforks and guns, Apple Bloom challenges them to a cider-making contest! So the next day they have the contest to see who can make the most cider in one hour! -I- was in a cider contest like that, once! I drank all of it. I didn't know there was alcohol in Ponyville! Me and Berry Punch would get along great! In fact, I'll go write a fan fiction about that when I'm done. But I digress. So the contest starts! And at first it seems like the machine is winning because they make cider so much faster! But then Applejack's friends come in and are like: "Can we help Applejack?" And the brothers are like: "Whatever, we're still going to win." Hooray! But it turns out that with all the friends helping, they work faster than the machine! So the brothers are like: "We've gotta do something!" So they make the machine work faster with their magic! But then it turns out that the machine eats all the trees and makes the apples un-useable! So they do the one move that every company will agree with: Turn off quality control! -I- turned off quality control, once! My piss was never the same. So the time runs out, and the unicorn brothers win! So as the Apple Family are packing their things, everypony takes a drink of the brothers' cider! And it tastes like crap! So the brothers go to the next town, and the Apple Family gets to keep their farm! Hooray! And so Applejack writes a letter to Princess Celestia! And it's like THE GREATEST LETTER I'VE EVER READ IN MY LIFE! Applejack is like: "Dear Princess Celestia, I didn't learn anything! I already knew that quality beats quantity and your friends are always there to help you! So piss off while we drink cider!" The end! This is Chester A. Bum saying, CHANGE! Ya got change? Ah come on, help a guy out, will ya? Come on, change! Well at least get me some money to get some of Applejack's cider! Maybe I can use it to seduce Berry Punch! ((Seriously, though, this episode rocked my world)) |
| Anonymous #936524 5 months ago |
I so very much want to see Sweet Apple Acres juice boxes in the stores... |
| FinalGamerJames #936607 5 months ago |
#503 Bra. Vo. |
| BlazBrony #936713 5 months ago |
'Piss off while we drink cider!'
Win. |
| RHF #936834 5 months ago |
OH MY GOD THIS IS THE GREATEST PONY I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE! |
| Psychopomf #937644 5 months ago |
Berry Punch x Chester A. Bum is my OTP |