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Kokopelli
#832028
6 months ago
Anonymous
#833095
6 months ago
C'mon, finish that MSTing.
Anonymous
#833710
6 months ago
SHOOT ME NOW

I couldn't force myself to read it, just skim it, but "famous pygmy griffin from ponyville" made me toss my lunch.
rjbachler
#834888
6 months ago
It took a bit. Real life likes to whip my ass every so often.

---

> Later that day, Griffy was searching in the air for Soarin'. He then accidently bumped
> into Spitfire, without her uniform on.

Rainbow Dash: Bow-chica-bow-wow.
Applejack: [Griffy] Hey, you’re a girl!

>
> "You're Spitfire!", said Griffy with excitement, "From the Wonderbolts team!"
>
> "The one and only", replied Spitfire with pride.
>
> "I'm Griffy, that famous Pygmy Griffin from Ponyville.

Twilight Sparkle: [Spitfire] You’re the one that went nuts shaved your head, aren’t you?
Pinkie Pie: [Griffy] No, but I’m so famous I’m bi-winning!

> Huge fan of your work, by the way", continued Griffy, "By the way, have you seen
> your partner, Soarin', anywhere?"

Applejack: [Griffy] By the way, I live in a tree. By the way, I’m fifteen times smarter
than you. By the way, I’m a much Mmmmffhm.
[Rarity stuff a hoof in Applejack’s mouth.]
Rarity: Stop that.

>
> "Funny", replied Spitfire, "I'm trying to run a quote-on-quote arrend for him. And it's
> to find his true love"

Rarity: Flaky Crust.

>
> "I think we maybe on the same track to play Cupid here", said Griffy with an intrigued
> expression.

Rainbow Dash: I don’t want to see Spitfire in a diaper.
Rarity: I don’t need to see Griffy in a diaper.
Twilight Sparkle: I think we don’t need to see anyone over the age of two in a diaper.

>
>"You got that right, little dude!", said Spitfire, happily.

Pinkie Pie: [Griffy] It will be most excellent, for I am Griffalonius “Griffy” Von
Masterton the III!
Fluttershy: [Spitfire] And I’m Spitfire, Wonderbolt!
Both: And we are Wyld Cupids! *Air guitar*

>
>
>
>
>
>

Fluttershy: We sorry for the delay in the fic. Your estimated time of actual plot is
whenever you move on to a good story.

>
>Griffy then rounded up Rainbow Dash and Spitfire rounded up Soarin'.

Applejack: Plan? Who needs to discuss a plan? Flail blindly forwards like and idiot!

> They both brought the two lovers the underground archives beneath Griffy's Tree in
> the park through a secret back door that looked like a basement door behind Griffy's
> Tree.

Rarity: (sarcastically) This doesn’t reek of Creepyville one bit, nope.
Twilight sparkle: Quick, we need to hide this door!
Pinkie Pie: I have an idea! Let’s disguise it as a door!
Twilight Sparkle: That’s so stupid it just may work!

>
> "Spitfire, what are you doing?", asked Soarin', puzzled at why his best friend was
> pushing down an underground stairway, far beneath a Maple Tree.

All: (singing) And she’s pushing a stairway to heaven…

>
> "You'll see soon enough, pal", replied Spitfire. She then left the archives chamber and
> made her way back to the surface, closing the secret, basement-like door behind her.
>
> Griffy came over with Rainbow Dash, telling her that she would see something
> awesome in the archives.

Applejack: [Rainbow Dash] Sure, going down into a secret basement lair couldn’t be
THAT bad for me.

>
> "Are you sure it'll be cool enough for me?", asked Rainbow.
>
> "Well judging by how complete your life is", replied Griffy, with a smile, "You yourself
> have estimated that your happiness is only 80% complete"

Twilight Sparkle: [Rainbow Dash] I did skip that optional dungeon when I was four. I’ll have to get it again during the + life replay.

>
>"So I need it to be 20% more?", she asked him.
>
> "Yep", he replied, "It'll be 20% cooler"
>
> Griffy then lead Rainbow Dash down the stairs of the secret basement door behind
> his Tree and down into the enormous underground chamber of the archives. He
> clapped twice and the crystals on the ceilings began to glow brightly like light bulbs.

Pinkie Pie: Fuck magic, we got the Clapper!

> Griffy then quickly bolted up out of the archives and locked the door. He and Spitfire
> began to feel proud of themselves for palying cupid to two stunt-lovers.

All: (singing) They screw through the air with the greatest of ease, humping each other on a giant trapeze.

>
>"How will we be able to see them?", asked Spitfire.
>
>"Easy", replied Griffy, pulling out a hidden pair of x-ray binoculars he had invented
> with Spike a while back.

Rainbow Dash: [Griffy] I tested these out on the Library a while back! Works great!
Twilight Sparkle: Note to self: Add shielding to the walls of the library.

>
> The two took turns looking through the binoculars as they focused on the groundm
> seeing how things were going in the archives.

Fluttershy: Is this how a Tumblr works?
Rainbow Dash: No... Well, unless you count Scootaloo’s.

>
>
>
>
>
>

Pinkie Pie: Damned loading times.

> Down in the underground archives, bothe Soarin' and Rainbow Dash looked around
> the place with many objects on display,

Rarity: Welcome to the Hall of “Crap Even Roboshi Wouldn’t Fav.”

> looking for what would be so important to them.

Fluttershy: Food?
Rarity: Water
Rainbow Dash: Actual content in the story?

> That's when the two bumped into each other, locked eyes and blushed.
>
> "Oh hi, R-Rainbow Dash", muttered Soarin', bashfully.
>
>"Hey, S-Soarin'", replied Rainbow, feeling a little shy for once.
>
> "Hhhmmmmm", said Griffy, as he and Spitfire looked through the x-ray binoculars,
> seeing what was going on underground, "Looks like they need a little help"

Applejack: [Griffy] Where’s that Ecstasy when you need it?

>
> He then lifted up a small fake rock with a purple button underneath it that said "In
> case of romance in the archives".

Pinkie Pie: Release the hounds!
Twilight Sparkle: That’s in case of war.
Pinkie Pie: Oh, that’s right. In that case RELEASE THE KRAKEN!

> He then pushed it, and a disco ball appeared out of the archive's ceiling, began to
> project blue, red and purple lights and played romantic piano music.

Rarity: Griffy’s mood music is crappy disco.

>
> The two lovers felt a little nervous (not from fear, but from really liking each other).
>
> I have no idea where that music-playing disco ball came from", said Soarin'.
>
> "Me neither", mumbled Rainbow Dash, turning her head bashfully around.
>
> Soarin's left front hoof then touched Rainbow's right front hoof. Once their hooves
> touched, they both felt something happening to their bodies, not just their faces
> blushing but also a great spark of what felt like fireworks in both their stomachs and
> hearts.

Pinkie Pie: And just like that, BAM puberty.

> These were more than hormonal sparks, they were destiny sparks.

Applejack: Or the bad wiring in the archive.

>
> "Wow", said Spitfire, looking through the x-ray binoculars, "That looks pretty
> effective. Which composer made that music?"
>
> "Colton John", said Griffy with a proud face, "It's his hit song, "Can you embrace the
> love tonight. It works every time on a young couple"

Fluttershy: Some one never bucked in the back of a ’67 El Camino then.

[1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7]

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Little bonus in part three, since it took me a bit to get this up.