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Harlequin_Jester
#831760
6 months ago
ROTHY
#831765
6 months ago
If he didn't shoehorn Griffy into every single story, these might be somewhat tolerable.
SooperKoopa
#831767
6 months ago
That's something I'll be seeing in my nightmares tonight.
Yorec
#831775
6 months ago
@Harlequin

SooperKoopa
#831778
6 months ago
↑↑ That was meant for Harlequin. That image is creepy as fuck.
Anonymous
#831781
6 months ago
And finally this's the best justification to keep this site free of fanfics
Flutterguy
#831818
6 months ago
When i read "cause i am a girl too" i did not cringed but actually FLINCHED and then went for a short walk around my backyard
This happened twice (Bonus points and an internet if you guess where)
Now, my "Willing suspension of disbelief" can be stretched like the Goatse guy ass, so i can chug down bad fanfiction and Mary Sues like whatever human are supossed to chug and then do not whine about it. Cupcakes did nothing to scare or traumatize me. Rule 34, foalcon, and the like does not bother me. Gore and grimdark also fail to have... their intended effect on me (Actually, i think some people should grow a spine and stop whining, but that is for another day)... But... THIS, i am angry, bewildered, enraged, salad, whatever you want to call it, there is no, i REALLY mean, THERE IS NO FUCKING WAY THIS GUY (autistic or not) CAN BE SERIOUS AND AND OH FUCK IT IF THIS WESDAMAN IS A TROLL THEN HE GOT ME, I AM MAD, STUCK IN DISBELIEF AND I DO NOT KNOW

TL;DR: I am Flutterguy, emperor of salad, and i d not complain to bad fanfiction, but when i do IS THIS FUCKING GUY

Sorry about the grammar, i did not checked what i wrote and sincerely, i do not want to

Have a nice day
Anonymous
#831823
6 months ago
Didn't read lol
Flutterguy
#831850
6 months ago
rjbachler
#832066
6 months ago
You know, I was going to ask permission to MST his stories, but with what going down I doubt he’ll give it.

... But sometimes you need to do it. And I’m old schooling the MSTing style, because that’s how I did it. And hopefully the formatting won't get boned. ;p

---

> It was an ordinary day up in Cloudsdale. Soarin', from the Wonderbolts, was just
> taking a few laps through the air when suddenly; he lost control of his own flight, due
> to his mind taking him away on a personal fantasy of his.

Rainbow Dash: [Soarin’] Apple pie, blueberry pie… Oh god, Boston cream… Damn
it, goin’ down!

>
> Soarin' then found himself in a crashed position in a field of green Grass.

Applejack: However he forgot to put his tray table in the full upright position, so he
died.

> Spitfire suddenly flew over to him, in hopes of finding out what was up with him.
>

Twilight Sparkle: [Spitfire] Are we going to need to do another "random" drug test?
Rainbow Dash: [Soarin’] ... No.

>
> "Soarin', you seem to be a little bit distracted today", said Spitfire "Is there something
> I need to know?"

Rainbow Dash: [Soarin’] Spitfire, have you ever had that... not so fresh feeling?
Twilight Sparkle: [Spitfire] ... Never mind the drug test, you’re getting a random psych
evaluation.

>
>"Well", mumbled Soarin' as he pulled himself off the ground, "Remember when those
>huge Ants with swords attacked Equestria?"
>
> "Oh yeah", said Spitfire, "You fell in love with that rainbow-manned girl. Is SHE the
> reason you're messing up?"

Pinkie Pie: [newcaster] This just in: Rainbow Dash banned from Wonderbolts shows
after it’s found out she causes mental instability in it’s members! More at 11!

>
> Soarin' just blushed and turned around to hide his bashful expression.

Rairty: Oh, that’s what the foals are calling it now.

> "Oh c'mon dude", said Spitfire, giving Soarin' a noogie, "I'm your friend and you can
> tell me almost anything, and it's clear to see that you've got a thing for her"
>

Fluttershy: Especially with that skin-tight uniform he’s wearing.

>
> "You think you can help me out?" he asked her.
>
> "I definitely know a thing or two about girls 'cause I'm a girl too, you know", replied
> Spitfire,

Rainbow Dash: [Soarin’] Oh crap, you got boobs!
Twilight Sparkle: [Spitfire] And after the evaluation, and IQ test...

> "Did you really think I wouldn't know how my gender works?

Rarity: Well, if the rumors are to be believed...

> Just kidding, of course you'd know!"

Applejack: They found the hole in the mares’ locker room wall.

>
>
>
>
>
>
>

Rarity: Suddenly nothing!

> Meanwhile, in Ponyville,

Rarity: Oh, thanks for the transition there.

> Rainbow Dash swooped down to the base of Griffy, the Pygmy Griffin's Maple tree
> and knocked on the trunk.

Applejack: Yep, infested with Asian beetles. Gonna have to cut it down.

> Griffy came out of the leaves and climbed down the trunk.
>
> "Jamboha, Rainbow", said Griffy, "How's life treating you?"
>
> "Well since you know quite a lot about life and stuff",

Rainbow Dash: After all, you live in a tree in the park.
Pinkie Pie: Better than a van down by the river.
Twilight Sparkle: Usually we STUFF our trees with the epitomes of knowledge and
wisdom, not let them hang out in the branches.

> said Rainbow, rubbing her left front leg with her right hoof and blushing, "I wanted to
> know how to get a guy to like me, and I'm asking you because you're a guy, so you
> know how it works"

Twilight Sparkle: [Rainbow Dash] I fell asleep in those classes.
Fluttershy: [Griffy] We look at boobs, it goes up. Anything else?

>
> "Love help?" replied Griffy, with slight surprise, "Is that all you want?"

Applejack: [Rainbow Dash] Yea, a hundred bits. I got to pay rent.

>
> "I've got a thing for a member of my number 1 favorite celebrity team", continued
> Rainbow, still blushing.
>
> "Does this guy go by the name Soarin'?" asked Griffy with a smile.

Rairty: [Rainbow Dash] Hell no, I’m talking about Misty! Have you seen her rack in a
hoodie?

>
> "How did you know?" asked Rainbow, her face even more blushed now.

Twilight Sparkle: From the crappy fiction and poorly drawn art. ... Wait a second...

> "Those heart-like symbols with Soarin's face in your eyes pretty much tell it all", said
> Griffy.

Pinkie Pie: Griffy: HE CAN SEE INTO YOUR SOUL.
Applejack: Somepony’s got eye problems as bad as Derpy.
Rainbow Dash: You run into ONE mountain...

>
> Rainbow Dash shook her head to get the heart shapes out of her eyes.

Rairty: [Rainbow Dash] Mom was right! If you sleep with contacts in they get stuck!

>
> "What am I going to do?", she said, acting very worried, "You all might not respect
> me for showing my softer side out of l-l-love"

Applejack: [Griffy] Don’t worry, a few beers and some hoofball will get that love crap
right out of you!

>
> "I totally respect you for it", said Griffy, walking up to her side and giving her a
> reasurring back pat, "I'll show you the ropes"

Twilight Sparkle: Mind you, this is someone who left his hometown because he couldn’t
nut up and tell a girl the truth.
Fluttershy: Use a nylon blend for the ropes. Less chafing and still keeps the knots.

---

A little quick and dirty. What do you think sirs?
Anonymous
#832135
6 months ago
^10/10 can't breath from laughter
Anonymous
#833092
6 months ago
Oh boy, an old-fashioned MSTing. It's been damn near a decade since I read one of those.
Anonymous
#833712
6 months ago
rj, that was a thing of beauty, please don't stop, if you can continue bearing subjecting yourself to that tripe.
Xuncu
#834662
6 months ago
^Fuck yes, that was the only way in hell I was gonna survive more than a few para a few lin letters.