Blotter updated: 06/17/12Show/Hide Show All

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GeminiSaint
#751690
7 months ago
Artist's note:

"UPDATE: An anon at Ponibooru came up with a better rhyme for the 9th panel, 2nd speech balloon, so I went and put that in. Sorry for the original "rhyme" (wherein I attempted to rhyme "sound" with "bone"). What can I say? Unlike Zecora, I can't rhyme. Also English isn't my first language, so there's that too."
Gittonsxv
#751691
7 months ago
why does this make sense -.-....OH WELL
Anonymous
#751722
7 months ago
"would have still not be" should be "would not still be".
Anonymous
#751737
7 months ago
Vote +1
Vree
#751751
7 months ago
first version >>95724
Vree
#751764
7 months ago
The death of language is going to be everyone speaking the Common Tongue of a second language. We all won't be able to speak fluently or use proper grammar or rhyme and but no-one else will be able to tell if we did anyway.

^^^also, Anon is right. You are thinking what'd correctly be "have been" (Present Perfect), but that is not the correct tense here anyway, "would not still be" should be used instead.
NotAPseudonym
#751787
7 months ago
If you're happy about correcting this further... "I would have not still be around" isn't much better (because it changes tenses, possibly twice?). It doesn't scan either. And it's a tautology.

Try:

> Oh goodness me! I fell from the tree!

> It is good I was not far off the ground,
> or maybe I would not still be around.

(It's still a little awkward-sounding imo. Anybody got anything better?)

You're not trying to rhyme 'seek' with 'think' in the last panel either I hope? Because... no.

> And that, my dear friend, is the story
> of how my speech pattern came to be.

(Not as fluid as I'd like either...)
Vree
#752542
7 months ago
Well, it's a cute comic either way.
Anonymous
#752570
7 months ago
The rhymes are good enough to get the point across, I think. It doesn't have to be perfect.
Anonymous
#754380
7 months ago
Wow i was the one who made that new rhyme in the first version. AWESOME!!!
NightJack
#757806
7 months ago
dupe >>95802
ThePowerofANON
#757809
7 months ago
Moon joke imminent.
Robomorons
#757847
7 months ago
@NightJack: Technically not a dupe since there are some small but noticable difference between the two.
GeminiSaint
#757899
7 months ago
3rd time's the charm, I guess?