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Comments
| MaroonBunyip #750780 7 months ago |
3... 2... 1... |
| Zincy #750791 7 months ago |
Pony_news, I demand to know why you haven't reported on Appolosa's governor and presidential hopeful Rick Farrie's recent ad flub! |
| Pony_News #750794 7 months ago |
Let me look it up! |
| Pony_News #750798 7 months ago |
too political, Zincy, but an interesting topic |
| Zincy #750800 7 months ago |
Aww, yea i figured it would cause a real shit storm. |
| Pony_News #750805 7 months ago |
I don't need ANOTHER one of those.. |
| Mattatatta #750865 7 months ago |
Apples or Oranges? Which fruit really does keep the doctor away? We'll find out after these messages
*10 minutes of gyrobowl adverts later* Apples or Oranges? Many argue that apples have always been the go-to fruit for preventing doctor visits. But an urban tale has gained popularity recently that argues that oranges are the new, modern fruit for keeping a pony from a doctor. So, which is it to be? Over to our reporter, Scoop Century; how are you, Scoop? Hello, I am feeling just great this evening, and I am excited to tell you and the viewers at home that new tests are about to be ran to answer the question on everypony's tongues: "Are apples or oranges the best fruit for keeping doctors away?". Here with me is researcher Study Wise, now tell me, Mr. Wise, what is this test you are going to run? Oh, it is a very simple test, and it would be easier to demonstrate it than explain it. However, I must tell everypony at home to not attempt this at home, this is science, and it can get dangerous. Alright, Mr. Wise, show me the test. Very well. Doctor Peppermint, step up to the mark. *a pony stands in front of a wall with a giant target painted on it* Brilliant, now stand still. Okay, everypony, safety goggles on! Everypony ready? Great, ready the launcher! *An apple cannon comes into view* Okay, Doctor Peppermint, try to get as close to the cannon as possible once the test begins, we'll measure how close you get to it. Ready? Begin! *Peppermint charges at the cannon, and is pelted with numerous, solid apples. He gets about half way before collapsing on the ground, waving a white flag* Okay, now let's measure that... 23.3 hooves from the cannon, very good. Are you ready for the oranges? *Peppermint stands up and salutes enthusiastically* Of course I am, this is for science! Adda-colt! Now get back to the starting mark Okay! Ready the orange cannon! Same rules as before! Everypony ready? Good. Begin the test! *Peppermint charges at the orange cannon, the mushy, squishy oranges splat over him as the hit him, but don't knock him down. He gets close to reaching the cannon, but orange juice in mane manages to drip down under the googles and into his eyes* AHHHHH!!!! It burns! *Peppermint stumbles backwards as he gets hit back with numerous oranges and is thrown off balance* The goggles do nothing! Ahhh! *The poor doctor collapses on the ground, waving a white flag while rolling around blindly* Alrighty then! Let's measure the distance... And the distance from the cannon is... 23.3 hooves? Exactly the same as the apples! *Peppermint is still rolling on the floor* I think I'm blind! *Scoop turns to the cameraman* There you have it, fillies and gentlecolts; Apples and Oranges are both equally effective at keeping doctors away! This is Scoop Century reporting live for Pony News, now back to the studio! *Peppermint mumbles* So... many... oranges... |
| Long_Fallen #750898 7 months ago |
^TL;DR
Wall of text |