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Comments
| Vree #642563 8 months ago |
This could've gone well...But in the end, it simply was horrible. |
| Zancrow #642568 8 months ago |
What is gavalanche doing now...?
What happened with Seymour? |
| MetalHooves #642569 8 months ago |
Ah, Gavalanche... |
| Anonymous #642576 8 months ago |
I think this comic gave me bone cancer. |
| Anonymous #642600 8 months ago |
This is pretty terrible. |
| Anonymous #642688 8 months ago |
1. Do collab with Gavalanche.
2. Proud of poem written. 3. Gav draws awesome illustration of said poem. 4. Happy with work made. 5. *reads comments on ponibboru*. Well, I may as well kill myself then. |
| Nopony #642726 8 months ago |
I don't get it .-. |
| Anonymous #642734 8 months ago |
for those that don't get it, read it in this manner_
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HhGuXCuDb1U |
| sargesprinkles #643088 8 months ago |
i like Gavalanche, but i don't get any of this. why is any of this happening? why is Mrs Cake happy that Mr Cake is assaulted? why are they assaulting him?
I hate to criticize, but the poem is confusing and hard to read. it's almost like the rhymes are random. Might want to plan this out better. |
| Anonymous #643548 8 months ago |
^ Are you the same sergeant sprinkles that wrote "Cupcakes"?
Anyway, what happens is the blue guy meet the yellow one at a bar. They get friendly and blue bets the yellow to ask out mrs cake. Mr get's pissed and when yellow says it was blue, mr cake attacks him, so yellow saves blue by beating him with a chair. Mrs Cake is happy due to Gavalanche's Headcanon of Mrs Cake thinking Mr Cake is just some annoying due as opposed to her husband. It is kind of hard to read, but if you watch the youtube link above and listen to that rhyming style, it is much easier to understand. |
| sargesprinkles #643719 8 months ago |
yes i am
what's strange is that even in his headcannon the cakes seem to be happily married later. i'd like to see where he's going with this. oh i did watch the the link. the thing is, it's not terrible, it just doesn't seem to flow right. just a suggestion, and i know that poetry can be subjective, there are too many of the same word in the poem, even in the paragraph. but, what do i know, i'm not really a poet. anyway, keep up on it. |
| Anonymous #643933 8 months ago |
Thank you for the criticisms, I will try to be more clear next time when writing shorter pieces.
And I'd ask Gav about his headcanon, I don't fully get it myself. |
| Lancer #644477 8 months ago |
Artwork's decent, needs a new writer. |
| Anonymous #801574 7 months ago |
I red it with a british accent |
| Anonymous #817306 6 months ago |
^British writer |