>Day Criminal Scum in Equestria.
>You are a Royal Guard!
>And it fucking sucks.
>”Hey, Anon! I'm really happy we got the same shift!”
“That's good for you.”
>”Um...You're not mad at me right? Please?”
>The mare besides you turns and grins sheepishly, a blush showing under her stone gray coat.
>You sigh.
“It's fine Gloom Wing, no, I'm not.”
>You actually were, but she didn't need to know that.
>Gloom Wing or 'Gloomie' as she insist you call her was the reason you were even working tonight.
>Turns out if one guard of a pair is goofing off both get punished.
>Fucking Gloom Wing
>”I'm sorry Anon! I didn't mean for us to get in trouble! Honest, I was just trying to make you laugh!”
“...I don't want to talk about it.”
>It took a long time to clean up all that glass.
>Even longer to run fifty laps around Canterlot.
>You can't stop yourself from grimacing at the memory.
>Gloom Wing's ears fold back and she finally relents at your grimace.
>Good, now you can focus on your work.
>You've been a guard for three years now. You joined just a few months after ending up in technicolor p0ny land.
>You had heard tales of changeling invasions and escaped gods. Near constant action and a need for brave hearts.
>Turns out it was just a lot of hype.
>The ponies were so scared after current events for their princesses that they took any functioning body that would join.
>Even your out of shape ass.
>After a whole year of nothing happening though, they began to let guards go.
>You were selected first, of course.
>You couldn't fly, use magic, and you didn't have Earth Pony strength.
>When they went to give you the boot though they did find you had one thing going for you.
>You were immune to magic.
>All magic.
>Hell, you could even drain it if you focused.
>Once they found that out you were quickly re-stationed and used for very important security work.
>You made sure no one entered the throne room with magic spells or illusions cast on them.
>You did this by touching p0ny heads and focusing, searching for any strange magic.
>More or less you were a metal detector at an airport.
>boring as it sounds.
>You shift your eyes down to look at Gloom Wing.
>Almost always, anyway.
>She joined the guard just a few months ago, just finished training and was then punted out to stand guard with a older member, help her get used to it. She could even pick who.
>It was you, of course.
>Fucking Gloom Wing

One Year Ago
>You are now Gloom Wing
>And you hate lines!
>You just hate being still! You want to jump and fly and move!
>You're almost finished though! Only a few more p0nies and you get to see Princess Luna!
>Your wings bristled from excitement and a grin split your face.
>You had flown in from Manehatten just to get this chance, you had left and planned to stay a few days at a hotel and make it into a little vacation from the hustle and bustle of home.
>Turns out Canterlot had a more wild night life then even Manehatten! Clubs, bars, theaters, and even a fair had all been literally packed every night since you got here.
>You loved Canterlot!
>You returned your attention to the dreaded line, and you were almost next! Just one pony in front of you!
>He was a light brown colored stallion with a richer brown for a mane, a cutie mark of a stack of papers and quill.
>Must be a bureaucrat.
>Ugh.
>”Step forward please.”
>The stallion turned his head and his eyes widened and his mouth fell. You followed his gaze, curious.
>You didn't blame him.
>There stood the strangest thing you have ever seen.
>It stood easily on it's back legs, and it towered over you, a bored expression on it's face. There was a long spear resting in its claws as it stood still as a statue, It wore gold armor on it's body, so it was obviously a guard.
>It didn't really help you stop gawking.
>”Sir, please, step forward.”
>The stallion in front of you gulped slightly and began to move towards the towering... monkey?
>”Er... Yes, what is it you... Uh... Need?”
>The monkey shifted and slowly lowered it's body, squatting on it's legs strangely and lifting a claw to the stallion's head slowly.
>”I'm going to check you before you enter the throne room, is all. Stay still, and you wont feel a thing.”
>The creature touched the stallion's head.
>Several things happened at once.
>The Stallion's eyes flew open and so did the creature's, their eyes locking for a fraction of a second before the stallion flew back suddenly and grabbed you pulling you right into him. Green fire erupted around you and you screamed until a black chitinous hoof silenced you roughly, and you felt two needle like fangs on your neck. The monkey had shifted again, with his legs bent and the spear now pointing menacingly at the changeling.
>That was behind you with his fangs on your neck.
>You were being held hostage by a changeling while a monkey held a spear leveled at the changeling with the promise of death in its eyes.
>You weren’t aware your heart could beat that fast.
“What...What's happening!”
>”Shut up! Stay still and you might live!”
>You think you could mange that.
”Step away from the mare, changeling!”
>”You're in no place to make demands monkey!”
>Don't push him you stupid monkey!
>The monkey tightened its' grip on the spear and narrowed it's eyes.
>”What do I have to do for you to let her go?”
>Oh! You're such a gentlep0ny sir monkey!
>”I...I want keys! Now!”
>You gasped as his teeth sank into your neck, drawing a tiny bead of blood.
>Dear Celestia you were going to die.
>Your heart beat faster.
>”Okay. Fine, here are my keys. You can have them. Just let the mare go”
>You couldn't wait to spend time with your new best friend.
>He slowly reached his strange claw down to his belt before bringing up a ring of keys.
>”I'm going to throw them to you, so don't do anything”
>”Just throw them! Here!”
>The changeling was shaking with fear and rage. You could feel it.
>You could also feel the whole body hiss as it vibrated through your neck.
>The monkey tossed the keys up into the air, and your eyes shifted to watch them. They spun lazily through it, seemingly in slow motion, the keys releasing a soft jingle as they flew over your head.
>The changeling let go of your head and neck to grab the keys.
>A spear rockets past your face.
>Your eyes flutter spasmodically as you turn your head.
>The changeling is pinned to the wall through a hole in his hoof, dangling helplessly.
>He's staring directly back at the monkey who saved you.
>Stiff as a board.
>You turn your head back around right as the monkey gets in front of you, one claw coming out and resting on the side of your neck, while the other lifts your face so your eyes meet his.
>”Miss, are you alright? Did he hurt you? Are you okay?”
>His eyes radiate concern for you as you stare into them 
>Oh Celestia you want him so bad.
>You work your jaw to say something, anything to your savior.
>His weird claws feel AMAZING on your face and you start to blush.
>Heavily
>You open your mouth to thank him.
>Instead you faint, landing face first.
>Smooth.

>Back to Anon and the present.
>You let out another sigh.
>Gloom Wing went and joined the guard just a few weeks after that whole fiasco.
>She tried to approach you a few times before that.
>She almost got within twenty feet before she turned tail and ran.
>Mare had it bad.
>But you just couldn't see p0nies that way.
>You were no horse fucker!
>Didn't stop her any though.
>Even when she was a recruit she would try to make 'passes' at you.
>Fucking painful to watch.
>Gloom Wing originally tried to keep it casual.
>She would approach you after training and make small talk. Drop a few hints that you should both go out and have some drinks. It would have been fun, probably.
>Unfortunately all you heard was stuttering and heavy breathing.
>You started avoiding her pretty quickly.
>It finally came to a head when, during graduation party of the recruits, she staggered over to you drunk.
>...
>Totally shit faced.
>She walked up to you, eyes half lidded and wobbling like a plate of jello.
>As she got closer, her blush got deeper, she stopped right in front of you and took a deep breath.
>”AnonIloveyouIwantyoutomountmeI'msonervousIcan'tstopshakingohIdon'tfeelwellI'mgunna!-
>She finally confessed her love for you.
>And threw up spaghetti all over your legs.
>Then passed out.
>You spent the rest of the night cleaning your uniform and desperately trying to stop your shoes from 'squelching' when you walked.
>You learned the next morning that she had begged her way into being the private you would take under your 'wing' and teach.
>When she came to report for duty, she had remembered what she did at the party.
>She spent the entire first week apologizing to you.
>”Anon? Are...  Are you okay?”
>You snap back to the present.
>Gloom Wing is besides you looking up with a worried look.
>It would be endearing if her hoof wasn't grabbing your ass with her wings straight up.
“Gloom Wing. Let. Go.”
>She jolts and lets out the most forced laugh you have ever heard, then turns sharply and walks back to her post.
>You spend the rest of your shift ignoring her staring and rigged wings.
>Fucking Gloom Wing