This is a joke, non-canon bonus chapter of Then and Now, taking place right before Anon is sent home. Then and Now is a FR story, but I posted this one to the Bat Thread, since it has zero FR elements, but for some reason or other, has bat ponies. I've been joking about writing this forever, and finally got around to doing it, so I hope you enjoy.


"I'm ready."
>Princess Celestia nods, and begins charging her spell along with her unicorn magicians.
>You give one last look to all your friends...
>Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Twilight, Applejack, Fluttershy.
>Rainbow Dash, with your childhood basketball still with her.
>You grip your game ball, ready for the drop.
>Here it comes...!
>"Wait!" you hear called from under you.
>It's muffled, but loud enough to get the p0nies' attention.
>Even Celestia and her magicians stop.
>You look around for a moment, curious to who called out.
>When suddenly, the ground next to you begins to shuffle and distort.
"Huh?"
>You lean in to it, observing its movement...
>Then, some kind of creature bursts out from under it, dirt and stone tossing in every direction..
>The creature wears a green vest, and looks rather canine-like.
>It catches you by surprise.
>"A Diamond Dog!" Rarity cries. "You scoundrel! What are you doing here?!"
>"No, wait, please!" he cries, climbing out from the hole he's made. "I mean you no harm, honestly!"
>Rarity and the others still keep their eyes on him.
>The dog turns and looks to you.
>"...Are you he?"
>You're taken a bit by surprise.
"Um, m-me? He?"
>"Yes, you... the legendary baller from another realm..."
>What...?
>Your eyes widen in surprise.
>The other p0nies begin looking and murmuring to each other.
>Celestia simply watches.
"But... how did you--"
>"Are you?"
>You wait for a moment, looking to the other p0nies in slight confusion.
>They all kind of shrug.
>The cold winter wind blows past, and you get a chill through your thin game jersey.
"...Yeah, that's me."
>"I thought as much..."
>He paces around you, observing.
>"How powerful are your slams?"
"My slams?"
>"Yes, and your jams too."
>You bite your lip, then grip your basketball.
>You give it a bounce or two.
"...Well, one time, I slam dunked so hard I was sent to another dimension."
>He gasps, as do all the other p0nies.
>As if this were news.
"Then, I did it again eight years later."
>He drops to his knees in shock.
>"It... it IS true, then... the legendary baller Anonymous... you are exactly what we need right now."
>You tuck the ball under your arm.
"What do you mean?"
>"Princess... if I may? I'm sorry for interrupting your ritual."
>Celestia simply nods.
>The dog turns back to you.
>"Right... allow me to introduce myself. I am known as Charles BARKley."
"...That somehow sounds familiar."
>"I am one of the star ballers for the Diamond Dog Bulldozers, our underground team.
>"But," Rainbow Dash chimes in, "I thought basketball was only played in Anon's home world!"
>Charles BARKley shakes his head.
>"This is untrue. B-Ball has been played for generations underground. It's a tradition! One we've upheld with the utmost of care!"
>"Then what happened?" Twilight asks.
>Charles sighs, then turns away solemnly.
>"It... happened recently. Our home, our caves, were... annexed by the bat p0nies."
>Something in your stomach churns.
>"They took over our government and made us second class citizens. But, worst of all... they... they outlawed B-Ball."
>Your heart skips a beat and your mouth gapes. All the other p0nies gasp.
"No way..."
>"Yes way, Anonymous..." he turns to you, with newfound vigor. "That is why we need you! When we caught wind of a B-Ball playing creature from another world, we thought... maybe this was our salvation! Maybe he would end this horrible B-Ball drought for us, and save our people from the bat p0nies!"
>You are stunned. Could this really be happening?
"But... why have they outlawed basketball? What reason is there?"
>He shakes his head. "We know not the reason. Only that what is done has been done."
>"Anonymous..." Celestia calls. You turn and give her your attention. "This is quite the task... what say you? Shall we postpone your return trip so that you may help BARKley?"
>You look back to the diamond dog, who waits for an answer.
>You can't imagine life without basketball...
>And these poor creatures, banned from playing the sport they love...
>Oh yeah, and their home being taken, too.
>What's more important to them again?
>But... you can't leave them like this.
"Okay Charles. I'll help."
>You bounce your basketball for emphasis.
>"Oh, splendid! Thank you, Anonymous!"
>"I'll help too!" you hear called from the line of p0nies.
>Rainbow Dash gallops over, dribbling your basketball next to her with her wing.
>"Two ballers, using their skills to save our people... we are forever in your debt."
>You smile.
"It's not a problem, Charles. I feel your pain."
>You tighten your grip on your ball.
"Alright, let's do this!"
>"Yes, let's!" he agrees. "Follow me!" 
>And with that, he jumps down the hole he came up.
>You look to Dash, who gives you a nod. You wave to all the other p0nies, then jump down, Dash following you.
>You slide and twirl like a slide, going deep underground...

>You empty out, with a somewhat painful tumble, into a large cave area.
>Dirt and dust kick up as you roll to a stop, and you slowly get to your feet.
>Charles waits, already looking out into his home.
>"This is the outskirts of the city," he starts.
>Dash soon painfully tumbles out from the hole as well.
>"At one point, diamond dogs of all ages were here playing B-Ball on our custom courts. Practicing their dunking, dribbling, plays..."
>You hear him sniff in sorrow.
>Walking over to him, you place a hand on his shoulder.
"Don't worry, buddy, we'll get this sorted out."
>"Yeah, we'll teach those bat p0nies who's boss!" Dash adds.
>"Thank you, friends... come, let us go to the city... please, be prepared."
"I'm always prepared."
>He nods, and begins walking deeper into the cave.
>You and Dash follow, keeping your basketballs close to you.
>You get the feeling that dribbling them right now would be bad.
>The pitterpatter of Charles's feet, the trotting of Dash, and your footsteps all radiate in a lonely matter throughout the cave.
>It's all so solemn and secluded.
>But soon, you begin to hear a sort of noise.
>Like a community of people. Talking, muttering, moving, everything.
>It gets louder, and before you know it, you all walk before a massive underground city.
>Homes are built into the cave walls, stalagmites, and stalactites, and diamond dogs scurry along the ground quickly, as if frightened.
>Soon, you find the reason why. As you look more above, you see several winged creatures flying to and fro.
>Better be ready.
>As you walk closer to the hustle and bustle of this underground settlement, two figures swoop down from above.
>They land to the ground with a clop. Two bat p0ny guards.
>Their pupils are as thin as slits, and poking out from each end of their mouths are sharp fangs.
>They glare at your host.
>"BARKley! What were you doing out of town? You weren't authorized to leave."
>Charles shrugs.
>"Sorry, must have slipped my mind. What with the new management and all."
>They frown.
>"You'll face your punishment soon, when--"
>The guard cuts himself off once he glances over at you and Dash.
>"...Citizen. What is that you are holding?"
>You grip the ball tightly.
>"BARKley... who are these beings? Need we remind you about the B-Ball Outlaw...?"
>Charles changes his stance slightly.
>"Be ready..." he mutters under his breath.
>"We will persecute you ALL to the full extent of the law for this treason... you're coming with us!"
>"Anonymous! Rainbow Dash! Now!"
"IT'S TIME TO SLAM JAM!"
>You whip your basketball as hard as you can at the bat p0ny guard. It slams him dead on the helmet, dazing him.
>The ball attempts to soar off, but Charles rebounds it, whirling in mid air and hurling the ball again at your foe.
>One more time, it ricochets off his head, off into the air. You bend your knees far, then jump as high as you can, grabbing the ball and falling down with the weight of an anvil, and dunk the ball down hard on his head.
>BOOMSHAKALAKA!!
>The guard is out cold!
>The other bat p0ny barely has time to react before Dash flings the ball at her, knocking her square in the forehead. It bounces off back to Dash, who headbutts it back in the exact same spot, then again, then again, walking closer each time she bounces it, then, finally, leaps into the air, twirls twice for momentum, and meteor spikes the ball directly onto her head.
>THE NAIL IN THE COFFIN!
>Guard number two is down!
>"Great job! Quickly, follow me!" Charles dashes into the city. You leave your downed foes behind you, tailing BARKley while you each dribble your ball.
>Each bounce radiates through the cave, like a drum of rebellion.
>The diamond dogs stop their sulking and watch as the three of you sprint through the settlement.
>Bat p0ny guards begin swooping down from above you, trying to take you out before you can reach your destination.
>You line up a shot, hurling your ball to a flying guard. It slams into him, sending him off course and into a stalactite.
>HE'S HEATING UP!
>And one more! The ball ricochets back to you, but you throw it one more time, picking off an incoming guard who begins barreling toward the ground. Dash throws her ball before he can make contact, knocking him even more off course and into a nearby guard tower.
>HE'S ON FIRE!
>Each of your balls come back to you.
>You continue your trek through the city, nailing any bat p0ny you see with your basketball.
>The diamond dogs all cheer and holler at your victories.
>"The square is just ahead!" Charles calls.
>This must be where you're heading!
>Soon enough, the area starts to widen. Less and less stalagmites surround you, and an open area waits.
>"Now, if we can just get to--"
>"ENOUGH!"
>All of the cheering and hollering stops.
>Even BARKley stops in place.
>You and Dash slow down, panting a little bit as your wide strides slowly come to a stop.
>You tuck the basketball under your arm.
>From above you, you hear the strong beating of bat wings.
>Bat p0nies from all over begin laughing, landing and trotting to one side of the square as their "kekeke!"s fill the air.
>Around a throne.
>Your furl your brow and begin walking toward it.
>As you do, a large bat p0ny descends slowly from the air. He lands on the throne and takes a seat.
>His fur is a dark grey, almost black, and his mane is colored a dark, deep blue.
>He's rather big compared to the other bat p0nies here.
>He snorts at you, then smiles a little.
>"So... you are the human we've heard so much about down here..." His voice is deep and disturbing.
>You take a breath, a little uneasy, and nod.
"That's right. I'm Anonymous."
>Dash and Charles soon walk up next to you.
>This large bat p0ny glances to your side.
>"I should have known... out of anybody, BARKley here would be the one to spark a rebellion."
>Charles clenches his paws.
>"You have no right to part us from our B-Ball culture, Black Mamba!"
>He smirks, then crosses his forelegs.
>"Don't I now? You should be thanking me... I'm ridding you from that horrible human abomination you call a sport!"
>"Human sport...?"
>Charles turns and looks at you, perplexed.
>Your eyes are fairly wide themselves.
>But... how could that be?
>"Anonymous, yes?" Black Mamba calls to you.
>You snap back to it.
"Yes."
>"I can see from your destruction here that your slams and jams must be pretty powerful..."
"I suppose so."
>He begins laughing, then rises to his hooves.
>"That may be. But... I doubt they can be much more powerful than mine."
>He flaps his wings, then takes off, flying into the air quickly before slamming down hard onto the ground in front of you.
>"Can it, Mamba!" Charles yells. "You bat p0nies have neither slams nor jams! You hate B-Ball!"
>He begins pacing.
>"Yes, we do, but..." He laughs a little more. "Anyp0ny who's the octoroon great-grandson of Kobe Bryant would be good at B-Ball."
>You gasp before you can even react.
>Charles and Dash look to you, confused.
"No way..."
>He smirks.
>"Yes way... Kobe Bryant, my great-grandfather, brought B-Ball to our people and the Diamond Dogs generations ago..."
>You clench your fists.
>"But that filthy human sport had no place among us. Soon, the bat p0nies rejected it, and my grandmother, a half bat p0ny, half human satyr, fled our home of Hollow Shades."
>This is... unbelievable...
>"Soon, my father returned, unbeknownst to anyp0ny his genetic past. But by then, any trace of B-Ball was lost. Except..."
>He glares at Charles.
>"Except for you. You filthy dogs wouldn't let B-Ball go. It has no place here. It NEEDS to be vanquished!"
>Charles shakes his head.
>"No way, Mamba! Its origins be damned, it's a part of our culture!"
"That's right!"
>You finally step in.
"Your great-grandfather wouldn't have wanted it this way... he loved basketball. What reason have you to tear it from these athletes?!"
>He gives a loud, hearty chuckle.
>"My great-grandfather be damned! I curse the day he tainted my bloodline with his presence!"
>You grit your teeth.
>"But, Anonymous... if you are so certain of your skills with a B-Ball... perhaps you'd like to play a little game. To save these poor creatures, of course."
>A scowl crosses your face. You begin dribbling your ball.
"What kind of game?"
>He smirks. "Why, B-Ball, of course!"
>As he says that, the ground begins to rumble and vibrate violently.
>You, Dash, and Charles look behind you, and notice a large rectangular structure rising from the ground.
>It keeps you speechless the entire time it rises.
>Finally, it comes to a stop, and the vibrating ceases.
>"So... that's where it's been hidden..." Charles mutters.
>As you observe closer, you see it to be a basketball court, equipped with two nets on each side and all of the proper lines.
>"So, Anonymous," Black Mamba says, now right next to you. "Do we have a deal?"
>You look to him.
"I thought you hated basketball."
>"Oh, don't get me wrong, I do. But, what better way to stamp out the hope of these creatures than by defeating their savior in the one sport they value most?"
>You furl your brow.
>"Anon..."
>Looking to your side, you see Rainbow Dash. Her face is covered in a determined look. She nods to you.
>You shift your eyes to Charles. He shows much the same emotion.
"...Alright, Mamba. You have yourself a deal."
>He smirks.
"One-on-one, half court, first to twenty, one point per basket, call your own fouls."
>"Spectacular..."

>The bouncing of the ball seems to echo throughout the entirety of the cave as you stand at half court, dribbling.
>The stands are full to the brim. On one side, the diamond dogs, and the other, the bat p0nies.
>At the bench by your side, Charles and Rainbow Dash sit and wait. Your coaches.
>On Black Mamba's, some bat p0ny named Night Watch. Her blue mane is partially covered in a coaching hat, and a whistle hangs over her neck, but it doesn't seem like she'll be using it much.
>Black Mamba, after all, is the top baller around here. Why does he even need a coach?
>"Are you ready, Anonymous?" your opponent asks.
>You bounce the ball a few more times, then take a breath.
"Ready."
>You check the ball, and he bounces it back.
>The second it touches your hands, you get going.
>Throwing the ball onto the ground, you dribble forward and around him, holding up your arm to defend yourself.
>Black Mamba zips after you, keeping up and preventing you from advancing close to the net.
>So instead, you get as close as you can, then pivot outward, fade-awaying toward the net.
>Mamba jumps and swipes with his wing, but doesn't get high enough.
>The ball swishes, and the Diamond Dogs go crazy.
>You smirk a little, the high of the applause getting to your head.
"Maybe you'd have been better off if your great-grandfather was Shaq, huh?"
>You say smugly, walking the ball back to the three-point line and handing it to Black Mamba at half court.
>"Oh Anonymous... we're competing in B-Ball, not Kung-Fu."
>He checks the ball to you, and you bounce it back.
>Immediately, he jumps and takes a shot with his wing.
>FROM DOWNTOWN!
>It swishes.
>The bat p0nies break into applause.
>Your mouth gapes.
>He walks past you, retrieving the ball and tossing it to you.
>"That's two points..."
>You snap out of it, and grit your teeth.
"Y-Yeah, I know."
>You dribble the ball a few times, facing your opponent, and check.
>He gives it back, and you again take off.
>You try to force your way into the key, but his defense is strong. Attempting to pivot one more time, you drop your guard, and Black Mamba snags it from your grip, dribbling out to the three-point line, officially making it in his possession.
>You jump toward him to start your defense, but he dashes past you, going in for a lay-up and scoring again.
>It's now. 3-1.
>Your stomach begins to churn...

>The game rages on, and soon, it's 16-9.
>Black Mamba leads.
>You haven't been able to shake this nervousness, despite Luna's training, and it's seriously been affecting your game.
>Any time you think you get a good shot, Mamba goes ahead and one-ups it the very next play.
>You pant and sweat, dribbling the ball at the check line.
>He smirks.
>"Oh, poor Anonymous, you seem as cold as a deli turkey. Do you need a time-out?"
>You furl your brow at him.
>...Actually. That might not be a bad idea.
>You look over to your bench, where Charles and Rainbow Dash look on with worry.
"...Yeah, actually, I'll go for that."
>You drop the ball toward him, making its way in small bounces over to him.
"Give me two minutes."
>"Of course," he says, then trots over to his own coach.
>You walk to your bench, then hunch over, supporting your body with your hands on your knees, breathing heavy.
>"Anon!" Dash calls. "Are you alright? You're getting killed out there!"
"Thanks buddy..."
>You say sarcastically in between breaths.
>"Anonymous," Charles says, patting you on the back. "You're thinking too deeply about this, friend!"
>You shake your head.
"I'm sorry, Charles, but this p0ny... he plays ball like no one I've ever seen!"
>"Of course he does..." he mutters. "Because you've never seen anyone play ball like he does. Playing B-Ball with all that hate."
>Hate...
>"He doesn't love the sport, Anonymous. Not like we do. On the outside, his game seems solid and strong! But on the inside..."
>He taps your chest, where your heart is.
>"is a weak excuse for sportsmanship. For the game. For the lifestyle."
>This actually sort of sinks in.
>"You can beat him, Anonymous. He claims he has the skillz to pay the billz, but his slams are mere taps, and his jams are jelly!"
"What are you saying...?"
>You finally stand up straight.
>"I'm saying a game full of hate is nothing but a front. YOU have the power, Anonymous. You play a game you love. He plays a game he despises. You HAVE the advantage, friend! You just need to see it!"
>A whistle blows, signifying the game beginning again.
>"Focus, and play your heart out! I don't doubt you'll win this for us!"
"O-Okay."
>You hustle back out to the court.
>It's true.
>Black Mamba hates the game.
>But...
>Does that really affect how he's been playing?
>Maybe you just haven't been seeing it.
>Maybe you haven't been focusing on the heart of the game.
>Like you do with The Griffons back home.
>Like Tiffany would want you to...
>...
>You arrive at the half court line and wordlessly check the ball to Black Mamba.
>"Ooh, no nonsense, huh? I trust this time-out was just what you needed?"
"...Come on. Let's slam jam."
>He smirks, and checks the ball back to you.
>You dribble the ball in place for a bit, with your guard up.
>You focus...
>He's not as good as you...
>He plays with hate and despair...
>...You can do this!
>You lunge forward and dribble the ball hard, going right for Black Mamba.
>He drops down and gets ready to defend, and you juke one way.
>He completely falls for it!
>Quickly, you bolt the other way, lining up at the three-point line and taking a shot.
>Off the backboard, into the basket!
>The Diamond Dogs go crazy!
>You feel a warmness in your chest, and a smile graces your face.
>"Well well... it seems we have a game after all."
>You go back to defending position, and you check the ball.
>He takes off, but you get down low and chase him, arms wide, defending.
>He tries to get around, but you shuffle widely, creating a wall of human defense.
>You can see the mild frustration on his face.
>Quickly, he jumps back and shoots the ball.
>Not this time!
>You leap as high as you can, reaching up with your arm and swatting the ball as hard as an all-star middle blocker in volleyball.
>As soon as you touch the ground, you bolt after the ball, snagging it before it goes out-of-bounds and get right back in it.
>Black Mamba has already caught up.
>You dribble toward him, then back up, but forward again, but back again!
>You confuse him a bit, and he tries to occasionally swipe at the ball with his wings, but you're too quick.
>Bouncing it between your legs a few times, you juke one way, which he doesn't fall for, then pretend to go the other way, which he does.
>A double juke!
>You bolt the free way, approaching the net and going for the easy lay-up.
>Your crowd erupts in applause once again.
>You can see Black Mamba gritting his teeth.
"So, what's that, 16-12?"
>You say, handing him the ball.
>He says nothing, taking it with his wing and walking it to half court.
>The next couple of points are the most intense points the likes of which you've ever seen!
>But every time he scored, you got at least two on him. 
>It's just like Charles said...
>He plays the game with hate. When you bring this to your attention, and focus on your love for B-Ball, it gives you a sort of strength.
>A sort of strategy.
>You now walk out to the three-point line, and give the ball to Black Mamba.
>You're on defense.
>It's 19-19.
>Both sides of the crowd are deathly silent.
>He bounces the ball a few times, then checks it.
>You give it back.
>And he stays there.
>Bouncing the ball over and over.
>You furl your brow.
>He's trying to bait you...
>That bat wing of his bounces the ball so tantalizingly.
>But you know better.
>Instead, you back up slightly, giving him more room.
>You're letting him know.
>He can't fool you.
>He audibly growls, then fakes forward, shifting you back slightly.
>After his fake, he jumps as high as he can.
>He's going for the three!
>Your heart almost stops.
>He's done it so many times before...
>This is almost a guaranteed victory for him!
>You can't let this happen!
>You step forward as quickly as you can, making up lost space.
>You feel you might already be too late!
>With one step, you leap into the air like a rocket ship, desperate to catch up to him.
>The ball just about leaves his wings, getting ready to sail toward the net.
>You muster all of your inner strength, and Michael Jordan from that one awesome scene from Space Jam, and stretch out your arms.
>The ball takes off!
>Right
>Into
>Your
>Hands!
>Before you even land, the Diamond Dogs burst into cheering.
>You hit the ground and immediately begin barreling it toward the net.
>You slam that basketball into the ground as hard and excitedly as you can.
>You can her the strong, fast, rage-full hoofsteps behind you.
>"ANONYMOUS!!" his voice roars.
>You smile.
>With a big leap, you jump toward the net.
>You hang the ball behind your head and arch your legs, soaring through the air, then jam the ball as hard as you can into the net.
>SLAMS IT IN!
>The whole backboard vibrates from your slam.
>The basketball bounces on the ground once or twice, until you finally drop down to the court and pick it up.
>The Diamond Dogs are going crazy, along with Rainbow Dash and Charles over at the bench.
>Black Mamba's eyes are as wide as dinner plates, and his mouth gapes.
>He's lost, and he knows it.
>You walk over to him with a smug look, ball under your arm.
>You wave your hand in front of his eyes to get his attention.
"Hey."
>He finally snaps to it, and looks to you.
>You throw your thumb over your shoulder.
"Hit the road."

>Quicker than you ever could have imagined, the bat p0nies vacated the underground settlement.
>Bound by honor, they had to leave.
>The court stayed exactly where it was in the town square, a symbol to your victory and reinstatement of B-Ball for all.
>The Diamond Dogs were busy celebrating their new freedom with B-Ball, but they had all thanked you feverishly when the game had finished,
>You look to them all having fun, your basketball under your arm.
>Charles BARKley pats your back.
>"We are forever in your debt, Anonymous."
>You pat his shoulder.
"And I yours. I couldn't have done it without you, and..."
>He looks to you.
"...I've discovered something about myself, and B-Ball, that I never thought I would."
>He smiles.
>"You are welcome back anytime, friend."
"Thanks Charles. I may take you up on it... if I ever return."
>Dash's eyes widen.
>"Speaking of that, Anon, we need to get you home! The princess and her magicians are probably waiting!"
>Something clicks in your mind.
"Oh, yes! I have my OWN game of B-Ball to finish!"
>Charles nods.
>"Use what you learned here today, and you'll be an unstoppable force!"
>You thank him again as he leads you to the city's elevator, which will bring you back up to the surface.
>What a strange way to end your journey in Equestria...
>He waves goodbye, and you and Dash ascend again toward the Equestrian landscape.
>You've changed the game here.
>Now to change the game back home.
>Your slams and jams will be unmatched!

End