>3... 2... 1...
>GO!
>The klaxon sounds, and it's bottoms up.
>This new bat is absolutely no match for you.
>The crowd cheers you on, king of alcohol.
>You are unmatched in the Big Bat Beer challenge, and no opponent can ever hope to beat you.
>For glory you continue pouring gallons of disgusting drinks down your poor throat.
>Your poor goddamn liver.
>Your poor taste buds.
>These ponies have no fucking idea of how to make a beer.
>Splutters come from across the table.
>Haha, little shit. Can't even keep it up.
>But you glance over from your pint glass of the golden elixir.
>She's fin Iished already?
>What the heck?
>Time to step it up!
>Nobody's ever breached the record before!
>And none shall this day!
>Glugging your drink down, you finally swallow the last sips.
>"You don't know what you're in for, punk."
>She has no idea who you are, does she?
>Throwing your head back, you down it in a second.
>But she's already done her second glass!
>No matter, you have to persevere!
>Once more the massive jug is down your throat.
>Exponential ratios be damned, she's on her fourth!
>This bat is beating your ass!
>The gathered patrons of this fine public house cheer on your enemy, you didn't even bother remembering her name.
>"ECHO! ECHO! ECHO!"
>Them shouts sure are causing an echo.
>You're going to throw up if this keeps up!
>Nobody can drink this fast, this is inhuman!
>Or whatever the equivalent would be for these ponies.
>On her 12th glass and you're not even done your fourth.
>She laughs at you, pointing her hoof across the table.
>"Just give up now. You're never gonna beat me."
>She stops totally and you, being the lightweight little bitch that you are, fall over in your seat.
"Fuggen... Rood mujj. Godda ged up tho. Help. I've fallen and I cand ged ub."
>The entire bar laughs at your mishaps.
>Bad alcoholic Anonymous end