>Day Spooks in Equestria
>Wake up in the dead of night to the sound of something downstairs
>Climb out of bed and grab the large piece of wood covered in nails you keep next to the dresser for security reasons
>Push open the door and creep across the landing to the stairs, listening the whole time
>A floorboard creaks
>Freeze
>Wait a few moments before continuing downstairs, the bat in your hands held over your head ready to smack whatever comes at you
>Reach the bottom step and pause again
>The noise is coming from your kitchen
>Squeeze the bat in your hands and gulp
>Tip-toe towards the faint light coming from the room
>Feel your heart rate increase
>Take a deep breath as quietly as you can before lunging around the corner
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRHHHH!"
>"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH?!
>"AAAAAAAAAH?"
"AH!"
>"AH."
>...
>"So you weren't -actually- going to eat this pie, were you."
>Sigh and rub your temples
>Rest the bat against the wall and turn your attention to the bat raiding your fridge
"Didn't you, like, eat already?"
>"I get hungry at this time..."
"You ate a whole three course meal not four hours ago."
>"I'm a growing pony!"
"You're twenty five..."
>"Your face is twenty five."
>Fucking Bat-Ponies.
>The pony sticks her tongue out at you and goes back to rooting through your fridge
>Walk over to her and pick her up, hoisting her under your arm
>"Hey! I'm still hungry!"
"You're -always- hungry."
>"So?"
"Who do you think pays for this food?"
>Nudge the fridge door shut with a foot and head towards the stairs, picking up the bat with your other hand as you pass it
>"Well it's not like YOU were going to eat it!"
"I was."
>"When?"
"Later."
>"When's later?"
"When I'm hungry."
>"Are you hungry now?"
"Please stop interrogating me while I'm tired..."
>"How are you tired? It's only twenty past one in the morning!"
"..."
>"Anon?"
"..."
>The pony huffs and goes silent while you lumber upstairs towards your bedroom
>It was cute at first, but these constant raids on your food supply are quickly chipping away at your savings
>You had no idea that bat-ponies ate so much
>The one under your arm prods your leg
>"Hey, Anon."
>Don't answer her
>"Aaaaaanon."
>Too late. Too tired. Need sleep.
>"Anon would it be weird if I... You know."
>Push open your bedroom door and set the bat down
>The wooden one, not the furry one
>"Anon?"
>Put the pony on the end of the bed where she clambers up the thin wooden pole next to it and dangles upside down from the ceiling beams
>Get under the covers, your eyes on the verge of closing
>Sigh and snuggle up in the warm covers
>Sleep at last...
>...
>"So would be weird if I like, drank your blood while you slept?"
>WHAT.
>Sit bolt upright, fully awake once more
"What did you just say?"
>The pony drops from the ceiling and bounces on your bed, grinning toothily at you
>You take note of her pearly white fangs, now more apparent than ever
>"Well, I was just thinking. Rather than raiding your fridge again... I dunno. I could suck you off?"
>Stare at her
>"Oh, oops. I mean suck off you. As in, drain your blood. So I can feed without stuffing my face with pie."
>She rubs her flanks and holds a hoof up to the side of her mouth before whispering
>"I think I might be getting fat!"
"Shade, do you even know what you just asked me?"
>Shade smirks and feigns ignorance
>"Oh, whatever is the matter, Anon? I merely asked if you wanted me to not starve!"
"No no no no, I'm being serious. Suck my blood, are you kidding me?"
>She pouts and bats her eyelids
>"Mister Anon not want me to suck him off?"
"STOP SAYING THAT!"
>Shade chortles.
>"Aaaaanooon. You know I'm only joking!"
>She reaches forward and pats your arm in mock affection
>"Now be a dear and go back to sleep."
>She smiles
>"I'll watch over you and make sure no nasty ponies try and get a piece of that lovely neck of yours--"
"NOPE."
>Jump out of bed and run into your bathroom, slamming the door and locking it
>Hear Shade's laughter intensify
>"Come on, Anon! I was only fooling around!... I won't drink much!"
"STOP SAYING WORDS, YOU UNHOLY BEAST!"
>More laughter
>"H-hey Anon! I'm rooting through your drawers!"
"STOP ROOTING THROUGH MY DRAWERS!"
>"You'd better get out here and stop me!"
>You reach for the lock
>Then stop yourself
>It's what she wants you to do
>Clearly, she had been planning this for a long time
>She must have chosen you out to feed on you when the time was right
>Sure, you'd been living together for six months, and any other time would have been perfect to strike, but still!
>No sir, the bathtub is your bed for tonight. The demon behind that door can moan all she wants
>You are Shade
>Bored out of your mind
>Anon has been in there for like, thirty minutes.
"You asleep yet?"
>"GO TO HELL!"
>Snicker
"This is getting dull, Anon. Get out here. I wanna sleep."
>"Then do it."
"I can't. I kinda need you nearby."
>"Why, so you can feast on me some more?"
"N-no."
>You didn't really intend to drink his blood.
>Anon was just nice to have around
>He looked cute when he slept
>But you'd never tell him that.
>Stupid human
"What do I have to say to make you come out of there?"
>"Nothing! I'll stay in here all night! The bathtub is far more comfortable that you give it credit!"
>...
"The taps are digging into your back, aren't they, Anon?"
>"...They really hurt..."
>Sigh
>He was pretty dim at times
"Look, I promise not to drink your blood. Okay?"
>"Pinkie Pie swear?"
>The hell is a Pinkie Pie swear.
"Uhh, yes?"
>A moment of silence passes
>The lock is pulled back and a scared looking Anon peers out at you
>Makes a nice change from the normal Anon that strides around and chides you for stealing candy from foals while their mothers aren't looking
>It's like you always say: 'All's fair in love and candy'
>You've never actually said that
>Beckon to Anon and pat the bed you're led on
>Anon cautiously gets out of the bathroom and edges towards the bed
>You bounce your eyebrows at him and lick your lips
>He freezes, a look of panic on his face
>Giggle
"Kidding."
>He scowls
>"It's not funny"
"Actually, it's hilarious. Now come to bed, darling"
>He stomps over and gets under the covers
>Climb up to the ceiling and hang upside down again, preparing to get some rest of your own
>Anon makes himself comfortable and closes his eyes
>After watching his relaxed features for a moment, you smile warmly and shut your lids

>"Shade?"
"Yeah?
>"Don't ever call me that again."