>Day Van Helsing Style in Equestria.

Companion image here: http://victor-whiterock.deviantart.com/art/Vampony-1920x1080-Victor-Whiterock-392408372 

>You are Anonymous: Vampire Hunter!
>And after your last climactic battle with the undead you were somehow transported to a land of pastel colored ponies.
>That talk.
>Damnable vampires and their unholy magic.
>Still, it could be worse. You’ve managed to make friends with the locals and found work as a wood carver.
>As a vampire hunter you know a lot about carving wood. 
>Especially into stakes and crosses.
>But even here the taint of evil curses the land.
>One of the farmers, Applejack, mentioned to you that something had been attacking her cows.
>Feeling suspicious, you examined the bovines.
>As you suspected, they were anemic and had puncture marks on their necks.
>The mark of the vampire!
>So you are now trudging through the Everfree forest, determined to wipe out the hellspawn before anything else gets its blood drunk.
>You started out a little before dawn because only a moron would hunt a vampire at night, and Mama Anonymous didn’t raise no walking blood bank.
>According to the local librarian (who is also a princess, go figure) there are ancient ruins in the heart of the Everfree forest.
>If there is one place vampires love to hang out, it’s in ancient ruins. 
>Well, that and high schools, but that’s only the sparkly breed of vampire.
>You shudder at the recollection of those glittery freaks.
>It had been a particular pleasure wiping them out.
>You walk deeper into the dark dank woods; suddenly a long howl breaks through the low murmur of the forest.
>Before you know it, you’re surrounded by wolves!
>But they don’t look like normal wolves.
>Instead of flesh and fur they seem to be made out of branches and vines.
>It’s kind of freaky.
>Since you’re so much taller than them, the wolves are still deciding whether they want to attack or not.
>That gives you time to do something dramatic. 
>You slowly reach into your long coat and retrieve a bottle full of liquid.
>Pulling a rag out of your pocket you uncork the bottle and make a cocktail that is very popular in war torn countries.
>Striking a match on your leg, you light the rag and chuck the bottle at the biggest wolf.
>Fire, fire everywhere! Thank you Mr. Molotov!  
>After seeing their leader reduced to charcoal the other puppies decide to beat it.
>That’s fine; you hate wasting your supplies on small fry.
>Plus alcohol is bloody expensive here so you only have two more fire-bomber specials anyway.
>In fact the local barkeep, Berry Punch, almost didn’t sell you the stuff when she found out what you wanted it for.
>”What a waste of good vodka.” 
>Of course, you disagree.
> After all, you’re only thirsty for one thing.
>Vengeance against all vampire kind!
>You make your way further into the forest.
>Nothing else messes with you.
>That’s right, even Shere Khan was smart enough to fear man’s red flower.
>And he was a bloody tiger.
>Man you miss movies.
>About mid-day you finally see the ancient ruins.
>You pause to double check your supplies.
>Oak stakes? Check.
>Mallet to hit aforementioned oak stakes? Check. 
>Garlic? Check.
>Wolfsbane? Check. (You’re still amazed that plant even exists here.)
>Pine resin torches? Check.
>Saw to cut the blood suckers head off before you stuff the mouth with Wolfsbane and burn the whole thing to ashes? Check.
>Short sword? Check.
>Fortunately you had that last one on you when you had been transported to this mostly peaceful and weapons free land. 
>You really wish you could have gotten a hold of some holy water, but you aren’t even sure that will work here. 
>Also, no one had a clue what you were talking about when you asked for some.
>Similarly, you had opted to ditch the crucifixes.
>Because, you know, ponies.
>You had considered getting some kind of sun icon, but you are still unclear whether or not a symbol representing Princess Celestia can be used to ward off evil.
>Even though she apparently raises the bloody sun every bloody morning.  
>How can you even begin to accept that?
>There’s just so much wrong with that.
>It’s just… just…
>OK… don’t think about it.
>Focus on the vampire.
>You know about vampires.
>Gathering yourself, you head towards the ruins.
>You pause in the entryway just long enough to light one of your torches and draw your sword.
>Showtime.
>You’ve been walking around for about twenty minutes.
>Most people don’t realize it, but a vampire doesn’t need to sleep in a coffin.
>The important thing for a vampire is that they sleep on a bed of their native earth.
>A coffin is just a convenient container for said earth.
>In fact you once slew a nosferatu that had stuffed a water bed with dirt from his home land.
>To this day you still wonder how that fiend managed to afford such a swanky condo.
>You continue to look for likely places that your target might be holed up.
>Suddenly the hairs on your neck stiffen.
>You wheel around and scan the darkness.
>Nothing.
>Still, your instincts are rarely wrong.
>It’s probably why you’re still alive.
>You press on though the stone halls.
>Boy, for critters without hands these ponies sure can build.
>You pause as a soft skittering reaches your ears.
>Thrusting you torch towards the sound you see two points of light gleaming at you like cat’s eyes.
>Your throat goes dry.
>Those eyes are much bigger than a cat’s.
>A million thoughts rush through your head.
>Is it the vampire? Is it one of the vampire’s minions?
>Whatever it is, it takes off into the gloom.
>Well, only one choice.
>You follow it down the passageway. 
>As you press forward you constantly glance up at the ceiling.
>Because if there is one thing Papa Anonymous taught you, it’s that vampires love to cling to ceilings.
>You step into rather large chamber.
>Shafts of sunlight make their way through the many holes in the crumbling roof.
>Always a good thing.
>You hear a chittering sound and you look around.
>”Keekeekeekee!”
>There! You look up and see a vaguely bat like shape hanging from an ancient support beam.
>Yup, always look at the ceiling.
>Thanks dad.
>You decide to challenge the creature.
>Usually you wouldn’t provoke a confrontation, but the thing is out of reach and you don’t have any way of getting to it.
>Why didn’t you bring a crossbow?
>Oh, that’s right, because these ponies don’t have such a thing and you didn’t have time to build one.
>Well, nothing for it.
“Ho devil’s-spawn! You can either get down here and face me or I can burn this place to the ground with you in it!”
>Never mind that it would be pretty hard to set this stone building on fire.
>The bat creature flares its wings and glides to floor.
>As it steps forward into a patch of sunlight you see that it’s some kind of pegasus pony.
>Except it has bat wings.
>Of course.
>Wait. It’s standing in sunlight?
>Crap. That means it’s not a normal vampire.
>At least it’s not sparkly.
>You tense for a fight, but the creature just smirks at you. 
>”So, you wanna put away that big knife? Or are you looking for trouble?”
>You match her smirk.
“Blood-sucker, I AM trouble.”
>Another thing Papa Anonymous taught you.
>Never underestimate the value of bravado.
>The vampire flashes her fangs and laughs.
>”Keekeekeekeekee! You’re funny. But if you aren’t going to behave…”
>She brings one of her front hooves down hard on the stone beneath her.
>Suddenly the floor gives out and you plummet.
>A pitfall?
>Really?
>It isn’t the first time that you have encountered a trap but this is just so old school that you can hardly believe it.
>You crash to the bottom of the pit.
>Fortunately, you land on something soft.
>The pit is lined with bracken and straw.
>Thank goodness your torch went out as you fell or you would probably be pretty toasty right about now.
>Still, you can’t believe someone actually built something like this.
>”Can you believe they actually built something like this?”
>You look up to see the grinning face of your nemesis peering at you over the edge of the pit.
>”This is first time I’ve actually gotten to use it! It works pretty well, huh? Keekeekeekee!”
>Oh, what you wouldn’t give for a crossbow.
“Well creature, what now?”
>That’s right. Engage the enemy while you look for a way out of this mess.
>”Why are you after me? I didn’t do anything to you.”
“Not me, the ponies in Ponyville. You’ve been attacking their cows.”
>The creature actually looks a little sheepish at your accusation.
>“Well I didn’t drink that much even though I was soooo hungry. And those cows have tons of blood. They’re practically blood factories!”
>Is this vampire trying to justify her actions? 
>Huh, that doesn’t happen very often.
>”So, what are you? Some kind of minotaur from the royal guard?”
“No. I am the sworn enemy of the undead.” 
>”The undead? What’s that?”
>You laugh.
“Do you really not know? The undead. Those damned souls that are put in the grave, yet come out again as living corpses. They seek the blood of the living to quench their unholy thirst! They can know no peace until they are killed a second time. Then they can rest from their eternal torment.”
>You haven’t been able to give a righteous monologue in a while.
>Feels good.
>”Wow. And you think that I’m some kind of living dead thing?”
“Of course. Do you not remember being a mortal pony before being bitten by another blood sucker and reborn into your current form?”
>Usually if you can get a vampire to remember their previous life they will get confused.
>If that happens here then maybe you can use that chance to get out of this trap.
>To your dismay the fiend starts to snicker uncontrollably.
>”Y-you actually… keekeekee… think that bat ponies… keekee… come from biting each other?”
>With that she doubles over with laughter.
>This is not happening at all like you planned.
>Finally your captor gets a hold of herself and, wiping a tear from her eye, gives you a condescending look.
>”Awww, did your parents never tell you where little bat ponies come from? You see, when a mommy bat pony and a daddy bat pony love each other very much…”
>As she explains about the bats and the bees, you begin to realize that this whole situation has gotten away from you.
>Time to regain control.
“Creature!”
>”…and then you can either bite the umbilical cord, which is kind of nasty, or you can cut it with a… Huh?”
“Do you mean to tell me that you are a living, warm blooded pony?”
>”Uhh, yes?”
“And that your drinking blood is just like other ponies eating grain, and not a way to spread the curse of your kind?”
>”Umm… yes?”
“Then why do lurk here in these ruins. Why not walk out in the open?”
>”Because most ponies get freaked out around blood drinkers. It’s not such a big deal back home, but here, well…”
>She gets that sheepish look on her face again.
>Then she glares down at you.
>”Wait. Were you seriously going to try to murder me?!”
>Well, when you put it like that.
“I thought you were something else. If you aren’t one of the undead then I have no quarrel with you. And… for attacking you I’m…” You trail off.
>”What’s that?
“I said that I’m… sorry.”
>Having to admit that you are wrong concerning a vampire.
>So this is what humble pie tastes like.
>Blech!
>”Well that’s alright then.”
>What?
>”I mean, I can tell that apology wasn’t easy for you, so you’re probably being sincere.”
>She wanders out of sight.
>”Here.”
>A rope ladder comes tumbling over the edge of the pit.
>”Climb on up!”
>Soon you are standing above ground again.
>You look at the creature, er, bat pony.
>Now that you aren’t in slayer mode you can see that she is actually kind of cute; just like the rest of the ponies on this messed up world.
>She is watching you warily, probably wondering if you are still going to attack her. 
>Well let it never be said that you don’t learn from your mistakes.
“Look, as it stands right now the ponies of Ponyville are going to want answers. Why don’t you come back with me and we can straighten this all out.”
>The bat pony gets a panicked look on her face.
>”Oh, no no no no nooooo.  That is NOT a good idea. I’ll just, you know, move on to some other town. You won’t ever hear from me again. Isn’t that a good idea?”
>Actually, that is a terrible idea.
“Look, you can’t keep living on the fringes like this. The ponies I know are very understanding. If we explain things to them we can figure this out.”
>She looks unsure.
“Isn’t that better than living like a thief?”
>She glares at you.
>That got her attention.
>Finally she sighs.
>”Alright, but you have to do something for me.”
“Name it.”
>”Promise that you’ll stick up for me.”
>She looks so vulnerable as she says that.
>You don’t think you could say no if you wanted to.
“You have my word.”
>She grins a big toothy grin.
>”OK then! Let’s go!”
>Just like that?
>As you walk back through the Everfree forest you find out that your new companion had run into some family trouble back home and decided to hit the road as a result.
>She explains that she had stopped here and there but since most citizens are unfamiliar with bat ponies she had only been met with suspicion wherever she went.
>Now you feel kind of bad for her.
>She tells you that when she came upon the Everfree ruins she decided to camp out there. 
>The nearby cows were just a bonus.
>”I mean, you have no idea how tasty those cows can be!” she sighs.
>You think back to all the wonderful burgers you have eaten over the years. 
>Medium rare. 
>With cheese.
>And bacon.
>Curse those vampires for sending you to a world where everybody is a vegetarian and the cows are semi-sentient.
>“Anyway, I’m glad you’re going to help me out. I was getting kind of lonely out in that forest by myself.”
>She smiles and bats her big golden eyes at you.
>Wait, was that a pun?
>First you had to get used to all the horse puns and now bat puns? 
>Curse those damned vampires.
>But she does raise and interesting question.
“Why were you so sure that you could trust me after I gave you my word?”
>She stops trotting and looks up at you with a very serious face.
>”Because stiffs always take their word of honor very seriously.”
>She grins.
>”And you are such a stiff! Keekeekeekeekeekeekee!”
>Sigh.
>”Hey.”
“Yes?”
>”Well, it’s just that I’m really hungry. And you’re such a big fellow. Do you think maybe…?”
“Sorry, my papa raised me so I put a stake through the heart of anything that tries to drink my blood.”
>”Oooooooookay. That’s a no then”
>You finally reach the edge of the Everfree. 
>You hear a loud growing.
>More arboreal wolves?
>”Sorry. That was my stomach.”
>You look down at the embarrassed bat pony.
>”I told you I was hungry.”
>You think about her situation.
>She is about to face the music in Ponyville.
>The might demand some kind of justice.
>They might lock her up.
>And you’re pretty sure they don’t serve blood in Equestrian jails.
>Who knows when she might get to feed again?
>And she looks so pitiful and helpless and…
>Wait what are you thinking?
>You know exactly what you’re thinking.
“Come on over here.” you say as you walk over to a large tree.
>”What’s going on?” she asks nervously.
“I’m going to give you some of my blood.”
>She light’s up immediately.
“But only enough to sustain you. I start getting light headed and I’ll turn you into a pin cushion. You got it?” 
>You rattle the short sword at your side.
>You’re bluffing but she doesn’t need to know that.
>She gulps. “Sure, I got it.”
>You both sit down at the base of the tree.
>You take out a piece of rope and tie off your arm.
>As a vampire hunter you also have to know how to do blood transfusions.
>You present your arm to her. 
>”Um I prefer the neck. It’s easier.”
“The arm or nothing.”
>Grumbling a bit, she eyes the veins on the inside of your elbow, picks one, and sinks her fangs in.
>As she drinks your life fluids you think about all the mighty vampire lords and lusty vampire ladies that you have fought over the years.
>Some had the strength of twenty men.
>Some had an unreal allure and sex appeal.
>You were able to resist them all.
>To think that you would finally be defeated by something so… cute.
>Sorry Papa Anonymous, today your boy is a disgrace to vampire hunters everywhere.