Archive-name: Humour/sorority.txt
Archive-author: 
Archive-title: Canonical List of Sorority Girl Jokes



1. Q: What do you say to a sorority girl that won't give in?
   A: "Have another beer."

2. Q: Why does a sorority girl wear underwear?
   A: To keep her ankles warm.

3. Q: What's the difference between a sorority girl and a Rolls Royce?
   A: Not everybody has been in a Rolls Royce.

4. Q: What's the difference between a sorority girl and a toilet?
   A: A toilet doesn't follow you around after you use it.

5. Q: What does a sorority girl put behind her ears to make her look more
      attractive?
   A: Her ankles.

6. Q: What's the difference between a sorority girl and a bowling ball?
   A1: You can only put three fingers in a bowling ball.
   A2: You could eat a bowling ball if you had to.
   A3: You can't fit a sorority girl inside a bowling ball.
   A4: There is no difference.  They're both round and have three holes
       to poke.

7. Q: How are a bowling ball and a sorority girl alike?
   A: You can pick them up, stick your fingers in them, and throw them
      in the gutter and they'll always come back.

8. Q: What is the difference between a sorority girls and hookers?
   A: Sorority girls cost less per score.

9. Q: What is the difference between a sorority girl and an elephant?
   A: About 40 pounds.
   Q2: How do you equalize the two?
   A2: Feed the elephant.

10. Q: What is the first thing a sorority girl does in the morning?
    A1: Introduces herself.
    A2: Walks home.

11. Q: What's the difference between a sorority girl and the Titanic?
    A: Only 1500 went down on the Titanic.

12. Q: How can you tell if a sorority girl has achieved orgasm?
    A: She drops her nail file.

13. Q: What's a sorority girls favorite wine?
    A: "Daaaaaaady, I want to go to Mi-ammmmmmi."

14. Q: What do you get when you cross a sorority girl with an ape?
    A: Don't know. There's only so much an ape can be forced to do.

15. Q: Why is a sorority girl like a door knob?
    A: 'Cause everybody gets a turn.

16. Q: How do you get a sorority girl in your bed?
    A: Grease her hips so she'll fit through the door, and throw a 
       twinkie on the bed.

17. Q: Did you hear about the new sorority girl doll?
    A: You put a ring on her finger and her hips expand.

18. Q: What's the difference between sorority girls and garbage?
    A: Garbage gets taken out once a week.

19. Q: What do you call a 100 sorority girls bathing on a beach in Cuba?
    A: Bay of Pigs.

20. Q: What do you call a sorority girl hang-gliding festival?
    A: Multiple total eclipses.

21. Q: What is a sorority girls mating call?
    A: "I'm sooooooo drunk, I'm sooooooo drunk."

22. Q: What's the difference between a sorority girl and a dog?
    A: Driver's will swerve to miss the dog.

23. Q: How many sorority girls does it take to change a light bulb?
    A1: 1, she holds on to it, and the world revolves around her.
    A2: 2, one to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call Daddy.
    A3: 6, one to screw it in, and five to make T-shirts.
    A4: 7, one to change it, and six to go out and buy more Diet Pepsi.
    A5: 65, one to change it, and 64 to sing and clap.

24. Q: Why is a sorority girl like railroad tracks?
    A: 'Cause she's been laid all over the country.

25. Q: What three words will a sorority girl never hear?
    A: "Attention K-mart shoppers."

26. Q: Why does a sorority girl close her eyes during sex?
    A: So she can fantasize about shopping.

27. Q: What is a sorority girls favorite position?
    A: Facing Bloomingdale's.

28. Q: What's the difference between sorority girls and Jell-o?
    A: Jell-o wiggles when you eat it.

29. Q: What do you call a sorority girl's waterbed?
    A1: Lake Placid.
    A2: The Dead Sea.

30. Q: How do you know when a sorority girl is a nymphomaniac?
    A: She'll make love the same day she had her hair done.

31. Q: What's a sorority girl's idea of natural childbirth?
    A: No make-up.

32. Q: How do you prevent a sorority girl from having sex?
    A: Marry her.

33. Q: What's the difference between a sorority girl and a broom closet?
    A: Only two men fit inside a broom closet at once.

34. Q: What's the difference between a sorority girl and a phone booth?
    A1: You need a quarter to use the phone.
    A2: Only one person can use the phone at once.

35. Q: What's the difference between a sorority and a circus?
    A: A circus is a cunning array of stunts.

36. Q: How is a sorority girl like a vacuum?
    A: They both suck.
    Q2: How are they different?
    A1: You can buy a new vacuum when you get sick of it.
    A2: You can buy a new vacuum when it no longer sucks.
    A3: When a vacuum cleaner is full of shit, it's easy to dump the old bag.
    A4: A vacuum cleaner can't suck a golf ball through a garden hose.
    A5: A vacuum cleaner can't suck start a Harley.

37. Q: How do you get four sorority girls on one chair?
    A1: Tell them there is a rich guy sitting in it.
    A2: Turn the chair over, and put one on each leg.

38. Q: What's the difference between a sorority track team and a tribe of
       sly pygmies?
    A: The tribe of sly pygmies are a bunch of cunning runts.

39. Q: What does the Bermuda Triangle and sorority girls have in common?
    A: They've both swallowed a lot of semen.

40. Q: What does a sorority girl make for dinner?
    A: Reservations.

41. Q: Why does a sorority girl wear a gold diaphragm?
    A: So her boyfriend will think he's coming into money.

42. Q: What did the sorority girl say when she knocked over the priceless
       Ming vase?
    A: "It's OK Daddy, I'm not hurt."

43. Q: What's the difference between a prostitute, a nymphomaniac, and a
       sorority girl?
    A: A prostitute says, "Are you done yet?", a nymphomaniac says, "You're
       done already?", and a sorority girl says, "Beige... I think I'll
       paint the ceiling beige."

44. Q: What's the difference between a sorority girl and a rooster?
    A: In the morning a rooster says, "Cock'll-doodl-doooo", while a 
       sorority girl says, "Any-cock'll-doooo."

45. Q: What do you call 24 sorority girls walking down the street?
    A: A case of Schlitz.

46. Q: What is foreplay for a sorority girl?
    A: Thirty minutes of begging.

47. Q: How does a sorority girl commit suicide?
    A: She gathers her clothes into a pile and jumps off.

Misc:  1. Tri-delts.  I'm sure everyone else has.
       2. If your date won't; Tri-delts.
       3. Once you've tried everything else; Tri-delts.

       __________  __________
       \        //\\        /
        \      //  \\      /
         \    //    \\    /
          \  //      \\  /
           \//________\\/           Tri-delts: Two out of three go down.

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