
Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/12223449.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage, Rape/Non-Con
  Category:
      M/M, Multi, Other
  Fandom:
      Hamilton_-_Miranda
  Relationship:
      Alexander_Hamilton/Thomas_Jefferson
  Character:
      Alexander_Hamilton, Thomas_Jefferson, James_Madison, George_Washington,
      Martha_Wayles_Jefferson, John_Laurens, Hercules_Mulligan, Gilbert_du
      Motier_Marquis_de_Lafayette, Elizabeth_"Eliza"_Schuyler, Margarita
      "Peggy"_Schuyler, Angelica_Schuyler, Maria_Reynolds, James_Reynolds,
      Peter_Jefferson_(1708-1757)
  Additional Tags:
      Alternate_Universe_-_High_School, Alternate_Universe_-_Modern_Setting,
      Child_Abuse, Trans_Male_Character, Homophobia, Angry_Sex, Gender
      Dysphoria, Somewhat_OOC_Thomas_Jefferson, OOC_Peter_and_Jane_Jefferson,
      I'm_sure_that_they_were_fine_for_slave_owning_pieces_of_shit., Non-
      Consensual_Drug_Use
  Series:
      Part 1 of Angsty_Jamilton_With_SAT_Word_Titles
  Stats:
      Published: 2017-09-30 Completed: 2017-11-28 Chapters: 16/16 Words: 16922
****** heteroclite ******
by meghanisadweeb
Summary
     het·er·o·clite
     [ˈhedərəˌklīt]
     ADJECTIVE
     abnormal or irregular.
     Thomas Jefferson and Alexander Hamilton are quite the heteroclites.
     *The Rape/Non-Con Warning is for things that are only mentioned. No
     character is described being raped.*
***** Chapter 1 *****
     “Papa was talking to me about sex the other day. Babies and shit. He says
that I’m gonna have to get married pretty soon after I graduate ‘cause he’s
getting old as fuck and he wants grandkids.” Thomas says quietly, looking down.
He takes a drag out of his cigarette, trying to look nonchalant. He doesn’t
want his boyfriend to know how much it all freaks him out.
 
     “Peter Jefferson said that he was getting old as fuck?” Alex cocks an
eyebrow, barely concealing a grin. “The man is such a pearl-clutcher that if he
hangs on much harder he’s gonna snap ‘em.”
 
     “Baby, this is serious. I can’t go against him. You know that. If he wants
me to marry some random hedge fund manager’s boring daughter, that’s what I’m
going to have to do.” He learned a long time ago that when he disobeyed his
father, things could get ugly faster than he can blink. God, he’s been turned
over Peter’s knee more as a rebellious teen than he ever had been as a little
kid.
 
     “Why the fuck not? You’re gonna be eighteen in, like, three months. That’s
when you cash in on some of that homophobic blood money, right? So, you bide
your time and skip town after graduation with all that embezzled cash.” The
other boy looks much less amused now, arms crossed over his chest in the pre-
stages of an infamous Alexander Hamilton temper tantrum.
 
     “Homophobic blood money? Is that seriously what you think of me? He’s my
father , Alexander.” He only ever uses his boyfriend’s full name when he’s
pissed off, and by God is he pissed off right now.
 
     “It’s true! God, what would he even  say  if he found out that his
precious angel sticks it in his boyfriend’s ass on a regular basis? What would
he say about ‘ Daddy ’? This is too fucking good. Do you think that snail mail
would work for something like that, or would an email from an anonymous account
work better?” Alex is cracking up, and if it were anyone else, Thomas would
wipe that smug look off his face.
 
     “You’re actually joking about outing me to my dad. What the fuck?! Why
would you even  think  about doing something like that, let alone contemplate
how you’d fucking do it? He’d  disown  me! I can’t fucking- If I ever came out
to Papa, he’d write me out of his will and shun me. I wouldn’t even be invited
to his funeral. He absolutely can’t find out about any of this. About you, or
me being gay in general-” He throws his cigarette on the ground and stamps it
out like a kid stomping his foot after being put in time out.
 
     “Well, if it wasn’t for your fucking Christian guilt, then maybe we
wouldn’t be in this mess! So what if he disowns you? You lose your inheritance?
Big fucking deal! How much do you have in that trust of yours, anyway?! I doubt
that you need three billion or however much that piece of shit has in offshore
accounts on top of whatever wad you already have!” Alex balls up his fists and
steps into Thomas’s space.
 
     “This is one of those family things! You know, one of those family things
that you’ll never understand because even your own  father  didn’t want you! My
dad actually loves me! He just… has problems expressing that, sometimes.” It’s
a low blow, Thomas is self-aware enough to realize that much.
 
     “My dad didn’t beat me! I could eat whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted!
He didn’t fucking abuse me and my mom emotionally and physically! You want to
talk about love? Treating you like you’re a seven year old isn’t love! You have
a schedule on your fridge in baby blue with fucking smiley face stickers! Isn’t
that a little odd to you?!” Alex’s lower lip wobbles and Thomas feels his heart
drop in his chest.
 
     “He just wants me to be better, okay?! We’ve talked about this and you’re
not going to change my mind! He just has funny ways of showing me how much he
loves me! If he didn’t love me then he wouldn’t take the time to correct me!
He’d just ignore me or kick me out! He wouldn’t go through the trouble of
disciplining me, and-” He knows in his heart of hearts that Papa loves him. He
has to. He’s all that he has left.
 
     “Stop making excuses for him! He’s fucking infantilized you and has been
turning you into his little  dog  since you were born! He still  spanks  you,
for Christ’s sake! Spanking isn’t good at any age, but on a fucking seventeen
year old?!” He has those big, concerned,  beautiful  brown eyes fixed on him,
and he suddenly feels really guilty even though he has no real reason to be.
 
     “I can’t do this right now, okay? I know that you hate Papa, but he’s my
dad. I can’t just… I have to be with him. If he doesn’t have me then he’s all
alone, and I couldn’t do that to him. After Mama… he’s just so  sad . All the
time. He hardly even yells at me anymore. It’s not like… Please. Just drop it?”
Thomas murmurs, blinking away tears. He has church in the morning, anyway, and
the last time he missed a Sunday service he had a fever of 102.
 
     “I love you. I just wish that you could see that he’s hurting you. I can’t
stand to see you hurting like this all the time. It makes me feel so powerless.
My boyfriend’s hurting, and I can’t fix it.” Alex wraps his arms around him in
a hug, and Thomas’s hands quickly find their place on the small of his back.
 
     “You’re still wearing your binder. Why are you still wearing your binder?
You wore it all day at school and it needs to come off, okay? C’mon. Shirt
off.” He scolds lightly, tugging on the hem of Alexander’s t-shirt. The shorter
boy grumbles a little but eventually relents, raising his arms above his head.
Thomas pulls it off of him in a well-practiced motion, and the binder is the
next thing to go.
 
     “There we go. Handsome boy. Deep breaths for me. I wish that I could find
you something to help you alleviate your dysphoria without the breathing
issues. I hate that you have to hurt to look more like who you are.” He
murmurs, pressing a kiss to Alex’s forehead. The moment is so tender, it’s
almost like they’d never fought at all.
 
     “I know.” Lexi says shortly, tugging his shirt back on. He does the
breathing exercises with little complaint, though. As a reward for not pitching
a fit, he gets a long, slow kiss, full of passion.
 
     They can do this.
***** Chapter 2 *****
Chapter Notes
     Warning for direct, explicit child abuse. And victim-blaming, both
     internal and external. And also probably Stockholm Syndrome?
See the end of the chapter for more notes
 
    Thomas went home shortly after that, sneaking back into his room
cautiously. Papa would kill him if he caught him. He’d demand to know what he’d
been doing, demand to read all of his texts- It’s making his heart pound just
thinking about it.
 
    All that he can think about while he’s tossing and turning in his bed is
how much easier it would be to sleep if he had his Alexander in his arms. His
smart, handsome Alexander, who inexplicably likes Taco Bell and loves the color
green. He’s got it bad. But he’ll never be able to bring Alex home to meet his
father. He’ll never be able to have his father walk him down the aisle.
 
    ---
     On Monday, Thomas wakes up with a terrible headache. Church had been a
brand-new kind of hell that he hadn't been prepared for on any level. Garbage,
all of it. But he wasn't going to say anything, especially not to Papa.
 
    Wake up. Take a shower. Get dressed. Eat breakfast. Brush your teeth.
 
    He knows his his morning routine like he knows the back of his own hand.
Actually, he probably knows his routine even better. He’s only been following
it since he was eight. But today… today is different. Thomas has never allowed
himself much teenage rebellion; He knows firsthand how that can end.
 
    But he finds himself pouring corn flakes into a bowl while he’s still in
his sweatpants and a well-worn t-shirt. Even worse, he sits down at the
breakfast island and goes to town on them. Right in front of Papa.
 
    “What are you doing, Tommy? Are you sick? Should I call the school and keep
you home?” Peter raises an eyebrow, but he’s only asking to be polite. He knows
damn well what game his son is playing, and he won’t stand for disobedience.
Today or any other day, for that matter.
 
    “Just sorta thought that breakfast would help wake me up. I almost fell
asleep in the shower yesterday.” Thomas murmurs with an airy laugh, plunging
his spoon into the milk. He’s going to be in so much trouble, but he can’t help
but think that it’s all going to be worth it.
 
    “Son, we have the schedule for a reason. If you start putting things like
your shower off, what’ll be next? We both know that you need order to
function.” The older man shifts, lips twisting into a little bit of a sneer.
Thomas gulps and nods.
 
    “Of course, Papa, I just thought that maybe-”
 
    “I won’t stand for you being disobedient. You know what I’m going to have
to do now, don’t you? Go to my study and wait over the desk. I’ll be in to
discipline you in just a moment. I have to throw this away.” Peter takes the
bowl away from him and walks over to the sink. He pointedly pours what’s left
into the garbage disposal. Thomas shuffles away, silently kicking himself. He’s
been doing so well, too.
 
    Papa comes in a moment later, pulling the paddle out of his desk drawer. “I
really, really wish that you were more obedient. I hate hurting you like this,
but it’s the only way that you ever learn. What did you do that’s causing you
to be punished?” He sort of pushes Thomas onto his stomach over his desk,
keeping his hand between his shoulder blades.
 
    “I went off my schedule. Sir. I just-”
 
    “I’m not going to hear any excuses from you. I have rules for a reason.
Following them is important. I know what’s best for you, Tommy. I just wish
that you could see that.” Peter sighs and tugs down his son’s sweatpants.
Thomas squirms a little, but he doesn't have a whole lot of fight in him.
Arguing only makes things worse. He knows that it’s coming, but all the
preparation in the world couldn’t stop the sob that leaves him when that
fucking paddle - the bane of his goddamn existence - comes down on him.
 
    “I’m sorry, sir.” He mumbles, resting his forehead on the desk. The
ridiculously expensive desk, might he add. Solid fucking mahogany with gold
detailing. The pain is bad, sure, but what’s worse is knowing that he’s
disappointed his father. The man that raised him, that cares enough to do all
of this just so that he can be better. And he’s so ungrateful that he can’t
even do his shit in the right order. He’s going to be sick. He’s going to be
sick.
 
    Papa’s mad at you, you ungrateful piece of shit. You break his rules
constantly. As soon as you turn eighteen, you’re out on your ass. Alex won’t
put up with you for much longer after that. He’ll realize how much of a
nuisance you are. He doesn’t really love you, you’re just a warm body. Just
someone to fuck and argue with and that’s it. He doesn’t-
 
    He can only bear to sit through a few more before he collapses into a fit
of sobs. “I’m so sorry, Papa! I’ll listen! I can be good. I’ll follow the rules
and I’ll come home on time and you’ll never hear a word of backtalk from me,
please just don’t throw me out. Please, I’ll do whatever you want.” He’s in
absolute hysterics, tears all but pouring down his cheeks. He’s so fucking
pathetic. He can’t even keep himself together through a punishment that he
caused.
 
    When he looks up, Peter’s smiling, but his grin is nothing short of
malicious. He rubs Thomas’s shoulder, his display of affection for the day, and
sighs happily.
 
    “I can tell that you really are sorry, son. And you’ll have a place to live
with me for as long as I’m alive. Go get your shower taken care of and you’re
forgiven.” He would come to understand later what the man meant when he said
that he would always have a place to live with him, but for now he just
hiccuped and scurried away.
 
    He can’t help but think about how lucky he is all through his shower. Lucky
that he has a dad that loves him so much, lucky that he has a warm bed and
everything he could ever want. Lucky that he has his boyfriend, but that can’t
last long. Alexander will leave him eventually, and he’ll be on his own with
Papa again. But Papa will always be there for him. That solid rock that he can
always count on for guidance at the end of the day.  
Chapter End Notes
     I have no excuse for how long this took. And posting at eleven at
     night? Great idea.
     But you should totally comment. And leave kudos. But mostly comment.
***** Chapter 3 *****
Chapter Summary
     Alex gives Thomas an ultimatum and Thomas is tired.
Chapter Notes
     This is hella short.
     Also, warnings for: Mentions of child abuse.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
    “What did he do to you?” Alex demands, glaring up at Thomas and jabbing him
in the chest. He looks down, biting his lip. He looks so sad. Papa doesn’t look
at him like that. He gets so angry, yells at him, throws things. It’s so much
easier to have someone be pissed off at him.
 
    “Nothing that I didn’t deserve. I’m sorry that I make you worry so much.
And it’s all my fault and I’m so, so sorry.” He’s extremely emotionally fragile
right now. He feels like he’s standing on a balance beam with high heels on his
feet. “Please, please. I can’t do this right now. I can’t. Please.” He’s not
going to cry. He can’t let himself cry in front of his boyfriend. Not right
now, not ever.
 
    “Thomas, oh, baby… Come on. We’re ditching.” Alexander grabs him by the
hand and starts tugging him towards the gate. He lets himself be pulled away by
the shorter boy, grounded by his rough hands. His hands that are so good at
holding him after a long day. That wipe away tears and rub his shoulders and
write him poems and stories and cheesy-ass love letters.
 
    “Now, tell me what he did to you. You look so broken.” Alex bites his lip
when they're finally off campus, stopping Thomas in his tracks. He's so stupid.
Stupid little boy that needs someone to tell him the difference between right
and wrong because he doesn't have the brainpower to do it himself. Who can't
even be trusted to tie his own tie in the morning and relies on Papa's every
decision.
 
    “I, um. I didn't follow my morning routine. He spanked me for it and I only
got a couple of spoonfuls of cereal for breakfast. It's not that big a deal.”
He shrugs, looking away. He knows the exact expression Alex has. He's seen in a
million times on days like this.
 
    “Why don't you just leave him, goddammit?! It'd be so much easier.
Honestly, what good do you think can possibly come out of this?!” Alex pulls
him down by his tie, forcing him to meet his eyes.
 
    “I can't do that. You know I can't do that. He's my father, and he just
wants what's best for me. It's not like he wants to hurt me. He has to! It's
the only way that I learn.” He whimpers softly, doing his damnedest to get
away. Alexander's grip on him is extremely strong.
 
    “Would you hit me if you thought that it would make me better?” His voice
is angry but surprisingly quiet. He's not mad, which is a good thing. Thomas
couldn't handle two people being mad at him in the same day.
 
    “Of course not! That’s… It's abuse. You don’t think that I’d do something
like that, do you?” He's appalled that Alex would even entertain the idea of
him hitting his boyfriend. That's so not on. He couldn’t ever hurt his Lexi
like that, who wouldn’t have a damn chance of fighting back, who couldn’t do
anything to stop him. He couldn’t take advantage of him like that. Use him
as though he's a punching bag.
 
    “Then why is it okay for him to do it to you, T?”
 
    It’s fucking nickname that kills him every single time. Lexi uses it maybe
once every few weeks, and it’s always accompanied by those big, doe-ish eyes
staring up at him and with a little bit of a pout.
 
    “It’s just… It just is, okay? He’s my dad. I have to listen to what he
says. You listen to Washington, right? It’s the same thing. Washington is just…
a different kind of parent, right? He’s a little more lenient with you. Papa
just wants me to be perfect. He makes me more perfect by, y’know, hurting me
sometimes. And the schedules, but it’s not… He doesn’t hit me in the face. And
the schedules are just-” Thomas looks away, anywhere but at Alexander.
 
    “Don’t even try to excuse the schedules. Babe, you can’t use the bathroom
when you want. You have to beg that- that monster for the fucking key. And when
he doesn’t give it to you? You have to fucking go in your pants. That’s not
fucking okay. You shouldn’t have to go through that.” The shorter boy purses
his lips like he’s in a moment of deep thought. “You have to tell someone about
what he does to you or I will.”
 
    Thomas freezes completely, not daring to even breathe too loudly. No. If
Alex told then they’d take Papa away from him and he can’t them do that because
he’s all that he’s got left. He wouldn’t have anything without Papa because
Papa’s his entire world and if he didn’t have Papa then he’d have no one to
keep him on his schedules or punish him for acting out.
 
    “Please. I’ll do whatever you want, just… not that. Please, don’t make me
do that. He’s all that I’ve got. He’s the only thing that I have. Please.” When
he finally dares to speak his eyes go as wide as saucers and he looks down at
his feet.
Chapter End Notes
     Wow, that was a shitty ending. You should totally tell me about that
     in the comments ;)
     I have a 2000% chance of answering you.
***** Chapter 4 *****
Chapter Summary
     Thomas and Alex fight some more, and Thomas starts to understand
     something.
Chapter Notes
     Warnings for: Implied transphobia, Implied homophobia, both internal
     and external, and Mentions of child abuse.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
     They end up going to Washington’s house, like always. Any time they’re
together, they come here. Thomas knows damn well that Peter’s paid off the
maids and they’d snitch if they saw the two of them together. It’s a familiar
place. He’s been here late at night and through days where he and his boyfriend
skip school enough to be comfortable there. He knows how to get out in case
Washington comes home.
 
     “You hungry?” Usually, Alex wouldn’t bother offering him food, knowing
that it’s a waste of breath, but apparently today he’s in a mood to get Thomas
to break every single one of his rules. He shakes his head, sitting down on the
couch. According to his reflection in the darkened television screen, he looks
like someone just killed his best friend.
 
     He’s not really allowed to look in mirrors. Sure, he catches a glimpse of
himself here and there, but it’s something that’s always been discouraged. Papa
said that he didn’t want him to be too vain, and Mama… He swallows thickly at
the memory of her, pushing those thoughts from his mind.
 
     Alex comes over to sit next to him, bowl of Froot Loops in hand. Way too
much milk and a dusting of extra sugar on the top of them. “You have a date for
prom yet?” He asks through a mouth full of cereal, flipping through the
channels and settling on some random Law & Order reruns.
 
     “I thought that we were going together?” Thomas feels his breath quicken.
Is this how Alexander is going to break up with him? He knew that it would
happen eventually, but certainly not this soon. He’s not ready for this yet.
 
     “Well, yeah, but you’re gonna have to have a fake date. You can’t exactly
introduce me and your dad. Unless…” He lets his voice trail off, and Thomas
groans. They’ve talked about this a hundred times. He couldn’t do something for
his own benefit that would make his Alexander that dysphoric.
 
     “No. Absolutely not. You know how I feel about the idea of you in a dress
and pretending to be a girl. I’m taking my boyfriend to the prom whether he
likes it or not and my boyfriend will be wearing a tuxedo with a tie that
matches mine.” The taller boy crosses his arms, eyes slightly narrowed. He’d
known Alexander since he was placed with the Washingtons - five years ago - and
he’d only been known as a girl named Sarah for a few weeks before realizing
that he was, in fact, a boy.
 
     “But that’d just make it so much easier! Then you could introduce me to
your dad, and we’d be able to  really  go together!” Alex protests, setting
aside his food. Shit. The only thing that Alex likes more than food is arguing.
Fuck. Fucking fuckity fuck.
 
      “You know how depressed you get after you get dysphoric! What the fuck do
you think that wearing a dress and pretending to be a girl is gonna go for
you?!” Thomas stands, practically towering over the Alexander. Alexander, whose
eyes are filled with none of the sadness they were before. No, they’re now
blazing with a burning, bright, violent fire. “I can’t have you all sad and
wanting to kill yourself just because you- Because you want to pretend to be
something that you’re not for my sake!”
 
     “Pretending to be something that I’m not? I would know a lot about that,
wouldn’t I?” Alex’s eyes narrow to nothing more than slits of pupil. “You don’t
think that I remember how you  treated  me?! What you called me?!” He jabs
Thomas in the chest, lips forming an ugly sneer.
 
     “I said that I was sorry about that. I didn’t know any better, and I- You
know what I used to think! You know  why  I used to think what I used to
think!” God, he can see it. He feels a little bit sick with the thought of how
he used to be. Who a part of him still is, deep inside his heart.
 
     “Yeah, because the piece of shit that you call your father brainwashed you
into it! Because he made you think that you were wrong, that I was wrong, and
that this-” Alex drags him forward and into a bruising kiss. He pulls away
after a moment, panting a little. “Is wrong. So, you tell me, Thomas. Is this
wrong?”
 
     “No.” He says quietly, looking down at his feet. He’s so stupid. God, he
shouldn’t have ever come here. He should have stayed at school, he never should
have gotten mixed up in the beautiful, colorful, blindingly bright flurry of
color and passion that he calls his boyfriend in the first place. But here he
is, for better or for worse. “No, it’s not wrong. I shouldn’t have ever thought
that it was wrong, but you know how he is about stuff like that.” When he looks
back up, there’s Alex.
 
     “You know what would  really  make me feel better right now?” Alex cracks
a grin, teeth blindingly bright and perfect. It’s so beautiful that Thomas
can’t help but smile back.
 
     “Magical Thomas Jefferson Healing Dick (Patent Pending)?” He laughs, a
low, rumbly sound that comes somewhere from deep in his chest. It’s been an
ongoing joke for most of their relationship that Thomas’s dick has magic
healing powers. It’s not unknown for Alexander to refer to it as his ‘staff’
when he wants to get his boyfriend all flustered.
Chapter End Notes
     Comment and Alex will suck Thomas's dick. Maybe. A few chapters from
     now.
***** Chapter 5 *****
Chapter Summary
     Alexander is stubborn, much to his own detriment.
Chapter Notes
     Warnings for: Implied/Referenced Gender Dysphoria, Implied/Referenced
     Homo/Transphobia, and Implied/Referenced Child Abuse. And another
     shitty ending.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
     Alex is most definitely going to be the death of him. Because, one, he
showed up to school that day looking distinctly feminine. Wearing a  skirt  for
God’s sakes. He looks extremely uncomfortable when Thomas sits down next to him
in first period.
 
     “Hey, baby,” Alexander says with a small smile, resting his hand on
Thomas’s shoulder. The taller boy frowns, taking note of the different way Alex
styled his hair. A single French braid. He’s been known to wear it in a bun or
a ponytail, but this is completely and totally unprecedented. He didn't even
know that Alex  could  do a French braid.
 
     “What the fuck are you doing?” Thomas narrows his eyes a little. “Where’s
your binder? Shit, I thought that you said that the Washingtons knew and were
okay with you being trans? Double shit. Fucking shit fuck.” He’s practically
thinking himself into a panic attack. He knows George and Martha, and they
wouldn’t make Alex present femininely, but he can never be too sure. He can
never be too sure with Alex-
 
     “Thomas, relax. It’s not like that, okay? I just thought that  maybe  you
could take me home with you tonight? Introduce me to your dad?” Alexander bites
his lip and Thomas’s stomach drops. He can’t do that. He won’t do that. “‘Cause
if he thinks you have a girlfriend he’ll get off your ass a little, right?”
 
     The taller boy’s eyes fall on Alex’s chest. A little cross necklace. And
his boyfriend suddenly smells like lavender and he can’t do this. “I can’t
pretend that you’re my girlfriend. I- I can’t.”
 
     “You can, though. It’ll be  fine , baby boy. Just call Peter and tell him
that you want to bring me over and, shit, I’ll even change into a dress if
that’s what you think would be best. This is kind of important to me. I want to
know my boyfriend’s dad, even if he is an abusive, manipulative, controlling
piece of-” Alex cuts himself short with an uneasy laugh. “I just don’t want you
to be ashamed of me. Even if he’s not seeing the  real  me, I want him to meet
what he’d think that I was anyway. He’d just think that I was some confused
girl that needed to get herself straightened out. You honestly tell me that if
he knew that you were dating a trans dude, he wouldn’t get on your ass about
how my chromosomes should define every single fucking aspect of my life.”
 
     “Mr. Hamilton, is there something that you and Mr. Jefferson would like to
share with the class?” Franklin cuts in just in time, looking over his glasses
like he can read their minds. Thomas sighs shakily, shifting in his seat.
 
     “No, sir.” Alex mumbles, cheeks tinged pink.
 
     “Good. Now, if you’ll all meet me on page one hundred and thirty-eight of
your textbooks. The American Revolution…” Thomas honestly can’t pay attention
to the lesson. History is one of his best subjects, seconded only by debate,
but… There’s this crushing weight on his chest that he can’t get off no matter
how hard he tries. Alexander looks so fucking uncomfortable in that skirt.
 
     Lunch is nothing short of a blessing. He and Alex have very different
friend groups and, as a result, sit on almost completely opposite sides of the
cafeteria. He picks at his salad, barely paying attention to Martha and James’s
pointless chattering.
 
     His next blessing is his free period. That means that he can plead his
case to Papa. He’d hate for Alex to go through all this trouble for him and
have nothing come out of it. He picks his father’s contact and chews on his
nails while he waits for him to pick up.
 
     “Yes?” Peter sounds very unbothered by the call, especially considering
he’s at work. “I’m sure that you have better things to be doing with this time,
Tommy, so please make this quick.”
 
     “Do you think that my…” Thomas sighs before just spitting it out. “Do you
think that my girlfriend could come over tonight for dinner? She’s, um- Her
name is Sarah and she’s George Washington’s foster daughter.” It feels so wrong
to use Alexander’s deadname like this. Using the wrong pronouns. Reminds him of
who he used to be.
 
     “I’m sure that I could get Betty to whip something up. I’m glad that
you’ve finally taken interest in a girl. How long have you been together?”
 
     “It’s been a few months. I just wanted to make sure that things were going
really, really well before I brought her home.”
 
     “Christian?”
 
     “Episcopal.”
 
     His father hums appreciatively and Thomas can’t help but breathe a sigh of
relief. This is already going better than he thought it would. As much as he
doesn’t like lying, he sure as shit doesn’t want Papa finding out about who
Alexander really is.
 
     “I love you, Tommy.”
 
     “I love you too, sir.”
 
     Peter hangs up without another word, and Thomas shoves his phone back into
his pocket. What the hell is he even doing? His boyfriend is going to pretend
to be a girl for his sake and he’s enabling it. This whole thing is fucked. If
Alex was less headstrong, he could have maybe convinced him that this was a
shit idea, but no. He has the most stubborn boyfriend he could have possibly
picked.
 
     The rest of the day is painfully slow, and Thomas can feel himself getting
more and more anxious as it progresses. He picks Alexander outside of his
Calculus class with little more than a kiss.
 
     “What’s up, baby?” Alex bites his lip once they’re in the car, his eyes
more than revealing his worry. “Did I… Did I do something?”
 
     “No, it’s not that. Well, it’s kind of that. You don’t have to do this. I
can just take you home and I’ll probably take a beating, but it’s not going to
be a-” He sees his boyfriend tense and stops himself short.
 
     They drive to Thomas’s home without much more conversation, and he’s
practically buzzing with nerves when he opens the door. Peter smiles, standing
up from where he was waiting by the door.
Chapter End Notes
     Come fite me on tumblr: https://adreamoftinysideshows.tumblr.com/
***** Chapter 6 *****
Chapter Summary
     Alex is headstrong, Thomas is scared, and if you don't hate Peter
     already, you sure fucking will.
Chapter Notes
     Warnings for: Sexism, Misgendering of a Trans Man, and Child Abuse.
     “Now, Betty was already planning on a big dinner for tonight. Sarah, do
you have any food allergies that I should know about?” Peter motions toward the
kitchen once the young couple has their shoes by the door. Thomas flinches at
Alexander’s deadname, but the other teen seems unbothered by it.
 
     “No… I mean, I get headaches when I eat Nutter Butters sometimes, but
that’s not really an allergy. Your home is very nice, um, sir.” Alex smiles,
following him closely.
      This is good, this is good, Alexander is doing well, just keep your mouth
shut and don’t say anything out of the ordinary and no one will get mad at you.
Just keep your head down and only speak when spoken to and don’t say anything
that Papa wouldn’t like and he doesn’t have to be angry. You don’t have to make
him angry, just be a good boy. Just be good and he won’t hit you, he won’t-
 
     “Please, call me Peter. I’m sure that Tommy can tell you all about how
fantastic a cook Betty is. We’re having a full six courses tonight, so I hope
you’re hungry.” Papa pats Alex on the back, guiding him into a chair at the
table.
 
     “Oh, yeah, Betty’s great in the kitchen. I mean, yeah, she’s really a good
cook.”
 
      Of course, it has to be a full meal. Of course, you can’t just get off
easy with just dinner and nothing else. No, this is going to take three goddamn
hours instead of just the one and that’s two extra hours at least that
Alexander is going to be here and could see Papa hurt you, you stupid little-
 
     “Are you alright, son?”
 
     Thomas doesn’t have time to answer because Betty, God bless that woman, is
bringing out three plates with stuffed endive on them. She’s in and out, only
lingering for long enough that Thomas can say a quiet ‘thank you’.
 
     “Tommy, do you want to say grace tonight?” Papa asks, taking Thomas’s and
Alex’s hands in his own. They form a triangle like that, Papa at the head of
it.
 
     “Yes, sir. Thank you.” Grace is good. He can’t fuck this up. “ M-Most
Holy, Righteous and everywhere present God, our Father who art in Heaven, we
ask thy blessing upon this- upon this food. Bless the hearts and hands that
provide the same. And when it is ours to pass from time to eternity, o-own us
and crown us heirs to Thy kingdom. These favors and blessings we ask in the
name of Christ, our Great Redeemer. Amen.” Thomas lets out a breath that he
hadn’t been consciously holding, squeezing Alex’s hand before letting go.
 
     “Have you thought about children, Sarah?”
 
     Alexander almost spits out his sparkling water when he hears Papa’s voice,
and he looks to Thomas for guidance. He can offer nothing but a small tilt of
his head.
 
     “Well, I want to go to law school before anything else. Maybe I’ll have
kids after that, but I don’t really know for sure. Just a couple, not an entire
baseball team, y’know?” The shorter boy locks his jaw, and Thomas has to force
himself to hold in a relieved sigh.
 
     “That’s a bit ambitious, don’t you think? You’ll have to settle down at
some point and give my son at least a couple of little boys. We  have  to have
an heir to the company and a few more to split up the inheritance.” Peter
flashes a smile, but it’s noticeably strained.
 
     “Sarah certainly has the grades for it, though. Valedictorian, Columbia
bound. Her grades are even better than mine. And I thought that I told you,
Papa? I don’t really want kids all that much.” Thomas doesn’t want to hurt his
own kids like M- No. He won’t think about her right now.
 
     “I find that hard to believe. Who knows? Maybe something will change. I
need little grandsons running around this place.”
 
     “Grand sons ? What about granddaughters?” Alex’s voice is getting slightly
louder, but he’s not yelling yet. Shit, Thomas has to find some way to change
the subject of conversation. He has to prevent a massive argument from breaking
out.
 
     “Granddaughters will marry well. We don’t have to worry about them so
much. It’s not as though the company will have a woman for a CEO. That’s never
happened, and I intend for things to stay that way. Granddaughters won’t need
the inheritance.” Papa frowns, starting to sound more than a little
condescending. Shit, shit-
 
     Okay, french onion soup is here. He can eat soup and pretend to be happy.
 
     “I respect that you have your own opinion. Children are a maybe for me,
and I’m sure that they’re a maybe for Thomas as well. Who knows if something
could happen? I’m not going to say that I never want them.” Alexander, in a
rare show of surrender, shrugs his shoulders and blows on a spoonful of his
soup. “This is absolutely delicious, by the way. I’m not always a fan of french
onion, but this is great.”
 
     The rest of the dinner passes peacefully for the most part. Alexander
doesn’t say anything more to provoke Papa and Papa doesn’t say much more that
would cause Alexander to say anything. It’s good.
 
     “We’ll talk about this tomorrow, okay?” Thomas mumbles, kissing Alex
goodbye at the door. Martha is already here to pick him up, looking rather
impatient from where she sits in her car.
 
     When he gets back into the house, he’s greeted by Papa’s angry face.
 
     “P-Papa- I don’t know how to apologize… But I’m sorry. I’m really, really
sorry.”
 
     “Get your shower done and over with, brush your teeth, come downstairs and
get your medicine, and then go to sleep. This isn’t negotiable. No bathroom
break tonight, no time for television or homework, none of it. If you want to
bring someone that you know is going to be disrespectful into my home, I’ll
make your grades suffer for it.” Peter’s voice is dangerously calm as he points
upstairs.
 
     “Yes, sir. I’m sorry.”
 
     “No, you’re not. But you will be when you wake up in a puddle of your own
filth in the morning. You disgust me. Go.” He shoves Thomas forward roughly,
lips twisted into an ugly sort of sneer.
***** Chapter 7 *****
Chapter Summary
     Peter is angry and Martha Wayles is a literal life saver.
Chapter Notes
     Warnings for: Child Abuse and Non-Consensual Drug Use.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
     Thomas wakes up to his father looking down at him intensely. Apparently,
he hasn't been forgiven yet.
 
     “You lied to me. You broke a rule and you lied about it. I'm ashamed,
Tommy.” Papa's eyes are flitting from the blanket back up to Thomas. There's
nothing wrong with anything in the room at the moment, nothing that would cause
anything like this.
 
     “Papa, I don't know what you mean, but I didn't break a rule. I promise
that I did everything that you wanted me to.” He’s still groggy from sleeping
last night, something that his pills always did to him. He didn’t really want
to take them, per say, but he wasn’t given much of a choice. If he refused,
they’d just end up slipped into his nightly glass of water or he’d have to use
‘special toothpaste’.
 
     Don’t be scared, don’t be scared. He won’t hurt you without a reason, and
he won’t hit your face. He won’t break any of his rules for himself. You don’t
have to worry that he’s going to hurt you more than you deserve. You deserve
this, just take your punishment and don’t complain. Don’t be a little bitch,
Tommy.
 
     “And now you’re lying about lying. I don’t know who you are or what you’ve
done with my sweet, obedient son, but I’d like him back. You used the potty,”
Papa says the word mockingly, as though he’s speaking to a seven-year-old
instead of a seventeen-year-old. “without permission. If you hadn’t, you’d be
soaked with your own urine, and I know for a fact that you wouldn’t change your
sheets and pajamas without me telling you that you’re allowed.”
 
     Thomas then realizes that Papa’s still wearing his own pajamas. That’s not
a good sign. It’s only Wednesday, he has to work. “I- Is something going on?
Why aren’t you dressed to go to the office?” He bites his lip, looking away.
 
     “I’m keeping both of us home for the rest of the week. If you won’t listen
to me, then you’re going to have to be punished. Severely. I didn’t want to
have to do this, son, but my hand has been forced.” Papa forces Thomas to look
at him, the older man smiling almost sadly.
 
     “Because you don’t know how lucky you are. And, really, you are. You’re
lucky that I let you eat at all. You’re lucky that I let you keep that mess
that you call your hair, and you’re especially lucky that you’re allowed to
sleep in a nice warm bed and use the bathroom. I could be so much worse to you,
and if you’re not going to be grateful, then I’m going to have to show you how
bad this could really be. How far some fathers take disciplining their
obnoxious, disobedient, irritating children.” Papa pulls a glass of orange
juice of the end table (how had that gotten there?) and presses it to Thomas’s
lips.
 
     “If you spill a single drop of this, you little brat, you won’t be able to
sit without wanting to cry for three weeks.”
 
     He has to gulp it down extremely quickly to avoid getting it everywhere,
hardly having any time to breathe. He wants to spit it out because he’s eighty-
seven percent certain that he’s being drugged, but there’s nothing that he can
do. It’s just better for him to drink it down and accept the consequences of
his own goddamn actions.
 
     “Th- Thank you, Papa.”
 
     “You’re very welcome, son. There’s a good boy. You know, maybe I should
homeschool you. Then you wouldn’t have to leave me. After your Mama… Well,
let’s just say that you’re all that I have left. I love you so much. You know…”
Peter’s smile is almost blinding, and Thomas’s heart practically swells at the
sight. He’s done well! He’s pleased Papa!
 
     Unfortunately, he doesn’t hear any more of what his father has to say.
He’s fallen back on his pillow somehow, and a nap sounds absolutely delightful.
His bed is really warm and cozy after all, and he could use the sleep. The more
sleep, the better, Papa’s always said. He lets himself succumb to the darkness,
sighing contentedly.
 
      ---
 
     “Oh my God, Tom?” Martha practically shrieks, eyes wide as saucers.
 
     Thomas is aware that he doesn’t exactly look his best. He hasn’t eaten and
he’s had the shit beaten out of him at least four times since Wednesday. He
shouldn’t even be out of the house. Papa would hurt him even more if he knew.
    
     “When you didn’t show up at school me and Jemmy got so worried and
Alexander’s been looking everywhere for you!” Her lips are moving a mile a
minute, and Thomas doesn’t really understand what’s being said in his drugged
haze, but he does know one thing.
 
     “Marty, you gotta help me. Please, get me away from Papa. You have to get
me away.” He’s shocked by the sound of his own voice, like he’s some lost kid.
Martha’s jaw actually drops and she pulls her phone out of her pocket. “Who are
you calling?” He whimpers, shielding his face instinctively. He just spoke out
of turn, and that’s bad. He shouldn’t have done that.
 
    “Children’s Services,” She says simply, dialing a number that she obviously
has memorized.
 
    “But…”
 
    “No buts. You asked me to get you away from that monster, and that’s what
I’m going to do. Daddy still has his foster license and I’m sure that he’d take
you in.” Later, Thomas would come to realize that Martha was making the best
decision that anyone had ever made for him, but now he’s just terrified.
 
    “Police are bad.” He says softly, bouncing his knees a little. He’s already
going to be in enough trouble when he gets home. He doesn’t need to make more
for himself.
 
    “I’d like to report an instance of child abuse?” Martha is already taking
to the person on the other end of the call, telling them everything that she
knows. There’s so much more that she doesn’t, though. Things that no one knows.
Chapter End Notes
     Now that Thomas is getting away from Peter, things are going to get
     worse before they get better. What do you think is going to happen?
     What's the worst part of all of this? Do you hate Peter Jefferson
     yet?
***** Chapter 8 *****
Chapter Summary
     Thomas moves in with Martha and meets someone new.
Chapter Notes
     Warnings for: Discussion of Child Abuse and some psychiatric stuff.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
     The home of John Wayles, The Forest, is nothing like Thomas is used to.
For one, it’s much less gloomy. Someone is always making noise. All of the
girls running around makes him feel much more at ease, too. He doesn’t have to
be scared of them. Girls have soft hands, and soft hands don't hit. They
sometimes do other things, but at least they don't  hurt. Martha and her
stepmom and her sisters outnumber Thomas and John and the only son two to one,
and that seriously sets him at ease.
 
     Martha’s only full sister is named Lilly, and they’d met a few times
before then. She and her twin brother Logan are a year older than them, but
they still live at home. She has four half sisters, Sarah, Elizabeth, Tabitha,
and Anne, in that order. Marty’s stepmom, Mary, is extremely kind, showing
Thomas to the guest room as soon as he arrives and doesn’t push him to answer
questions.
 
     He would have to tell the cops about everything that happened with Papa
later, but he didn’t want anyone to know about that before they had to.
 
     “Are you doing alright, TJ? Daddy’s been worried about you since he found
out about… y’know.” Martha’s voice is quiet as she steps forward. She’s been
looking at him different since he got there, like he’s some kind of a space
alien or something. Or maybe he’s grown a second head. Whatever he’s done to
upset her, he wants to fix it so she doesn’t look at him like that any more.
 
    “I’m perfectly fine, Marty. I would have been fine even if you would have
just let me stay with Papa. You were just trying to help me, I get that, but
you didn’t have to. And once I can talk to the police about how this is all
just one big misunderstanding, I’ll be back at home with Papa and we’ll be a
family again. It’s going to be okay. I’m going to be okay.” Thomas smiles in a
way that he hopes is reassuring, but his face falls when he sees Martha
actually cringe.
 
     “Honey, what he did to you… Is that how you're supposed to treat someone
that you love? Is that how you'd treat Alexander, or me, or Jemmy? You're not
safe with him. Home is supposed to be a safe place, where you don't have to
worry about being hurt.” Martha sighs and sits down next to him on the bed. She
keeps her voice quiet, sort of like how Mama used to do after- The thought
sends an actual shiver down his spine.
 
     “What was he supposed to do, then? Just let me run around without any
respect for the people that are better, older, and more experienced than me? He
was just helping me the best way he knew how. Just punishing me the way that he
thought would help me the most. I can’t- I can’t resent Papa for doing what he
thought was right.” Thomas bites his lip, trying to argue, but he’s just tired.
Tired of people telling him lies about Papa, that he’s bad or abusive or
whatever way they want to put it. He just wants to be alone with Papa and happy
with him again. “Please, no amount of guilting me is going to change my mind.”
 
     “Mary and Daddy don’t punish me like that. I get grounded. I get my phone
taken away. Neither of them have ever laid a hand on me, and they don’t intend
to. Now, can you please just answer my question? Would you make Alexander ask
to go to the bathroom? Would you make him sleep outside?”
 
     “It’s different. I’m not Alex’s father, and he doesn’t do anything- He’s
perfect. I’m so, so imperfect. Those two things aren’t even close to the same.
Can you please just let this go? Please?”
 
     “Daddy told me to tell you that you have a court-ordered appointment with
a therapist tomorrow. That’s why I came up here in the first place. If you
really want me to leave, I will. I just don’t want to see you hurting like this
anymore.” Marty closes the door behind her softly, leaving Thomas alone to cry
his eyes out.
 
     ---
 
     “So, you were taken away from your father. Can you tell me why that is?”
 
     The therapist, a woman who had introduced herself as Amelie, had a very
quiet voice with a hint of an English accent. Her office was covered from top
to bottom in purple of every shade, and Thomas can’t help but think that it
looks very pretty. The only hint of non-purple color in the room is the silver
frame of the lavender painting on the wall. Even her desk is a wood that was
stained a deep maroon.
 
     “Well, my friend Martha… She got concerned that maybe Papa was hurting me.
And she called Children’s Services because of that.” Thomas dips his head and
shrugs, not meeting Amelie’s eyes. She writes something down in her book.
 
     “And how do you feel about your friend Martha telling?”
 
     “I mean… I know that she was just doing what she thinks is best. But I’m
almost… sad, because now I have to go through all of this rigamarole just to
see Papa again. He didn’t do anything wrong, and now he’s sitting in prison.”
He doesn’t look up, eyes laser-focused on the bright magenta carpet beneath his
feet.
 
     “Why is he in prison, then?” The soft tone of her voice, very non-
accusational, is so shocking he has to lift his head. He’s used to people being
angry with him for not blaming Papa for what happened. She’s not angry, she’s
just curious.
 
     “Well, he spanks me, sometimes, but only if I’m bad. And sometimes he cuts
back on my television time and… other things. And Martha got worried that the
medicine he gives me every night before bed isn’t what he says it is, even
though Papa would never do anything to really hurt me.”
 
     “I’ve been made familiar with your case, so I’d like to ask you some
questions about more specific topics, alright?” She turns her book to a
different page, and Thomas thinks a second before nodding. “This says here that
you weren’t allowed to use the bathroom if you needed it, only in special
circumstances. Can you tell me why that is?”
 
     “It was supposed to teach me self control.” Thomas does nothing like
blink, like it’s the most obvious thing in the whole world. “He wouldn’t
usually let me go before bedtime, but throughout the day, and any time I needed
during school. It was just so I would get on a schedule for stuff like that.
And, well… Don’t tell him, but that’s the rule that I broke the most.”
 
     “Remember, Thomas. Everything that you tell me is confidential, unless
you’re planning on hurting yourself or others.”
 
     With that, he completely spills his guts to the woman. Her pen can hardly
keep up with the speed he’s talking. He feels so much better afterward, like a
whole ton has been lifted off his chest.
Chapter End Notes
     Historical notes:
     John Wayles had seven legitimate children.
     His first wife, Martha Eppes Wayles, had three children. A set of
     fraternal twins, and Martha Wayles, who would later become Martha
     Jefferson. The twins were ill-fated. The daughter was stillborn and
     the son only lived for a few hours.
     His second wife, Mary Cocke Wayles, had four daughters, Sarah,
     Elizabeth, Tabitha, and Anne. Sarah died young.
     Of course, there was also his relationship with Betty Hemings. This
     is not included in the story for narrative-related reasons, but it
     should not be ignored that John Wayles was a racist, rapist piece of
     shit.
     I included even the children that died very young because I liked the
     idea of Thomas, an only child born to shitty parents, being thrust
     into a huge and loving family. (Of course, the real Thomas Jefferson
     had several siblings).
     Also, my_headcanon_for_Martha!
***** Chapter 9 *****
Chapter Summary
     I earn the Explicit rating and Thomas goes to see someone.
Chapter Notes
     Warnings for: Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced
     Rape/Non-Con, and sex between two consenting minors.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
   Thomas and Alex had a rare moment to themselves amongst all the chaos that
was their life. It was Sunday, so the Wayleses were at church, and the
Washingtons thought that Alex was with Lafayette. Thomas ended up underneath
his boyfriend while bruises were sucked down his neck.
 
    “Baby boy, if you knew how pretty you look right now it’d make your damn
head spin. Desperate and flushed and beautiful.” Alex murmurs, running his
hands over Thomas’s abdomen. Thomas whines under his attention, bucking his
hips in a desperate search for friction. God, he loves Alex. His boyfriend
always knows just how to take care of him, how to make him want with every cell
in his body.
 
    Alexander sinks down on him and he makes a noise that’s nothing short of
animalistic when that familiar, tight heat is wrapped around him. Because it’s
just Alex, above him and around him and everywhere, and he’s being used like
he’s a damn dildo and he’s loving every second of it.
 
    “Alex…” Thomas whimpers, only to have two fingers pressed into his mouth.
He sucks obediently, looking at his boyfriend through slightly hooded eyes.
 
    He comes almost painfully quickly. Alexander takes care of the condom for
him, while Thomas just lays there in post-orgasmic bliss. That's exactly what
he needed. Some sexual healing. Everything that's going on is tearing him up
and he just needs to fuck it all away.
 
    “Mm, I love you, T. You’re so pretty, you know that?” Alex says softly when
he’s laid back on the bed. He’s sort of half-draped over Thomas’s chest,
pressing kisses to the expanse of dark skin. “‘Cause someone should be telling
you all the time. Your hair is so soft and I just wanna kiss those nice, warm
lips of yours…”
 
    “Love you too, baby. Peter’s arraignment is in a few days. I’m gonna have
to go.” Thomas sighs, half from contentment, but half from all this stress. Who
knew that putting your abusive father behind bars where he belonged would be so
much work?
 
    “Fuck. That’s bullshit. ‘The rights of the accused’ my left asscheek.
Fucker beat the shit out of you, starved you, and made you shit yourself and
you still have to be in the same room as him. It’s not fair to you. Not even
close.” Alexander frowns, sitting up slightly.
 
    “That’s actualky something that I wanted to talk to you about. I think that
I should go see him, while he’s still behind bars. Because if the jury decides-
”
 
    “They won’t.”
 
    “Anyway, if the jury decides that he’s not guilty, I want to be able to see
him while it’s still safe. While he can’t lay a hand on me and there’ll be an
armed guard in the room.”
 
    “I don’t like it, but you know that I won’t try and stop you. Just- Just be
careful.If this is something that you really, really want, I think that you
should, as long as you take all the necessary precautions and make sure that
someone with a gun is in the same room as you. I just want to make sure that
you’re going to be okay. If seeing the piece of shit that abused you is going
to bring you some kind of fucked up closure… I think that that’s what would be
best.” Alex hums, tracing circles on Thomas’s chest.
 
    “I really do think that it would help. But you wouldn’t be mad? If that was
something that i wanted to do?”
 
    “Baby boy, I’ll never be mad at you for doing what you want, so long as
you’re not hurting yourself or somebody else. You know that. I love you, and
I’m not going to hold you back.” Alex finds himself fascinated with watching
Thomas’s hair poof back up when he pets it, and Thomas can’t help the sigh of
relief that leaves him.
 
---
 
    Peter looks… more rough around the edges than what Thomas is expecting.
Clearly prison isn’t going well for him. But his eyes brighten somewhat when he
sees his son, and Thomas can’t help but preen under that. He put that happiness
there. It’s one of the most fucked up things about the way that Papa used to
treat him.
 
    “Hi, Papa.” Thomas forces the endearment out through gritted teeth, sitting
awkwardly across from his father. The older man smiles softly, shifting where
he himself sits.
 
    “A man can’t give his own goddamn son a hug in this place. It’s ridiculous.
Don’t you think so?” Peter looks warily towards the guard and shrinks a little.
The boy suddenly feels a little foolish for having feared him for so long. He’s
a damn coward.
 
    “To be fair, most men weren’t arrested for starving and beating said son.”
He shrugs, not afraid of speaking out against his father for the first time in
a long time. Peter grimaces, clenching his fists.
 
    “Don’t you dare take that tone with me, Tommy. We both know that once I’m
out of here, you’re going to be crawling back to me. No matter what the cops
try and say to brainwash you. We both know that you know that I’m not a bad
person. Because I’m not. A bad person, that is. I was misguided, but I wasn’t
doing anything wrong. Wayles keeping you on your schedules, or have you managed
to fuck that up, too?”
 
    “I’ve actually learned some interesting things since Children’s Services
came and took me away from the house where you- What happened isn’t important.
No, he doesn’t. I’m allowed to snack and drink what I want when I want it and I
don’t have to take pills and I can sleep for however long I want. Not to
mention he doesn’t starve me for using the bathroom when I need it.” Thomas
flinches, expecting to be yelled at, or worse. But he soldiers on, undaunted by
the much stronger and taller man that sits in front of him.
 
    “And my name isn’t Tommy. My name is Thomas. Two syllables, six letters,
two vowels, and four consonants. I’m ‘T’ or ‘TJ’ to my friends. ‘Tom’ to Papaw
and Grammy. You can call me Thomas and nothing else. You took away everything
from me. My childhood. My sense of security. You let Mama take away my damn
virginity. You don’t get to take away my name on top of everything else that
was stolen from me. I’m done here, and I’m done with you. You don’t deserve to
be called Papa. Papa is a name for a parent. Someone that cares about his
fucking child and doesn’t starve him. Doesn’t rent him out, sell his body like
he’s nothing but a damn toy.”
 
     Thomas looks to the guard, who opens the door for him. He leaves a silent
Peter in the room alone without so much as a glance in his direction.
Chapter End Notes
     Some pretty big revelations, eh? Tell me what you think in the
     comments.
     Also, thank you so much for 1k hits! That means a lot to me!
***** Chapter 10 *****
Chapter Summary
     Author skips everything courtroom-related and gets to some fairly
     fluffy romance.
Chapter Notes
     Warnings for: Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-Con, but it's so quick and
     vague you'll blink and miss it.
      Guilty .
 
      Guilty.
 
      Guilty.
 
     Barely a half an hour of deliberation.
 
     Your testimony sealed it.
 
     Doctor's examination.
 
     He’s going to rot in prison.
 
     Sentencing on Monday.
 
     At least a life sentence.
 
     You’ll never have to see him again.
 
     Stay with John and Mary and Marty until your birthday, and they’ll even
keep you after that if you need them to.
 
     You'll have your trust fund when you turn eighteen.
 
     You can do this.
 
     You have to be able to do this.
 
     Be brave.
 
     You're not brave. You're a coward. A weak coward.
 
     Mama always said that you were brave. You were brave to take Papa’s
punishments without complaining and you could always keep quiet when she came
into your room.
 
     Thomas shakes his head, pushing those thoughts out of his mind. He should
be celebrating. This should feel great. Jemmy and Marty brought him
snickerdoodles from that bakery that he likes.
 
     Alexander had hugged him, kissed him outside the courthouse.
 
     He should be happy. Instead, he just feels… empty. Mama didn’t love him
like she said. Papa doesn’t love him like he still says to this day, right
after they passed each other in the courtroom. Said that he forgave him and
everything.
 
     Instead, everything is wrong. His father, the man who was supposed to be
there for him through thick and thin, who was supposed to take care of him, was
now recognized by the general public and the justice system alike as a monster.
And Thomas? He was the helpless victim. People looked at him with pity when he
passed them in the halls of their school. Random strangers told him that things
would get better. It almost reminds him of the way people had acted when Mama
died.
 
     In a way, he’s lost his only surviving parent. He’ll never see him without
reinforced glass between them or an armed guard in the room ever again. They’ll
never eat dinner together ever again. They’ll never swap Christmas presents.
Thomas won’t ever earn a movie night with extra popcorn. He won’t ever have to
go to church again. He won’t ever sing in the choir again. He won’t ever get to
see Papa smile at him when he’s done well.
 
     What does college matter if he won't have anyone at his graduation? No one
to take teary-eyed pictures as he holds his diploma.
 
     And that all just hurts. Maybe he shouldn't have ever gone out of his way
to see Martha that day. Maybe he shouldn’t have told anyone anything. His
little secret that he shared with his parents. Instead, it’s public record and
everyone in the world knows or could know with very little searching.
 
     “Baby? We don’t have to go out tonight if you don’t want. I’m sure that
George would order us a pizza if I asked him to and we could just watch old
movies in the basement? Are you in a Molly Ringwald mood or a Winona Ryder
mood?” Alex says softly, taking Thomas’s hand. The taller boy hadn’t even
realized his boyfriend was speaking. He forces a smile, bringing Alexander’s
knuckles to his lips.
 
     “That sounds perfect, actually. It’s been a long day, and I really don’t
know if I’m feeling up to talking to people that… That don’t really know me?
About everything that happened. Definitely a Winona mood.” Thomas shrugs a
little, looking down.
 
     It was just so… Public. One of America’s richest men was actually an
abusive, human trafficking piece of shit. He broke his son beyond repair,
pimped him out and beat him. Reporters had swarmed him for the first few weeks
after it all got out, but then they’d stopped. It wasn’t hot news after that
point. He’d been foolish and naive enough to think that maybe, just maybe,
people had forgotten all about it. That people wouldn’t see him as a whore any
more. A mouthpiece for abused kids. He doesn’t  want  any of this. He doesn't
want people to basically interrogate him about Mama and Papa. He just wants all
the noise to go away.
 
     “Then that’s what we’ll do. Pepperoni only?” Alexander smiles, knowing him
all too well as usual. “And then we’ll watch badass mom be a badass. Is this a
Heathers Winona day or a Beetlejuice Winona day?”
 
     “Heathers?”
 
     “You just want to fuck Christian Slater.”
 
     “Yeah, probably. Is there something  wrong  with me wanting to fuck
Christian Slater?”
 
     “Um, in Heathers he looked like he’d never seen a shower. So probably.
But, hey. You think that it’s weird that I want to fuck Morgan Freeman.” Alex
giggles, poking Thomas in the ribs gently.
 
     “One, he’s like eighty. Two, he’s fucking Morgan Freeman. If Tom Hanks is
America’s dad, he’s like America’s cool grandpa. Joe Biden’s our cool uncle and
Obama’s our sorta strict but sweet step-grandpa.” Thomas can’t help but laugh,
wrapping his arm around his boyfriend’s waist.
 
     “Maybe I have a Grandpa kink.”
 
     “You disgust me.”
 
     “You love it.”
 
     Alex drives them to the Washingtons’, singing along to the radio. He can’t
sing extremely well, but it seriously makes Thomas feel better.
 
     Their pizza takes all of fifteen minutes to get there, but they already
have Heathers cued up on DVD. It’s almost second nature at this point, they’ve
watched it together so many times. It’s not crazy good or anything, but it’s
really funny and they always get a good laugh out of it.
 
     “Heather Duke is such a bitch. I swear to god, I would have slapped the
shit out of her  way  sooner.” Thomas grumbles, taking another bite of his
pizza. Alexander just laughs, curling into him a little more. “I’m serious! She
had it coming! Heather Chandler was a massive asshole but at least she wasn’t
Duke.”
 
     “Where do you think bitching about a movie that’s been around longer than
you have is going to get you? Spoiler alert: There’s absolutely no point in
it.” Alex buries his face in Thomas’s chest, inhaling deeply. “You smell so
good, baby. So, so good. Like safety and home.”
***** Chapter 11 *****
Chapter Summary
     Thomas has to return to normalcy and James Reynolds is a prick.
Chapter Notes
     Warnings for: Homo/Transphobia, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
     “Sorry about everything that happened, dude. I mean… Yeah. That probably
sucks. Just wanted you to know that I’m glad that you’re okay?” Someone that
Thomas doesn’t even know the name of pats him on the shoulder with a bit of a
grimace. He couldn’t tell you the name of this kid.
 
     “Thanks.” He doesn’t know what else to say at this point. This is an
exchange that he has probably three or four times a day. He’s given the death
stare to a few Freshman, but anyone older than them has to be more subtly
dismissed. He doesn’t know what people  want  from him. Papa’s rules had been a
lot, but they were easy to remember. He always knew what was expected of him,
but he had to go and fuck it all up.
 
     People either see him as a fragile porcelain doll or damaged goods, and
it’s beyond frustrating.
 
     The bell rings and he sits down, fiddling with the hem of his standard
issue (and hella expensive) polo. That’s another easy rule. The school uniform
is something that he knows how to follow. Something’s either allowed or not
allowed. It’s black and white, and it’s very refreshing in the spectrum of
colors that is societal expectations.
 
      “Um, sir? I forgot my homework. I know that it’s a zero, but you should
just know. In case you’re wondering when I don’t pass it up.” This was
Calculus, not sixth grade math. Something was either turned in or a zero.
Surprisingly enough, the teacher doesn’t even bat an eyelash before tilting his
head to the side and smiling a little.
 
     “That’s fine, Thomas. Just get it in to me tomorrow, alright? Don’t worry
about it. You have enough to deal with.” He says quietly, looking up at his
student with a concerned expression. “I really am sorry about that, by the way.
It’s horrible, everything that happened to you. You’ve always been such an
exceptional student, and I never would have guessed that- Well, I never thought
that something like that could happen to someone that I actually knew.”
 
     “Thank you, sir.” Thomas could almost sigh from pure exhaustion. What are
people trying to accomplish by telling him they’re sorry? People that didn’t
give a rat’s ass before. The only people within these walls that actually care
about him are Jemmy, Marty, Laf, and Alex. They’re the only friends that he
needs, the only people that he needs to hear condolences from.
 
     “He might not have seen in coming, but the rest of us all did. You’ve
always been a damn  freak , Jefferson. Who knew that you were such a slut,
too?”
 
     Fucking shit. James motherfucking Reynolds. His girlfriend, Maria might be
her name, is super sweet, but he’s single handedly the biggest dick… ever.
Thomas hunches over in his seat a little, nervously nibbling on the end of his
pen.
 
     “What are you, fucking deaf? Or are you just that dumb? I'm talking to
you, you pathetic piece of shit. It's no wonder that your 'Papa’ did everything
he did. But you just can't fix stupid.” James's voice is absolutely venomous.
 
     “Stop it. Please, just stop it. I don't know what I did, but I didn't mean
to. I'm sorry.” Thomas whispers, curling his hands into his hair. All it would
take to rip it all out is one good tug. But he can't do that, because then he
wouldn't even be pretty, so he lets it go and clenches his fists by his sides.
 
     “Oh my God, you're pathetic. If it wasn't so sad it would almost be funny.
I bet that you'd just about give me anything I asked for. If I wanted you to
strip down naked right now and let me take you, you probably would let me.
'Course, I'm not a damn  fag  like you and your tranny girlfriend, but the
option’s still there.” James snorts, shaking his head.
 
     Oh, no. That shit is  so  not on. The moment that he brings Alex into this
is the moment that it's all over. All he can see is red as he stands and
punches Reynolds with everything he has. He can practically feel the other
boy's nose break under his fist. He’s not crazy strong or anything, but he has
some muscle on him. He doesn’t know what to say, if anything.
 
     Someone’s screaming, and it takes him an embarrassingly long time to
realize that it’s him. He’s screaming so loud that his curls are actually
shaking and his head is starting to hurt a little bit.
 
     “Alexander isn’t my  girlfriend ! He’s my boyfriend, you homophobic,
transphobic, waste of space piece of shit sorry excuse for a human being!”
 
     “Both of you, go down to the office! Now!” The teacher barks suddenly, and
the gravity of what he’s just done suddenly hits Thomas. He’s going to get
suspended, and then his grades are going to go down the toilet, and then he’ll
be going to some community college in a town that no one’s ever heard of. Shit.
 
     He looks at the floor with a laser focus all the way to the office. He
doesn’t know if he should apologize or if he should roll over and get fucked.
That’s the really fucked up part - His first instinct is to offer himself up
every time someone even gets kind of mad at him. Instead of punching his way
out or being a total pacifist when things get confrontational, he wants to fuck
whoever’s bigger and stronger. It’s totally fucked.
 
      Papa would be mad at you.
 
     Papa isn’t here.
     
     Papa isn’t here because of you.
 
     You had to go and bitch because that’s all you ever do.
 
     Why don’t you go and cry about it, you pathetic piece of shit?
 
     You should be able to handle this.

     He should have just let Papa kill him. That would have been so much better
than this. Now he's going to get in trouble and it's all going to be his fault.
Chapter End Notes
     My Thanksgiving present to you is a cliffhanger (sorta).
***** Chapter 12 *****
Chapter Summary
     There's an incident in the principal's office and Thomas goes home
     and things get sort of fluffy.
Chapter Notes
     Warnings for: A rape victim attempting to offer himself up and
     Implied/Referenced Homo/Transphobia.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
     “Thomas, you have a squeaky clean record. You have a 4.0 GPA. Why would
you get into a fight so close to graduation?” Mr. Adams sighs, resting his head
in his hands. The principal’s office is nice, Thomas supposes. The walls are a
comforting shade of blue. The chair that he’s sitting in is really comfortable.
 
     “I didn’t- I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry.” He whispers, looking down at his
lap. He can hardly even hear his own voice. God, when John gets this phone call
it’s going to be so terrible. John is going to get mad at him and maybe even
hit him because he’s bad and he  deserves  to be hit. Papa had the right idea
all along.
 
      It’s the only way you’ll ever learn, Tommy.
 
      “Something had to have provoked it, son. You’re not the type to just
punch someone because the thought suddenly struck you. Please, just help me
understand why you did what you did.” Adams fiddles with his cufflinks. He’s
not a bad looking man. Not like his cousin John, the vice principal. If Mr.
Adams wanted to have him, it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. He could
just close his eyes and pretend that it wasn’t happening. It’s all going to be
over soon enough.
 
      “James was saying things that weren’t especially kind about my boyfriend.
And, I, uh- He called me some things. I mean, they were true, but they weren’t-
I just got mad at him. I’m sorry that I hurt him. Can I just apologize to him
and you’ll suspend me and we can just get this over with?” Thomas whimpers
softly, spreading his legs a little in a way that’s almost second nature at
this point. If Mr. Adams says the word, he’ll just bend over the desk and
everything will be forgiven. Hopefully.
 
     “What did he say? I just want to hear your side of all this. Just tell me
what he did, and if it wasn’t your fault, I won’t have to suspend you. This is
your first offense, anyway, and I’m sure that I could get you something light.
An after-school detention at worst, nothing but a slap on the wrist at best.”
 
     “He called me a fag. Called my boyfriend my girlfriend and called him a… a
very transphobic word that I don’t think that I can bring myself to repeat.”
No, that would be too much of an ‘Old Thomas’ move. How he used to be, before
Alex showed him that being gay or trans or whatever wasn’t a bad thing or
sinful. “And he said that I was, um- He said that I was a freak. That I was a
slut. I mean, he wasn’t wrong, but that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hurt a
little.” If he can get off without much of a punishment, he’ll  have  to be
good. To show that he isn’t ungrateful on top of everything else.
 
     “I’m sorry that he did that. Look, I’m not going to crucify you over this.
You’ll have a lunch detention on Thursday. He’ll have to write an apology
letter and he’ll have a lunch detention on Friday.” Adams runs his hands
through white hair and Thomas visibly perks up. His hands are flying down to
his belt buckle before he even really knows what he’s doing. It takes Adams a
long time to realize what he’s doing, and he looks visibly distressed.
 
     “No. No, that’s not- I don’t want you to do that. Don’t do that. Please,
Thomas, just go back to class.”
 
     The boy buttons his pants back up and tries not to look dejected as he
leaves the main office.
 
     ---
 
     “TJ, did you get into a fight today?” John says softly after Thomas steps
in the door. Marty sort of takes that as her cue to leave and goes upstairs.
Shit, he’s in for it. John is going to kick him out or worse because he can’t
just be good.
 
     “Y-Yeah. I’m sorry, sir. He was just saying really awful things and I know
that it’s not an excuse, but I didn’t-”
 
     “Please don’t apologize, and please don’t call me ‘sir’. I don’t know the
kid, but I do know his parents, and they’re major assholes. We’re having
macaroni and cheese with dinner, and I know that that’s your favorite, so get
washed up, okay? Then homework, then whatever you want, then shower, then
sleep.” John always knows just what to say to him to put him at ease. It’s not
a true schedule, not like what Papa had when every minute of his day was
planned out, but it’s comforting to always know what’s going to come next.
 
     “Okay, thank you.” Thomas smiles, feeling some of the tension drain out of
his shoulders. He washes his hands and settles down on the couch, flipping
through Instagram on his phone. Mary had been adamant about him getting a new
one, so he just went along with it. It was lighter than his old phone, even
though they were the same kind of the same brand. It was sort of strange, but
he wasn’t going to ask questions and risk making anyone mad at him.
 
     He feels a light tapping on his shoulder, and turns around to see Annie
looking very hopeful.
 
     “Thomas, will you paint my toenails? Pretty please? They always look real
pretty when you do it.” She’s so damn cute. The boy smiles, pulling her up into
his lap.
 
     “‘Course I will. I couldn’t say no to you. Go pick me out a couple of
colors. I know that you like when I do patterns, and we  just  have enough time
before dinner.” He’ll have to wash his hands again before they actually eat,
but he can’t bring himself to care. One of the seven closest things he’s ever
had to siblings is counting on him to paint pretty flowers on her toes, and
he’s not about to let her down.
 
     They end up looking very nice. Thomas isn’t one to brag very much, but he
is sort of good at nail art. Papa never let him draw, said that it was for
girls and fairies, and used to rip anything he drew into shreds. That never
stopped him from doodling in his school notebooks or doing Marty’s nails for
her.
Chapter End Notes
     Here you go, you nerds. Happy Thanksgiving!
***** Chapter 13 *****
Chapter Summary
     A birthday and a discovery.
Chapter Notes
     Warnings for: Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, and something that I
     can't reveal now without spoiling the whole chapter.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
     “Happy birthday, Thomas!”
 
     The boy opens his eyes blearily to see John, Mary, Marty, and his other
technically foster siblings crowded around his bed with all kinds of balloons.
Annie even has a noisemaker, which she blows in his face. He smells what he
thinks is blueberry pancakes coming from downstairs. Thomas can’t help but grin
widely, throwing his arms around Marty, who’s the closest person to him.
 
     “You didn’t tell us what kind of present you wanted, but we took a wild
guess.” Mary looks a little bit shy as she gestures towards a pile of neatly-
wrapped presents in the corner of his bedroom. It’s his turn to be shy, though,
because he specifically remembers asking for nothing.
 
     “You shouldn’t have gotten me anything! I don’t need-” He starts, only to
be cut off by John. He looks distinctly and ridiculously like Betty when he
bops Thomas on the head gently with a (thankfully clean) spatula. He has an
apron on and everything.
 
     “Shush! We got you presents because we wanted to get you presents, and
your birthday isn’t always about what you want. Now, come downstairs. I made
pancakes. I’m totally just trying to toot my own horn here, but I make
fantastic pancakes.” The man gently tugs Thomas out of bed and he’s surrounded
by children and adults alike as they make their way down to the dining room.
There’s a plate clearly for him set up at the head of the table, with one of
those corny hats and everything. It’s much earlier than he would usually get
up, but he can’t bring himself to be cranky.
 
     He could leave today. He’s legally an adult, he has his own money, and
lots of it. But the Wayles family have been too good to him for him to just
suddenly leave. The kids are like the siblings he’s never had. Logan and Lilly
tease him, Tabby and Annie look up to him, and Mary and John treat him like
he’s one of their own. It’s the greatest thing he’s ever experienced, this
amount of love. He sighs happily as he sits down in the chair, digging into the
(admittedly amazing) pancakes in front of him with gusto.
 
     “I went ahead and had Marty invite James, your boyfriend, and your friend
Lafayette over here for dinner and presents tonight. Is there anyone else you
can think of? They’re more than welcome, I just need to get a head count. We’re
having red velvet cake, apple pie with  plenty  of vanilla ice cream, steaks,
french fries, and five cheese macaroni. That sound okay?”
 
     Thomas could just about cry when he hears Mary blabbering about his
birthday like it’s nothing. Like earning all of this would have left him
bleeding and stretched out beyond relief in a place that only Alex is allowed
to touch him with Papa. No, he’s not going to let himself think about Papa
today. He doesn’t get to have  this  birthday, too. He already got seventeen of
them, and his eighteenth and every one after this is all for him and who he
decides gets to be involved. This birthday is for his new family, his friends,
his boyfriend, and him. Not for a man that hurt him and let other people hurt
him on top of it.
 
     He shakes his head to get ditch any and all Papa-related thoughts and
focuses on the family,  his  family, that sits in front of him. Liz grins over
at him goofily before returning to whatever she was doing on her cell phone.
 
     He feels a warmth in his stomach that he can’t quite shake.
 
     ---
 
     “Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday dear Thomas!
Happy birthday to you!” Thomas is surrounded by his friends now, sitting in the
school cafeteria. He pretends to blow out the fake candle stuck on top of the
cupcake, but he doesn’t have anything to wish for. He already has everything he
could ever want.
 
     “I was going to bring my present to school for you,  frère , but then when
Martha told me that we were to be celebrating at your home after classes are
finished, I knew that I should save it for then.” Laf smiles, pulling him into
a hug. He’s not entirely wrong in calling him  frère , they look very similar.
Not identical, but they could be brothers.
 
     “You didn’t have to get me anything. Tater tots and cold pizza with y’all
is enough for me.”
 
     Jemmy scoffs, punching him on the shoulder lightly. “Dude, fuck off. We
wanted to do this for you. You deserve it. If there’s anyone in the world that
should have a ridiculously happy birthday, it’s you.”
 
     “For once in his damn life, James is right.” Alexander laughs softly,
nuzzling close to Thomas. It might be PDA, but he doubts that anyone’s going to
call them out on it.
 
     “Fucking hell, Alex, you liked him enough to nail that project for History
a couple months ago.” Thomas couldn’t keep himself from giggling softly,
wrapping one arm around Alex’s waist. He honestly has the best boyfriend in the
whole damn world.
 
     “I’ve been craving some of that cold pizza anyways. Gimme!” The shortest
boy in their little group plucks it off his boyfriend’s tray and wolfs it down
without any more preamble.
 
     ---
 
     He gets another round of ‘Happy Birthday’ at home after they’ve all
finished their dinner. A slice of red velvet cake is set in front of him, and
he looks down at it like it’s the most precious thing in the whole world. It
sort of is. In a weirdly poetic way, it symbolizes a new year with a new
family. God only knows where he’ll be on April 13th 2018.
 
     Once Jemmy and Laf have gone home, Alex lingers. He looks very worried as
he steps out of the bathroom, holding something that Thomas can’t quite see.
 
     “Baby, is there something wrong?” Thomas excuses himself from his
conversation with Tabby and shuffles over to his boyfriend. The shorter boy
shuffles where he stands, looking down at the floor.
 
     “Promise me that you won’t be mad.”
 
     “I promise that I won’t be mad. Alexander, should I be worried about
this?”
 
     “Maybe.”
 
     “Can you just please tell me what’s the matter? I want to know what’s
bugging you.”
 
     Alexander holds out a pregnancy test (that Thomas has  no  idea where he
got), and whimpers quietly.
 
     “Thomas, I’m… I’m pregnant.”
Chapter End Notes
     Quite a big reveal, eh?
     Let me know what you think in the comments!
***** Chapter 14 *****
Chapter Summary
     Family discussion time.
Chapter Notes
     Warnings for: Discussion of abortion. (As a possiblity, not as an
     actual thing that happened.)
See the end of the chapter for more notes
     “You’re pregnant. There’s a… There’s a thing growing inside of you. A
human thing.” Thomas’s eyes get wide suddenly, and his eyes hone in on
Alexander’s stomach. The shorter boy scoffs and crosses his arms.
 
     “Yeah, I figured that out. What are we… What are we gonna do? You knew
that I wanted to wait until we were out of college. I can’t go to  prom
pregnant.” For once in the time that Thomas has known him, Alex looks like he
doesn’t know what to do. That’s not his Alex. His Alex always knows just what
to say or how to act.
 
     “What do  you  think we should do, honey? I mean… Are you going to keep
it?” He knows that this is his fault. Three weeks ago, they didn’t have a
condom and thought that it wouldn’t matter. They broke Washington’s only rule
about them having sex and here they are. Alex is pregnant.
 
     “I don’t know. I don’t know. You have to help me make this decision, I
can’t do it by myself. I don’t know how you expect me to make a decision like
that by myself. Do you… Do you want to keep it?” Alexander is barreling towards
a panic attack, and he’s not quite sure what he should say. Usually it’s simple
- reassuring him that he knows the material on their test like the back of his
hand or patting his back and calling him handsome. This one isn’t going to be
that simple.
 
     “I’m going to be more than happy with whatever decision you make. This is
your decision, baby, and it’s sure as hell not mine.”
 
     “That’s not what I  asked , Thomas! I want to know if you do or do not
want me to give birth to the human being currently living inside my uterus!”
 
     Thomas can’t help but wince at the tone, but he isn’t going to do any more
to show his boyfriend that he’s genuinely scared that he’s going to be hit. “I
think… I think that we would be good dads. I think that maybe this is our
chance to have a kid or kids before you start on testosterone, and I think that
I probably want to have this baby. But I think most of all that we should tell
our parents about it.”
 
     “I know that this wasn’t the birthday present that you wanted to get from
me. I knew that I had to tell you, though. And the sooner you knew, the sooner
I could get myself ready for having a baby.” Alex laughs in a way that’s almost
sad. “We’re going to be… We’re going to be dads. Before we’re even twenty. I’m
going to have your baby. And we’re going to have to go to school while it’s
growing up.”
 
     “It’s not like you’re going to have to work. And I’ll wait to go to
college if you want to have one of us at home with the baby. You can go off and
be our quick-witted lawyer and I’ll be the stay-at-home dad.”
 
     “I can’t ask you to do that. You’d get too restless at home. I know you.”
 
     “No, I really wouldn’t. Not with a baby to keep up with. A baby that was
just as smart as you, with your pretty eyes.”
 
     “God, I can see you being all domestic now. A baby on either hip and one
strapped to your chest everywhere you went. A diaper bag on your shoulder and
baby puke that never quite came off of your shirts. You would be such a perfect
dad. All supportive, taking an airhorn to our kid’s chess tournament or some
shit.” Alex hums, moving forward to wrap his arms around Thomas.
 
     Well, shit.
 
     ---
 
     “So, um. John, Mary. George, Martha… We didn't really know how to tell you
this, so I'm just going to spit it out… Alex is pregnant. Please don't be mad.”
Thomas says almost a little too hastily, squeezing Alexander's hand like a
lifeline.
 
     Nobody says anything for a long time. It's Martha that speaks up first,
with one raised eyebrow.
 
     “Are you going to keep it? I'm sort of concerned that… I have all the same
concerns as anyone would have if their teenager was pregnant.” She keeps her
voice sort of soft and her lips are drawn into a thin line.
 
     “Yeah. We are. Once I start on HRT, I probably won't be able to have kids.
And I know that Thomas sort of wants them, and I do, too. I wouldn't have to
work  and  go to school and be a dad because of his trust fund. We have more
than enough money to get us both through college and support a baby. We'll get
married if that's what you want, but we want to keep this baby.” Alexander's
mouth is moving at a mile a minute, and he's hardly coherent.
 
     “I don't see why this is a problem. If you both want the baby, and you're
both committing to take care of it, and you're both willing to put some things
on hold for it, you should have the baby.” Mary shrugs and takes a sip of her
coffee.
 
     “I do want you two to get married before the baby is born, though. I don't
want it to come into this world out of wedlock. It's bad enough it was
conceived out of wedlock.” John mumbles, only to be hit on the arm playfully by
Mary. It's a discussion he and Thomas have had before. He wasn't concerned with
Thomas being gay or Alex being trans - the problem was with them having
premarital sex.

      “Who's going to make the OB/GYN appointment?” Thomas can't keep the grin
off his face and rests his hand on Alex's thigh.
Chapter End Notes
     I posted this twice, whoops?
     Tell me what you think! I live for comments.
     Also, there are only going to be three or four more chapters. Maybe a
     sequel. Is another story in this 'verse something that you would want
     to see?
***** Chapter 15 *****
Chapter Summary
     John Laurens shows his ass.
Chapter Notes
     Warnings for: A small fight, internalized sexism, and serious
     mentions of child abuse.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
     “‘Lex, are you going to Angie’s party tonight?”
 
     Thomas can’t help but overhear John Laurens talking to his Alex when
they’re in the library. They used to date, until Alex moved on to Angelica’s
sister, Eliza. They seem like they’re good friends, and only good friends, but
he can’t ever be too sure. Not that he thinks Alex would cheat or anything,
he’s more scared that Laurens has hurt feelings over the breakup and would want
to hurt his boyfriend.
 
     “Can’t, Jack. We both know what Angie’s parties are like when Schuyler’s
out of town, and… I was meaning to tell our entire friend group at the same
time, but you’re going to get hella suspicious if I don’t give you an excuse.
I’m… I’m pregnant. With Thomas’s kid. I’m about five weeks along, and we’re
going to get married this summer.” He can hear the nervousness in Alexander’s
voice and he almost wants to walk over there. But then he would be in trouble
for eavesdropping, and he doesn’t really want that.
 
     “You’re pregnant. With Jefferson’s kid. And you’re  keeping  it?! What
ever happened to you being a lawyer? What ever happened to you keeping whatever
shred of independence you have? Don’t you realize that he’s going to leave you
flat on your ass broke three years from now and you’re going to have to go
crawling to him for child support payments while you struggle to pay for
school?!”
 
      Laurens is right. Alex should be ashamed to be having your baby. He’s not
a slut like you are, hasn’t had so many cocks up there. Laurens would be better
for him, anyway. Laurens doesn’t bitch and whine constantly and piss himself
like he’s a little baby that never even learned to be potty trained. Laurens
didn’t let people touch him for money, didn’t let people do things to him and
use him and own him for a little more dinner or a couple more minutes to sleep
in every morning.
 
     “Shut up about my boyfriend! He wouldn’t do that to me! You don’t have to
be so fucking jealous all the time! He loves me, and I love him, and me and him
and this baby are going to be happy together!” Alex is shouting, shouting
because of him. He’s so bad. He’s such a bad boy, he should have just stayed
home and let himself be used and not thrown a fit and not gotten tangled up
with his boyfriend. He should have just been a good boy, but now the only
person that he’s ever been in love with like this is mad because of him.
 
     “Can you please keep your voices down? There are other people trying to
work in here.” Thomas whispers to the pair of them, fiddling with the laminated
corner of his GLOT badge. He’s a glorified errand boy, but he loves every paper
he has to deliver to the office for a teacher or book he has to reshelve in the
library.
 
     “You knocked up my best friend and you’re trying to tell me to not be
upset about it?” Laurens is only getting louder, and his voice is starting to
make Thomas’s head hurt.
 
     “It’s just the policy in the library, I didn’t mean to-”
 
     “Yeah, well, you did.” Laurens gives him a rough shove, and Thomas was so
unprepared for it he stumbles back into the bookshelf behind him.
 
     “Don’t you  dare  touch my boyfriend.” Thomas was half-considering
dropping to his knees and just letting the other boy do whatever he wanted
until he hears Alex’s voice, low and almost like a growl. “I’m absolutely
overjoyed that I get to have his baby. I want to be a father with him, and fuck
if I’m going to let  your  jealousy get in the way of  my  happiness. You have
your own shit to figure out, John, and I’m not going to stick around and watch
you deal with it, and I’m sure as shit not going to let you take it out on
Thomas. Come on, baby, we’re going.”
 
     It’s Alex’s free period, not his, but he isn’t about to say no to his
boyfriend.  His  boyfriend, who just stuck up for him against someone that he’s
been friends with since Kindergarten.
 
     “Thank you. I didn’t… Thank you. You really didn’t need to do that. I
would have been fine on my own.” Thomas murmurs, not meeting Alexander’s eyes.
He doesn’t know the words he should be using to thank him. He doesn’t know if
there  are  the words to thank him.
 
     “He was out of line, TJ. He shouldn’t have said all that shit about you.
It’s not fair to you that people, even my friends, think that they have a right
to say those awful things. After Eacker… Well, I just feel like I have to
protect you from assholes.” Alex was talking like it was no big deal. Like he
didn’t just maybe ruin a friendship for the stupid whore that didn’t even know
how to use a condom.
 
      “You’re the one that’s pregnant. You’re the one that I should be taking
care of. I should be providing you and protecting you instead of just leeching
off all your bravery. I should be able to take somebody’s criticism and be able
to defend you at the same time. I need to step up and just be a  man .”
 
     “Don’t start that shit with me, Thomas. You don’t have to be whatever
masculine stereotype that Peter made you think a man has to be. You’re perfect
just the way you are. You don’t have to be all ‘grr’ and ‘testosterone’ and ‘I
have balls’. You’re my sweet Thomas that likes drawing and macaroni and cheese
and apple pie. You don’t have to be an overly-masculine asshole or whatever you
think you have to be.” Alex suddenly gets very serious, resting his hand on
Thomas’s shoulder and stares up at him severely.
 
     “I love you, Alex.”
 
     “I love you too, baby boy.”
 
     God, he loves it when Alex calls him baby boy. It makes him feel… Loved.
And cared for. Almost like he’s precious somehow, like his heart is his
boyfriend’s most prized possession.
Chapter End Notes
     Once again, there's only a little bit left! Tell me what you want to
     see in a sequel!
***** Chapter 16 *****
Chapter Summary
     Prom and sex.
Chapter Notes
     Warnings for: Transphobia, Misgendering of a Trans Man, and Explicit
     Sexual Content.
See the end of the chapter for more notes
     God, Thomas is the absolute luckiest. Alex looks ridiculously handsome in
his tuxedo, as expected, and he managed to sucker Washington into a proper
stretch limo. It’s not going to stand out  too  much at their school that’s
overflowing with the kids of the exorbitantly wealthy, but being picked up by
the most perfect person in the world and being taken to a dance where they’re
going to show each other off? He may as well be royalty.
 
     “Hey, sweetie,” Alexander gets up on his tiptoes and Thomas leans down a
little bit so they can share a soft kiss. “You look so nice. You excited?” He
hands over a bouquet of roses and Thomas honestly thinks that he could faint.
 
     “You look even better than I do. And of course I’m excited. I get to be
all sweet and gay in front of everyone that I know.” He laughs quietly, melting
into Alexander’s hand when a curl is tucked behind his ear. It’s casual
displays of affection like those that always has Thomas swooning.
 
     Mary takes a shit ton of pictures of both him and Marty (whose girlfriend,
Brooke, looks very pretty in her pale purple dress, which is complimented very
well by Martha’s pastel yellow one). Eventually they’re let go, Marty and
Brooke into Brooke’s car and Alexander and Thomas into their limousine.
 
     “Alexander Hamilton, being escorted by Thomas Jefferson.”
 
     It's more Thomas Jefferson being escorted by Alexander Hamilton, but he
isn't about to say anything. After they get their picture taken, they find a
spot that's near a corner and sit down.
 
     The table isn’t especially large, but fourteen people end up crowded
around it. Lafayette and Hercules Mulligan, Angelica Schuyler and her boyfriend
John, Eliza and her girlfriend Maria, Peggy Schuyler and their boyfriend
Stephen, James and Dolley, Martha and Brooke and, of course, Thomas and
Alexander.
 
     “Do you wanna go dance?! Please? I really wanna dance with you.” Alex
looks up at Thomas with big eyes, and how can he say no to that perfect face?
How can anyone say no to someone as perfect as his Alexander.
 
     That’s how most of the night goes. Thomas is suckered into many-a dance,
even trades off to give some of their other friends a whirl with a trained
ballroom dancer. He doesn’t have a crazy amount of space to maneuver around in,
but he makes it work. There’s lots of laughter and Alex’s friends aren’t too
bad. Peggy, Eliza, and Angelica are all super sweet, and their partners aren’t
too bad. Hercules is sort of quiet but has a ridiculously dirty mind. All in
all, they’re not the worst people on planet Earth.
 
     When prom court is announced, however, everything very quickly goes south.
 
     “And your prom king is… Thomas Jefferson!” It’s nothing short of shocking.
He’s not exactly friendless, but he’s certainly not popular enough to be prom
king. When prom queen is announced, the pieces start to fall into place.
 
     “And for prom queen, we have Sarah Hamilton!”
 
     He sees Alex, looking nothing short of shell-shocked. He can see the tears
in his boyfriend’s eyes even from across the room, and he knows that he has to
make a very quick decision.
 
     “I think that there’s been a mistake?” Thomas snatches the microphone from
the random kid that was picked to announce and makes careful eye contact with
Alexander. “Alex clearly  has  to be king, because everyone knows that I’m the
reigning queen! Sorry, baby, but there’s only room enough for one person to be
queen.” He gestures up to the stage and Alex shuffles over with a blindingly
bright grin on his face.
 
     “I believe that this belongs to you?” Thomas giggles softly, taking the
crown from atop his own head and placing it on Alex’s. He snatches the queen’s
tiara from off its cushion and arranges it in his curls. Alex leans up and
throws his arms around his neck, to scattered applause which quickly become
thunderous. Thomas bows a little with a small smirk on his face.
 
     “So, Queen Thomas, do you have anything planned for later tonight?” Alex
wiggles his eyebrows suggestively in the middle of their dance, while his hand
on Thomas’s waist tightened slightly. “‘Cause I think that the only ride I want
home is on the nine inch express.” Thomas breaks into nervous laughter,
suddenly feeling very,  very  flustered.
 
     “‘S nine and a half. But, um, not really? I don’t… I figured that we would
hookup or something, only because that’s what you do on prom night, but I
didn’t have anything specific planned.” That’s a lie through his teeth. There
are roses and jasmine-scented candles and little chocolates waiting for them at
home. Mary, John, and the little kids were ditching so Thomas could bring
Alexander home and Marty could sneak in at two in the morning without the
little ones getting suspicious.
 
     “I can totally see you kissing me all over and then maybe eating me out.
That sounds perfect, what a good idea you just had there. That was your idea.
Definitely.” Alex snorted, burying his face in Thomas’s chest and inhaling.
 
     “If that’s what you want, baby, then that’s what you’ll get. You’re the
King after all. I’m yours to rule over. If you’re a king, then I’m your castle,
your subjects, and your queen.”
 
     “Why do you have to be such a fucking overly-poetic dork?”
 
     “I’m  your  overly-poetic dork, and you fucking love it.”
 
     “You’re probably right. Or maybe it’s just your dick. Who knows. You do
have a magnificent penis, which I’m very much looking forward to impaling
myself on later.”
 
     “Ew, I hate that word.” Thomas wrinkles up his nose like he’s just smelled
something disgusting.
 
     “What, do you not like it when I say penis? Does it make you
uncomfortable? Are you saying that I  shouldn’t  say penis?”
 
     “That’s exactly what I’m saying.”
 
     “Well, then I’ll stop saying penis. You’re probably going to have to
remind me not to say penis, though, because I say penis quite frequently.”
 
     Thomas sighs, this is going to be a long night.
 
     ---
 
     “God, you're so good with your- Ah!” Alex is cut short after a
particularly targeted kiss to his nipple. As promised, Thomas is kissing him
all over. Earth, Wind, and Fire plays softly in the background, the lights are
dimmed, and the air is comfortably heavy with essential oils and candles. It's
perfect. Romantic and sweet and amazing.
 
     Eating him out is nothing. Thomas knows every spot that could end his
boyfriend spiraling into madness from the sheer pleasure of it all, but he
decides to draw things out a little. They aren't in a rush or anything.
 
     “Shit, baby, stop being such a little tease!” Suddenly there are hands in
his hair, only that's reminding him of Mama and he has to physically pull away.
 
     “Please don't do that? If you want to I guess that you can, but I'd really
rather you didn't.” Thomas whispers, before returning to pleasing his perfect
little Alexander.
 
     “That's okay. I won't do it again, promise. Thank you for telling me that
it didn't make you comfortable. That's progress.”
 
     Thomas knows, consciously, that he has a bad habit of letting Alex do
whatever he wants to him. And he's been working with Amelie to help get better
with all of that, and he's surprised that it's working.
 
     Making love is another thing that's routine in an exciting way. Two souls
joining together and appreciating each other's bodies and company. When he
comes it's deep inside his boyfriend, and he collapses a little beside him.

     They cuddle and eat chocolate and chat. And the entire time, Thomas can't
help but think about how far he's come. Because with his boyfriend and their
baby, he can do anything. No matter what's happened to him in the past or
what's going to happen to him in the future. If he has Alex, he'll get through
it.
Chapter End Notes
     Aaaannnddd that's the way the news goes! Book one is done, y'all. The
     first chapter of the next installment of this series should be up
     relatively soon, but in the meantime, pour those comments in! I love
     me some comments!
     I'd like to personally thank each and every person reading this for
     getting me this far. Every person that's left kudos, or commented, a
     special thanks to you. Y'all are what's kept me going through all of
     this. This was a shitty little project that was supposed to be hella
     short, but it became this, because of you.
Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed
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