
Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/327132.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Choose_Not_To_Use_Archive_Warnings, No_Archive_Warnings_Apply, Underage
  Category:
      F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi
  Fandom:
      Homestuck
  Relationship:
      Dave_Strider/Eridan_Ampora, Other_Implied_Pairings
  Character:
      Dave_Strider, Dirk_Strider, Sollux_Captor, Karkat_Vantas, Terezi_Pyrope,
      Feferi_Pexies, Jake_English, Eridan_Ampora, Roxy_Lalonde, Jane_Crocker,
      John_Egbert, Aradia_Megido, Equius_Zahhak, Tavros_Nitram, Gamzee_Makara,
      Vriska_Serket, Jade_Harley, Nepeta_Leijon, Rose_Lalonde, Kanaya_Maryam
  Stats:
      Published: 2012-01-25 Completed: 2013-11-01 Chapters: 21/21 Words: 38345
****** Swag ******
by AutoRespawnse
Summary
     In a Post-Sgrub Alternia, Dave Strider and his friends have been
     turned into trolls and are living peacefully with their new friends
     and world.
     Of course, not everyone has been living easy. Eridan Ampora has shut
     himself off from his friends after the game, scared of their judgment
     of him. Sure, he still goes to the parties they throw, but he’s there
     almost as a shadow…
     When Eridan accidentally shoots Dave out of the sky one day, they
     strike a quick friendship out of loneliness.
     The only problem is, something lurks around the corner… something
     that is trying to infringe upon the peace that the Trolls have been
     trying to maintain in their world.
     Have they gotten more than they bargained for?
  This work was inspired by
      The_Most_Glubbin_Ironic_Title_Evver by CelestialSymphony
***** Waking Up, Troll Stuck *****
Your name is Dave Strider.
And you have no idea how you got into this slime-filled pod. All you know is
that if feels good against your grey skin and candy-corn horns. You're naked,
but you really dont care. In fact, the slime feels good on your bulge and nook.
You suddenly understand what Karkat was saying when he metioned Sopor's
relaxing qualities.
Hold the phone here. Call the press.
Grey skin?
Candy-corn horns??
Bulge???
Nook????
Your name is Dave Strider.
And you have just seriously flipped your shit.
You crawl out of the slime-filled pod,"recooprecoon", your mind whispers to
you, and stalk in the direction of your bathroom, "ablution block". You check
yourself in the mirror, "reflective body check module".
Yes. You are, most definately grey skinned, candy-corn horned, and weirdest of
all, dickless.
Which would be cool.
If you were a girl.
But you're not.
You are, without a doubt, most defiantely, a BOY.
Upon further inspection of your body, you notice you do not have nipples
anymore. Instead, you have two scar-like patches on your lower rib cage. You
still have a belly button, but its now an outie. Not an inie like before. Your
hair is now black. And along with your lack of standard male equipment, your
pubic hair seems to be gone, too.
Instead, theres this hard looking, domed, Ken-doll-esque spot where your junk
should be.
"Bone bulge." You say out loud, aknowleging the mound of grey flesh covered
bone.
You notice, with some bewilderment, that your complection is fair, as far as
Troll skin goes. Its a lighter grey then either Karkat's or Sollux's.
Your eyes are no longer red, but pink-tinged yellow. Almost like Aradia's, but
a bit darker. You are a "Rust Blood", your mind supplies once more for you.
You're beginning to wonder why your head is speaking in Troll speak when you
don't know it.
To ignore your brain, you distract yourself once more by observing your horns
in the mirror. You run your hands from their bases to the tip, surprised by the
velvety, smooth texture. Your horns are almost straight, with two small jutted
out portions toward the back of each horn. A lot like Kanaya's horns, you
conclude.
You hear a squawk and are broken from your thoughts. A large white crow stands
in the doorway to your bathroom, blinking its eyes at you.
Tenatively, you reach out and rub his forehead and Crowdad responds with a soft
caw of appreciation.
Crowdad.
You just called a gigantic white feathery dumbass bird "Dad".
You're name is Dave Strider.
And you are now a Troll.
~~~~~
Later that night, after some struggling, you'd managed to get to your clothing
storage mini-block and look through your selection of clothes. It was a lot
like before when you were human, but instead of shirts in red with black
accents, you found shirts in black with red accents.
You pulled a shirt off the rack and held it out in front of you to observe it.
You had the same symbol as Aradia, but yours was slightly darker in color,
indicating your blood status. Higher then Aradia, lower then Tavros. You
supposed that was okay. You never really cared for the blood shit anyway.
You also have a sweatshirt available at your disposal, but instead of Aradia's
symbol, you had your timepiece cog in the same color of your blood emblazed
across it. This was a relief. You'd grown fond of the cog during those days?
weeks? months? in the game. It was like having a piece of your old self with
you. You slipped into the sweatshirt, hardly getting tangled on your horns, but
you knew it would be a pain to get off later. You also managed to find a pair
of dark grey skinny jeans and wiggle into those. They were skinny, but since
you didn't have balls anymore, not nearly as restrictive as they would've been.
Once dressed, you set to exploring your hive. With some ease, you found your
way to the guest respite block and noted that there was no recooprecoon in this
room, but a couch. A little voice in the back of your brain told you that this
was not a room you were ready to visit, so you turned and left. Further down
the hall, you found another ablution block and a dead end. You walked down the
other way and found a set of stairs you hadn't seen before, leading to the
lower levels of your hive. You were now in a large room with....
Thank heaven and sweet Troll Jegus. Those are your Timestables. You had begun
to wonder if you'd ever see them again. Relieved and renewed by the comforting
sight, you continued your exploration, but not before setting up a sweet
discovery tune to look around to. You were definitely going to send that mix to
Jade whenever you could next.
You left the main room of the floor and continued outward, noting that nothing
in particular was on this floor of your hive except that last room on the left
in which their lay a large pile of vinyl records. Your troll urges told you to
lay on the pile and relax. Your human urges told you to find any decent music
you could listen to.
You picked up one of the vinyls, only to find you couldn't read it. It wasn't
in English. While you could speak English still, reading the strange symbols of
letters was impossible to you.
You decided the record was useless then, and tossed it back in the pile. You
now understood why the Trolls computers had automatic translators on them.
English was a hard language to learn.
You left the block and found another set of stairs, leading downward. You took
these to the bottom floor of your hive. You knew immediately, without looking
what you'd find on this floor. Your lusus's respite, the cooking block, and
your main lounging block. A plush couch and Grubevision was in the last block
mentioned, along with several game grubs and controllers. You also were happy
to find your old Xbox 360 and Playstation 2 were still availible for use.
Realizing how hungry you were, you moved once more, this time to the cooking
block to find Crowdad already hard at work to make you breakfast. You have no
idea how he was doing it, but he was. All the food resembled Earth food, but
was different in color or texture. Cluckbeast eggs on Alternia were the same
color as the cluckbeast's blood, so you had eggs that looked like someone had
cooked down Skittles. The meat, you found, was the same way as the eggs, but
Crowdad had spared you the myriad of colors by only providing standard brown
and rust. You were pleasantly surprised to find that potatoes were still, in
fact, potatoes and tasted just as good.
Belly full and wondering what you should do next, you managed to wander back to
your Respite Block and plop down in front of your Grubtop. The winged crow
decal on the back marked this grubtop as yours. You opened the contraption and
let your Troll thoughts take over, swiftly turning on the top and opening
Trollian.
You immediately noticed that your ChumHandle had not changed, but the color
had, reflecting your blood once more. You knew that almost all of your friends
were online almost as quick. Egbert, it appears had been trying to message you
for almost an hour.
--ectoBiologist [EB] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] at 7:56 pm--
EB: daaaaaaaave!
EB: dave!
EB: dave dave dave dave!
EB: daaaaaaaave where are yoooooooou!!!!!!!!
TG: egebert I swear if you type another multiple of eight I will find our hive
and bludgeon you to death with your grubtop
EB: oh!
EB: there you are dave!
EB: isn’t it weird!
EB: we’re trolls now!
TG: its cool i guess
EB: so where’s your hive dave?
EB: we were all going to meet up!
TG: somewhere in the desert I think
TG: reminds me of huston
EB: oh….
EB: i’m more toward the ocean
EB: jade is toward the desert though!
EB: maybe you could see her!!!!!!!!
TG: maybe
EB: what’s your lusus look like??
EB: mines a dingo!
EB: hehehe
TG: i have a brainless feathery asshole
EB: hehehe
EB: a crow!
TG: yes a crow egbert what did you expect my time-travel self in the form of a
sprite again?
TG: jegus nothing ever gets by you wisest of the wise
EB: jeez dave!
EB: you haven’t changed at all!
EB: hehehehe
EB: anyway, we’ll try to get together soon!
TG: yeah
TG: sure
EB: talk to you later, dave!
EB: bye!
TG: later
--ectoBiologist [EB] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG] at 8:48 pm--
You lean back from your computer and think about your geographical location for
a minute. You’d gotten glimpses of the desert through the very few wind portals
in your hive, but that was only on the south side. You hadn’t checked outside
yet.
You stood to do just that as your Trollian inbox exploded. The gray text warned
you to stay away from your Grubtop for a while. You did not want to talk to
Karkat right now.
You exited your respite block and were met by giant white feather y asshole
nuzzling your arm. He was holding your favorite sword in his beak.
“You knew I was going out, huh?” You take the sword from his beak, giving him a
gentle pat on the head. He only cawed in response and walked away.
Once your sword was safe in your strife specibus, you continued toward your
front entrance portal, passing Crowdad and the kitchen on the way. It looked
like he was cooking again. Cool.
You exit your hive and observe your lawnring. It only protrudes from your hive
about ten feet where your green grass melts into desert. You were right before.
This place does remind you of Huston. The only difference is that you can smell
the sea in the air, salty and crisp. You’re sure that if you draw in a deep
enough breath, you’ll be able to taste it as well. And you can. So you’re
closer to the sea then you originally thought. Which is odd, because you’re
about as low on the hemospectrum as is possible. The sea is where the purple-
bloods and blue-bloods reside, right?
You want to explore more, but you can see other trolls emerging from their
hives to get a glimpse at you and you really don’t want to get into a fight.
Maybe later you can go out with Crowdad. He’s certainly big enough to carry
you.
Upon your return to your hive, you immediately sit down to what you suppose is
a lunch. Again the food amazes you. You didn’t know yellow oink beast would
taste so good. After lunch you returned to your respite and closed out Karkat’s
angry grey text, not even bothering to read it. You could tell he’d already
gone offline anyway. Egbert had also disappeared. The only one who seemed to be
available from your closest friends was timaeusTestified. Bro.
--turntechGodhead [TG] began trolling timaeusTestified [TT] at 10:32 pm--
TT: Sup bro.
TG: hey man
TG: are you here like the rest of us?
TT: Why wouldn’t I be here?
TT: I went through that game, just like the rest of you.
TG: yeah
TG: that’s true
TG: wheres your hive?
TT: I’m in a community hive.
TT: Kind of like the old apartment.
TT: Where are you at?
TG: a desert
TG: i can smell the sea tho
TG: so I must be close to it
TT: That makes sense.
TT: This part of Alternia is really bustling with life.
TT: I’m going to guess it’s further inland then your hive.
TG: youre probably right
TG: i can come visit tho
TG: my lusus can fly
TT: So can mine.
TT: I need to come out that way anyway.
TG: what for?
TT: Jake.
TT: Talk to ya later, bro.
--timaeusTestified [TT] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG] at 10:40 pm--
You’re excited to see your bro, but at the same time, he’s not coming to see
you. He’s coming to see Jake. You suppose it’s kind of cute. You’re kind of
jealous. At least he has someone he cares for. Lucky bastard.
You’d always assumed you’d die alone any way.
***** The Ball *****
Chapter Summary
     The ball. Yes. I mean a DANCE. Not balls. :/
After two days (nights?) as a Troll, you&#x2019;d grown accustomed to most of
your new body&#x2019;s functions. Although, taking a whiz for the first time
was DEFINITELY an experience you&#x2019;d rather forget.
All nastiness aside, today was the day your brother was supposed to some see
you. Jake would, of course, be here too, but you&#x2019;d never met him before.
You didn&#x2019;t know what to expect. You just hoped your Bro got here before
him.
Which, of course, you knew would happen. Because your Bro is the kind of guy
who&#x2019;s always early to his dates.
As if he knew you were thinking about him, your Bro landed outside in your lawn
ring on a giant, white&#x2026;.Seagull?
You flash stepped to your entrance portal, eager to meet him, but nervous at
the same time. You knew in your mind he wasn&#x2019;t your Bro. You know you
aren&#x2019;t his bro. You&#x2019;re still bros. But&#x2026; it was different
now. Technically, this wasn&#x2019;t your Bro you were meeting, but in fact
your Dad. And you&#x2019;re just going to stop thinking about this now because
it&#x2019;s making your head hurt.
You opened your entrance portal and leaned nonchalantly in the crook of the
entry way, gazing at your bro behind your shades. He hopped off his Seagulldad
and stared right back at you in the same fashion. Apparently, you&#x2019;d
raised him well enough. You gave him a curt nod, he nodded back. When you stood
up, he approached you. Yes. You&#x2019;d raised him well. And you really needed
to stop thinking about paradoxical things again.
He patted Seagulldad in the same fashion you&#x2019;d pat Crowdad as he passed
his giant white bird and moved closer toward you.
&#x201C;Sup, Bro?&#x201D; You said, once he got within hearing range.
&#x201C;Not much, Bro.&#x201D; He replied.
And that is all there is to say on that matter.
Jake arrived not too long after Dirk, riding the back of a large barkbeast-like
creature. You learned it was actually called a Akbash. Whatever that was. Jake
looked a little too much like Egbert for your tastes. You were still sensitive
about being rejected by your best bro while you were in the Veil.
After some pithy chatting in the lounging block and some random snacking on
whatever it was Crowdad had brought the three of you, Jake finally said the
question that had been on your mind since the first day you&#x2019;d woken up
TrollStuck.
&#x201C;What happened?&#x201D; Jake&#x2019;s buck teeth were worrying his front
lip as he spoke. He was curled up on your lounging sofa next to Dirk, leaning
against him. &#x201C;I mean, I know we were in the Veil. And that Lord English
was there&#x2026; We were going to fight&#x2026; But that&#x2019;s all I
remember.&#x201D;
&#x201C;We did fight.&#x201D; Dirk said lowly, staring off into space.
&#x201C;A lot of us died. I don&#x2019;t remember how many, or who defeated
Lord English in the end. But he went down. We defeated him and won our
session.&#x201D; Dirk stopped there. It was obvious to you that Dirk was upset
about something. His jaw was tight and his eyes narrowed behind the anime
shades he wore.
&#x201C;Jake died, didn&#x2019;t he?&#x201D; You say aloud, voicing your
Bro&#x2019;s fears. You saw him wince slightly and you understood. It would be
extremely hard to watch the one you love die.
&#x201C;I&#x2026;I died?&#x201D; Jake asked, brows drawing together.
&#x201C;Then how am I here?&#x201D;
&#x201C;Winning the session must have reset the terms of the game and brought
all the dead people back to life.&#x201D; Dirk said, holding Jake closer to
him. &#x201C;It makes sense. That&#x2019;s how every other videogame in the
universe has always worked.&#x201D;
You nod in agreement while Jake just looked lost.
&#x201C;I remember dying now&#x2026;&#x201D; Jake muttered softly, &#x201C;And
Jane, too. We died together&#x2026;&#x201D;
Dirk shushed him quietly. You really didn&#x2019;t want to hear the details
either.
&#x201C;Who else have you had contact with, Bro?&#x201D; Dirk asked, changing
the subject and putting you on the spot, obviously trying to avoid talking
about Jake&#x2019;s death.
&#x201C;Just Egbert, Lalonde and Harley.&#x201D; You say, leaning back in the
lounger you&#x2019;d settled into, &#x201C;And Terezi. She was disappointed
that my blood color changed. You?&#x201D;
&#x201C;Just Jake and Roxy. Jane hasn&#x2019;t been very talkative.&#x201D;
&#x201C;Karkat sent me about four pages of dull gray text. I didn&#x2019;t read
any of it. But Egbert said that they were trying to coordinate a get-
together.&#x201D;
&#x201C;Maybe that will explain some of this mindless bally-hoo!&#x201D; Jake
burst out and neither you nor Dirk could control the completely uncool chuckles
you let out.
&#x201C;Bally-hoo, bro? That&#x2019;s all kinds of wrong.&#x201D;
&#x201C;Fuck, Jake, you&#x2019;re as bad as Egbert.&#x201D;
~~~~~
The second day Jake and Dirk were at your hive, the three of you settled into
the lounging room again, but this time to get your game on. You had just turned
on the Grubevision and were trying to figure out how to change the settings
when a sea-dweller appeared on the screen and some sort of anthem played in the
background.
&#x201C;HER IMPERIAL CONDESCE, FEFERI PEXIES&#x201D; was the title scrolling
across the bottom of the screen on the ticker tape. Feferi? Now why did that
name sound familiar?
&#x201C;Hi everybody! I am soooo excited to be the new Condesce and to get some
new laws put into plays! I&#x2019;m shore we are all going to be the very best
of chums!&#x201D; The girl on the screen gushed. She was only about 7 sweeps
old, just like you and the rest of your friends. &#x201C;My first order of
business however, will be to abolish a law that&#x2019;s long overdue!
There will be no more Hemospectrum! We don&#x2019;t need that to dictate our
lives and jobs for us!&#x201D; At her statement, the crowd gasped. From what
you could tell, the crowd was mostly purple and blue bloods. High bloods. The
only ones who didn&#x2019;t seem displeased were the five Trolls on the stage,
Feferi, three girls, and one boy. The boy Troll was a land dweller, unlike the
other four. He had a mustard-yellow symbol on his shirt. The Gemini symbol. The
girl on his right was wearing a shirt with a purple Aquarius symbol on it,
although her periwinkle-and-blue scarf covered half of it. The two were
standing as far apart as possible, not looking at each other and ignoring
everyone else.
The two girls to the left of Feferi were familiar as well. They looked almost
identical, minus the fact that one was an Aquarius, the other a Capricorn. They
both stood tall and regal, with narrow eyes and perfectly shaped hair. One girl
wore a pink scarf, while the other had striped sleeves on her shirt.
&#x201C;Rose.&#x201D; You muttered aloud, realizing who you were looking at.
Dirk confirmed your suspicions by pointing out Roxy (who you assumed was
Rose&#x2019;s Mom) out to Jake.
&#x201C;My second act as the Condesce is to invite several of my very closest
fronds from the mainland to a ball, here at my palace! We all needed a place to
meet up, so this is where we can do it! Look for a drone with my letter! Glub
to you later! Bye!&#x201D; The peppy princess waved to the crowd as she walked
off stage and toward the curtains at the back. The four on stage followed her
after a couple of moments.
&#x201C;A ball? She&#x2019;s the new dictator. And she&#x2019;s throwing a
ball?&#x201D; You stared at the screen, a little dumbstruck. Dirk shrugged.
&#x201C;Who cares? Let&#x2019;s just play some games.&#x201D;
~~~~~
It was two days later that your invitation to the royal ball came in. You were
a bit surprised when the drone had showed up at your entrance portal. A massive
white crustacean-like thing that towered over you and your doorway and even
Crowdad&#x2019;s wingspan. A massive white crustacean-like thing holding a
bright magenta envelope with glitter and calligraphy and&#x2026; scented paper?
It seemed like something to laugh at. And you did, for a moment, before the
angry drone shoved the envelope at you and flew away, carrying a basket full of
even more magenta envelopes.
So apparently, the Condesce knew you, even if you had no idea who SHE was.
You opened the letter after shutting your door, and settled into your by now
very familiar and favorite lounger.
Dave Strider,
You are cordially invited to
The imperial ball
As an honored guest
By invitation of
Feferi Pexies
Her Imperial Condesce.
After the bright magenta wording, there was some smaller, plain black wording
that told the time and place. You knew you had to go to this
&#x201C;ball&#x201D;. And you knew you had to go in the most garish outfit you
could find or commission.
~~~~
As you stared at yourself in Rose&#x2019;s mirror you concluded that this was
indeed the most atrocious thing you had or probably ever will wear. The
obnoxious red tuxedo-thing you had on was brighter than your old chum color and
Karkat&#x2019;s blood combined. The dark red accents Kanaya had woven within
the candy red gave off an almost sexy appeal. But your favorite part about the
whole suit was your tie. It was, without a doubt, the worst idea you had ever
come up with for ironic purposes. Candy red, rust, and mint green plaid.
Yes. You were going out in public like this.
&#x201C;Can&#x2019;t I convince you to put on something more&#x2026;
attractive?&#x201D; Rose asked as she helped you button your sleeves.
&#x201C;No. There&#x2019;s nothing you can say that will stop me from doing
this.&#x201D; You reply as you shrug on your jacket.
&#x201C;Oh my gawd, lil&#x2019; man you are dressed like your brofer!&#x201D;
Roxy giggled as she entered the room. &#x201C;Strider&#x2019;s wearing a bright
yellow suit!&#x201D;
You nod in her direction as Kanaya checked the fit of your jacket and made some
minor adjustments. Roxy grinned in the corner while Rose looked like she was
trying hard not to wrinkle her nose in disgust.
&#x201C;Well, Dave, the suit fits&#x2026;. well. But if you should need a
change, I have prepared another suit for you.&#x201D; She motioned to the
clothing block behind her. Curious, you took a peek. A plain black suit with a
dark red shirt and a black tie with your cog symbol on it. You instantly feel
compelled to change, because the suit in the clothing block is gorgeous.
&#x201C;Kan, is my suit done?&#x201D; A tall, willowy sea-troll entered the
room. Every buzzer in your head went off when he spoke.
&#x201C;Yes, Eridan. When Dave moves, you can find it behind green dress in my
clothing storage block.&#x201D; Kanaya replied, kindly. After a moment, she
continued speaking, this time more conservative and choosy with her words.
&#x201C;It&#x2019;s nice to see your hair just plain black, Eridan. It looks
better then purple patch. Makes you look less&#x2026; flushed.&#x201D;
The sea-troll just stared at the floor, replying softly. &#x201C;I wwoke up
back here and it wwas gone. Do you reely think it looks better?&#x201D;
&#x201C;Yes.&#x201D; Kanya said at the same time as Rose.
You just shrugged and stepped out of his way so he could get at the suit
inside.
You realized with a start that this guy was one of the girls you&#x2019;d seen
with Feferi at her ceremony. You felt embarrassed for him, because he really
did look feminine. You have to wonder if he knew what he looked like to other
people.
He stepped past you and reached for the suit. As he leaned in, you were
instantly aware of his cologne or perfume or whatever it was he was wearing.
Subtle, but not at the same time. It smelled of the sea and the sky, the clouds
and the water. Something you&#x2019;d never admit to yourself or anyone else
was that it kind of turned you on.
&#x201C;Try it on. We&#x2019;ll see if it fits you properly and make
adjustments as needed.&#x201D; Kanaya said, ushering the sea-troll into the
same room you had been in not a few moments earlier.
You were still in the room, debating about changing into the other suit when he
came out of the ablution block.
&#x201C;Kan, this shirt feels a little tight&#x2026;&#x201D; He muttered as he
came out, still staring at the floor.
Kanaya shook her head. &#x201C;It is supposed to be like that. So you can wear
the jacket over it.&#x201D;
Compared to the extravagant outfit he&#x2019;d walked in the room with, this
suit was plain. He was wearing a royal purple shirt made of a silky material,
plain black slacks made from the same material as yours, and his tie had a pair
of little golden wings on it.
&#x201C;And wwhy the Hope symbol, Kan? I wwasn&#x2019;t the best about
followwin&#x2019; my destined path in the game&#x2026;&#x201D;
&#x201C;You were killed.&#x201D; Kanaya said, checking his shirt measurements
and tugging the fabric a bit in places. &#x201C;You were never able to reach
your full potential.&#x201D;
&#x201C;You krilled me.&#x201D; Eridan said, but there was no resentment in his
voice. &#x201C;After I blinded Sol and krilled Fef and put a hole in
you.&#x201D; He said, as if justifying his death. You almost felt sorry for
someone who obviously had had a hard time in the game, worse than your own.
&#x201C;My hope wwas gone long before you krilled me. Some Prince a&#x2019;
Hope I shaped up to be.&#x201D;
The room went silent as Kanaya continued her work. After she was done with his
shirt, she told him, curtly, to put on the jacket and continued doing the same
thing for the jacket. Once she was done, she sighed and stepped in closer to
Eridan, and to everyone&#x2019;s surprise, hugged him.
&#x201C;The fighting is done, the war is won, and we are alive, free of Lord
English. Anything in the past is the past, and we shouldn&#x2019;t worry or
hate anyone because of what they did. Feferi is having this ball to prove that
point to everyone. Don&#x2019;t worry about other people and keep your chin up.
Be that arrogant prince we all remember and everything will be fine.&#x201D;
Kanaya said, glancing at all of us in the room. As she spoke, Eridan shook in
her arms, and looked ready to cry.
&#x201C;Thanks, Kan.&#x201D; He muttered, and started toward the door. He
paused, his hand on the knob and turned back. &#x201C;Reely. Thanks.&#x201D;
Then, he disappeared.
&#x201C;Whoooooa&#x2026; TENSE.&#x201D; Roxy giggled.
~~~~~
If there was one thing you&#x2019;d immediately known upon arriving at
Feferi&#x2019;s Imperial Palace was that the fishy princess&#x2014;Condesce-
- knew how to live in style. The whole place was plush and magenta and full of
cuttlefish. The squid-like fish were cute, but a little annoying to see
EVERYWHERE. The drapes, the plates, the silverware, the cake. Everything was
cuttlefish.
Everything, that is, except for the trolls at the ball. People of every blood
color were present, from Aradia&#x2019;s rusty red to Roxy&#x2019;s bubble-gum
pink. Only Karkat&#x2019;s candy red and Feferi&#x2019;s magenta stood out in
the crowd.
People were pointing and whispering about Karakt, but he didn&#x2019;t seem to
mind. He had an arm around Terezi and was speaking with her, ignoring the rest
of the room. Terezi had a huge grin on her face, and for once, wasn&#x2019;t
wearing her glasses. Her eyes stood out, almost contrasting her teal gown.
Aradia, who caught your eye as well, was dressed in a tunic and leggings,
differing herself from the other ball-goers. She was talking to the sweaty,
long-haired male you&#x2019;d come to know as Equius, who you were glad to
notice had exchanged his thigh-highs for a pair of real pants. Everyone seemed
relieved with this change.
One of the other trolls you recognized was Vriska, who was talking with John.
John seemed distracted, as if he was trying not to look down Vriska&#x2019;s
extremely low-cut dress. Vriska was obviously hitting on him, her hand on his
chest, and her body almost pressed against his. It was a little embarrassing to
watch.
Gamzee and Tavros were standing (yes, both of them were standing) at the
buffet, sampling some of the food. They had their pinkies entwined together,
almost shyly. Tavros&#x2019;s face was a deep chocolate brown, his happiness
evident. Gamzee was slouched next to him, paintless, tall, and surprisingly
handsome. That was, until he spotted you and scowled. He flipped you off before
turning back to Tavros.
You grinned slightly to yourself and felt a twinge of hatred in your chest. The
word &#x201C;kismesis&#x201D; scrolled through your mind.
Feferi caught your eye, or more, her magenta princess-cut ball gown caught your
eye. She was smiling and talking to Sollux, who was dressed in a black and
white shirt with a mustard-yellow vest over it.
You realized everyone had probably commissioned Kanaya to make their clothing
for the ball. Knowing here though, she&#x2019;d probably enjoyed sewing and
designing all the outfits for her friends. She&#x2019;d undoubtedly had Rose to
help her. Their budding matespritship was obvious to everyone at this point.
You continued your scan and saw nothing of importance. That is, until dinner
started.
***** Strider's Gonna Stride *****
Chapter Notes
     This is a really short chapter. Sorry. Next one will be longer.
You had changed into your other suit when dinner was announced, deciding you
should look better when you were actually supposed to be among your friends.
You were glad to see that Dirk had also changed into a more subtle suit as
well.
Feferi had you arranged around the table by blood color, probably more out of
habit then because she actually cared about the hemospectrum. Because of this,
you were seated between Aradia and Tavros, neither one of whom you had an issue
with. Tavros was of course, scared of you, but you could carry on a
conversation with Aradia well enough so it didn&#x2019;t really matter. Dirk
was on the opposite side of Tavros, so you could occasionally throw a few words
his way as well. That was, when you weren&#x2019;t enjoying the rich food on
your plate. Directly across the table from you was Eridan, who was obviously
not in any mood to talk tonight. He stared at his food and pushed it around on
his plate, only occasionally nodding to Roxy or Rose&#x2019;s comments. Feferi
was talking excitedly with Karkat and some other rust blood. Her fish puns
flowed freely from her mouth and you found her high, almost whiny laugh a bit
annoying. She was too emotional for you.
You noticed John talking to Vriska animatedly and you could almost swear you
heard the words &#x201C;Troll Nick Cage&#x201D; slip past his grey lips. On
John&#x2019;s left, Equius was also quiet, but you noticed him and Aradia
making silent conversation across the table. The mead they had served with
dinner was obviously affecting the two of them, because you could read their
Red/Black flirting like a book. It made you want to gag, so you shifted your
gaze down the table some more, letting your eyes catch Terezi&#x2019;s glasses.
She seemed to be enthralled with some story Jake was telling her. You could
hear her high voice over the noisy room saying &#x201C;Yes, but what did it
taste like, Jake?&#x201D;
On your side of the table, Kanaya, Jade and Nepeta all seemed to be talking
animatedly about fashion. You quickly tried to refocus your eyes. Sollux and
Dirk were indulging in eating, but talking about robotics and coding in between
bites.
You were going to turn back to your food and just keep eating when a sudden
outburst hushed the room.
&#x201C;I am not a fuckin&#x2019; wwizard and you need ta stop fuckin&#x2019;
hittin&#x2019; on me!&#x201D; Eridan spat, standing from his seat. He threw his
royal purple napkin onto the table and turned to leave. Roxy looked stunned as
she stared at the fish-prince. Eridan stomped off, ignoring the hushed whispers
travelling around the room and other tables. Feferi was half way out of her
chair when Vriska stood and waved to her to sit back down.
&#x201C;I&#x2019;ll go see what&#x2019;s wrong with him. It&#x2019;s
fine.&#x201D; Vriska said, following Eridan&#x2019;s general direction out of
the main palace hall. After a few moments of silence, the hall exploded into
noise again. Your entr&#xE9;es were cleared to bring in something you guessed
was dessert. By the confused looks of the other, lower-blooded trolls around
you, you assumed correctly.
About halfway through dessert, Vriska re-entered the hall and went to whisper
something to Feferi before sitting down. Feferi seemed pleased with whatever
she had said, because she continued talking.
Once you&#x2019;d had enough of eating, you decided to exit the grandeur of the
hall yourself and go see how Crowdad was doing on the rooftop habitat Feferi
had created for him and the other lusii.
You easily navigated the hallways and stairs to get to the rooftop paradise by
the sea. As soon as you stepped foot on the roof, Crowdad was at your side,
nuzzling into your neck and cawing affectionately at you.
&#x201C;Hey, Crowdad&#x2026;.&#x201D; You smiled despite yourself and petted
his feathers between his eyes, the way he liked. Crowdad just cawed again and
ruffled his feathers at you. &#x201C;What are you up to out here, you brainless
feathery asshole?&#x201D; There was no venom behind the words and if Crowdad
took offense, he didn&#x2019;t express it. He just waddled toward the other
lusii near the pool on the roof. You were wondering why he&#x2019;d go back
over there when you noticed the splash of purple against shiny white scales,
feathers, and fur. Royal purple.
You were silent as you approached the cluster of lusii, not wanting to shock
them or Eridan, who was curled up against a giant white seahorse. The
seahorse&#x2019;s head lay affectionately across Eridan&#x2019;s lap. The
seatroll was rubbing the scales just behind the lusus&#x2019;s eyes. Dried
purple streaks ran down his grey skin, purple-tinted eyes staring somberly at
his hands against the white scales beneath his fingers.
You must have made some noise walking up because the violet eyes looked up to
meet your shades.
&#x201C;Vvris, I told you to leavve alone&#x2014;oh. Wwhat do you
wwant?&#x201D; Eridan said, sighing.
&#x201C;Sup trolldude?&#x201D; You reply nonchalantly, patting Gulldad for
Dirk. &#x201C;Sorry about Lush Lalonde, she thinks Captain Morgan is a valid
sylladex option.&#x201D; You sat on the side of the pool, a couple feet away
from the purple-blooded troll. He continued to send an almost icy glare your
way. You ignored the look and instead patted Crowdad as he lay down next to
you. Gulldad also seemed attached to you, curling up behind you.
&#x201C;Are both a&#x2019; those your lusii?&#x201D; Eridan asked, turning his
gaze from you to the two birds.
&#x201C;Only Crowdad.&#x201D; You reply and pet the brainless feathery asshole.
The bird didn&#x2019;t even blink. &#x201C;Gulldad is Dirk&#x2019;s.&#x201D;
You looked over at Eridan. &#x201C;So, what&#x2019;s got your bulge in a
twist?&#x201D;
Eridan stared back for a moment. &#x201C;That&#x2019;s a discussion for my
moray-al. Not a stranger like you.&#x201D; He said, turning to look back at the
pond.
&#x201C;Hey man, I&#x2019;m just trying to be nice.&#x201D; You say, reaching
down into the pool to feel the water. It was slightly warm to the touch.
&#x201C;Nice? I&#x2019;vve heard that Striders aren&#x2019;t vvery
nice.&#x201D; Eridan mumbled.
&#x201C;Alright man, if you&#x2019;re gunna be rude like that, I&#x2019;ll just
do a flying pirouette backwards out the door. Later trolldude.&#x201D; You roll
your eyes as you stand, walking toward the door. At the last moment, after
you&#x2019;ve already kicked the door open, you proceed to do a pirouette out
the door and are surprised to hear laughter behind you.
&#x201C;Strider&#x2019;s gunna stride. Don&#x2019;t be laughin&#x2019; at my
swag man.&#x201D;
&#x201C;Wwhatevver.&#x201D;
***** Near Death Experiences *****
You didn&#x2019;t see Eridan the rest of the time you were at Feferi&#x2019;s
palace. In fact, you learned he left the night you&#x2019;d caught him on the
roof.
Needless to say, you soon forgot the talk between the two of you had ever
happened. You were too busy being in else times, elsewhere, doing else things.
The most important of which was helping the rest of your Troll friends by re-
writing the laws of Alternia. You and Aradia had tried for some extensive
changes, but none of them took, as certain things, like hemospectrum laws, were
too deeply ingrained across all timelines for any alterations to result in a
successful timeline. Eventually, the two of you worked something out. Adult
trolls were still going to be sent off planet, but to places where they wanted
to be, and not where their blood dictated. They could also stay on planet if
they wanted to care for young trolls, which was an admittedly brilliant idea
suggested by Kanaya.
Approximately a perigee was spent on changing Alternia. By the time you finally
got home, you were feeling thoroughly socialized and equally exhausted. Your
bent up hive looked like no one had touched it in perigees. Aside from the
couple of stolen game grubs. Apparently, some troll had decided it was a good
idea to steal them while you were away. You didn&#x2019;t care too much. As
part of Feferi&#x2019;s new high council, you were entitled to more things than
most other trolls. Not that you would take advantage of it, seeing as all
you&#x2019;d done with said privelages was go and get a shirt made. One with
your broken record in bright red on it. It reminded you of the time not too
long ago. But it all seemed so far away. The game, the past. It was all so far
away.
Your first couple of days back to your hive were spent cleaning. You and
Crowdad scoured the space, rinsing and scrubbing every little nook and cranny
you could find. (He. Nook and cranny. No one was around, you could indulge in a
juvenile pun.) The whole place practically shined by the time the pair of you
were done. After those few days, you spent the better part of two weeks playing
the games you had left over. You began to get restless though, as you often did
back in Huston. Those were the times you&#x2019;d take off without telling Bro,
running through the streets, stealing from convenience stores and breaking into
your school. You were never caught. You supposed you had your time manipulation
abilities to blame for that. Remembering back, you saw all those little red
streams of time flowing around you as you made your escapes.
Here, on Alternia, you were too far from a convenience store to rob one, and
the chances of you getting culled for it were much higher. Plus, after the
first couple of petty thieving ventures you embarked on, the rush began to fade
from the criminal act.
Crowdad cawed expectantly at you as you paced past him for the fiftieth time.
When you looked at him, he ruffled his wings.
&#x201C;Want out, Crowdad?&#x201D; You asked, realizing he wanted to go for a
fly. Crowdad bumped your chest with his beak. &#x201C;Yeah? Fuck man, then
let&#x2019;s go.&#x201D;
You started toward the door, picking up your katana. It was like your swag, you
never left home without it. Crowdad happily followed.
Once outside, you slid onto the overgrown feathery asshole&#x2019;s back and
within seconds, you were soaring through the sky, over dessert and plains. You
decided to go with the flow more than ususal, and let Crowdad decide where to
take you for this venture. He seemed intent on going to the sea. You&#x2019;d
been once before, on your way to Feferi&#x2019;s palace, but you&#x2019;d gone
to the east, rather than the south. The tips of the mountains were already
under your feet as Crowdad flew, sure winged.
A large cloud bank engulfed you and everything went white. You couldn&#x2019;t
see anything in front of you except a thick blanket of condensation. Crowdad
didn&#x2019;t seem to mind, flying along easily. The clouds began to thin and
you emerged over the vast green-blue sea of Alternia. You could see some small
islands out in the distance; one seemed to have an old ship lodged into the
black rocks of its landscape. Aside from the one ship, the rest of the islands
were bare, as was the sky around you. There were a few, small clouds clustered
about. Crowdad was hovering over the water, catching his breath while you
checked your surroundings. He looked back at you, asking for directions.
&#x201C;Go toward that ship. I wanna check it out.&#x201D; You said, nudging
Crowdad with your knees. He cawed softly and started toward the ship at a slow
pace, allowing you to look around.
Somehow between staring at the mountains behind you, the sea below you and the
islands in front of you, you forgot that other hostile trolls were around you.
A rip of blue light and deadly heat screamed passed you, tearing your eyes from
the scenery and scaring Crowdad. The next thing you knew, you were falling from
the back of your trusted lusus. Falling toward the crashing blue waves below.
Somehow you managed to twist around, searching for Crowdad.
The bird was shrieking and attacking an equally sized white seahorse with a
purple-caped rider attached to it.
You recognized that cape. From where in your odd think pan you didn&#x2019;t
know.
Realizing that you were still falling from mountain top height and that the
water looked much closer than it did a second ago, your lives, human and troll,
flashed before your eyes. You never knew people had actually meant it when they
said that their life flashed before them in near-death experiences. You
realized you were wrong to call them crackpots.
And then, you hit the water.
The last thing you registered before losing consciousness was that the water
was much too cold for your burning skin.
For a while after that, everything was black, silent and cold. Like what they
always taught you space felt like in school. The water, you supposed, began to
rush past your skin, tingling and tickling your senses. Then, what felt like
the sun&#x2019;s rays on your skin.
But that was impossible. You wouldn&#x2019;t be able to be in the Alternian
sun. It would fry you to a crisp. But in harmony, Alternia&#x2019;s twin moons
provided nearly as much light as Earth&#x2019;s sun had.
And then cold rocks were digging into your back and legs. You could feel the
oceans waves on your calves and a presence hovering over you.
&#x201C;Oh fuck. I didn&#x2019;t mean to krill anyone! I thought it wwas just a
passin&#x2019; lusus!&#x201D; The voice above you spoke with aristocracy and
fish puns. This could only mean a sea-dweller had shot at you and then rescued
you. But like the purple cape, this voice reminded you of something. Someone in
particular. But you couldn&#x2019;t remember who.
Well shit. On one hand you were shot at. By a fricking laser beam. On the other
hand, it wasn't on purpose. Or porpoise, which you supposed the sea-dweller
freaking out above you might say.
Wait. Why the ever-loving fuck would you be thinking about cheesy fish puns
after a fall from thousands of feet in the air? Your think pan hadn't been
replaced by a bag of marshmallows, which you would totally object to, because
marshmallows were tasty morsels of cloudy deliciousness, but weren't nearly
cool or ironic enough to be a replacement for the fine, jewel encrusted think
pan you already possessed. Goddammit, derpy nonsequitors are Egbert's domain
and you shouldn't be intruding upon your best bro&#x2019;s territory. That was
not a thing that had to happen.
Clearly, the fall, or landing, which was probably the important part of the
equation, had fucked with your head.
Or maybe it was that lack of air thing you just noticed.
Both were likely culprits.
&#x201C;Ship, ship, ship! Wwhat do I do?&#x201D; The sea-dweller was panicking
again, but a nicker broke through his freaked lamenting. You knew that his
lusus must be instructing him on the proper course of action while you were
slowly drowning on dry land.
&#x201C;But that means I wwould havve to&#x2026;.!&#x201D; The sea-dweller
protested. A angry squawk came from your other side. Crowdad was chiming in for
your benefit.
&#x201C;I hope you fuckin&#x2019; livve.&#x201D; The sea-dweller muttered,
closer now than before.
Then a pair of freezing lips pressed to yours and provided your lungs with much
needed air. You were so grateful, you could kiss the sea-dweller above you. You
guessed you&#x2019;d pretty much already done that. Half a second ago in fact.
But you could always do it more thoroughly. Later, when you didn't need an
amplifier for that seriously ill beat called fucking oxygen.
Another breath later and you were sitting up and sputtering, water gushing from
between your lips. Just the sounds you were making were atrocious. You could
only imagine the horrid picture you painted, vomiting water onto your own
pants. Gross dude. Just gross.
&#x201C;Oh thank cod! Are you alright??&#x201D; The sea-dweller said, panic
still in his voice.
&#x201C;Oh just fucking peachy. Could run a marathon across the whole gogdamn
planet. Leap over mountains, traverse seas, conquer worlds. Wonder what I could
do when I haven&#x2019;t almost just drowned?&#x201D; You managed, opening your
eyes. You immediately noticed something very wrong about this picture. You
could see. But there was no shady filter. Your shades were gone. The shades
were important. You very, very carefully, avoid a 4x NINJA FREAKOUT DOUCHEBAG
FINISHING MOVE, and focus on everything but your missing specs. Like say, the
caped highblood above you.
The purple-blood before you was staring at you like you were that one puppy
someone had just viciously kicked. And he was the assailant. Which of course,
you guessed he was. After all, he&#x2019;d just shot you out of the sky. Which
would have been much more offensive if said assailant didn't look like the
poster child for those PSA announcements where people who were bedraggled and
hard on their luck stated how much they regretted the follies of their youth,
and that you shouldn't repeat their mistakes, but say no to alcohol/drugs/porn/
sodomy/cigarettes.
Maybe you were concussed.
The thought might have merit.
&#x201C;You don&#x2019;t havve to be such a total beach aboat it.&#x201D;
So said the highblood in a cape. A royal purple cape, which was so ironic, you
weren't sure whether or not to feel enlightened or offended that someone was
upping you at your own game.
"I do so have to be a beach about it, sand wedgies non-withstanding. In the
Strider manual, page 52, section 5, regarding accidental injury and death, it
states pretty clear that all falls from a height of 100 feet or more require
that I engage the first 4 levels of bitch."
&#x201C;Oh reely? An&#x2019; wwhat wwould the first four levvels a&#x2019;
beach be?&#x201D; The highblood stood, glaring down at you. You had to admit,
he had just as many quippy comebacks as you. You might have actually found a
rival worthy of your swag here.
"They would be suck on a lemon, eat battery acid, learn to auto-fellate, and go
fuck your lusus like you do every Friday night. All succeeding levels of bitch
require intentional personal harm. They&#x2019;re so dangerous, they require
it.&#x201D;
&#x201C;You kiss your lusus wwith that wword vvomittin&#x2019; mouth?&#x201D;
The sea-dweller laughed. &#x201C;You don&#x2019;t havve to let the wwhole cod
dam planet knoww about your after-hours specials.&#x201D;
Dam. This guy was good. Fish pun intentional this time.
"I might take offense at being called an after-hours special. All Strider
interactions are red carpet and silver screen worthy at all times. And I do
have to advertise my gripping emotional entanglements, lest the world be
deprived of the everlasting glory that is Strider at any given time.&#x201D;
&#x201C;Shore. Wwhatevver. Except I wwouldn&#x2019;t buy that hoofbeastship.
Carp, I wwouldn&#x2019;t touch it wwith a ten-foot harpoon.&#x201D; The
highblood scoffed, crossing his arms over his narrow chest. You noticed a
shiver run through him. The sides of his shirt were billowing slightly, as if
he were breathing through his rib cage.
&#x201C;Oh yeah? I must be pretty interesting then, because you still have me
within that harpoons reach.&#x201D;
"Like you're wworthy a&#x2019; a mighty wweapon like Ahab's Crosshairs. Noww
get up if you can. Wwe reely should get you to my hivve to treat that
concussion. Unless you wwant to further the damage to your think pan by
comin&#x2019; up wwith more wwitty comebacks?" The sea-dweller turned to take
the saddle off of his lusus, who nudged him affectionately.
You had to admit, his idea had weight. Your head had begun to throb and you
were suddenly very tired. It was almost like you had fallen from a height of
certain death-OH YEAH WAIT.&#x201C;Yeah&#x2026; alright.&#x201D;
You shakily stood, groaning softly at the effort. Your whole body hurt like you
were hit by a raging freight train and your vision was spotty because you had
moved too quickly. Crowdad was instantly at your side to support you.
&#x201C;Don&#x2019;t movve too quickly.&#x201D; The highblood rolled his eyes
at you. &#x201C;You&#x2019;ll hurt yourself evven more.&#x201D; The highblood
stepped forward to support your other side. He was like an ice cube against
your wet shirt and skin.
&#x201C;Jegus, you&#x2019;re freezing!&#x201D; You tried to push him away
slightly, shivering.
&#x201C;Quit bein&#x2019; a wwriggler. I&#x2019;m cold blooded. Purple blood.
Duh.&#x201D; Shame would have filled you at the quite frankly obvious little
tidbit of logic, but shame, like bad hair days, ardently avoided all Striders.
The sea-dweller pulled you up to your feet when your knees started to buckle.
Good thing he was giving you a hand then. Adjusting one arm over his shoulder,
you took notice that you were a couple of inches taller than him, horns not
included. Which was an impressive feat because, like all sea-dwellers and
Sollux, he was notably tall and wiry.
With his help, you shakily made it into the ship that the aristocrat obviously
used as a hive. He ditched you on a royal purple sofa and moved further back in
his hive, toward what you guessed was his respite block. He emerged a few
seconds later, carrying some towels and clothes.
&#x201C;You&#x2019;re a little bit taller than me, but I think you&#x2019;ll
fit in these.&#x201D; He unceremoniously dropped a pile of clothing on your
chest and laid a towel on the floor. &#x201C;Put your clothes on that.
I&#x2019;m goin&#x2019; to change. Don&#x2019;t fall asleep.&#x201D;
&#x201C;If I&#x2019;d known you were this eager to have me in your hive, I
would have dressed nicer.&#x201D; You retorted at his back as he stalked away.
The seahorse in the corner let out another nicker that sounded a lot like a
laugh. You smirked at him. &#x201C;Glad to know someone has a sense of
humor.&#x201D; You looked down at the clothes in your lap. A black long-sleeved
shirt and a pair of blue-striped pants. No underwear. Wonderful. So you were
going to chafe for the rest of the time you were here and on your already
taxing ride home.
Regardless of your personal issues with going freebird, you stood as well as
you could and started to strip. When you almost fell over backwards, the
seahorse came up behind you and held you up.
&#x201C;Thanks.&#x201D; You said, pulling the shirt on. It was made of a softer
fabric then your shirt was and the royal purple Aquarius mark on your chest
stood out more than your dark red had. You were obviously more muscled then the
Purple-blood. His shirt clung to your figure, and you could almost swear you
could see your wriggling scars on your sides.
You shimmied out of your pants and underwear grimacing at the way they stuck to
your hairless skin. It was almost like they were suction-cupped to your body.
As soon as you&#x2019;d pulled your legs out of the pants and tossed them to
join your shoes and shirt on the towel, you tried to step into the pants and
nearly fell again. The seahorse laughed again and you shot him a glare.
&#x201C;Who asked you?&#x201D; You shot back, pulling the pants up over your
thighs. A thought occurred to you. &#x201C;Hey, where&#x2019;s Crowdad?&#x201D;
It took you a moment to realize that the seahorse was shrugging at you, as if
to say &#x2018;The hell if I knoww.&#x2019;
You have no idea why the seahorse got the same speech impediment as your
assailant-turned-healer, but no one had the right to question your head-
cannons.
As if by some magical compelling source of connection, Crowdad came into the
hive, carrying a pair of shades in his mouth.
Dear God, you loved this brainless feathery asshole.
The giant crow came over and dropped the shades on the sofa next to you,
bumping you with his beak until you sat down. He was fussing over you
continuously when the sea-dweller came back from his respite block.
&#x201C;For cod&#x2019;s sake, he&#x2019;s not a wwriggler.&#x201D; The purple-
blooded troll said, waving the crow away. The sea-dweller himself then began to
fuss over you. &#x201C;You&#x2019;vve got a concussion. Howw many fingers am I
holdin&#x2019; up?&#x201D;
You rolled your eyes at him. You were about to open your mouth and tell him
that clearly you were way to sexy to be anything close to a wriggler, but
Crowdad squawked at you, anticipating your words. You shut your mouth and
frowned at the bird, reaching for your shades.
&#x201C;Two fingers.&#x201D; You muttered, sliding your shades into place over
your eyes. Crowdad thrummed happily behind you before waddling over to sit with
the seahorse.
&#x201C;Wwhat&#x2019;s your name?&#x201D; The sea-dweller continued, satisfied
with your answer.
&#x201C;Dave Strider.&#x201D; You replied nonchalantly. Everyone had a right to
know your name after all. You were Dave Strider. And all the bitches loved Dave
Strider.
&#x201C;Howw old are you?&#x201D;
&#x201C;Seven sweeps.&#x201D;
&#x201C;Wwho is the current Condecse?&#x201D;
&#x201C;Feferi Pexies.&#x201D;
&#x201C;Wwhat&#x2019;s your blood color?&#x201D;
&#x201C;Is this you actually checking what my think pan&#x2019;s status is, or
just finding out as much as you can about me?&#x201D; You smirked as the troll
flushed.
&#x201C;Just answwer the dam question.&#x201D; The sea-troll snapped, his face
and fins tinged purple.
&#x201C;Dark red. Rust Blood.&#x201D; You responded. &#x201C;My turn in the
question game now?&#x201D; You continued before he could ask you another dumb
question. &#x201C;What&#x2019;s your name?&#x201D;
The other rolled his eyes, but returned your question in kind. &#x201C;Eridan
Ampora.&#x201D;
Now why did that name sound familiar to you? That was another tick on the
recognition scale. Pair that with the cape, the pretentious asshole aura, the
thick-rimmed glasses, and the look of contempt the sea-troll was giving you,
you could swear you knew him somehow.
Your brain clicked into place when you noticed the little pair of golden wings
sewn into the cuff of the shirt you were wearing. The symbol for Hope from
Sburb.
You had a small flash back to being in Kanaya&#x2019;s room in Feferi&#x2019;s
palace and a purple-blood troll talking to Kanaya about being a &#x201C;Prince
a&#x2019; Hope.&#x201D;
&#x201C;You&#x2019;re the Prince of Hope, right?&#x201D; You said before you
could stop your mouth from opening. Eridan stared at you.
&#x201C;Howw do you knoww that title?&#x201D; He asked, sitting back to glare
at you, but his heart wasn&#x2019;t in the glare and there was fear in his
eyes.
&#x201C;Knight of Time, man. I played the game, same as you.&#x201D; You said,
frowning slightly at him. &#x201C;But I don&#x2019;t remember talking to you in
the game.&#x201D; Then again, you&#x2019;d talked to a fair few people (Vantas)
who had that sense of poncey righteousness (Vantas) about them, and you never
really bothered to remember who was who (Vantas).
&#x201C;You wwere one a&#x2019; the Humans, wweren&#x2019;t you? Otherwwise
you&#x2019;d havve a six letter name. Not four.&#x201D; Eridan seemed content
to avoid the subject of the game itself. &#x201C;Like Rose or Roxy.&#x201D; He
stepped away from you and the sofa and turned toward the cooking block.
&#x201C;You must be hungry&#x2026; I&#x2019;ll make something.&#x201D;
You watched him leave; a little surprised he had brushed you off so coolly.
Most of the time, no one could brush you off. Except maybe Dirk and Egbert. But
they were different. This was a guy you&#x2019;d met in passing, not one of
your closest friends. He should not have been able to just calmly walk away
from you.
But he had. He had just up and walked away from you.
&#x201C;Eridan Ampora, you may have as much swag as me. Imma have to keep an
eye on you&#x2026;&#x201D; You declared to yourself before promptly passing out
on the (rather convenient)sofa.
***** Time Shenanigans and Princely Pantaloons *****
Chapter Summary
     Bad things can't get worse right?
     Even after a huge fall from the sky and the back of his Lusus, Dave
     learns his near-death experience CAN be worse.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
“The thing with time travel is you can’t overthink it. You have to just roll
with it and see what happens. But above all else, you have to try not to do
anything retarded.” You explained to Eridan over breakfast. The two of you had
begun talking about the game two hours before when you’d woken up next to each
other in a cramped recooprecoon.
For your part, you had tried not to freak out about being naked and sharing a
coon with a troll who’d nearly killed you. Eridan had just laughed at you
before unabashedly crawling out of the coon and stalking around his room stark
naked.
In his defense, he really (or was it reely?) didn’t have to care what you
thought about his non-existent figure. He was so skinny, kid could shimmy
through the random port-holes spread along his ship-hive no problem.
And the port holes were TINY. There was no way, even with your slim athletic
build you could squeeze through those time holes.
And now that you’d seen Eridan do it, you were inclined never to even try
getting through those stupid things.
After the both of you had dressed (you in a pair of Eridan’s swim trunks and a
tank top that didn’t quite fit), Eridan had shown you his hive. He was
obviously a history nut. The things that surprised you were all the stupid
weird wizards! What was his obsession with wizards if the hipster didn’t
believe in magic???
But being you, you didn’t question the statue of Gandalf the Grey as you walked
past him, pausing only for a moment to ‘bump’ your fist to his staff.
Classic.
When the two of you had settled down for breakfast, Eridan had asked you about
your powers in the games and your world.
You’d told him briefly about LOHAC and in return he’d told you about LOWAA.
Though, he seemed hesitant to do so.
“So you can jump betwween timelines an’ stuff, but you can’t royally screww it
up, otherwwise you’ll be up to your bulge in dead Daves, right?” Eridan asked
as he picked at a piece of yellow oink-beast meat. He wasn’t as hungry as you
were obviously because you barely swallowed to talk.
“Exactly. And while Daves might be cool, being up to your bulge in dead ones
certainly isn’t.” You shoveled another scoop of orange cluckbeast eggs convered
in grub sauce into your mouth. You hardly chewed them before swallowing. Your
digestive sack could do the rest of the work for you.
“Do you alwways eat like that? You look like a starved barkbeast just out of
the desert.” Eridan shoved his plate aside, picking up his water glass instead.
“I’m a growing troll. I need my daily calorie intake of ironic proportions.”
You replied, finishing the last of your oinkbeast. He just rolled his eyes and
downed the water in his glass.
A moment of quiet tension settled between the two of you. You decided to say
the most random and raunchy thing your think-pan could come up with.
“So is the bucket really necessary?”
Eridan choked slightly and looked up at you, eyes wide. “Wwhat the fuck kind a’
question is that?”
“Honest curiosity, bro. I haven’t really gotten the opportunity to play with my
troll junk yet.” You shrugged, pillar of stoicism as always. It was Eridan’s
turn to blush and look away from you. He toyed with the glass in his hands for
a moment before replying.
“Is that reely an honest question? Or are you offerin’?” He asked, looking up
at you with probably the most pitiable look you had ever seen.
What the fuck kind of word is ‘pity’??
“Honest question, you dork. I already said that.” You laughed when Eridan’s jaw
dropped and he stared at you.
“Did you just call me a wwhale penis?”
~~~~~
After you cleared up the “whale penis” thing with Eridan, he’d checked your
head injury again, deeming you fit to travel. No talk of buckets happened,
though. Which was too bad. You really wanted to know if they were necessary.
For some reason, you didn’t really want to leave his weird ship-hive. But you
also didn’t want any more of your precious game grubs stolen. So you sucked it
up, found your clothes (freshly laundered by one of your lusii), got dressed
and prepared for the flight home.
Eridan followed you around like a lost puppy, as if he were unsure what to do
after you left.
Just as you were shimming your way up Crowdad’s back, Eridan spoke.
“Hey… You’re wwelcome back again.” He shuffled on his feet, standing near you
and Crowdad. You blinked at him, caught off guard by his invitation. “If you
wwant.”
You looked at the troll again, eyeing his slim frame up and down. You figured
he had to be nearly as lonely as you, being an outcast from the rest of your
friends.
“Sure, bro. That’d be cool.” You nodded, offering your fist for a bump. He
didn’t hesitate to bump you back. “What’s your troll handle though? I don’t
wanna be shot at again.”
To your surprise, Eridan grinned instead of looking sheepish like you thought
he would. “I’m caligusAquarium.”
You nodded. “Alright bro. See you later.”
With a nudge of your knees, Crowdad took off into the sky. You were soaring
over the sea when you looked back, finding Eridan still standing on the beach,
watching you go. A pang of pity rang through your blood pusher—until it was cut
off by someone messaging you on your iShades.
--golgothasTerror [GT] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] at 9pm—
GT: dave?
TG: yeah
TG: jake right?
GT: oh!
GT: There you are!
GT: I was afraid you’d died or something!
TG: nope im still one hundred percent alive and kicking troll ass
GT: Where have you been??
GT: Dirk has been in a tizzy all worried about you!
TG: i got attacked
GT: Oh bugger!
GT: Did you give your attacker a good what-for??
TG: yeah bro
TG: i kicked his troll ass
GT: Well, i’ll just let dirk know then
GT: He’s been TERRIBLY worried about you
GT: Not that he’d ever say so!
TG: sweet deal bro
TG: later then
GT: So long!
--golgothasTerror [GT] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] at 9:05pm—
You honestly had no idea why your brother would be so worried about you. It’s
not like you guys were particularly close to begin with. You opened the
blinking troll log your brother had left you in your absence for the past
couple days.
--timaeusTestified [TT] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] two nights ago at
8:53pm—
TT: Hey bro.
TT: Have you heard from John yet?
TT: I’m sorry bro.
TT: Dave?
TT: Dave?
TT: Man, you need to make sure you log off your Trollian next time you leave.
TT: Dave?
TT: Bro, where are you?
TT: This isn’t funny man. We live on a planet full of murderous trolls.
TT: Dave Strider, where the fuck are you?
-- timaeusTestified [TT] was not able to troll turntechGodhead [TG] and
connection was terminated--
Heard from John? What would John have to tell you that was so important your
BRO was worried about it?
A glance at John’s troll handle told you he’d also tried to reach you, though
more adamantly then Dirk had.
But before you opened the log up, you thought for a moment.
Whatever it was John had to say must not have been good, otherwise no one would
be worried about you at all.
And somehow, deep down in the pit of your digestive track, you knew you didn’t
want to know what John had said.
But at the same time, you felt that you already knew.
--ectoBiologist [EB] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] two nights ago at 7:
33pm—
EB: dave!!!!!!!!
EB: daaaaaaaave!
EB ehehehe
EB: dave, you’ll never guess what happened!
EB: guess!
EB: oh, you’re not there?
EB: that’s ok!
EB: ehehe
EB: vriska’s my matesprit now!
EB: i know you don’t like her……..
EB: but, you’re still my best bro, right?
EB: dave?
EB: dave? are you there?
EB: oh gog dave… i’m sorry if you’re upset……..
EB: are we still friends?
EB: dave?
EB: i guess i’ll just leave you alone now……..
EB: i’m so sorry dave........
--ectoBiologist [EB] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG] two nights ago at 8:
05pm—
Tears clouded your eyes, forcing you to take your shades off to see. As you
wiped the tears away before they could fall, crowdada cawed softly at you,
sensing your distress.
“Just go back to the hive.” You told him, patting his neck, tears spilling,
uncontrollably down your face.
Chapter End Notes
     The ending of this chapter was something I discussed with Heimdall
     earlier today. I didn't realize until I sat down at my computer to
     write the ending that I had already set up a major plot point that I
     had no intention of even being in this fiction until this morning....
     Dave is my favorite kid next to Dirk, but even the coolkids can be
     fazed by someone they love....
     Also, this chapter is a bit rushed i think, but i don't know what
     else to add to stretch it out a bit... so it stays as it is. it's
     also short. sorry.
***** Misery Loves Company *****
Chapter Summary
     Dave.... Dave... no. What are you doing...? Dave?? NO!!! DAVE NO!!!
     WHAT ARE YOU DOING???
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
It had been almost a week since you’d gotten back to your hive after the
encounter with Eridan. Almost a week since you’d learned of John’s
matespritship with Huge Bitch. Almost a week that you’d cried yourself to sleep
every night.
Not that you’d ever tell anyone.
But you were done crying now. You were done crying, and now you were angry.
Angry at Vriska.
Angry at the world.
But most of all, you were angry at John.
You were better for him then she’d ever be, and yet he chose her?
What sort of cruel, twisted world was Alternia anyway? The largest maximum
security prison in the universe where people took turns getting raped by the
bigger, tougher inmates??
Because that’s what it seemed life was doing to you. It seemed life was dead
set of shooting you dead, right in the face, then bum-fucking your dead carcass
hard enough to make you explode.
And that about puts you at where you are now: sitting on your lounger, cocooned
in a blanket, munching on a handful of orange creamsicles, watching that stupid
thing Karkat calls a movie, “Fifty First Dates”.
You had to admit, a perigee ago, you’d had never thought you’d find yourself in
the same position as KARKAT of all people.
Of course, you also never suspected you’d be shot out of the sky by a purple-
cape wearing prince riding a giant white-scaled seahorse.
Which was possibly the gayest thing you’d ever heard of. You wondered if Eridan
knew or even cared what he looked like.
Approximately half-way through the bullshit movie, you shut it off, seeking
better entertainment on your GrubTop. John (thankfully) was not online, but it
seemed no one else really was either. A look at your clock told you why.
It was almost 8am. Everyone you knew was probably sleeping.
Everyone, but Eridan, it seemed. You spotted his trollhandle at the bottom of
the listing, lit up to tell you he was online.
Without thinking much about it, you opened up a chat and started to type
whatever came to your mind.
--turntechGodhead [TG] began trolling caligusAquarium [CA] at 8:02am--
TG: hey bro
TG: whats keeping you up this late?
CA: wwhat?
CA: oh this must be davve.
TG: yeah
TG: howd you guess?
CA: i havve an ability to sense reely big bassholes a course
TG: only because you are one
CA: i find that offensivve
TG: oops
TG: didnt mean to hurt the poor fish-princesses feelings
CA: says the current leading lady of fallin’ from the sky
TG: too soon bro
CA: yeah
CA: it reely wwas a loww bloww
TG: yeah
TG: don’t worry i forgive you
CA: so glad to havve your fogivveness my lovve
TG: you’d better be lambchop
TG: all joking aside
TG: whats up?
CA: just sittin’ around
CA: couldn’t sleep for some reason
TG: that sucks bro
CA: i’ll say
CA: wwhat aboat you
TG: i was watching fifty first dates
TG: but that movie sucks
CA: isn’t that like kar’s favvorite movvie
TG: yeah he loaned it to me
CA: could havve been wworse
TG: how so?
CA: could havve been con air
TG: you have con air
CA: wwhat kinda hipster do you take me for
CA: a course i havve con air
CA: that movvie sucks
TG: its the worst
TG: its also john’s favorite movie
CA: oh yeah
CA: i heard aboat that
CA: vvris told me they wwere together
CA: ……
CA: this might be an odd question
CA: but are you okay
TG: what are you talking about man?
TG: im fine
TG: chill
TG: chiller then the ice caps
CA: there are no ice caps on alternia
CA: they melted eons ago
TG: oh
CA: so i take it you’re not as good as you clam to be
TG: no
TG: why else would i watch one of karkats romcoms?
CA: point
CA: …….
CA: need to glub aboat it
TG: what?
CA: your feelin’s
CA: do you need to talk aboat them
TG: what feelings?
TG: striders don’t have feelings
CA: dave
CA: you can’t fool me
CA: i am the fuckin’ prince a feelin’s
CA: i feel evveryfin’
TG: isn’t talking about “feelings” reserved for the diamond-y thing-y?
CA: moirails
CA: an’ yes
CA: for the most part
CA: just thought id offer
TG: ok
TG: well
TG: thanks for the offer bro
CA: anytime i guess
CA: ……..
TG: …….
TG: what
CA: don’t knoww wwhat to sea now
TG: me either
CA: wwhale
CA: do you wwanna come ovver again
CA: I promise not to shoot you this time
TG: …….
TG: yeah
TG: sounds good
You and Eridan spent the next few minutes going over your time of arrival the
next day.
The way you saw it was that even if he’d tried to kill you a week ago, Eridan
was probably the only person you could stand right now.
He was also just about as lonely and miserable as you, and misery loves
company. And maybe he’d finally answer that damn question about the buckets.
~~~~~
You shouldn’t have opened the black bag at the back of Eridan’s storage mini-
block. You should’ve left it where it was like he’d told you to.
Instead, you sat on the floor of his storage mini-block, grinning at the purple
cape and armor in your hands.
You’d found Eridan’s FLARP costume.
You really couldn’t believe he used to wear this flashy of an outfit. It was
outrageous, even for him. The cape was impossibly more purple and the armor was
legitimately made to withstand attacks (although if Eridan was FLARPing with
Vriska, it was probably made like that on purpose).
You stared at that costume for quite a while. You honestly don’t know how long.
But the something possessed you and you put the costume on.
And then you were running around Eridan’s ship hive like an excited grub,
screaming pirate-y words at the top of your lungs.
Not that you would ever admit it.
There were no witnesses, either. Eridan was out hunting with Seahorsedad,
leaving you and Crowdad to defend the nest, so you were free to run around in
Eridan’s FLARP costume screaming pirate-y words at wizard statues and waving
your katana at them.
You really were glad Eridan was gone, because you would be so embarrassed to
have him walk in on you while you were gallivanting around like this. It was
neither cool, nor ironic, but by Hephaestus you were doing it. You were makin’
it hapen.
It was when you stopped to wave your katana at the life-sized statue of Harry
Potter in full Hogwarts robes that an idea occurred to you. It was a dumb,
ridiculous, STUPID idea.
And you honestly loved it.
So you waited, patiently by the entrance portal to Eridan’s hive.
One way or another, Eridan was going to answer that damn question about the
buckets. Even if it meant you had to ambush him and force it out of him.
Which was EXACTLY what you were going to do. You knew Eridan be back soon, he’s
been gone for almost two hours already. All you had to do now was wait for him
to arrive. You just hoped he’d be a good mood but he came back, otherwise your
plan would never work.
A few minutes passed and you were getting restless. Why wasn’t he back yet? It
wasn’t like killing something was that hard to do.
But even as you are thinking this, you heard feet hit the gravel outside, and
Eridan’s voice coming through the walls of his hive.
As you listened, his voice came closer and closer, and the door opened to
reveal Eridan and Seahorsedad back from their hunting trip, Eridan carrying
Seahorsedad’s saddle under his arm.
“Davve? You still here?” Eridan called out, unable to see you.
“Kneel mother fucker!” You yelled jumping out of your hiding place.
Eridan screamed and almost fell over, shocked by your sudden appearance.
“Cod dam it Davve! You scared me!” Eridan grumbled, frowning at you. His hair
was stuck to his face with sea-spray and he looked a bit disgruntled. “Wwhy are
you wwearin’ my FLARP costume?” Eridan looked at you pointedly. “If you’d
wwanted inta my pants this bad, ya coulda just asked.” He set the saddle on
it’s pedestal next to the door.
When he turned to look at you, you held up your sword. “Ye best be ready for a
fight matey, because this time I won’t take no fer an answer!” You drawled out
at him and you could see it in his body as he tried to hold back his laughter.
“Wwhat the fuck are you on aboat? You’re dressed like a fuckin’ FLARPer and
threatin’ the great Dualscar wwith that flimsy blade?!!” Eridan grinned back at
you like a shark from the end of your blade. You saw his hand go to his pocket,
presumably for his ‘wwhite science wwand’.
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you, Dualscar.” You smirked, flicking your sword
toward his pocket. “Yer defenses were weak, practically nothin’ fer me to sneak
past.” You had to admit, for some reason, you were really drawn into this whole
FLARPing thing. Must have been the clothes.
“It’s hard to havve defenses put up to keep someone so close out. Your betrayal
cuts me deeper then your swword evver could, Composer.” For the first time
since you’d met Eridan, you could see a playful spark in his turning-purple
eyes as his face split into a grin. You couldn’t help but grin back. You moved
your katana blade back up to rest it on his shoulder, next to his neck.
“You’re goin’ ta give me what I want, Dualscar. Or I’ll end you, right where
you stand.” You pushed him back against the entrance portal, making sure you
didn’t stab the wall.
“An’ just wwhat is it you wwant from me, my moirail?” Eridan asked, sneering at
you. You were so caught up in the moment, you didn’t notice him call you
‘moirail’.
“I want some information, an’ you’re not gettin’ away without telling me.” You
moved closer to him, grinning still. You thought it might be stuck on your
face, you hadn’t done it for so long.
“Wwhat do you wwant to knoww?” He asked back, moving toward you as well.
“Are. The. Mother. Fucking. Buckets. Necessary?”
Chapter End Notes
     I had to do it guys.
     I had to write a chapter with Dave being a complete dork! BAHAHAHAHA.
     Check out the SWAG playlist on my YouTube channel!
     http://www.youtube.com/
     playlist?list=PL9145EB44E50A0916&feature=mh_lolz
***** The Kids Will Play *****
Chapter Notes
     I have no idea how this chapter came to be. But it's what you get.
“It’s always so easy for the bad guys to catch the good guys.” Dualscar grinned
at Mindfang who returned the expression with much more malice then anyone
thought was necessary.
“W-wait… uh… why are we… captured?” The Summoner squeaked, breaking character.
“Puuuuuuuupa! Just go along with it!” Mindfang whined, pouting at Dualscar
before continuing with her own lines. “They really are a bunch of imbeciles!”
The Composer and Redglare stood contemplatively behind Mindfang and Dualscar,
wondering what it was exactly they were supposed to be doing in this not-very-
well-thought-out scene (Vriska’s writing sucked).
In front of Dualscar and Mindfang were their victims, bound and on their knees.
The Summoner and the Handmaid both frowned up at Team Scourge.
“Wait a minute, why do you have more people on your team then us?” The Handmaid
frowned. “That’s not fair!”
“All’s fair in lovve and wwar.” Dualscar shrugged.
The Handmaid continued to glare, this time directing the gaze at the Composer.
“Your betrayal hurts me, brother.” She was prodded by the end of Dualscar’s
weapon for her trouble.
The Composer stared passively at the scene in front of him, face inscrutable
behind his mask. In truth, he wasn’t quite sure what to do. He wore Dualscar’s
emblem on his shoulder, signifying his allegiances to the darker side of the
veil.
“Yeah! You… uhm… really are a jerk!” In his defense, the Summoner had obviously
never been good at this sort of thing. Mindfang simply cackled at his words.
“Oh poor little Pupa! Trapped with all his friends and no one to rescue him!”
“Vriska! I… uh… told you to stop calling me Pupa!” The Summonder frowned.
“Yeah. Wwhat the hell Vvris? Quit breakin’ character!” Dualscar affirmed,
frowning as well. Redglare snickered and muttered something quietly to the
Composer.
“Oh shut uuuuuuuup!” Mindfang pouted, turning her back on her team, a blush
staining her face. “It’s been a loooooooong time since we’ve done this!”
“Wwhat should wwe do wwith them?” Dualscar spoke up again, moving the plot (or
what there was of it) along. He turned to face the two behind him. “She is your
sister after all. At least at the blood-pusher levvel.” He continued.
“Obviously, sister doesn’t mean anything where Moirails are involved!” Mindfang
grinned again, back in character. He gaze flitted back and forth between
Dualscar and the Composer.
“We share the same blood!” The Handmaid muttered, staring directly at the
Composer, who again showed no signs of even hearing her, hand on the sword at
his side.
“Your blood is a different taste! More coppery then his apple-tasting Red
Deliciousness!” Redglare grinned, swinging an arm around the Composer’s
shoulders heavily. They both stumbled for a moment before regaining their
silent, stoic posture.
“Wwell?” Dualscar urged, getting impatient. He prodded the Handmaid with Ahab’s
Crosshairs once more. “The choice is yours, Moirail.” He said the word
‘moirail’ a bit more hesitantly around others then he did when it was just him
and the Composer.
“Why does heeeeeeee get to choose?” Mindfang whined, pouting. “I want to kill
Pupa!” She raised her Fluorite Octet.
“Vriska! Again??” Redglare rolled her eyes. “Stop breaking character! We
already told you! Dave get’s to choose because he’s never done this before!”
“It’s only fair, Vvris.”
“Fair, schmair!” She sulked, but lowered her weapons.
“I uh… would like to say that… I uh… have done nothing wrong!” The Summoner
said, trying to stand. Mindfang pushed him back down to his knees.
“Me either.” The Handmaid said, still staring at the Composer.
“Havve you decided yet, Composer?” Dualscar asked, moving to stand beside the
other.
The Composer remained silent until Dualscar was the only one within hearing
range, as Redglare had moved over to scold Mindfang.
“Yeah, I decided.” He muttered softly, drawing his sword silently from its
scabbard.
“Wwell?” Dualscar prompted, eyeing the Composers blade. “Just goin’ to run them
through?
“Something like that.” The Composer said, voice steely. He pulled his arm back
away from Dualscar before thrusting it forward into the flesh of the other’s
hip, below his armor. The Composer watched as his moirail crumpled to the
ground in front of him.
“Hey! Hey wait a second!” Mindfang tore away from Redglare in time to see the
Composer flash-step over to the Handmaid and the Summoner and Dualscar kneeling
on the ground. She leveled her Flurite Octet again.
“Can I roll now?” She asked Redglare who was sniffing the air.
“I guess so!” Redglare grinned, popping the hidden blade out of her cane.
“You guys ready to rumble?” The Composer asked the Summoner and Handmaid who
both nodded.
“Wwait, guys. It’s almost dawwn.” Dualscar—Eridan stood. “Some of us havve a
wways to go to get back to our hivves.”
Vriska pouted and pocketed her dice. “I guess you’re right. Sure you don’t want
to stay at my place? Spidermom won’t mind.”
Eridan looked a little uncomfortable as he made his way over to you. “Ah, no
thanks, Vvris. Davve and I wwill just go back to my hivve.” Seahorsedad
appeared off to the side of the clearing your group was in.
Vriska shrugged. “Okay then.” She moved toward where Spidermom was emerging
from the trees. Everyone in the clearing visibly shuddered at the appearance of
the gargantuan white arachnid.
“Oh, and by the way, Eridan, Dave,” Aradia said, stopping you and Eridan from
leaving just yet, ”Feferi’s having another get-together. She wanted me to let
you know.”
“When?” You asked, because Eridan couldn’t seem to make his jaw work.
“Two nights from now. It’s another ball.” Aradia waved as she walked toward the
forest. “She expects you both.” She said that to Eridan directly who turned a
pale purple.
“We’ll be there.” You turned and steered Eridan toward his lusus.
“Wwe wwill?”
“Yeah. We will.”
~~~~~
“So what’s up? Why don’t you want to go to Feferi’s ball-thing?” You asked,
striping out of your shirt and tossing it in the ever-growing pile of your
clothes in Eridan’s mini storage block. He had his back to you as he also
disrobed.
“Just… I don’t wwant to be anywwhere near her.” Eridan muttered, folding his
scarf and setting it on the shelf with the others he had.
“Don’t tell me you’re still sore about the game.” You turned to watch him as he
shimmied his pants off. He didn’t reply.
“Dude, really?” You stared at him as he climbed into the recooprecoon the two
of you shared fairly often. “She’s just a beached whale. Not worth your time
bro.”
Eridan pouted at you. “I pitied her!” He sighed, hiding his face below the rim
of the coon so his eyes, hair, and horns were all you could see.
“She didn’t pity you. So why are you still hung up on her?” You made your way
over to the coon to stare him down over the rim. “It’s not worth your time,
bro.”
Eridan looked down at the sopor-slime filled pod. “But…”
“No buts bro. Now move your skinny ass over so I can get in.” You climbed into
the recooprecoon with Eridan who turned to look at you once you’d settled.
“Do wwe reely havve to go?” He frowned at you, curled up against the side of
the coon.
“Yeah, Eridan. We do.” You sighed as you looked at him. He looked ready to cry.
You let silence pass between you for a few moments before speaking again.
“So, Dualscar, mermaid, king of pirates, ever gotten petty revenge?” You asked,
hoping to make him feel at least a little better. What kind of Moirail would
you be if you just let him suffer.
Eridan stared at you, puzzled for a moment. “…Does krillin’ people count?”
“No, dude, see, petty revenge is the really weird stuff people to get back at
people who pull shit that ain't cool.” You stared at the purple-tinted eyes in
front of yours.
“Like wwhat?”
“Well. How bout we streak through Feferi’s little ball?” You grinned at Eridan,
who stared for a moment.
“There’s just one problem wwith that, Davve.” Eridan said, slicking his bangs
back with sopor. “Wwhat’s streakin’?”
***** ....Baby One More Time *****
Chapter Summary
     Eridan and Dave streak through Feferi's palace.
     What more do you need to know?
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
You and Eridan had both politely excused yourselves from the ball, just before
dinner started. The two of you stood in the respite block Feferi had loaned you
for the weekend. It was the closest to the dining hall.
Eridan was trying to keep a straight face as the two of you tossed back a
couple of shots as an excuse to run around the palace naked. The troll liquors
were much stronger then human ones had been, and they all tasted like different
candies. The bottle Terezi had pilfered for you happened to be Orange
Creamsicle flavored. Leave it to Terezi to give you the orange-flavored booze.
“I can’t believve wwe’re goin’ ta do this.” Eridan muttered, taking another
shot. He grinned at you a bit.
“You’re not goin’ to cluckbeast out on me, are you?” You asked, loosening you
tie and setting it on the dresser.
“No. I’m goin’ ta do this. Mostly because it’s goin’ ta be funny.” Eridan
removed his own tie and set it beside yours. You noticed how his purple tie and
your red one managed to go together brilliantly. Kanaya would have been proud
of your color sense. Eridan continued speaking before you could dwell on the
colors more. “Are wwe comin’ back here?” He asked, unbuttoning his suit jacket.
“After? Yeah, may as well.” You put the cap back on the bottle of liquor and
stashed it behind the recooprecoon for later before unfastening your own
jacket. Eridan nodded, his face contemplative.
“I nevver evven thought about doin’ this kinda stuff until after I shot you out
a’ the sky.” He laughed, removing his glasses and setting them beside the
surface-illuminator. He rubbed his eyes for a moment before looking up at you
blearily. “You reely brin’ out the wworst in me.” Eridan swallowed and moved
toward the door, opening it slightly. He turned back to you as he shrugged out
of his jacket.
“I prefer to think I bring out the best in you. That’s a moirails job, right?”
You nodded to him as you walked out into the hall, jacket shed and working on
your shirt. Eridan didn’t comment, but instead took off running toward the
dining block, screaming and whooping his loudest. You ran after him a moment
later, following suit (or lack there of).
When the two of you burst into the dining block, all of the attending patrons
stopped eating to stare, because everyone needed a piece of Strider ass.
Everyone. All eyes were on the two of you as you ran up and down the rows of
trolls, shredding clothing in your wake. Your voice was becoming hoarse from
screaming, but you kept it up.
Eridan and you both stopped, as planned, at the High Table to dance and frolick
about your friends, taking particular time to dance around Feferi who had
turned pink from her gills to her fins. She gaped at the two of you, obviously
offended.
The only thing that caught you by surprise was when Jake stood up, shedding his
own clothes.
“That looks like jolly good fun!” He grinned. Things you didn’t need to know
about your brother’s matesprit? he went commando.
The only faces that remained passive in the dining block were yours and Dirk’s.
You owed him a fist bump.
All in all, you spent maybe three minutes in the room, embarrassing your host,
cavorting about without clothes on before returning to your temporary respite
block. And as you left the room, you could not resist pirouetting out the door.
Backwards. You heard Eridan cackle as he ran past you.
Once you and Eridan were safely in the room, you shut and locked the door
behind you, grinning at each other like fools.
“Oh my COD!” Eridan giggled, putting his glasses back on, and leaning against
the dresser. “Wwe wwill nevver be invvited to one a’ these parties again!” For
once in the couple of months you’d known him, you saw genuine happiness on
Eridan’s face as he beamed at you.
“Feferi’s goin’ to hate me forever.” You chimed in, retrieving the liquor and
pouring yourselves two shots. You really weren’t too upset that fact. Eridan
grabbed one of the glasses and held it up.
“A toast!” He nodded to you.
“A job well done.” You added. The two of you tossed the shots back and stood in
giddy, naked silence for a few moments. Eridan finally broke it, looking up
somberly at you, eyes wide and purple-yellow behind his glasses.
“Davve?”
“Yeah bro?”
“Thank you. I’vve nevver had the courage to do anyfin’ like that until you came
along.” He said, stepping toward you a bit. “An’ I’m glad to havve you as my
moirail.”
You gaped at him, speechless for a moment.
He bit his lip and tried to wave it off. “Nevvermind. I’m assumin’ thin’s
again. Let’s get some rest before tomorroww. Fef’s goin’ ta krill us.” He
climbed into the recooprecoon and laid against the support wall, his back to
you.
You sighed and capped the booze again before crawling in behind him and
snuggling up to his back.
“So what should we do tomorrow, my Pale bro?”
~~~~~
You knew you’d done something stupid the night before.
You woke up, your head pounding, your throat aching, and someone was pummeling
your door to a pulp.
“DAVE! ERIDAN! GET OUT HERE RIGHT NOW! I SWEAR TO COD I AM GOING TO KRILL YOU
TWO!” Feferi’s voice drifted through the wood, shrill and obviously pissed off.
Eridan groaned and rolled over, burying his head in your chest. “Make her go
awway!” He muttered, rubbing his temples. “It’s too fuckin’ early.”
You smirked at him, rolling your eyes toward the door as her screaming
continued. He smirked back, wincing slightly at every crash on the door.
“ERIDAN AMPORA, YOU ARE SO DEAD WHEN I GET A HOLD OF YOU! COME OUT HERE, NOW!”
“Think we should get up?” You asked, yawning slightly and pulling yourself out
of the recooprecoon.
“Only if wwe can answwer the door naked.”
“Deal.”
The two of you bumped your fists together in agreement and moved toward the
door, stretching. You reached it first, unlocking it to the fishy princess’
livid wailing (or was it whaling?).
“What’s up?” You asked nonchalantly, leaning against the door-jam. Eridan stood
casually beside you, his arms folded over his ribs to protect his gills.
“What’s UP? WHAT’S UP?!!” Feferi fumed, her eyes flashing. “You just
embarrassed me in front of half of Alternia!”
“Reely? I thought it wwas only your closest fronds.” Eridan shrugged, yawning
as well. He looked ready to drop. Clearly someone did not handle liquor well.
“Eridan, that was not funny!” Feferi glared at him. “And I know this was Dave’s
idea. It had to be. You’re not smart enough to have planned it yourself!”
Eridan stepped back as if she’d slapped him, shock on his face. He went silent,
paling a bit.
“Whoa there, princess, no need to get snippy. This was all my idea. Eridan just
wanted to help me out. Be a bro. Don’t go blamin’ him.” You said, stepping
between them, a frown on your face. You were wearing an expression. This would
not end well. “But even if it wasn’t his idea, he had reason to do it.”
“Oh, and what reason could there possibly be for you to humiliate me in front
of everyone I know like that?” Feferi asked, hands on her hips and lips in a
pout. She still managed to be beautiful, even when angry. You thought that was
a Striders-only quality.
You scoffed and stared at her for a moment before replying, “How bout leavin’
him high and dry after he confessed his love to you? Without a friend in the
universe?” You found yourself getting uncharacteristically barmy, shielding
Eridan with your own body. “You turned him down when all he wanted was you! He
even put his feelin’s aside for SWEEPS, just to keep you as his moirail! And
you want to know what gives him the right to prance around your palace naked as
the day he was hatched?” Shaking your head, you went to shut the door in her
face, pushing Eridan back toward the recooprecoon.
“Do us both a favor, Feferi. Never insult my moirail again. Or I might have to
hurt you.” You growled, hearing the lock snap in place on the door.
Eridan stared at you from across the block, gaping slightly. He looked a little
lost as you guided him back to the recooprecoon and helped him into the pod
before climbing in yourself and wrapping an arm around Eridan. His slience had
passed and now he was sobbing in your arms, clinging to you with all the force
he could muster.
For whatever reason, while you laid there with him, you couldn’t deny the
overwhelming feeling of wanting to protect him; to bundle him up and keep him
safe and sound and in your arms for the rest of your lives.
And something told you that wasn’t something covered in the Pale quadrant.
Chapter End Notes
     STREAKING.
     Because Heimdall and I were planning on doing this at one point.
     Maybe.
***** Buckets and Badguys *****
Chapter Summary
     There's no buckets involved. Unfortunately.
     But Dave and Eridan kiss!!!! (Finally)
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
FLARPing around Eridan’s hive with him became a normal thing for the two of
you. Eridan was teaching you the rules (or lackthereof) of the game and prep
you for the next session of group FLARPing.
There wasn’t much plot when you FLARPed with Eridan. It was always the same
storyline. The Composer (you) had done something to Orphaner Dualscar, his
Moirail. You had tried to think of a reason for your “betrayal”, but nothing
seemed to fit. Eventually, the two of you would give up and move on to the next
activity.
Today’s activity was sitting lazily on the couch, watching shitty Troll tele-
grub. You were watching Eridan’s favorite mini-series, Troll Sherlock. You had
no idea what the major difference between Troll Benedict Cumbermatch and the
regular human one. They were both hot. One just had horns. But Eridan carped on
about how they were nothing alike. Let him think of it that way.
It was about halfway through season 2 (during that demon-hound episode) that
the show was interrupted and the grub-vision began to play a newsreel.
“’Today in Yellow City there was a riot at the transportalizer station. We are
told that the protestors have been dispersed and the situation is under
control. That is all for this broadcast. Thank you.” The newscaster that day
was a short, darker-skinned troll with short, cone-shaped horns. He was not
attractive, therefore as soon as Benedict was back, you and Eridan forgot all
about the broadcast.
~~~~~
“Dualscar, you should just end him!” Mindfang grinned, pointing to the
Composer, who lay on his side, bound and gagged on the deck of Dualscar’s ship.
The Composer didn’t struggle or try to speak, instead just staring up at his
Moirail, face hidden behind his mask.
Dualscar himself was standing by the helm, his eyes downcast as his cape
floated in the wind, purple against the grey sky.
“I caught him for you!” Mindfang continued, poking the Composer with the toe of
her boot.
“He hasn’t stood trial.” Redglare said, her arms crossed over her chest. She
was grinning, like usual, as she spun a coin in the hand not occupied by her
cane. “Every troll deserves a trial, fair or not.”
“Preferably not.” Mindfang cackled and the two high-fived. Dualscar just
frowned sadly down at the Composer.
“Howw could you do that to me?” He asked, kneeling beside the other. “I gavve
you evverythin’ you havve, I gavve you a life you nevver wwould havve had.” The
two stared at each other silently as the women behind them giggled and jeered.
The Composer’s red eyes looked a bit sad as Dualscar stood once more, leveling
Ahab’s Crosshairs. The girls went silent, watching intently as the fear finally
gripped the Composer and he began to tremble, unnoticeable to anyone but his
Moirail.
“Should we let him beg for his life?” Mindfang asked, approaching them again.
She also knelt by the Composer, reaching over to untie his gag. “You can tell
Dualscar one more time just how much he meant to you.” She jumped back when the
Composer tried to bite her and growled down at him.
The Composer remained silent as he struggled up to his knees. He stared at
Dualscar, as if there was no one else there and said his line, the cue for the
others to come get him.
“Moirailigance is magic.”
Dualscar frowned and started to say something about magic not being real, but
it was too late.
The Summoner swung down from the crowsnest, his lance in hand. The Handmaid
appeared not long after, crawling on deck and snapping her whip at Mindfang.
“You messed with the uh… wrong guy this time, Mindfang!” The Summoner shouted,
pointing to her with his weapon. Mindfang growled and reached for her Flourite
Octect while the Handmaid moved to subdue Redglare.
The Composer, still on his knees, took the moment of surprise to launch himself
toward his sword, which lay by Dualscar’s feet.
“Fuck! Howw did they get on board?” Dualscar growled, unaware of what was going
on by his feet. The Composer managed to get his blade and was fervently trying
to cut himself free, glancing around from time to time. He noticed the Summoner
was doing a good job of keeping Mindfang from using her weapon, which was
better for everyone involved. And the Handmaid had successfully entangled
Redglare.
The only enemy left was Dualscar, who had just noticed what the Composer was up
to.
“Fuck!” Dualscar scowled, kicking the blade away from the troll on the ground
below him. “You’re not getting’ awway that easy, not after all the trouble I
wwent to catchin’ you.” He bent to pick up the sword himself, stowing it in the
scabbard nearby. Then he turned to the others, observing the situation and
possible solutions.
“Give me my sword, Dualscar.” The Composer said, working at the loose ropes
with his fingers now. Dualscar scoffed.
“Come get it.” He said, running toward the side of the ship, prepping to jump.
The world froze for a moment as the others aboard the ship realized what was
happening across the deck.
With a flourish of his cape, Dualscar was gone.
And the fighting continued.
Once the other half Team Charge had managed to trap and restrain Mindfang and
Redglare, they cut the Composer free.
“What should we do with them?” The Handmaid said, mocking Mindfang’s high-
pitched tone.
“Do what you want. I’m goin’ after Dualscar.” The Composer growled, heading for
the port side, casting your cloak off behind you.
“It’s just a sword, uh, Composer!” The Summoner called, trying to stop the
other male. “We can, uh, get you a new one.”
“Keep ‘em busy till I get back.” The Composer said, jumping over as well.
Dualscar wouldn’t be too far from his teammates, too far from his Moirail.
The Composer landed right where he knew he would. On the out-cropping for the
second deck that he and Dualscar had built themselves. The captain would
undoubtedly be in his quarters.
Cautiously, the Composer treaded through the halls of the abandoned ship, eyes
and ears open for any sound other then his own breathing.
The Composer froze in his tracks outside the captains quarters, listening
carefully. He, of course, knew Dualscar would be there with his trusted blade.
He just had to think of a way to retrieve it from the other man. Without having
to fight him.
The problem with Dualscar was that he ALWAYS wanted to fight.
The Composer eased the door open, almost silently and was met with a bright
flash of blue light.
Ahab’s Crosshairs on it’s lowest setting.
“Get the fuck back.” Dualscar’s voice growled, muffled by the distance between
the two trolls. “I knoww you’re there, traitor.” Despite the sticky situation,
both men grinned, knowing the game was afoot.
“I came for my property, Dualscar.” The Composer said, stepping into the open
door, leaving himself defenseless. “And you’re goin’ to give it back.”
“And wwhy wwould I do that?” Dualscar asked. He was perched against his desk,
holding the sword. He tried to settle his grin down to a frown, but it wasn’t
really working well. “I bought it for you. I should keep it anywway.” He
shrugged, examining the blade, turning it over and over in his hands.
“You gave it to me. It’s mine.” The Composer replied, moving toward Dualscar at
a slow pace.
Dualscar laughed a bit, setting Ahab’s Crosshairs down against the desk. “If I
gave it to you, then it’s legally mine.” He mused, setting the blade in his
lap. “Of course, if you want it, you’re free to come get it.”
The Composer didn’t really expect his moirail to attack him, so he started
edging toward the other man.
“You won’t hurt me, Dualscar.” Composer said, standing about a foot in front of
him. He held out his hand for the blade. “So give it back.”
Dualscar held the sword away teasingly. “Wwhat if I don’t wwant to?” He stared
up into the Composer’s masked face. “Wwhat if I wwant to keep it wwith me?”
The Composer rolled his eyes, stepping a bit closer. “Why would you want to do
that?” Their eyes were locked on each other, testing wills.
“You’ll keep comin’ back for it, a course.” Dualscar stood as well. He still
had to tilt his head up a bit to meet the Composer’s eyes.
“I need it now.” The masked troll insisted, wrapping his hands around the
scabbard beside Dualscar’s.
The two remained silent for a few moments, gazing into each others eyes,
neither daring to move.
They both began to laugh softly, breaking their composure.
“Just give me the sword, my moirail,” The Composer muttered softly. “And I
won’t have to hurt you.”
“No.”
The Composer sighed, using his extra two inches of height to impress upon the
other trolls personal space. Dualscar tried to stand tall, but eventually ended
up sitting down on the desk, cowering a bit.
“Give me my sword, Dualscar.” The Composer said, tightening his grip on the
scabbard.
Dualscar swallowed nervously. The Composer had never acted like this before.
Never gotten so… close. It both excited and scared Dualscar, even though he
knew the other troll would never hurt him. There was no black in their
relationship, only a pale pink.
Maybe a pale red.
Either way, he knew he wasn’t going to get hurt. But the Composer was sure
doing a good job of making Dualscar shiver.
From what, he didn’t know.
Dualscar closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to think of something
to say back to his moirail.
He didn’t even have a chance to speak. His breath was taken away before he
could exhale it.
It took Dualscar a second to realize what was happening.
The Composer was kissing him—No. Dave was kissing him.
~~~~~
You had no idea why you were doing it, but for whatever reason, you found
yourself having sloppy make-outs with your moirail in his office while you were
supposed to be LARPing.
And for whatever reason, you weren’t bothered by it.
All thoughts of your sword abandoned, you let go of the blade to wrap an arm
around Eridan’s waist and pull him closer to you. He was cool to the touch, and
even though his purple metal armor dug into your chest a bit weirdly, you
didn’t want to care. You were so hot all of a sudden, and he was so cold, and
you just wanted to wrap him up in your arms and never let him go.
He seemed to feel the same, his arms wrapped tightly around your neck, eyes
shut, reciprocating your kisses with his own.
You forgot about the world as you continued to kiss the troll in your arms.
That is, until the world (in the form of Vriska) barged into Eridan’s office
and scared the shit out of both of you.
Chapter End Notes
     Sorry this chapter took so long. I go through the WEIRDEST bouts of
     writers block, where all I can write is not-very-good porn.
     But here it is! Two months later!
     sorry.....
***** Detonation *****
Chapter Summary
     Enter dramatic plot here.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
“Wwhat the fuck, Vvris?!” Eridan tried to jump away from you, falling over his
desk and stumbling out of your grip. Eridan’s face had taken on that royal-
purple hue under his grey skin as he flushed with embarrassment.
“Yeah. What the hell, Vriska.” You turned to her, glaring from behind your
Composer’s mask. You slouched against Eridan’s desk, wishing Vriska would go
away and Eridan would be back where he was a minute before. In your arms, with
your mouth on his. That was the best place he could be. And she had to ruin it.
Vriska was grinning from ear to ear as she looked back and forth between the
two of you. She leaded in the doorjamb, blocking your exit. “Soooooooo… is
there something you want to tell me?” She crossed her arms a bit. “Or want me
to tell John?” She looked directly at you as she uttered your best-ex-friends
name, smirking like she knew a juicy secret.
“Yeah. Suck my troll dick, spider-bitch.” You snapped, picking up your katana
and marching toward her. You pushed her out of the way and started back toward
the deck, stomping all the way there.
“I swwear to COD, Vvris you are the biggest fuckin’ cock block on fuckin’
Alternia!” You heard Eridan shout as you rounded the corner and couldn’t
suppress a small smile.
Boner sufficiently killed, your face became blank again as you set foot on the
deck where the rest of your LARP party was waiting.
“Hey, Dave.” Aradia waved you over. Apparently your LARP session was ended for
today because everyone had stored their weapons and were hanging around the
main mast of the ship. Tavros and Terezi were talking about something
animatedly as you approached, Pupa Pan maybe?
“We’re done for today I think.” Aradia said, confirming your suspicions. She
cast a look at the rest of the group on the deck, relaxing her shoulders a bit.
“I have something to talk to you about. Could I possibly stay at your hive for
the day?”
You frowned for a moment, thinking. You really wanted to stay here at Eridan’s
(like you did most of the time anyway) to see what he’d say about your tongue-
tango earlier, but it was also a talk you were dreading. On the other hand,
what Aradia had to talk about couldn’t be good. She was the only other Time
manipulator in your session and it would obviously take a while, otherwise she
wouldn’t ask to stay with you.
But then Eridan and Vriska came up on the deck and you made a split second
decision.
“Sure. Just let me change first. You’ll need a ride, right?” You asked, nodding
to Aradia. She dipped her head back in agreement as you started toward the main
entrance to Eridan’s hive to change.
You came out a couple minutes later, dressed in your regular t-shirt and pants,
Crowdad following you silently.
Eridan frowned as you walked toward the group still standing by the mast.
“You’re goin’ home tonight, Davve?” Eridan watched you as you helped Aradia up
onto Crowdad’s back. He looked a little disappointed when you nodded.
“Someone needs to take Aradia home.” You replied, climbing up behind her.
Crowdad squawked at Eridan, butting his beak into the fish-trolls chest gently.
“So I’ll see you later.”
Eridan opened his mouth to say something, but you dug your heels into your
Lusus’ thighs, signaling him to take off.
You looked back to see the rest of your LARP team, very confused, waving at you
guys.
Somehow, you knew you were going to get hell about this later from Terezi and
Vriska.
You were halfway over the mountains back to your hive when Aradia spoke. “Have
you watched the news lately, Dave?” She almost had to yell, leaning back toward
you for you to hear her.
“Not really. Just the shit they auto-broadcast. Why?”
“There’s been a bunch of rebellions all over the different cities on Alternia.
Riots about the Blood Caste System.” Aradia said, her mouth set in a grim line.
“The Blood Caste System?” You frowned, staring at her. “That doesn’t make
sense. The System was removed.”
“Just because the System was removed doesn’t mean things have changed.” She
replied. It was the last thing either of you said before you touched down in
your lawnring.
You helped Aradia down from Crowdad’s back before heading inside. For once,
your hive was just as you’d left it. This was good, because as far as anyone
else knew, you still lived in your own hive, not Eridan’s.
“So what’s the big deal with these riots, Aradia? I don’t understand why you
want me to talk to you about this.” You made yourself busy by looking for
something to snack on, managing to find a packet of grubcandy.
Aradia drew a deep breath before sitting on your lounger as you started to gnaw
at the grubs. “Dave, Feferi asked me to remove the System from the timeline.”
You stared at her, at a loss for words. You shook your head to clear it a bit
before speaking again. “Is she stupid? Removing the System from the timeline…
It’d kill people. Karkat and Kankri would be un-needed. No one would survive if
we did that! The timeline would rip apart!” You felt anger welling up in you.
“It’s impossible! We’d all die before the System could even begin to be
forgotten!”
Aradia nodded, looking down at her hands. “She doesn’t believe me. She thought
I was lying when I told her that the timeline would shatter. And then… she
accused me of sympathizing. I don’t think she meant it, I think she was just
feeling helpless.” The female troll looked up at you, rust colored tears in her
eyes. “She’ll come to you next. And you’re going to tell her the same thing.
And I don’t think she’ll be as forgiving with you as she is with me. She’s
still really mad about you and Eridan running around the palace naked as the
day you were hatched.” A small smile crossed her face.
You grinned a bit and sat across from Aradia, running a hand through your hair.
You dropped the grubcandy on the nearby table, forgetting about how hungry you
were. “These riots… they’re only the beginning aren’t they? They’re will be
attacks next. That’s what Feferi’s scared of.”
Aradia nodded. “If the yellow bloods or the rust bloods or the Cavalreapers
decide to attack the blue or purple bloods, or the palace itself, Alternia
could turn into a warzone. More so then usual.”
You nodded, pushing your shades up to rub your eyes a bit. “What can we do?”
You stared at the girl across from you, noticing how tired she was. LARPing
while thinking about all this must have been hard for her.
“I don’t know, Dave.” She sobbed, letting tears trail down her cheeks freely.
“We’re going to have an all-out world-war, and theirs nothing we can do to stop
it.”
For the first time since you’d witnessed Bro’s death in Sburb, you felt like
everything was lost and there wasn’t a thing you could do to stop inevitable
doom and destruction.
~~~~~
After you set Aradia up in your guest room, you sat in the lounge block in your
favorite chair. You flipped on the Grubevision, flicking through the channels
until you found the world news reports. The reporter—the same one you and
Eridan had seen the other day was talking about a rebellion in Rust City,
larger then the one in Yellow City. Thirty-two trolls had been killed, ten more
injured. Your stomach churned as they showed you picture after picture of the
damaged city, the rust bloods fighting and blood spilling everywhere.
It was an all-out bloodbath, and it chilled you to the core in the same way
Lord English had.
The battle with English had been long and arduous, but it looked as though the
battle for Alternia would be even harder.
~~~~~
The next evening, after seeing Araida home, you were preparing to take off to
Eridan’s again when the Grubevision flashed another report.
Another riot, this time in Green City.
‘We’re going to hell in a hand-bucket.’ You thought, shutting the appliance off
and heading for the door, Crowdad in tow.
You couldn’t stop thinking about the impending war and how it was going to
affect your life, even as you made your way to Eridan’s hive.
When you arrived at his island, everything was quiet except for the ripple of
the ocean. You didn’t bother to knock as you entered the ship.
“Eridan? We need to talk.” You called out for him as you set your sweatshirt on
the back of the couch. You intended to tell him about the riots and the war and
Feferi’s request, but you didn’t have time.
As soon as Eridan’d seen you, he’d thrown his arms around you and was kissing
your breath away.
Talking could wait for later, you supposed.
Chapter End Notes
     This chapter's a bit short and not very.... good? I guess that's the
     only way to put it. This was trying to establish the plot for the
     rest of the story essentially.
     god this sucks.
     sorry.
     EDIT: it's a bit better now. Sex in the next chapter! spose i should
     change the rating.
***** Give Me All Your Love *****
Chapter Summary
     Sexy times.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
“Quadrant flipping is a common occurrence between the Flush and Pitch
quadrants.”
“Quadrant flipping in the Pale and Flush quadrants is a rare occasion.”
“One troll will often not reciprocate the other’s Flushed intentions.”
“In Pale to Flush flipping, trolls will often lose both quadrants.”
“A troll is lucky if they ever find their Moirail.”
“Most trolls will not admit Flush feelings for their Pale quadrant for fear of
losing the relationship.”
The truth of it was, you’d started to research quadrant flipping after your
streaking debacle at the palace. Your suspicions had been confirmed—Quadrant
flipping with Eridan was not a good idea.
Fact after fact sped through your think pan as you laid with Eridan on the
couch, his skinny hips against yours.
It wasn’t like you didn’t enjoy kissing Eridan (even if he wasn’t very good at
it). What he lacked in skill, he made up for in fervor, and it was kind of
adorable.
But you did have some important things to talk to him about and they were hard
to concentrate on when he was on top of you.
Him being on top of you just gave you a whole other set of things to focus on.
Like what the fuck was going on in your pants.
You guessed you were turned on.
It felt like you were turned on. It was almost like when you were a human.
Every nerve ending in your body was on fire, your brain was shutting down, your
knees were weak, and you were feeling that coil of pleasure in your lower
digestive sack.
The thing that worried you was that something between your legs was moving on
its own.
And that was just weird.
Erida leaned back so you could breathe for a second, looking at you worriedly.
“Davve? You okay?” He asked, running a hand over your cheek. “You’re reel
tense…”
You swallowed a bit nervously, staring at the troll above you. Eridan’s face
was flushed that pretty violet-gray, his yellow eyes were half-lidded with
lust, and his lips were swollen. It was probably the hottest sight you’d ever
seen.
But it took second place to the writhing in your jeans.
“Eridan.” You bit your lip, tensing your jaw a bit. “Dude, bro, why is my love
sausage acting like a mythical asp?”
Eridan frowned at you for a second, confused, then what you said clicked into
place and he began to laugh softly.
It was your turn to frown at him. “What’s so funny?”
“Nothin’. I just forgot you wweren’t hatched this wway.” He sat up on your
hips, sending a shiver through your body. He slowly stripped off his shirt,
casting it aside. His hands hooked into the loops of his pants, but you caught
him before he could unbuttoned them.
“Whoa, bro. I’m confused. What’s goin’ on here?” You tried not to let your fear
get the better of you. Whatever was going on here was weird, and no matter how
cool you were, you were scared.
“Anatomy lesson.” Eridan replied simply, pushing your hands away. “You need to
knoww, or thin’s could get awwkwward.” He unbuttoned and unzipped his pants
with a little difficulty, obviously trying not hurt whatever was hidden in his
underwear.
Your eyes were glued to his crotch as he slid what you guessed was his bulge
out of the offending articles of clothing.
There were two things you noticed right away.
One; it was violet, matching his blood color.
Two; it was a tentacle.
A. Mother. Fucking. Tentacle.
You must have been making a face because Eridan was laughing at you again, eyes
sparkling.
“Meowbeast got your tongue?” He asked, stroking the thing sticking out of his
pants. “Humans must be reel different, cause you’re starin’.”
You stumbled around your brain for a minute, trying to think of something to
say to your moirail/matesprit/whatever.
All you could come up with was a brilliant “Uh…?”
Eridan leaned down to squint at you, concern on his face. Where had his glasses
gone? “Davve? Are you alright?”
“Just…weird.” You managed, reaching up to remove your shades for a better view.
He smirked and sat back again. “Look, it puts the ‘slither’ in Slytherin.
That’s all you need to knoww at this time. Can wwe get back to that harpoonin’
business now?”
“Did you just use a Harry Potter joke to get me to bone you?” You smirked at
Eridan as you helped him stand and remove his pants. “So… Do I have one of
those things in my pants too?”
Eridan smiled, reaching down to help you unbutton your own pants. “Sea for
yourself.” He muttered, kissing your collar bone before leaning his head
against your shoulder as he worked your jeans down.
Sure enough, once your underwear had joined your pants on the floor, you
noticed a tentacle of your own between your legs.
Yours was dark red, matching your blood color. It was also slimy. Not overly
so, but enough that your hand glided over it easily. You found that, while it
liked to move around on it’s own, you could control it if you thought about it
hard enough.
It was also very sensitve, particularly at the very tip, where it was a bit
flat with a slight point to it.
Deciding that you’d had enough with exploring your own body, you glanced at
Eridan who was watching you calmly.
“What now?” You asked, stepping toward him.
He grinned.
“Sit.” He motioned toward the couch and you did as he said, perching yourself
on the edge of the couch, staring at him all the while. Eridan came over and
straddled your lap, sitting on your thighs and wrapping his arms around your
neck.
Then he was kissing you again and your forgot about any nervousness you might
have had before, because Eridan was here, in your arms, kissing you, and that
was where he belonged.
You held him close as you continued to kiss him, cherishing the feeling of skin
on skin.
When your bulge touched his, you hissed, squinting your eyes at Eridan through
a haze of pleasure. He stared back at you, eyes half-lidded and lusty, biting
his lip as he moved his hips flush against yours. Taking that as encouragement,
your bulges wrapped around each other, slipping and sliding together as Eridan
ground his hips into yours.
The two of you found a steady rhythm and you’d be damned if it wasn’t the
sickest beat you’d ever laid down. Especially when it was combined with
Eridan’s panting and mewling.
Sweet. Fucking. Music.
Your pace picked up as you and Eridan kissed again and the coil of pleasure in
your digestive sack wound even tighter.
It continued to tighter the faster you and Eridan ground your hips together.
You were approaching the finish line fast now that the bass had dropped, and
hot damn did it feel good.
Then your vision whited out as wave after wave of pleasure wracked your body.
You heard yourself moan, joining Eridan’s chorus of noises.
You slumped back against the couch, panting softly.
“Holy fuck.” You muttered after you’d caught your breath. Eridan chuckled
against your neck.
“Yeah, pretty much.” He murmured, nuzzling you. He breathed in deeply a few
times before speaking again. “And that wwasn’t evven matin’.” He leaned back to
grin at you.
Despite your usual cool façade, you grinned back, kissing his forehead gently.
You chanced a glance down between your bodies and you were surprised by the
amount of red and purple fluid on your stomachs.
Eridan sat back and picked up a shirt, off the floor and was wiping the fluids
away. You noticed a few seconds too late that it was your shirt he was using.
“That’s less than I expected, considerin’ how much Vantas harps about the
bucket stuff.” You commented, running your hands over Eridan’s thighs. He
nodded, dropping your shirt back to the floor and snuggling against you again.
“There’s not as much wwhen you’re frottin’ as wwhen you’re actually matin’,” He
explained, eyes shut, purring contently under your chin. “Wwhen matin’ for
reel, you’d penetrate the nook wwith a bulge and it wwould cause a chemical
change in your hormones, causin’ you to release enough genetic material to fill
a bucket.” He yawned softly as he finished talking, glancing up at you.
“Make sense.” You muttered, switching your grip on him to lay down on the
couch. “You really are a scientist, aren’t you?”
Eridan smirked a bit and sat up on your hips again, leaning down to kiss you on
the cheek before getting up. “Historian, reely. I reed a lot.”
You rolled your eyes at him half-heartedly, noting that your bulge had tucked
itself away sometime in the past ten minutes.
Silence engulfed you for a few moments as Eridan busied himself with cleaning
up the mess left in your horny frenzy.
“Strider.” Eridan said, tossing his underwear on to your face. “Make me
somefin’ ta eat.”
“Let me show you my boning knife Ampora.” You muttered, giving him a one finger
salute.
“You just did.” Eridan grinned, walking toward the back of the hive. “Noww get
up and cook.”
~~~~~
Almost an hour later, you and Eridan were sitting on the couch in front of the
GV, watching the news and enjoying a decent meal of what you had dubbed “Troll
Pizza”. Which was really just bread spread with grub sauce and topped with
Lusus meat of all kinds and cheese.
Apparently trolls didn’t have real pizza, which was bizarre.
Eridan had managed to nestle himself into your side and was smiling as he ate
your concoction.
You finished your own dinner and sat silently for a few moments, just watching
him, trying to decide how to bring up what you needed to talk to him about.
You swallowed your pride and took a deep breath, intending just to start
talking.
“Davve…?” As usual, Eridan beat you to the punch, speaking before you did.
“Wwhy did you go home wwith Ar yesterday? Rezi could’vve taken her home.” He
nibbled at the rest of his food before setting it down to look at you. He
looked almost jealous.
You sighed a bit, rubbing your temples. “She needed to talk to me about Time
shit. Apparently, Feferi asked her to remove the Bloodcaste System from our
timeline.” You shook your head at the thought. “She’s a glubbin’ idiot if she
thinks that will solve all of Alternia’s problems.”
Eridan grinned at your use of his favorite word, but pressed on. “Wwhat does
Fef’s request to Ar havve to do wwith you?”
“Aradia refused her. Now, in theory, she’s goin’ to come to me, the other time
manipulator.” You shrugged. “And word on the street is that she won’t be as
kind to me if I refuse.”
Eridan frowned, drawing his eyebrows together. “So, Ar wwas wwarnin’ you aboat
Fef and her intentions.” He nodded a bit. “But removvin’ the System… wwouldn’t
that krill evveryone?”
“That’s what Aradia told our fishy princess. But Feferi refused to believe it.”
You muttered as you shook your head. “So I’m probably going to have to spend a
few days at my own hive.”
Eridan looked a little disappointed, but nodded in agreement. “You’ll stay here
tonight, though?”
“Sure, babe.” You smirked, wrapping an arm around the purpleblood, sitting back
against the couch with him.
You relaxed alongside Eridan for the rest of the night, the worry you’d had
before forgotten entirely.
Chapter End Notes
     So, as short and porn-filled as this chapter is, it's probably my
     favorite chapter I've written so far. Heimdall made some GREAT lines
     for this one, including a couple of Eridan's lines, which are usually
     my territory.
     I'm thinking of making a Tumblr for Swag. Anyone approve?
     EDIT: TUMBLR MADE! Find us here: http://swwagmebabe.tumblr.com/
     <3
***** Shapes in Shadows *****
Chapter Summary
     Dave and Feferi meet for the first time since Dave and Eridan had run
     around her palace naked.
     And she's not alone.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
You arrived at your hive the next night feeling a little empty. You hadn’t
spent more then a couple days away from Eridan for nearly three perigees. You
were a bit nervous, worried Eridan might not take care of himself in your
absence. But eventually you had convinced yourself that if Eridan didn’t,
Seahorsedad would.
Still, you were concerned. Maybe it was your flushed pale feelings for him.
The first four days you spent in your hive, you could hardly sleep, choosing
instead to play your videogames and message Eridan, who couldn’t sleep either,
it seemed. It was calming to know you weren’t the only one uncomfortable.
The fifth day, you passed out, you troll body deciding it had had enough of
your restlessness.
You woke up on the sixth night, feeling refreshed, hungry, and lonely.
You were in the middle of dinner when the knock at your door finally came,
followed by a loud: “Dave.”
Karkat was with Feferi apparently.
Crowdad for the door for you while you stood and rearranged your rumpled
clothes.
Karkat entered first, angry as usual. He didn’t say anything, just nodded to
you curtly.
Feferi followed him, a cloak drawn up to hide her face. Of course she didn’t
want to be recognized going in to your hive. Then people would assume you were
someone important and begin to ask questions.
What surprised you about the whole entrance was John walking in behind Feferi,
nervously chewing on his lip.
Once the door was shut, Feferi removed the cloak and sat down on your couch,
not waiting for an invitation.
“I assume you’ve talked to Aradia?” Feferi asked, her usual bubbly voice was a
bit more flat. You really must have pissed her off with the streaking thing.
You decided to ignore it, motioning to Karkat to let him know he could sit,
too. You didn’t even look at John as you slouched into your lounge chair.
Karkat remained standing, but John took the seat next to Feferi.
“Yeah, I talked to her.” You said, answering her question after thinking about
how you wanted to say your words. You opted for the same flat tone as the
princess. “We FLARP together all the time, so I see her pretty regularly.”
Karkat and John both snorted with laughter and you took a second to roll your
eyes behind you shades. Even Feferi couldn’t help a bubble of laughter.
“So you know why I’m here?” She asked, desperately trying not to smile with her
mirth.
You nodded, leaning forward to rest your elbows on your knees.
“You came here expectin’ a different answer from the one Aradia gave you. And
you’re goin’ to have to be disappointed. Because I will not—no—cannot do what
you’re asking. It’d mean the death of everyone, the destruction of Alternia.”
You said evenly. Feferi frowned again.
“Dave, you can’t be searious.” The princess looked scared as you finished
talking. “There’s no way that would happen.”
“The thing with time travel is you can’t overthink it. You can’t have a ‘plan’
or a goal in mind. You have to just roll with it and see what happens. But
above all else, you have to try not to do anything retarded.” You rubbed your
temples a bit, feeling a headache coming on. “And removing the System? That’s
not just retarded. That’s ludicrous. And I’m not talkin’ about the shitty human
rap artist.”
“I don’t get how that works!” Feferi’s fins flared and she stood up to glower
down at you. “You’re telling me nothing can be changed!”
“Some things can’t be changed, Feferi! This is one of them!” You stood up as
well, rising to her challenge. “I’m serious! If you attempt this, you’ll
destroy everything you’re trying to preserve! Don’t be stupid! Your element is
Life, not Time! You would be destroying life! Don’t you get it?!” You felt your
anger rising as the fish princess continued to glare up at you, growling.
“He’s right, Feferi.” Karkat chimed in, pulling you back a few steps. “You
don’t know anything about time. What if Megido and Fuckass here are right and
you destroy the planet trying to save it?”
Feferi’s chest puffed up and she looked ready to spit, but you could see the
hopelessness in her eyes.
“So there’s nothing we can do? We have to sea-t here and watch the planet get
suckerfished away?” She bit out, looking close to tears.
“We defeated Lord English!” John said, smiling at her Imperial Condesce. “We
can stop these uprisings! We just need to work together!”
It suddenly clicked in your brain as to why Karkat and John were with Feferi.
They were the friend-leaders. The original masterminds in Sburb and Sgrub. They
were planning a war.
“I’ll do anything else you ask of me, Feferi. I’ll take every fuckin’ wriggler
off this planet and babysit them if that’s what you want.” You muttered,
sitting down again. “But I can’t remove the System. Alternia would crumble.”
Feferi pursed her lips and you could tell she had more to say, but Karkat shook
his head at her and she let the words disappear.
“Then we’re going to need to have a meeting.” She muttered, glancing back at
John. “Send out the message, would you? Two days from now?” John nodded and
pulled out his phone, typing away at it.
Feferi turned back from John to look at Karkat, then finally, you. “We’re going
to have a civil war.”
~~~~~
After seeing the little group off, you finished your dinner and cast a glance
out the window. You cursed Feferi silently for coming so late in the night.
You wouldn’t have time to make it back to Eridan’s hive that night.
Instead, you grudgingly drug yourself upstairs to your recooprecoon and got in,
keeping your shades with you so you could message Eridan.
--turntechGodhead [TG] began trolling caligusAquarium [CA] at 3:02 am--
TG: hey bro
TG: not gonna make it back tonight
CA: i figured
CA: is it true
CA: are wwe goin’ to wwar
TG: looks like it
CA: wwell
CA: howw did it go
CA: the meetin’ wwith fef i mean
TG: shes scared
TG: not that i can blame her
TG: shes also more stubborn then you
CA: yeah
CA: wwell she wwas my moirail for a wwhile
CA: she had to be stubborn to put up wwith me
TG: good point
CA: thanks for the vvote of confindence davve
TG: youre welcome babe
TG: im here all week
CA: youre comin’ back tomorroww though
CA: right
TG: yeah
TG: ill even get up early
TG: I promise
CA: okay
CA: wwell
CA: sea you wwhen you get here
TG: okay
TG: later bro
CA: bye
--caligusAquarium [CA] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG] at 3:34 am--
--caligusAquarium [CA] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] at 3:34 am--
TG: back so soon
CA: i forgot somefin
TG: what
CA: <3
--caligusAquarium [CA] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG] at 3:35 am--
You blinked at your shade’s readout before smiling. Your blood pusher jumped a
bit as you sent back the same emoticon before shutting down your Trollian and
setting your glasses on your dresser.
You slept peacefully through the night for the first time since you’d been back
to your hive.
~~~~~
The next night was uneventful as you began to pack up to leave to Eridan’s. Of
course, it was still only six pm, and daylight outside, so you couldn’t leave
right away, but you were still happy to be getting all of your stuff together
in preparation.
It was about six-thirty when you sat down in front of the GV to play a game
before you left in another hour or so. Eridan had already messaged you about
your arrival time and was waiting with bated breath, you assumed, for your
return.
So you lost yourself in a few levels of Mad Snacks Yo, trying not to get your
stupid skateboarding troll stuck on any half-pipes.
You’d just pulled off a wicked nose grind when someone covered your mouth and
nose with a towel that smelled oddly like chloroform.
And then everything went black.
Chapter End Notes
     This chapters a little bit shorter then some of the others, but I
     believe as far as content goes, the plot will be moving forward. No
     more sloppy couch frotting. (at least not for a while.)
     http://swwagmebabe.tumblr.com
     CHECK OUT OUR TUMBLR! UPDATES ON THE STORY ALMOST DAILY! ASK US
     QUESTIONS! LEAVE US FANART ANYTHING IS POSSIBLEEEEEE!!!!!
***** Of Rage and Cadence *****
Chapter Summary
     "My name is Dave Strider and I am the speaker of the Uprising. I am
     informing you, Feferi Pexies, your Imperial Condesce, that resisting
     us is futile. You will not be able to stop us and if you try to, we
     will continue to use force until you have been removed from the
     throne."
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Your name is Eridan Ampora and you’re worried.
Your moirail/matesprit/whatever Dave Strider was supposed to be at your hive
almost ten hours ago. You’d spoken to him earlier this evening. He’d said he
was coming. But it was almost dawn and you were beginning to lose hope that
he’d make it over by the end of the night.
You’d sent him message after message after message, all with no reply. His
Trollian said he was offline.
Two days later, Dave still hadn’t so much as contacted you. No message,
nothing. And he wasn’t at Feferi’s palace when you got there either, even
though you were one of the last to arrive.
Apparently you weren’t the only one it worried, because Karkat was in your face
before you could get in the double-doors.
“Ampora! Where the fuck is your good-for-nothing sordid excuse for a Moirail?!”
He screeched, grabbing your shoulders and giving you a little shake. “He was
supposed to be here hours ago!"
Karkat tried to look angry, but it was hardly convincing. His aura of
nervousness and anxiety was palpable.
“Karkat, perhaps you should release the poor troll. He seems to not have the
slightest clue as to what you’re talking about and appears to be in a form of
discomfort with your line of discussion.” A familiar looking troll in a bright
red sweater grabbed Karkat’s arm gently. Karkat snarled, completely ignored
him, and tightened his grip on you enough to hurt.
“I honestly don’t knoww wwhere he is Kar!” You defended yourself, holding your
arms up in a somewhat futile effort to keep Karkat from stepping closer to you.
“I havven’t sea-n him in ovver a wweek! He wwas supposed to be at my hivve twwo
days ago!”
Karkat growled and released you, turning to the red-sweatered troll. “We’re
fucked! Happy?” He snapped, pushing past him to go back to the other, much
larger, group of trolls to yell at them.
“Language, Karkat!” The other troll sighed and shook his head before turning
back to you. “He didn’t hurt you did he? Apparently, Karkat and John have been
trying to find this—Dave for a few nights now. He’s a Time manipulator from
your session, correct? I can see how that might present a problem—”
You let the other troll continue talking as you scanned the room, taking in all
the other trolls you hadn’t seen before. The one currently talking your
auditory fins off was practically Karkat’s twin.
“Not to be rude,” You turned back to him, frowning. “But wwho the fuck are
you?”
“Language, Mr. Ampora.” He chided and shook his head at you. Pretentious,
overly-wordy douche. “And my name is Kankri Vantas. I suppose I should have
introduced myself earlier, all things considered, but I could not stop Karkat
from yelling at you for a moment to get a word in edgewise. That seems to be
the case when Karkat is around me, he either talks so much that I can’t or, he
doesn’t speak at all. I can’t imagine why he’s so intimidated by me that he
feels the need to act the way he does—”
You could feel a headache setting in and you winced as he continued to speak.
You decided your best option was to just walk away before he finished, instead
seeking out Feferi. There weren't many ways this could end well, but at least
you might have a chance at progress. Elsewhere. Away from the constant speech.
You found her surrounded by a few other trolls, two of which you recognized.
John and Karkat were standing on either side of the fish princess like personal
bodyguards; Karkat on the right, John on the left. They were listening
vigilantly while she spoke to two other female trolls, one of whom was wearing
a plain black shirt with no marking on it and the other who was wearing a
cerulean dress.
“So you have a plan, I assume?” The girl in blue asked, and you noticed her
fingers laced with the other girls.
“Yeah, beach, what’s the plan? Whale on them until they stop squiddle-ing?
Krill them off one-by-one?” The other chimed in, grinning menacingly.
“Whale, no! I wouldn’t want to krill them, Meenah!” Feferi said, looking
astonished. “Why would you even say such a thing?”
“Hey, fuckass, you can come over here.” Karkat said to you, loud enough that
all eyes turned to you.
“Oh Eridan! Just the bouy I was looking for! Where’s Dave?” Feferi asked,
grinning a bit. You could tell her heart wasn’t in it though.
“He’s not... he's not here.” You manage to choke out before you suddenly broke
down in to tears.
~~~~~
When you finally calmed down, you were sitting in the throne room with Feferi,
Karkat, and John. Karkat was rubbing your back gently as the last of your sobs
faded.
You weren’t sure when exactly you’d been moved to the throne room, but it was
definitely more peaceful in here.
“Hey, dumbass, can you talk yet?” Karkat asked, no real venom in his words. “We
need to talk about Dave.”
“Shh, Karkat! Don’t make him cry again!” John whispered as if you couldn’t hear
him.
“Shut up! I’m just being honest!” Karkat mock-whispered back, glaring.
“Eridan doesn’t have to tlak aboat it if he can’t yet.” Feferi said softly,
kneeling a bit in front of you. Despite her usual friendly demeanor, her
empathy was surprising. “Just take some deep breaths.”
“Stop treating him like a wriggler, Feferi! If we wanted that we could’ve just
brought breasts—I mean Porrim! We could’ve just brought Porrim in here to treat
him like a fucking wriggler!”
“I’m just trying to be nice!” Feferi snapped back, puffing her cheeks at the
other troll. It was so cute, such a normal reaction, that you started to laugh
before you could stop yourself.
“Of fuck! Look what you did! He’s sniveling harder now!”
“Relax, Karkat, I think he’s laughing!” John grinned, bending over to look you
in the eyes.
You managed to smile up at them through the tears that had stained your cheeks.
Karkat rolled his eyes and stopped patting your back, choosing to stand up
straight instead.
Feferi smiled at you as well, though it still failed to reach her eyes.
“So, Eridan…” John stepped a little closer to you, biting his lip a bit. “Have
you seen Dave?”
You didn’t try to speak; instead you just shook your head.
Karkat swore under his breath.
“Have you talked to him at all?” John continued, ignoring Karkat.
“Not for a couple days. He wwas supposed to come to my hivve, but he nevver
showwed up.”
Karkat swore again, louder this time, and Feferi and John both glared at him.
“Do you have any idea where he’d bouy?” Feferi asked, her eyes pleading you for
an answer.
You shook your head again, and felt the color drain from your face as the other
three exchanged glances.
“I told you we should have summoned him here instead of going to his hive!”
Karkat hissed, rubbing his forehead angrily. “Now he’s gone missing! What if
they captured him?!”
“Karkat!” John grabbed the other trolls arm and nodded to you.
Karkat drew in a deep breath to tell John off, but the door banged open,
startling all four of you in to silence.
“FF! You have to thee thith!” Sollux shouted, holding the door open.
The grubevision was playing loudly in the next room and a troll was on the
screen, speaking slowly.
A troll who’s face was usually hidden behind his sunglasses.
“My name is Dave Strider and I am the speaker of the Uprising. I am informing
you, Feferi Pexies, your Imperial Condesce, that resisting us is futile. You
will not be able to stop us and if you try to, we will continue to use force
until you have been removed from the throne.
We are a stronger army then you will ever be able to face. Your tactics are
useless. Your armies are useless. Your assassins are useless. But we can
reasonable.
We only ask for one thing. That all the laws regarding Hemo-discrimination be
removed from every city indefinitely, and that you step down from the throne.
Refusal to comply to our terms will result in the destruction of every major
Alternian metropolis, starting with Rust City.
To all of our sympathizers, please hear these words. If you wish to join the
Uprising, you will be able to find us. If you do not wish to join us, stay out
of our way. Death awaits all others.”
~~~~~Dave’s POV~~~~~
You’d been sitting alone in a cell for almost three hours when they dragged you
out, kicking and screaming.
Your hands were bound behind your back and they’d set you in a chair in front
of a camera. Some troll girl had fixed your hair and cleaned your face up,
while two others pressed guns to either of your temples.
And then He had entered the room, and everyone went silent in his wake.
“Hello Mr. Strider.” He stood in front of you, hands in his pockets, a smug
grin on his face. “Welcome to the Uprising.”
You knew better then to respond, choosing instead to glower at him.
“Work nicely for us, Mr. Strider, and I promise you no harm will come to you.”
The imposing troll had gone on, ignoring your look. He examined his nails
casually.
“Fuck you.” You mumbled back at him, staring at the floor. “I’d rather die.”
Not the wisest choice of words, but your point was made.
“You’re going to work for me, Mr. Strider, whether you like it or not.” He
grabbed your chin and forced you to look him in the eyes. “You’re going to do
as I say, or else.”
“Or else what?”
As if he’d waited for the line, he stood up and waved toward the door. It had
opened just enough to show you a troll bound and gagged, violet eyes wide with
terror. “Or else Mr. Ampora is going to suffer.”
“Eridan!” You shouted, and struggled with the bonds that held you in the chair.
Those scum sucking grub fuckers. How dare they touch your moirail!
“Do as I say and he’ll survive.” You bowed your head in compliance to his
words. “Good, now, when that camera turns on, I want you to read your lines,
word for word, no mistakes. Understood?”
“Yes.” You spat at him, glaring angrily. You had to hold yourself back from
calling him a coward for having some random kidnapped troll deliver his
manifesto instead of having the stones to do it himself. Honesty was never the
best policy in a hostage situation.
“Good. If this works out, I might even let you see him.” He patted you on the
head condescendingly and moved for the door.
“I’m Veliza Markor, by the way. Remember the name well. You'll be hearing a lot
more of it.”
Chapter End Notes
     Wow this one took a long time to edit!
     C:
     Come follow us on Tumblr: http://swwagmebabe.tumblr.com
***** Can't Read My Pokerface *****
Chapter Summary
     If you ever saw Dave Strider again, you were going to kill him.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
~~~~~Eridan’s POV~~~~~
 
You couldn’t believe your eyes.
There was Dave. Your Dave, claiming to be the spokesperson of the Uprising?
Your Matesprit?!
Anger flashed behind your eyes, blinding you momentarily and your whole body
tensed up. You opened your mouth to say something—yell, scream, curse, what-
have you—but a hand clapped over your mouth before you could so much as squeak.
You tried to shake the hand off, but it came back, Psiioniic energy assisting
it this time, sending a shock through your entire body. It felt like thousands
of pins and needles, stabbing you in every nerve ending—and that was only half-
power.
“ED, thtop!” Sollux hissed in your ear and you flinched away from that horrid
lisp of his. “Lithten!” He kept his hand over your mouth while his Psiioniic
energy bound your hands behind your back.
So you stopped. You listened. And you’d be damned if it wasn’t the most painful
thing you’d ever forced yourself to do.
Lie after lie poured out of Dave’s mouth, like a never-ending stream.
It made you sick to your stomach and you heart ached to hear his voice—he
seemed so far away from you now.
He’d lied to your friends. He’d lied to John and Karkat and Feferi. And most
shockingly of all, he’d lied to you.
You thought about the time you’d spent with him, hardly a week ago, now.
It disgusted you to your very core, thinking back on what you did, what you’d
wanted to do.
There was no way in hell that it was ever going to happen again, you decided.
Because if you ever saw Dave Strider again, you were going to kill him.
~~~~~
Sollux dragged you to your room in the palace once the speech was over, his
Psiioniics still tight around your wrists, despite the fact you’d long since
abandoned fighting. You’d channeled your anger to stew in silence.
Once the door was shut behind the two of you, Sollux released you, bringing his
arms up to defend himself, in case you decided to strike him.
“I had to do that, ED, you underthtand that right?” Sollux eyed you cautiously.
“We needed to hear hith thtupid thpeech.”
“Fuck off, Sol. I’m not in the mood to hit you.” You replied flatly, planting
yourself in the nearby chair.
Sollux frowned at you, but lowered his arms. “I think I’d rather have you hit
me then have you thit there and mope.” He muttered, stepping toward you. “ED,
are you okay?”
“Oh, just fuckin’ wwonderful, grubfuck. Thanks for askin’.” You bit out,
rolling your eyes at him. “Howw wwould you feel if that had been your matesprit
on the GVV, tellin’ you a bunch a lies?”
Sollux sighed a bit, but sat down on the dresser. He patted the spot beside
him. “Alright, quadrantth athide. Come talk to me.”
“Fuck you. I am not feelin’s jammin’ wwith you a all trolls.” You used Karkat’s
favorite hand gesture to punctuate this.
Telling Sollux ‘no’ seemed to never be a good idea for you, because the next
second, you were lifted by his Psiioniics and forced to sit beside him. He
wrapped an arm around you before you could scramble away and ignored your
squawks of protest as well.
“Thpill.”
“You mangle the Alternian language, nookwwhiff.”
“Thtop pitch flirting. Talk to me, bulgemunch.”
You glared at the skinny troll next to you, and opened your mouth to give him
what-for, but caught the look in his eyes and decided against the idea.
“Wwhere do I start?” You asked instead of insulting his lusus. You let yourself
relax, if only for a moment. Sollux was right. There were no quadrants shared
between the two of you. At least not yet anyway.
“The beginning.” Sollux replied casually, and pulled you back to lean against
the wall with him. Regardless of yourself, you enjoyed the closeness of the
encounter.
You contemplated his statement for a moment. What was the beginning? How did
you start this conversation? With a perspective black quadrant, no less.
“Davve… Isn’t just my moirail.” You admitted, looking anywhere but Sollux’s
face.
“I gathered that. You kind of thouted it at me. How come you guyth didn’t tell
uth you were Red?”
“Wwe nevver confirmed it.” You bit the inside of your cheek. “I wwas wwaitin’
for him to get back to my hivve…” Sollux nodded, urging you on. You took a deep
breath to calm yourself before continuing. You were not going to cry again.
“But he nevver made it to my hivve and I thought he wwas rejectin’ me.”
“You never thought he wath an Uprither?” He prompted, forcing you to look him
in the eyes. It suddenly connected in your brain—he was here to fish around in
your mind, to make sure YOU weren’t an Upriser, either.
“No. I didn’t.” You sighed at him. “Wwe nevver paid attention to the rebels
acts or anyfin. Wwe played vvideogames and wwatched movvies. Wwe didn’t devise
a plan to destroy Alternia.”
“You weren’t involved?”
“I’m genocidal, not suicidal.” You snorted at him. Then, for good measure,
added, “Lowwblood.”
That brought a small smirk to Sollux’s face. “Okay, tho, you didn’t know Dave
wath an Uprither? For real?”
“No. I nevver though it for a second. Wwill you stop askin’ that?”
The yellowblood nodded and sighed. “Okay, ED. Pale moment over. You can go back
to hating my gutth now.” He released you as he slid off the dresser. He
stretched for a few seconds before glancing at you again. “Are you thtill with
uth? To fight?”
You clenched your fists and nodded in determination. “Wwe’ll need a navval
commander, right? It’s not like anyone else can do it.”
Sollux laughed. “Actually, ED—“
A rather loud knock on the door interrupted him.
“Tholluth! It’th me!”
Déjà vu smacked you across the face when Sollux opened the door to his mirror-
image.
“MT? What’th wrong?” Sollux frowned, grabbing the other by the shoulders of his
(rather garish) jumpsuit.
“DEth ithn’t here!”
~~~~~Dave’s POV~~~~~
You were in the dark (literally, not figuratively) for another hour at least
before they dragged you out of your prison cell once more.
This time they led you down a different hall then before. This one was well-lit
and made your eyes burn, forcing you to keep your head down as you walked. You
were shoved into a room near the end of the hall, into the arms of more waiting
captors.
Then, for whatever reason, you were stripped and washed of all the grime and
shit that had been in your cell. Just as you were starting to feel a little
like a gang-rape victim, the group was finished with you.
You were then re-dressed in a tux, which was fine by you. Better then your
shitty shirt and pants.
But you had this nagging voice in the back of your mind that this suit wasn’t a
good thing.
As if to affirm all your statements, Veliza Markor entered the room, his
entourage of one in tow.
“See, Chater? He cleans up well enough.” Veliza smirked at you while he spoke
to his lump of a body-guard.
“Spose.” The other troll, a brown-blood by the looks of it, just grunted. His
eyes were trained on you, something akin to jealousy sparkling through them.
“So, Dave, is it? How’d you get such a… short name? Bit odd for a troll, don’t
you think?” Veliza leaned toward you and you could see your own face reflected
in your shades.
Hold the phone here. He was wearing your shades?
Against your better judgment, you made a swipe for them, hissing; “That’s
Strider to you, fuckass.” You figured Karkat would forgive you for borrowing
his trademark word for this instance.
Veliza laughed, tapping the rims of the sunglasses as he stepped away from you.
“Wonderful contraption, these are. Trollian, an internet browser, and even a
music player, all on one little device. Where did you get them, I wonder?”
“I made them.” You growled, eyes following him as he circled around you. You
didn’t trust this man as far as you could throw him.
“I wonder who all these people are? Your troll list is full of colors… From red
to tyrian.” He stopped in front of you, the screens on your shades showing your
Trollian account. “Just who are you, Dave Strider?”
“No one.”
“Let’s agree not to lie to one another, shall we, Dave? After all, Mr. Ampora’s
life is in danger here.” He smiled at you benevolently, as if trying to make
that statement as innocent as an inquiry about the weather. You almost spat at
him, instead you chose to glare at him while you waited for him to finish his
question.
“Now, I know you’re someone. And you must be important, because the Condesce
herself has messaged you. “So I ask again; Who are you?”
You drew a deep breath, and exhaled before replying, your eyes trained on the
floor. “I’m a member of her Imperial Condesce’s high council. One of the
lawmakers of Alternia.”
“How many of you are there?”
“Twenty.”
You watched him flick through your troll list before nodding.
“Alright, Dave, here’s the transaction that’s going to take place. We’re going
for a walk, you me and Chater here. And we’re going to make an appearance at
Rust City’s council meeting tonight. Do not speak a word, and I will allow you
to see Mr. Ampora when we get back. Deal?”
You nodded stiffly, swallowing your anger for the moment as the handcuffed you
to the beefy armament troll. “Deal.”
Chapter End Notes
     Sorry this one took so long, guys! Working on fifteen!
     check out our Tumblr: http://swwagmebabe.tumblr.com
***** Pumpkin Party in Sea Hitler's Water Apocalypse *****
Chapter Summary
     Dave's separation from Eridan is starting to get to him while he's
     stuck in that damn cell. He finally gets the chance to see him....
     Eridan and the other trolls are prepping for the war for Alternia.
     Veliza has other plans.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
~~~~~Dave’s POV~~~~~
Turns out, your “stroll” with Veliza and beef-head had been to destroy the Rust
City council building, which you should have expected. You also probably should
have predicted that they wouldn’t really let you see Eridan after said
demolition.
When you asked Chater about Veliza’s promise, he’d scoffed at you and thrown
you back in to your cell without a word, an act that truly put him on your shit
list.
So, being the good little captive that you were, you’d started to throw a
tantrum, hoping to attract attention.
Of course, this failed to work, and while it did make you feel a bit better,
the mood only lasted for a few minutes.
Eventually, you had no choice but resign yourself to sitting on the floor of
your cell, staring at the wall opposite, and hoping something about your
situation would change.
You last thought before you fell asleep was about Eridan, who was almost
certainly feeling exactly like you. Cod you missed him.
 
~~~~~Eridan’s POV~~~~~
For the last three nights, you and the rest of the members of Feferi’s councils
had been plotting out the battle plan to eliminate the Uprisers. Each of you
had been assigned to a task in groups of two or three.
You, along with Aranea and Vriska were in charge of the Navy. When Vriska had
introduced Aranea to you, you’d almost laughed at them. Aranea certainly didn’t
look it, but she was an amazing strategist behind her cute exterior. Together,
the three of you had charted a course along the main body of Alternia. There
were other, smaller, islands of course, but none of them had a major city on
them.
Everyone else had their own duties as well.
Rust City’s council building and a few other hubs had already been destroyed.
In retaliation, Meenah (another seadweller) and Karkat, the leaders of the
standing army, had launched a vicious attack on a known Upriser compound.
Nothing had remained once they were done with them.
Kankri, it turned out, was a perfect spokesperson, and while Feferi made most
of her addresses herself, Kankri was always available to give a speech. He was
also in charge of recruiting new members for the army, though he wasn’t very
enthusiastic about it. Meulin and Nepeta did a lot more of the recruiting then
he did to make up for it.
Sollux and Mituna, who was virtually Sollux’s twin, were constantly hacking the
Upriser’s networks. They would plant viruses, triggered by certain words or
codes. Sollux was happy to get to use his computer-exploding codes again. You
just prayed they were never turned in your direction.
Tavros and his counter part were training a new set of Calvalreapers, a task
they both seemed to enjoy immensely.
Porrim, Kanaya and Rose manufactured uniforms for every new recruit in record
times. Instead of tailoring to each troll (which was what usually happened)
they generalized the sizes with help from the once-human. It was, apparently, a
system used on Earth to make sure everyone got the same thing, exactly the same
way. It expedited the work and made it much easier on the seamstresses although
she did have to suppress the urge to add more of an artistic flare at times.
“Functional not fashionable” you’d heard her repeat to herself more then once.
Dirk, Equius and Eq’s double did something with robotics. You didn’t really
understand it, and didn’t particularly care to, either. They all sort of scared
you.
Terezi and Latula were in charge of the Justice System and trying all of the
Uprisers that were captured during attacks and raids. Since the Alternian
justice system didn’t allow for the defense to have an attorney, the two girls
were vicious when it came to questioning. You certainly hoped you were never
arrested by them or one of the two creepy as fuck Subbjugglators.
John and Jake were assigned as Feferi’s full time body guards while Kurloz and
Gamzee arrested people during raids alongside the Libras. However, since
Feferi’s protection was vital, the Subbjugglators would often step in as added
security in their down time.
The Aries’ trained any of the new psychic lowbloods that happened to join the
army, and though they were few and far between, they took time to mold. Most of
the newer psychics were ones who had never been trained to use their powers for
anything other then their day-to-day issues. The Aries’ job was to train them
to be battle ready and use their powers for war, if necessary.
The other three girls, Jane, Jade, and Roxy didn’t do much but cater to the
rest of you. They seemed to enjoy it though. They worked alongside the rest of
Feferi’s servants preparing food and keeping the others alive.
Part of you still wondered what Dave would be doing if he were there with you.
And the other part of you pushed the thought aside every time it came to your
mind.
It was stupid to dwell on the past and things that would never be. All that
mattered now was dealing with the Uprising and, if he truly was a part of it
all, Dave along with them.
~~~~~Dave’s POV~~~~~
On the third night after the Rust City incident, you were let out of your cell
again and led to the GV room, where you made your first broadcast.
You were sat in the same chair and the same troll from before made you look
presentable once more.
Veliza strolled into the room, his brawny guardian in tow.
“You lied to me.” You spat at him, glaring a bit. “You told me I could see
Eridan when we got back the other night.”
Veliza shook his head at you. “Oh, I did, didn’t I? It escaped my mind.” He
shrugged your anger aside, smiling impeccably as usual. “Perhaps tonight, if
you behave.”
‘Behave? Great, I’m not only a prisoner I’m this bulgelicker’s dog.’ You
thought, scoffing, but didn’t reply and turned back to the camera in front of
you. The troll behind it was a rust blood a little lower then you. He was
obviously scared shitless by Veliza. You honestly had to wonder why.
Sure, Veliza Markor was imposing. But he was anything but scary. He hid his
eyes most of the time, either behind your shades or another pair. He was a
little pudgy, a chubby belly hanging over his belt with thick arms that were
not very muscular. He looked like he hadn’t worked a day in his life—at least
since his Grub Trials.
That was when a thought hit you.
You’d seen that frame before. The chubby belly, easy smile, imposing stature;
those were all highblood traits, particularly the overly-common bluebloods.
Unfortunately, before you could belt out his obvious deceit, they had you
hooked to a mic and were starting the broadcast.
It crossed your mind that you could say it now, on live Grubvision, and hope
the lowbloods rebelled against him. Then Eridan drifted in to your head. There
was no doubt in your head that Veliza would not hesitate to kill your
boyfriendsprit.
So instead, you were a good little spokesperson, bitterly saying your prompts.
“Good evening members of the Royal Council. I wonder what it’s like, being
forced to see one of your own delivering these messages?
“As we stated in our first address, your resistance has been met with violence.
Rust City has been reduced to less than ‘chum’, to use one of our Condesce’s
flavorful fish puns.
“None of this would happen if you chose to step down. We will give you another
chance. Stop resisting us and step down, before Alternia is destroyed. We’ll
even let you live.
“I don’t suppose I need to tell you what happens if you refuse our generous
offer. Please think this over carefully.”
Once the camera was shut off and your mic was removed, Veliza spoke to you
again.
“Good job, Dave! That was spectacular.” He clapped mockingly, turning to the
meathead beside him. “Chater, why don’t you take him to see… Eridan, was it?”
He glanced at you for a moment. You decided it would be a good idea to give him
the bird. Even behind the shades you could tell he was rolling his eyes. “He
can stay with him for the night I suppose. He must be dying to see him.” Veliza
continued, ignoring you now.
“Yes, sir.” Chater grumbled and reached out to grab you by the forearm. He
dragged you through the door in silence.
“So…. Chater, right? Man they must have miss-named you. I think those two words
were the first you’d ever spoken. Must be tough, having such a deceptive name.
Ever have people try to start conversations with you at random? I’ll bet you
have.” You realized that you were rambling. It was exactly what you wanted to
be doing.
Chater grew increasingly annoyed with every word you said, the veins in his
neck pulsing. You grinned inwardly.
“What are you to Markor, anyway? Surely you’re not just his bodyguard.” You
prodded his side, waggling your eyebrows at him.
He glared at you.
“You should learn when ta be quiet.” He grumbled, steering you down another
hallway.
“But I’m interested. I just wanna know. What is he to you? Gotta be moirails?
Maybe even matesprits?” At this, the other trolls face flushed a dark sepia
tone, confirming his blood color.
“Shut up.” He snapped, pushing you ahead of his a step. He stopped at an
unmarked door at the end of the hallway. He unlocked the door before shoving
you inside and slamming it shut again.
You turned to the door just as he shut it and shouted: “Nice talking to you,
Chater!” You allowed yourself a shit-eating grin as you turned around.
Your eyes connected with a set of violet irises across the small room.
The other, unfamiliar troll frowned at you.
“Vwho the fuck are you?”
You stared at him, surprised. This troll was not Eridan.
Chapter End Notes
     Thanks to both my editors for all your help!
     check us out on Tumblr: http://swwagmebabe.tumblr.com
***** Suck My Kiss *****
Chapter Summary
     If there's one thing you hate more then being trapped in a cell, it's
     highblood snobs. And unfortunately, you seem to have both of these
     things in abundance lately.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
~~~~~Dave’s POV~~~~~
There was a troll sitting across the room from you who looked very much like
your boyfrond/matesprit/moirail-thing. Eridan was a fighter. An antagonistic
bitch, really (It was something you found endearing about him). Not a wannabe,
pansy-ass, Lie-Down-and-Take-It bitch who looked like he’d been pulled out of
the movie ‘Grease”. Earth to Danny Zuko, you have lost your Kenickie.
“Vwho the fuck are you?” The guy wearing Eridan’s face repeated, glaring
slightly. His resemblance to Eridan –something that had been unnerving a moment
ago— ended when he opened up his mouth. His quirk was possibly more annoying
then Karkat’s yelling. There was no need to put that much effort into sounding
like a tool. At least Eridan had a think pan. This guy was just a poser.
“Dave Strider.” You snapped back at him, mocking his tone. He had the gall to
look offended, but it caught you a moment of silence which you gratefully took
to look around the room.
Not much was different between your cell and this douche-bag’s. Same set up
just mirrored.
“Vwhy are you here?” The other troll had regained speech. Wonderful.
“You know, usually tellin’ the other person in your prison cell who you are is
a good way to start a relationship. Just sayin’.” You sat yourself against the
door, listening for anyone on the outside.
“Vwhat are you doing?” He inquired again, standing out of his chair this time.
“Answver me!”
You let your eyes move back to him. If there wasn’t a guard there now, there
would be soon. You had to establish this asshole’s identity quick. Preferably
before his complete lack of appropriate situational responses got the two of
you a nice healthy serving of the vitamin ass whoopin’. “ Shut your face before
you get us in even more trouble with the hemo-racist nookwads willing to blow
up entire cities for their ‘rights’. And don’t you start the Highblood snobbery
with me.” You stood up again, covering his mouth when he opened it again. “Do
you even know why you’re here? Do you know who they think you are?” The purple-
blood looked at you with a mixture of shock and confusion, even a tint of fear
as he shook his head. “They think you’re my moirail, that they have you as
leverage over me. You’re the other Ampora, right?”
He pulled your hand away from his mouth regaining his composure. “Cronus.” He
growled slightly. “You’re telling me it’s your fault I’vwe been in this dam
cell for cod knowvs howv long?”
“Yeah, shut up, I’m not done.” You continued, ignoring his squawk of protest.
“From now on, your name is Eridan, you got that? If they realize you’re not
him, they might—by which I mean definitely— kill you.” He shut his mouth at
that, blinking at you. Huh. Maybe he was smarter then your average lemming. You
glanced around the room again, hoping for something, anything, to help you get
yourself out of this situation. “You notice anything when they brought you in
here? A way out?”
“No. They knocked me out.”
Fuck, there went that option.
“Alright, look, they think you’re my moirail. That’s why they put me in here
with you. Are you goin’ to be able to play nice and act like you like me?” He
scoffed at you, arching an eyebrow. You gave him a hard glower for his trouble.
“This is no time for your stuck-up bullshit, our lives are on the line here and
while I don’t give half a fuck about yours-“ you forgot how to speak
momentarily as frustration jumps around your think pan.
After thinking that over for a moment, he replied, “I suppose.” Cronus huffed,
crossing his arms defiantly. “I don’t understand it, but I guess I can play
along.”
The two of you fell in to an uncomfortable silence for almost two hours. Then
he spoke up.
“So… vwhat is he like? Your moirail, I mean.” Cronus looked up at you from the
seat he’d taken a while earlier. He looked as bored as you felt.
“Eridan?” You yawned as you sat back up from where you’d laid down on the
floor. You glanced at him. “What about him?”
Cronus shrugged, leaning back in his chair. “Vwhat’s he look like? I don’t
knowv.”
You thought for a minute before responding. “Like you, only he doesn’t have the
scars on his forehead. His hair sticks up instead of being slicked back. He
wears a periwinkle and blue scarf at all times, regardless of what perigee it
is, and a long-sleeved black shirt to go with it. Even the shirt has a
turtleneck because he doesn’t like to show people his gills. He wears blue and
black striped pants, and purple shoes.”
Cronus looked thoughtful, sitting back against the wall and crossing his legs
at the ankles in a way that reminded you all too much of Eridan. It was
jarring. So not right it was almost hard to process, that natural movement was
such a perfect carbon copy of him that it took you a few second to feel like
you could breathe without gasping or hyperventilating.
“He has deformed gills then.” He said after a moment. You stared at him,
puzzled. Cronus rolled his eyes. “Oh please! It’s obvwious! Does he livwe under
the sea?”
You had the urge to go Little Mermaid and start singing, but decided against
it. He probably wouldn't get the joke anyway.
“No. He lives on shore in a hive made out of an old ship.” You admitted. If
this chump was right, your own Little Mremaid’s aversion to the water made more
sense. “And he rarely swims.” You really should have seen it before, with how
much the other fishtrolls swam and how much Eridan didn't. He hardly touched
the water outside of his nightly shower. Retrospective over-view was an
enlightening son of a beach.
Cronus glanced at you, almost curiously. “If you’re his moirail, vwhy didn't he
tell you that? Seatrolls hate to cowver their gills. It’s like trying to
breathe through a cloth. It wvorks, but it's uncomfortable. And it itches.”
You shrugged, glancing around the room. It hadn't changed any in the last few
hours. You didn't really know what you were hoping for. A secret passage way,
maybe? Anything to distract you from the way to valid and reasonable question
the other Aquarius had posed.
“Probably because I’m not a seadweller and wouldn't understand his physiology.”
That was a lame excuse and you knew it.
The purple blood scrunched his nose at you. “Don’t use big vwords please. They
confuse me.” You couldn't stifle a laugh. He shot you a dark look.
“Vwhat else? Wvhat is he in to?” The Aquarius changed the subject again,
fidgeting with the end of his shirt, a lot like how Eridan would play with
scarf when he was embarrassed.
“He’s a historian. Likes to read, and write a lot. Plays the Violin when he
gets depressed, sometimes for days on end.” You smiled, remembering the time
you’d walked in to find him playing some sort of Troll ballad on his violin,
swaying and leaning with the music as it rise and fell. His time was a bit off,
but you couldn't fault him for that. Time was your thing. “He FLARPS with me
and a few others and is a ruthless fighter when he wants to be. He’s also
obnoxious and whiny and gets made fun of a lot by our other friends, but he
doesn't let it get to him as much as it used to.”
Cronus nodded along with your explanation and scoffed when you talked about
FLARPing.
“He seems alright.” He concluded, looking down at his hands. He was silent
again for a few moments. His head snapped up after a moment. “Davwe, right?” A
noticeable amount of urgency made its way into his tone.
“Yeah.” You looked at him again, wondering what he could want to talk about
now.
“Have you met any of the other Beta trolls like me?” He asked, and you could
almost swear there was a glimmer of concern on his face.
“No, I don’t think so.” You frowned a bit. “Why?”
The purpleblood shook his head, smiling a bit. “Nothing.” He looked relieved
though, so you didn't question him further.
Another hour or so passed before you finally drug yourself up and stripped.
Cronus was eyeing you, a grin spreading across his face.
“Not that I don’t mind the showv, but vwhat’s the occasion?” He yawned a bit
and stood as well, smoothing his hair back firmly.
“I’m goin’ to sleep.” You muttered, climbing in to the rooms’ one recooprecoon.
Cronus frowned at you.
“There’s only one recooprecoon though. Wvhere do I sleep?”
“With me?” You suggested, sighing happily as you were encased in the calming
green slime. You snuggled against the wall of the coon. “Moirails usually sleep
together anyway, right?”
He shrugged at you as he rid himself of his clothing. “I vwouldn’t knovw. I’vwe
nevwer had a real moirail. Vwe're kind of off and on.” He hoisted himself in to
the coon as well, trying his hardest not to touch you as settled himself in
beside you.
You scoffed at him. “Dude, really? I don’t have troll cooties.”
“Iwv’e nevwer shared a coon before!” He hissed.
“Eridan and I share one all the time.” You rolled over to look at the other
troll, who was struggling with his back to you.
“Howv? It’s impossible to sleep like this—“ His words were silenced when you
hugged him around his chest from behind.
“Dude, in a space this small, it’s impossible to not touch each other.” You
hugged him a bit harder as he started to squirm again. “Now stop acting like a
wriggler.”
Stunned, he stopped moving and laid against you in silence. Just as you were
starting to drift off to sleep, he spoke again.
“But I don’t vwant to be the little metal food scooper.”
~~~~~
When you woke up the next night, Cronus was still out cold in your arms. You’d
almost thought he was Eridan for a moment, and had to resist the urge to hug
him closer.
You missed him. You missed him like a dying man missed breath and blood and
spirit. All the research you’d done on moirails had said that it was painful to
be separated, but that was nothing like this.
This felt like you were missing a part of your very being. The part you kept
hidden away and safe from harm and it was just ripped away.
You hardly wanted to move, but you forced yourself out of the recooprecoon any
way, and sat yourself in one of the room’s two chairs after dressing.
Your eyes wandered back to Cronus every now and again. You wondered if he’d
honestly be able to pull-off acting as if he liked you.
You didn’t have to contemplate that for too long, because the cell door opened
to Chater’s face.
“You’re up?” He rumbled, glancing at the coon. Deciding you had to act like you
cared, you jumped up and growled at him, moving toward the coon. You’d done the
same thing when Vriska had walked in on you and Eridan sleeping one night after
a FLARP, so it was the right thing, right?
Chater rolled his eyes at you, but took a step back. “You’re coming with me.”
he said, motioning toward the door.
You thought for a moment, glancing back to Cronus. He’d woken up and was
staring at you with bright violet eyes.
“I can come back later, right?” You asked. You didn't have to act too much,
Chater was about as thick as you could get.
“If Veliza says you can.” He shrugged.
So you followed him out the door.
He shut it behind you, and for a brief moment, you thought about running. But
you didn't know a way out, and they’d kill Cronus, and you weren't too sure you
could act broken-up about it. So you cast the idea aside.
You were led around the maze of a base. The hallways never seemed to end and
there were so many doors, you couldn't believe Chater found his way around
there alone.
You were tossed in to a room on the sixth hallway, and were immediately
surprised. The whole room screamed highblood grandeur.
Veliza, the king of it all, sat rather regally on a sofa near the door.
“Ah, Mr. Strider. Thank you Chater, you can go.” He waved a hand at the body
guard and with a grunt; Chater meandered away, shutting the door behind him.
You glanced around the room quickly, scanning for a way out.
There were no windows. The room was completely square, and filled to the brim
with useless items. A sofa, a lounger, a GV, and a Grubtop off on a large
wooden table in the corner.
There was plenty you could use as a weapon, but somehow, you knew you’d be dead
before you could ever escape. He might be an arrogant, self-righteous,
hypocritical douchebag with delusions of grandeur and a slight god complex, but
Veliza was rather smart and always prepared. You wouldn’t stand a chance if you
attacked him in his personal ego room.
There was no clock, so you couldn't even find a steady beat to get yourself out
of there using time shenanigans. You almost wished you’d thought of the time
ideas before, but those were possibly more dangerous then Veliza. No reference
to for the current relative time, no stabilizing elements like your
tables—you’d probably end up splinched at best, drastically increasing the swag
quota of two separate timelines. With two separate pieces of your body, that
would be ripped apart by sheer stupidity and unstable time weaves…. Maybe that
wasn't such a good idea after all.
Your eyes eventually came back to rest on the troll himself, who smiled at you
rather smugly behind your shades. Dickbag. Fuckweasel. Insert insult of your
choice here.
“Quite a few friends you've got here, Dave.” Veliza said, the screen on your
shades showed him scrolling through them. “But none of them have tried to
contact you since the second night you were here. Why’s that?”
You shrugged and decided not to answer. You focused your attention on the GV,
where a troll you didn't know but looked oddly like Karkat, was preaching—yes
preaching—to the GV crews about how “the Empress and her Council remain strong
in these hard times”.
“A member of the council, perhaps?” Veliza remarked, noticing where you were
looking. “Do you know him, Dave?”
“No.” You rolled your eyes. “I don’t know every fuckin’ troll on Alternia.” You
scanned the crowd in front of the CopyKat and saw Gamzee and John standing
near, like bodyguards.
You almost grinned when you saw the damned ass-clown’s squeakbeast nest hair. A
tingle went through your skin and you shivered a bit as you thought about the
couple of glares you and Gamzee had exchanged during the Ball and other
meetings. Black feelings abound.
“Dave, I am talking to you.” Veliza huffed to your back, annoyed.
“I don’t really care.” You turned back to him, mocking his tone. “I’m a little
busy catching up on the news, so can it, bulge-munch.”
Veliza sputtered. You must have offended him. Good.
“Strider, I called you here to talk to you, not to have you watch GV in my
loungeblock!”
You had the audacity to put your hand on your hip. “I’m not up fro talking
right now.” You smirked at his look of outrage. Man he was easy to turn on.
Turn on…?
Uh-oh.
No. Hell. No. Hell. Fucking. No.
You were NOT waxing black for HIM of all trolls! You already had something
kind-of going on back home with Gamzee motherfucking Makara, not the leader of
the rebellion who annoyed the living shit out of you and was lying to his
followers and had kidnapped you and threatened Eridan.
But when you laid it out like that in your think-pan, it was hard to deny the
pitch feelings seeping in to your thoughts as you glowered at him.
And when you really thought about it, you had more reasons to hate him then you
did Gamzee. Also more reasons to actually kill him, but them hatin’
jus’fications would hol' up a court a’ ol’ western law.
“So you won’t talk with me but you have time to gawk, hm?” Veliza took to his
feet, a shit-eating grin starting to spread across his face.
Your resolve snapped. As to why, who knows?
All you knew was something clicked on in your think-pan and suddenly, you had
launched yourself over the low coffee table between you and forced the leader
of the rebellion under you on the sofa. You bit and hissed and growled at him,
every nerve in your body on fire.
You only halted when you realized he was lying still beneath you.
He was shocked, without a doubt. That much was obvious. He was staring at you,
eyes wide behind your shades, mouth agape, hands brought up to protect himself.
He was panting and flushed.
“What’s wrong with you? Never had a black romance?” You teased, grinning a bit.
“Of course, being a ‘lowblood’ and all, you've been oppressed all your life
right? So how’s this any different?”
Veliza sputtered a bit, trying to form words but he couldn't seem to find
anything coherent enough, so you pressed your lips to his to keep yourself from
saying anything.
It didn't stay chaste long. Instead, it grew hot—angry even. You bit at his
lips and shoved your tongue past his teeth. He struggled a bit uselessly,
whimpering. You guessed he was regretting being so soft right about now.
You wondered if you were even doing this black-rom thing right. Maybe that was
why he kept seizing up under you? But no, that couldn't be it, because all of
your troll instincts were telling you to bite him, hurt him, slice him, make
him bleed.
It was overwhelming. A lot like when you and Eridan had dropped the bass, only
this was driven by hate, not pity.
You pulled back from his lips again to tug down the collar of his shirt and
sank your teeth into his neck, not even hard enough to draw blood, and grinned
at the scream he let out.
Then you were being pulled off of him.
“Veliza! Are you okay?”
The bastard’s scream had called in his meat-head minder, who’d dragged you off
his master by your ankles, then cast you aside like yesterday’s whore in a
Grand Theft Auto game.
“Get him the fuck out of here!” Veliza’s cool had slipped and he was screaming
at Chater, anger blurred across his face. Maybe you’d gone too far?
But no, there was definitely something straining against his pants. You winked
at Veliza, flashing him a grin, even as you were being dragged out of the room
by your horns.
Even when they tossed you back in your own cell, you didn't complain.
That brief moment where Veliza Markor’s life had been in your hands had been
entirely worth your whole stay in this damned complex. Cronus be damned, you’d
bit the fucker, and it’d felt good.
Chapter End Notes
     Whoo hoo! Finally posted it! This chapter was a long one. o.O
     Thanks to all the people who stick by the story, regardless!
     our tumblr: http://swwagmebabe.tumblr.com/
***** Somebody that You Used to Know? *****
Chapter Summary
     Sollux and Eridan sit down to have a talk about Dave.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
~~~~~Eridan’s POV~~~~~
Once the war had officially started, you basically had no free time. You were
always busy, helping Feferi, planning attacks, all the usual war stuff. You
hardly slept the first couple weeks.
So when you finally got a spare moment to yourself, you’d planned to spend it
all alone with your violin, giving the strings a much-needed play.
Instead, just as you had rosined up your bow and laid it against the strings of
your instrument, a knock echoed from the wood of your door.
You went to answer it, muttering and cursing under your breath as you
practically threw the door off its hinges.
“Wwhat?”
Sollux grinned at you from the doorway, laughing softly. “Jethuth ED, what did
the door ever do to you?”
You rolled your eyes at the Gemini, but let him in. Sollux had been something
of a comfort to you in the recent weeks, and you weren’t about to turn down a
little one-on-one time. Your violin could wait.
“Wwhat’s up?” You willed yourself to calm down as you shut the door behind him.
“I wanted to talk to you about thomething.” Sollux perched himself on your desk
and toyed with the bow you’d set down a moment earlier.
You took a seat in your chair and leaned back to look at the other troll.
“Alright, I’m listenin’.”
Sollux took a deep breath before starting. “It’th about DV. And don’t you dare
cut me off!” He shot you a glare when you’d opened your mouth to kindly tell
Sol you didn’t want to talk about him.
The psionic sighed. “ED, don’t you think you’ve been a little… aggrethive when
it cometh to your reactionth to all thith? You and DV bonded tho much, tho
fatht, and the lot of uth with even a teathpoon of emotional awareneth could
thee that you were thomething good together. You jump into—and out of thingth—
like your quadranth, really fatht. And I think… that maybe you’re denying your
feelingth about him more adamantly then you thould. I think you're denying them
to the point where you’re killing yourself trying to completely deny the
loyalty you really have for him. And it’s going to kill him when- look,
afterwords…” He cut himself off again and pursed his lips for a second. He then
set your bow back on the desk and stared at you with solemn mismatched eyes.
His gaze was slightly pained, but unwavering. You swallowed back the
nervousness welling up in your stomach. “ED, it’th okay to be thcared. You know
that, right?”
“Sol, I’m not scared!” You protested, even though you knew you were lying. So
did he, from the way he looked at you.
“Eridan.” Oh shit. He said your full name. He meant business. “What are you
going to do when we find Dave? Becauthe you and I both know you’re not going to
kill him.” For the second time you stared at him incredulously. It was nearly
inconceivable that…
It began to sink in. After all this, whenever, wherever that was, you and he
could…
And then, for the first time in what felt like forever, you were filled with
Hope. Real, pure, unadulterated Hope. The force of it made choke out another
sob.
A choked sob escaped your lips and tears flooded your eyes before you could
respond. You laid your head in your hands and let them flow freely. “Cod, I
don’t knoww… I don’t knoww…” You heard Sollux push off the desk, and you looked
up at him over your glasses when he knelt in front of you.
“When we find him, ED, you’re going to be red for him thikth wayth to Twelfth
Perigeeth Eve. And no one ith going to fault you for that.”
“Wwhen wwe find him?” You sniffled, smiling up at the other troll.
“Yeth, ED. when we find him, I ekthpect you to hug and kith the THIT out of
him. And if you don’t, I might. Becauthe DAMN ED, DV ith fine.” He grinned at
you lopsidedly.
You couldn’t stifle a laugh as you hugged the bony asshat. He held you just as
tightly for a few minutes, letting you sob and snot all over him, and didn’t
seem to mind much. You were so Pale for him sometimes.
Chapter End Notes
     This chapter is heinously short, but the content is something that
     has been weighing on me and Heimdall for a while.
     I wanted Eridan to jump into things too quickly, because that's how
     he is. I knew someone was going to have to bring him back.
     So we assigned Sollux the role.
     I'm gomen. It's REALLY short...
     Merry Christmas!
     Tumblr: http://swwagmebabe.tumblr.com
     EDIT: I am SO sorry, but chapter 18 is going to be delayed! My
     computer died on me, and took all my files with it! If you have any
     questions, comments, concerns, or anything, please visit the Swag
     tumblr. or if you just want to talk to me, you can find my Tumblr
     here:
     http://eribubblesampora.tumblr.com
***** Mad World *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
~~~~~Dave’s POV~~~~~
Two days after your moment with Veliza, you were roused from your cell by two
rust bloods. They both looked like they had the worst job in the world as they
instructed you to get dressed. They handcuffed you and once that was done, they
led you through the maze of halls to a room you hadn’t visited yet.
Veliza and Chater occupied this room. They stood in the far corner, talking
lowly. Chater glared at you over Veliza’s shoulder and you grinned back. If you
were going to be an ass, you may as well play it up while you could.
Veliza turned to you after his conversation with Chater was over. You noticed
immediately that instead of his usual collared shirt, he was wearing a
turtleneck under his blazer.
So you’d left a mark when you’d bit him. And he didn’t want anyone to know.
Interesting.
Cronus was pulled into the room a minute or so later. You were starting to get
uncomfortable. No one had said anything.
So being the only Strider in the room, and therefore too cool for this sort of
junior high prom silence, you spoke first.
“So what’s the weather like? I haven’t been outside in so long, I sometimes
forget it exists.” You inclined your head toward your captors.
“We’re moving to Yellow City today in preparation for our next attack.” Veliza
replied smoothly, as though you hadn’t spoken in the first place. “You’ll see
plenty of the outdoors when you’re shuttled there.” He kept glancing at Cronus
distractedly as the purple-blood was batting his eyelashes flirtatiously at one
of the brown-blooded guards.
The Rebel leader cleared his throat to get the seatroll’s attention.
Cronus turned toward Veliza and proceeded to eye him from toes to horns,
grinning all the while.
You couldn’t stifle the snicker that escaped your lips when Veliza realized
what Cronus was doing.
Cronus waggled his eyebrows at him. “You knowv, I don’t think vwe’wve met yet.
I’m—“ you silently prayed to every deity you could think of that Cronus
wouldn’t screw up the next words out of his mouth and throw all your work to
keep his identity a secret. “—Eridan Ampora. Vwhat’s your name?” You thanked
every one of those deities you’d prayed to not a moment earlier. Maybe Cronus
did have a think pan after all.
Veliza frowned at him. “Mr. Strider, I believe you might need to have a talk
with your Moirail. He does not seem to understand his current situation.”
“Oh, I understand my situation, Chief! I’m just trying to make the best of it!”
Cronus shrugged nonchalantly and winked at him.
Veliza stared at him for a moment. “I am not interested in a relationship with
a highblood like you.”
Unable to stop yourself, you chimed in: “You sure, Veliza? He give you sucky-
sucky, five boondollar! He love you long time!” You and Cronus both dissolved
into giggles, Cronus wheezing through his laugh about how he wasn’t that cheap.
Chater coughed to cover his own low chuckle.
Veliza acted as though you hadn’t spoken at all and moved his gaze to the
guards on either side of you and Cronus. “Get them ready for transport. They’ll
be on shuttle 413. We leave in twenty minutes.” He instructed, and then left
the room, muttering under his breath. Chater followed him out, still smiling a
bit.
~~~~~
For the past couple weeks, you’d been thinking that being kidnapped and forced
to turn against your friends was the worst thing that could have ever happened
to you.
You’d been wrong.
Being handcuffed to Cronus Ampora and forced to sit through a shuttle ride with
him was much worse.
Cronus loved to talk. You’d figured that out pretty quickly. And he mostly
talked about himself. This guy was a textbook narcissist. It would’ve been
annoying if it didn’t make you laugh so much.
You noticed though that there was one topic of conversation that Cronus would
immediately shy away from as soon as he approached it. The Quadrants.
It was amusing, all things considered. Eridan loved to talk about the
Quadrants. He’d sit and explain them to you for hours. He didn’t even need
prompting.
But Cronus avoided them entirely. Almost as though he’d been trained to.
“So why don’t you talk about the quadrants?” You wondered aloud, not really
intending to say anything about it. It was too late to take your words back
now. You watched Cronus’ face color from fin to fin and you thought maybe you’d
said something wrong because he was silent for a long moment.
“Because… It can be triggering to some people.” He muttered, looking at his
knees and biting his lip slightly and you really needed to stop looking at him
because when he did that, he looked too much like Eridan for your comfort.
Knowing a whipped guy when you saw one, though, you couldn’t suppress your
small smirk.
“So who is it?” You asked, checking your nails for dirt, though it was hard to
see it under the natural orange color of the bone. It was a much easier way to
distract yourself when you were still human.
“Vwho’s wvhat?” Cronus replied immediately, playing dumb.
“Your Matesprit, of course.”
Cronus’ face became impossibly purpler and he sighed dramatically.
“If you’d met him, you’d knowv vwho he wvas the moment I used the vword
‘triggering’.” He smiled fondly at the window, remembering the person in
question. “He talks a lot, evwen more than me. And he doesn’t havwe many
friends because of it. And… vwell, no one likes me much either.” He shrugged
and laughed. “And he has that stupid chastity wvowv, so I vwas really surprised
wvhen he agreed to be my matesprit…” He trailed off and his shoulders sunk a
bit.
You felt sorry for Cronus for the first time since you’d met him. You were
sorry for getting him mixed up in this mess, and forcing him away from his
Matesprit, because he obviously needed him.
“Okay. But you didn’t answer my question.” You said, changing the subject to
something less depressing that didn’t make you think of Eridan. “What’s his
name?”
Cronus laughed and sat up a bit. He even shot you a small grin and dropped his
quirk when he said his Flush’s name. “Kankri Vantas.”
You smiled as well. Of course Karkat’s ancestor would talk people to death. His
dancestor did it, too.
~~~~~Eridan’s POV~~~~~
You and your friends had been stationed in Yellow City for almost two days now.
Working hand in hand with Karkat and Meenah; Aranea, Vriska, and yourself had
determined that the Rebellion would attack Yellow City next.
And so you sat, waiting for the attack.
The Psionics had been accommodating. They had known they would be next since
the last attack on Orange City, and had been preparing since. All your army had
to do was wait for them to take down the enemy.
It was somewhat unnerving, having to wait for an attack as you’d never been on
site for one before. But just as it had been with the other ones, you knew it
would come and it eased the tension a bit.
To pass the time, you often held miniature war conferences on the second floor
balcony of the compound you were stationed at. Your usual topic of discussion
at the war table drifted to why they were attacking Yellow City in the first
place
It was certainly not the best of places to attack, nor the easiest. The
concentration of Psionics was the largest in Yellow City, and almost all the
adult trolls living there were trained in combat. They even had a form of
police that patrolled the circumference of the city. That would make it hard to
get around unnoticed.
“Are they stupid?” Meenah scoffed, leaning back in her chair, though her
fingers were still wound through Aranea’s.
“They must be. Or their think-pans have rusted out of their fucking skulls.”
Karkat shook his head as he rolled his red-tinted eyes. “That’s the only
explanation for this grand fucking idea they have of just waltzing in and
attacking the largest concentration of Psionics in all of fucking Alternia and
expecting not to be blasted off the damn planet into the next timeline.”
“This is hardly good planning. We’ve had our troops in the city for a couple
days now, and the Psionics here have been prepared for even longer. They must
be looking to get themselves killed.” Aranea frowned, thinking.
“Who caaaaaaaares! As long as we get to bash some skulls in!!!!!!!!” Vriska
grinned, eyes alight and menacing with bloodlust. For a moment, you wondered
why you had been her kismesis. She was so vicious in the way she threw herself
in to everything she did. It was a little scary.
“Vvris, remember that wwe’re here in case the Psionics need backup.” You chimed
in quietly and Aranea nodded in agreement.
Normally, you would have been calling for blood as well. Maybe being with Dave
had changed some things about you…
“We’re only here if they need us, and to apprehend the culprits once they’re
done with them.” Aranea glanced between her matesprit and dancestor. “Please
don’t engage in anything reckless.”
Meenah pursed her lips but nodded, squeezing Aranea’s hand gently.
“Vvris, that goes for you, too.”
“Shut up fishface! I know!” Vriska stuck her tongue out at you and leaned back
in her chair to pout. “You’re no fun anymore. What happened to the genocidal
douche bag Eridan?” The others at the table all tried to shush her.
The question was rhetorical and didn’t require an answer, but you gave one any
way as you stood up, intending to get yourself a cup of coffee from the nearby
bar.
“He wwas killed by Kan in the game. Wwelcome to reality. Wwe aren’t wwrigglers
anymore, Vvris. It’s time to defend our neww wworld. And I for one am
determined to keep it.” You looked around at your friends, getting a small
smile and nod from Karkat and Aranea while Meenah just looked thoughtful. “I
finally got somethin’ good. And I ain’t gunna lose it noww.”
Before anyone could reply to your speech, a quake ran through the earth at your
feet, the force of it landing you on your ass. Karkat was the first up on his
feet, screeching orders at the army below you to take to their stations.
When you righted yourself, the others were on their feet as well. You joined
them at the balcony, watching as the forces below you moved and organized
themselves. It was a fantastic sight.
“There hasn’t been an army this large since the Condesce’s.” Vriska said from
beside you and Meenah grinned widely, showing off her shark-like teeth.
“That’s right, beaches! This war is ours!”
~~~~~Dave’s POV~~~~~
When Veliza had mentioned that his newest target was Yellow City, you had to
stop yourself from laughing in his face. Laughing at an idiot was okay, but
when his pet brick shithouse was in the room, it was a few steps beyond
“sleeping with the fish-trolls” special. Anyway, control issues at time of
reveal aside, seeing the actual implementation was nothing short of awe
inspiring.
You were feeling some seriously intense shame that this was the guy who had
managed to kidnap you, keep you captive, and cause you unending misery and
torment for the past couple weeks.
Judging by how well this poorly thought-out mission was going for him, you must
have been a limbless wheelchair bound inbred cripple with Multiple Sclerosis at
the time for him to succeed. Because wow. Yeah, launching a full scale attack
on an entire city of trolls who could play tennis on the playground down the
street without leaving the comfort of their massaging computer chairs was a
GREAT idea. Someone obviously had a big head and little arms, because you were
beginning to think this plan was not very well thought through.
In a stunning display of a truly shitty planning department that had probably
downsized, ejecting all of the good planners the first chance they got, Veliza
had the first round of explosives set up next to the Imperial Psionic Arena for
Wrigglers. You didn’t know where they were supposed to explode, but it didn’t
matter now. Not only had he made a shitty decision tactically (really dude, at
least try to take out your biggest threats. Hit parliament orsomething!) and
lost his element of surprise, he was now in the crosshairs of roughly 20
million psionics. Ten thousand of which were already flying toward your little
shuttle-palooza.
It was fucking glorious. Not only did his plan of attack fail, the Psionic’s
plan had already gone in to effect. They were firing energy of all colors at
the shuttles of Rebels, two of which had already been destroyed.
I hindsight, you probably should have been more worried about your shuttle
getting hit before you were thrown into a fast decent to the earth thousands of
yards below you.
It seemed that the sky really had something against you since you turned Troll.
You clambered out of the harness that kept you in the chair with some
difficulty and then turned to help Cronus do the same. Together, the two of you
moved toward the back of the shuttle, using the chairs that lined it for
support. Luckily, there weren’t any other passengers aboard your shuttle but
your guards, all four of which were kneeling at the front of the ship, losing
their lunches in unison. It made it easy for you and Cronus to get to the back
of the shuttle and poke around in the tech back there.
“Cronus, you know if any of this stuff can help us survive when we hit? You got
like, 30 seconds to tell me what.”
Cronus frowned at you, clearly upset with the notion but scanned the available
items quickly before grabbing for one.
“Take a deep breath.” He warned. You had barely enough time to do as he said
before he pressed the button on the side of the contraption and the entire area
surrounding the two of you filled with a foam-like substance.
The shuttle hit the ground a moment later, jarring you both and making your
vision white for a second.
When you recovered, you took a quick glance at Cronus, who gazed back at you
with wide purple eyes. You both started to dig yourselves out of the air-tight
foam.
When you surfaced, you were coughing and sputtering for air. Your arm was
tugged away from you and you turned to look at Cronus. He was desperately
pulling at the foam that clung to his neck and gills, face turning purple.
Out of the water and into the frying pan, you turned to help him, pulling the
foam away as carefully as you could.
When he could breathe again, Cronus attacked you with a hug, leaning his head
against your shoulder as he coughed and wheezed.
“Common man.” You managed to say, voice a bit hoarse. “We need to go. We’re
dead here.” You got to your feet despite your knees shaking and pulled him up
as well.
You supported each other as the two of you moved to leave the shuttle through
one of the new holes lining the side of it.
You led Cronus into the city, passing by battles and dead trolls. You could
only hope the two of you wouldn’t join them.
Turn by turn, you lost yourselves in the city.
When neither of you could move anymore, you found a dark alley far from the
battlefield. You and Cronus sat against the wall in the corner, wrapping your
arms around each other and hold the other close.
Neither of you spoke as you drifted off into an uneasy, light sleep.
Chapter End Notes
     I'm sorry that this chapter took so long to get out! After my
     computer died I spent a lot of time recovering any of my data I could
     from the various sites I have my works posted on. Chapter 19 is
     already started and should be out within the next couple weeks.
     I started a new Tumblr to post my fanfictions themselves on. It
     current has my oneshots and the first two chapters of True Heroes.
     This blog can be found here: http://autorespawnse.tumblr.com/
     The Swag blog: http://swwagmebabe.tumblr.com/
     My blog: http://eribubblesampora.tumblr.com/
     Again, sorry about the wait!
***** Volatile Times *****
Chapter Summary
     In which Eridan decapitates a brownblood and Dave and Cronus break in
     to Mituna's hivestem apartment. Featuring Sollux as Eridan's new
     moirail-but-not and Mituna who is a gamer not a hacker.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
~~~~~Eridan’s POV~~~~~
You’d been searching the wreckage at Yellow City for almost a day now; trying
to find any trace of the mysterious rebel leader that had eluded the Psionic’s
attacks.
He wasn’t in the wreckage as far as anyone of the search party could see.
Neither was Dave or Cronus, your dancestor.
You could only assume that they had gotten out somehow. This was both a relief
and a worry.
On one hand, Dave wasn’t among the dead, which meant he was alive…right? On the
other hand, he wasn’t among the living rebels the Psionics had captured, which
meant he was still missing.
Maybe they hadn’t brought Dave along when they had come to Yellow City? It was
certainly a possibility.
But Dave was the “spokesperson” for the rebellion. They wouldn’t have left
without him. So he had to be alive.
“Maybe he ethcaped.” Sollux supplied from your side, making you jump. You
hadn’t noticed him there.
You nodded. “Maybe.”
He gave you a half-hug before walking away to Mituna, who was trying to talk to
one of the Psionics assigned to help your group around the city.
You continued your search, looking through the decimated shuttles and bodies of
trolls that were beginning to smell after lying in the hot sun the day before.
You had to cover your mouth when you entered one of the shuttles. It was a
gruesome mess inside.
Safety foam covered and sealed the back end of the shuttle—two body-shaped
holes were carved out of it.
At the other end of the shuttle, there was a pile of bodies, broken and mangled
by the impact of the shuttle against the hard surface of Alternia. It was a
gruesome sight; brown and rust blood splattered the walls like a macabre
painting.
A low groan resounded through the metal walls, making you jump. One of them was
still alive?
Using the chairs for support, you lowered yourself to the pile, breathing very
pointedly through your mouth to avoid the smell.
“You alivve dowwn there?” You asked, coughing a bit. It was a little gross to
be standing in the muck of blood and entrails. How could you have been so
bloodthirsty before?
“Help me…” A faint voice murmured and you scanned the faces in front of you. A
rust blood was trying to reach out to you, tears in his eyes.
For a moment, you thought about leaving the traitor there to die. He was one of
the Rebels. He was dressed in their uniform. But he also might have information
on the enemy. Plus, there was only this group of maybe four or five trolls in a
shuttle that could have easily transported thirty to forty, which made you
curious.
“Alright. I’ll get you out.” You grasped his hand and started to ease him out
of the mess. The rust blood sobbed in pain and feebly grasped your hand back,
trying to help himself out as well.
You managed to get his torso free before noticing his shattered legs.
You swore under your breath and looked at the troll’s pained face.
You thought back to when Kanaya had chopped off Tavros’ legs in the game so he
could be fitted with the prosthetics Equius had made and you knew what you had
to do. There was no way his legs would heal anyway.
“This might hurt, though I doubt you’vve got much feelin’ left dowwn there.”
You motioned to his legs as you leveled Ahab’s Crosshairs. He looked at you
with wide, fear-filled eyes. “Don’t wworry. I ain’t goin’ to kill you.”
He seemed to relax a bit, but was still watching you with wide eyes.
You set your shoulders and pulled the trigger.
~~~~~
You’d managed to get the rust blood out of the shuttle and up to a healer who’d
balked at your captive’s missing legs below the thighs. You’d barked at him to
just ‘stop the fuckin’ bleedin’ I got a fuckin’ idea’ before tromping off to
find Equius and Horuss.
You found them with Mituna, Sollux, and the creepy ex-human Dirk.
After a quick explanation of what you needed, the two Zahhak’s and Dirk
wandered off to go fix the issue.
“You shot the guyth legth off?!” Mituna stared at you in horror while Sollux
just looked proud.
“ED helped a landweller! Thomeone call the prethh! Thith ith pure gold!” He
grinned and slapped you on the back. “Dave really got to you, didn’t he?” He
added in an almost-whisper so Mituna couldn’t hear.
You punched him in the shoulder as a reply.
“Havve wwe found anythin’ yet?” You asked, staring at the screens of code on
Sollux and Mituna’s grubtops.
“We ain’t found shit.” Mituna murmured. He typed a bit slower than Sollux did,
like he wasn’t used to it as much.
“Thcanth of the wreckage show that thereth a few more live oneth out there.”
Sollux shrugged, poking a couple buttons to show you the scans. “KK thent out a
group to pick them up.” You nodded again and sat down in Sollux’s chair,
earning you a glare from the other Gemini.
“Did you find anything bethideth the new amputee?”
“Some troll-shaped cutouts in Safety Foam on the same shuttle.” You shrugged.
“But that wwas it.”
“Thorry ED.” Sollux patted your shoulder before pulling you out of his chair to
sit down in it himself.
“Yeah. Me too.” You sighed, pushing your hair back from your face. It was
getting too long to have all of it up like you usually did.
“We’ll find him.” He assured you, tugging you down for a quick hug before
pushing you away. “Go thee where elthe you can be uthefull.”
~~~~~DAVE’S POV~~~~~
You had nightmares the whole day while you and Cronus had slept, so you woke
irritated and sore from the way the two of you had curled together the night
before.
Your first priority became getting the stupid handcuffs off your wrists.
“Cronus.” You poked the troll in the side and he groaned at you. “Get up, dude.
My arms asleep cuz of your fat head.”
“Fuck off Davwe my head isn’t fat. Your arm’s just skinny.” He barked at you,
but sat up anyway, yawning tiredly.
You rubbed your arm as you sat up yourself, looking around. “Where are we?” You
grumbled.
“Yellovw City.” Cronus replied as he helped you stand. “Vwe’re about ten
minutes awvay from the closest police office. In the hivwestems.”
“So I take it you’ve been here before?” You looked at the cuffs and cursed to
yourself when you noticed that, of course they were electronically locked and
you couldn’t just jimmy them open.
“A couple times. Wvisiting Captor.” He pointed down a few rows of hivestems.
“He livwes dowvn there. Vwe could go there and see if he has anything to get
these open.” He motioned to the cuffs as he started walking toward the next set
of hivestems.
“Captor?” You inquired, rubbing your shoulders with your un-cuffed hand.
Sleeping on the cement for a day huddled in a corner with another troll was
definitely something you weren’t going to try again. Ow.
“Mituna. Your Captor’s dancestor.”
You nodded and kept walking, taking time to look around a bit. You hadn’t been
to any part of Alternia except your hive along the mountains, Eridan’s hive in
the sea and Feferi’s palace to the north. The more city-like structures
surprised you. Dirk had said he lived in a hivestem hadn’t he? You couldn’t
imagine living so close to other murderous trolls. Your ten feet of lawn ring
wasn’t even enough space between you and them.
“Here it is.” Cronus mumbled, going through the list of names. The tenth on up
on the list was a ‘Mituna Captor’. “Tenth floor. Let’s go.”
“He won’t be here will he?” You asked, walking alongside Cronus as you went up
the stairs. He looked at you out of the corner of his eye.
“You got that summons to the palace too, right?” You nodded in agreement. “Then
he wvon’t be here.”
Logic was a hard thing to argue with.
The climb to Mituna’s tenth floor apartment was long, dark, and decidedly
boring. The insides of hivestems were made to keep the harsh Alternian sun out,
so the center stairwell was pitch black. If it weren’t for amazing troll
eyesight, you probably wouldn’t know what floor you were on.
The landing was empty when you and Cronus emerged onto the floor. As if on
auto-pilot, he moved to an unmarked door.
“PATHWORD!” The door chirped at him. It sounded almost like Sollux. Only older.
And happier.
“Tuna, it’s Cro.”
“PATHWORD!” The door said again, as if Cronus hadn’t spoken at all.
Cronus sighed. “Kiss my chargin tunkel you snank ass chumbuckest.”
“CORRECT!” The latch opened and you and Cronus entered the hive.
“You know his password?” You quirked your eyebrows at him while you shut the
door behind him.
“Vwe’re sort of… moirails. I guess. It doesn’t matter right nowv.” Cronus
snapped, dragging you over to a table of electronic tools. He was eyeing them
as though he knew what they did, so you let him be.
Mituna’s hive was messy as all get out. The entire floor of the place was
covered in wires and game grubs and pieces of broken skateboards. He had
several grub tops, all of which seemed inactive. One even had a hole punched
through the glass of the screen.
“That vwas me.” Cronus supplied, noticing what you were looking at. “Wve got
into a fight just before I vwas kidnapped.” He motioned to the screen and
shrugged before going back to the tools.
The recooprecoon in the corner was bifurcated and drained of any sopor. If you
guessed right, Mituna hadn’t been here in quite a while.
You heard a whirr and turned to see what Cronus was doing just as your handcuff
popped off.
“Got it.” He grinned, removing his own. He started to look around too, turning
on one of the grubtops you thought was toast. He went to open Trollian, and
then seemed to decide against it, opening the internet browser instead. You saw
the headlines for the news page a moment later.
You left him to it and went to get in a shower while you could.
The bathroom, unlike the rest of the hive, was tidy. Soft towels hung on the
rack and the shower was large enough for two. It only took you a second to
figure out how to turn it on.
The spray of hot water was amazing against your sore muscles. Maybe you’d see
if Cronus wanted to stay here for a few days. Rest up. You certainly missed
luxuries like these.
By the time you’d finished your shower Cronus had moved on from the grubtop and
was instead filling the recooprecoon with sopor. Apparently he’d come up with
the idea to stay as well.
“Tuna has some clothes that might fit you.” He glanced up at you, purple eyes
tired. “Over there.” He pointed to the dresser covered with electronic tools
you’d been standing at when you first came in.
You were ready to sleep, but would need something later, so you browsed the
wares.
“What the fuck, dude? Does heONLYwear jumpsuits?”
Cronus dissolved into chuckles behind you.
Chapter End Notes
     I'm sorry this took so long guys. I have some deep stuff going on
     right now and it's hard to write with all the demons in my head...
     Questions/Comments/Suggestions: http://swwagmebabe.tumblr.com/
     Come bug me: http://eribubblesampora.tumblr.com/
     My story blog: http://autorespawnse.tumblr.com/
***** You're Going Down *****
Chapter Summary
     It's been a long time coming
     And the table's turned around
     'Cause one of us is going
     One of us is going down.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
CHAPTER 20: You’re Going Down
~~~~~DAVE’S POV~~~~~
You had stayed in Mituna’s apartment a few days, resting, eating and catching
up on the world. You hadn’t realized how much you’d missed real food as you and
Cronus watched countless news reels and specials, listened to dozens of
speeches, gorging yourselves on the food you’d managed to get at the local
store; you remembered what you’d missed out on while you’d been held captive.
The news always had the latest on the “Rebel uprising” and often times, you
would see Feferi or a few of the others you recognized. Cronus pointed out his
friends to you, and you did the same for him; though he seemed to know a few of
them (like Karkat, but by this point, the whole planet probably knew who he
was).
It was nice to be back in the real world.
But even with the freedom to catch up on the goings-on, you had made him agree
not to go on Trollian. While Veliza had your shades, it was too dangerous for
you to log on. Cronus had, of course, disagreed at first, saying that the two
of you should try to contact the others. That you should at least tell them you
were free and safe. After you had argued with him about it for nearly an hour,
he’d resigned. The dangers of you getting caught were too high, even with his
account. One slip-up could have you both back in shackles, after all.
Still, every time Kankri came on the grubevision you could see Cronus get tense
and lurch a bit. Sometimes he’d even whine like it was painful. It must have
been hard to see him but not be able to touch him. You would probably do the
same if you saw Eridan, so you didn’t say anything to Cronus about it. You
weren’t one to talk anyway, considering you still woke up thinking Cronus was
Eridan every night and continuously tried to hug the life out of him. He never
mentioned that to you either, so you figured you were even as far as emotional
outbursts went.
By your fourth night in the hivestem apartment, you and Cronus decided it was
time to leave. The two of you were going stir-crazy and you had to get
somewhere safer than a city that was full of Trolls who would know you as the
Speaker for the uprising (you had tried to go to the store the first night you
were there and were almost arrested by the Psionic Force; it was not an
experience you wanted to have again).You had set course for his hive on the
northern shore to get some necessary supplies. Apparently he kept a rather nice
store of guns and naval weaponry that could be useful for keeping the two of
you safe (and help you raise a little hell).
From Cronus’ hive, you two were going to hop on a shuttle back to the next city
on the hit-list of the rebels. Your ultimate goal was to get your shades away
from that grub-fucker, Veliza. Hopefully, you’d meet up with the others
somewhere in the middle.
You were preparing to leave, dressed one of Mituna’s jumpsuits—a solid black
one—with a jacket Cronus had loaned you over it. The violet leather reminded
you of Eridanin a way that was almost comforting. Almost.
You’d also found one of Mituna’s old skateboarding helmets with a black visor,
still intact. You’d pilfered the visor, using it as makeshift shades.
“You look like a hot mess.” Cronus grinned at you, popping his collar. What a
douche. “Tuna’s suits fit you vwell.”
“I’m still a hot mess.” You shot back, making air quotes at him like a
wriggler. He rolled his eyes at you and you gave him the bird.
~~~~~Eridan’s POV~~~~~
It seemed that you spent every moment of spare time you got now with Sollux. It
wasn’t unpleasant or anything; it was just odd to you, considering your
relationship before this had consisted of him beating the shit out of you and
you blinding him.
At the moment, you were sitting beside him on one of the couches in the main
lounge block of your Green City hive stem. You were leaning your shoulder
against his while both of you screwed around on your grubtops, he was coding
something whilst you played with a music program Dave had installed to use when
he stayed with you.
You liked to listen to the mixes he’d made before. It made you feel as though
he was there with you and you took solace in the fact you even had these songs
in the first place. These were little fragments of Dave that you kept only to
yourself, and sometimes Sollux. He didn’t judge you for that.
Admittedly, it was fun to tweak the music, throwing in extra layers of
instruments and removing the bass lines. You often changed his technological
music into more instrumental pieces. You wondered what he’d say if he heard the
mixes, or if he’d even like them. Your tastes in music were kind of on opposite
sides of the spectrum sometimes.
You opened your mouth to ask Sollux if he’d listen to your newest re-make when
your Trollian lighted up with a message. You opened the program, thinking the
message was from Feferi or maybe Karkat. It wasn’t unusual to communicate with
the others through the platform while you were in your bases. It was certainly
faster than having the messengers find the person you were looking for.
You weren’t, however, expecting the dark red text in your log box.
--turntechGodhead [TG] began trolling caligulasAquarium [CA] at 09:41PM—
TG: hello eridan
CA: davve?
TG: who else would it be
TG: look i dont have much time
TG: can you meet me in green city at the docks
CA: wwhen
TG: two nights
TG: just be there
--turntechGodhead [TG] ceased trolling caligulasAquarium [CA] at 09:43PM—
CA: wwait davve
You sat back from your grubtop, frowning at it.
“Sol?” You couldn’t stop your voice from shaking slightly as you addressed the
other.
“Yeth, ED?” Sollux glanced at you, irritation written in his face until he saw
your look. “What’th wrong?”
“Look at this an’ tell me if it sounds right to you.” You held your grubtop out
to him, biting your lip nervously.
The Gemini was quiet while he read a worried expression on his face. After he
was done, he looked up at you. “That thoundth nothing like DV from my
experienthe.” He shook his head, rubbing his temples and frowning. It was a
look you’d learned meant he was thinking hard.
You took the grubtop back and stared at the lines of red text again. They were
like a foreign language to you. This wasn’t your Dave. He never typed ‘hello’,
and he hadn’t used your full name since the two of you had met. It was always
‘Danny’ (which was apparently a human diminutive) or ‘Babe’. Sometimes if he
was feeling especially brave, he’d call you ‘Bubbles’ but that mostly ended up
with you punching him.
“Wwhat do I do?”
“We go thee him.” Sollux said, nodding. “We go and we get him and we find out
what the fuck is going on with him and where he’s been.”
“Wwe?” You glanced at him, raising an eyebrow at him. “It just says I should
go.”
“It didn’t thay you had to go alone, dumbathh.” He rolled his eyes at you and
scoffed. “Of courthe I’m going with you. But we can’t thay anything to FF or
KK, though. They’ll inthitht on going and that would be a huge pain.”
“Just us then.” You nodded in agreement and closed out the conversation.
“Should be fun.” You said, voice flat, doing your best impression of Dave.
“Careful with that deadpan, ED. They might make you an honorary Thtrider if you
keep that up.” Sollux snickered and you grinned at him, feeling better already.
It was amazing having a moirail.
~~~~~DAVE’S POV~~~~~
You arrived at Cronus’ hive surprisingly intact, despite the several fights
you’d had to participate in to get there. You hated having to use your fists
for fighting, but you did what you had to. Aside from a couple minor cuts and
bruises the two of you were in top shape when you opened the door to his
fortress-like residence.
Cronus lived on the northern shores of Alternia’s coast, halfway across the
planet from you. His hive was literally carved out of the cliff face, all stone
faces and jagged edges. The black rocks were highlighted by the windows and
entrance portal, which were painted the vibrant violet of his blood color. The
place looked impenetrable. You almost wanted to attempt a break-in, just to see
if you could.
The inside of his hive was surprisingly bare, however, which shocked you.
There were no paintings or statues or tapestries or anything really. Just solid
black rock and electric lighting that must have been a bitch for the builder
drones to put in. It was a little eerie and depressing to walk through his
home, which you told him as he led you to the eastern corner of the place.
“I wasn’t liwving here much by the time they caught me. My stuff must havwe
been stolen.” He shrugged. “I just hope they didn’t find the entrance to the
basement.”
“What’s in the basement?” You asked as you rounded another corner after him and
nearly ran his ass over because he’d stopped right in front of you. The two of
you were squeezed into a tight space between two walls and Cronus was feeling
around on another wall in front of him.
“My collection.” He replied simply. You heard a soft click, and saw the wall
he’d been fiddling with open. There were stairs behind the hidden door, which
Cronus started to descend with practiced ease. You followed at a slower, less
graceful pace. It was dark as night in this part of his hive, and you couldn’t
see your feet; even with your amazing troll eyesight.
You almost ran into him again at the bottom of the steps where he had paused
again to feel along the cave wall on your left. You were in a fucking cave
below his hive-fortress.
This dude was seriously fucked up.
Or really well prepared.
You were about to ask why he was feeling up the wall when he found what he was
looking for. He flicked the switch under his hands and the whole cave lit up
with a dim glow coming from the lights strung along the stalactites the lined
the cavern’s ceiling.
Holy shit. You would kiss this stupid troll’s face off if it wouldn’t be
incredibly awkward and the both of you didn’t have significant other-trolls.
Cronus’ “collection” was A-FUCKING-MAZING. Guns and canons and swords laid on
the tables and shelves he’d dragged down to his cave-basement.
The place was like a museum of the Alternian Naval Core. Eridan would have
jizzed in his pants if he could see this place, you were sure of it.
“Whoa.” Was all you managed to say as your purple-blooded partner moved about
the room, eyeing the weapons he had stored up over the sweeps.
“None of these are going to livwe up to Ahab’s Crosshairs or anything.” He said
as he picked up a rifle and gave a once over, cocking it and releasing it a
second later. “But they’re all still in working order. Take anything you vwant,
as long as you knowv hovw to use it.”
Taking that as your queue, you started to move about the room as well, going
immediately for the swords.
None of them were like your usual Katana. They were ornamental; to be worn
during ceremonies.
“Hey, are any of these actually made to fight with?” You asked, frowning at the
blades.
Cronus came to stand beside you, still holding his rifle.
“The cutlass there, and the short swvords are.” He pointed to the blades in
question in turn. “Otherwise, no. I might havwe a fencing foil upstairs if
those bastards didn’t pilfer it.”
You picked up the short swords, studying them closely. They were a little dull
and needed some polishing, but they were usable.
“I didn’t know you used svwords.” Cronus said, watching you with bright eyes.
“A katana, most of the time, but I’ve used traditional and broadswords as
well.”
He nodded, making his way back over to the table with guns on it. “Vwell can
you make those wvork for nowv and vwe can find you another one later?” He set
his rifle down and picked up a pistol, toying with it idly.
“Yeah I can make it work.” You replied, shrugging a bit as you set the short
swords back in their place. “These are going to need to be sharpened. All of
them.” You muttered to yourself mostly, but Cronus must have heard you because
he told you there were whetstones in a drawer behind you. Fucking highbloods
man.
“Wve can stay here for a couple nights, so go ahead and do vwhat you need to
do. I got some wvork on these to do anywvay.” He switched the pistol for
another on the table, cocking that one like he did the other.
Then he fired a round at the wall, scaring you into dropping the cutlass you’d
been inspecting.
“FUCK CRONUS WARN A TROLL BEFORE YOU START FIRING OFF YOUR GUNS!!!”
He snickered at you and fired another round.
~~~~~ERIDAN’S POV~~~~~
The docks in Green City were deserted when you and Sollux arrived at them, just
after sunset on the night you were supposed to meet Dave.
Sollux floated above you, his Psiioniics supporting him while he surveyed the
area.
You walked below him; Ahab’s Crosshairs drawn in against your hip and ready to
fire.
“Hello Mr. Ampora.”
Chapter End Notes
     Swag Tumblr: http://swwagmebabe.tumblr.com/
     Auto's personal Tumblr: http://eribubblessol.tumblr.com/
     Auto's writing Tumblr: http://autorespawnse.tumblr.com/
***** Swag 2: Swag Harder *****
Chapter Summary
     Explanations.
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Hi guys.
My name is Aaron, also known as autoRespawnse. I’m the author of Swag.
When I first started the story in 2011, I was really scared to post it. I was
very worried that I would get hate mail and that I would feel awful about my
story because of it. So imagine my surprise when I heard NO hate at all! I was
so happy I just kept writing and writing! I mean, people wanted to read my
story! Wow! As Swag progressed, I managed to keep up with it fairly often, even
through four moves from one state to another, and finishing out highschool.
After my most recent move, though, my writing ability decided to wither away.
It’s gotten progressively harder to come up with new chapters. I’ve been
working on Chapter 21 on its own for almost six months. Also, the co-author I
had in the beginning is gone. There’s no “autoRespawnse, Heimdall” anymore.
It’s just me.
To be honest, after I added her as a co-author, I realized that the story
wasn’t MINE anymore and because I feel like it isn’t my story anymore, I can’t
continue it.
"What now?" Has rung through my mind several times during Chapter 21. "What do
I make them do now? How do I make them do it? How do I make it happen?"
I finally figured out how I’m going to do it.
I am currently in the process of re-writing Swag entirely. Dave and Eridan will
still be the main characters, and the plot will still be the same, but there
are several things I want to expand upon and change and make new. So I’m going
to build off what I wrote, and re-do the story.
Thank you for staying with me. I’m sorry that this is so up and down and all
over the place. I’m hoping to get back to regular updates as I write.
-Aaron (autoRespawnse)
Chapter End Notes
     Swag Tumblr, where there will be constant updates on the new and
     improved Swag:
     swwagmebabe.tumblr.com
     My Tumblr, where you can talk to me if you want:
     reality-rebellion.tumblr.com
Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed
their work!
