
Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/454006.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
  Category:
      Gen, Other
  Fandom:
      Buffy_the_Vampire_Slayer, Jossverse
  Relationship:
      Giles/Willow, Willow/Angelus
  Character:
      Giles, Willow, Angelus, Drusilla
  Additional Tags:
      Dark_fic, Implied/Referenced_Rape/Non-con, Rape/Non-con_Elements,
      Implied/Referenced_Sexual_Assault
  Stats:
      Published: 2012-07-07 Words: 3039
****** Shame ******
by eyesoflauramars_(Andromede)
Summary
     Giles wasn't the only one Angelus had Drusilla and his goons kidnap
     from the library the night they tried to restore his soul; he had to
     have someone else to use as incintive to get the Watcher to talk.
     What will Giles be willing to sacrifice to keep the world at large
     safe?
Notes
     This fic is very dark! Please heed the warnings and do not read if
     you are sensitive to any of them.
     This fic was written for the Summer of Giles comm on LJ and was
     beta'd by shakensilence and gilescandy - big thanks to both of them.
See the end of the work for more notes
The first thing Giles noticed was the pain.
 
There was a electrical storm inside his head; tiny lighting bolts of agony and
deafening thunderclaps rattling his brain. He tried to grit his teeth against
the ache and screwed his eyes tightly shut. It did nothing to help.
 
The next thing he was aware of was that he was bound. Ropes cut and burned into
his wrist and ankles as he tried to move.
 
He opened his mouth to cry out. He had to struggle to peel his tongue from the
roof of his arid mouth. The only noise he could make was a small raspy whimper.
 
“Finally!” A voice cheered; a voice that chilled Giles to the bone. “I was
beginning to think you’d never wake up.”
 
Giles slowly began to open his eyes, the memory of the ambush at the library
playing in his mind. Oh god, what had happened to the others?
 
The room was dark save for a small sliver of light shining through from another
room. But even that was too much for Giles; the light sending stabbing pains
behind his eyes. He closed them again and looked away.
 
“Ruuuperrrt,” that voice singsonged, making Giles wince. “You and I need to
have a little chat about Acathala.”
 
“I’m not telling you anything,” Giles rasped as fiercely as he could manage.
 
Angelus just chuckled. “You know, I was kind of hoping you would say that.
‘Cause if you talked right away I wouldn’t get to have my fun – and I just got
a nice new toy to play with.”
 
“Do what you will to me,” Giles spat, mustering every ounce of defiance he
could. “I’ll never tell you anything.”
 
Angelus just laughed again. “Oh Rupert, Rupert, Rupert,” he tutted. “You’re not
the toy I was talking about.” A slow wolfish smile split the vampire’s lips. He
turned his head toward the door and called out, “Drusilla, honey, bring in the
new plaything will you?”
 
Giles eyes were on the door, his heart was drumming away in his chest wondering
what sort of twisted game Angelus was up to. A moment later he found out when
the dark-haired vampire entered the room with the ‘toy’ Angelus was referring
to.
 
Giles’ heart froze in his chest. Dear god, no!
 
“Giles!” Willow called out horrified at the sight of the man tied to the chair
in the middle of the room, blood streaming down his face from a wound in his
head. “Oh god!” She made a move as if to go to him, but was stopped as
Drusilla’s hand wrapped around her throat.
 
Willow let out a strangled cry, wincing in pain.
 
“Let her go!” Giles cried, his voice hoarse and strained. He struggled futilely
against his restraints.
 
“Good little girls are to be seen and not heard,” Drusilla admonished Willow as
if Giles hadn’t spoken. “Daddy’s going to give you such a lashing; daddies
don’t like disobedient daughters.” She raised the hand that wasn’t holding onto
Willow’s neck and raked the long red nails (the ones that had taken the life of
a Slayer) of her spindly white fingers through Willow’s fiery locks. “What a
pretty dolly, you’d make,” she murmured, then looked at Angelus with large
hopeful eyes and a small smile. “Can I keep her when you’re done? Miss Edith
has been wanting a new friend so.”
 
“We’ll see baby,” Angelus murmured amusement tinging his voice. “But, she might
not be in too good of shape by the time I get finished with her.” He turned to
Giles and gave him a wink. “Now why don’t you run along and let us boys have
some fun for awhile.”
 
Drusilla pouted. “Why can’t I play too?”
 
“Dru...” Angelus drawled in that warning way parents used to cow petulant
children.
 
Drusilla let out a whimper, but complied with her sire's command. She petted
Willow on the head and leaned into speak in her ear. “Lucky dolly, getting to
play with daddy,” she said. “He knows just how to make it hurt.” She let her
fingers slowly comb through Willow’s hair as she backed away and left the room.
 
Willow jumped as the door closed behind her. She looked at Angelus, he had a
cruel smile playing across his pale lips. She gulped trying to keep from
hyperventilating. She thought she had been as scared as she could be when she
woke up and saw Drusilla looming over her and wanted nothing but to get away
from the crazed vampire. But, now she would give almost anything to go back and
join the deranged tea party with Dru and Miss Edith.
 
Angelus slowly slunk towards Willow; his large body moved with the grace of a
panther. He circled around her, coming to a stop behind her and leaned forward
to whisper in her ear. “Hello, little one.”
 
Willow shivered as his lips brushed against her ear as he spoke. She flinched.
 
Angelus chuckled. “You’re not afraid of me, are you? That hurts my feelings.”
He lightly brushed her cheek with the back of his hand. “I always thought we
were friends.”
 
Willow twisted her head away from his caress with a sob.
 
Angelus gripped her chin and wrenched her face back. Willow whimpered.
 
Giles struggled again against his bonds. “If you hurt her I swear I’ll kill
you!” he raged.
 
“I think that little head wound of yours is clouding your reasoning there, old
man,” Angelus replied. “The man tied to the chair is in no position to be
posing any threats. But, I gotta say, I like your gallantry. It’s kinda sexy.”
He pressed his lips to Willow’s ear again. “Don’t you think, little one?” he
murmured as his hand slid down her side and came to rest on her hip.
 
“Don’t touch her!” Giles cried again. He was ignored.
 
“You know one thing that all three of us have in common is?” Angelus paused
after asking the question as if really expecting one of them to answer. “We all
love books,” he said. “And that library of yours Giles, man does it have all
kinds of interesting books.” He snickered. “There’s one in particular I’ve been
reading that is just...fascinating.” Angelus stepped away from Willow and
crossed the room over to the bed. He pulled open a drawer in the nightstand and
reached inside. “I’ve had a hard time putting it down. Which was difficult as a
lot of the time I had to read it one handed.” He flashed a grin at Giles as he
held up the leather bound volume in his hand.
 
Giles paled as he saw the journal – his personal journal. Not his Watchers
diary. His head swam as he realised all the secrets he had written down that
the vampire was now privy to; his inner most shameful thoughts and fantasies,
many of which concerned the young girl shaking and crying at the other end of
the room.
 
That’s why Angelus had taken her. He knew how Giles really felt about her.
 
His chest twisted with guilt. Oh, Willow.
Because of his carelessness Angelus knew just who to use against him to get
what he wanted, and Giles had no doubt that the sadistic bastard would subject
the girl to every form of torture in his arsenal until Giles cracked.
 
Willow’s eyes filled with confusion as she looked between the Watcher and the
vampire; she knew that the book Angelus held had some significance to Giles,
but she couldn’t fathom what it was to put such a look on his face.
 
And why had he looked at her like that?
 
And why was Angelus now looking at her like...that?
 
The vampire’s lips curved in a roguish grin as he parted the cover of the book.
He began to walk back towards Willow as he read aloud,
 
“I want feel the smoothness of her porcelain skin as I kiss my way up her long,
slender stems. Finding my way to the crimson walls of her forbidden passage to
immerse myself in her satin heat. Taste the sweetest milk known to man–”
Angelus stopped reciting and laughed. “You know old man,” he said to Giles, “I
think you really missed out on your calling as a Harlequin writer.” He turned
his smile to Willow and tilted his head to the side. “So, little one, have you
figured out whose ‘crimson walls’ it is that dear old Mr. Giles here wants
to... penetrate?”
Willow was too shocked to speak. Giles had wrote that? About her? She looked to
the man she admired so for some kind of answer. He couldn’t meet her eyes.
 
“Do you really think that she’s the same on the bottom as she is up top?”
Angelus asked. “I’ve always kind of wondered that myself. Let’s see, shall we?”
He snapped the book closed and tossed it on the bed. Then he strode back over
to Willow, coming up behind her and sliding his hands up her thighs, hitching
up the hem of her skirt.
 
Willow made a choking sound as the vampires cool callused hands slowly inched
up her skirt.
 
“Don’t!” Giles cried meekly. “Stop it!”
 
Angelus’ hands stilled. “Make me,” he countered. “You know what I want to know.
Just tell me how to wake up my boy Acathala and I’ll leave sweet little Willow
alone.”
 
Giles bit his tongue. He wanted to make Angelus stop, but he knew better than
to trust the word of an evil vampire. No matter what Willow was not going to
make it out of this unscathed. But if Giles told Angelus what he wanted to know
the rest of the world would suffer as well.
 
After a moment had stretched out and became clear the Watcher wasn’t going to
offer up anything, Angelus sighed. “All right, then.” He hiked Willow’s skirt
up all the way, revealing her light pink cotton panties with a red heart’s
printed on them.
 
“Well now aren’t these adorable,” Angelus remarked as he snaked his fingers in
the waistband and eased them down Willow’s thighs, letting them drop to her
ankles. “Well, well, what do you know? She’s really is red all over.” He buried
his face in her hair and whispered in her ear, “Now that really is a turn on.”
 
Willow whimpered as he bucked his hips hard against her and she felt his length
press into the small of her back the way it had when he held her that night in
the hall at school.
 
Angelus ran his hand up and down the inside of Willow’s thigh. “Well, Rupert,
you were certainly right about her skin being smooth. Let’s see what else you
got right, hm?” He moved his hand all the way to her sex. He twirled one of her
course curls between his thumb and forefinger finger, before stroking the tip
of his thumb along the lips of her entrance.
 
Willow couldn’t help the gasp that escaped her as the nail of his thumb crazed
along her sensitive flesh. She bit down on the inside of her cheek and squeezed
her eyes shut trying to will away the sensation her body was reacting to
without her permission.
 
A low chuckle rumbled from Angelus. “Well, well, well,” he murmured as he
lifted his hand and rubbed his now damp fingers together. “I guess this means
you do like me after all.” He licked his fingers, his eyes closing and moaning.
“Oh, yeah, that is sweet.”
 
Giles’ blood was raging in his ears. He writhed and pulled against his
bindings. “If you lay one more finger on her I’ll–”
 
“All right. I won’t touch her again,” said Angelus. “All you have to do is tell
me what I want to know. So, Giles, are you ready to talk?”
                                        
Willow’s eyes snapped open and she looked at her mentor and friend. She could
see the war waging behind his eyes. He was wearing down. She knew what would
happen if Angelus found out how to awaken Acathala; the whole world would be
doomed. She would feel responsible. She couldn’t allow Giles to help Angelus on
her account.
 
“Giles!” she cried out forcing him to look at her.
 
Giles looked up at the sound of Willow’s voice. He forced himself to look into
her eyes despite the disgrace in himself he felt doing so. Her already large
eyes were even wider than normal from fright. But fear wasn’t the predominate
emotion displayed in her emerald depths. There was defiance and
strength...resolve. Willow may be an innocent, but she was far from naive; she
knew how this situation would end. She knew, as Giles did, there was no safe
way out of this. She also knew that if Giles tried to save her from what
Angelus had in mind, the world would pay the price. Millions of innocents for
one.
 
There was no choice.
 
Giles nodded weakly to her and closed his eyes. Tears tracked down his face.
“I’m so sorry,” he whispered defeated. Then he opened his eyes and raised his
head to Angelus. He screwed up every dismal scrap of strength he had and spat,
“I’m not telling you anything!”
 
Willow’s eyes slid closed pushing down tears of her own; they were a mix of
relief and sorrow.
 
“If that’s the way you want it,” Angelus seethed. He grabbed Willow’s hand and
pulled her so roughly her shoulder nearly dislocated. She cried out from the
pain. Angelus swung her around like a rag doll (well Drusilla did say she’d
make a good one) and tossed her onto the bed.
 
He stormed over to Giles and took hold of the sides of the chair he was bound
to. “I want you to be able to see every minute of this,” he whispered harshly
into Giles ear. Then he twisted the chair to point toward the bed.
 
The vampire stood up straight and whipped around to Willow and started to undo
his buckle. Willow’s eyes widened and she tried to scamper back on the bed as
Angelus stalked toward her grinning like a wolf approaching a helpless bunny; a
look of blind hunger and lust in his eyes. He whipped off his belt with a snap.
 
Willow rolled onto her side and tried to clamour out of the bed. Angelus
laughed as he effortlessly zoomed around the bed to cut her off. She slammed
right into his hard chest and fell back onto the bed. Angelus leaned over her,
taking his belt and wrapping the strap around her wrists and tied them to the
bedpost.
 
“Now,” Angelus purred, “it’s time to get a good look at those ‘lilly white
mounds of supple flesh’ I’ve been reading so much about.” He gripped the collar
of her shirt and ripped it open.
 
Willow cried out in ineffectual protest.
 
Angelus looked down at her naked breast almost salivating. He looked back at
Giles with a grin. “What do you think Rupert?” he asked. “Are they all you’ve
ever dreamed about?” Giles shut his eyes and looked away. The vampire pursed
his lips and turned back to Willow. “They’re a bit small for my taste.” He
cupped one of her breast in his hand. “But, pert,” he curled his hand and
squeezed her breast, then twisted it, hard. “Firm too.”
 
Willow clenched her teeth, trying hard not to cry against the pain.
 
Angelus looked back at Giles who still had his eyes closed tightly, his head
down. The vampire sighed in frustration and got up from the bed. He walked
around the back of the man and grabbed him by the hair, wrenching back his
head.
 
“Open your eyes!” he shouted. “It’s your every fantasy laid out before you,
don’t you want to look?” When Giles still didn’t open his eyes, Angelus pulled
tighter on his hair. “Look!” he demanded.
 
“Stop it!” Willow cried from the bed as she twisted her body against the belt
holding her down. “Leave him alone.”
 
Angelus chuckled and released his grip on Giles. “Well, would you listen to
that,” he said. “She’s still trying to save you even though you didn’t lift a
finger for her.” He shook his head in mock wonder. He clucked his tongue and
stepped around in front of Giles. Angelus bent down to the Watcher’s face.
“Fine,” he said. “If you don’t want to watch, you don’t have to watch.” The
legs of the chair scraped loudly on the floor as Angelus whirled it around
again. “But, you’re still gonna listen,” Angelus whispered. “Which is just as
good if you asked me.” He smirked. “The screaming has always been my favorite
part.”
 
It was a necessity for Giles, as a Watcher, to be able to deal with the harsh
reality that, in the fight against evil, the good will be sacrificed. He had
witnessed more Slayers than he cares to recall fall in the incessant war on the
powers of darkness. And every death effected him, but he accepted them; it was,
as cold as it might sound, a part of their fate. He couldn’t have saved them.
 
Just like there was nothing he could have done to save Jenny.
 
But, Willow, that was entirely a different story. He’d been given a chance to
spare her and he’d chosen not to for the greater good.
 
For the first time since he took his oath as Watcher to uphold the safety of
the world against everything else, he was truly being tested. It was the first
test that Rupert Giles wished he had failed.
 
He had stuck to his oath. But at what cost?
 
The screaming lasted for what seemed like an eternity; every one of Willow’s
cries ripping through Giles’ being, tearing him to shreds until he was nothing
left but unrecognizable pieces. He didn’t think he would survive the pain.
 
Then it all went quiet.
 
And Angelus came to him and turned his chair back around once again.
 
As Giles opened his eyes and looked at the girl – who had always been so bright
and full of life – that now lay bound and broken on the bed, he no longer felt
any pain; there was no room for it.
 
All that remained was his shame.
 
END
End Notes
     If you would, please leave me a comment with your thoughts on this
     story - whatever they might be. Concrit welcome.
Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed
their work!
